thousand meter stare - noun phrase - Watching multiple poorly designed dashboards jam packed with graphs, meters, gauges, and other barely useful metrics, day in and day out. If you imagine the thousand yard stare into multiple displays showing said dashboards, that's it.
Inspiration: Rev. Nikolai Kingsley
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shark mode - noun phrase - The state in which a given piece of software is sufficiently developed that it doesn't really need any additional work, save to keep it working in more modern environments. Comes from the idea that sharks haven't evolved notably in millions of years because they haven't had to. They're so perfectly suited to their environment that any changes are minimal at best.
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profit honeymoon - noun phrase - When the price of a barrel of oil goes up (or when something occurs that could eventually make it go up) the price at the pump goes up immediately. But when the price of crude goes down, there's always a 1 to 3 month lag time before the price at the pump goes down. If it goes down.
Source: @emsprater1 and @jaydcarr
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Strossian Nightmare - noun phrase - Where the Great Old Ones haven't taken control, but things have gotten so bad that you wish they had.
Source: @tautology
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wad;dis - Working As Designed; Design Is Stupid
Source: Anonymous co-worker
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follicular surveillance - when you use the "you are under surveillance" screens at self-service checkouts to check on the progress of your androgenic alopecia.
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pandemic fine - noun phrase - A state of being in which you are employed and healthy during a pandemic but you're also tired and depressed and feel like trash all the time.
Source: @sarahesmith23
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octopus mud wrestling - A situation where multiple conflicting problems and solutions come together to prevent anyone from accomplishing anything useful. Every possible step toward a solution causes two other problems that further complicate things. Sometimes this means that something can't be fixed at all and a forklift upgrade is required. Sometimes attempts to fix everything cause an outage to occur, ruining everybody's day. So called because everything is dirty, messy, confusing, constantly changing and nobody will have any idea what's actually going on until it's over.
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macgyver-sherlock effect - When it's far easier to improvise a solution to a problem than it is to find the people who're actually responsible for fixing it. A fairly normal state of affairs for very large organizations.
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stop - adjective, humorous - Golang code written in a very un-Go-like style.
Example: "The data structure in the new protocol shim was written with a very stop design pattern."
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