The month of April is fired.

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No, more than that. If I could nuke the month of April clean off of the human calendar, I'd do just that. There'd be a big, 30 day gap between March and June where nothing would have a chance to go wrong, blow up, or otherwise try to fuck people without the usual accoutrements of dinner, a couple of drinks, and some lubricant first.

First of all, my federal income taxes got screwed up this year. Somehow, I was marked as already married on my W-2 form, which means that not enough money was taken out up front for taxes …

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