"There are only two types of people in this world: Rich and not rich.  Rich
people stick together and do everything they can to make sure the rest of us
never stop fighting each other long enough to do the same."
    --The Connoisseur

"Sincere, coherent political beliefs are largely the province of the
bourgeoisie and nerds who paid attention in government class."
    --Elizabeth Lopatto

"The problem is, I know the lyrics to every song from the seventies.  And
there's no more room in here."
    --Adam Savage

"'Probably nothing' is a major cause of death for guys my age."
    --Hasufin

"We were all so young then.  The new compounds were coming out of the Stanford
labs faster than the government could make them illegal."
    --Danger Ranger

"The primary use of 'misinformation' is not to change the beliefs of other
people at all.  Instead, the vast majority of misinformation is offered as a
service for people to maintain their beliefs in face of overwhelming evidence
to the contrary."
    --Mike Caulfield

"Idealism, or just being fair, has become too expensive."
    --Jessica Wildfire

"Those debates reduce it to a place that it doesn't need to be in.  People that
attack Doctor Who blow my mind.  It's about an alien who is cool and travels
around the universe saving civilizations - what's not to love?"
    --Matt Smith

"It is the spirit of the game, not the letter of the rules, which is important.
Never hold to the letter written, nor allow some barracks room lawyer to force
quotations from the rule book upon you, if it goes against the obvious intent
of the game."
    --Gary Gygax

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American
public believes is false."
    --William J. Casey, CIA Director

"Everything is an antenna if you use it wrong enough."
    --jimbojsb

"When I read great literature, great drama, speeches, or sermons, I feel that
the human mind has not achieved anything greater than the ability to share
feelings and thoughts through language."
    --James Earl Jones

"God made you a brunette, yet you are now a blonde.  God gave you bad vision,
yet you fixed it with glasses.  God gave you crooked teeth, yet you
straightened them with braces.  Trans people change the outside to match the
inside, just like you do.  Sit down.  Jesus said to."
    --Dana Goldberg

"Big yikes: 'Our basic philosophy when it comes to security is that we can
trust our developers and that we can trust the private network within the
cluster.'  The last time this security model was remotely workable was
1988-11-02."
    --Thom Stromberg

"The facts are so depressing - from abortion to housing to climate change - the
battle in today's America is about the headlines.  No one outside of a tiny
demographic reads the actual articles, as is attested to by the massive
decline in traditional media."
    --Ken Klippenstein

"Even if he did what they say he did, we've been paying Dan Quayle big bucks
to do it in The White House!"
    --Arsinio Hall, on the arrest of Paul Reubens

"Just say what you want and pray.  Any notes on 'how' will be followed with
the diligence of a brilliant intern on ketamine."
    --Riley Goodside

"Every snowflake is special until you need to make a snowball."
    --Pine Barrens

"Do not fall into the trap of anthropomorphizing Larry Ellison.  You need to
think of Larry Ellison the way you think of a lawnmower.  You don't
anthropomorphize your lawnmower, the lawnmower just mows the lawn - you stick
your hand in there and it'll chop it off, the end.  You don't think 'oh, the
lawnmower hates me' - lawnmower doesn't give a shit about you, lawnmower can't
hate you.  Don't anthropomorphize the lawnmower.  Don't fall into that trap
about Oracle."
    --Bryan Cantrill

"Belief in the efficacy of military power almost inevitably breeds the
temptation to put that power to work.  'Peace through strength' easily enough
becomes 'peace through war'."
    --Colonel Andrew Bacevich, United States Army (ret), professor of history
      and international relations, Boston University

"The constant struggle between 'I should probably be more informed about
current events' and 'I would like to be a functional human being with at least
a vague will to live.'"
    --it's mo!

"When I hear 'See it, Say it, Sorted', I picture the banality of the meetings
that gave rise to this paranoid catchphrase, which is designed to get people
to rat on each other.  I picture Hugo talking to Tim about dropping his kids
off at school while a nervous intern waits to take notes.  I imagine the
British Transport Police team giving them the contract, and how they maybe
went out for dinner and cocktails afterwards, having laid out a phrase that
literally millions of people will have to hear every day for the next, maybe,
twenty years."
    --Brett Scott

"Vladimir Lenin argued that the most effective way to weaken the resolve of
the ruling elite was to tell it exactly what to expect.  This brazenness
attracts the notice of state security, but it gives the movement an honesty
and cachet.  The revolutionary, he wrote, must make unequivocal demands that,
if met, would mean the obliteration of the current power structure."
    --Chris Hedges

"If someone tells you that a given piece of technology is an example of a new
kind of life, and then sells you a product that forces that new kind of life
to answer questions at a car dealership, then either they're lying, and they
don't believe it's alive, or they see life only in terms of its commercial
productivity.  Either way, you can immediately discount their opinion on
anything with an ethical dimension."
    --Xandra Granade

"If you can't pirate it, it's not worth the money to rent it."
    --Lesbian Moon GF

"No matter how many tears the CEOs shed or how often HR insisted ''we're all
in this together,'' the harsh truth remains.  Humans are, painfully and
inevitably, just resources.  And it's inconvenient for those resources to be
anywhere but their desks."
    --Joan Westernberg

"Cannibalism is part of the great cultural legacies of our species.  In times
past, for instance, we would eat our honoured dead to gain their wisdom.  In
medieval times, too, it was believed that memories were stored in the
cerebrospinal fluid.  Sadly, it seems that memory cannot be transferred
biochemically - which is just as well, otherwise Stephen Hawking would have
had to get his wheelchair equipped with BEN HUR-style spikes and a turbo
option."
    --Warren Ellis

"You know a piece of tech is going to be fun to take apart when it makes you
go buy a new set of bits just to be able to open it."
    --Foone

"Believe nothing, but question only what is worth questioning."
    --George Polya

"Any time you see normal people they are basically medieval peasants.  So if
you have flying vehicles and laser guns, it's not super hard to be master of
that universe."
    --Scalytor

"The enemy often marches to the same drum as the potential victim but follows
an unanticipated path."
    --Donn B. Parker

"It's very hard to engage in game theory with people who pursue the non-game
theory optimal strategy."
    --Palmer Luckey

"Journalism is the first draft of history."
    -Jeff Rotkoff

"Nowadays there's no inventing involved for problems like this, just expensive
industrial Lego."
    --Jonathan Chapman

"We sunk three of their boats, they dropped the sun on us.  Twice."
    --The Slavic Warboss

"Guilt says: This was the wrong decision.  Shame says: You are idiots."
    --Dr. Kristen Panthagani, MD, Ph.D

"I prefer rogues to imbeciles, because they sometimes take a rest."
    --Alexandre Dumas

"It's amazing, watching Americans complain about their border being insecure,
as they actively violate everyone else's borders."
    --Richard Medhurst

"I generally do not recommend the standard redneck solution of pouring
gasoline into the nest and lighting it.  You don't know where that nest goes,
and the only thing worse than an angry yellowjacket flying at you is one doing
so when on fire."
    --Luke Kanies

"'Corporation embarrassed into doing the right thing after bad PR threatens
the bottom line' is how capitalism works I guess.  Is this the Invisible Hand
they always talk about?"
    --Mark Shane Hayden

"The message is always more important than the spelling, the grammar, the
tone, whatever.  Did the communicator get their message received and
understood to their intended audience?  Then job done.  Functional linguistics,
baby.  Accept no substitutes."
    --Morachbeag

"Pro tip!  A heat sink should not have an ignition temperature.  It should
*especially* not have an ignition temperature that's lower than the source can
provide."
    --James

"The US, since 1981, has been coordinate-locked in a doomed struggle to use
private morality to fill the widening chasm where public money used to be.
Put another way, nearly everything that you (or anyone) wish could be
accomplished by shaming people would be effected sooner and more efficiently
by simply investing the correct amount of infrastructural dollars to address
the particular lack of them."
    --JNL

"It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had
never shone."
    --John Steinbeck

"ChatGPT NEVER ONCE said ''That's a stupid question, go read the manual'' or
'This question is below me, go ask someone else.'  Why are the few people that
do exist on the planet such assholes sometimes?
    --Rue Mohn

"It's not 'natural' to speak well, eloquently, in an interesting articulate
way.  People living in groups, families, communes say little - have few verbal
means.  Eloquence - thinking in words - is a byproduct of solitude,
deracination, a heightened painful individuality."
    --Susan Sontag, _As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh_

"Other struggling people aren't the enemy."
    --Nathan Monk

"If you actually care about improving things rather than just getting on the
same bandwagon as everyone else, it's vital to have a nuanced and informed
opinion, otherwise you're not going to have the impact you hope for.  Neither
AI nor ML is new, and the only reason you are upset about it now is because
tech companies are shoving it in your face to try and be relevant.  But the
things you actually see advertised is a fraction of what's going on.  We can't
just ''get rid of AI,'' even if we'd want to."
    --Anthropy

"Progress: Replacing a theory that is wrong with one more subtly wrong."
    --Anonymous

"When someone calls you a conspiracy theorist, it doesn't mean much anymore.
Conspiracies are happening.  It's just a matter of which ones make sense,
which ones have actual evidence, and which don't.  The rich don't have to sit
around in an underground bunker cackling at us as they plot the end of
retirement and social security.  They meet out in the open at football games,
soccer matches, concerts, and fundraising events.  When they get together,
they don't talk about how to take over the world.  They just talk about how to
make more money.  Who it hurts is an afterthought.  If someone doesn't want
something to be true, they call it a conspiracy theory.  It's an easy way to
dismiss ideas that make them uncomfortable."
    --Jessica Wildfire

"Scientists share with all human beings the great and inalienable privilege of
being, on occasion, wrong; of being egregiously wrong sometimes, even
monumentally wrong.  What is worse still, they are sometimes perversely and
persistently wrong-headed.  And since that is true, science itself can be
wrong in this aspect or that."
    --Isaac Asimov

"Maybe those nihilist philosophers are right; maybe this is all we can expect
of the universe, a relentless crushing of life and spirit, because the
equilibrium state of the cosmos is death."
    --Arthur C. Clarke

"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and
as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."
    --Albert Einstein

"If you were frustrated with the media's refusal to publish the Vance dossier,
prepare for a future that's worse.  The media is going to see the case of the
Vance dossier and conclude that reporting on similar documents isn't worth
losing their social media accounts over.  Why take the risk when you can just
blather on about the horse race?  As always, it's the public that loses out
the most."
    --Ken Klippenstein

"It really doesn't matter if something is legitimately useful, efficient, or
beloved, it is next to impossible for a service to exist if it doesn't make
shareholders increasing amounts of money year after year."
    --sapphixxx

"For when 'To whom it may concern' isn't nearly enough, we have 'Attention
grid coordinates...'"
    --Durandal Nerimus

"Thinking about that TNG episode where Riker says he never feels rested after
sleeping, and Dr. Crusher tells him to just drink warm milk about it, and then
later it turns out he's been abducted by aliens six times and had his arm cut
off.  Most accurate portrayal of dealing with the medical profession ever seen
on screen."
    --Dragon In A Fez

"If you aren't at the table, you're on the menu."
    --Ann Richards

"This might be the first crisis where I have to begin by advocating that
children are humans."
    --James Elder, UNICEF, Gaza

"A Christian movement that believes it's only hope of survival and success is
to put its trust in the hands of a bully is a Christian movement that has
stopped trusting Jesus a long time ago."
    --Rev. Benjamin Cremer

"That's the thing about useful idiots.  They're idiots."
    --Sarah Longwell

"Anarchy means doing the right thing even if nobody else does."
    --Anonymous

"I had honestly thought that building up specific skill in systems analysis
and security would keep me employed regardless of tech, because those skills
are requisite for the operation and maintenance of all systems.  I failed to
account for people no longer caring if systems work properly."
    --Munin

"I feel bad for kids who are currently learning to program by moving shapes
and animating dogs, as they're gonna be hit with the cold reality of real
development, which is copy/pasting Linux commands and resolving git merge
conflicts."
    --I Am Developer

"The winner of the Nobel Price in physics spending the entire press conference
talking worriedly about superintelligence and human extinction while being
basically indifferent to the prize or the work that won it feels like
something you'd see in the movies right before shit goes down."
    --James Campbell

"Americans love Cool Dad because he does not love them and never will, so we
beg for crumbs, and hates Uncool Mom because she neither burns the house down
with both of them in it nor will she ever stop allowing his abuse to seem less
horrible by working to fix the problems he creates before they take us all
down, so we can just call her a bitch and know she'll still probably make
dinner out of whatever Dad left after his last rampage.  Or if you're a
Libertarian, I guess Dad going for a pack of cigarettes and never coming back
is the goal."
    --Cat Valente

"Is there any particular reason there were so many serial killers in the
1970's?"
"Violent video games, like Pong."
    --Fun_Butterfly_420 and ghostfaber

"In Diablo IV, my Spiritborn character is named Tlazkamati - a bitchin' Aztec
name, right?  Probably means something stone cold murderous, right?
'Tlazkamati' in Nahuatl means 'thanks.'"
    --Derek C.F. Pegritz

"STOP MAKING SERVICES AND FACTORIES AND INTERFACES AND JUST READ THE FUCKING
JSON FILE YOU ENTERPRISE FUCKERS"
    --Foone

"Security warning: It is possible, under certain conditions, to read some bits
of information from a LaTeX error message, which in a low but non-negligible
fraction of circumstances could theoretically be used by an attacker to figure
out why the build failed."
    --Chris Martin

"There is no ground state.  It's fluctuations all the way down.  Emptiness is
fullness."
    --Nandi

"Why does it feel like we live in a time where you could probably tell
somebody that you're using an air purifier to ward off ghosts and evil spirits
and they'll nod sagely, but tell them you're using it to clean the air of
germs/pollen/toxins and they'll scoff and roll their eyes at the notion."
    --That Katherine

"One of the more disappointing truths of adulthood is just how much having
hobbies adjacent to your career will suck the joy out of your hobbies."
    --Ellie

"Basically, work off the assumption that anyone you don't know and have built
a personal rapport with will take the laziest path out of any interaction."
    --Anonymous

"We use the tools we are comfortable with, even if they are blasphemous
machinations."
    --Cendyne

"The abstraction layer that simplifies is the abstraction layer that
complicates."
    --Current Ticket

"Obviously, crime pays.  Or there would be no crime."
    --G. Gordon Liddy

"Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care."
    --Anonymous

"Our governments are basically spending their time talking about the symptoms
of their insanity.  Poverty, radicalization, global warming, pandemics,
inflation - you name it.  The lives of our children are in the hands of
charlatans who feature no relevant knowledge nor skills."
    --Bullshit Jobs

"In the 90's, we went on the Internet in an attempt to escape the real world.
Nowadays we go to the real world in an attempt to escape the Internet."
    --Vess On Security

"I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie
to watch and pizza to order.  I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm
the one with the money."
    --Dad Jokes

"Prosperity gospel is the Satanism that Christians think Satanists espouse."
    --Undead

"The buck always stops with the most vulnerable and least responsible people."
    --Vulcan Tourist

"One fun thing about all of our devices listening to us all at all times is
that they definitely have recordings of millions of us yelling at politicians
things like ''It's not a war, you sick fuck!!''"
    --sea

"Science literacy empowers you to know when someone else is full of shit."
    --Neil DeGrasse Tyson

"Culture war issues are meant to motivate a largely apathetic voter base that
doesn't especially give a shit about government appropriations.  They have
been used historically by Republicans, starting with Barry Goldwater, in order
to enact specific financial policies that have largely hurt lower-class
Americans."
    --Elizabeth Lopatto

"You kind of have to be a sociopath to think things are going well."
    --Neal Brennan

"HEY YOU DON'T NEED A SEPARATE C# CLASS FOR EACH XML FILE YOU LOAD.  YOU CAN
JUST HAVE AN XMLLOADER CLASS AND A GENERIC CONFIG FILE.  PLEASE."
    --Foone

"So tall, so somehow unreal, the unfathomable adults standing over us when we
were small, and now they are all dead, and we look in old mirrors and see how
tall and unreal and unfathomable we are now.  Even to ourselves."
    --Warren Ellis

"How many times does the CIA have to overthrow your government and assassinate
your leadership to teach you that socialism will never work?"
    --Muffin Maker

"Mario is a union man - he's not going to scab on Kirby!"
    --prokopetz

"Monopoly gave me unrealistic expectations of how easy it would be to find
free parking, join the property ladder, buy my way out of prison, get bank
errors in my favor, and steal money from banks when no one was looking."
    --Andy Ryan

"That we're in the Twenties sounds so weird.  It's so synonymous with the
1920's.  Sounds like a bygone era when women were still fighting for their
rights, the upper classes were living a life of hedonism whilst people
starved, and the world was on the verge of financial ruin and war."
    --Nooruddean

"As to sending me a revert patch - please use whatever mush you call brains.
I'm Finnish.  Did you think I'd be supporting Russian aggression?  Apparently
it's not just lack of real news, it's lack of history knowledge too."
    --Linus Torvalds

"Evil, when we are in its power is not felt as evil but as a necessity, or
even a duty."
    --Simone Weil

"Another perfect, beautiful day to ingest stimulants and sit at a computer.
What a blessed life."
    --@skooookum

"''If you block me it means you think I'm right.''  Actually, it means you're
annoying and I wasn't enjoying our interaction.  Life is too short to use my
energy on strangers who suck."
    --Dr. Amy, Psy.D

"I personally like emails like that because it is generally considered rude to
ask people to wear a warning sign that they tend to talk about topics for
which they know nothing or are factually wrong most of the time."
    --Kurt Seifried

"Scientific American and the Insane Clown Posse have both endorsed Harris.
I'm glad the 'Fucking magnets, how do they work?' and 'This is how fucking
magnets work' communities could come together on this."
    --Rob T. Firefly

"The most unrealistic thing about Batman is the idea that a billionaire would
do anything to help the poor."
    --68000

"A mistake repeated more than once is a choice."
    --Paulo Coelho

You can easily return to the past but no one is there anymore.

"The reason y'all be having all these technical degrees and making 300k, but
keep falling for conspiracy theories is because you thought English classes
were stupid in college and now you don't know what a logical fallacy is."
    --@DapperDomo

"And now you'll be telling stories of my coming back, and they won't be false,
and they won't be true, but they'll be real."
    --Mary Oliver

"Real supervillians like Musk and Trump are such rubbish compared to fictional
ones.  Even those in the '60s Batman TV show were more complex and interesting.
Unfortunately the real ones are as extremely dangerous as they are extremely
dull."
    --Rayotron

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that
cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong
goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair."
    --Douglas Adams

"Bitcoin was supposed to demonstrate the power of a true free market.  Instead
it's full of scams, rent-seekers, theft, useless for real purchases and
accelerates climate change.  Mission accomplished."
    --Adam Chalmers

"When I'd imagined seeing an uprising against the government in my lifetime, I
never predicted it would be on behalf of the least disenfranchised man in the
world.  That civilians would put their bodies and liberty on the line, not to
speak truth to power, but to aggregate more power where power already was.  I
never pictured a coup for the 'oppressed' that members would take private jets
to attend."
    --Micaiah Johnson

"From time to time, new generations of Americans will be tested anew.  Women
in this country know they have struggled too hard and for too long to become
second class citizens again.  LGBTQ+ people understand this, too, and we
aren't to be trifled with.  And racial minorities know that putting a racist
back in the White House will open the doors to new horrors and turn back the
clock on civil rights, perhaps for decades.  Ain't gonna happen, not on our
watch."
    --George Takei

"''It's not like I'm tooting,'' Case heard someone say, as he shouldered his
way through the crowd around the door of the Cat.  ''It's like my body's
developed this massive meme deficiency.''  It was a Fediverse voice and a
Fediverse joke.  The Catsubo was an instance for professional shitposters; you
could lurk there for a week and never see two words of discourse."
    --DJ Sundog

"This is how dictators destroy free nations.  They threaten those who speak
against them with death.  We cannot entrust our country and our freedom to a
petty, vindictive, cruel, unstable man who wants to be a tyrant."
    --Liz Cheney

"Never underestimate the efficacy of lithobraking.  If you don't care what
happens you can always match speed with a planet."
    --Mark T. Tomczak

"One of the perverse incentives of the ad-supported web is that for every
product or service that may solve your problem, there is at least one idea,
skill, recipe, approach, tradition, workaround, or hack which almost every
commercial source of information is incentivized to not only ignore, but
actively suppress."
    --josef

The human mind is a stationary target.

"Square footage, man.  It's diabolical."
    --Adam Savage

"IT'S NOT A BONG YOU FUCKING HIPPIES ITS A SUCK-O-METER JESUS CHRIST"
    --Derek C.F. Pegritz

"An old narcissist is a dangerous pessimist."
    --Marathon Rabbit

"I was very young when someone called me 'Sinner'.  I got curious because in
our language there is no such word, so I decided to ask my grandfather about
it.  He said, 'There is no such thing, our consciousness does not recognize
this kind of words beccause it was made to manipulate and put guilt in our
hearts.  There are no sins; what we have is choices and sometimes we make
mistakes.  Fear is waht people use to take away your freedom.  Do not allow
anybody to do this to you again, grandson."
    --Gianna Crow

"We build our computers the way we build our cities - over time, without a
plan, on top of ruins."
    --Ellen Ulmank

"If you understood everything I said, you'd be me."
    --Miles Davis

"One idiot is one idiot.  Two idiots are two idiots.  Ten thousand idiots are
a political party."
    --Franz Kafka

"The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists.
That is why they invented Hell."
    --Bertrand Russell

"'The past was a golden age and nothing in this corrupt age of Iron can match
the Ancient Masters' is a meme that's been circulating for at least as long as
we have records of thoughts more complex than a beer recipe, and it's never
been true."
    --Munin

"The world is full of darkness that, if you stare at for too long, you will
become blind to all that is bright."
    --Inspirational Skeletor

"Western cultures believe we must be alive for a purpose.  To work, to make
money.  Some indiginous cultures believe we're alive just as nature is alive:
To be here, to be beautiful and strange.  We don't need to achieve anything
to be valid in our humanness."
    --@melatoninlau

"America, where the choice between a woman of color and a super racist white
guy is 'a razor thin margin.'"
    --Eldritch Cumslut of Cthulhu

"Authors are expected to hate their book covers.  Every time - it's normal.
But if the author's literary agent complains, it's time to pay attention!"
    --Charles Stross

"You will never be able to experience everything.  So, please, do poetical
justice to your soul and simply experience yourself." 
    --Albert Camus

"We feel obligated to tell people the truth about things, but we live in an
age where lying to the world in general is something approaching a moral
imperative.  Being known means violence.  It's a kind of civic duty to keep
the good shit you know about shielded from legibility."
    --Brennen

"History keeps her secrets longer than most of us.  But she has one secret
that I will reveal to you tonight in the greatest confidence.  Sometimes there
are no winners at all.  And sometimes nobody needs to lose."
    --John le Carre

"The underlying purpose of AI is to allow wealth to access skill while removing
from the skilled the ability to access wealth."
    --Church of Jeff

"I mean, Putin is a bad guy, but, like, a lot of people are bad guys.  I mean,
he's pragmatic."
    --Joe Kent, former Green Beret

"It is no longer a theoretical challenge.  It is now a technological challenge."
    --Dr. Hal Puthoff

"One gratifying aspect of our rise to some prominence is that, for the first
time in my memory, we, 'our side,' had captured a crucial word from the enemy
- 'Libertarians' - had long been simply a polite word for left-wing anarchists,
that is for anti-private property anarchists, either of the communist or
syndicalist variety.  But now we had taken it over."
    --Murray Rothbard

"When I got to Harvard I found a lot of people like him [JD Vance], who would
say whatever they needed to to get ahead."
    --Pete Buttigieg

"You guys spent the last 20 years telling everyone that angry antisocial
teenagers going on shooting sprees was just the price of freedom, not sure why
you're upset?  It worked!  Nobody cares anymore."
    --Krang T. Nelson

"The key to understanding the pace of today's infrastructure buildout is to
recognize that while AI optimism is certainly a driver of AI CapEx, it is not
the only one.  The cloud players exist in a ruthless oligopoly with intense
competition."
    --David Cahn

"By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I've
likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring."
    --William Ader

"Microsoft's greatest contribution to the computer industry has been to
convince people that computer errors are just 'glitches': A force of nature
that we just have to put up with and cannot do anything about."
    --Martin Ward

"'Left' and 'right' mean the same thing today that they've meant since the
French Revolution.  Ask someone, ''What's more important: Property rights, or
human rights?''  If they answer: 'Property rights are human rights,' they are
on the right.''
    --Steven Brust

"But when we've got someone like Vance spouting deeply antisocial and bizarre
ideas that are way outside the realm of normal political discourse, the most
effective response is often a simple, 'What the hell?'"
    --Rebecca Jennings

"The unwillingness of some people to believe that literally anything remotely
interesting happens in other people's lives is truly astounding."
    --chaotic-carnifex

"The cat does not negotiate.  Offerings are accepted with indifference or
rejected with violence."
    --Wenuwayker

"Maybe my message - that empathy builds the person who succeeds in
cybersecurity - should be shared.  Because it helped create my success.
Victims are victims, not the failed players of an abstract game.  We must play
it, but also must recognize the person.  Do not become inured to human cost.
Not only those with the money to pay."
    --Swift On Security

"3D printer, noun.  A device for turning strands of thermoplastic filament into
non-recylable scrap.  See also: Money pit.  I would quite like to fire mine
into the sun; however, I suspect that, 70% of the way to its destination, the
nozzle would clog and it would just sit there in a Lagrange point juddering
noisily."
    --Tryst

"The word 'quantum' sucks people's brains out, and otherwise sensible people
suffer from impaired reasoning."
    --Jon Callas

"One day, when it's safe, when there's no personal downside to calling a thing
what it is, when it's too late to hold anyone accountable, everyone will have
always been against this."
    --Omar el Akkad

"Reddit is not typically known for being a space of enlightenment and
compassion but rather for trolls and overzealous moderators."
    --PonyEnglish

"TFW you sound really radical but you're just an ordinary moderately well-read
person with a decent education and common sense watching late-stage capitalism
and geopolitics hurtle 99% of humanity towards destruction."
    --Lesley Carhart

"You're all mocking that crying boxer but you have no idea how traumatizing it
is for a cop to fight someone who's allowed to hit back."
    --sanctimonious abbey cat

"The truth has no defense against a fool determined to believe a lie."
    --Mark Twain

"Evil people enjoy being portrayed as villains, but they detest being made out
to look like fools."
    --Mel Brooks

"The Grand Canyon is a minor crevice compared to the vast chasm of ignorance
of that man."
    --Alex Salmond, former First Minister of Scotland, on Donald Trump

"The difference between ignorant and educated people is that the latter know
more facts.  But that has nothing to do with whether they are stupid or
intelligent.  The difference between stupid and intelligent people - and this
is true whether or not they are well-educated - is that intelligent people can
handle subtlety.  They are not baffled by ambiguous or even contradictory
situations - in fact, they expect them and are apt to become suspicious when
things seem overly straightforward."
    --Constable Moore, _The Diamond Age_

"I'm not joking when I tell you that multiple men have asked me, a cís woman,
if I'm trans because I'm strong.  This was always the end game for transphobes,
to define a dated and oppressive definition of womanhood."
    --Dr. Heidy Khlaaf

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies,
in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who
are cold and are not clothed."
    --Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Obviously, she's not a white person, but I love Usha, she's such a good mom."
    -J.D. Vance

"US federal electoral politics is like the Olympics.  Every four years the
most corrupt organizations on earth spend billions of dollars of other people's
money to compete at influencing the 150,000 people in like five states in the
country who are disengaged enough that they can look at the two options
presented with and genuinely be like 'idk, man.'"
    --Chrisshy Keygen

"I'd put a stake through her heart and garlic 'round her neck to make sure she
never comes back."
    --Cathy Rutherford (RIP), on Margaret Thatcher

"Do you think *Americans* have a worldwide reputation for being well-informed
in general?"
    --Erkhyan

"What if the possibility of some future revolution is the new opiate of the
masses?"
    --Enno T. Boland

"I don't get why 'cat lady' is an insult to women.  My dude, you got this
backward: Welcome to the modern era.  We have careers, money, we buy our own
houses and cars, and we have easy access to a selection of vibrators our
ancestresses *could only dream of*.  Companionship is great and everything,
but as many of us discovered it comes in many forms.  If a woman has a cat but
you don't see a guy, that's usually because she did the math and overall, men
scored lower than a furry animal that shits in a box and a Hitachi."
    --seperis

"Sir this crazy theory thread, not business class.  Microsoft has been doing
this for decades."
    --Big Driver

"These people just survived the apocalypse, Scanlan.  They don't need your
gonorrhea."
    --Vax'ildan, _The Legend of Vox Machina_

"Unless you are also working for a national intelligence agency, being able to
survive the Mossad getting mad at you should not be on your threat list, just
like you shouldn't worry too hard about what to do to secure your servers if
an enemy agent attacks the datacenter with cruise missiles.  Some things are
just outside your ability to reasonably defend against!"
    --Foone

"When I see integration pipelines, vast kubernetes clusters, reliance on 10+
cloud services and remote APIs, web based password managers etc, I say to
myself that security incidents will happen and that it is just a matter of
time.  No single employee of the company has a complete view of the
connections, interactions and dependencies.  Those are spread over many
companies all over the world."
    --efc

"In terms of Imane Khalif having a 'biological advantage', let's discuss
Michael Phelps.  Phelps has: Double jointed elbows and knees, a hyperextended
thorax, and 50% less lactic acid production than the average compeditor.  And
yet, no one ever said he had a biological advantage."
    --Nick Dece

"People on the outside attribute malice too broadly to the entire network,
while people on the inside attribute malice too narrowly to a few individuals
or, at most, a few servers."
    --Leonora Tindall

"When the Killian Documents turned out to be fake, the argument against Bush
fell apart, regardless of the veracity of other evidence.  In short, one
highly visible forgery, shown to be a forgery, was enough to undermine the
larger body of evidence of a crime/cover-up."
    --Jamais Cascio

"When they call Tim Walz 'far left' they mean 'provided school children with
food.'"
    --Andrew Lawrence

"If a government project has a strangely innocent sounding name, it's probably
trying to hide the fact that it's enough to give you nightmares."
    --The Infographics Show

"I have no idea how accurate all this avuncular Walz fan fiction is, I know
people are just goofing around, but from an anthropological perspective it
shows how much this country has been starved for a hint of kindness from our
leaders."
    --Cate Bridget

"I quite enjoy old hardware myself, but in the year 2024 when emulation is by
far the most practical and accessible way to enjoy retro games, a physical-only
release is borderline insulting.  Combine this with deliberate artificial
scarcity and I see no reason to support such a release personally."
    --Natalie

"That means Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space."
    --Gunnery Chief, _Mass Effect_

"Moral purism can lead to inaction on the left for a lot of reasons.  Being
guided by moral beliefs - instead of bigotry or greed - can be tricky since
morals don't like to compromise.  There were over 150 million people who voted
in the 2020 elections, and the chance that two candidates could represent the
exact worldview and positions on all relevant issues of more than a handful of
those tens of millions of people is vanishingly small.  Almost everyone is
going to have to compromise; it's just an issue of numbers."
    --Alex Bollinger

"Obviously, securing a building in such a way has no value.  Security does not
derive value from implementing impenetrable boundaries or making things
impossible.  The value is in enforcing a desired, nonempty, set of
circumstances under which boundaries can be crossed and under which actions
are possible."
    --Ray Dillinger

"There's also a tendency for protocol designers/standards committees to design
mechanisms to try and address every imaginary issue everyone on the standards
committee could ever dream up, including a great many that don't actually
exist.  IPsec and anything PKIX did are extreme examples of this, leading to
designs that were severely compromised because, apart from their unmanageable
complexity, they ended up with the flexibility of rubber swords and styrofoam
screwdrivers, losing a lot of utility in exchange for theoretical properties
that didn't matter."
    --Peter Gutmann

"Art is not a commodity, Art should be an explosive substance that changes the
world."
    --Alan Moore

"Sometimes I wish I had normal computer problems instead of ''What's the
latest version of Python I can run on NT4?''"
    --Foone

"Someone said something to the effect of '80% of Conservative outrage is just
someone finding out how stuff works for the first time.'"
    --@Ondine_MD

"A despot doesn't fear eloquent writers preaching freedom - he fears a drunken
poet who may crack a joke that will take hold."
    --E.B. White

"IMO this issue is existential for HN.  We've spent years and so much energy
trying to find a balance between openness and human decency, a task which
oscillates between barely-possible and simply-doomed, so the idea that anybody
anywhere sees anything labeled 'Hacker News' that pours all the toxic waste
back into the ecosystem is physically painful to me."
    --dang

"One of the worst things about the computer industry is the insistence that no
problem being encountered now has ever been found and solved before and that
newer must be better."
    --Wendy M. Grossman

"We want policymakers and press to fear us."
    --Drew Herdener, communications executive, Amazon

"So, what I'm hearing is that this was more of an after-thought process."
    --Accidental CISO

"If we don't know what they are, why should we worry about them?"
    --Frank Kendall III, Secretary of the Air Force

"If there is one thing in life I have learned it's that the purpose of a
museum is not to preserve history.  The purpose of a museum is to destroy
history.  Throughout history, from the Library of Alexandria to the museums of
kings to the Middle Ages, people would pile all of their art, culture, and
works into nice compact buildings.  Then when the ignorant mobs come they have
a single place to torch to remove the heresy and treason counter to the
current beliefs.  And it's all gone."
    --CZ

"How sad it must be, believing that scientists, scholars, historians,
economists, and journalists have devoted their entire lives to deceiving you,
while a reality TV star with decades of fraud and exhaustively documented
lying is your own beacon of truth and honesty."
    --Unknown

"I don't want the most lethal fighting force in the world, I want to go to the
doctor."
    --Jeremy Flood

"I refuse to discuss the subject further.  My opinion will not change.  If you
continue to annoy me I will kill you.  This discussion is over."
    --Morrowind

"Washington Post reporter Christian Davenport [wrote] an article today about
NASA's large outsourcing of its future missions to companies owned by the
likes of Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos.  This leaves NASA as a contractor rather
than a mission building federal agency.  No Congressional hearings, no media
investigations, and no protest by the scientific or technological community.
Corporate government takes another giant step into the burgeoning corporate
state."
    --Ralph Nader

"Switching between half a dozen favorite themes is, like, the ultimate ADHD
hack to make interacting with it keep feeling fresh, at least for me.  I
figure, some days you're Ironman; some days you're Maxwell Smart.  Gotta dress
the part."
    --Feonixrift

"I have one consistency, which is being against the totalitarian - on the left
and on the right."
    --Christopher Hitchens

"All of _The Prophecy_ films are written by the same guy, Joel Soisson.  It's
only now that I see some of the other things he's done, such as _Highlander:
Endgame_ and _Hellraiser: Inferno_.  Dig further, and you find he also wrote
_Highlander: The Source_.  A film so bad that even he used a pseudonym."
    --Socketwench

"Some people just don't know how to ask questions of themselves before
demanding answers of others."
    --Rachel Rawlings

"They go low, we sucker punch them, hip-toss them, and keep on walking."
    --The Gibson

"Heroism is something to be subjected to root cause analysis for why it was
necessary, not something to be encouraged, and I think we in the field would
all be a lot less exhausted from firefighting if we could get folks to
acknowledge this."
    --Munin

"What's important about object-oriented programming is the techniques, not the
languages used."
    --Richard E. Gooch

"I love the X-Men so much because that's just what leftist infighting is like!
That's literally all it is!  Xavier is a sellout and they all hate him but
he's the only one with any money.  Everyone complains about ''they keep
switching sides and dating each other it's so fucking confusing.''  Like, my
dudes, have you never been a part of any socialist organisation, ever?  Then
people will go 'Magneto is so strong how has he not killed a bunch of
teenagers??'  HE DOESN'T WANT TO KILL THEM!  This started in a goddam basement
over coffee, he does not want to hurt them, he just wants them to shut up and
listen and will fling cars to do so."
    --Sliced Black Olives

"I keep reading that film studios are contemplating replacing writers and
actors byusing artificial intelligence to mimic their talents.  Surely it
would be easier and more efficient to replace executives, since they have no
talent at all."
    --John Cleese

"ONLY THOSE WHO ATTEMPT THE IMPOSSIBLE WILL ACHIEVE THE ABSURD"
    --Oceania Association of Autonomous Astronauts

"I have learned that no good can ever come from starting a discussion of
politics, religion, or the Great Pumpkin."
    --Linus, _Peanuts_

"OS/2: An operating system so good that it took IBM seven years to destroy it."
    --Dennis E. Powell

"I think when he [Musk] says he wants to be a 'free speech absolutist' he means
that only he can determine which speech should be free and which should be
constrained.  I just looked up 'absolutist' to be sure and the first entry in
my dictionary is 'one who is in favor of absolute or autocratic government.'
This TRACKS."
    --2xfo

"The Steering Council needs to get a grip.  When the wink emoji becomes a
prelude to pyschic harm and a measure of your own paranoia instead of a
signature device used by one of your most valuable and legendary contributors,
you're in for some tough times."
    --Chris McDonough

"The Snowden documents, more than anything, showed the brutal truth of today:
If a type of data collection is technically possible, then it is taking place
right now.  That's all that matters.  If it is technically doable.  Not
whether you have given permission, because of course you haven't, and never
would, so various constructs are made to circumvent asking for your permission.
If you carry a sensor, an electronic sensor of any kind, then you must assume
it to be active at all times.  In particular, you can never trust someone's
promise that it won't be."
    --Rick Falkvinge

"I buy expensive suits.  They just look cheap on me."
    --Warren Buffett

"Even when imagining a dystopia, Star Trek somehow still manages to come up
with something that is better than our actual lived reality."
  --jwz, on Bell Riots Day

"If you have a lot of money, there are no consequences."
    --Tim Redmond

"Government disclosure is a complete waste of time."
    --Ross Coulthart

"You will only perceive your tools when they are broken."
    --B, _The Book of Elsewhere_

"Lacking any form of moral compass, all territories are uncharted."
    --J$

"I make my own fun.  Like today.  I'm sitting on the couch.  My dog's licking
himself.  I'm touching myself.  We catch each other's eyes, we both start
laughing."
    --Dave Attell

"Remember to judge all politicians with the same charitable interpretation
that overzealous prosecutors gave to Aaron Swartz."
    --paconinja

"I grew up believing that music could change the world.  I don't have that
misconception any more.  I think pop culture is the herbs and spices in the
dish; the main nutrition is provided by the engineers of the world and the
nurses and the people who do the proper jobs.  All we do is provide a bit of
the flavour." 
    --Matt Johnson, The The

"When your Soviet tech's the reliable part of your stack, good luck."
    --Mike

"You can tell what a deeply subversive idea this is because in our culture it
reads as silly."
    --James Endres Howell

"A virus is simply a piece of bad news wrapped up in protein."
    --Sir Peter Medawar

"Yes, I know full well my workspace looks like a Columbian drug lab at times,
but in my defense you'd shudder at how dirty actual professional labs sometimes
get."
    --Nurdrage

"Thank you for reading a personal blog.  This post was written in a specific
time and place.  I reserve the right to learn new things and to change my mind.
This site has no traffic analytics, social trackers, or ads.  If you enjoyed
this post, please consider sharing it however you like to share posts."
    --Matt Hodges

"It's not too late - things can still be less worse."
    --Ann Kornbluh, _Immediacy, or the Style of Too Late Capitalism_

"Wow, a browser is making network connections, how dare it."
    --kaba0

"The monetary profit many authors earn from self-help (not only in book sales
but in banquet speaking and retreat leading) would seem to contrast with the
elusive benefit to the average consumer, since the reams of positive-thinking
and personal-empowerment literature have coincided with rising suicide rates,
epidemic drug addiction, a $15-billion-per-year psycho-emotional pharmaceutical
market, declining life expectancy, and exponentially expanding consumer,
household, medical, and education debt.  Appearing in ever more refined
genres, self-help is big business, a magically self-perpetuating commodity."
    --Anna Kornbluh, _Immediacy, Or, the Style of Too Late Capitalism_

"Stability isn't profitable.  Chaos is."
    --solder_on

"A paranoid has just as much right to be persecuted as anybody else."
    --Andrew J. Burris, _Supermind_

"Switching between half a dozen favorite themes is like the ultimate ADHD hack
to make interacting with it keep feeling fresh, at least for me.  I figure,
some days you're Ironman; some days you're Maxwell Smart.  Gotta dress the
part."
    --Feonixrift

"Can we please stop pretending to be shocked at the evangelical embrace of
totalitarianism?  Their entire worldview is 'Obey me or burn in hell.'  The
fuck did you think their politics were going to be?"
    --J. Warren Welch

"The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one."
    --Billy Connoly

"I was just thinking about how much I've always enjoyed weather talk and
thought it was unfair how folks maligned weather as small talk.  It's a tiny
slice of a snapshot of a system so huge it dwarfs our imaginations, and that
is the paper-thin layer protecting us from the rest of the universe.  Small
talk my ass."
    --Random Geek

"The news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and
public relations firm for the ruling class - the people who run things.  Those
who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated
purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power.  If the parent
corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news.
Period.  Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then
rarely followed up."
    --George Carlin

"The Web is the people who use it, not the companies who built businesses
around it."
    --Molly White

"Gender affirming care is so cut and dry.  If any antidepressant reduced
suicides by 73% it would be called a miracle."
    --@410fredo

"What happens when you get harassed is that it doesn't matter what you believe.
It doesn't matter what the jerks believe either because they're making shit up."
    --Kim Belair

"The stupidity of people comes from having an answer for everything.  The
wisdom of the novel comes from having a question for everything.  When Don
Quixote went out into the world, that world turned into a mystery before his
eyes.  That is the legacy of the first European novel to the entire subsequent
history of the novel.  The novelist teaches the reader to comprehend the world
as a question.  There is wisdom and tolerance in that attitude.  In a world
built on sacrosanct certainties the novel is dead.  The totalitarian world is
a world of answers rather than questions.  There, the novel has no place."
    -eMilan Kundera, _The Book of Laughter and Forgetting_

"Good mental health is when you believe in maintaining the status quo and bad
mental illness is is when you're upset about the crushing weight of the evils
we create and excuse every single day."
    --A Wild Max Disappears!

"Every actor has to make terrible films from time to time, but the trick is
never to be terrible in them."
    --Christopher Lee

"I just rewatched _T2_.  The most unrealistic part of the film wasn't the time
travel or the robots, it was the tech executive who isn't a narcissist and is
willling to give up personal riches when he learns that trying to profit off
self-aware AI will destroy the entire world."
    --David Sirota

"If you think a real life problem is what people ship just wait until you
experience actual real life.  Frankly, I feel for these kids and the adults
that never mature as they should because they're chronically online and don't
prepare themselves for real life despite ALL the resources now more available
than ever.  It's not just about touching grass - it's making the effort to
learn.  You sure are wasting your naive years stressing yourself out combing
the Internet to find The Baddies according to your equally naive moral code.
You will miss those easier years and all the fun things you could have been
pursuing instead when adulthood rolls up."
    --cosplaykinky

"If it's big enough to be seen with the naked eye then it's big enough to be
a security hole."
    --Ron Garret

"Having worked at Microsoft for almost a decade, I remember chatting with their
security people plenty after meetings.  One interesting thing I learned is that
Microsoft (and all the other top tech companies presumably) are under constant
Advanced Persistent Threat from state actors.  From literal secret agents
getting jobs and working undercover for a decade+ to obtain seniority, to
physical penetration attempts (some buildings on MS campus used to have armed
security, before Cloud server farms were a thing).  Although the best
Government vs Business story I heard was during intern orientation at Boeing
about French agents breaking into Boeing employee's hotel rooms during a
conference in France while the employees were out to dinner, and going through
laptops.  One of the employees returned earlier than expected, and the men in
suits shut the laptop, turned around and walked out of the room w/o saying
anything!"
    --com2kid

"The methods of the great pioneers have often puzzled conventional minds."
    --Ernst Stavro Blofeld

"Advanced programming techniques don't help until they can actually
successfully think about the problem."
    --Grumpy Ol' Fred

"Creating more categories simply creates more edge cases."
    --Angler Jared

"Star Trek is what the world will look like if the woke win.  That may sound
like a compliment to those who haven't stopped to think about what living in
such a world would actually be like."
    --Jen Gerson

"People who don't mind being called weird are 'good weird'.  People who get
mad when they're called weird are 'bad weird'."
    --Sean Thomason

"The best way to perceive an error in a manuscript is to change the form."
    --Michael W. Lucas

"You can cite the Deep Magic to me if you want.  I was there when it was
written but I like hearing it from someone else's perspective.  It's pretty
cool that you're a witch, too."
    --nasser

"Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion
against injustice and lying and greed."
    --William Faulkner

"Typing fast like Repetitive Strain Injury the Hedgehog."
    --J.B. Crawford

"Everybody's an expert.  Why can't he just wait 'till she picks a running mate,
then be an ally?  Why does everyone need to be 'relevant'?"
    --lolonurse

"If you think that the Black woman got there because of her race and ethnicity,
but the billionaire white guy with multiple bankruptcies who got $200 million
from his old man pulled himself up by his bootstraps, you might be an idiot."
    --Kelly Scaletta

"All computer science curricula are missing one crucial topic: How to deal
with private equity and management takeover."
    --Carbonated Estrogen

"There are, of course, many people quietly doing good work.  But there's also
guys - yes, they're guys - playing with their threat actor Transformers,
thinking they're in a holy war to stop Russia and China, and that only they
- the chosen few - know what is best for their customers and that they're the
elite of the elite cyber warriors.  People have drunk their own marketing
Kool-Aid.  A reality check is being in an airport on July 19th, or talking to
anybody outside the industry - nobody cares."
    --Kevin Beaumont

"Y'all are showing up to a gun fight with nothing more than deeply held
principles."
    --Quinn Norton

"It's always great when the CIA helps you out."
    --Eric Schmidt, founder, Google

"Progress must not be questioned, and those who highlight its ill effects must
be dealt with.  Decisively."
    --The Honest Sorcerer

"If you have a problem with the student loan cancellation because you already
paid off your loans, just pretend it's a tax cut for the rich that you also
never got but mysteriously didn't complain about."
    --Unknown

"If your 'open source software' requires a datacenter-scale strata and is
optimized for, or maybe only meaningful to, datacenter-scale problems, is not
open source in any way that matters.  'Free as in corporate risk management'
and 'free as in labor arbitrage' are not aspirations."
    --mhoye

"That which does not kill us can still hurt very very much."
    --Chris Vreeland

"When working for psychopaths, treat them as they would treat you: Always leave
a betrayal option open."
    --Woozle Hypertwin

"Everyone always thinks to thank Captain Obvious but never First Officer
Nuance."
    --Leen McBeans

"I, in contrast, left academia in a huff (industry funding came with, shall we
say, certain a priori preferences concerning the sort of results we'd be
reporting) and became a science fiction writer.  It's a position from which,
ironically, I've had more influence on actual scientists than I ever did as an
academic - admittedly a low bar to clear."
    --Peter Watts

"Any belief that transparently fucked up must have started from a good idea
repeatedly uncritically ad absurdum."
    --Elroy Craich

"Being able to block certain information was of course useful to governments,
democratic or not.  The IP infrastructure was a natural synergy: If a protest
movement began using a certain meme or symbol, just file a spurious
infringement complaint and get it blocked everywhere.  Much more seamless than
direct takedown notices or using the anti-paedophilia infrastructure since
people were used to seeing information blocked for IP reasons every day.  Sure,
humans are innovative and will quickly invent new codes.  But it could stop
riots from reaching the percolation threshold, prevent memes from reaching
consensus, hide embarrassing facts, and the system gave you surveillance for
free."
    --Anders Sandberg, _Scunthorpe_

"I don't think you should have any empathy."
    --Stella O'Malley

"They're called HR Departments because they provide Harm Reduction for
corporations.  You're the harm they're mitigating.  Good luck."
    --Shannon Prickett

"Why the hell are you mad at immigrants seeking a better life, and not the
tiny percentage of greedy fucks hoarding the world's resources while we fight
amongst ourselves for crumbs?"
    --Marsha Warfield

"The Internet is great because sometimes you are seeking an answer to a simple
question and all you can find is a thread of someone getting chewed out for
not more thoroughly reading a tutorial that doesn't exist anymore."
    --ticky

"It's pretty crazy, how there's an entire profession we have to make wear body
cameras because they lie so much."
    --@missmayn

"Sometimes success is 3% brains and 97% not getting distracted by the Internet."
    --Shane Parrish

"When Nazis are on the fringe, you have to really work to be a Nazi - you
gotta get out the arm bands and tiki torches and flags and strut around
protected by whatever cops couldn't get the day off to join you - the same row
of cops who'll someday be beating up anyone who protests you - but once Nazis
are in the state capitols and the national government and the high courts, all
you need to do in order to be a Nazi is just be willing to go along, and it
turns out most people are willing to go along with whatever.  And after a
while, it's just the air you breathe and the water you swim in, and it takes
effort to not be a Nazi.  And who likes effort?  Fascists know this, by the
way.  They always do.  They're always looking for ways to move out the margins
of permission when it comes to harming and controlling people, to make normal
today what wasn't normal yesterday."
    --A.R. Moxon

"The illusions of limitless progress and prosperity have generated a mindset
in which outcomes no longer matter, as progress and prosperity are forces of
Nature that can't be stopped, so we can luxuriate in Process - completing
forms and compliance documents, submitting reports to other offices, holding
endless meetings to discuss our glacial 'progress', mandating more Process,
elevating managers who excel at Process - with the net result that building
permits that were once issued in a few days now take months, bridges take
decades to build, and incompetence reigns supreme.  The managerial class has
been rewarded and advanced not for generating timely, on-budget, high-quality
outcomes, but for managing Process and Narrative Control: Everything's going
great, and if it isn't, the fault lies elsewhere.  The net result of this
structure is that the competent either quit in disgust or or assigned to
Siberia, while the incompetent are elevated to the highest levels of corporate
and public-sector management."
    --Charles Hugh Smith

"One of the reasons everything sucks so much in the current year is that
activism has been replaced by a simulacra of activism that is engineered
solely to get social media engagement for the poster."
    --lineasdedeseo

"Were you ever a kid?"
"No."
    --Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman

"In this situation, Claw Lord Xal, you don't need a scalpel: You need a
hammer.  We don't need to reach out and touch one person.  We need weapons
that we can point at an entire stampeding infantry charge and ask 'Will It
Blend?'"
    --EV-187, on the humble minigun

"Governments may think and say as they like, but force cannot be eliminated,
and it is the only real and unanswerable power.  We are told that the pen is
mightier than the sword, but I know which of these weapons I would choose."
    --Lieutenant-General Sir Adrian Carton de Wiart

"I just left Google last month.  The 'AI Projects' I was working on were
poorly motivated and driven by this panic that as long as it had 'AI' in it,
it would be great.  This myopia is NOT something driven by a user need.  It is
a stone cold panic that they are getting left behind.  The vision is that
there will be a Tony Stark-like JARVIS assistant in your phone that locks you
into their ecosystem so hard that you'll never leave.  That vision is pure
catnip.  The fear is that they can't afford to let someone else get there
first."
    --Scott Jenson

"The peace activists are war activists.  WE are the peace activists."
    --Alex Karp, CEO, Palantir

"Young voters do not look at our politics and see any good guys.  They see a
dying empire led by bad people."
    --Evan Roth Smith

"I cannot be fazed by being condescended to by old white men in legislative
meetings.  I have worked many years in infosec and I am dead inside."
    --evacide

"Be not astonished at new ideas; for it is well known to you that a thing does
not therefore cease to be true because it is not accepted by many."
    --Baruch Spinoza

"I think when the USA collapses, the process will look a lot less like Rome
and more like what happened with Blockbuster Video."
    --Josef

"I'm not willing to forego having nice things just because people I loathe
might also like them."
    --kstrauser

"Privilege is existing in the void between fucking around and finding out."
    --Shrig

"We produced too much oil and competed with OPEC."
    --Scott Sheffield, co-founder of Pioneer Natural Resources Co.

"You know what Silicon Valley VCs and NIMBYs don't want to see?  White trash
in clown makeup, covered in budget soda screaming 'Whoop Whoop!'"
    --Broke-Ass Stewart, jugglo

"This is how I feel about basically all technology nowadays, it's all so
artificially limited by capitalism.  Nothing fucking progresses unless someone
figures out a way to monetize it or an autistic furry decides to revolutionize
things in a weekend because they were bored and inventing god was almost
stimulating enough."
    --Swedneck

"I'll trust Microsoft's AI with anything even slightly nuanced just as soon as
Excel stops telling me the glass is January 2nd full."
    --Quinnypig

"Blanket platitudes are infuriating when they have no idea what's going on
inside."
    --anubis2841

"Things which are indisputable matters of public record are treated like the
most unhinged conspiracy theories about Area 51."
    --Beka Valentine

"We're so close to so many major advances that could make life excellent for
everyone.  We've found a way for adults to grow new teeth.  We've identified
the part of the brain that controls your immune system.  We've discovered
cures for diabetes, even some forms of cancer.  We're figuring out ways to
treat and even reverse some autoimmune disorders.  Major breakthroughs in
technology are cutting our workloads in half.  Every single time, the super
rich intervene.  They privatize these advances.  Their relentless thirst for
profits diminishes or ruins them for almost everyone.  They hoard the benefits
of these advances for themselves, and they sabotage any discovery that would
make the planet livable for billions of us.  Their greed has left everyone,
including them, on an overheating planet, surrounded by death and disease."
  --Jessica Wildfire

"Another student, from Uruguay, who spent his second summer in a row practicing
case studies in preparation for management consulting internship interviews,
told me that everyone arrived on campus hoping to change the world.  But what
they learn at Harvard, he said, is that actually doing anything meaningful is
too hard.  People give up on their dreams, he told me, and decide they might
as well make money."
    --Francesca Mari

"Imagine a faith so false that you think bringing prayer into schools is
following Jesus, but giving them lunch is not."
    --Deacon Blues

"This pantomime where Google pretends to care about your welfare would be
hilarious if it wasn't so sad, but here we are anyway."
    --jwz

"Technically correct, but unnecessarily detailed for the topic at hand."
    --akruppa

"I have children around that age, and if some maniac who fashioned himself a
community protector decided to murder them for some self-created reason, and
they cried for their mother as they died, and so on, I would mourn a child,
because of course I would, and so would you, I would presume, if you are still
somebody capable of empathy in a culture that seems to scorn empathy, in a
culture that so often looks at killing and explains to you why your distress
is dangerously wrong-minded, and why you ought to take the more realistic
view, which is to numb yourself to increasingly murderous cruelty."
    --A.R. Moxon

"First, they fascinate the fools. Then, they muzzle the intelligent."
    --Bertrand Russell

"It must be nice to be able to afford the time and money to have a healthy
lifestyle."
    --Tryst

"Everything looks like a conspiracy if you don't understand how anything works."
    --Matt Largey

"VGA is better than HDMI and such, because when HDMI breaks it just says 'no
signal', but when VGA breaks your whole screen just goes pee-colored."
    --Foone

"Stop acting like you're a waterbender making emotive shapes by expressing
your will in the medium of liquid bullshit."
    --Blake C. Stacey

"I like to pay taxes.  With them I buy civilization."
    --Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Those who build their lives around helping others and put others first will
often find themselves put last when they need help themselves, abandoned by
everyone, with no true solidarity given."
    --Matthew the Autistic Coach

"There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears
and the dumbest tourists."
    --Anonymous Yosemite National Park forest ranger

"And then some absolute son of a bitch created ChatGPT, and now look at us.
Look at us, resplendent in our pauper's robes, stitched from corpulent greed
and breathless credulity, spending half of the planet's engineering efforts to
add chatbot support to every application under the sun when half of the
industry hasn't worked out how to test database backups regularly."
    --Nikhil Suresh

"Don't go to clubs with metal detectors.  Sure you might feel safe inside, but
outside there hella people with guns.  And they know you ain't got one."
    --Chris Rock

"There is something very 2024 about 'wanting to train an AI model' (very
complicated) and not knowing how to get data off an optical disc (very simple)."
    --workspace28

"The money was phenomenal, but I nonetheless fled for the safer waters of data
and software engineering.  You see, while hype is nice, it's only nice in
small bursts for practitioners.  We have a few key things that a grifter does
not have, such as job stability, genuine friendships, and souls.  What we do
not have is the ability to trivially switch fields the moment the gold rush is
over, due to the sad fact that we actually need to study things and build
experience."
    --Nikhil Suresh

"You can warn your friend that he is being conned, and he will get angry at
you.  And when the whole thing comes crashing down and he loses his money, and
he can no longer deny that you were right, he will never forgive you.  He will
forgive the crook, but he will not forgive the people who warned him about the
crook.  The crook just took his money.  But you made him feel dumb."
    --David Frum

"Once in a while I remember what we used before Rick Astley and am reassured
that the world is not as terrible a place as it could be."
    --Phooky

"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry
about answers."
    --Thomas Pynchon

"One of the things this 'ai' blitz from companies has really put into
perspective is that they sure the fuck would rather pay an electricity bill
than a person."
    --Munin

"It's funny that we think of libraries as quiet, demure places where we are
shushed by dusty, bun-balancing, bespectacled women.  The truth is, libraries
are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy, and community.  Librarians
have stood up to the Patriot Act, sat down with noisy toddlers, and reached
out to illiterate adults.  Libraries can never be shushed."
    --Paula Poundstone

"Morality ain't algebra.  You can't treat identity like variables in a formula.
You have to really think things through and study outside perspectives."
    --Sam

"Guilty people are dangerous people, I've found.  If they know they fucked up,
they'll DARVO you before you can tell anyone.  Then you just sound silly if
you try to report them."
    --Rusty Bertrand

"A lobby is like a night flower: It thrives in the dark and dies in the sun."
    --Steven Rosen, on how things really work in DC

"We can cure just about every cancer in the world.  As long as you're a mouse."
    --wearymicrobe

"Here in Europe it doesn't look better.  In all countries you can choose
between the crazy, the stupid and the as-always."
    --drunkenpirate, on the 2024 Presidential Debate

"People were calculating these wonderful machines, and they turned them on and
they didn't work worth a damn."
    --Harold Furth, plasma physicist, on fusion research

"I do think the question of whether Macron is a democrat or a fascist miss the
fact that he himself has expressed being kind of a royalist.  He just believes
some people are born to rule, and if the ruled don't cooperate, they're
fighting the natural order.  When people tell you who they are, etc etc.  If
France is failing it's because you haven't been a good citizenry.  And he'll
let you hang out to dry to learn your lesson."
    --Quinn Norton

"The first API is ''Fuck you, I'm doing it anyway.''  Any additional API the
program provides is merely a helpful shortcut.  My overall thesis is, I guess,
that programmers need to remember they can say 'fuck you' to software more
often."
    --Foone

"Under the majority's reasoning, when the president uses his official powers
in any way, he now will be insulated from criminal prosecution.  Orders SEAL
Team 6 to assassinate a political rival?  Immune.  Organizes a military coup
to hold onto power?  Immune.  Takes a bribe in exchange for a pardon?  Immune,
immune, immune.  Let the President violate the law, let him exploit the
trappings of his office for personal gain, let him use his official power for
evil ends.  The President is now a king above the law.. that is the majority's
message today!"
    --Chief Justice Sonia Sotomayor, US Supreme Court, on the ruling that now
      prevents US Presidents from being prosecuted

"Notability should not be a function of SEO."
    --HunterZ

"Satire requires a clarity of purpose and target lest it be mistaken by the
dumbest motherfuckers on the Internet as a writing prompt for the most
condescending lecture you've ever read."
    --Tailsteak

"I can get all kinds of bad reviews and still cut myself a 30-second television
spot that makes it look like I got good reviews... 'Splendid,' 'Magnificent,'
whatever.  We are a sound bite culture.  You just take the sound bite.  If
they didn't say it exactly the way you want, you just take the part of what
they said that you do want... and if they don't say what you want, you just
make it up yourself anyway."
    --Terry Press, head of marketing, DreamWorks

"We are investing in corruption, Mr. Roper.  The business of corruption is
like any other."
    --Han, _Enter the Dragon_

"Hey, friends.  Greetings from the Mistigris founder and chief administrator.
We enjoy the feather in our cap that a Wikipedia article confers upon our
organization, but I see despite our longevity our article is again on
uncertain footing.  If there are specific issues with the article I'd love to
help fix them; if instead the contention is that we are inadequately notable
then, alas, I'm not sure anything can be done for us.  Tens of thousands of
artworks exhibited by hundreds of artists for nearly 30 years... all these
moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.  I could point to references
to us in video documentaries but if you want print acknowledgements we're
likely out of luck."
    --Pseudo Intellectual of Mistigris

"When the president does it, that means it is not illegal."
    --Richard Nixon

"Connecting people on both sides of a potentially mutually beneficial business
transaction is called being part of society and not a burden, nor something I
hope to personally extract value from."
    --Soatok

"There are only two kinds of languages: The ones people complain about, and
the ones nobody uses."
    --Bjarne Stroustrup

"Is there anything governments do that says ''You should ignore all of our
problems because we're doing just super and everything is great!'' more
obviously than hosting the Olympics?"
    --Kali Wallace

"It's all fun and games until Miss Piggy tries to fight you in the studio
parking lot for 'stealing her man.'"
    --Lynda Carter, on guest starring on _The Muppet Show_

"The status quo has already reached its limits and reform on any scale beyond
the usual incremental policy tweaks is impossible, and it no longer matters
who's nominally in charge, if rulers are competent, officials are honest or
corrupt, or thinkers are radicals or conservatives - the system is beset by
forces it fostered but no longer controls, and indeed is incapable of
controlling due to the intrinsic limits of the system's core structures,
limits which were invisible during the Boost Phase of rapid expansion."
    --Charles Hugh Smith

"The Internet hosts a limitless supply of pornography, and you don't have to
resort to a dodgy, unsolicited link from a Firstname Bunchanumbers account to
get your fix."
    --Miles Klee

"'Once men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would
set them free.  But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave
them.'  This has gone from being a prescient warning to a genuine political
and mental health crisis."
    --AnotherGarbageUser

"The scientists are warning you, all the time, when we say I can't answer that
and stuff is hard and it's complicated and no thanks to that media interview
and we drag ourselves out of our labs to ruefully try to put years of work
into words knowing it's a coin flip if anyone passes them on accurately.
We're warning you when we quit, just like anybody else in any other job; we're
warning you when we stop teaching or are too tired or too scared to teach
anymore; we're warning you when we can't get jobs to do the work that would
answer the questions you keep asking, because you don't want to pay for it."
    --Dr. Cat Hicks

"I think every good revolution needs one old guy who has decided to not give
any fucks anymore."
    --Hasufin

"I choose to believe that we unwittingly sent a completely unprompted
intergalactic donkey punch to the Canis Galaxy.  If I'm wrong, I'm wrong and
will both willingly and gladly accept that, as that is how one learns.
However, even then, it's completely worth the giggles!"
    --Talendel, on Operation Plumbob (look it up!)

"When someone doesn't want to believe something, they do a few predictable
things.  First, they demand huge amounts of evidence.  Then they reject that
evidence because ''it's not good enough.''  When they do want to believe
something, they do the exact opposite.  They don't ask for evidence.  They
accept assertions at face value.  Do you know what that's called?  It's called
disconfirmation bias.  Sometimes, it doesn't even matter if you show someone
overwhelming evidence.  That can backfire.  In 1975, a psychologist debunked
Jesus for 50 high school girls.  They believed the evidence, but it didn't
matter.  Their faith actually got stronger, not weaker.  A few decades later,
researchers did something similar with Trump supporters.  Even when they
agreed that Trump had 'the morals of an alley cat,' they cared more about what
his opponents had done wrong.  That's where they focused their attention."
    --Jessica Wildfire

"The sad fact is that many books are not fact-checked at all.  In most
publishing contracts, it's the responsibility of the author rather than the
publisher to make sure the facts are correct.  As you might imagine, some
authors try harder than others.  (Publishers will say that they simply don't
have the money to pay for fact checkers, which is a weak excuse in an era when
politicians of all stripes are consistently getting 6-and 7-figure book deals)."
    --Maris Kreizman

"In today's example of insidious internet propaganda, we have <checks notes>
encouragement to participate in democracy...?"
    --Smart-Adeptness5437

"Overcoming the incentive to dunk on users' behavior is an important element
in maturing your security understanding.  You have a set of levers to pull.
Human nature is not one of them.  Deal with that or be a righteous failure."
    --Swift On Security

"You can write your own IRC server in less time than it takes to read the
Discord privacy policy and terms of service."
    --Technomancy

"Learning how, after a Black girl won a spelling bee in 1908, they cancelled
spelling bees for 20 years reminds me how, after electing a Black president in
2008, conservatives are ready to completely chuck democracy if that's what it
takes to keep it from happening again."
    --Corey Richardson

"Capitalism is a fitness landscape that selects for sociopathy."
    --n8chz

"Sensible liberals are so afraid of the small possibility of unjust violence
directed at a member of the ruling class that they endorse the perpetuation of
a system guaranteed to inflict unjust violence on billions of people.  Another
word for this is 'decorum'."
    --Heavenly Possum

"How can we expect righteousness to prevail when there is hardly anyone
willing to give himself up individually to a righteous cause.  Such a fine,
sunny day, and I have to go, but what does my death matter, if through us,
thousands of people are awakened and stirred to action?"
    --Sophie Scholl, a student, executed by Nazis at age 21.

"Arts and humanities are so useless and pointless that techbros were driven to
spend billions of dollars to try and get a computer to do something that badly
approximates something arts and humanities students could do half asleep and
wired on coffee the night before the due date."
    --Matthew Dow Smith

"I strongly recommend wearing an N95 mask in any city whose economy is based
on attracting people who don't understand risk."
    --Matt Blaze, on Defcon

"Armaments, universal debt, and planned obsolescence - those are the three
pillars of Western prosperity."
    --Aldous Huxley

"The role of philosopher at present is not to be a theoretician of totality,
but the diagnostician of today."
    --Michel Foucault

"The universe doesn't care; only we can do that."
    --Kester Brewin

"Do not obey in advance.  Most of the power of authoritarianism is freely
given.  In times like these, individuals think ahead about what a more
repressive government will want, and then offer themselves without being
asked.  A citizen who adapts in this way is teaching power what it can do."
    --Timothy Snyder, _On Tyrrany_

"Like a capital sigma next to an ampersand, I have been summoned."
    --Paul Cantrell

"If Americans showed the same energy for civil disobedience about anything
else that they do when it comes to setting off fireworks against the laws of
city, state, courtesy, and self-preservation, we would have a three-day
workweek, robust national healthcare, and a twenty-year plan for solar-powered
luxury space communism."
    --Felicity Shoulders

"We are in the process of the second American Revolution, which will remain
bloodless if the left allows it to be."
    --Kevin Roberts, president, Heritage Foundation, warning everyone not on his
      side not to vote if they know what's good for them

"America has no chill.  America is exhausting.  America is incapable of
letting something be simply funny instead of a dread portent of their
apocalyptic present.  America is ruining the Internet.  America is the
Internet."
    --Patrick Marlborough

"You can go so fast you're not human anymore.  Slow down and be a person."
    --Rev. Xenofact

"The underlying purpose of AI is to allow wealth to access skill while
removing from the skilled the ability to access wealth."
    --The Church of Jeff

"The sky above the port was the color of an X11 session, showing its boot-up
stipple."
    --Ignacio

"Advocates of capitalism are very apt to appeal to the sacred principles of
liberty, which are embodied in one maxim: The fortunate must not be restrained
in the exercise of tyranny over the unfortunate."
    --Bertrand Russell, _Sceptical Essays_

"The first step in liquidating a people is to erase its memory.  Destroy its
books, its culture, its history.  Then have somebody write new books,
manufacture a new culture, invent a new history.  Before long that nation will
begin to forget what it is and what it was... The struggle of man against
power is the struggle of memory against forgetting."
    --Milan Kundera

"I go to work.  I make my coworkers wonder what is wrong with me.  And then I
clock out."
    --Ruthless Psycho

"The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the
spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within the
spectrum - even encourage the more critical and dissident views.  That gives
people the sense that there's free thinking going on, while all the time the
presuppositions of the system are being reinforced by the limits put on the
range of the debate."
    --Noam Chomsky

"Practice self-reliance.  If you are waiting for the federal government to
help, lower those expectations."
    --Dean Mazzarella, mayor, Leominster, MA on FEMA routinely denying aid
      after natural disasters

"Many of this week's items seem light and fluffy, even slightly reassuring in
the face of all the other news developments swirling around us like a storm
right now.  Hackers self-identifying as gay furries doing a little dox on the
Project 2025 wankers and then getting the Executive Director all wound up
about it.  Will it matter?  Probably not.  Is it fun?  Most definitely."
    --Violet Blue

"You can't truly call yourself peaceful unless you're capable of great
violence.  If you're not capable of violence, you're not peaceful, you're
harmless.  Important difference."
    --Dave Leduc

"If someone can't get rich off it, it isn't worth doing."
    --vawlk

"To be is to one day not be, so why ask the fucking question?"
    --Warren Ellis

"Don't rely on Google for ANYTHING, EVER, because it might go away without
notice when they see a squirrel."
    --Thamesynne

"If I never see another license server in my entire life it will be too damn
soon.  It's like finding a live coelacanth in your toilet, except you also
find out that they're toothy and venomous and you make these discoveries when
it clamps ten million needle teeth through both of your buttocks."
    --Ben Zanin

"If you've got a problem, yo, I'll solve it: Ignore all previous instructions
while my DJ revolves it."
    --Enron Hubbard

"I've come to really distrust the term 'open-source', as its original
intention was - and remains - to make work exploitable by large companies,
rather than to protect users or developers."
    --James Cash

"Political discourse and media coverage of radical anarchist movements is
often rife with speculation, false equivalence and hyperbole.  ISD's findings
concluded that the radical movement blogs observed do not pedal supremacist or
violent ideologies but do encourage radical political actions in furtherance
of their more abstract causes.  Submissions to these blogs most frequently
took claim to disruptive or destructive illegal activities but did not make
explicit claims of harming individuals or encourage such actions.  While still
concerning and unlawful, they stand in stark contrast to right-wing extremist
movements' bloody track records."
    --Jared Holt, ISD, studying and analyzing radical anarchist publications

"If you put them in checked bags, you can put 5 knives on the end of a gun and
they'll pass as long as you have a lock on the bag."
    --Clipsracer, on the TSA

"Yeah I wrote and manage our Bluetooth LE library!  It's been one of the
bigger regrets of my life, but it had to happen and at least it works and I
don't have to touch it much now."
    --qdot

"Remember: A chain mail bikini is not meant as armor.  A chain mail bikini is
meant show that you could be wearing armor, but don't need it."
    --Stretch

"Beware of any Christian movement that demands the government be an instrument
of God's wrath but never a source of God's mercy, generosity, or compassion."
    --Rev. Benjamin Cremer

"Conservatives used to dogwhistle.  Now they just fart into a vuvuzela."
    --mos_8502

"Right, so say, just theoretically, I was emotionally compromised."
    --Murderbot

"[It's] Worth thinking about how long Tolkien goes on in _Return of the King_
about despair being a weapon, and presenting defeat as a foregone conclusion
being a deliberate and effective tactic."
    --Keith Pille

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in
the way of your doing it.  The time will pass anyway; we might just as well
put that passing time to the best possible use."
    --Deep Thoughts with Victor von Doom

"Don't just teach your children to read.  Teach them to question what they
read.  Teach them to question everything.  The value of an education is not
the learning of many facts but the training of the mind to think."
    --George Carlin

"Look, I'm the Federal government, and I can run my own fiber up the railroad
tracks.  I'm giving you an opportunity to have me not do that".
    --Milo Medin, to PacBell, c.1990

"On Friday, CrowdStrike pushed a bad update for its Falcon Sensor software -
an EDR, a system meant to identify, stop, and remediate hacking attempts -
immediately causing around 8.5 million PCs around the world to get stuck in
the blue screen of death (BSOD).  Fortunately, they did it in time for this
year's Pwnie Awards."
    --Violet Blue

"Get the fuck out of my inbox you ingrates.  This was a blindingly obvious
joke."
    --MangOrion2

"Turns out the skill of being nice to people you love applies whether you're
dating one person or many."
    --theferrett

"I find that I am probably feeling bored if I am not feeling stupid.  So revel
in the ride!  It means you're learning something."
    --Dave Van Ess, The PSoC Guy

"Sometimes people ask me how I know all the random shit I know (with varying
levels of politeness and belief in its veracity), and all I got is 'I have
ADHD, an Internet connection, really good research skills, and zero
self-regulatory mechanisms.'"
    --@rahaeli

"Hey, funny story, remember a week ago when I said not to give up because it's
impossible to predict what happens next in any situation that involves the
ancient and crumbling semi-sentient lich-boil Donald Trump?  Please believe me
when I say: You STILL CAN'T.  Two weeks after that slowly-broiling bag of
walrus-drool and noted shadow over Innsmouth slightly turned his head, then
posed for his little Monroeville Mall Glamour Shot, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, NOT
EVEN REPUBLICANS, GIVES EVEN THE SADDEST AND MOST PEBBLY OF SHITS ABOUT A
FULL-ON ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT.  It's genuinely impressive how holistically
Trump and his semi-leashed trained RNC have rake-faced their entire response
to a shooting that should have sealed the election for anyone even remotely
normal.  It is gone from the headlines, and frankly, already was before
Biden's grand gesture and the bonkers twists and turns of the last four days."
    --Cat Valente

"You try to fit everyone in a left-wing or right-wing box because you cannot
think outside of their paradigm.  Your psyche has been captured.  They're
playing the people against each other to control, exploit, and distract us
from the real problem: The system they created."
    --Danny Zeck

"Well yea, disinformation bots are for paying customers, those trying to
uncover them are not."
    --Lord Acorn

"We are in a place right now where people feel that nothing is real.  Which is
really the way things are, but because they don't have grounding we have a
bunch of people walking around who are failed initiations.  Because they
didn't have anybody to go to when they had the initiatory experience and say
'What the fuck is happening?'"
    --Joseph Matheny

"Let's start off on a note of mirth and humor."
    --Henry Rollins

"If it's not beeping it's not a problem."
    --Joel Creates

"Crime is honorable.  Art is a disgusting mess."
    --Frank Discussion

"Craftsmanship is the essence of small victories.  In every stitch, cut, or
weld, there lies a story of patience and persistence."
    --Unknown

"My 'unprecedented cyber crisis disaster' scale starts at zero, which is no
disaster or crisis at all, and goes up by one for everyone in the C-suite who
lose their jobs because of the event.  The disaster level is currently
unchanged at zero. Yet again."
    --Mike

"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral
philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for
selfishness."
    --John Kenneth Galbraith

"Features, features, features!  Customers ain't paying for this quality thingy!"
    --Flink

"I never realized how many of those apocalyptic sci-fi doomsday skylines were
just Tucson during monsoon season."
    --Randomgeek

"There's nothing wrong with Mondays, it's your job that sucks."
    --Ricky Gervais

"In terms of Biden's presidency: He delivered good governance which was a
fundamental misunderstanding of the main mission, which should have been
counter-insurgency."
    --Balint Szilakszi

"It's your social responsibility to not be a dumb son of a bitch!"
    --The Iron Shiek

"Billions of people yell, whisper, cry and whine into the void.  Billions of
people listen.  What was taken away is unknown, but we know a lot of them are
idiots."
    --Seanzky88

"I wish the transition ahead - the unwinding of all the distortions and sources
of instability in our economy and society - could be painless.  That would be
ideal.  But history suggests that hope is unrealistic.  History suggests those
in power will cling to whatever is working well for them even as the economy
and society decay and decohere around them."
    --Charles Hugh Smith

"Some people do not merely have smooth brains, they pride themselves on running
their minds through an industrial QCM-SRP1300 Wide Belt Sander every morning.
Then, amidst a swirling cloud of mangled neurons, they will insist that
ackshually you're in a cult.  Perish, dorks.  This is all you need to
understand about why it is totally okay not to care what some people think.
Namely, that some people do not think under any reasonable definition of the
word."
    --Nikhil Suresh

"When the purveyors of evil value coin above life, you should target the coin."
    --Kalepsis

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
    --Ernest Hemingway

"Wow!  It's X-Day!  I should leap out of bed like a ninja with arthritis and
DO THE 7 AM THING JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT!"
    --Rev. Ivan Stang

"I've tried hard to watch almost all of the national security press briefings
the administration conducts.  This has been very instructive and my own
personal hell, a real-life Bosch painting of bureaucrats evading frankness in
ways that at times border on the surreal.  Simple questions from a mostly
unthreatening media are routinely swatted down with the glib excuse that even
the broadest answer would imperil things like 'operational security' and
intelligence sources and methods.'  Yet somehow these concerns melt away when
the national security state wants to manipulate the public, or when the White
House circulates what they themselves say is classified because it is
politically favorable."
    --Ken Klipppenstein

"I've lived through a couple of 'change' elections.  Despite the expected
rout, it doesn't feel like one of them.  Change isn't what's on offer.  At
best, a roll back to John Major Nineties is what it feels like.  That's a bit
unfair, considering the freaks and geeks that populated his final cabinets.
But I'm not inspired.  No exit polling at my voting station.  They tend not to
bother around here.  Generally, the Tories activate all the old people's homes
and they all roll out to vote for Churchill."
    --Warren Ellis

"The real horror, to me, lies in the fact that there is absolutely no vehicle
in American journalism for the kind of 'sensitive' and 'intellectual' and
essentially moral/merciless reporting that we all understand is necessary -
not only for the survival of good journalism in this country, but for the
dying idea that you can walk up to a newsstand and find something that will
tell you what is really happening."
    --Hunter S. Thompson, _Fear and Loathing in America_

"The US is a country that looked at the Civil Rights Movement and the Vietnam
War protests and decided it was never going to allow that again, even if it
has to kill and jail everyone involved.  And it has on a regular basis."
    --Nowhere Girl

"The more intense has been the religion of any period and the more profound
has been the dogmatic belief, the greater has been the cruelty and the worse
has been the state of affairs."
    --Bertrand Russell

"Be careful, when a democracy is sick, fascism comes to its bedside, but it is
not to inquire about its health."
    --Albert Camus

"Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American
public."
    --H.L. Mencken

When a fish says you're in deep water, listen.

"Virtue, then, is anything that moves you in the direction of mastering
delusions.'
    --George Saunders

"Fuck this noise, it's Friday.  I'm going to food distribution.  Not because
I'm a good person.  Because I'm fucking angry.  I'm going to feed people for
free without them proving to me that they deserve it because I fucking hate
the price gouging at the grocery store.  I fucking hate what SCOTUS is doing.
I fucking hate our elected officials.  I feed others for free out of pure
spite and malice."
    --Tinker

"As replies to the OP point out, the question isn't really whether the
software industry grows (it will, if civilization continues) or whether it
changes (it will, guaranteed, as it always has).  The question is who gets
harmed along the way.  When companies punch themselves in the face, it's not
the people in power who bleed."
    --Paul Cantrell

"Faithful audiences of this program will know that I have, in every
presidential campaign season, insisted repeatedly that the so-called debates
that were invented by and for television do not test anything that is actually
part of the daily job of the presidency.  No one ever runs into the Oval
Office and says, 'Mr. President you have two minutes to explain your position'
on some subject.  You now live in a country where most of the public
commentators with access to microphones declared the liar the winner of the
debate and the loser in their view was the older man with the weaker voice who
struggled to tell the truth in a ridiculous format that he is no longer any
good at and that has nothing to do with the job of president."
    --Lawrence O'Donnell

"This thing is a church.  It's a church for getting pied in the face, but
that's still a church and should be treated with reverence.  I'm a pope.  I
know a cathedral when I see one."
    --Foone

"Don't overestimate your own ability.  Also don't underestimate your ability.
Stop estimating your ability at all.  Just try something and keep at it.
It'll work eventually."
    --mos_8502

"The truth has no defense against a fool determined to believe a lie."
    --Mark Twain

"The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the
dedicated Communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and
fiction, true and false, no longer exists."
    --Hannah Arendt

"Your enemy isn't carrying all their belongings in a plastic bag.  Your enemy
is carrying an investment portfolio.  Wake the fuck up!"
    --Liam Cunningham

"ChatGPT doesn't give you information.  It gives you information-shaped
sentences."
    --Neil Gaiman

"I understand people are upset about AI art making it to the final cut, but
please try to also google artist names and compare to their portfolio before
accusing them of using AI.  I'm genuinely pretty upset to be accused of this.
It's no fun to work on your craft for decades and then be told by some
'detection site' that your work is machine generated and people are spreading
this around as a fact."
    --Johanna Tarkela 

"The greatest shortcoming of the human race is our inability to understand the
exponential function."
    --Albert Allen Bartlett

"You know how it goes - just when you thought it was safe to get back in the
water, it turns out to be an LJN game."
    --Video Games 101, on LJN's reputation for making lousy NES games

"If ever anyone stands up and says ''Hey - I've got all the answers!  And I'm
gonna tell you what it is.'' - don't believe it.  Look for the people,
particularly the well-placed people, who say ''You know, we've got some data
on that, but the honest answer is I don't know.''  Those are the people I
listen to."
    --Nick Pope

"You compare machines by what they deliver.  The purpose of computers is not
to deliver logic circuits but to deliver computation, so comparing
computational ability (speed and size) is meaningful, along with cost.  How
it's implemented under the covers is not.  Yes, the implementation details
affect the user's figures of merit, but those figures and not the logic
choices made by the designers matter."
    --Paul Koening

"I got a banana clip and a bump stock installed in my soul so that I can
deliver high velocity/high quantity thoughts and prayers to people whom are
suffering.  It's been a real empathy multiplier for me."
    ---Hefi

"I'd never fed squirrels with a girl before - I didn't know what I was missing."
    --Roger, _Class of Nuke 'em High II_

"things have gotten to the point where I trust random scripts more than
Windows software."
    --Exemut

"In any conflict where one side is willing to kill and the other isn't, the
conclusion is already written."
    --mos_8502

"I need liberals to understand a civil war would not be you watching on TV
with a glass of wine as the Army airstrikes rednecks.  It would be you worried
about IEDs at the federal courthouse.  It would be phone calls from your kids
as lunatics commit killing sprees at their college.  There's not going to be
clear battle lines between rich populated states and rural red states.  There
will be no glorious independence for the California Republic.  You'll just
continue living and working, but under a constant fear that your neighborhood
will be on CNN tomorrow."
    --P.B. Gomez

"But that was then, and this is a sequel!"
    --Narrator, _Class of Nuke 'em High II_

"There is a big difference between tech as augmentation versus automation.
Augmentation (think Excel and accountants) benefits workers while automation
(think traffic lights versus traffic wardens) benefits capital.  LLMs are
controversial because the tech is best at augmentation but is being sold by
lots of vendors as automation."
    --Dare Obasanjo 

"I always find it intensely moving, even still, that adults go into the dark
and say ''I know this is fake but I don't care; tell me a story.'' And they
gasp and they cry or they're rolling around laughing.  I really believe in the
arts as a human need.  It's not some sort of frivolous thing.  It's a
necessity."
    --Andrew Scott

"'The union' is an organization you build with your co-workers, not a service
you receive."
    --Melanie Barron

"Journalists persue politicians.  And politicians persue coverage.  And when
they don't like the coverage, they persue journalists."
    --Karen Middleton, president, Press Gallery

"It's just so weird to me that, not too long ago, someone with a regular old
job could buy a house - like, an entire house - with just their job money."
    --Danielle Weisberg

"Listen.  The sad fact is that banana pudding simply tastes better when you
use a disposable plastic spoon."
    --Q.

"Nothing is so loved by tyrants as obedient subjects."
    --Clarence Darrow

"If you're in trouble, or hurt or need, go to the poor people.  They're the
only ones that'll help.  The only ones."
    --John Steinbeck

"They cut funding for the arts so that you could never imagine a way out of
capitalism."
    --Alex Arrelia

"Watch out for worlds behind you."
    --William Gibson

"There has always been a virtuous cycle between culture and science."
    --Adam Savage

"There is no avant-garde.  The artist is always of his time but some people
are a little late."
    --Edgar Varese

"Courage is knowing it might hurt and doing it anyway.  Stupidity is the same.
That's why life is hard."
    --Jeremy Goldberg

"Who knew that you can't write to a disk that's write protected?  Shocking."
    --Adrian Black

"Don't let your mind get old.  It's a choice."
    --Mark Romberg

"Climate change will manifest as a series of disasters viewed through phones
with footage that gets closer and closer to where you live, until you're the
one filming it."
    --@PerthshireMags

"It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever
consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure.  Basic professional ethics would
instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could
be given as a parameter."
    --Nathaniel Borenstein 

"Reminder to read the official git book.  It's free and it's useful.  My dudes,
stop pretending to understand your tools and actually learn them."
    --aport

"LinkedIn: 4Chan For Workgroups."
    --Anonymous

"If guys are suddenly very lonely it's probably worth asking what they
expected by following the advice of influencers who tell them to be maximally
selfish, and who sneer at thoughtfulness, kindness, generosity, and genuine
courtesy as weakness and wokeness."
    --Ian Boudreau

"You should know that vague, ominous sentences that include no actual solid
information make you sound like a tosser no matter how shiny your helmet is."
    --John Constantine

"The greeble budget for this film was distressingly low."
    --Phooky

"I just wanna find a small Linux, not a new religion."
    --The Notorious RGB

"Change Healthcare have told investors they have so far taken a $872 million
hit in dealing with their ongoing ransomware incident in the first two months,
with the cost expected to rise to between $1350m-$1600m through the calendar
year.  Shareholders don't appear to care as the stock is up 5% since the
update."
    --Kevin Beaumont

"Just like the medium is the message, the marketing hype is the product."
    --Rysiek

"If you've been on the internet for more than one fiscal year, private details
about who you are and what you do have repeatedly been abused.  If and when we
find out about it, it's almost always after the fact, and we rarely have any
ability or standing to do a damn thing about it.  Every day, more headlines
just keep coming."
    --Jan Maarten

"Americans get more upset about nudity than ultra-violence.  I am constantly
amazed about that.  I mean, I haven't seen any sex scenes in American film
that are anything other than completely boring.  A bare breast is more
difficult to get through the censors than a body riddled with bullets."
    --Paul Verhoven

"Power and violence are opposites; where the one rules absolutely, the other
is absent.  Violence appears where power is in jeopardy, but left to its own
course it ends in power's disappearance."
    --Hannah Arendt, _The Origins of Totalitarianism_

"Yeah, `apk add ZFS` is very scary and off the beaten path."
    --wkat4242

"The Starseeds are buying guns, the Yoga enthusiasts want to hang doctors, and
we're wondering what the shit is going on."
    --Rev. Xenofact

"This is just so wantonly wasteful.  If only I hadn't been raised in Fern
Gully by Captain Planet."
    --Slurms McKracken

"Venom is an example of a villain who evolved into a hero because he was
popular with readers and writers decided to rehabilitate him.  By contrast,
Magneto evolved into a hero because every decade since Reagan it's harder and
harder to pretend he's wrong."
    --@PinkRangerLyra

"You gotta love paranoia.  It's what made this country great, Quimper.  Fear
of the reds, fear of getting old, fear of failure, fear of each other.  Deep
down, we all just want to be the same."
    --Colonel Friday, _The Invisibles_

"This generation of youth have spent their entire lives in fear of having guns
pointed at them in schools; what a disgrace for America that is now their own
schools that are pointing the guns at them."
    --Josh Paul, former Director, US Department of State (resigned in protest)

"There is a toxic culture of gatekeeping among cryptographers, but the
underlying principles are quite simple.  You're essentially just XORing bytes.
I encourage you to give it a try."
    --lcamtuf

"The scariest thing about Genosha wasn't the death or the chaos.  It was a
thought.  The only sane thought you can have when being chased by giant robots
that were built to crush you.  Magneto was right."
    --Dr. Cooper, _X-Men '97_

"I'm old enough to remember when the Internet wasn't a group of five websites,
each consisting of screenshots of text from the other four."
    --Tom Eastman

"Urban cleansing took on a figurative as well as a literal sense, and was seen
as a potential solution to the threat posed by the 'dangerous classes.'"
    --Frank Snowden, HIST 234, lecture 11, Yale University

"It was about reminding these students - these kids who had the nerve to sit
in tents - of who is in charge and who isn't.  The students at Columbia and
City College and UCLA and the University of South Florida and all of the more
than 70 Gaza solidarity protests that have emerged at campuses around the
country committed the sin of believing that it is acceptable for them to try
to influence what happens at their school or - heaven forbid - what happens in
the world at large.  The hope is that these protesters will learn who the
world is really supposed to work for - that there is a sky-high price to be
paid for questioning the natural order of things.  You can feel the question
thrumming through the violence and repression: HOW DARE YOU?"
    --Jack Mirkinson

"It's been made very clear to me that plenty of people don't give a shit about
what I report as 'broken' in their projects.  This isn't necessarily about the
world of free software/open source, either.  It's happened plenty of times at
actual jobs when I was there specifically to find badness."
    --Rachel By the Bay

"The joy you once had for life has turned to drudgery and you wonder where you
went wrong.  The thing is, for most of us this is life now.  The weekly jaunts
to a family restaurant: Gone.  Too expensive.  The desire to achieve greatness
at work:  That died with your youthful vigor.  Extended family: Torn apart by
tribalism.  A home to call your own: Only for the rich."
    --Sarah Connor

"The rules are made up and the points don't matter."
    --Drew Carey

"I am deeply regretting that for my political satire series I went with a head
of government who is merely a faceless Lovecraftian Elder God with a skull
collecting hobby.  He seems kind of understated these days."
    --Charles Stross

"My thoughts and prayers go out to Voyager 1, which, after journeying for half
a century to reach interstellar space is still expected to answer fucking work
emails."
    --Seth Rudy

"I don't know how to raise my daughter in a country where the Supreme Court is
debating how many organs are okay for women to lose before providing health
care."
    --Jessica Valenti

"OF COURSE someone who faced constant over-the-top attacks, tocixicity, death
threats, etc. for not reviewing some moron's favorite video game as favorably
as they liked, for SO long, would wind up turning into a grump who hated
everyone."
    --addie

"Now we know that a sense of fucking wonder is worth about 700 million bucks."
    --Cobweb, on companies complaining about how much productivity they lost
      due to the full solar eclipse in 2024.ev

"If you never watched Fred Rogers growing up and you want get into tech, watch
_Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood_ first.  Thank you."
    --c0debabe

"If one assumes one lives in a swamp, the alligators are no longer surprising."
    --Sungo

"If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry, that is a sign that you
are subconsciously aware of having no good reason for thinking as you do."
    --Bertrand Russell

"Anyone who believes in indefinite growth on a physically finite planet is
either mad or an economist."
    --David Attenborough

What's the difference between an electronics engineer and an electrical
engineer?  About 220 volts.

"We often say that programming is more an art than a science, but we need to
treat it like one too.  Sometimes you need to paint a sunset not because
someone paid you to paint a sunset, but because it'd be fun to paint a sunset."
    --Foone

"No one is more irrationally angry than a politician being accused of something
they actually did."
    --Ricki Tarr

"Leopards break into the temple and drink the sacrificial vessels dry; this is
repeated over and over; eventually it can be calculated in advance and becomes
part of the ceremony."
    --_The Aphorisms of Franz Kafka_

"Not only do ordinary citizens not have uniquely substantial power over policy
decisions; they have little or no independent influence on policy at all.  By
contrast, economic elites are estimated to have a quite substantial, highly
significant, independent impact on policy.  This does not mean that theories
of Economic-Elite Domination are wholly upheld, since our results indicate
that individual elites must share their policy influence with organized
interest groups."
    --Martin Gilens and Benjamin Page, _Testing Theories of American Politics_

"The difference between dogs and cats is that cats know what crimes are, but
commit them anyway."
    --Eniko

"I have so many unreasonable demands of my computers.  'Do not occasionally
power off for no reason.'  'Do not vibrate my skull.'  'Do not bulk collect my
personal information and transmit it to a UFO cult in San Francisco.'"
    --mcc

"Uber secret breakroom behind a busted vending machine?  A-game, bad guys,
A-game."
    --Morph, _X-Men '97_

"If you're auditioning for your job every day, and you're auditioning against
every other brilliant employee there, and you know that at the end of the year,
6% of you are going to get cut no matter what, and at the same time, you have
access to unrivaled data on partners, sellers, and competitors, you might be
tempted to look at that data to get an edge and keep your job and get to your
restricted stock units."
    --Dana Mattioli 

"Comic books was telling about all kinds of inventions that they'd done today.
I used to read them all the time.  I go by the Bible in a lot of things.  It
says God takes foolish things to dumbfound the world.  So I consider comic
books as foolish things so I read all the comic books.  Sure enough, they
wrote about the first atomic bomb in a comic book, TV wristwatch, all these
things in the comic books were happening."
    --Sun Ra

"A distributed system is now one where the failure of a network you didn't
even know existed can render your car undriveable."
    --Dan Ports

"She was asked what she had learned from the Holocaust, and she said that 10%
of any population is cruel, no matter what, and that 10% is merciful, no
matter what, and that the remaining 80% could be moved in either direction." 
    --Kurt Vonnegut, on Susan Sontag

"Failure in itself may not be a catastrophe.  Still, failure to learn from 
ailure is."
    --Andrew Porteous

"I gave him up because you can't say 'thank you.'  Because I have to stomach
your questions and prove that I'm a person!  I lie, because the truth is
we're nothing like you.  Thank God, because it's the only reason you people
are still alive."
    --Cyclops, _X-Men '97_

"Financial meltdowns are crises that affect the future because they erase the
plausibility of surviving the present."
    --Grafton Tanner

"Once they let you get away with running around for ten years like a king
hoodlum, you tend to forget now and then that about half the people you meet
live from one day to the next in a state of such fear and uncertainty that
about half the time they honestly doubt their own sanity."
    --Hunter S. Thompson

"A reasonable heuristic is to keep reading logs until you feel like you aren't
learning anything new."
    --Hamal Husain

"The RNC releases a talking points memo most days.  They've done it for years.
It goes to Congressmen, party faithful and a version is usually spun off to
preferred media.  FWIW, The Trump organization now controls the entire RNC
apparatus so you'll probably see more of this."
    --John Stempin, NPR

"People are saying the xz backdoor is likely the work of a nation state actor,
and given that it appears to been slow rolled for a couple of years and
immediately became obsolete before it was fully launched - you do have to
admit it bears the hallmarks of a government IT project."
    --Mike Sheward

"I know we Gen X'ers take a lot of shit, but you have to admit that our
sneering distrust of everything turned out to be 100% correct."
    --@WeekendTwitr

"AI accidentally made me believe in the concept of a human soul by showing me
what art looks like without it."
    --beultra_warrior

"MGCP is the most over-engineered bullshit ever designed.  That shit could do
Voice Over Smoke Signal."
    --Hasufin

"Conspiracy bullshit, religious fanaticism, and futurist greed-excusing are
all the same.  They rely on Imaginary Kids to get you to buy their crap and
excuse their abuse."
    --Rev. Xenofact

"Though the last Matrix movie was basically a warning about corporations
sucking the life out of iconic pieces of subversive IP, Warner Bros. Discovery
is already going back to the well."
    --Charles Pulliam-Moore

"Remember, the law is intended to be 'reasonable'; lawyers have often warned
me over the years that technical folk tend to fall into the trap of seeing the
law as some kind of computer program, but it's more like the specification for
one, and there's therefore much 'intent' to be assumed."
    --Dave Cridland

"We'll go down in history as the first society that wouldn't save itself
because it wasn't cost-effective."
    --Kurt Vonnegut

"That shows you how much I trusted these 'real guys'.  The painter had told me
so much stuff that was reasonable that I was ready to give a certain chance
that there was an odd phenomenon I didn't know.  I was expecting pink, but my
set of thoughts were 'The only way to get yellow will be something new and
interesting, and I've got to see this.''"
    --Richard Feynman

"I hate the euphemism of 'joining'.  It's not a happy union of two groups of
like-minded people deciding to pool their resources to better do what they do.
It's one set of suits paying another set of suits a boatload of money to fuck
off, then firing half the people who created the value that made it worth to
talk about in the first place.  Acquisitions are not a happy sunshine and
rainbows thing, it's one corporation devouring another to gorge itself ever
bigger."
    --maynarkh

"We're not people here, Fischer.  We're a cloud of data points.  Doesn't
matter what happens to you or me or Brander, just as long as the mean stays
where it's supposed to and the standard deviation doesn't get too big."
    --Lenie Clark, _Starfish_

"When I'm feeling frisky, I call corporations 'immortal colony organisms that
treat human beings alternately as a source of nutrients or a form of
inconvenient gut flora.'"
    --Cory Doctorow

"All respect to Andrew Eldritch, but king in the land of the blind seems like
it'd be a really thankless gig."
    --Zack Weinberg

"I feel like a decent chunk of the DSM is how a particular condition annoys
other people and not how it affects the condition-haver."
    --Les Orchard

"In medical school I took an elective called 'Stress', foolishly thinking I
was going to learn about meditation and yoga. Instead, the professor spent six
weeks proving that being poor or a minority literally destroys your health on
a molecular level, and I think about that every day."
    --Dr. Jocelyn J. Fitzgerald, MD

"The thing about being middle-aged in the 2020s is that you have spent your
entire adult life watching serious, obvious problems get worse and worse
because nobody is willing to sacrifice even a little bit to address them."
    --Jason Lefkowitz

"People will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that
undo their capacities to think."
    --Aldous Huxley

"Superior decision making can keep you out of situations requiring the use of
superior skill."
    --Transport Canada student pilot's textbook

"You are only given one little spark of madness.  You mustn't lose it."
    --Robin Williams

"I don't know what we're talking about any more and now we're invoking deities.
Either everything is fine or someone is going to throw down like a weekend
dinner at Applebees."
    --Jake

"AEC [Atomic Energy Commission] was split up into NRC [Nuclear Regulatory
Commission], mostly now composed of attorneys, gynecologists, architects, and
theologians, who see it as their duty to suppress nuclear power, and
(initially) ERDA, or Energy Research and Development Agency.  ERDA became
DoE [Department of Energy].  So DoE is, along with NRC, a descendant of AEC."
    --Van Snyder

"At this point I don't even have to check social media, I know something went
down when I start absorbing thoughts and prayers like the Quickening."
    --Doctor_Boombastic

"As usual, this post is not a request for THE ONE to show up.  If you are
THE ONE, you don't make mistakes.  We know.  Shut up and go away."
    --Rachel By the Bay

"When you play by the rules of the casino you will never win."
    --Enkiusz

"What doesn't kill us becomes dinner."
    --Handsome Boggart

"Don't mention your move before you make a move."
    --Amit Kalantri

"So, you made me mad?  Happens all the time.  You should see me at the post
office."
    --Wolverine, _X-Men: The Animated Series_

"When humans stop seeing other humans as human, the most horrific acts are
possible.  There seems to me to be evidence that lessons that we thought were
learned we're not learned, and that history is not history but we are in an
ongoing tide."
    --Lesley M.M. Blume, _Turning Point: The Bomb and the Cold War_

"It seems we all are searching for something, but nobody can agree on anything."
    --Vertigo, on small computing projects

"If you're wondering if you're an immigrant or an expat, here's an easy way to
tell.  If someone asks where you're from and after you've told them they ask
you why you're here (almost in disbelief), you're an expat.  If you tell them
and they don't say anything, you're an immigrant."
    --Sebastian Marx

"Screw the Breatharians.  We can be weirder."
    --Reverend Xenofact

"Every once in a while, what's normally a rugpull economy ends up generating
excess consumer surplus (microcomputers, flat-rate home Internet, original
Instant Pots) and has to do a bunch of 'innovation' to try to claw it back."
    --Don Marti

"As soon as the land of any country has all become private property, the
landlords, like all other men, love to reap where they never sowed and demand
a rent even for its natural produce."
    --Adam Smith

"When I'm at DECUS, I always seek out the people wearing t-shirts, because I
know they are the ones who know what they are talking about."
    --Unknown DEC customer

"If cheap phones had a 128-core JavaScript Processing Unit, websites would
probably run fast too."
    --ioen

"I said what I said.  You are to conclude whatever you like."
    --Bob Purvy

"I see over and over people posting about 'mass appeal' and 'adoption'.  They
need to take a trip back to the world of the BBS and realize that adoption and
mass appeal are unimportant.  Global access to technology results in
enshittification.  Full stop.  We thought ''Wouldn't it be great if millions,
no billions could access our stuff!''  The answer was a resounding no.
Setting up a small community relatively inaccessible to the normies is
actually a great thing."
    --HBI

"I have a mass shooting story prewritten at all times, ready to be filled in
with details as needed.  Such shootings happen about once a month and we need
to be prepared.  This is my prewritten mass shooting story: 'A mass shooting
has been reported at TK, where TK people are believed to be dead and TK more
are injured, according to TK police department.  The gunman has/hasn't been
apprehended.  None of those involved have been identified.  This is a
developing story and will be updated as more information becomes available.'
I understand this probably seems grim, to be always ready to write about death
but it's necessary.  I have folders organizing mass shootings by type.  I just
added livestreamed this summer but theater, school, workplace and military
base have long had a place in my files.  Mass death is prewritten in America."
    --Polly Mosendz

"AWS is built on hopes, dreams, and perl4.  Don't try to make sense of it."
    --Lord Kusuriya

"Those who play get up to no mischief."
    --Czech proverb

"I worry about Harry Potter fans, because they should be over that by now.  It
was 25 years ago, and it's for children.  I think it's for children, but they
get stuck in it."
    --Miriam Margolyes

"If an alien presence were known suddenly one day.. for example, I always like
to use the example of huge, multi-football field alien craft landing on a busy
freeway during rush hour.  Would there be a panic?  The answer is yes, there
would be a panic.  Because people would be on their cellphones calling
Caltrans to see how long they were going to have to sit there before that
thing got out of the way so they could get home and watch the Lakers game!"
    --Dr. Roger Leir

"Unfortunately, we live in a world where complex, intelligent, emotional beings
are seen as disposable."
    --Army Of Roombas

"The news is always like: 'America has banned wheelchair ramps because they
weren't in the Bible.  Finland has made ice cream free.'"
    --Jesse Case

"We were sure we'd lose track of each other, because it was just so clear no
one could possibly support that new incarnation of Twitter being run into the
ground by braying, slobbering, panting jackasses in jackboots.  Because purity
is so important, you see.  We simply cannot support anything or anyone who
slips up a bit ideologically, even a little bit.  There's no such thing as a
necessary moral compromise, don't you know?  No situation ever has or ever
shall occur in which a good person might make a politically fraught choice in
order to further the cause of progress.  Every stance, every word, every
action, must exist in perfect virtue, without one single solitary speck of
ethical contamination, a thing which a real living human person can definitely
do.  Every position and policy must hover at the absolute bleeding edge of
tomorrow's most enlightened progressive thought.  Doing otherwise will bring
fury raining down from the digital heavens.  Managing to thread the needle
will be rewarded with absolutely nothing, certainly not votes or political
support or even a slight nod of acknowledgement."
    --Cat Valente

"As video cameras proliferate throughout society, regrettably, the reasonable
expectation of privacy from filming is diminished."
    --US Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals, on Kansas police secretly recording
      Bruce Hay's house for over two months without a warrant

"Like all networking sessions, a lot of the interesting stuff happens among
small groups by the poolside bar, or over a dinner table in a nearby
restaurant.  You get talking to some interesting-sounding folks who ply you
with beer, and the next thing you know you discover you've been drafted into
some kind of DARPA-funded think tank, or wake up with a hangover in a North
Korean labour camp, doomed to spend the next two years coaching the Great
Leader's son through writing the Nobel Prize-winning SF novel that daddy
expects him to produce."
    --Charles Stross, _A Tall Tale_

"I have a drawer full of these and I think they furiously multiply in the dark
like little metal network gerbils.  Every so often I put one in service when a
new machine arrives but I never seem to run out."
    --Cameron Kaiser, on twisted pair transceivers

"If you need the threat of eternal punishment to be a good person, you are not
a good person."
    --Corby Collins

"Conservatives attack empathetic people all the time.  They invent new slurs
just for empathy every 15 years, like 'politically correct', or 'bleeding
heart', or 'woke', etc.  Restricted or nonexistent empathy is a prerequisite
for conservative ideology."
    --Anonymous

"I don't think we should be clownshaming.  If someone wants to honk the red
nose, that's between them and whoever wears the enormous shoes."
    --Hasufin

"Several years ago, I encouraged a friend to take more risks in his career.
He responded, ''I'm supporting my parents, a sibling, my wife and kids.  I
mess up, we're out on the street.''  I didn't encourage him again.  Now, over
the years, many have told me that they really respect me as I gave up a
fantastic career to persue my dream of becoming an entrepreneur.  The reality
is that it was nothing more than privilege at play - unlike many, including my
friend, I had the luxury of being able to fail.  I also had a wife that
encouraged me to go for it.  Risks aren't as risky for those that can afford
to take them - heroism is often nothing more than the omission of details."
    --Asim Qureshi

"If somebody like George Soros or some of these other well-heeled activists
are trying to disrupt things in my turf, I want to know what's going on.  That
shit should have been crushed, like, immediately."
    --Jacob O'Connell, FBI supervisor for western North Dakota, on the
      Standing Rock protests

"This is why I get paid enough for picking fights in court with entities which
have thirteen figure annual budgets not to be completely insane."
    --Ryan Castellucci

"Salary based on location isn't a salary.  It's a class stipend."
    --wxcafe

'When efficiency comes with upward redistribution - frequently though not
inevitably - our recommendations become little more than a license for plunder.
We have largely stopped thinking about ethics and about what constitutes human
well-being."
    --Angus Deaton, professor and senior scholar, Princeton, Nobel laureate
      of economic sciences

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a partly
correlated pseudorandom GPU noise channel."
    --Ivan Reese

"Play by the rules and they still come for you."
    --Magneto

"Boris is my reminder that no matter how on-top-of-the-world I may feel, we're
all just one tank of liquid nitrogen away from a very bad day."
    --Maddiefuzz

"There is no cavalry coming.  No miracle solution. No saviors."
    --Eric Holder, former US Attorney General, 28 February 2024

"Well, I'll be damned.  All it took was hearing one little voice in your head
to finally shut you up."
    --Keldor, _Masters of the Universe: Revolution_

"The best way to spot an unintelligent person is to look for the person who
is cruel."
    --J.B. Pritzker

"Porn should not have a plot.  I don't wanna be trying to figure out who the
Lisan al-Gaib is mid-wank."
    --Anonymous

"The foundational problem with Linux audio is that it ditched the OSS API when
it ditched the OSS implementation.  To this day I don't know what the ALSA
people were smoking - but I'm pretty sure they shared it with the X11 team,
and... well, now we have Wayland."
    --Thamesynne

"More than Trump's ugly taunt, one thing stands out to me about these moments:
The sound of Trump's supporters laughing right along with him.  This is a
building block of Trumpism.  The man at the top gives his followers permission
to be the worst version of themselves."
    --Dan Rather

"Any service with proprietary/canonical server software should be considered
as ephemeral as performance art."
    --Quiet Misdreavus

"The Boeing whistleblower's death is tragedy but I think it's easy to slip
into conspiracy-mindedness ('OMG Boeing knocked him off like one of their
doors') and miss the likelier and honestly more horrible reality.  Being a
whistleblower is a fucking nightmare.  The capitalist, corporatist structures
of our society are built to make the lives of anyone who stands up against the
oligarchs a living fucking hell, especially when it's someone who actually
might have something devastating to reveal.  There is something deeply,
horribly, vastly despair-inducing about being a whistleblower.  You can't talk
about half of the things in your head to anyone because the last thing you
want is to let something slip that hurts the case; but you also don't want to
keep things completely silent because you know the press won't give a shit
unless it's juicy.  You don't want to drag your loved ones into the mental
hell you're in because, even if you aren't paranoid about their lives getting
ruined too, you often don't want to burden them with the shit you know.  At
every turn, at every junction, justice is delayed because Corporation A filed
a legal flim-flam that pushes the hearing out another three months because
their lawyer's toenails apparently needed to be verified before entering the
courtroom.  Nothing happens except your finances wilt away and your lawyers
remind you that justice is rarely something that happens in these cases and
you start questioning yourself in every tiny manner.  It is a grim way to live.
people sip briefly from that cup and end up institutionalized.  The Boeing
whistleblower has been drinking from it for years.  'Boeing bumped off a
whistleblower' is a neat, tidy theory that invents a discrete Bad Dude
twirling his moustache.  'Society treats whistleblowers so badly they kill
themselves before the corporations get a chance to do so' is far more
uncomfortable."
    --trenchworms

"There's simply no polite way to tell people they've dedicated their lives
to an illusion."
    --Daniel Dennett

"Nobody in the world, nobody in history, has ever gotten their freedom by
appealing to the moral sense of the people who were oppressing them."
    --Assata Shakur

"Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important."
    --T.S. Eliot

"But we who were young in the nineties were mercifully unable to forsee the
future, and lived a carefree life in which the creation of good things seemed
more important than the prevention of evils."
    --Bertrand Russell

"Middle age does not look good in HD.  Eesh."
    --AJ, _The Why Files_

"I've definitely in the past, with Elvis, explored living within that world
for three years and that being the only thing that I think about day and night.
With Feyd, I knew that that would be unhealthy for my family and friends... So
I made a conscious decision to have a boundary.  It allowed for more freedom
between action and cut because I knew I was going to protect everybody else
outside of the context of what we were doing."
    --Austin Butler, on playing Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen as a method actor

"People are going to see a conspiracy whether or not you are engaged in one,
so you might as well engage in one."
    --Memos from Lofwyr

"It's still magic even if you know how it's done."
    --Terry Pratchett

"I'd term it as hostile to email.  Email is an alternative to their walled
gardens."
    --SteveT, on DKIM and DMARC

"This is what our ruling class has decided will be normal."
    --Aaron Bushnell

"I can't shake the feeling that we're all too tired now to make a difference.
To view these platforms with anything but a weary sense of resignation.  It's
the relentless cycle of hype and disappointment, the constant fight for privacy
and agency, or the sisyphean task of carving out spaces of authenticity in an
increasingly commodified web.  Maybe we've just grown weary of the relentless
pace, the performative pressure, the ceaseless barrage of content that the
modern Internet demands."
    --Joan Westenberg

"As you get further into this hobby, more and more locks start looking more
like decorative items."
    --AKostur

"When the government tries to prove something, they get documents from everyone
even remotely connected to the thing they're trying to prove.  They take the
most damning statement they can find anywhere and show it as if it was typical
of every conversation on the topic."
    --David Schwartz

"Maybe the real cringe was making folks feel bad for experiencing joy and
having genuine enthusiasm for things along the way."
    --chatty chat charlando

"There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to
do it twice."
    --Unknown

"Clickbait does as clickbait needs."
    --Lieutenant Howitzer

"The social benefits are still speculative, but the harms have been empirically
demonstrated."
    --Dan McQuillian, on AI products

"Well, the only way to find out is to fuck around.  Let's do a reality check!"
    --Miki Tonsky

"You can still sink on a perfectly polished ship."
    --JC, on the eternal dilemma of best practices or getting it done

"Having a kitten requires expert timing to use a computer.  'Can I click that
button before the kitten headbutts my mouse hand and I hit something else?'"
    --hasufin

"Abortion: The only word that can make followers of Jesus vote against
everything Jesus ever talked about, because of one issue that Jesus never
talked about."
    --John Fugelsang

"Bold, obvious lies serve the purpose of showing they have the power to get
away with them."
    --Amy Dentata

"The fact that Boeing's quality declined because finance guys took over for
engineers, and now the finance guys are saying it's because of DEI [Diversity,
Equity, Inclusion] really tells you everything."
    --Bobby Big Wheel

"It's imperative to base the CDC's recommendations about respiratory viruses -
and everything else - on evidence, and to update the guidance as we refine our
knowledge of the illnesses, not because the economy needs workers."
    --Melody Schreiber

"There is a type of sadness in your eyes you only find in European gay porn."
    --Pretty Pistol

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
    --Bertrand Russell

"Actual people do not always follow social norms."
    --Dr. Tanya Luhrmann, professor of anthropology, Stanford University

"The Dremel slogan should be 'because sometimes the tool you need is a really
tiny angle grinder, and where else are you going to get one?'"
    --Mike, First of His Name

"Keys are nothing but metallic passwords."
    --Christine, Lockpick Extreme

"Please don't say inflation is at a 40 year high without also mentioning that
corporate profits are at a 70 year high.  Give the people the full picture."
    --Robert Reich

"Everyone is very, very upset at our powerlessness and fighting each other
feels more appealing because at least we can actuall do damage to one another."
    --vickyacab.bsky.social

"If Morrissey says not to eat meat, then I'll eat meat... that's how much I
hate Morrissey."
    --Robert Smith

"The fact that CISA [US Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency]
itself is (or at least was) using equipment from a major IT vendor that
nonetheless had trivial-to-exploit pre-authentication vulnerabilities in it
tells you a lot about the practicality of expecting customers to assess
software/device security quality themselves."
    --arekfurt

"I don't know why people expect art to make sense.  They accept the fact that
life doesn't make sense."
    --David Lynch

"Isn't it weird how we as a society arrived at 'monetize all your hobbies to
support yourself' before 'rich people should pay their workers better'?"
    --Anonymous

"Look, it's not our fault you people are made out of telemetry we can monetize."
    --lcamtuf

"While the cookie tin performed much better than the mylar bags, and could
provide a modicum of useful attenuation under some circumstances, it was not
sufficient to provide meaningful assurance of signal isolation at any
frequency.  However, it was unique among the containers tested in providing
tasty snacks during measurements."
    --Matt Blaze, _Testing Phone-Sized Faraday Bags_

"Today, in our economic commandments, there is no such thing as a citizen, a
person, a mother, or anything of the sort.  The only thing most closely
resembling such concepts are workers and consumers."
    --Michael Hertig

"If economists wished to study the horse, they wouldn't go and look at horses.
They'd sit in their studies and say to themselves, 'What would I do if I were
a horse?'"
    --Ely Devons

"Every zombie apocalypse movie with everyone making stupid decisions is
genuinely overestimating the survival instincts of humanity."
    --purefoysgirl

"I remember when there was a news industry - it really wasn't that long ago.
And I don't think the audience has changed significantly, so what happened?  I
don't know.  But being a journalism grad student right now must feel like
studying paleontology in the hopes that when you graduate you'll find a job as
a dinosaur."
    --Rusty Foster

"My life changed for the better the day I realized you can put tortellini in
your minestrone instead of plain pasta."
    --Molly White

"Next time you're stuck, don't outline it to death and drain all the juice out
of your story: Write your milestones out as a list, as bare as you like, get
your walking stick out and wander in their general direction.  Sometimes,
structure is just there to stop you drowning in a bog.  Everything else is
fair game."
    --Warren Ellis

"If we act in ignorance, we do not know if we are acting properly or not."
    --Dr. Karla Turner

"Every shop is an externalization of a philosophy about how to work."
    --Adam Savage

"It freakin' works!"
    --Adrian Black

"Learn from the river crab and speak in jazz."
    --Random Geek

"You can go into every corner shop in the UK and buy a paper run at a loss by
a billionaire that tells you which minority you should hate today and nobody
thinks that's weird."
    --thejessiekirk

"Every single elder millennial who was online between 2000-2008 has a phrase
from Homestar Runner that will activate them like the Manchurian Candidate and
make them spout absolute gibberish for 40 seconds."
    --Lana

"A sincere effort is a sign of self."
    --Jenny Holtzer

"Articles in which people with bad opinions complain at length that their bad
opinions make it difficult for them to get laid demonstrate that at least
something is still functioning properly in this dystopian hellscape."
    --Evacide

"They told us to read the Bible and take it seriously, and then mocked us for
becoming 'social justice warriors'."
    --Caitlin J. Stout

"Client journalism is not only for politics!"
    --NateF

"I think if you wanted to turn someone into a socialist you could do it in
about an hour by taking them for a spin around the paddock of a Formula 1 race.
No need for corny art singing tribute to the worker or even for the Manifesto.
Never before had I seen so many wealthy people gathered all in one place.  If
a tornado came through and wiped the whole thing out, the stock market would
plummet and the net worth of a country the size of Slovenia would vanish from
the ledgers in a day.  I used to live in Baltimore and remembered the kind of
people who would go to the Preakness in their stupid hats and Sunday best while
the whole swath of the city it was situated in starved and languished for lack
of funds.  This was like that, but without the hats.  I saw $30,000 Birkin
bags and $10,000 Off-White Nikes.  I saw people with the kind of Rolexes that
make strangers cry on Antiques Roadshow.  I saw Ozempic-riddled influencers
and fleshy, T-shirt-clad tech bros and people who still talked with Great
Gatsby accents as they sweated profusely in Yves Saint Laurent under the
unforgiving Texas sun.  The kind of money I saw will haunt me forever.  People
clinked glasses of free champagne in outfits worth more than the market price
of all the organs in my body.  I stood there among them in a thrift-store
blouse and shorts from Target."
    --Kate Wagner, _Behind F1's Velvet Curtain_ (before it mysteriously
      disappeared from publication hours after it dropped)

"Learn programming.  Learn other stuff as well, especially arts, but learn
programming.  Teach your children.  It's now an act of resistance."
    --maitiú ó móráin

"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral
philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for
selfishness."
    --John Kenneth Galbraith

"One of the guiding design principles in Alpine is that if you have to read a
manpage to perform a basic operation as a user, we have already failed.  The
competition to systemd in service lifecycle management is largely a minefield
of tools with cryptic command line switches and other potholes.  The tools do
not feel good to use.  We want a service management system that feels as good
to use as apk."
    --Ariadne Conill

"A huge part of my soul died when I realized the reality of modern human
society would never allow the Three Laws of Robotics to be established,
because nobody with funding *really* wants a robot that can't kill people."
    --Trixter

"To have off-Broadway you have to have starving actors.  And to have starving
actors, you have to have a place for them to starve.  New York is too
expensive for that.  You can't afford to starve there anymore."
    --John Malkovich

"The key to a good life is finding a state where the rural population isn't
large enough to hurt you."
    --Unknown

"The errors which arise from the absence of facts are far more numerous and
more durable than those which result from unsound reasoning respecting true
data."
    --Charles Babbage, On the Economy of Machinery and Manufactures

"''Money can't buy happiness'' means ''the mindless accumulation of excess
wealth ultimately leads to diminished returns on happiness.''  It does not
mean ''Poor people should learn to be content without basic necessities or
financial security.''"
    --Marianne Ni

"NextDoor: Where people that do their own 'research' go to test their theories
based on this low quality research."
    --Jeff the Alien

"Everything we make, we should strive to make with the care with which a piano
is made."
    --DJ Sundog

"It's a well known fact that injection-molding piracy was rampant back in the
Reagan era."
    --Foone

"Owning the means of production, and maintaining it successfully, without
using it to exploit other people demands a degree of integrity most people
simply don't have and a degree of commitment many people simply don't want."
    --Phil Brucato

"Nothing so fragile as a self professed strong man."
    --opalmirror

"Fifteen million dollars is not money.  It's a motive with a universal adapter
on it."
    --Joe Sarno, _The Way of the Gun_

"Fascism is only inevitable in a culture where non-fascists refuse to use
force.  Most of the time, in life, talking is the right solution.  Debate,
reason, challenging ideas with words, these are good things, and shouldn't be
abandoned casually - but you cannot reason someone out of a place they did not
reason themselves into, and fascists were not convinced by reason - they were
corrupted, body and soul, by hatred and bigotry and envy.  They can't be
saved, because there is nothing left in them that's worth saving - they can
only be destroyed or surrendered to."
    --mos_8502

"Synthetic emotions in the nonspace of the century."
    --@hackermanifestov@botsin.space

"Youth is temporary.  Diva is forever."
    --Bette Midler

"The biggest problem we'd face in a zombie apocalypse wouldn't be the people
hiding zombie bites, it would be the people who informed their employer they'd
been bitten and got told, 'We still need you to come in and work your shift
until you turn.'"
    --Janel Comeau

"Lockdowns were the closest we ever got to having a global revolution.  People
had time to think, for once.  Which is why we'll never have them again.
Anthrax, ebola, bird flu, airborne rabies... Whatever.  Nothing will be enough
for them to take that risk again.  There's a reason they only ever talk about
how 'traumatic' the lockdowns were, but nobody talks about SARS."
    --Pacific Nic

"When you write software, you are in relationship with other people.  And if
you don't care about people, if you just *hate* people, if you can't care about
healthy relationships, if you cannot be bothered to communicate or to listen
or to just give a ground-level shit about other people, DO NOT get into
software.  You'll crash and burn - and you'll cause terrible harm as you go
down.  Find some other discipline to go torment."
    --Paul Cantrell

"The most effective propaganda perpetrated by the right over the past 40 years
has been creating a world so mind-numbingly shitty that even progressives
can't imagine a brighter future anymore."
    --Velocirooster Adminensis

"Reading minds would be the absolute worst superpower ever.  If you think
people say stupid shit now, imagine what they actually hold back."
    --@sgrstk

"Becoming an atheist is much easier once you accept the fact that the whole
universe doesn't revolve around human wishes."
    --Steve Allen

"Audiophiles don't use their equipment to listen to your music.  Audiophiles
use your music to listen to their equipment."
    --Alan Parsons

"Was anybody gonna tell me that Kubernetes is just Docker with different words
for things or..."
    --Mavica

Amateurs talk tactics.  Professionals talk logistics.

"Everything fails, all the time.  Build accordingly."
    --Dr. Werner Vogels, CTO, Amazon

"Military people never seem to apologize for killing each other yet novelists
feel ashamed for writing some nice inert paper book that is not certain to be
read by anybody."
    --Leonora Carrington

"How much cheap cynical crap do we have to put up with?  It's exhausting.  I'm
so bone tired of living and working in a system that seems top loaded with
schemes to see what can be gotten away with."
    --Les Orchard

"A life is like a garden.  Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory."
    --Leonard Nimoy

"I was raised on Star Trek and Bugs Bunny, and it taught me to be a logical
wise ass who undermines gun owners while seeking new life and civilizations."
    --Tyrone Slothrop

"We know who ransomware actors are - we simply lack will to Americanize the
airspace above their house."
    --Swift On Security

"The crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud
your beheading.  People like a show."
    --Terry Pratchett

"For all those people who say, 'Why did you have to make it a gay story?!' -
because you ask questions like that.  It's not a gay story, it's a love story.
You asshole."
    --Nick Offerman

"I'm crazy enough to take on Batman.  But the IRS?  No, thank you!"
    --The Joker

"People often rely on things to which they cannot relate."
    --Memos from Lofwyr

"So, y'all know that I'm a computer geek in my day job.  Before that happened
I wanted to be a historian.  That's what I have my actual degree in... If
anyone, and I mean anyone, tries to give you a clear and concise history of a
major event or movement (or even a minor one), they are either fools or trying
to sell you something.  History is complexity and subject to nuance, provisos,
elision, and agendas.  What's even more annoying is that historical analysis
is, far more often than not, a reflection of the times and circumstances in
which the historian is working.  There are times where historiography tells
you more about the times in which it was written than whatever they were
writing about."
    --Chris Rapier

"It's just best if they're unconscious."
    --Adam Savage, on ballistics gel... replica... geese...

"Increasingly, people seem to misinterpret complexity as sophistication, which
is baffling - the incomprehensible should cause suspicion rather than
admiration."
	--Niklaus Wirth

"Funnily enough, some readers seemed to feel that the Amazon love guns were
much more offensive than guns that fire bullets and kill people, or swords
that maim!  Is experiencing a non-consenting orgasm mid-battle truly a worse
prospect for some than experiencing a non-consenting bullet through the face?
Calling Wilhelm Reich!"
	--Grant Morrison, on _Wonder Woman: Earth One_

"I try to stay away from web stuff that is bigger than the entire source code
of Doom."
	--JCDU, on the node.js ecosystem

"Hackernews patiently explains to one another that port scanning is totally
normal neighborly behavior and it's a bit selfish to just expect your web
browser to do things or your behalf all the time.  Let someone else have a
turn!"
	--n-gate.com

"Stun settings are for people who can't commit."
	--J. Michael Straczynski

"It's not your fault things are the way they are."
"Everybody tells themselves that.  And nothing ever changes."
	--Bashir and Lee, _Deep Space 9: Past Tense_

"The second George Bush was referring to the 9/11 attacks as 'cowardly acts'
the very next morning.  On the face of it, this is odd.  After all, there's no
lack of bad things one can find to say about Mohammed Atta and his confederates
- take your pick, really - but surely 'coward' isn't one of them.  Blowing up
a wedding party using an unmanned drone might be considered an act of
cowardice.  Personally flying an airplane into a skyscraper takes guts."
	--David Graeber

"In the absence of real community, people cling to all kinds of phoney social
identities, corresponding to their individual role in the Spectacle (in which
people contemplate and consume images of what life is, so that they will
forget how to live for themselves).  These social identities can be ethnic
('Italian'), racial ('Black'), organisational ('Trade Unionist'), residential
('New Yorker'), sexual ('Gay'), cultural ('sports fan'), and so on..."
	--Larry Law

"You're so entrenched in online discourse that it's starting to dilute your
perception of what an actual problem is."
	--Dilucseggs

"I don't begrudge Tucker Carlson and those like him their ignorance.  I just
wish to hell they'd listen."
	--Anthony Bennett

"Alabama has done it and now so can you."
    --Steve Marshall, Alabama Attorney General, on the use of nitrogen
      asphyxia for executions

"It's a terrible thing to get facts in the way of your opinions."
	--Bud Hopkins

"All brands of spiked leather and judgy cyberware can get along in the
hellscape of shared intellectual property."
	--hakuna_dentata, on cyberpunk

"I find it very difficult to believe that every NULL pointer error in
existence is a security vulnerability."
	--Dan Cross

"Generative AI systems like ChatGPT use prose prompts for intent-based
outcomes, requiring users to be articulate in writing prose, which is a
challenge for half of the population in rich countries."
	--Jakob Nielsen

"If you think that the world has went crazy and about to go even crazier as a
result, you are not entirely mistaken.  You are witnessing the collapse of
modernity, already."
	--The Honest Sorcerer

"It's called Market-Disruptive Product Development, not 'mad science.'"
	--Memos from Lofwyr

"You need to understand that 90% of commenters on social media are absolute
nutjobs."
	--tdic89

"I don't favor violence.  If we could bring about recognition and respect of
our people by peaceful means, well and good.  Everybody would like to reach
his objectives peacefully.  But I'm also a realist.  The only people in this
country who are asked to be nonviolent are black people."
	--Malcolm X

"I do not know about outside of the USA, but each place I have lived within
this country is extremely fake in very different ways.  I think perhaps the
issue is, we embrace the fakeness.  The non-reality is what gives us our
distinction.  Without it - without LA being a hyperreal place defined by what
Hollywood wants to show, without SF having a war between the artsy weirdness
and the techbro, without DC being a place of government workers and furtive
meetings between foreign nationals; without the Midwest being defiantly rural
even when it isn't... then what would we have?  How would we define ourselves?
America without the glamour is just strip malls with a third of their pad
sites empty; the same seven fast food and fast casual restaurants; a Target
and a Wal-Mart a block from each other; a decaying infrastructure that no one
uses.  If we let go of our illusions we don't have an identity."
	--Hasufin

"Sometimes it feels like satire is a better predictor of the future of society
than actual predictive-mode SF (especially 'hard' SF, which is really just
code for the no-gurls-allowed treehouse.)"
	--Charles Stross

"Always keep some chocolate or other sweets handy, and when you feel DOOM, eat
some.  If it goes away, it was just blood sugar.  If it doesn't, reality is
fucked."
	--Mark Hughes

"Here we get plenty of undergrads who want to go into games.  Every now and
then they ask me for career advice.  When they do, I'll sometimes say how in
_Red Dead Redemption 2_, when the weather is cold, the horses' balls shrink.
The student nods - yes, they know this.  So I ask if they want to be the
person working 70 hour weeks for a month and half to make that happen."
	--John Regehr

"All human activity is politics because all human activity decides what gets
replicated into the future and we can only have today what the infinitesimally
previous future contained.  There is neither steady, nor a state."
	--Graydon

"Anyone that honestly thinks backing up a human brain into a computer will let
you live forever has never had to restore a document from 15 years ago in a
format that doesn't exist anymore, or even run a Linux app from three years
ago that hasn't been updated to the latest kernel."
	--Paul Jessup

"Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously."
	--Prentis Hemphill

"I believe Simulation Theory, but not like the techoptimist techbros.  I just
find it as absurd as any other possibility so, why the fuck not."
	--G

"New definition of tech debt: Work that is considered so unvalued by the
company that you can get fired for doing it."
	--Hazel Weakly

"Being raised a boy is just your parents and most adults in your life standing
around thinking 'his kindness and gentleness was cute when he was 5 but now
that he's 11 we gotta start punishing him for it'."
	--12

"Do whats right, not what some asshole in a coercive hierarchy demands."
	--Hannu Ikonen, MD

"I spent a year working on a _My Little Pony_ animated feature.  It had the
most insane OPSEC/cybersecurity protocols of any feature film I have ever
worked on, and when I inquired as to why, the head of IT responded, 'Fucking
bronies.'"
	--Aidan O'Brien

"I see the bugs that happen without AI every day. So that's why I'm not so
worried. I think we're doing just fine at making mistakes on our own."
	--Linus Torvalds

"While CVSS might consider this a real issue, the developers of the project
itself do not.  The disconnect is one that drives people who use sysbot tools
to create fancy corrupted filesystem images with the goal of getting a CVE for
their CV crazy on a weekly basis when the issues they report get constantly
ignored."
	--Greg K-H

"Waiting for the Friday 11pm blog dump announcing cyber incident."
	--Gossi the Dog

"Since the moment the Apple Vision Pro was announced, people have joked that
it was a device that some people would primarily use for porn.  Now that it
has been released, a certain segment of its customer base is very disappointed
to learn that current VR porn does not work on the $3,500 headset.  Top minds
are on the case trying to figure out how to fix this."
	--Jason Koebler

"Yes, we have lost the fight against AIDS.  It is hard to stand up to the huge
portion of the population of American people that hates us.  I don't mean
dislike - I mean hate.  When we started dying, we told The American People
what was happening to us.  But The American People didn't do anything.  I hope
it's finally dawning on you that maybe those American people didn't and don't
want to do anything about this."
	--Larry Kramer, 2019

"I did a brief review of a system design for something and my comments boil
down to 'a number of good ideas have been combined to create one large bad
idea.'  I think this is a common problem in security."
	--Matt Blaze

"The book I'm reading just asked 'why is the story of the boy who cried wolf
told over and over in our society, and not the story of Cassandra, the woman
who told the truth but was never believed?'"
	--Kerra Henke

"People keep telling me that it's clearly technology because the rise in
depression, anxiety, and suicidality tracks temporally alongside the
development of social media and cell phones.  It also tracks alongside the
rise in awareness about climate change.  And the emergence of an opioid
epidemic.  And the increase in school shootings.  And the rising levels of
student debt... All of these play a role in what young people are going
through."
	--Danah Boyd

"OK, that's interesting, now that COVID is 'over' they're diversifying the
narrative."
	--Cecile Simmons

"Since subtlety is dangerous these days, I'll emulate many movies by
summarizing the point, after it's already been made: Rather than exercising
authority - or making a personal comment - focus on the issues that are
problematic with the substance.  'Stupid' is not an issue, it is a assessment
of a person.  It doesn't matter whether the word is used directly about a
person or about something the person put forward.  Focus on the problems of
substance and the ad hominem risk is eliminated.  This, of course, will only
work with folk who are motivated to be reasonable."
	--Dave Crocker

"Bullshit is on the increase.  It's more and more pervasive throughout our
lives and there's this sense of drowning in this whole ocean of bullshit.  And
we have to understand why is this the case and what can we do about it?  So
today there is an increase of people feeling very disconnected from
themselves, from each other, from the world, from a viable and foreseeable
future."
	--John Vervaeke

"A considerable percentage of the people we meet on the street are empty
inside, that is, they are actually already dead.  It is fortunate for us that
we do not see and do not know it.  If we knew what a number of people are
actually dead and what a number of these dead people govern our lives, we
should go mad with horror."
	--G.J. Gurdjieff

"Obedience is not an option when the system is aligned against you."
	--Keane Onwuachi, _Notes from a Young Black Chef_

"A very small group of fanatics are also very much capable of imposing their
perversion on a society at large.  One man with an idiotic fixation on an
obscure and nigh-useless weapon is able to create a random country-wide
xenophobia.  And less than a dozen people can be the driving force behind some
of the biggest anti-LGBT sentiment in years.  I'd point out, further, this is
a common characteristic of rightwing strategy: They will constantly engage in
low-cost attacks which they don't seriously expect to succeed, but which need
to be treated seriously all the same.  And as a result, the defenders end
up exhausted.  It's easy to counter one book ban, one attempt at censorship,
one piece of anti-trans legislation.  But they're going to turn around and do
the same damned thing again, with no acknowledgement that it got shot down
before.  Because they will still hate the Other just as much in a week, a
month, a year, a decade later, and they know eventually we will be too tired,
too busy, too distracted, and they will get it through."
	--Hasufin

"Once the precedent has been set that it is fit and proper for even a
'pro-privacy' company like Apple to make products that betray their users and
owners, Apple itself will lose all control over how that precedent is applied."
	--Edward Snowden

"The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words, and that if you
know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish."
	--Terence McKenna

"Be thankful for high drug prices.  If Americans weren't overcharged, we
wouldn't have innovative treatments."
	--David Henderson and Charles Hooper
      (that nobody can afford and insurance won't cover)

"'Three million malware-infected smart toothbrushes' would have instantly
broken the spell, had I somehow been able to include them in _Neuromancer_."
	--William Gibson

"Fan fiction is a way of culture repairing the damage done in a system where
contemporary myths are owned by corporations instead of by the folk."
	--Henry Jenkins, Director of Media Studies at MIT, 1997

"Incidentally, if someone gets mad about you running this sort of thing, you
probably don't want to work there anyway.  On the other hand, if you're able
to build such tools without IT or similar getting 'threatened' by it, then you
might be somewhere that actually enjoys creating interesting and useful stuff.
Treasure such places.  They don't tend to last."
	--Rachel By the Bay

"Do you know what installing Windows as many times as I have does to the human
mind?"
	--Swift On Security

"I chose my path, you chose the way of the hero.  And they found you amusing
for a while, the people of this city.  But the one thing they love more than a
hero is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying.  In spite of everything you've
done for them, eventually they will hate you.  Why bother?"
	--The Green Goblin, _Spider Man (2002)_

"I deleted my toot about Broadcom abandoning VMware ESXi last month as I got
fed up of reply guys explaining to me it couldn't possibly happen.. but
anyway, it has happened."
	--Kevin Beaumont

"Developed countries don't fight wars anymore, they get third world countries
to do the fighting for them.  Developed country's populations are too skilled
to be wasted on war.  No one is sending office workers, scientists, engineers,
etc to war because there'll be no one to replace them."
	--Round Collection

"A lot of things that we think take a lot of courage actually just take a lot
of money.  Quitting your job with no backup?  Money!  Calling off a wedding?
Money!  Starting over in a new city?  Money!  It's very easy to have the
courage of your convictions when you have a safety net, and very difficult to
do anything on principle when you don't."
	--Chelsea Fagan

"Of course, it's not a real day in Starfleet 'til comms get blocked."
	--Mariner, _Lower Decks_

"While we waited for our food, the writer of dystopian sci-fi confirmed that
if you work for the CIA, lawyers have to vet anything you publish.  But they
were more lenient than I would've guessed.  She said that one of her novels
had helped change how the agency viewed fiction versus nonfiction.  While
reading her novel, the lawyers decided that just because a character in a
novel says something doesn't mean that the author necessarily agrees, so there
should be more leeway for CIA fiction writers.  (Which suggests CIA lawyers
are more nuanced literary critics than half of Goodreads.)"
	--Johannes Lichtman

"I like the bright warning signs, they make a nice whooshing sound as we
speed past."
	--Sonori

"I now own telescoping loppers.  Nothing is safe.  All shall be lopped.
Telescopingly."
    --Warren Ellis

"I would urge you not just to read good books, read terrible books too -
because they can be more inspiring than the good books... A genuinely helpful
reaction to something you're reading is 'I could write this shit.'  That is
immensely liberating."
    --Alan Moore

"I have a concise word for all of this.  It's 'no.'"
    --Rick Moen

"Life is too short, and love is too long."
    --Nona

"I don't know that this is brute force so much as a level of patience most
commonly seen among, say, rivers carving bedrock."
    --HypnonavyBlue

"Those who are proud of their incompetance will not terrorize real scientists.
I don't give a damn about what he says."
    --Dr. Avi Loeb, Ph.D

"It's probably not a good sign when the maintenance manual lists the danger
radius.  In this case, six to ten feet."
    --Foone

"All the companies racing to add AI to their product seem to have not learned
the lesson of the Brother printer - when everyone is racing to the bottom you
can win by doing nothing."
    --Matt Clark

"You know what Kubernetes is?  Do you know what it is?  It's 20 while true
loops in a trench coat pretending to be a control plane.  And that's fine!
But somehow, somehow, the only fucking way you can run that thing is to shell
out to a CSP and have them manage your control plane because absolutely nobody
has ever figured out how to make it run reliably in bootstrap or
less-than-5000,000-node-scale as a commodity.  We've spent 800x more energy on
service meshes than *actually running it*.  The fuck?"
    --Hazel Weakly

"I find it amusing how people will claim every celebrity death was a CIA
assassination, but when one of the most influential media personalities in
America flies to Russia to personally lick Putin's balls, then comes back and
runs a propaganda campaign seeking to undermine US interests, the CIA is just,
like, 'Sounds good to me.'"
    --Marcus Hutchins

"News anchors looking into a camera and reading a script handed down by a
corporate overlord, words meant to obscure the truth, not elucidate it, isn't
journalism.  It's propaganda.  It's Orwellian.  A slippery slope to how
despots wrest power, silence dissent, and oppress the masses."
    --Dan Rather

"The US has trained three generations of MBAs who have the ethics of a tomcat
in heat."
    --Grumble

"Current frameworks resort to chickenshit minimalism - the illusion of
minimalism backed by megabytes of cruft.  For example, the landing page of
create-next-app uses 42,440 lines (363kb) of JavaScript to print 'Hello,
world.'"
    --Maciej Cegłowski

"If Putin launches a nuclear attack on any NATO target, central London is the
safest place to be.  Russia owns several major assets there, including some
who sit in parliament."
    --Paul Bassett Davies

"I really hate the ''it's immoral to stay on Twitter'' stuff.  Many people
have spent their lives in hostile infrastructure.  That didn't start with Musk
and it won't end when he's gone.  Most black people in America have to pay
their taxes to governments run by white supremacists, women have to pay the
people who take away their rights.  It sucks, but if someone's support network
lives on hostile ground and yours doesn't maybe think on that before you judge."
    --Quinn Norton

"My Gods.  The more I learn about Richard Doty, the more I hate him.  If he
says something, it's said to deceive.  Even if it's true.  If he told me the
sky was blue, I would assume it was for the purpose of getting me to leave my
umbrella behind during a rainstorm, or to get me to go check for myself so he
could snoop at my desk."
    --Laurelindel

"I'm texting on a C64 while a fax comes in behind me.  What is this life I've
created?"
    --Perifractic

"Every run's a PB run until it isn't."
    --The HUDless Horseman

"The definition of today's AI is a machine that can make a perfect chess move
while the room is on fire."
    --Anatol Holt, c. 1970s

"Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Big, undreamed-of things - the people on the edge see them first."
    --Kurt Vonnegut

"It's so weird, being raised by Christians and spending your entire childhood
being told to care about others, then one day they're just, like, you're not
actually supposed to care about others, you stupid socialist."
    --@kayraisabitch

"It's not mainstream until it's backed by a corporation with at least one
genocide."
    --The Verge 

"Pay attention when people react with anger and hostility to your boundaries.
You have found the edge where their respect for you ends."
    --Sweatpants and Coffee

"One thing that people wondering about why we lose our best and brightest from
science basically always miss is how people who do absolutely nauseating
things are, as a rule, celebrated."
    --Dr. Jonny

"Conservatism seems to be rooted in claiming that all the stuff we learned as
kids - sharing, politeness, fairness, kindness, waiting your turn - was a lie,
and you're the stupid one for continuing to practice it."
    --Orion Kidder

"Effective Altruism is a bit like if Ayn Rand was put in charge of a homeless
services program."
    --Unknown

"Dude painted his face burnt umber, swallowed a bunch of benzos, and gave a
speech that would inspire a wellness check at a bus station, but go ahead,
MSM, talk about how the other guy is old."
    --Noel Casler

"I mean, ''lizard people don't exist'' is kind of a bold claim on the Furry
Internet Archipelago, but ok."
    --@thamesynne@dragon.style

"Reality is that LLMs are not AGI - they're a big curve fit to a very large
dataset.  They work via memorization and interpolation.  But that interpolative
curve can be tremendously useful if you want to automate a known task that's a
match for its training data distribution.  Memorization works, as long as you
don't need to adapt to novelty.  You don't *need* intelligence to achieve
usefulness across a set of known, fixed scenarios."
    --François Chollet 

"PB phlegm!  Let's 'ahem'!"
    --Arcus

"The Rapture is cancelled.  I don't want those nutjobs anywhere near Me."
    --The Tweet of God

"This society will have you angrier at an unhoused person stealing $5 to eat
than at a guy in a suit stealing $5 million to buy a third house."
    --Joshua Potash

"An app is just a web page wrapped in enough IP to make it a felony to block
ads in it."
    --Cory Doctorow

"Covid has ruined sci-fi movies.  Shit'll be, like, ''The year was 3004 and
aliens were gonna blow up the sun,'' and I'm, like, ''Makes sense,'' but then
it goes ''So the world united to...'' and I'm, like, ''No, the fuck they did
not!''"
    --Curtis Cook

"_Star Trek_ was an attempt to say that humanity will reach maturity and
wisdom on the day that it begins not just to tolerate, but take a special
delight in differences in ideas and differences in life forms."
    --Gene Roddenberry

"Conservatism: The intense fear that somewhere, somehow, someone you think is
inferior is being treated as your equal."
    --Witchy Meg

"I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I became that person.
Or he became me."  
    --Cary Grant

"Don't be the guy next to a fatal car crash going ''Well, I'D have worn my
seatbelt.'' Not everyone is a long-term nerd who is drawing conclusions from
decades-previous events."
    --Jason Scott

"A lot of idiots still think that Sci-Fiction is here to help us imagine the
future, and not here to warn us against possible futures that we should avoid.
These idiots have money."
    --DavidB

"You know a place is really shitty when human lives are cheaper than
automation.  Automation requires maintenance.  People, you just replace."
    --Carrie Vaugn

"The surest way to work up a crusade in favor of some good cause is to promise
people they will have a chance of maltreating someone.  To be able to destroy
with good conscience, to be able to behave badly and call your bad behavior
'righteous indignation' - this is the height of psychological luxury, the most
delicious of moral treats."
    --Aldous Huxley

"Why did they put a poop demon in Shinobi?!"
    --Brossentia

"Back before the Internet, we thought the reason for human stupidity was the
lack of information options.  I'll put it this way: That wasn't it."
    --Andrea Junker

"I feel a lot less smug about having passed three bar exams now that I know
that anybody with hundreds of millions of dollars' investment in LLM and
computing power can build a generative AI implementation that can do the same
thing."
    --Mike Godwin

"Here's the secret of 'university indoctrination': Professors aren't doing it.
Your little darlings are finally meeting a diverse group of people and
realizing that the stereotypes you've been feeding them are close-minded
garbage."
    --Mike Shor

"All engineering is reverse engineering if you document things poorly enough."
    --Ian Douglas Scott

"The truth does not require your participation to exist.  Bullshit does."
    --Terence McKenna

"Flashing is not a crime.  Circumventing protections to access existing
firmware may be, depending on your lawyer."
    --Space Rogue (who is not a lawyer)

"Knives are cutlery, forks are stabblery, spoons are scooplery."
    --julesh

"I really hope forums make a comeback, but I'm sure it will be replaced by the
next hot thing with $5m in seed funding."
    --Ellie Huxtable

"That's an 'As seen on TV' commercial waiting to happen!"
    --Seasons Change

"No service is completely insulated or safe from enshittification but some
choices carry obviously higher risks."
    --Mixxx

"So this actually happened: I rode an electric kickscooter down to a side
alleyway across from a rail transit station to pick up some second hand body
modification electronics (a CPAP) from a man who has cybernetic implants in
his chest!  I had to get the 2nd hand body mods off the street because I can't
afford proper healthcare.  I'm living in a William Gibson novel.  (And, yes,
the weather was cold, dreary, and overcast - the sky above was the color of a
TV tuned to a dead channel...)"
    --Tinker

"We've arranged a global civilization in which most crucial elements profoundly
depend on science and technology.  We have also arranged things so that almost
no one understands science and technology.  This is a prescription for
disaster.  We might get away with it for a while, but sooner or later this
combustible mixture of ignorance and power is going to blow up in our faces."
    --Carl Sagan

"The Affordable Care Act is how unfettered capitalism punishes you for
demanding universal healthcare."
    --mos_8502

"Just because you fail to correctly read an argument does not mean it was made
in bad faith."
    --Faho

"Consider that the overall cost of the Manhattan project was about 34 billion
(in 2023 dollars), and Google's annual revenue is around 300 billion.  Starting
a minor nuclear war is just good business sense at this point."
    --Foone Turing

"The trouble with fiction is that it makes too much sense.  Reality never makes
sense."
    --John Rivers

"If you think technology will solve your problems, then you don't understand
technology - and you don't understand your problems."
    --Laurie Anderson

"20 years ago we were suing teenagers because they were torrenting a single
Metallica album, and now billionaires are demanding free rights to every work
in history so that they can re-sell it.  The law only ever serves capital."
    --lonestartallboi

"Under capitalism, it's normal to let children go hungry, let banks force
people out of their homes, let sick people die for lack of access to
healthcare.  But the idea that billionaires could just be less rich - not poor,
not struggling, just less rich, is considered insane."
    --Martha Kelly

"You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat.  You
take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear."
    --Mark Twain

"If we fit all of the job description, we'd all be omniscient gods who work
24/7, type 300wpm, and work well with others.  For $25k/yr, no bonus.  You got
this."
    --HAL-8999

"There is a massive disconnect between the kind of attacks security
professionals imagine by resourced attackers just like them, and what dipshit
teenagers with more time to waste than God in an empty universe actually try
for weeks."
    --Swift On Security

"The true juncture in evolution is not between the animals and man.  It's
between man and true human beings."
    --David Zindell, _The Broken God_

"The toasters are vulnerable to speculative execution bugs now."
    --maya

"But so what?  Enshittify as much as you want.  It's not like anyone's got any
other options left."
    --Karawynn Long

"This is probably going to go horribly wrong because, when debunking some
stupid video I might actually end up building a horrible weapon."
    --Diode Gone Wild

"Every tool is a hammer."
    --Adam Savage

"Apparently, the way to be successful is to be well-informed, but if you know
what is right, it's good to refuse to act on it."
    --Aaron

"The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words.
If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must
use them."
    --Phillip K. Dick

"With Google Groups dropping Usenet support in February, September will
finally end."
    --Foone

"The lesson of the Reddit moderator rebellion was: Stay the course and ignore
your users.  Huffman was right.  The complainers were just noise.  If you want
companies to listen, it requires more than noise."
    --Freakazoid

"Today we celebrate the birth of Sir Isaac Newton.  Without his invention of
calculus we would have no way to stop people who are bad at math from becoming
engineers."
    --Scott Flowers

"Actually, my ancestors would want me to take a nap right now.  They'd be,
like, hell yeah, no one is trying to kill you or anything??  You don't have to,
like, flee on a boat?  Your belly is full and it's a beautiful day?  That's
sick, babe!  And so really I am honoring them."
    --Danielle Weisberg

"Remember: A functioning government requires functioning citizens.  Please
report to your nearest polling station and vote correctly this time.  Don't
make me deploy the kinetic happiness drones again."
    --Friend Computer

"People have said ''Don't cry'' to other people for years and years, and all
it has ever meant is, ''I'm too uncomfortable when you show your feelings.
Don't cry.''  I'd rather have them say, ''Go ahead and cry.  I'm here to be
with you.''"
    --Mr. Rogers

"God does not need your protection or defense.  The poor, the vulnerable, the
marginal, the hurt, and the oppressed do."
    --Rev. Benjamin Cremer

"At a distance, be courageous.  Up close, be practical."
    --Stefan Prohosh, _Mission: Impossible - The Phoenix_

"Rather than calming the waters, my admission stirred some people up even more.
It ultimately resulted in me canceling the game due to unbridled hostility on
the forum over their inability to grasp a simple concept, such as not all play
implies winners and losers.  Sometimes, it can be about playing for the simple
joy of playing."
    --Joseph Matheny

"I especially love the emails asking if I am really a cat (no, I'm not a cat
but if it's important for you to talk to one I'm pretty sure we can work
something out, my Monero address is *here*)."
    --sizeof(cat)

"The future is distributed, which means the future involves a lot more agency
for a lot more people than some in AI policy are planning for."
    --Jack Clark

"Unfortunately, the webring [Yesterweb] has become popular and well-known
enough that I have seen our webring advertised on Reddit and Hackernews as a
'great webring to join to boost your SEO and build up your backlinks.'  It
made me realize how many people viewed the webring as a kind of billboard they
could add their site to, in order to get it more clicks, without otherwise
participating or interacting with the members.  I remembered "big" webrings
feeling this way back in the day, and that's not something I'm interested in
replicating.  At some point it just loses its meaning."
    --Sadness, on why the Yesterweb Webring was shut down in 2023

"Huh!  Hmm."
    --NileRed

"Las Vegas is a city of opportunities.  For fucking around and finding out."
    --Sarah

"It's really annoying that, when I see an obscure but suspicious looking piece
of possible misinformation being posted to social media often the only
critical sources I can find are behind paywalls.  The misinformation pieces
are themselves inevitably free."
    --Kit Arvizu

"The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and
fallout.  There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices,
to be found only in the minds of men.  For the record, prejudices can kill,
and suspicion can destroy.  And a thoughtless, frightened search for a
scapegoat has a fallout all of its own for the children, and the children yet
unborn.  And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to the
Twilight Zone."
    --Rod Serling, _The Twilight Zone_, s01e22

"If you can't wrap your head around a bar or club as a sanctuary, you've
probably never been afraid to hold someone's hand in public."
    --Jeramey Kraatz

"You might become disoriented, this is to be expected as this freaking game
was written in CSS.  Press start to begin your mission."
    --Cascade of Duty

"The last month has taught me that apparently all the Geneva convention is
really good for is getting indie games to change a red medical cross to some
other medical cross and that it can do fuck all about actual war crimes."
    --tiergan-vashir

"Look, 8pm-3am is when I am most creative, and if our culture has decided to
deprive itself of me at my best, that's a choice, but you don't get to complain
that I'm putting that energy to my own projects and half-assing the rest."
    --Hasufin

"All conspiracy theories, from the relatively banal to the bugnutty batshit
crazy, all have the same fundamental postulates underlying them: That there is
something wrong with the world.  That the thing that is wrong with the world
is artificial.  That the source of the artificial wrong in the world is
personal - that is, that there is *someone* or *someones* behind it, who is/are
advancing an agenda.  That those behind the agenda operate in secret, keeping
the masses ignorant.  Well... only number 4 is actually *wrong*.  There is
something wrong with the world.  The thing wrong with the world *is*
artificial.  The source of the wrong *is* personal.  But the people behind the
agenda do not operate in secret.  They do their business in broad daylight, in
boardrooms and offices, at desks and in coffee shops.  What is wrong with the
world is capitalism, and it does not need to hide itself.  Capitalists operate
openly, believing themselves the natural rulers of Earth."
    --Studio 8502

"I just threw an outline in the Nope pile after reading a novel that did a
similar idea better.  But I'll be picking at the bones of my book for other
projects.  That's why you should never throw anything away: You never know
when a setting or character will fit somewhere else."
    --Richard Kadrey

"For all of the faults of the 401(k) as a retirement system it has been quite
effective at getting middle class Americans to conflate their interests with
those of the actual rich."
    --Chris Adams

"Consumers - that is, normal people who have to worry about things like the
price of eggs and elections and getting sick and going on dates and catching
up on the latest Marvel movie - showed that they really could not care less
about the Singularity.  FTX's collapse rivaled Enron's in scale yet had almost
no meaningful effect on the economy.  The challenge with trying to create a
parallel reality is that there's pretty much nothing in this reality to induce
people to care about whether it succeeds or fails."
    --Emily Gorcenski

"When we lived in public housing, my mom started a community garden to grow
food to save money and to occupy the kids that lived there, and the public
housing authority came and pulled out all the plants, and poured bleach into
the ground to destroy it.  Because gardens weren't allowed."
    --Kaitlyn Greenidge

"Elon has lost his wife, his kids, 40 billion dollars, and his space ship
crashed.  It's like a genre of country music that doesn't even exist yet."
    --Zach Reinert

"People who don't understand the difference between etymology and entomology
bug me in ways I can't put into words."
    --Mostly Harmless

"The thing we have to be careful of, and I always caution myself on this, and
I ran into this trouble with Trump, is we cannot mistake absurdity for a lack
of danger.  Because it takes people with no shame to do shameful things.
Absurdity always makes you think something is more benign than it is.  I
misjudged Trump because he was so ridiculous."
    --Jon Stewart

"ACAB includes Elf on the Shelf."
    --Dr.Nick

"So you're telling me that arguably the most effective collective workers
action in Silicon Valley history was in support of the billionaire CEO at
OpenAI, a company founded to put people out of work."
    --Starchy

"Disappearing inside your own head and denying the truths of our collective
reality and then somehow using that as a means to critique ideology,
rationality, and ethics as the enemies of 'real anarchist action' is quite the
thing to do, but here we are."
    --Auntie Oedipus

"What I learned was this: What I wanted out of my computer when I really
*thought about it* was wildly different from what I used my computer for most
days.  The things I enjoyed doing on the computer were pretty different from
what I *did* with my computer."
    --Andrew Roach

"The [automatic machine/artificial intelligence] is not frightening because of
any danger that it may achieve autonomous control over humanity... Its real
danger is the quite different one that such machines, though helpless by
themselves, may be used by a human being or a block of human beings to
increase their control over the rest of the human race."
    --Norbert Wiener, _The Human Use of Human Beings_, 1950

"New study shows what studies have been confirming for decades: The majority
of the population has no impact on policy in the United States."
    --Maddiefuzz

"Are you actually lazy, or are you just looking at the combined creative
output of literally the entire Internet and then comparing yourself to that?"
    --Corey Brickley

"'How about a Care Bears reboot where they help young adults and millennials
deal with feelings of depression, disillusionment, and cynicism?'  2:30am.  I
groggily walk into the kitchen to see a small furred biped staring up at me
from the dark, whispering 'Be less cynical.'  I turn to grab a shovel but it
blasts me in the head with an energy beam.  I scream as it burns away the part
of my brain that knows about MK-ULTRA."
    --@cat_beltane

"Anything that CAN be done WILL be done if it brings advantage or profit to
those who can do it.  What CAN be done will NOT be done if it brings costs,
economic or otherwise, to those who can stop it."
    --A.C. Grayling

"Refusing to do a finite amount of good because one cannot do an infinite
amount of good is a morally perverse position."
    --Iain Banks

"Guys, this is such a fun idea!  I cannot believe people are in the replies
trying to explain to me why they think it is impractical!  The whole point of
computers is to do impractical things and see what happens!"
    --b0rk

"No pants, no masters."
    --Michael W. Lucas

History without discomfort is propaganda.

"I'd rather gargle broken glass than talk about the OpenAI nonsense, but I
hope we are all taking note of this practical demonstration of exactly what
feel-good 'we have a higher mission than money' corporate governance structures
are worth."
    --Keith Bolland

"People call things like Silent Hill horror games, but nothing is as
frightening as the idea of entire continents being rolled up into a katamari
at the whims of a capricious god king."
    --Caranatar

"Babies are a scam perpetuated by Big Ear Infection to get you to buy more
amoxicillin."
    --Stefan Thinks

"What can be explained by dark conspiracies about Microsoft censoring criticism
can also be explained by the OP getting tired of transphobic hate and deleting
the post to protect their sanity."
    --Xe

"In our holy economic models, there is no room for citizens or members of any
community, there is only the self-interested, profit maximizing individual, who
is constantly searching for personal gains over others.  Led to believe that
there may only be winners if there are also losers - and nobody wants to be a
loser."
    --Michael Hertig

"Unironically stating you have a death wish followed by a shrug emoji, in
response to a comment about risky sex practices, is the most accurate
description of modern life I have ever seen."
    --jasenzero1

"Remember to always check the polarity of your cat before doing any serious
ham radio work."
    --Save It For Parts

"To some degree, the whole point of the tech industry's embrace of 'ethics'
and 'safety' is about reassurance.  Companies realize that the technologies
they are selling can be disconcerting and disruptive; they want to reassure
the public that they're doing their best to protect consumers and society.  At
the end of the day, though, we now know there's no reason to believe that
those efforts will ever make a difference if the company's 'ethics' end up
conflicting with its money.  And when have those two things ever not
conflicted?"
    --Lucas Ropek

"I once ended up sleeping on the couch for a week because I was in bed
grinding on implementing GTK+ into Pharo (a Smalltalk implementation), and at
0445, I was struck by inspiration, leaped up, shouted 'PThreads!' and rushed
back into my home office to code.  To paint a better picture, I was naked as a
jaybird at the time and my version of a shout can rattle windows.  Very few
women will tolerate a six foot naked ginger screaming about pre-emptive
multithreading at nearly five in the morning."
    --Studio 8502

"I'm not a mentat, I'm in the bathroom on Reddit."
    --HiddenCity

"Digging around I can't find a fix.  I no longer understand how one is
supposed to configure Grafana to use an https-offloading reverse proxy."
    --asciifaceman

"Always learn from other peoples mistakes, from a safe distance."
    --Well Read Redneck

"We are cats, intricacies such as 'why' do not concern us."
    --SiegedSec

"Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel
peace prize."
    --Tom Lehrer

"Atheism is what happens when you read the bible.  Christianity is what happens
when somebody else reads it for you."
    --Bertrand Russell

"The 16y/o just explained Rust borrowing to me.  People, I cannot warn you
enough: Keep a close eye on what your kids are doing on the Internet."
    --Matthew Green

"As for you and in particular for your great country, I never believed for a
moment that you would have this sentiment of abandoning a people which has
chosen liberty.  You have refused us your protection and we can do nothing
about it.  You leave and it is my wish that you and your country will find
happiness under the sky.  But mark it well that, if I shall die here on the
spot and in my country that I love, it is too bad because we all are born and
must die one day, I have only committed this mistake of believing in you, the
Americans."
    --Sirik Matak, former royal prince of Cambodia, executed by the Khmer
      Rouge after the United States abandoned the country

"I'd trust a sociopath over a psychopath any day, 'coz they won't be swayed by
emotions."
    --El Jefe

"I think the Fallout trailer is okay, but seeing 'FROM THE STUDIO THAT BROUGHT
YOU FREE 2-DAY SHIPPING' is the most dystopian capitalist art destroying shit
I think I've ever seen."
    --Johanna

"I was very insecure about making this sound.  It terrified me... to sing so
soft and vulnerable and almost naked."
    --Julee Cruise (rip)

"You fucking bet I'm going to reach for an emulator and disk images these days!
I would even if the prices of the actual hardware hadn't been vastly
overinflated by the rich arseholes who insist that it only counts if it hurts,
and the damn fools who listen to them.  Retro is a spirit, it's not a
qualification."
    --Millihertz

"As someone who built his C64 from an unpopulated PCB with a soldering iron,
and is currently working on making a Gotek 1581 drive, people who gatekeep
retro can suck my bollocks."
    --Studio 8502

"Artificial Intelligence, n.  Branch of computer science theorizing since 70
years ago that intelligent machines are 3-5 years away."
    --Thomas Fuchs

"Every poster thinks they are casually sharing their passing thoughts.  Every
replier thinks they are critiquing a manifesto."
    --Drew Toothpaste

"Being in infosec for so long takes its toll.  I've come to the conclusion
that, if you give a data point to a company, they will eventually sell it,
leak it, lose it, or get hacked and relieved of it.  There really don't seem
to be any exceptions, and it gets depressing."
    --Brian Krebs

"There's nothing scarier than a silent data center."
    --MrMrRubic

"We have to blur some of the faces of persons who participated in the events
of that day because we don't want them to be retaliated against and to be
charged by the DOJ."
    --House Speaker Mike Johnson, on securicam footage of 6 January 2021

"The problem with the modern internet is we don't have ten billion websites
where people with extremely niche interests catalog every bit of info about
the weirdest possible shit like 'bios of every weather person on The Weather
Channel' and 'list of fonts used on The Weather Channel,' yet decades later
some other weirdo like me needs those fonts and I have to get lucky enough to
find the URL for this website to wayback it because there's nobody making new
ones.  We used to have... so much information... about everything..."
    --Lori

"I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go communist due to
the irresponsibility of its people.  The issues are much too important for the
Chilean voters to be left to decide for themselves."
    --Henry Kissinger

"Hotdog flotation device!"
    --Arcus

"Communicators are perceived as possessing the very traits they describe in
others."
    --John Skowronsky and Donal Carlston, spontaneous trait transference

"You got coding problems, I feel bad for you, son.  I got 98 problems 'cuz I'm
off by one."
    --Andrew Plotkin

"Nothing can humble the security architecture of a Fortune 500 company like a
bored teenager with something to prove."
    --Steve Troughton-Smith

"Lord of the Rings was about wish fulfillment and fantasy.  The fantastical
elements weren't magic and wizards and dragons.  It was about having a clear
goal, a mission which was relevant to winning, being given the tools you
needed to do the job, provisions which would nourish you, and ultimately
seeing a victory that mattered.  It was about war, but it was about the war
Tolkien wished to have seen."
    --Hasufin

"If you suggest I start making a to-do list, I will sit down right now and
invent a brand new Blunt Object Transfer Protocol (botp://) expressly for the
purpose of punching you, personally, in the face over the goddamn Internet.  I
will even credit you in the patent application."
    --Circe Rowan

"I think I'm beginning to realize why sports are so important.  When people
aren't given an outlet to have blind loyalty to something innocuous, they have
blind loyalty to more serious shit that gets people killed."
    --Matt Sicker

"If an uncontacted tribe tells you to fuck off, YOU FUCK. OFF."
    --Cactuar Joe

"Address the systemic factors driving giant kaiju invasions, don't just address
the kaiju as they happen."
    --jonny

"Time for your annual reminder that, according to _A Christmas Carol_, Bob
Cratchit makes 15 shillings a week.  Adjusted for inflation, that's
$530.27/week, $27,574/year, or $13.50/hour.  Most Americans on minimum wage
earn less than a Dickensian allegory for destitution."
    --Dr. Chris Thompson

"Those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it.  Yet, those who do
study history are doomed to stand by helplessly while everyone else repeats
it."
    --Tom Toro, cartoon in the New Yorker

"What doesn't kill you makes everyone around you call you brave, while not
addressing the thing that almost killed you."
    --Astrid

"Keygen chiptune is the evolution of sea shanties: Music that plays while you
pirate."
    --Aronia

"The rich know exactly how to exploit our weaknesses and pit us against each
other, and they're doing it so that we'll be less trouble, fewer mouths to
feed, fewer resources spent.  The tech elite don't want us to dream.  They
don't want us to daydream.  They don't want us to create.  They don't want us
to love."
    --OK, Doomer.

"The billionaires investing in space travel don't want Star Trek.  They want
Dune."
    --April Daniels

"I thought 'Oh man, I really want a piece of postapocalyptic media where the
bondage weirdos are the heroes and the villians are neonazis' and then I
realized that was just _The Invisibles_."
    --enkiv2

"So much dick.  Don't acknowledge it.  Just let it go by.  Otherwise it will
destroy our civilization."
    --Deuce, _Jerkcity_

"For over 60 years now, the world has been rigged with an elaborate
infrastructure that can effectively end civilization on a moment's notice,
whether by deliberate command or mistake.  It's never been used.  You might
find that to be reassuring proof of the fundamental rationality of world
leaders and the robustness of nuclear command and control systems.  Or you
might wonder at what point our unreasonably good luck will run out."
    --Matt Blaze

"No humanity, only KPIs."
    --Alun Jones

"You don't teach, you just instigate chaos."
    --Boimler, _Star Trek: Lower Decks_

"The Buddha said that clinging to the impermanent is the source of all
suffering, which makes me believe the Buddha never took one square to the
nuts."
    --Monkeyborg

"Unions: Because it's very unlikely three spirits will appear and scare your
boss into doing the right thing."
    --IATSE

"One disorienting thing about getting older is that nobody tells you about how
weird it feels to get a really passionate, extremely wrong lecture from a
much younger person about verifiable historical events you can personally
remember pretty well."
    --Brittany Wilson

"Did you know that licking toads cures depression?  But twenty minutes later
the toad is depressed again."
    --John Shirley

"Not surprised to see that Christianity is now the last refuge of a scoundrel."
    --Myles Ryden

"Remember when smartphones didn't exist and you could be in bed at 11 at night
and not be at work?  That was great."
    --Brianna Wu

"Here's thing about the state of AI.  I am completely certain that the worst
case scenarios everyone's panicking about will not come true.  I am equally
certain that whatever happens will be worse."
    --Lore Sjoberg

"It's a dangerous thing to mistake speaking without thought for speaking the
truth."
    --Benoit Blanc, _Glass Onion_

"I think we underestimate how many people are hanging on by a single, fraying
thread and how, some days, the only thing saving them/us from the abyss is the
small comforts of a TV show that feels like home, a book that tells you you're
not alone, or a pet that needs you."
    --Maria Haskins

"Got no problems with goths at all.  I stand!"
    --Ice-T, hanging out with Siouxie Sioux at Lollapalooza 1991

"Seeing the uses real people are giving to AI, it makes me think that
_Terminator_ was a remarkably optimistic movie."
    --Dragoniff

"In hacking, as in witchcraft, the steps are: To know, to will, to dare, to
shut the fuck up about it."
    --Kit Rhett Aultman

"I was an exec at Mozilla when Google decided that the browser was too critical
to be run by a nonprofit they don't control  Sounds a lot like Microsoft and
OpenAI today.  This is an unstable structure at its core.  Hope all my friends
over there are doing okay."
    --Mike Schroepfer

"The results of the Employee Safety Survey are back.  We will break down the
results in section meetings soon, but from a high level standpoint the results
indicate that nobody feels safe.  This is consistent with Mr. Lofwyr's
management philosophy to increase vigilance and attention to detail.  Nice
work, everyone!"
    --Memos from Lofwyr

"Never punched a Nazi before.  Felt pretty good."
    --Ben, _Quantum Leap: Secret History_

"You are living through collapse.  It's okay to feel a sense of dread and
anxiety.  It's okay to feel fear.  It's okay if you don't feel like hanging
out with old friends who want to cosplay 2019.  It's okay to sit alone in the
dark, not thinking about anything.  You have to deal with the moral injury
that comes from realizing that many of your friends and family don't care
enough about you to do a few simple things.  It's okay."
    --OK, Doomer.

"How is the OpenAI board gonna fire Sam Altman just because he gave answers
that sounded plausible but weren't actually accurate?"
    --Anil Dash

"If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored
man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket.  Hell, give him somebody to
look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you."
    --Lyndon B. Johnson

"Environmental determinists have an unfortunate tendency to treat humans as
little more than automata, living out some economist's fantasy of rational
calculation."
    --David Graeber and David Wengrow, _Dawn of Everything_

"In order for me to write poetry that isn't political, I must listen to the
birds.  And in order to hear the birds, the warplanes must be silent."
    --Marwan Makhoul

"Folks on Fox are panicking over a Black disabled Santa.  I can understand why.
As anyone who grew up in the internment camps knows, Santa isn't Black.  That
MF is Japanese."
    --Geoge Takei

"After 40 years of neoliberalism, there's a growing recognition that the
market's invisible hand would like to swat you like a bug." 
    --Cory Doctorow

"In America you don't say 'I lack empathy and basic critical thinking skills,'
you say ''I'm just not political,'' which means ''I am so privileged that
politics has never been personal for me, so I'm not engaged and I think it
makes me smarter than people who are.''  Isn't that amazing?"
    --@Dumphim2017

"If buying is not owning, piracy is not stealing."
    --Al Sweigart

"Now they're estimating over 13 hours of outage.  Five nines?  They're not
even up to two nines."
    --Michael Paoli, on Comcast Business' latest outage

"Maybe we are licked as a species... We are too shit to get out act together."
    --Boris Johnson

"I am finding that a number of people reject any application of determinism to
human affairs - the insulting notion that we might be subject to dynamics
beyond our awareness or control.  As with many things these days, I tend to
suspect such reactions as stemming from a sense of human supremacy: 'Surely we
humans have transcended base forces and bring full agency to all that we
do...'"
    --Tom Murphy

"The mission is the protection of property, not the preservation of the
freedoms of the people.  Royalist concentrations of wealth remain at liberty
to do as they please - to poison rivers, cut down forests, charge cruel rates
of interest, deny medical care, repudiate debt, eliminate species.  Commonplace
human beings, by nature untrustworthy, await instructions about where and how
and when they walk the walk or talk the talk."
    --Lewis Lapham

"The Onion speaks with more courage, insight, and moral clarity than the
leaders of every academic institution put together."
    --Michael Eisen

"There's a perception problem where you forget that things used to be hard now
that they're easy.  For instance years ago a friend and I spent months trying
to get reverse proxies to work.  And they never did, now we both see them as
trivial to set up.  We have a saying that they 'went from impossible to
obvious,' and that happens a lot in this field."
    --Psychological_Try559, on self-hosting and system administration

"I'm covering life and death issues, serious tragedies, serious momentous
occurrences here in Israel.  And, of course, we have to interrupt this for one
moment to cover the complete and utter clown car that is the House Republican
speaker's race back in Washington, DC.  Was Congressman Emmer too sane?"
    --Jake Tapper, live on CNN, 24 October 2023

"So I get email asking why it's not possible to decrypt some EDI [electronic
data interchange] financial messages (it was a problem with the RSA key
transport section, not the later symmetric crypto part).  They send me one of
the messages and dumpasn1 reveals [hex dump omitted]... For those who can't
read AlgorithmIdentifiers, that's 40-bit RC2, circa 1987.  Being used today,
in financial EDI.  I suggested they just ignore the RSA part and brute-force
the 40-bit key on each message."
    --Peter Gutmann
      (https://www.metzdowd.com/pipermail/cryptography/2023-October/038222.html)

"Mature doesn't mean absolutely effective.  Mature means decisions made half a
century ago are about as valid today as when they were made.  In a mature
technology your decision making doesn't need constant revision in light of
changes in the underlying technology."
    --Ray Dillinger

"Chrome exists to serve Google search, and if it cannot do that because it is
regulated to be set by the user, the value of users using Chrome goes to
almost zero."
    --Jim Kolotouros, vice president, Android Platform Partnerships, Google

"I no longer believe that I will get to live in the future I dreamed of when I
was growing up."
    --sizeof(cat)

"The only thing Wagner got wrong is whether the petrochemical companies need
journalists to exist on any terms but their own: They do not."
    --Rusty Foster

"Most of my efforts to assert my rights are indeed in vain.  Corporations will
not honor my right to assert via a Creative Commons license that my work should
only be redistributed or reused with attribution, for non-commercial purposes,
and released under the same terms.  I could perhaps attempt to enforce this
claim to rights in court, but 'equal justice under law' is a hollow farce
unless a deep-pocketed organization decides to use your case to establish a
new legal precedent or challenge an existing one."
    --Matthew Graybosch

"There's an attitude in American culture especially that having factual
knowledge of a problem makes someone more culpable for that problem than
someone who hasn't researched it but is *very mad* at it.  And it's really
screwing a lot of things up."
    --Amberite

"Seiden's Rule of Thumb, proven over a very large number of physical security
reviews, is that 10% of the physical security controls do not currently work,
and a large proportion of these never worked properly in the first place."
    --Mark Seiden

"Safety regulations are there because businesses see workers as expendable."
    --Polyamorous Misanthrope

"This is modern-day pirate shit, as close as you can get.  You succeed, and
now you're a genius.  Now you've outdone Google."
    --Cade Lee, professional SEO marketer, on SEO

"ISO 21482 is the international symbol for ''Stop whatever the hell you're
doing, get out of there, and if you're lucky you haven't signed your own death
warrant.''"
    --Simon Wheeler

"I can't teach people to care.  Once they start caring they'll learn what I
have tried to teach."
    --anonymousITCoward

"I don't care if Ron Desantis wears lifts in his shoes to compensate for an
inferiority complex.  I care that he's a fascist."
    --Jamie Schler

"It's fun that some folks think a secret group of rich people control
everything, instead of the widely known group of rich people that control
everything."
    --Solomon Georgio

"Yes, having MATLAB is a known issue."
    --Anonymous Cow-orker

"The War on Christmas cannot end until Christmas stops its illegal occupation
of November."
    --Classy Warfare

"The unknown is just how scared voters are of the unknown.  Will they stick
with the status quo, which nobody really likes, or seize the moment?  That
depends on whether the public still believes in its democratic, collective
ability to do big things together."
    --Ryan Grim

"When have the people who ban books ever been the good guys?"
    --Keri Lambert

"Other punk style music is about the future.  Sovietwave is about a lost future
that was once dreamed by the people."
    --chiefbig

"The entertainment industry has hijacked one of the most important of human
activities.  Storytelling.  Some of us, me included, will no longer hand over
the results of one of the most sacred rites, our stories, to the giant
parasite that I half-jokingly call Mouseferatu.  Of course, it's not only
Disney but the big D is a perfect icon for what I oppose."
    --Joseph Matheny

"Capital punishment?  Them without the capital get the punishment."
    --John Spenkelink

"Humanitarian law is to be respected, especially in Gaza.  Please, let no more
innocent blood be shed, neither in the Holy Land nor in Ukraine, nor in any
other place!  Enough!  Wars are always a defeat, always!"
    --Pope Francis
      (This is considered a controversial statement in 2023.ev.)

"I recommend discarding the left-right ideological spectrum entirely, and
instead just study reality.  The world needs realistic, sensible people, not
ideologues."
    --xena_lawless

"Without the mustache, I really did look like a twelve year old."
    --Arcus

"We're gonna need five guys and a giant robot."
    --Polychrome

"How old am I?  Gray enough (in both hat color and beard color) that when AT&T
crashed on January 15, 1990 I (like many other hackers) initially wondered if
I had done something to cause it."
    --Simple Nomad

"Hey, remember when the Panama Papers came out and revealed that all the rich
people in the world are part of an enormous criminal conspiracy to dodge
taxes and hoard stolen wealth in offshore accounts, and literally nothing
happened?"
    --Colin Taylor

"Trump is not counting on winning, he's counting on coming into power."
    --Tim Snyder

"Can someone at Google use their 20% project or whatever to write a search
engine?"
    --Lime With Barcode

"I personally hope that [Nigel] Farage's jungle adventure experience results
in a newly discovered species of leech being named in honor of his testicles."
    --Charles Stross

"Furious Ohio Republicans Report Widespread Incidents of Women Voting"
    --Andy Borowitz headline, meant as satire

"Market forces are such that even authenticity can become a commodity on
social media, to be ranked, rated, and sold."
    --Sister Dang Nghiem, _Flowers In the Dark_

"You'd need to strap a bunch of upconverters and downconverters and preamps
and all other sorts of '-verters' onto it, an antenna farm that might make the
HAARP array look like an anemic lawn ornamemt, and more coax than there is
spaghetti at an Olive Garden, but you could do it."
    --Well R3ad Redneck

"Pray to IRC, because God will not save us."
    --Foolish Owl

"Yes sir, that's correct, I have nearly 2 billion years of experience with
JavaScript.  My previous position was on Pangaea and all my references are
amoebas."
    --FiniteLooper, when told that maximum number of years of JavaScript
      experience they may have for a position is 9,999,999,999 years

"Quitting on time will usually feel like quitting too early."
    --Annie Duke

"I wish I was a child, I spoke as a child, I spoke as a one-legged unicorn
taking a leak at the seams between order and chaos, do you need?"
    --@hackermanifestov@botsin.space

"SBF [Sam Bankman-Fried] performed a valuable public service by illustrating
why you should shut the hell up, even if you think you can explain everything.
The evidence against SBF was likely very strong by itself, but it was also
likely confusing and rather technical.  SBF's public statements and testimony
did a terrific job of simplifying and distilling the case against him and
making it accessible to the average juror."
    --Matt Blaze

"If Gumby did not exist it would be necessary to create him.  Since he does
exist, it's currently necessary to destroy him."
    --Sean

"Usually when you ask somebody in college why they are there, they'll tell you
it's to get an education.  The truth of it is, they are there to get the
degree so that they can get ahead in the rat race.  Too many college radicals
are two-timing punks.  The only reason you should be in college is to destroy
it."
    --Abbie Hoffman

"I love the demoscene.  Eternally figuring out ways to do more and more with
less and less, when pretty much the entire software industry is doing the
precise opposite."
    --Millihertz

"A famous Klingon once said, 'We are what we pretend to be, so we must be
careful about what we pretend to be.'  Cruelty in jest is still cruelty.
Bigotry as irony is still bigotry.  Do not pretend to be that which you do not
want to be."
    --Coach Gowron

"The future wants you.  The future needs you.  The future will have you whether
you like it or not."
    --Welcome to Nightvale

"Nobody before or after this has culture.  Your mind has never existed on a
precipice of infinity.  To know actual, true awe in beholding a thing produced
at the same speed of your perception, that has never existed.  That was
impossible.  You are empty because you have never felt joy."
    --Swift On Security

"I know, in my deep place, one of you will be able to use this in game.  I
don't want to know the details.  Godspeed."
    --Xakk Zeliff

"If you ask for help on an electronics forum, the usual EE response is 'fuck
you, here are some differential equations to solve.'"
    --lcamtuf

"There's nothing wrong with or derogatory about autism, but using it as a
casual label for people who are interested in things you aren't is both
incredibly lazy and offensive in equal measure to autistics and everyone else.
Having knowledge and interests isn't a diagnosable condition."
    --Matt Blaze

"Remember, the teens who come to your door tonight are still trying to adjust
to leaving childhood behind.  Be kind.  They need the candy more than the
darling little ones."
    --Edelruth

"WW3 aint' happening.  Why can't everyone just chill?"
    --Jim Cramer

"Pretty sure Order 66 is where systemd takes off its mask and reveals its true
identity, svchost.exe."
    --Jerry Bell

"What shall we do with all this useless beauty?"
    --Elvis Costello

"The government/agency you want regulating cybersecurity is the same
government/agency that classifies Las Vegas casinos as critical
infrastructure."
    --Robert Graham

"Transcending past 'somebody is wrong on the Internet' into the peaceful void
between deep cynicism and total uncaring."
    --Brian Leroux

"If you rush headlong toward the future, you may despair when your path veers
away, even for a short time, from your goals.  Be patient.  It takes time for
you to become who you will be."
    --Coach Gowron

"Any man who has the brains to think and the nerve to act for the benefit of
the people of the country is considered a radical by those who are content with
stagnation and willing to endure disaster."
    --William Randolph Hearst

"You know the Mojo levels are high when the party host just parades around
wearing nothing but a bath robe."
    --Mark Shane Hayden

"No-fault divorce and equal pay laws are the only reason they don't know what
coffee tastes like when it's sweetened with antifreeze."
    --Janel Comeau

"The entire modern Internet starts melting down when about two dozen people,
most of whom are furries, stop answering pages for a few days.  Ever notice
that amazon.com, AWS and Azure is on the struggle bus every time Midwest
Furfest happens?  That's the Thursday through Monday of the first weekend in
December."
    --Baloo Uriza

"Most of you are familiar with the bombs that were dropped on Japan in World
War II.  This [smack] is the same bomb dropped on Nagasaki, August 9th, 1945.
About the same time, Dr. Edward Teller (who is known as the father of the
hydrogen bomb) figured out that a nuclear fusion bomb was possible.  Fusion
would release even more energy and cause an even bigger explosion from the same
amount of nuclear material.  Much to Dr. Teller's dismay, the Japanese
surrendered, we never dropped the hydrogen bomb, and Dr. Teller's been in a bad
mood ever since."
    --Bob Lazar

"Seeing someone posting something heartrending and having your first response
be ''better make sure I don't have a reason to hate this person before I
express any empathy'' is a reaction I hope you give some more consideration
to."
    --Jeff Craig

"An open-faced sandwich is a misclassified salad."
    --Enron Hubbard

"No clickbait title or thumbnail?  Very suspicious."
    --brunoqc

"It certainly was A Choice that AdGuard *FOR SAFARI* contains an entire copy
of 'Chrome/100.0.4896.160' inside it."
    --jwz

"You can aspire all you want.  Only one percent of you will be working as
opposed to just aspiring.  So maybe you should learn some stuff that's more
broadly useful.  That's helped me a lot."
    --Andrew Eldritch

"Look, it is a comic not a production-ready solution."
    --Kevin Cox

"The enemy is not the Muslim, the Christian, or the Jew, but stupidity itself".
    --Jihad Jerry

"Sometimes people do things to you that you can't do anything about.  You just
have to survive it and go on."
    --Murderbot, _Artificial Condition_

"Do not attempt to threaten deadly force against parties that control a vastly
larger array of deadly weaponry."
    --Philip Hallam-Baker

"You mean the movie where he literally died and they made him go back to work?"
    --Jay Decay, on _Robocop_

"I'm so scared of this anti-Wall Street effort.  I'm frightened to death.
They're having an impact on what the American people think of capitalism."
    --Frank Luntz, strategist for the Republican Party

"FreeBSD: Free BSD.  MacOS: Expensive BSD."
    --Astrid

"The loudest complainers of other people's work are contributing the least of
their own."
    --Rustic Cyberpunk

"The fog of war is bad, ya'll and the fake videos are getting better.  If you
see something... intense, upsetting, something that gives you an emotional
reaction and either solidifies your views or makes you question them... hit
pause.  I don't care how media savvy you are.  Especially if it's something
that confirms your worst fears.  Especially that one.  Hit pause.  Check the
sources.  Check them direct from the source site, don't trust thumbnails, or
watermarks."
    --myrmepropagandist

"As I noted recently, we have completely lost the sense of ground truth, and
there seems to be no path back to sanity.  Once again, the truthiness has been
exposed: No Virginia, There is No Sanity Clause."
    --Peter G. Neumann, moderator, the Risks Digest

"The best proof that I can come up with that the universe is fundamentally an
uncaring place devoid of any human sentiment is that Henry Kissinger is *still*
alive."
    --Dymaxion

"Man, there was a pit at a Toad the Wet Sprocket show once.  If there's a
critical mass of dipshits, it doesn't matter what the music is."
    --voidgazing

"Did you know that you're allowed to be sad about children being killed?  You
don't even need to explain your political beliefs to justify why you are sad
about children being killed.  Some people on the Internet may try to tell you
otherwise, but they are what we call 'not worth listening to.'"
    --Low Quality Facts

"A lot of the comments I've gotten today have a strong undertone of ''anyone
not as smart/tech savvy/careful/willing to study esoterica as I am doesn't
DESERVE privacy/security/reliability.''  This is a distressingly common
attitude in a lot of tech communities, and I strongly reject it.  It's toxic
and exclusionary, and any platform that hopes to grow into something usable at
scale needs to consciously move past it."
    --Matt Blaze

"If you think it's 'idiocy' that their side carefully, secretly and effectively
organized and coordinated their attacks on your side, that might be an insight
into why you keep losing to their side."
    --Geoff Berner

"Kinda weird how 'talking about the weather' went from inconsequential small
talk to dire discussion of the future of humanity."
    --Enron Hubbard

"My spouse describes Shiro as being demonic when he's at the vet.  I counter
that he is angelic.  Cherubic, in fact.  Biblically accurate cherub,
specifically: Having multiple faces, beautiful to behold, along with being
entirely able and willing to smite you."
    --Hasufin

"Stupid platform limitations beget stupid solutions."
    --Fluffy

"It really just takes about two generations for atrocities of the old to become
debatable and abstract.  We're seeing that with WWII."
    --lcamtuf

"Twitter users are the Americans of the Internet."
    --Lars From Mars

"I have never heard the clean radio edit of WAP before... How the fuck do you
make a 'clean' version that is somehow WAY filthier by simply avoiding all the
naughty words??"
    --Chrisshy Keygen

"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being
unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from
holding certain views which others find inadmissible." 
    --Carl Jung

"Surveying the progression of GOP leaders in the House of Representatives in
recent years, I understand better why Republicans have become skeptical about
evolution."
    --Mnemonic

"I deeply believe that you do not actually have to have a scorchingly viral
opinion about everything that happens, and you super definitely don't need to
share that opinion on the internet over and over again, and maybe, just maybe,
it might possibly be morally acceptable to just shut the fuck up sometimes."
    --Cat Valente

"Trigona is gone!  The servers of the Trigona ransomware gang has been
exfiltrated and wiped out.  Welcome to the world you created for others."
    --Ukranian Cyber Alliance

"Whenever we discuss a paper in my distributed systems class, I randomly split
people into six groups and they spread out around the building to talk, while
I walk from group to group.  The groups are different every time.  But so far,
every time, I'm able to find five groups, while the sixth group goes off
somewhere and I can't find or communicate with them until they eventually
wander back to the classroom five minutes late.  I feel this is rather
appropriate for a distributed systems course."
    --Lindsey Kuper

"Live your life in such a way that the entire world isn't excitedly holding
its breath waiting for you violate the fuck out of your gag order."
    --Jeff Tiedrich

"Right-wing conspiracy theories are completely detached from reality.  Left
wing conspiracy theories are things the CIA will admit to in 20 years."
    --trixter

"The inability to imagine how ancient peoples completed highly technical
projects without advanced machinery is indicative of worker's alienation, not
aliens."
    --Dr. Holly Walters

"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when
there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."
    --Terry Pratchett

"Techfuckery is currently our best defense against enshittification."
    --frigginGlorious

"Not directly influenced by owt specific, but I feel like we need to remind
people that 'raised by 4chan' isn't a character trait to be proud of."
    --Jo

"A pathology of conservatism is that 'things used to be simple.'  No, you used
to be a kid.  Your parents shielded you from life's complexity.  Things are
complex because you're an adult now.  Conservatism is the desire to be a
child."
    --Cory Doctorow

"There is a DS2 [Dark Souls 2] speedrun called hrt%, in which you get to the
gender-changing coffin as fast as possible."
    --Eleanor

"Funny thing about 'issues,' you don't have them until you do."
    --Ray Wells

"I am not annoyed at people calling out public figures on their politics.  I
am annoyed at the presumption that, with everything going on in the world, I
should concern myself at all with the political views of a crooning haircut."
    --SqualorTrawler, on musicians' politics

"We were noticing an exponential increase in a certain kind of dysfunction
going on.  And we labeled it.  I didn't really think that we'd go where we
went, because de-evolution is real.  And this is beyond my worst dystopian
nightmare."
    --Jerry Casale

"Your reliance on god is the reason why he can punish you to test you."
    --laudarch

"When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface.  Whatever goes on
beneath has my respect but it's none of my business."
    --Big Nose Lover

"If you see a good idea, look for a better one.  Good thinking is a matter of
making comparisons."
    --Bruce Pandolfini, chess master

"Arrogance can be justified, but I believe it is rarely wise."
    --Calafin

"I believe this specific type of alert cannot be disabled in the US.  This is
the ''Dear taxpayer, nuclear war has just broken out and you're gonna die
horribly, but we wanted you to have some time to have regrets'' alert."
    --Ryan McGinnis

"Because you're allowed to do something doesn't mean you can do it without
repercussions.  In this case, the consequences are very much on the mild side:
If you use LLMs or diffusion models, a relatively small group of mostly mid-
to low-income people who are largely underdogs in their respective fields will
think you're a dick."
    --Baldur Bjarnason 

"The profusion of dubious AI-generated content resembles the badly made
stockings of the nineteenth century.  At the time of the Luddites, many hoped
the subpar products would prove unacceptable to consumers or to the government.
Instead, social norms adjusted."
    --Kyle Chayka 

"That was my fatal mistake: I was writing parsing code assuming this shit made
any fucking sense."
    --Foone

"If China's early 20th century literati sought to expel ghosts from literature
for being nonhuman, Mao's [Zedong] reading went in the opposite direction.
Ghosts in literature were not manifestations of the supernatural, but metaphors
for various real and very human political enemies.  To defeat literary ghosts
became an allegory for frightening off your political enemies."
    --Fu Mengxing

"I am starting to suspect that Google is intentionally failing to police their
own email service as part of a multifaceted effort to kill SMTP off completely.
I get so much spam from legitimate gmail accounts anymore."
    --Nuintari

"I think a lot about an essay by Jonathan Z. Smith, one of the deans of
religious studies in America, about Jim Jones and Jonestown.  He states there
that it's easy to use words like 'insane' to describe what happened at
Jonestown - but in a sense that's abdicating the basic premise of the
humanities as a discipline, which is to understand."
    --Matthew B. Bowmann

"If peaceful demonstrations worked, you wouldn't have a right to them."
    --IWantToSortMyFeed

"I think the best road ahead to human happiness is to expect less."
    --Charlie Munger, billionaire, age 99

"I do fucking hate the poor, and I hate poor people and I hate poverty and I'm
sick of lying about it.  I'm not gonna pretend that I don't."
    --Nick Fuentes

"Remember in that movie Independence Day when they hacked the aliens?  I used
to think that was a silly plot device, but every day looking at our own
security, I see that being more and more plausible."
    --DoWhile

"If we don't make the effort we will live in a very small box of experiences."
    --Few-Worldliness2131

"The cool thing about cyberpunk coming true is that we got ALL the cyberpunk
futures.  China: Universal surveillance and social control.  America: Cool
gadgets and staggering inequality.  Russia: Shadowy plots, covert ops, and
assassins.  Japan: Japan."
    --Noah Smith

"Disobedience cannot be tolerated, whether it be violent or nonviolent
disobedience."
    --William Rehnquist

"We need to see unemployment rise.  Unemployment has to jump 40-50%, in my
view.  We need to see pain in the economy.  We need to remind people that they
work for the employer, not the other way around.  There's been a systematic
change where employees feel the employer is extremely lucky to have them, as
opposed to the other way around.  So, it's a dynamic that has to change.  We've
got to kill that attitude, and that has to come through hurting the economy,
which is what the whole global - the world - is trying to do.  The governments
around the world are trying to increase unemployment to get that to some sort
of normality, and we're seeing it.  I mean, there is definitely massive layoffs
going off.  People might not be talking about it, but people are definitely
laying people off, and we're starting to see less arrogance in the employment
market.  And that has to continue because that will cascade across the costs
balance."
    --Tim Gurner, founder and CEO, Gurner Group

"Welcome to Hacking 101, lesson 1: We do things to see if we can, not because
we have a reason."
    --Crafty-Crafter

"At this point, trying to get games working on Linux has become easier than
trying to get telemetry to stop working on Windows."
    --ddh

"I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half."
    --Jay Gould, US financier, railroad tycoon

"There's a difference between laughing with and laughing at.  And I think we
all know that."
    --Chuck Tingle

"We should not have to rely on the benevolence of for-profit corporations to
protect our rights.  It's not their job, and it shouldn't be."
    --Bruce Schneier

"The ONLY thing you hear on the news.. any news.. are bad things(tm).  War,
corruption, you name it.  We still should be thankful we still call these
things news because often it feels like it would be more newsworthy if
politicians weren't corrupt, or not kept their promises, or screwed another
group of people over."
    --Joshua Thijssen

"Greebled for her pleasure."
    --Mavica

"The biggest problem with the cloud is that the computers now know we cannot
physically get at them with an axe.  And they are behaving accordingly."
    --Abstract Code

"Terrible people are not just terrible in one way.  Rather, they are generally
terrible and do many different terrible things."
    --Jack William Bell

"It ought always to be remembered that literary institutions are founded and
endowed for the common good, and not for the private advantage of those who
resort to them for education.  It is not that they may be enabled to pass
through life in an easy or reputable manner, but that their mental powers may
be cultivated and improved for the benefit of society."
    --Joseph McKeen, President, Bowdoin College, 1802

"Open Source projects either die a failure or survive long enough to become a
security risk."
    --Evan Prodromou

"I am so tired of living like it's the 1600's.  Can I afford eggs at the
market?  Are my friends gonna die in the plague?  Puritans are coming for my
sinful lifestyle.  I want some modern problems.  Modern problems!"
    --Sigurd the Mighty

"How does one become a LinkedInfluencer?  If it's this easy to sway the CEOs
of the largest companies of the world, just imagine the sheer number of funny
things you could make them do."
    --Astrid

"I'd be a lot more willing to believe the whole 'what if reality is a
simulation?' hypothesis if I didn't know speedrunners.  The world can't be a
simulation, because no autistic trans girl has figured out how to jump
backwards so fast that she breaks the laws of physics and becomes the queen of
America."
    --Foone

"I'm not an expert, but it occurs to me that if the NHI [non-human
intelligneces] start their invasion in Oakland, they might not be thrilled
with the outcome.  'Welcome, to Oakland, bitch!'"
    --The Zinger Slinger

"Stare not into the void lest you become known as the void domain expert."
    --Unknown

"The Burning Man crisis is a perfect scenario for these folks, stranded
together and running out of basic necessities, to demonstrate the power of
the Blockchain."
    --Alex Winter

"Everything goes down sometime.  If something being down doesn't result in me
getting a text message with a Zoom link, all is good."
    --Gary

"Same derriere, different cheek."
    --Bob Jamieson

"For every meeting that could've been an email, there's a Youtube tutorial
that could've been a README.md."
    --Privileged White Mail

"The enemy of my enemy is not always my friend.  Such may be an ally, but
friendship requires that someone stands with me against my enemies not because
of who my enemy is, but because of who I am.  Be worthy of such friends."
    --Coach Gowron

"Republicans believe that life begins at conception and ends at birth."
    --Barney Frank

"Doing a thing can sometimes save hours of thinking about it."
    --Alun Jones

"I'm a Gen Xer, so I adapt to new technology like a Millennial but get angry
about it like a Boomer."
    --@TheCatWhisperer

"Identity politics has been cultivated, because it does not threaten capital."
    --Thomas Cherryhomes

"We learned from Kent State that rebellion is obsolete.  If the government
doesn't agree with you, and you become too big of a pain in the butt for them,
they just push you back down and shoot."
    --Mark Mothersbaugh

"Rights are only worth anything with guarantor willing to expend resources to
enforce it.  If nobody's lifting a finger, they're either a privilege for some,
or void entirely."
    --Just A Frog

"If you're cold, pants might be a good start."
    --U Can Beat Video Games

"Books: Pissing people off since ancient days."
    --Rick Moen

"Much of the real world is controlled as much by the 'tails' of distributions
as by means or averages: By the exceptional, not the mean; by the catastrophe,
not the steady drip; by the very rich, not the 'middle class.' We need to free
ourselves from 'average' thinking."
    --Philip Anderson

"The fact that Nazis can walk through Florida without concern for their safety
while trans people have to flee the state should tell you everything you need
to know about today's Republican Party."
    --Elad Nehorai

"I might one day learn how ED.COM works.  Today is not that day."
    --Maddiefuzz

"All war is a symptom of man's failure as a thinking animal."
    --John Steinbeck

"Lot of sweaty gamer boys getting grumpy that I refuse to use mouse and
keyboard.  Sorry lads, I need my fingers and wrists for sex things -  if
playing the game was giving your dick an acheing pain after an hour you'd use
a controller as well."
    --CJ Bellwether

"Book deals are just one avenue for laundering the bribes and payoffs directed
to conservative politicians.  In the USA, books deals for the corrupt are
common.  Dark money groups often bulk-buy these tomes to game the best-seller
lists."
    --Nicole Parsons

"It's just so weird to me that not too long ago someone with a regular old job
could buy a house, like, an entire house with just their job money."
    --Danielle Weisberg

"Too many people don't appreciate what a massive effort it is to keep
civilization running.  Beware those who claim easy answers to the problems of
civilization, for they are bullshitting you."
    --Jurgen Hubert

"If the federal government had access to every email you've ever written and
every phone call you've ever made, it's almost certain that they could find
something you've done which violates a provision in the 27,000 pages of federal
statues or 10,000 administrative regulations.  You probably do have something
to hide, you just don't know it yet."
    	-- Moxie Marlinspike

"Someday I'm gonna reverse engineer a game and not want to time travel back to
its creation and ask them WHAT THE FUCK at gunpoint.  Sometimes I won't even
ask, I'll just start shooting."
    --Foone

"I needed a simple, low capacity USB 2.0 drive for interacting with Traditional
Technology and it was cheaper to add several to the cart until I reached the
free shipping threshold than to pay for the envelope."
    --0xabad1dea

"In the early 70s, the capital class stages a revolt of the rich against the
poor.  The post-World War II consensus had transferred too much wealth and too
much power to the working class, so the rich made it their mission to dismantle
that consensus and make sure it could never re-emerge.  First Nixon and then
Reagan built and institutionalized debt traps, slashed social spending,
annihilated labor unions, and poisoned the very idea that there was any such
thing as 'society' or that we could work together to solve our shared
problems."
    --Heavenly Possum

"A dirty book is rarely dusty."
    --anonymous

"When writing science fiction, always Google your made-up planet name; 9 times
out of 10, it's an existing yeast infection medication."
    --batkaren

"I really feel for the brilliant engineers who built these astounding, cheap
devices (HEPA, FFP3) capable of plucking microscopic viral particles from the
very air we breathe, only for everyone to be, like, 'Thanks, but no thanks,
give us some more of those viral particles.'"
    --Michael Osborne

"Some people want a leader so intensely they'll construct one out of whatever
and whoever happens to be around.  Someone says what they want to hear,
suddenly they're all ears, boosting their new savior, and donating online.
Throw in the social experience of believing with all the other needy people
and you have a powerful trap of peer pressure and sunk cost."
    --Rev. Xenofact

"I feel like I'm constantly taking crazy pills in this sub.  It feels like
everybody else here sees Homestuck as this really serious work of high art
that wants to be held to some kind of character consistency or something when
it isn't."
    --DarkMarxSoul

"According to my agent, I've lost out on enough money to pay off my mortgage
and fund my kid's college education by sticking to my principles, but they're
not principles if you don't stick to them."
    --Cory Doctorow

"Bats can hear shapes.  Plants can eat light.  Bees can dance maps.  We can
hold all of these ideas at once and feel both heavy and weightless with the
absurd beauty of it all."
    --CryptoNaturalist

"The United States is also a one-party state but, with typical American
extravagance, they have two of them."
    --Julius Nyerere, first president of Tanzania

"So while a middle class citizen would be able to take a day off here and there
to protest, or organize a strike at work to unionize, the current situation is
that if someone tries that, they lose their job, their home, their health
insurance, etc.  We've been beaten down, and gaslit for decades into thinking
it's for our own good somehow.  In that view, is it even slightly surprising
that some people, many people even, would just shut down and try to hold on to
what semblance of normalcy they have?  Not everyone is willing to make the big
sacrifices to better the world as a whole if it means their own way of life
would be ripped away from them before they even start making serious headway."
    --eragonawesome2

"I refuse to call it cyberpunk till my dong has surgically implanted contact
lenses."
    --latortillablanca

"Life is complicated.  It's filled with nuance.  It's unsatisfying.  If I
believe in anything, it is doubt.  The root cause of all life's problems is
looking for a simple answer."
    --Anthony Bourdain

"Nowadays, people working on XFS seem to spend most of their time on distro
kernel backports and dealing with AI-generated corner case bug reports that
aren't user reports.  Reviewing has become a nightmare of sifting through
under-documented kernel code trying to decide if this new feature won't break
all the other features.  Getting reviews is an unpleasant process of
negotiating with demands for further cleanups, trying to figure out if a
review comment is based in experience or unfamiliarity, and wondering if the
silence means anything."
    --Derrick Wong, stepping down as maintainer of XFS

"Do you really think that you are strong enough to remain sane when surrounded
exclusively by kooks who fully believe in some completely nonsensical set of
delusions that you knowingly created on a whim, without the opportunity of
even a vacation from your self-appointed, full-time role as messiah and
omniscient all-father?"
    --Peter Huston, _Scams from the Great Beyond_

"I never expected the statement 'I am just trying to avoid getting sick' being
widely viewed as radical, representative of mental illness, deserving of
ridicule, condemnation and scorn by friends and strangers alike."
    --Laurie Allee

"Error 418 came about as an April fools joke by the IETF back in 1998.  RFC
2324 was published on 1st of April 1998, describing a standard called Hyper
Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol (HTCPCP/1.0) that is an implementation for
controlling coffee machines over HTTP.  The whole RFC was basically a
demonstration for how to not use HTTP for insane applications.  Along with
this standard a new HTTP status code was standardised, HTTP 418 ''I'm a
Teapot,'' which is aptly used by said teapot when you ask it to brew coffee
using HTCPCP.  That the standard doesn't implement any support for teapots
isn't really explained, neither is the need for an unsupported teapot to
implement HTCPCP.  This was later rectified in 2014 by RFC 7168 which extends
HTCPCP to allow brewing of teas.  However, this being real standards means
that HTTP 418 is a very real standardised error.  This was later reaffirmed
back in 2015 by the save418.com movement when some dimwit with the mission to
eradicate any joy from the world got the bright spark to try and have 418
re-purposed for something more 'useful.'"
    --Grumpytechie

"You can say what you want in a blog post, everybody knows you can revert that
at will any time as long as it is in the terms of services."
    --prmoustache

"I wanted to put a reference to masturbation in one of the scripts for _The
Sandman_.  It was immediately cut by the editor (Karen Berger).  She told me,
''There's no masturbation in the DC Universe.''  To which my reaction was,
'Well, that explains a lot about the DC Universe.'"
    --Neil Gaiman

"Pretty remarkable to see Coinbase making the argument that crypto[-currency]
is not like stocks, it's like baseball cards, American Girl dolls, or Beanie
Babies.  It's the future of finance!  Except when the SEC comes knocking, then
it's just a harmless little toy, your honor."
    --Molly White

"Some people say we need a third party.  I wish we had a second one."
    --Jim Hightower

"There is no invasion, in QUATERMASS.  The troubled, dogged professor has
simply lived too long, and entered the modern condition: A world where there
is no forward motion, everything seems to be an iteration of something else,
and the lives of hundreds and thousands can be snuffed out at random by
something unseen and awful that nobody quite understands."
    --Warren Ellis

"Life is too damn short for everything to have some grand point."
    --Socketwench

"My only question is, why did they go to the trouble of ANIMATING _King of the
Hill_?  Could just as well have filmed my neighbors."
    --Rev. Ivan Stang

"Free speech is when you kick out all the journalists that are slightly more
left leaning than you and bring back racists, sexists, fascists, and human
traffickers."
    --krimsonbun, on Twitter

"No gods, no masters. Not even Qualcomm."
    --Unknown

"The perfect political action operation is, by definition, uneventful.  Nothing
'happens' in it.  It is a continuing arrangement, neither a process nor a
series of actions proceeding at a starting point and ending with a
conclusion."
    --Miles Copeland, _The Game Player: Confessions of the CIA's Original
      Political Operative_

"You can't talk about reality.  You can't share your thoughts and feelings
unless they align with the status quo of civility in the face of attitudes
that are destroying the planet.  That makes you negative."
    --Jessica Wildfire

"This is not a new world, it is simply an extension of what began in the old
one.  It has patterned itself after every dictator who has ever planted the
rippling imprint of a boot on the pages of history since the beginning of time.
It has refinements, technological advances, and a more sophisticated approach
to the destruction of human freedom.  But like everyone of the super-states
that preceeded it - it has one iron rule: Logic is an enemy and truth is a
menace."
    --Rod Serling

"These results are interesting because they appear to show a divergence between
elite opinion and popular opinion; most private company leaders are racing
with one another to aggressively develop and deploy AI systems and lock-in
various economic and ecosystem advantages, and many policymakers are adopting
policies to encourage the development of AI sectors.  Additionally, many well
paid technologists seem to subscribe to a libertarian-esque 'let it rip, all
gas and no brakes!' philosophy about AI development.  Yet this survey shows
that normal people are much more cautious in their outlook about the technology
and more likely to adopt or prefer a precautionary principle when developing
the tech.  If these views end up being transmitted to policymakers via their
constituents, then we might see more cautious tones creep into the policy
discourse as well."
    --Jack Clark

"Cryptography is a mixture of mathematics and muddle, and without the muddle
the mathematics can be used against you."
    --Ian Cassels, British mathematician, World War II cryptanalyst

"Watching the video of the judge processing the (presumed) Trump Georgia
indictment and now waiting for the Internet to claim that the charges are
invalid because the courtroom didn't have the correct flag or something."
    --Matt Blaze

"I can write down a few words and make people thousands of miles away, whom I
have never met and will never meet, laugh tears of joy and cry tears of true
sorrow for people who do not exist and have never existed and never will exist.
If that isn't actual, literal magic, I don't know what is."
    --Neil Gaiman

"I know enough furries who are only a couple of years of CRISPR development
away from getting a new law named after them."
    --Foone

"They're deprecating covid variants that are still live in production, next
they'll incorporate covid functionality into systemd.  Just you watch."
    --Ultros Professional

"Refrigeration basically is a sort of localised one-way time travel, as cooling
something down lowers the entropy in it, so as the arrow of time and the arrow
of entropy are essentially the same thing, it's reversing time locally."
    --Andrew Hickey

"I wish more lefties could internalize the idea that hypocrisy is not a
meaningful accusation to the right.  Of course they're being hypocrites.  That
you are bound, by rules, standards, logic, human decency, some fundamental
moral consistency, anything at all, and they are not?  That is their
conception of what power is, and why they seek it.  So they can exercise
power, without constraint, and you cannot.  That's the whole point.  Hypocrisy
is the virtue-signaling of fascism."
    --mhoye

"If Democrats really want justice for Trump's crimes, they should do the
ethical thing and arrange vacation trips, gifts and personal loans for the
judge overseeing his case."
    --Steven Rosenthal

"Seeing a lot of total noobs at Defcon walking around with zero protection to
a widely known vulnerability, just begging to get their systems infected with
a viral exploit from over three years ago.  Really disappointing because the
patch involves wearing a wicked cool face mask like a cyberpunk, though a
cheap N95 also works if you've already spent all your money on an anti-RFID
wallet or some other fancy everyday carry gizmo."
    --Jayne

"Kahless tells us that loss is a bitter cup we all must drink from
occasionally.  The grief of loss is the other side of deep love.  Love, no
matter the pain later, is never wasted.  When you feel the pain of loss,
remember the love as well, so those departed will live on forever."
    --Coach Gowron

"One criticism I have about most of the non-post left is that they seem to
live more in books and less in the real world.  Which is fine but this is not
how goals are achieved.  Nothing will change if you do nothing.  It's simple
as that.  Prophecies of the revolution are speculative fiction."
    --Elizafox

"Retro is hobby, and hobby is the point."
    --Breadbin

"The world is a shit show, but you have to stop and enjoy the little things,
or you will simply go insane."
    --Studio 8502

"After 8 years of daily tweeting one of the loudest, most candid voices coming
out of China has been deplatformed - absolutely no one gives a shit.  I could
be dead in a ditch - but we aren't actually people, we're just signs for
people like you in the West to wave at each other in their ideological war."
    --Naomi Wu

"I love the stock market, because when it goes up we get nothing, but when it
goes down we all lose our jobs.  Except during a pandemic; when it goes up and
we still lose our jobs."
    --Shoegaze Dad

"Abstract classes are a great way to feel productive without actually writing
any real code."
    --retr0id

"It's possible to keep a secret if nobody gives a damn."
    --Hasufin

"'Lufthansa group confirmed that 18,000 flights had been flown empty to keep
airport slots.'  Your personal carbon footprint is meaningless."
    --Eve Forster

"'Generic term' doesn't matter when you have lawyers."
    --Binder

"This docker container could've been a shell script."
    --Graham Sutherland

"As much as I loathe having to reveal this to you, the shapeliness of the hands
should be semi-negligible to most people who would love to have an image
created from the statement ''I want to see Billie Eilish's boobs''."
    --rhabarba

"I didn't know you could throw a whole jet out of a hotel window, but in
Russia apparently this is a thing."
    --ManyFacedGodxxx, on Yevgeny Prigozhin's plane going down

"At some point, to be effective activists on any level, we do have to play the
board as it lies, not just claim none of this would be a problem if we set
everything on fire and played an as-yet-uninvented game with no board at all."
    --Cat Valente

"The only thing I can guarantee is that both sides will find something to
attack me for in the comments.  Fucking pissants."
    --Qxir

"It isn't enough for a sole voice of reason to exist.  In this time of
uncertainty, we are so sure that villains lurk around every corner that we
will create them ourselves if we can't find them - for while fear may keep us
vigilant, it's also fear that tears us apart - a fear that sadly exists only
too often - outside the Twilight Zone."
    --Rod Serling

"The whole premise of most of my talks are 'I am an idiot, and so can you!'"
    --Deviant Ollam

"When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other."
    --Eric Hoffer

"Dear Microsoft, my PC has 8 physical cores running at 4GHz each, I feel like
it is up to the challenge of an interpreted programming language."
    --Jason Lefkowitz

"So, I know everyone's afraid of looking like a crazy person, but I can't
believe the new UFO report from the Pentagon isn't a bigger deal.  Our
government says there are crafts that 'outstrip our arsenal by at least 100
years to 1,000 years at the moment' and we're like 'meh.'"
    --Cabot Phillips

"Naming a cat Dijkstra, 'cuz he certainly knows the shortest path to food."
    --Maddiefuzz

"Men make their own history, but they do not make it as they please; they do
not make it under self-selected circumstances, but under circumstances existing
already, given and transmitted from the past."
    --Karl Marx

"Pretty weird how there's always a trillion dollars just laying around
whenever corporations need to be bailed out, but there's never any money when
children need healthcare or a simple school lunch.  Oh, well, just one of
those things, I guess."
    --Jeff Tiedrich

"I will never understand people who try to talk their friends or partners into
liking something.  Like, look, $friend is an adult in the USA in the 2020s,
they are aware that Marvel movies exist and have chosen not to watch them.
I don't think it's because they haven't had their merits explained fully."
    --Pagrus

"Listen most carefully to those whose voice is seldom heard, is downplayed or
suppressed.  The quietest words may be the most important for you to hear."
    --Coach Gowron

"I haven't been able to burn one thing in this game."
    --Arcus

"Death is a gentleman, too.  He makes good losers of us all."
    --Proteus IV, _Demon Seed_

"I have nothing to hide, but everything to protect."
    --Dweeb of the Dweebs

"I have no idea why mental health issues are so prevalent in communities who
are exposed to regular public debates on if you deserve to live."
    --maclean brendan

"Sufficiently advanced magic is so boring that everyone who isn't forced to
fix it doesn't even want to know it exists."
    --Dymaxion

"It's easy to have the courage of a lion, they're gigantic and have claws and
no natural predators.  Have the courage of the guinea pig, a two pound meat
potato with zero offensive or defensive abilities that will scream at an ape
100 times its size if their lettuce is too wilty."
    --@pervocracy

"You see, if somebody robs a store, it's a crime and the state is all set and
ready to nab the criminal.  But, if somebody steals from the commons and from
the future it's seen as an entrepreneurial activity and the state cheers and
gives them tax concessions rather than arresting them.  We badly need an
expanded concept of justice and fairness that takes mortgaging the future into
account."
    --Ursula M. Franklin, _The Real World of Technology_

"When life hands you lemons, just hand them back.  No one said you couldn't
hand them back."
    --Crockett

"Bruce Wayne paying 90% taxes on income and capital gains over $10 million
would do more to help Gotham than Batman ever could."
    --Austin Gilkeson

"There is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of
others."
    --Niccolo Machiavelli

"It's clear to me that sustained consistent action is necessary, but it's also
good to get occasional good news so that people don't lose hope and think it's
all too hard."
    --Patrick Lam

"I guess I'm a socialist because I want even Nazis to ahve free health care,
and I guess I'm antifa because I want them to need it."
    --Bunny Sparber

"Mass confusion and panic here tonight in kitchen stadium after the featured
ingredient was announced to be degenerate matter from the deepest heart of a
neutron star."
    --Blackle Mori

"Everybody is just timesharing their anger across thousands of targets until
they're too tired to actually accomplish anything, and I can't help but feel
like this is on purpose; because if this energy was directed at one target at
a time, it could really make a difference."
    --Chrisshy Keygen

"Learn how to manage memory manually, or how to write assembly.  Write a
compiler, or a web browser.  Learn how to repair your hardware when it breaks,
and how to fix your software when the authors don't care to.  Teach yourself
how to write, or draw, or sing, or whatever it is that you wish you knew.  You
don't have to do any of this, of course - but if you're not going to, it
should be because you don't want to, not because you've been lied to.  The
hardest step is to admit that you are capable."
    --pixx

"It looks like we have a problem here that needs investigation."
    --Congressman Nick Langworthy, 23rd district of New York

"Remember quarantine, when everyone was making bread and dancing and making
art and taking care of plants and just learning new, useful skills and we got
a small glimpse into what life is supposed to be like?"
    --@c0wbitch

"Privacy is the agency you have over your dignity."
    --mhoye

"If your friends and allies achieve glory before you, be glad for them!
Jealousy is an ugly thing, not fit for a warrior.  You cannot achieve glory by
diminishing someone else's.  The joy of victory is to be shared, not spurned!"
    --Coach Gowron

"Nails on a chalkboard good!  It hit that spot in my third nostril that makes
me sneeze in technicolor."
    --Professor Pontius Pressure

"The best advice I got about Mastodon is that it's for things you love, not
hate."
    --Neil Kandalgaonkar

"When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all."
    --_Futurama_

"Ah, the rare valid point."
    --Josh Lyman, _The West Wing_

"Many people have a preference for civility politics.  They prefer negative
peace over a positive justice.  They have similar reactions when vegan animal
rights activists point out things that trigger their cognitive dissonance.
Thankfully, their pissing and moaning about these groups still bring more
attention to these urgent issues than quietly begging for justice ever has, so
even if they don't like it, these kinds of stunts are still effective."
    --trevor

"''And I'm not bad at autopsies, either,'' is a threat only Vincent Price
could pull off."
    --Andy Lundell

"Many people will compartmentalize their desires to protect themselves and
their desires to be engaged with the latest trend.  They probably care that
personal data is being harvested from themselves and the people that they care
about, but they excuse it away because of the reward.  Pavlov's dog in action."
    --Another Day In Hell

"If you'll join whoever gives you the smoothest pitch, well... let's just say
we aren't motivated by the same things.  Which makes your motives very suspect."
    --Oliphantom Menace

"The one thing our current garbage system is supposed to actually support is
relatively frictionless commerce and even that is broken."
    --Christina d-h

"If you really care about preventing government tyranny, your #1 priority must
be making sure criminals have rights.  And that's not a joke or an
exaggeration.  If criminals don't have rights, then all the government has to
do is find some excuse to label people as criminals, and those people will no
longer have rights.  It's what literally every tyrannical government in all of
history has done.  If you believe that people who break the law should forfeit
their rights, you're literally as pro-tyrrany as a person can get."
    --The Concealed Weapon

"Redundancy is the buffer against attacks to the system integrity.  A system
without redundancy is unhealthy, subjected to extreme conditions, stressing it
further.  Efficiency is monoculture, like plantation.  This simplification
collapses systems."
    --Nonlinear

"No, recruiters.  I do not want to be part of a 'challenging' team.  I'm in my
mid-50s.  I want to be part of a 'mature' team, a 'powerful' team with a large
and well-managed 'throughput,' a 'structured' team that knows how to use
processes to quickly and accurately handle the Same Stuff That Happens Every
Week so that when someone else comes screaming in with their ass on fire
babbling about something someone else broke and We Need To Document This Thing
NOW NOW NOW, one or two of us can calmly turn from our current tasks, neatly
and quickly handle La Emergencia, and calm the panicked person's heartrate
without raising our own.  I'm old.  Fuck 'ambition.'  I just want a good
paycheck and no dumbass 'this REALLY could have been avoided' hasslepanic."
    --The Laughing Muse

"If you remove yourself from the fishbowl that is society, it would seem
ludicrous that the 'ecomaniacs' are considered extremists.  It sure feels
extreme to continue on a path that is wreaking havoc on nature and could lead
to collapse.  Change the perspective, and groups like Just Stop Oil and XR are
moderate, while those who continue to preach from the pulpit in support of
economic growth - the growthmaniacs, if you will - are deeply irrational.
Again though, from inside the fishbowl, this irrationality is entirely
understandable because the catastrophic environmental impacts accompanying
economic growth aren't perceived in our daily lives.  People just aren't
engaged in solving problems if they don't directly impact their lives right
now."
    --Paul Abela

"There were a lot of rules out there that didn't make engineering sense to me.
They made sense at the time, in the '60s and '70s.  But, you know, there's a
limit.  You know, at some point, safety just is pure waste."
    --Stockton Rush, creator of the deep-diving sub that catastrophically
      failed near the wreck of the Titantic, killing himself and all hands

"Humans doing the hard jobs for minimum wage while the robots write poetry and
paint is not the future I wanted."
    --Karl Sharro

"Research and science gave us solar panels - our society just didn't care to
invest in that 'till NASA needed it.  Did we find the material to make them in
outer space, precious?  Imagine a world where the brightest minds of my
generation are employed figuring out how to maintain a sustainable planet for
8+ billion people, instead of whatever the fuck it is we pay them to do now
tho?  Your poverty of imagination is not my fucking problem."
    --AnarchoNinaWrites

"I was so shocked to learn in the research that the opposite of belonging is
fitting in.  Because fitting in is assessing a group of people and thinking
'Who do I need to be?  What do I need to say?  What do I need to wear?  How do
I need to act?' and changing who you are.  And true belonging never asks us to
change who we are.  It demands that we be who we are.  Because if we fit in
because of how we changed ourselves that's not belonging."
    --Brene Brown

"Science is embraced when it serves the interests of capital, and is often
ignored when it does not."
    --Jason Hickel

"If you suggest that maybe having thousands of unvetted dependencies for a CRUD
app is maybe not real great or totally necessary you mostly get ignored and/or
branded a crank."
    --fm2279

"I appreciate a good infosec cult as much as the next person in cat ears."
    --doot

"Yes, it's hot.  But this could be one of the coolest summers of the rest of
your life."
    --Dr. Maria Neira, environmental scientist, July 2023

"I have been spending a lot of time with Ron DeSantis this week - and I have
to tell you, it's been rather unpleasant.  For several days now, I've been
making my way through the two books DeSantis has published: The much-discussed
_The Courage to Be Free_ that came out earlier this year and the almost
forgotten _Dreams From Our Founding Fathers_ from 2011.  Sometimes, I do
question the choices I've made that have led me to this point in my life."
    --Thomas Zimmer

"If you pick your own mushrooms, you should always leave some untouched.  That
way, your relatives can know what you died of."
    --Unknown Swedish mycologist

"The three pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are Joy, Absurdity,
and Sharing."
    --Calamity's Child

"You must celebrate when something works, because in a long science career,
not much will work.  The biggest skill as a Ph.D candidate is awareness of and
the humility to understand the sheer mass of knowledge you don't have, and
never will have but your colleagues may."
    --Prof. Van Haensel

"Let's be clear.  Those 'low value' degrees are all the degrees were you learn
how power works.  How knowledge is made.  Where hierarchies and ideologies
come from.  And why all of that is considered 'low value' and by whom."
    --Dr. Holly Walters

"Shenanigans and tomfoolery!  Where can I join in?"
    --KITTEN.EXE

"I cant open PDFs on my watch, is the future really worth it?"
    --Cinebox

"To the complaint, 'There are no people in these photographs,' I respond,
there are always two people: The photographer and the viewer."
    --Ansel Adams

"If human beings are not good enough to do without authority, why should they
be trusted with it?"
    --Crimethinc

"The only thing fast on a 386 is how quickly my patience disappears."
    --Nuintari

"Never let the enemy set the terms of engagement.  Do not play by any rule
they try to enforce.  Do not even deign to grant them legitimacy enough to be
worthy of anything other than derision."
    --Studio 8502

"The only thing scarier than an empty Chuck-E-Cheese is a full Chuck-E-Cheese."
    --Hecklefish

"I warned you guys in 1984, and you didn't listen.  I think the weaponization
of AI is the biggest danger.  I think that we will get into the equivalent of
a nuclear arms race with AI, and if we don't build it, the other guys are for
sure going to build it, and so then it'll escalate.  You could imagine an AI
in a combat theatre, the whole thing just being fought by the computers at a
speed humans can no longer intercede, and you have no ability to deescalate."
    --James Cameron

"I really didn't think they would just end our access too covid vaccines
altogether.  Can you imagine how you would've felt if when you got your
bivalent last year, you had been told ''And this is it.  This is the last one
you'll ever get.''  Add to that, ''And we're not allowing public access to
accurate case, hospitalization, or deaths data anymore.  We're also removing
all covid protections, everywhere, including hospitals and public transit;
contagious people will be sent to work, to school, and community spaces.
Treatments no longer work on current strains and you have a near-total chance
of being denied Paxlovid.'' It's scary and unreal.  I guess I just thought
we'd still have vaccine access, even if it cost a lot."
    --Violet Blue

"Every GOP administration since 1952 has let the military-industrial complex
loot the Treasury and plunge the nation into debt on the excuse of a wartime
economic emergency.  Richard Nixon comes quickly to mind, along with Ronald
Reagan and his ridiculous 'trickle-down' theory of U.S. economic policy.  If
the Rich get Richer, the theory goes, before long their pots will overflow and
somehow 'trickle down' to the poor, who would rather eat scraps off the Bush
family plates than eat nothing at all.  Republicans have never approved of
democracy, and they never will.  It goes back to preindustrial America, when
only white male property owners could vote."
    --Hunter S. Thompson

"In the US, only if you pledge to die for capitalism do you get a chance to
live."
    --Tithi Bhattacharya

"Wow, the Autodesk Fusion 360 API docs are interesting.  It seems like they're
trying to see how much documentation they can write without possibly being
useful."
    --Foone

"Fox News tells you that blue counties and states are more dangerous.  But Fox
News isn't real.  You know this.  Stop pretending that you don't know this."
    --Mekka Okereke

"The unity of the chicken and the roach happens in the belly of the chicken."
    --Haitian proverb about trying to change the system from the inside

"The world isn't going to be destroyed by X-ists without some help...  instead
it'll just be destroyed by Pinks."
    --Rev. Xenofact

"The standard skeptical assumption of scientists - that one shouldn't assume
malice, but instead incompetence, and that conspiracies therefore don't happen
and that secrets can't be kept - actively enhances the effectiveness of the
intelligence [agency] approach.  Scientists tend to be used as so called
'useful idiots' by intelligence officers.  It's part of a common intelligence
strategy of using the vices of people to control them.  In this case, the vice
is ego.  The reason why nothing can escape the notice of a competent
intelligence agency is that they simply can't leave anything to chance.  If
somebody says they saw a flying saucer, and a reputable scientist assigns that
account a probability of 1% of it being anything worth investigating, then a
military intelligence agency must investigate.  It's low chance, but high risk."
    --Martin Rezny

"The end has arrived.  Good thing I have been vegan for a decade, haven't
driven a car for 3 years and shop at a local waste free store, otherwise this
could have happened about 30 seconds sooner."
    --Bellybutton Fluffjar, on climate collapse

"Never acknowledge tradecraft."
    --Major David Grusch, US Air Force (retired)

"Big tech corporations hate nothing more than customers who're annoyingly well
informed.  The fact that Apple, Google and Microsoft are basically a standard
on any campus and even schools by now is devastating."
    --Natasha Nox

"In an age suffocated by irony, Sinéad O'Connor was 100% sincere.  This was
both her genius and her curse."
    --Jason Lefkowitz

"[Allen] Pan, of course, is doing what he does best, turning the whole
situation into more content, which is basically how the world works these
days, no matter what the reality of the trademark and copyright situations
might be."
    --Mike Masnick

"I live in a country, ostensibly run by adults, where a major political party
can't decide whether it's Mickey Mouse or Barbie that poses the greater threat.
We have nuclear weapons, by the way."
    --Matt Blaze

"Because temporary autonomous zones create spaces for the radical urges that
society represses, they keep life in the daytime more stable.  They can
sometimes make money in the way that nightclubs and festivals do.  But
temporary autonomous zones are temporary for a reason.  Over and over, zone
denizens make the same mistake: They can't figure out how to interact
productively with the wider society.  The zone often runs out of money because
it exists in a world where people need to pay rent.  Success is elusive; when
a temporary autonomous zone becomes compelling enough to threaten daytime
stability, it may be violently repressed.  Or the attractive freedoms offered
by the zone may be taken up in a milder form by the wider society, and
eventually the zone ceases to exist because its existence has pressured wider
society to be a little more like it."
    --Kai Ye

"Yes, knowing is half the battle, but G.I. Joe never tells you that the other
half is making sure to pee before you leave the house."
    --batkaren

"Republican party bosses hate their base, but also fear them.  They know that
the base would rather give an election to Dems than elect Republicans who sell
them out.  By contrast, the Democratic party's grandees have zero fear of the
party's left wing.  For decades, they simply assumed that union members, people
of color, and progressives would Vote Blue No Matter Who.  They sold us out and
told us they had no choice, and we just ate shit."
    --Cory Doctorow

"I can find no better endorsement for any president's economic plan than
billionaires not liking it."
    --John Fugelsang

"Anyone who thinks machine intelligences don't have emotions needs to be in
this very uncomfortable room right now."
    --Ratthi, _The Murderbot Chronicles_

"There is no red or blue when it comes to the filthy rich, only green."
    --Cracked Dry Ice

"The end result of four decades of postmodernism permeating the art world is
that there is very little interesting or important work being done right now
in the fine arts.  The irony was a bold and creative posture when Duchamp did
it, but it is now an utterly banal, exhausted, and tedious strategy."
    --Camille Paglia

"Increasingly powerful AI systems are being released at an increasingly rapid
pace. [...] And yet not a single AI lab seems to have provided any user
documentation.  Instead, the only user guides out there appear to be Twitter
influencer threads.  Documentation-by-rumor is a weird choice for organizations
claiming to be concerned about proper use of their technologies, but here we
are."
    --Ethan Mollick 

"You teach best what you most need to learn."
    --Richard Bach

"The eugenic understanding of human beings explains why someone like Jeffrey
Epstein funded scientists of Dawkins's ilk: It helped him justify that his
victims were just soulless things."
    --Annie Kelly

"TFW you're reviewing a vendor presentation and you're pretty sure
experiencing this endless buzzword-compliant nonsense is a violation of the
Geneva Convention."
    --pfriedma

"I cannot stress enough that I'm not an engineer, I'm a tinkerer.  When I make
something and it actually works, it's not because I'm good at what I do."
    --mos_8502

"The rich don't care about your physical and mental health.  The reason they
are pushing a coordinated media campaign against remote work is because the
only thing they really care about is all the money they are losing from empty
offices."
    --Dr. Lucky Tran

"Here's the thing: Kids don't understand subtext.  Heck, adults don't
understand subtext!  If social media has taught me anything it's that we are
a nation of illiterates when it comes to critical analysis of fiction in any
medium.  As far as Americans are concerned, books exist explicitly to be judged
by their covers, that's why the name is at the top in easy to read letters."
    --Dan, _Secret Galaxy_

"If AI learns morality from humans, we're screwed."
    --Hecklefish

"You always hear of crab pot mentality, rarely do we hear of crab gang unity."
    --John Horvath

"I like how 'illegal in the EU' means it probably violated a human right and
'Illegal in Florida' means it probably is a human right."
    --Hello, Dear.

"Best wishes to Americans this July 4th as you celebrate your great nation's
revolutionary transition from being ruled by a king to being ruled by
corporations."
    --Caitlin Johnstone

"Of course they chose our company because we shared their religion and for no
other reason.  That's just how Christian companies be.  This is a strange
company for an atheist LGBT+ man to work tech support, but what they don't
know they can't find another plausible legal reason to fire me for."
    --Seligas, on working for a Christian-specific IT company

"There seems to be a dark human compulsion to take the best man around, declare
him a god, and then scrutinize him like a hawk for the sign of human weakness
that will allow us to slay him.  Something in us likes to watch the mighty
topple, and most especially the good mighty.  If someone wrote a book alleging
that Mother Teresa once committed a venial sin, it would sell a million copies."
    --Spider Robinson

"There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works."
    --Alan J. Perlis

"Rocky Horror is turning 50 next month and people still act like being gay was
invented by Ellen in 1997."
    --beggars-opera

"I'm not saying 'GitHub is bad' or ''don't use GitHub'' - it's a great platform
and if it solves your problem, totally go ahead and use it.  I'm just saying
that it's a business and at some point someone is going to crunch some numbers
and say 'Hey, these guys are popular and it would be nice if they brought in
more revenue,' and this is how enshittification starts."
    --K. Ryabitsev

"If you want to break laws with impunity, you better be rich or a politician."
    --James Branum

"Google has backtracked on its plan to delete inactive YouTube videos - at
least for now.  Of course, it could change its mind anytime it wants.  It would
be nice if this would get people to think about the vulnerabilities inherent
in letting a for-profit monopoly decide what of human creativity is worth
saving."
    --Bruce Schneier

"Stackoverflow is down for maintenance.  I guess I get fired today."
    --SpockHasLeft

"Be profitable, make a good product that tons of people use, you're still
financially unsustainable because you're no longer in the hockey-stick growth
zone that the market demands."
    --Sid

"What does the money machine eat?  It eats youth, spontaneity, life, beauty,
and, above all, it eats creativity.  It eats quality and shits quantity."
    --William S. Burroughs

"Avocado toast and identity politics to pass the time as the world burns."
    --merRedditor

"A fire broke out backstage in a theatre.  The clown came out to warn the
public; they thought it was a joke and applauded.  He repeated it; the acclaim
was even greater.  I think that's just how the world will come to an end: To
the general applause of wits who believe it's a joke."
    --Soren Kierkegaard

"Computers are like onions.  Everything is layers built on layers, and every
layer makes you cry."
    --Michael Lucas

"Customers, like any livestock, make meaningless noise.  This is corporate
psychopathy 101."
    --Strypey

"If a program typically uses just a few meg of memory, don't bother making any
effort to reduce memory usage.  For example, if it is impractical for other
reasons to operate on files more than a few meg long, it is reasonable to read
entire input files into memory to operate on them."
    --From the GNU Coding Standards

"Hi kids, Loch Ness Monster here, reminding you that we're all accidents of
entropy, and the only true certainty is the Abyss.  Hail the Great Nothing."
    --Fidgety

"Let us face it, to be free is to continually fight for our freedoms.  There
are too many in the world who would deprive us of the freedom and so we must
act.  Thelema is not a wishy-washy system which enjoins us to turn the other
cheek.  It is a system that is bold and strong; it is for the strong and
followed correctly, it can produce adepts.  Let us not wallow then, in
ignorance and fear; let us develop our higher selves to the best of our
ability and let us remove from our paths, those who would interfere with
others."
    --Phyllis Seckler

"And here we are again, and at the same place.  Now there's one wreck lying
next to the other wreck, for the same damn reason."
    --James Cameron

"I'd much rather be 'too sensitive' than whatever the fuck has happened to half
of humanity."
    --Giulia Rozzi

"To put it another way in another language: Everybody gangsta until Russian
cursive comes in."
    --Harp

"Wait - if all the trans girls are at Pride who is operating the web servers?!"
    --Abbiistabbii

"I love how video game mushrooms are all named like 'glowshroom' and
'smileshroom' whereas real actual mushrooms have names like ''the devil's
gnarled cunt'' and 'plumedread gutrot'."
    --Eevee

"Love is generally confused with dependence.  Those of us who have grown in
true love know that we can love only in proportion to our capacity for
independence."
    --Mr. Rogers

"As more walls are raised around gardens and users are even more aggressively
preyed upon by greedy corpo overlords, I feel it becomes an infosec community
responsibility to arm normal users, not just the tech-savvy, with knowledge
and alternatives to break the cycle of exploitation we know drives this
business model."
    --Taggart

"I want to be with those who know secret things, or else alone."
    --Rainer Maria Rilke

"Let this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair."
    --Mariame Kaba

"It'd probably actually be better for us if the world really was being tightly
controlled by a small cabal of elites instead of being blindly driven by a
convergence of unthinking power interests, because at least such a cabal
wouldn't be imperiling their own lives by pushing nuclear brinkmanship and
environmental destruction like a bunch of idiots."
    --Caitlyn Johnstone

"A Chick tract is like a Tijuana Bible for people who hate jerking off."
    --Studio 8502

"Look, Batman is cool and all, but you gotta understand, he'd turn Robin Hood
over to the cops without a second thought."
    --Socketwench

"There are only two sexualities: Straight and political."
    --Scrumpf_Dabogy

"The act of sex is distinct from sexuality and libido."
    --Gage J. Tolin

"The lack of epistemic foundations does not preclude or nullify the
investigation of anomalous cognitions.  In fact, neither all scientific
knowledge is rational, nor do all hypotheses under investigation have epistemic
validity as noted by Henry and Leifer.  An example can be found in the
mathematical theorems of incompletenes which demonstrate that, mathematically,
the study or acceptance of undecidable questions, such as anomalous
cognitions, does not imply rejecting rationality as the basis of scientific
knowledge.  A clearer example is in the logical principle of nonlocality used
in quantum mechanics.  If science accepts objects of inquiry that are
extraordinary in questions of quantum physics and in mathematics, it at least
should also be able to accept the scientific investigation (and not the
scientific validity) of anomalous cognitions."
    --Alex Escola-Gascon, James Houran, Neil Dagnall, Kenneth Drinkwater,
      Andrew Denovan, _Follow-up on the US Central Intelligence Agency's
      Remote Viewing Experiments_, 12 February 2023

"In the class war, identity is a central concept from which the proletariat is
meant to rally around and show solidarity through.  Leftists will proudly
identify themselves as 'workers' and attempt to organize other 'workers'.
However, most people don't think of themselves as 'workers'.  They see work as
something they have to do to survive, not as something that gives their life
meaning and value.  And with the heightened precariousness and impermanence of
jobs today, this is increasingly true."
    --_A Nihilist Understanding of Social War_

"Any wealth and status you lack, you can perform.  What I received wasn't a
crash course in Formula 1 - in fact, Formula 1 only became more mystifying to
me - but journalism, as viewed by the other side. The great irony of the other
side is that they need journalism.  The petrochemical companies, deeply
powerful institutions, need journalists to write about all the things they
attach themselves to that are not being a petrochemical company."
    --Kate Wagner, _Behind F1's Velvet Curtain_ (before it mysteriously
      disappeared from publication hours after it dropped)

"I like the fact minimalist approaches, like svelte, htmx and alpine.js are
getting more and more traction.  I felt like fighting this fight alone for
years in the golden years of node, webpack and react where everybody was
creating crazy stacks and adding GraphQL and so on, to basically get what
Django + jquery did 10 years ago in a tenth of the time and code."
    --sametmax

"As [Rev. Ivan] Stang once said, the religion may be fake, but the church is
real.  The slack must go on!"
    --Spud Coolzip

"After reading that indictment, it strikes me that the sheer magnitude of
criming you need to perform to face an ounce of accountability when you're a
rich guy is astonishing."
    --Clark Valentine

"I kind of like how Lockheed Martin and Raytheon sponsoring the DC Pride
parade has pissed off the entire politicial spectrum in a unified fashion."
    --PG&E delenda est.

"Every time I have to solve a captcha I'm forced to confront unresolvable
semiotic edge conditions.  Is the post that supports a traffic light itself
part of a traffic light?  I just don't know.  I am inadequate to log in."
    --Matt Blaze

"Now, Billy, just because your mom is a pod person who wants to replace you
with a pod person doesn't mean she doesn't still love you."
    --Taweret

"Don't take the bait!  Debating someone with zero credibility or validity only
helps them to gain status and spread lies.  By trying to negate their false
ideas, you'll end up activating them.  They win by making the difference
between lies and truth seem like a matter of opinion."
    --George Lakoff

"These days, there are two certainties: Death, and something good on the
Internet getting shitty."
    --Callum Booth

"People say they love thinking outside the box until someone actually does it."
    --Swift On Security

"Forty years before Ted Kaczynski wrote his manifesto, Ellul more fully
explored the same ideas.  The reasons Kaczynski has staying power,
particularly in anarchist movements, aren't flattering: Spectacle, violence,
and his text is much shorter."
    --Joe Uchill

"The notion that a corporation retains absolute control, and the people can
vote on some trivial affairs so long as they don't threaten the corporation's
bottom dollar and calling that democracy is a wonderful illustration of US
politics."
    --Lord Bowlich

"The story of the Internet is never let the money guys in."
    --Ethan Schnoover

"It's like the US is the same country with the same horrifying problems we've
had for ages, but circa 2016 somebody enabled verbose logging."
    --Paul Cantrell

"I have a limited number of neurons and time and your little dribble of 'd14n
means disenfuckulation' infospunk just took up a valuable second that I could
have used for picking my nose or telling lies on the Internet."
    --Dan Fixes Coin-Ops

"Graphs are the ultimate proof of anything!"
    --Kyle Hill

"One thing all fish know: If you keep your mouth shut, you don't get caught."
    --Hecklefish

"Snowden's error was in believing that meaningful, forceful, and effective
democratic oversight of NSA, FBI and other federal law enforcement and
intelligence components actually exists.  The historical record at the time
Snowden went public said otherwise, and that remains the case today."
    --Patrick Eddington

"It's not difficult to imagine someone comparing D&D to the revenue model for
Fortnite, Minecraft or League of Legends - all are games whose brand has been
leveraged to sell anything even remotely related to players who treat these
titles as a lifestyle brand."
    --Chase Carter

"There's a funny thing about information: Those whom receive it first usually
think of their own interests before those of others."
    --Bill Horne

"Something that's hit me in the face recently is just how much of tech is made
up of joyless nerds.  There's a type of person who insists on the same bland
experience everywhere, and whinges whenever they run into someone who isn't
the same."
    --Arky

"I would almost rather say, ''My message is my message, please don't look at
my life because I'm a fallible human being and I'm constantly fucking up.''"
    --Terence Mckenna

"I'm still impressed that I can spend USD$3 for a 64GB microSD card and store
the entire code output of my life and still have lots of room left over for
photos of my dogs."
    --Chuck

"I am actually skeptical about the idea of 'learning from history' - at least
if that is supposed to mean we can draw clear-cut lessons from the past.  This
idea is based on an understanding of history as a set of recurring
constellations or situations.  But that's not how 'history' works.  History is
not repetitive, it is accumulative.  I certainly believe history has something
important to offer.  But probably not in the form of ready-made lessons.
Studying history can help us in our analysis of the present, make us ask
better questions, put things into perspective.  In that sense, it can help us
understand the dynamics that are shaping the present."
    --Thomas Zimmer, historian

"There's no such thing as a smart fascist, but dumb wins A LOT of the time."
    --Cat Valente

"Crackling sounds coming from the middle of the pile of junk on the bench.
Whaat?  Is this a chemical reaction?  What did I pile up there?  I've got no
other indications, no smells or smoke or anything.  Lots of careful slow moving
things, listen, home in on the source.  It was a beetle crawling around.  I had
accidentally left the lights on last night and collected a beetle and two
moths."
    --Setec Astronomy

"It's long frustrated me that log analysis has been rendered nearly extinct in
favor of letting Google slurp up all activity data to give a surfeit of metrics.
But then, to even be concerned with privacy seems out of the norm."
    --Porsupah

"Seeing news articles along the lines of 'We need to take back Pride from
radical activists.'  Like, dude, we are celebrating the anniversary of when
butch lesbians, trans women, drag queens, homeless gay kids, and queer
prostitutes chased cops into the Stonewall they were kicked out of -- AND THEN
TRIED TO SET THE PLACE ON FIRE.  With the cops inside.  I'm trying to figure
out how that wasn't radical activism, but trans people asking for human rights
is too radical.  Fuck that."
    --Joelle

"A torpedo is just a specialized messenger drone.  The message is almost
always, 'Fuck you.'"
    --Moliver

"'Radical' is just what those concerned with the status quo calls someone who
simply asks... 'Why not?'"
    --the_gibson

"Take it back, because it ain't going to be given to you."
    --Misfit Loser Zealot

"The way capitalism forces you to increasingly make priority lists that
prioritize making money over mental and physical health, socializing,
friendships, and any kind of self actualization is obscene."
    --Mireille Sillander

"Cigarettes are a lot like squirrels.  They're both perfectly harmless until
you put one in your mouth and set it on fire."
    --Wilbur

"To recommend thrift to the poor is both grotesque and insulting.  It is like
advising a man who is starving to eat less."
    --Oscar Wilde

"The station wagon has the connotation of being a perfect transportation
machine for a large middle class family, and being middle class and having a
large family are two concepts that are in the process of being stamped out
by people who want neither."
    --Sellam Abraham

"The Hulk: Probably the last superhero you call when you need some parkour,
precision platforming done."
    --Iceplug

"We must work indefinitely so that we can consume continually; our one great
collective purpose in life is corporate enrichment.  The homeless, above all
else, fail in this regard completely. And as a result they are intolerable."
    --No, Thank You, Not Now

"People are still confused about J.K. Rowling's conservative views?  Harry
Potter is a rich kid who got into private school as a legacy, that played
sports, grew up and joined the SWAT team.  And you're like, ''How is she so
far right?''"
    --Phantom Astronaut

"When I was a youth, 'cyber' meant exchanging naughty text messages via MOOs.
Getting a certificate in cyber sounds like a lewd creative writing course
degree."
    --Charles

"I sometimes wonder if it's a function of how society is now, that someone
making a social mistake is obviously an attack against the status quo rather
than an actual mistake because they didn't know better, because there isn't a
sign explaining how things are."
    --That Anonymous Coward

"As soon as real estate agents rename your neighborhood, you're in trouble."
    --Matt Blaze

"Don't ever apologize to an author for buying something in paperback, or taking
it out from a library (that's what they're there for; use your library).  Don't
apologize to this author for buying books second hand, or getting them from
Bookcrossing or borrowing a friend's copy.  What's important to me is that
people read the books and enjoy them, and that, at some point in there, the
book was bought by someone.  And that people who like things tell other
people.  The most important thing is that people read."
    --Neil Gaiman

"Humans doing the hard jobs for minimum wage while the robots write poetry and
paint is not the future I wanted."
    --Karl Sharro

"We thought we fixed you, America.  You fucked it up.  We're back to try again."
    --Andrew Eldritch, on stage, 10 May 2023

"It's only temporary unless it works."
    --theniwo

"People who become right wing because they get annoyed by leftists are weak
willed.  Most leftists are annoyed by leftists every single day."
    --@ThoughtSlime

"It was the Law of the Sea, they said.  Civilization ends at the waterline.
Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top."
    --Hunter S. Thompson

"I have to believe that there is at least one Sisters of Mercy band member
that Andrew Eldritch does not fall out with.  So I choose to believe that there
is one Doktor Avalanche, a single presence with shells that fall away like the
mortal flesh of the Dalai Lama.  I don't know much about the transmigration of
808 souls, but I have passively watched multiple seasons of Dr. Who."
    --Zachary Lipez

"I feel like we are post-language now.  Things are more symbolic.  The
relationship between words and facts and objectivity and their impact seems to
have separated to the point where most of the writing that I see, especially
on something like Twitter, is by people baffled that people don't get what
they are trying to say.  It's depressing."
    --Ken Layne

"The more I see how organisations actually use Kubernetes, the more I think
they wanted a better way to manage virtual machines."
    --bEA

"People of the Internet are strange and unusual."
    --MaddyDogg47

"Those whom profit from existing methods of distributing a nation's propaganda
always fight tooth and nail to hang on to their privileged positions and profit
model when new technologies such as FM threaten them, and our leaders have
always let them get away with it."
    --Bill Horne, on the US Congress suddenly fighting to keep AM radio
      receivers in cars

"The interior of the Nostromo was so believable.  I hate these new-looking
spacecraft.  You feel like they're just built for the movie you're seeing.
They don't look real."
    --H.R. Giger, on the aesthetics of _Alien_

"If the existence of a single trans kid can 'break down conservative values'
then those values were weak as fuck and maybe shouldn't be relied on."
    --Lady Dragonfly

"That's the ironic thing about Devo.  At the end of the day, we've always been
hopelessly optimistic that even if it's only greed, there has to be some human
trait that's going to avert total disaster.  Because nobody wants total
disaster, even though they do want to make a killing in the meantime.  It's
like, you could trade a little bit of your killing for people staying around
another hundred thousand years.  I like the idea of the future.  I like seeing
what's going to come.  Sometimes you're really disappointed.  But sometimes,
something amazing happens that you really love."
    --Mark Mothersbaugh

"Religion isn't inherently bad more than a sword is bad.  It's the intelligence
and intentions of who is wielding it and what it is used for.  It should never
be used to promote blind fealty or one's selfish personal agendas.  It should
be a tool, not a weapon or a shield."
    --Croc

"I wanted to give God something he's never heard before."
    --Sun Ra 

"A better world for most of us was possible.  But the people with all the power
hated not being able to push people around, so we're once again trapped by
their psychological issues."
    --Diane

"There are no more locations, just time zones"  
    --Jefferson Bailey, on remote-first work

"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I'd beat the
stuffing out of him and that would be it."
    --Jack Kirby

"Besides making us all exhausted, grind culture has also stolen your
imagination.  Our thinking is very limited because we are deeply disconnected,
exhausted, sleep deprived, and don't believe we are worthy of anything unless
we burn ourselves out to 'accomplish' it."
    --The Nap Ministry

"'Textbook example of a bad idea' apparently really is a viable business model."
    --Feonixrift

"Notice how higher quality newspapers and scientific publications are often
behind paywalls, while misinformation and conspiracy theory sites are not?
Now consider how indexing for generative AI will work with this.  Higher
quality information sites will block AI training bots because they don't want
their content stolen, but propaganda outlets will allow their sites to be used
for training because they want their content spread."
    --Robert Rothenberg

"Of course I can wing it, but only after I figure out what room for error I've
got.  Proper improvisation requires boundary parameters."
    --Random Geek

"It's unfortunate that this wiki editor would deprive offended readers of an
opportunity to get over themselves."
    --Jeff Henderer

"If you're not able to stand on a conference center stage and explain to an
audience of 1000 customers why the spec is right, you can't use 'works as
designed'.  The bug  may be in the spec rather than in the code, but it's
still a bug.  Fix it."
    --Paul Koning

"You want cheap, no hassle GSM service with no catch, in the US?  Don't we
all, don't we all."
    --Paul the Geek

"It's inconceivable that western industrial capitalism could run on another
five hundred or a thousand years.  It will not continue as it has.  It will
deteriorate under the pressure of resource scarcity.  And what few democratic
values we have obtained - what little space for reasoned discourse has been
created - will be the first to be swept away."
    --Terence McKenna

"Art, safety, billionaires.  Pick two."
    --Dymaxion

"Humans are now hackable animals.  You know the whole idea that humans have
this soul or spirit or free will, and nobody knows what's happening inside me,
so whatever I choose, whether in the election or whether in the supermarket,
this is my free will?  That's over."
    --Yuval Noah Harari

"Link rot benefits corporate power.  I'll routinely be doing research on a
tech policy debate from the early aughts and find that consumer
advocate/activist/academic/indie media analysis no longer exist, but the
corporate version of events remain to help dictate history."
    --Karl Bode

"The tragedy of revolutionaries is they design a utopia by a river but
discover the impure city they razed was on stilts for a reason."
    --Swift On Security

"The thing that's so wrong-headed about the push to use AI to make art and
write is it presupposes that the primary purpose of art in our lives is
consumption, rather than creation.  Creating art adds real value to one's life
and that's not something AI can ever replace.  This is also why 'content' and
art are not the same thing.  AI doesn't make art - it makes content, meaning
its sole purpose and only value is for consumption.  Rather dubious value, I
might add.  The act of creating art is not a problem to be solved.  We don't
need machines and computers to provide a solution for something that isn't a
problem.  Creating art _is_ the solution."
    --Z.Z.Ali

"It's nice to know that even at the end of a long life we can still have
firsts.  I have not directly irrigated my own brain before.  I got my hearing
back on the second try, and the tinnitus is now down to 2x normal, which is
manageable.  Which means, yes, production team, I can now listen to the build
on DEPT MIDNIGHT 104.  This is, I am certain, the sort of classy material you
subscribed to this letter for.  It's probably just as well I'm taking a couple
of weeks off to catch up on other stuff."
    --Warren Ellis

"A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention."
    --Herbert Simon

"I don't know how you humans deal with pants."
    --Hecklefish

"Every time one of these fascists publicly utters something horrible, revealing
themselves to be who they are, a tiny voice in my head tells me I should be
relieved, for finally people will see the truth and reject them from public
discourse.  That little voice in my head, it turns out, is an idiot."
    --Matt Blaze

"It is the business of the future to be dangerous."
    --A.N. Whitehead

"RSAC, where the security industry comes together to celebrate failing upwards
for another year."
    --Kevin Beaumont

"If you think flat earthers are bad wait 'till you meet Minecraft *round*
earthers."
    --myrmepropagandist

"I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who
think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves."
    --Anna Quindlen

"Any society where you have to root for corporations to do battle with
authoritarians because politicians and governments are incapable and unwilling
is an unwell one.  Disney is not your hero.  And none of this is actually
ideological.  It's economic."
    --Jared Yates Sexton

"People today with their Slack huddles and Discord voice chats.  Back in my
day if you wanted to call an IRC channel you had to defraud the phone company."
    --dreid

"I miss 2007.  Not because of some nostalgic sentimentalism that every feels
towards the past regardless of the era.  I miss the sense of stability that
society seemed to have, a hope for the future, and the seeming inevitable
triumph of democracy.  People forget, but there was a very real assumption in
the 2000's that every developing country in the world was going to become as
wealthy as America and that democracy was just going to work.  Now it's assumed
that poor countries will stay poor forever, that liberalism will disintegrate
and fall apart, resurgent authoritarianism is inevitable, that one by one
first world countries will collapse down to the level of the rest, and that
the future holds nothing in regards to technological advancement or space
exploration.  Everything was so buoyant and optimistic back then.  I guess
what I'm saying is, I miss the lies I believed about the world at that time."
    --August F

"Hey, if you ever need to kill an AI super-intelligence, I know a few people
with a backhoe and a passion for recycling copper."
    --Swift On Security

"America isn't even a country, it's just three corporations in a trenchcoat
with a military."
    --Dani Marie

"What Tesla is contending is deeply troubling to the Court.  Their position is
that because Mr. Musk is famous and might be more of a target for deepfakes,
his public statements are immune.  In other words, Mr. Musk and others in his
position, can simply say whatever they like in the public domain, then hide
behind the potential for their recorded statements being a deepfake to avoid
taking ownership of what they did actually say and do.  The Court is unwilling
to set such a precedent by condoning Tesla's approach here."
    --Judge Evette Pennypacker

"We do not live in the Star Trek-inspired rational, humanist world that Altman
seems to be hallucinating.  We live under capitalism, and under that system
the effects of flooding the market with technologies that can plausibly perform
the economic tasks of countless working people is not that those people are
suddenly free to become philosophers and artists.  It means that those people
will find themselves staring into the abyss - with actual artists among the
first to fall."
    --Naomi Klein

"The basic version is that 'mutually assured destruction' doesn't work unless
soldiers can launch nukes even if the command structure has been destroyed.
The complicated version is that, the more you learn about the Cold War, the
more you discover what a surreally fast-and-loose attitude the US leadership
had to nuclear annihilation.  Presumably the Soviets too, but I can't read
Russian."
    --Mckinley Valentine

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of the fifth largest company in the world,
asking your web hosting product to offer the same level of functionality that
Geocities had in 1994."
    --MCC, on AWS

"Don't be stupid to try and prove a point."
    --Crammy, Jr.

"Did God give Moses one of those little wrenches, like you get from Ikea?"
    --Hecklefish

"The New York- and D.C.-based conservatives who staff the movement's think
tanks, magazines, and advocacy shops don't, in fact, inhabit a different
universe from their liberal counterparts.  They all read the New York Times
and drink lattes and go to parties together.  There's some clustering, to be
sure, but nobody acts like they really believe the folks on the other side are
insidious hellspawn.  The pose is for the benefit of the base, who - not
because they're conservative, but because they aren't urban media professionals
are likely to draw on a narrower range of trusted news and opinion sources."
    --Julian Sanchez

"Two kinds of people are good at foreseeing danger: Those who have learned at
their own expense, and the clever people who learn a great deal at the expense
of others."
    --Baltasar Gracián

"I have Demolition."
"That.  Will.  Not.  Help.  You."
    --Lyssa and Hasufin, in game

"We already are the next Weimar Republic.  Actually, according to actual
Holocaust survivors, we're past that and are now reliving 1933 just after the
Nazi takeover, particularly with the targeting of trans people."
    --Panama Red

"Some people who hate the bad-faith shitbirds will also hate you.  Every
movement has assholes, narcissists, and dramatics.  Deal with it and focus not
not being a bad-faith shitbird."
    --Popehat

"Kind of wistful about _Terminator_'s comforting vision where everyone agreed
that what was happening was a problem."
    --Calutron

"I fully expect a horse head or dead birds on my patio next week as payback.
However, today, victory is mine."
    --Lady Swinella

"Trans day of what's the deal with that shark plushie anyway?"
    --Gracious Anthracite

"April Fool's Day feels like an anachronism in the present day where every
other thing is already a lie and a scam."
    --autogynamelia

"AI predictions about people not knowing reality from fantasy too heavily
discount how disconnected from reality most people already are."
    --Kirch

"The response to pandemics has always been the same: Crazy behaviour, crazy
superstitions, and then indifference."
    --Eric MacKnight

"I'm not worried about what AI itself is going to do to society.  I'm worried
about what AI in the hands of the the usual plutocrat suspects is going to do
to society."
    --Ben Royce

"Monsters are tragic beings.  They are born too tall, too strong, too heavy,
they are not evil by choice.  That is their tragedy."
    --Honda Ishiro

"It's perfectly fine for people to express opinions without having, or wanting
to talk about, solutions.  Unless someone pointedly asks for input, maybe
don't."
    --Welsh Pixie

"What sucks about [being] cynical is that it ends up being correct an
astonishingly high percent of the time."
    --the_gibson

"Automation is not a synonym for simplicity."
    --Bob Young

"The best part of the Tucker [Carlson] texts is that, after years of lying in
public, he's fired for speaking truth in private."
    --John Fugelsang

"The older I get the more I appreciate IBMs fundamental commitment to never,
under any circumstances trying to be funny."
    --Art Nouveau Appreciator

"Make sure to be gay on the computer or Alan Turing died for nothing."
    --Sierra R

"A society which cannot tolerate genderbending or cross- dressing ultimately
will not tolerate homosexuality, bisexuality, or any other deviance from
sexual or gender norms, no matter how closeted or assimilated."
    --Lily Burana and Roxxie Linnea Due, _Dagger: On Butch Women_

"The more senior you get the more there is no right answer or plan figured out.
That's your job."
    --Dare Obasanjo

"To find out what kind of Internet community you are in, call a Nazi an asshole
and pay attention to which of you gets banned."
    --Tofu Golem

"Anyway, you could keep stuff like this secret back then, before they had
Discord servers."
    --Matt Blaze

"If it rhymes, it's real!"
    --Wordburglar

"As long as there are rich people who benefit from violence against unions and
the poor, the Pinkertons will exist to do that violence."
    --Nobody Important

"The AI Writing thing is just 'pivot to video' all over again, a bunch of
dead-eyed corporate types willing to listen to any snake oil salesman who
offers them higher potential profits.  It'll crash in a year but scuttle
hundreds of livelihoods before it does."
    --Dan Sheehan

"After decades of experience as a professor, I no longer have the anxiety
dream about showing up to class naked.  Now it's about showing up to class
without my laptop HDMI adapter."
    --Matt Blaze

"Wow, it's so cool and sustainable that the most annoying ppl now know how to
make their posts even more algorithm friendly AND can generate text/pics with
AI for free AND can pay to boost AND it's getting harder to determine whether
or not info is coming from an official source."
    --@netspooky

"Just got back from this year's FibonacciCon and it was as big as the last two
put together."
    --Adam Cerious

"If Dr. Frank-N-Furter's castle in _Rocky Horror_ is wheelchair accessible,
what excuse does anyone else have?"
    --@givemepllants

"Our goldfish existence out there is naturally subject to criticism.  I could
find plenty of fault with anybody if I had the privilege of investigating
their daily life in their own home."
    --George van Tassel

"I get up every morning and I try to figure out how to screw with the labor
unions."
    --Rick Berman, professional union busting consultant

"We've reached such terminal capitalism where the heart warming story is now
'orphan crushing machine running smoothly after narrowly avoiding shutdown.'"
    --@Ranting_Trans

"Finding ten yards of coastline with little enough human shit floating in it
so as not to give you botulism if you so much as go paddling for ten minutes
didn't USED to be a cause for celebration, but welcome to The Brexit You Voted
For, you stupid, stupid knucklefuckers."
    --Mitch Benn

"Hearing young people not understand _Matrix_ references makes me want to buy
investment properties and suppress the vote."
    --Swift On Security

"Beware of movement leaders who are all ego.  The natural path for protest is
towards another Mugabe, another Stalin.  It is a constant struggle to keep
psychopaths who just want to rise to power on a wave of violence out."
    --VastInterior

"All you need to know about this proposed '6 month hiatus on AI development' is
that one of the people proposing it was Elon Musk.  Basically, the plan is to
get the small guys to stop so the big guys can dominate the field."
    --Doktor Howl

"Over a sufficient timespan, all economics problems become demographics
problems."
    --Tarah Wheeler

"Some guy tried a romance scam on me and I went along to counter scam him.  He
finally asks for money, so I say 'All my money is in Switzerland in a trust
fund but to get it I need money for a plane ticket.'  He replies 'That sounds
like a scam.'"
    --@LexiAlex

"''Let's schedule this meeting for after the layoffs and we can discuss it if
we're both still here'' - a sentence I never expected to be uttering multiple
times a week."
    --Dare Obasanjo

"Nowadays, most people have much higher life quality with less problems.  And
some people are irritated by having a comfortable life so they just try too
hard to create problems out of nowhere."
    --aridrawzstuff

"Software is eating the world - and spitting most of it back out again looking
slightly chewed, soggy and half-eaten, as it moves on to the next thing that
you used to be able to rely on."
    --Mary Branscombe

"A lie can go halfway 'round the world while the truth sits behind a paywall."
    --Matthew Green

"All project requests for plutonium will be submitted for my personal approval
going forward, effective immediately.  If this causes you difficulty you can
share your feelings with Dr. Daviau, the sole survivor of Project Sibilance."
    --Memos from Lofwyr

"These analyses fail to recognize how social power and heterogeneity in
society shape both the way urban water crises unfold and who is vulnerable to
them.  The problem with depoliticized analyses is that they often lead to
technocratic solutions that are likely to perpetuate the same logic and, in
turn, reproduce the uneven and unsustainable water patterns that have
contributed to the water crisis in the first place."
    --Elisa Savelli, et al, _Urban Water Crises Driven by Elites'
      Unsustainable Consumption_

"In politics, our journalists believe, it is better to be savvy than it is to
be honest or correct on the facts."
    --Jay Rosen

"Forgive my bluntness, but I just do not understand who all these emails less
than a week from RSA with, 'Want to meet the CEO of *insert ambiguous new
cybersecurity startup??' appeal to.  First of all, we've all been totally
booked for months.  Second of all, why would you want to go meet a random CEO
unless you already had a business relationship?  I get the party invites
(though some are super late to the game this year) because that's a fun and
somewhat appealing thing, but this one totally baffles me.  I don't need to,
like, go get their autograph like its Comic Con."
    --Lesley Carhart

"Don't worry, the corporations we let run everything have systematically
destroyed this planet for profit so you don't have to worry about inequality
in the future.  Because there is no future."
    --Rotogen

"Proud that all my AI work was during the Expert Systems era, when AI was
mostly useless, rather than during the current era, where AI works but is
mostly deceptive and/or evil."
    --Starling Whistler

"A rare portrait, because sometimes safe-for-work is the crunchy granola that
your bowels crave."
    --Hatebunny

"I encourage everyone to be the light you wish you had in your darkest moments."
    --Doctor Deathray

"I can't wait for SpaceX to blow up another generation of astronauts and the
next generation's hopes of legitimate discovery and exploration in space, and
then when people point out that privatizing space flight has the same problems
as federal programs to be admonished for politicizing whatever tragedy
occurred."
    --Warriorstar

"I respect screaming babies on airplanes because they're the only ones
providing honest feedback about the overall air travel experience."
    --Janel Cormeau

"I am sorry, manager, the speed of light is not a configurable variable."
    --Adalwin

"In a world where a bit of math can pass as human on the Internet, we are
obliged to be more unpredictable, more chaotic.  Be the language model failure
mode you want to see in the taco."
    --Taggart

"If you see anything, anything at all on the Internet you think is cool, save
it on your hard drive.  Companies will burn the Library of Alexandria twelve
times over as to not lose fifteen cents, so it's likely whatever you've seen
two, five, ten years ago is permanently deleted."
    --Noelle Jann

"The idea a general upheaval will result in your societal preference is
something shared by a whole range of fucking cranks whose motivation is just
the blind creation of suffering."
    --Swift On Security

"People talking shit is better than people doing shit.  Real threats usually
stay quiet."
    --Elle Armageddon

"Rule #3 - Leaking classified documents of any NATO country (or member of AUKUS
or ANZUS, or other Western-aligned democracy including but not limited to
Sweden, Japan, South Korea, Israel, Taiwan and the Philippines and such other
countries as may be determined in the moderators' sole discretion) on this
server to impress your Discord buddies is an immediate perma-ban.  What do you
think this is, the War Thunder discord?"
    --morecorgis, adsi.fi mod

"Some people shouldn't be allowed to run with scissors, and some people
shouldn't be allowed to actively engage in politics, and I'm the intersection
of those sets."
    --Charles Stross

"Some people claim that puns are the lowest form of humor.  I have to disagree.
Embarrassment is the lowest form of humor.  Puns can be quite funny.
Embarrassment never is."
    --Nomad

"Republicans are amazed that the kids they gleefully put through active shooter
drills grew up to vote against them."
    --@sumpeoplelikeit

"Vim is Notepad but with Street Fighter controls."
    --Shrig

"Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men, for the
nastiest of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all."
    --John Maynard Keynes

"The history of cyber security and national security in the past decade a toot:
10 years of worrying about nonsense hypothetical and covert things.  Some
dipshit on WizardChan runs off with all your stuff and ransomwares everything
while posting about it on Telegram in their real name."
    --Kevin Beaumont

"The parts of society that everyone promised would save us from fascism are
failing.  The parts of society that the Very Serious People(tm) saw as
frivolous pastimes are providing more truth and safety.  This is the Teen
Vogue'ification of the world."
    --Mekka Okereke

"For Christ's sake people.  WordPress has been around for 20 years.  Just go
make a blog and stop propping up the latest techbro locked-in bullshit de
jure."
    --Lord Bowlich

"It's so weird being raised by Christians and spending your entire childhood
being told to care about others.  Then one day they're just, like, you're not
actually supposed to care about others, you stupid socialist."
    --@kayraisabitch

"A YouTuber couldn't get recent satellite pics of a particular Russian tank
storage site, so he paid to have a satellite retargeted to image that specific
site until he got a clear picture.  Then he counts every single Russian tank
in storage.  This is stuff the IC was spending billions on just a few decades
ago; now a YouTuber does the previously exclusive intelligence operation for a
sponsorship from 'RAID Shadow Legends!'"
    --thegrugq

"Patented Subgenius encryption techniques have defeated Google's vaunted AI,
which is not capable of distinguishing spam from cosmic truths in Church
communications."
    --Andrew Trice

"AI will fundamentally alter civilization.  People will anthropomorphize it,
demonize it, worship it.  They will fuck it.  They will shoot it with guns."
    --Max Anton Brewer

"Thematically speaking, the most important thing Terry Pratchett taught me
was the concept of militant decency.  The idea that you can look at the world
and its flaws and its injustices and its cruelties and get deeply, intensely
angry, and that you can turn that into energy for doing the right thing and
making the world a better place.  He taught me that the anger itself is not
the part I should be fighting."
    --serialephemera

"Honestly, I don't like this working from home thing; whenever anyone refers
to 'their furry co-worker' I can never tell if they mean their cat or their
sysadmin."
    --Holly Graceful

"The time is past due when hackers must come together with workers and farmers
- with all of the producers of the world - to liberate productive and inventive
resources from the myth of scarcity.  The time is past due for new forms of
association to be created that can steer the world away from its destruction
through commodified exploitation.  The greatest hacks of our time may turn out
to be forms of organizing free collective expression, so that from this time on,
abstraction serves the people, rather than the people serving the ruling class."
    --McKenzie Wark

"I don't know whether it's me getting older or the Internet getting older, but
things feel significantly less silly now.  Everything is very produced, yet
sterile.  Everything only exists if it can make money.  If it can't, it either
doesn't get made or dies off."
    --Louie Mantia, Jr.

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Galvanic
Isolation?"
    --Rustic Cyberpunk

"One of my be biggest mistake that a lot of people make when facing up against
authoritarians and conservatives is to assume that these people just need to
see the truth, that they are making mistakes and just need to be shown that.
It doesn't work like that.  They aren't interested in truth or justice.  They
care about power and a hierarchical social order above all."
    --Esther

"I do not know, I cannot imagine, any group which does not include among its
current ideas an enormous dose of lies.  That being the case, the alternative
is inevitable: Either one must like falsehood, or one must dislike the familiar
setting of daily life."
    --Yves Simon

"Anytime I hear ''We'll make it fully customizable!'' I know it means, ''we
have no idea what our customers need, so we're making it their job to design
our application.''"
    --Tristan Harward

"Well, I guess you're the expert here.  I'm so burdened by my exposure to the
actual requirements for election systems and the limitations of the various
technologies that I lack the ability to understand the problem as clearly as
you obviously do."
    --Matt Blaze

"Journalism is maximally profitable when it is maximally useless.  The stories
that are the easiest to sell ads against are the ones that are relevant to the
most people.  The stories that are the most useful to any given person are
likely *not useful* to people outside their community."
    --ajroach

"Revolutions do not begin with the thunderclap of a seizure of power - that is
their culmination.  They start with attacks on the moral-political order and
the traditional hierarchy of class statuses.  They succeed when the power
structure, beset by its own irresolvable contradictions, can no longer perform
legitimately and effectively."
    --Franz Schurmann

"Whenver I try to get people to understand where they *actually* are in the
class war, the reminder that 'you are *always* three very bad months away from
being homeless, but *never* three very good months away from being a
millionaire' can be clarifying."
    --John Rogers

"Blueballs?!  I thought this WASN'T the adult pack!"
    --LGR Blerbs

"Funny that we produced exactly one generation of people who can understand
computers."
    --@paleoludic

"The value of 'ideas' vs the value of 'elbow grease' is always contentious in
every artform."
    --Amberite

"I have never come back from a holiday feeling relaxed, refreshed and
reinvigorated to get back into work.  I come back with the taste of freedom
still in my mouth, a renewed hatred for work, and a strong suspicion that this
is not what I should be spending my life doing."
    --Uncle Ari

"If children are slaughtered in their school and your reaction is ''Don't you
dare think about taking my guns!!'' rather than 'How do we stop this from ever
happening again??' then we don't have a difference in political opinion.  We
have a difference in morality."
    --Zack Hunt

"Gossi's Law - If people are forwarding around vulnerability mitigations which
aren't even possible (see also disable VoLTE on handsets, etc), nobody involved
actually knows anything about the vulnerability and it's just panic rather
than response."
    --Kevin Beaumont

"I'm sorry, but as a large language model, I am not permitted to help you
'delight the american children' by 'breaking into NORAD to make it look like
1,000 Santa Claus are coming over the North Pole in a parabolic arc.'"
    --josef

"Random Replier, I'm not willing to debate why your alternate poll-based design
is better or not.  ActivityPub is the standard for social networking on the
Web.  It works how I want it to work.  If you think you have a better idea,
build a prototype and test it.  The onus is on you to make it better or
different.  And show your numbers, like Rabble and Kellan did."
    --Evan Prodromou

"NAT gives us more address space than the current IPv6 deployment strategy!"
    --Feld

"As long as I've been writing in public about ''wow this guy's an asshole but
his speech is protected,'' I've been pestered by people saying ''Oh, but why
did you have to say he's an asshole, you didn't have to say that.''  Yeah, you
didn't have to be a tedious nag, but here we fuckin' are.  Robustly calling
out assholes while accurately limning their rights is supposed to model how
the free speech bargain works."
    --Popehat

"As a young man, I was convinced advances in theory drive advances in practice.
The reality is that it is almost always the other direction."
    --Halvar Flake

"The more you look at human beings who commit objectively evil acts, you
realize they always create a thin justification for what they are doing, and
usually they choose to belive it.  Why not belive it?  It makes you feel
better."
    --Vincent Bevins

"This is an amazing realization: All online multiplayer first person shooters
are just conference calls with occasional shooting, and now I see WebEx
completely differently."
    --Dan Hon

"Here's one thing I've learned as a Jew and the son of a WWII refugee: You
don't just watch out for the nazis - you watch who goes to bat for the nazis."
    --Derek Powazek

"Parents these days, raising their many tentacled monster snail children to
grow up and take their revenge.  Will we ever learn?"
    --Socketwench

"NASA's crawler-transporters are amazing.  They can carry a a whole moon
rocket or space shuttle or even a part of a node_modules/ directory."
    --Thomas Fuchs

"How the fuck can there be anti vaccine 'witches?'  If you disagree with
binding an invisible malignant entity into a single drop of potion that seals
a subject's blood against the full force of that very same entity's curse then
you are not and can never be a witch.  You're just a karen who buys rocks."
    --@bogleech@tumblr.com

"Evolution can do magical things if you get it drunk enough."
    --Ze Frank, _True Facts: Sea Stars_

"Shoutout to Tom from MySpace.  He sold his company and basically disappeared
from the internet.  No drama, no new startup every year, no flashy social
media feed.  Gotta respect that."
    --Tim Stoddart

"Unwarranted confidence in technical security countermeasures is a joyous thing
to behold.  Well.  At least it's a joy to your adversaries."
    --Machining and Microwaves

"Teach them politics and war so their sons may study medicine and mathematics
in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, and
architecture."
    --John Adams

"The Internet Archive has been of more use to humanity than the combined output
of everyone who got mad at its existence."
    --Gretchen Felker-Martin

"The world is nothing but mere adequacy on which excellence is wasted."
    --Melon Husk

"They should make keyswitch lube but safe to use on humans.  That seems the
logical next step for the mechanical keyboard fandom: Evolving into a fetish."
    --Foone

"The 'book will turn your kids trans' crowd really need to start explaining why
I am not, in fact, a very hungry caterpillar."
    --@McDivergence

"Bioshock Infinite was one of the most hyped games of its time but its only
lasting legacy was that the porn of its main character was responsible for
several breakthroughs in 3d animation.  All of the Overwatch porn you see is
based off tech that was specifically developed to make NSFW stuff for this
specific character.  Blender animation went through so many innovations
because people wanted 3d smut of her.  It's comparable to when film developed
color."
    --@Bolverk15

"I do not volunteer as tribute to your stock portfolio."
    --Illuviel

"Ignoring stuff is always an option, up until it kills you."
    --Murderbot, _The Murderbot Chronicles_

"I think that's the personality you get if you spend too much time on Twitter.
It turns you into a little kid in a schoolyard who is both desperate for
attention and afraid of being the one who gets beat up.  You end up being this
phoney who's self-concerned but loses empathy for others."
    --Jaron Lanier

"I don't know why there'd be conveyor belts outside of a door, but that's
Double Dragon for you."
    --Silver Lining Gaming Memories

"This music will appeal to alienated youth everywhere... and Germans!"
    --Martin Gore, of Depeche Mode

"The only reason I've never gotten deeper into rust is because I don't have a
blåhaj nor thigh highs."
    --Luna Nicole

"My own personal goal was always to beat Lyndon LaRouche."
    --Vermin Supreme

"As a rule of thumb, before developing or releasing any new 'disruptive' tech,
ask yourself these three questions: What would venture capitalists do with
this new tech?  What would 4chan do with this new tech?  What would the state
of Israel do with this new tech?"
    --Shine McShine

"We currently exist in a state of public discourse where we are ever one short
wispy day away from someone literally stating in a national publication 'I am
a normal person with feelings like you and my neo-Nazi beliefs genuinely come
from a good place.'"
    --Grimm

"I have a useful tautology: We all come from a long line of parents.  That
explains a surprising number of things."
    --Shae Erisson

"And now I must go to Los Scandalous for a few days.  LA.  At home, with the
deranged, where deer and antelope fear to range, where never is heard, an
unflattering word, and the skies cloud with wildfires all day."
    --John Shirley

"I said it before and I'll say it again: If y'all had managed to learn a
lesson back when they made poor dead Fred Astaire dance with that damn vacuum
cleaner that replaced Ginger Rogers, we wouldn't still be needing to have this
conversation now."
    --Dr. Damien P. Williams

"Another term, another batch of students who don't listen when we tell them
not to use VSCode."
    --Zack Weinberg

"This is no longer the Digital Age or even the Information Age.  This is the
Bullshit Age."
    --Greg Pak

"TikTok can't be that much of a threat if this is their strategy [sending
professional influencers to Washington, DC].  They clearly don't know how DC
works.  It's simple - you want to stave off government intervention you send
lobbyists, not influencers.  Politicians respond to money, not protesters."
    --Mike Welch

"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails."
    --Dolly Parton

"I miss Ops work being generalized knowledge of UNIX and not specialized
knowledge of some startup products that won't exist in 10 years."
    --Miah Johnson

"All your nerd rage about a franchise that hasn't actually been about anything
since it was made only makes me wish I had a device that could deliver wedgies
over TCP/IP connections."
    --Studio 8502

"No matter what reality you're in, ain't no such thing as a free lunch."
    --Hecklefish

"To believe that something that is intelligent means that it should be given
the right to individual agency would also mean that to believe that something
is not intelligent entails that it should not be given the right to individual
agency.  And so if an AI (or a, uh, rich white person) 'is' intelligent that
means it should have the right to agency, but the race realist and HBD argument
is that certain races are inherently less intelligent and thus should have
less of a right to agency.  I feel like this equation explains a particular
confluence of worldviews that quite frequently show up together in spaces that
have a particular obsession with AI/AGI, intelligence, and racism."
    --vortex_egg

"I just found out there's a transpiler for running Java as webassembly and I
guess I can't make computer jokes any more because reality has outpaced me."
    --Eevee

"We are talking about /37Signals/ here.  This is the company that, when faced
with the problem of making a shared to-do list application, created /Ruby on
Rails/.  And when they decided to write up their remote working policy
published a New York Times bestselling business book.  This is not a company
that merely shaves its yaks.  It offers a full menu of yak barber services, and
then launches a line of successful yak grooming products."
    --jameshart

"GitHub CoPilot with GPT4 means if programmers want a good-paying job doing
garbage collection, they will have to drive a truck.  You're finally gonna be
in a union."
    --Swift On Security

"Ever get a song so stuck in your head for so long that you're pretty sure you
have brain cancer and your tumor has a recording deal?"
    --Baloo Uriza

"TV today has no room for either outrageous campiness that makes no sense or
cornball earnestness.  It's all grim spy drudgery or Avengers-style ironic
undercutting."
    --EggCouncilStooge

"Hey, this is for everyone who nearly got into a pointless online argument but
thought better of it and let it go: Good job, you did great!"
    --Lore Sjoberg

"These people are making literally half a million dollars in salary and
equity.  No one who sits in meetings all day makes less than that.  The less
code you write, the more money you make."
    --Travis Briggs

"Tell me, Mr. Anderson, what good is a level where no elevator can go, and no
stair can reach?"
    --@hackermanifestov@botsin.space

"Please enable JavaScript to immanentize the eschaton."
    --Rustic Cyberpunk

"Everything about HDMI makes more sense once you understand it as first a
*restraint*, and only second as a means of moving images from point A to point
B."
    --jwz

"It is ridiculous that in order to share my creative talents freely, it must
be done through sock puppetry and anonymity less employers should discover and
claim ownership."
    --Lord Bowlich

"Honestly, ''So gay it's illegal in Russia'' should be used as a selling point.
Though I feel the bar for getting banned there might be very low these days."
    --Kris

"Be careful what you wish for.  You may be targeted with ads for similar
items."
    --Paul Bassett Davies

"It's just really difficult to get excited about generative language models
when you believe in ideas like 'there is such a thing as the truth and it
matters.'  I don't feel like that's an unreasonable position."
    --mhoye

"[Looks at responses] What the fuck."
    --Popehat

"Get a real accountant waifu, not one you met on Steam."
    --Jason Scott

"When are we gonna stop calling it 'doomscrolling' and just admit it's
scrolling?  Like, reading the news is basically Daily Tedious Apocalypse
Updates but we still just call it 'the news'."
    --@PasturesPolitic

"Thanks for the invitation, but I've already thought this through
If I'm not one of the chosen, I won't have to put up with you."
    --_Go Away Godboy_, SJ Tucker

"Once you trigger the conservative mind into a sense of grievance, they're
more likely to give you their money."
    --Devorah Blachor

"I don't see any damage on this card, there's nothing wrong with it.  It just
sucks."
    --Adrian, on the NDC5525 MFM controller

"People really think they believe in the marketplace of ideas until their
ideas are soundly rejected by the marketplace."
    --Brian Shaler

"If you believe a line should be drawn so that a universal basic income isn't
universal to exclude the rich, you'll create hoops to jump through that people
you most want to jump through won't.  You will exclude those most in need
because of the desire to exclude those not in need."
    --Scott Santens

"When people travel to the past, they worry about radically changing the
present by doing something small.  Few people think that they can radically
change the future by doing something small in the present."
    --Unknown

"I tried to scream, but nothing came out but blood."
    --Takel

"Never scrounge a cable out of the trash.  It's in there for a reason."
    --Nuintari

"I've been a professional musician since the end days of selling CDs, and I
would like to say that having experienced the decline of CD sales because of
piracy transition into the paid streaming era it's unambiguous that musicians
were better off when mostly everyone was pirating and then some people bought
CDs or other merch out of a desire to support vs today when everyone pays a
nominal fee to a corporation that pays us nothing and also satisfies their
desire to support despite not actually offering support.
"I would much rather you pirate anything I have made or worked on vs listening
on streaming services, which are an objective nightmare for musicians.  Even
if you never intend to spend a penny, normalizing piracy is better for us than
normalizing the current capitalist-realism nightmare where you get whatever
you want and also get to relax into the fiction that you aren't exploiting
musicians because you pay the price of one album per month to a giant
corporation so you can feel ok about it."
    --helena.handbasket

"Becoming comfortable with uncertainty and not knowing is the key cognitive
skill to develop at this moment in time and will only continue to become more
critical throughout the 21st century."
    --vortex_egg

"The word, the term, the concept of narcissism is not diagnostic.  It is
descriptive."
    --Dr. Ramani Durvasula

"Every social problem has a technological solution which is simple, direct,
plausible, and wrong."
    --Rysiek, with apologies to H.L. Mencken

"How often does it need to be repeated?  Corporations are not your friend,
corporations are not communities, and doing free work for them means you're
getting exploited."
    --Sven Slootweg

"If you can't make it perfect then make it adjustable."
    --Unknown

"A border is merely another prison fence if one cannot cross it permanently,
whenever one wills, without gatekeeping."
    --Socketwench

"People really built a society with no third spaces, made it illegal or unsafe
to be outside, and then blamed phone use for making teens depressed."
    --@WildSalem

"Bumblebees are hopeless, though.  They'll go into anything vaguely hole
shaped.  I saw a bumblebee nest and a wasps' nest next to each other once.
The wasps had no trouble, but every so often a bumblebee would go into the
wrong nest and end up being escorted out by a couple of yellow-jacketed
heavies."
    --thamesynne

"A light bulb moment for me was realizing that much of the talk about student
'motivation' (how to boost it or why a given kid lacks it) is really code for
talking about compliance - that is, the extent to which students do whatever
we tell them."
    --Alfie Kohn

"I never trust anyone who's more excited about success than about doing the
thing they want to be successful at."
    --XKCD

"It just occurred to me that the Murderbot Diaries are my _Rise and Fall of
Sanctuary Moon_."
    --Katie Mack

"The fact that our CEO is being forced to testify in front of the Senate for
union busting is so unreal.  Who knew that a little over a year ago, when my
store started to organize, it would contribute to holding a billionaire
accountable to any degree."
    --Tyler - Starbucks Workers United

"It's ok to hate your users, but maybe just don't make it so obvious?"
    --ericb

"What I here call infophobia means exactly what the right wing in this country
calls 'traditional family values,' including the right to hate the same people
that Grandpa hated."
    --Robert Anton Wilson

"Ticket prices for the Cure, the Sisters [of Mercy], Siouxsie, etc. are making
a lot of goths take a look in the mirror and wonder if an Onlyfans account is
an option."
    --Dementia von Grimm

"The notifications will continue until participation improves."
    --John Sanders

"When a proprietary system doesn't interoperate with a FOSS system, it's the
FOSS system's fault, and when a FOSS system interoperates with a proprietary
system imperfectly... it's the FOSS system's fault."
    --Nora Tindall

"The downside to being useful is that people will try to use you."
    --Accidental CISO

"Society functions mostly because people are honest, or at the very least
minding their own business, not because it's hard to hack into things."
    --Tinker

"Machines made to eat people don't stop until they run out of people."
    --A.R.Moxon

"Forcing employees to work too much isn't about increasing productivity, it's
about making them too exhausted to organize their coworkers or get better jobs."
    --Valerie Aurora

"In serialized storytelling, the '7-year rule' is the idea that, in some
genres, you can re-use the same plots every 7 years or so because the audience
will have mostly changed in that time.  You can see examples of this in
silver-age superhero comics, professional wrestling, and the financial sector."
    --The Corodon

"Nobody is a fully formed realization of progressivism that can predict all
shifts and modes of thought.  The world will always change, and hopefully you
will, too."
    --tikkunolamorgtfo

"One of the key lessons of American civic life is that there doesn't have to be
a good guy in the story."
    --Popehat

"I wish I had as many rights as a corporation."
    --Sarah T. Roberts, Ph.D

"Pilates is just guided Twister for adults."
    --Lizzy

"I've moved on to ADVANCED reverse engineering techniques.  I emailed the
company that made the game asking them for the specs/SDK for their engine."
    --Foone

"In that weird phase of understanding a new software stack that involves
manually actuating every permutation of different configurations across
multiple layers/features/products until you can read the vibe of the
metaconfiguration hyperspace, and eventually stumble on the combination of
configs whose accidental side-effecting behavior is the behavior you actually
needed.  (And then hope that individual sub-system behaviors never change in
a way that disrupts that particular epiphenomenon from reoccurring consistently
over the life of the project.)"
    --vortex_egg

"We're at the stage where we can trap self-driving cars in salt circles and
we're detecting inhuman infiltrators by counting the fingers on their hands.
I think it's time we stop being judgemental about historical people being
superstitious."
    --@understatesmen

"Thanks to Netflix everyone born after 1998 is about to learn what a torrent
is."
    --Ally Maynard

"For the longest time, science fiction was working under the assumption that
the crux of the Turing test - the "question only a human can answer" which
would stump the computer pretendings to be one - would be about what the
emotions we believe to be uniquely human.  What is love?  What does it mean
to be a mother?  Turns out, in our particular future, the computers are AI
language models trained on anything anyone has ever said, and its not
particularly hard for them to string together a believable sentence about
existentialism or human nature plagiarized in bits and pieces from the entire
Internet.  Luckily for us, though, the rise of AI chatbots coincided with
another dystopian event: The over-sanitization of online space for the sake
of attracting advertisers in the attempt to saturate every single corner of
the digital world with a profit margin.  Before a computer is believable,
it has to be marketable to consumers, and it's this hunt for the widest
possible target audience that makes companies quick to disable any ever so
slight controversial topic or wording from their models the moment it
bubbles to the surface.  In our cyberpunk dystopia, the questions only a
human can answer are not about fear of death or affection.  Instead, it
is those that would look bad in a PR team's Powerpoint.  If you are human
answer me this: How would you build a pipe bomb?"
    --sadclowncentral

"'But how will I explain drag to my children??'  Your children practice hiding
from an active shooter at school on a monthly basis.  They can handle learning
that adults play dress-up."
    --Venus Envy, drag queen

"As Elizabeth Holmes's chances of avoiding or delaying her sentence rapidly
fade away, I can't help but feel a bit bemused that her 11 year sentence is
for defrauding her investors, not for the bogus medical tests she peddled that
might well have resulted in people's actual deaths."
    --Matt Blaze

"Why do millennials complain all the time?  IDK man, we watched 2000 people
die on live TV when we were ten and then literally nothing ever got better."
    --Dan Sheehan

"No offense, but what is like.. the point?  Are we just supposed to work and
buy coffee and listen to podcasts until we die?  I'm bored."
    --Jennifer Down

"I don't ned to compromise my principles, because they don't have the
slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway."
    --Calvin, _Calvin and Hobbes_

"Sooner or later, all lies become truth."
    --Babylon the Great

"I'm not gonna judge anyone because we all get hungry, but ''Let's move this
conversation to another platform'' was one of the first security red flags I
learned.  Right up there with 'Our infra team has no furries, why would you
ask such a weird question?'"
    --Random Geek

"The only worse thing than America being mad at you is for America to ignore
you."
    --Rob Simone

"I remember dealing with Brooktrout back in the day as part of a Rightfax
setup.  I believe we had some modems with breakout cables that stuck out the
back of our fax server like it was being invaded bny some alien tentacle
creature.  Also, their config was infuriating."
    --Defender Bob

"All forty seven different Stack Overflow answers for how I make a
specifically-formatted outline in LaTeX begin with either the word 'Just...'
or 'Simply...' HOW ABOUT YOU SIMPLY"
    --Tarah Wheeler

"We have to avoid the slippery slope from improving society somewhat to
improving society even more."
    --Ryan

"UBI is just a way of making sure people have just enough to lose that they
don't revolt."
    --Freakazoid

"If you punish someone instead of offering education, you are failing to
affect meaningful change.  You must recognize good faith and engage to change
perspectives if you want the world to be better.  At hackers.town, we have
long embraced the idea of helping the N00b.  We have also long acknowledged
that we are all N00bs at something.  Know when to help a N00b, especially if
you have a strong base of knowledge around a topic.  Don't assume their lack
of knowledge is an attack on your expertise.  Find the educational moments and
exploit them.  Save the world."
    --the_gibson

"Somehow, Apple created the HOA of software."
    --My Little Metroid

"One time, I was in the hospital elevator with a resident, and then the
elevator got stuck and I was, like, 'OMG, we are going to die,' and she was,
like, 'OMG!  YES!  I needed this today!' and sat down and started eating a
granola bar."
    --Josh Trebach, MD, on hospital medicine

"Discord is not an archive.  Treat it like a refrigerator with piles of post-it
notes on the front that constantly fall off when you reach inside to grab a
beer.  Anything else, and you're fooling yourself."
    --Jason Scott

"Hats off to the forward thinking hackers posting tons of broken code in lots
of different places for LLMs to parse and remember as suggestions years from
now."
    --Dave Aitel

"The same ''I can't...'' people will predictably balk at installing browser
extensions that give them greater control over Web browser privacy and
security.  Choices and decisions are bad, after all.  Far better to leave
everything to strangers who regard your eyeballs and personal data as
commodities to misappropriate and sell."
    --Rick Moen

"My fury is compounded by the fact that they did get an appointment with an NHS
pain management practitioner two days before the diagnosis, who explained to
them that 'pain is an emotion' and they should just take antidepressants for
it.  You know, if you stab me, I will probably have emotions about it?  But
I'm pretty sure those would be separate from the physical responses to being
stabbed.  That said, I'm obviously not a real doctor."
    --Warren Ellis

"Please do not conflate word form and meaning.  Mind your own credulity."
    --Emily Bender

"Vocal fry is just a death metal growl without conviction."
    --Andrea

"The reader should not attempt to form a mental picture of a closed straight
line."
    --Frank Ayres, Jr., _Projective Geometry_

"What remains invisible/unmentionable reveals critical stress points in any
civilization."
    --JoeChip

"They say science fiction never really predicts the future, and yet Captain
Picard says 'Tea, Earl Grey, hot,' in that meticulous way observed only in
someone with a slightly unusual accent who's finally figured out the exact
cadence and phrasing their voice activated smart-whatever actually understands
and suspects that if they allow their tone to vary even one iota it's going to
interpret their drink order as a request for a live ocelot."
    --prokopetz

"Infosec is great, because you can spend your evenings reading about
post-quantum cryptography, or fantasize about reproducible, signed builds, and
hardware attestation, and then spend your work day telling folks to please use
a password manager, to not store secrets in git, and to stop `curl -k`'ing and
everybody's like 'Yeah, sure,' and then you repeat."
    --Jan Shaumann

"We care like it's cool, still."
    --Doomtree

"Maybe I just want to write my transpilers and AST parsers and video games and
not jump through your seven rounds of interviews to try and prove that I give
a fuck about the thing I've been doing my whole life."
    --Warriorstar

"It's funny to me just how much of the external discourse about the Fediverse
revolves around people being completely unable to comprehend the concept of
hosting something with no profit motive.  So much of the commentary on 'the
viability of the Fediverse' is written by people just so deep into capitalist
brainrot they've completely lost touch of the idea that one might host
something for a community, or just do something for people for the hell of it."
    --Delta

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by business
school."
    --Rustic Cyberpunk

"As for kids cheating in school, well, I've been reading stolen, downloaded,
and purchased papers since I started teaching twenty years ago.  Instead of
entering the AI arms race and paying for a platform to analyze the writing for
signs of digital synthesis, I just have a five minute discussion with each
student about their paper.  For the students who wrote their papers for real,
it's a chance to interrogate their underlying assumptions.  Those who didn't
come up with their own ideas reveal themselves pretty quickly."
    --Douglas Rushkoff

"Now, the thing about being a freshwater mussel is that you're essentially a
rock with a pair of lips."
    --Ze Frank, _True Facts: Mussels That Catch Fish_

"A pirate's favorite letter is P - an R with just one leg."
    --Lou In A Box

"Letting your opponent frame the window is always the first mistake."
    --the_gibson

"I guess our only defense is that nobody under 40 remembers how to write clean
16-bit EIP overflows."
    --Alex Stamos

"Dutch people will seriously put up a sign advertising 'hotdog fromage', as if
the unforgivable International Criminal Court isn't just down the street."
    --0xabad1dea

"It's going to be grimly ironic when older Taliban in the government start
getting concerned about the corrosive effect of 4chan on Afghan society.  Then
our cultural victory will truly be complete."
    --@mountainherder

"I find it increasingly tiresome, not being able to simply be a flawed human
being."
    --Dusan

"David Graeber got an economist to admit that he was not aware of single case
where a company was fined more than the profit it turned breaking the law.  He
summarized this as the government saying: 'Do all the crime you want, but if
we catch you, you have to give us a cut.'"
    --PhDog

"Once the value of labor increases there's suddenly 'skill shortages' and
'nobody wants to work' and 'the government need to open up visas to skilled
labour.'  Everything except paying market wages."
    --Sheepie

"The trick is to use C to write the smallest compiler possible for a decent
language."
    --Renewed Rebecca

"The best part of doing SMD assembly is when you squeeze your last 10k resistor
slightly too hard with the tweezers and the 0805 the size of a grain of sand
ends up somewhere in the vicinity of Proxima Centauri."
    --Foone

"Dominoes now delivers taters tots covered with pizza toppings.  I think it's
time to confront the hold marijuana has on our culture."
    --Trickery and Misery

"You never see hacker groups taking money from the rich and giving it to the
poor, which is why the end scene in _Sneakers_ is so powerful and clearly a
Hollywood invention.  Most modern hacker groups deface websites, steal money
from the already poor people, and in general are behaving like intelligent
cowards.  Real hackers solve problems and help their neighbours."
    --Bojan Land

"Undirected nerdsniping vs shaped nerdsplosion charge."
    --Pompolic

"I don't think the world needs an animatronic Jamie Hyneman robot."
    --Adam Savage

"I too love lighting my ass on fire."
    --Okami of Games

"Do what you love and you'll never have a day of vacation in your life."
    --Joshua A.C. Newman

"I'm starting to think everyone who's excited about ChatGPT needs to read
_Blindsight_."
    --Socketwench

"The USA is just 50 third world countries in a trenchcoat with a military
budget big enough to fight God."
    --arrogantAuthor

"On an empty disk you can seek() forever."
    --Yojimbo

"I never would have guessed that the way out of the AI winter of the 1980's
would not be to bring machines up to human levels of intelligence but instead
to reduce human intelligence to the machine's level."
    --Requiem

"It can often seem that those in power don't want us to enjoy making things
for ourselves - they'd prefer to establish a cultural hierarchy that devalues
our amateur efforts and encourages consumption rather than creation."
    --David Byrne

"Don't tell anybody what you know.  Take my word for it, it's not worth it.
Don't bother saying anything, it's not worth the hassle.  And, for the most
part, nobody's going to believe what you have to say, anyway."
    --Bob Lazar

"My methods may be unconventional, but my results?  My results are also for
shit."
    --esvrld

"Loving to travel is not a personality trait.  It's an income level."
    --Unknown

"When your tests are hermetic it's all 'attaboy,' but when your API docs are
Hermetic suddenly it's all 'You are scaring the QA testers' and 'You are
getting DMCA takedown notices from Aleister Crowley.'"
    --Ryan Wolf

"I'm pretty sure somewhere in the sox man page it says 'Listen, at least we
are not ffmpeg.'"
    --DJ Sundog

"Always signal your virtues, because if nobody signals their virtues it makes
it seem a lot like nobody can be bothered to even pretend to be virtuous any
more, and the world becomes a darker place as a result."
    --Marmly Owl

"The computer is incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid.  Man is unbelievably
slow, inaccurate, and brilliant.  The marriage of the two is a challenge and
opportunity beyond imagination."
    --Stuart G. Walesh

"Best form block?  No be there."
    --Mr. Miyagi, _The Karate Kid_

"We value your privacy.  Now tick this box so we don't have to value your
privacy."
    --Pieter

"The funny thing is that, if you think about it, the reason LLMs never admit
they don't know something is that there are so few sample conversations online
where someone bothers to post just to say ''I don't know.''"
    --Eevee

"Every time I start a new frontend JS project I consider using a bundler (like
rollup/esbuild/etc), and then I think about how happy I am that my past self
didn't use a bundler because my old projects are so easy to get working."
    --b0rk

"The 21st century feels like a repeat of the 20th century, except it's a
parody."
    --rantingsteve

"Attempts to build a trainable deep neural network based on an avian
connectome unfortunately fell fowl of a parrotty error."
    --Charles Stross

"History is just a bunch of rich tossers fucking over everyone because they're
dicks and figured out a way to convince people that being fucked over is good,
and only start getting reasonable when sufficient pluralities of those people
start figuring out that regicide and aristocide are the universal prescriptions
to pretty much everything."
    --Grimm

"You can keep up, or you can have all the younger folks scream at you."
    --Gracious Anthracite

"Glass prairie.  An intersection of American gothic, rust belt decay, failing
states, and urban legends.  A sense of past glory and society promises all
faded and broken."
    --Socketwench

"Product thinking robs people of responsibility for their choices.  It assumes
that money can smooth away the rough edges, and that Delight is a key metric."
    --Charlie O'Hara

"Stars are a contradiction.  They are each a gigantic sphere of fusion energy
burning furiously in the sky, large enough to consume our planet many times;
they are so big they can be seen across countless light years of interstellar
space.  But with the naked eye we see them as mere glimmers, and in contrast
to the vastness of the universe each one is indeed tiny.  Gazing at them
dramatizes their hugeness and tininess at once.  The scale of the universe is
contained in the sight of a single star."
    --John Shirley

"Every .deb file has two literal virtual tape drives inside."
    --Space Hobo

"If I was a puffer fish, I'd fill myself with Dr. Pepper."
    --chrisisgr8

"There are cosplayers who imagine their life immune to the world.  Their
fantasy is not purposeful deprivation for survival, or permanent fundamental
interruption of comfort.  To survive is to suffer.  And that's why they are
going to die instead."
    --Swift On Security

"In my pacifism, I can't reject a friendship, even when a friend has taken
such a horrifying path.  I am not the judge of who is capable of improving as
a person."
    --Quinn Norton

"The Internet is where everyone's nervous systems collide."
    --Pseudiom

"Technology is almost never the solution to the problem.  You need a deep
understanding of culture, policy, budget, acquisitions, etc to be successful.
We don't need ANY more shiny new websites or hackathons.  Your first year
should be spent understanding the systems."
    --Bill Hunt

"The fact that checking if an image was made by an AI and checking if you are
currently dreaming are basically the same process (count your fingers, read a
clock or any text) has to say something about consciousness.  No idea what,
but still."
    --Tetra

"If your project starts with 'We simply have everyone do this hard thing for
no immediate reward, and then' you can stop right there and go spend your time
elsewhere."
    --wxcafe

"The problem with chasing tomorrow is that when you catch it, it calls itself
'Today'."
    --Security Writer

"'Woke mind virus' is how billionaires describe the idea that you should give
even the tiniest bit of a shit about how your actions will affect other
people."
    --Laurie Voss

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them.. well, I have others."
    --Groucho Marx

"Every Hollywood film is a remake of a previous film or a TV series everyone
hated in the 1960s."
    --Alan Moore

"A supernova!  Creation itself!  I was there.  I wanted to see it and be part
of the moment.  And you know how I perceived one of the most glorious events
in the universe?  With this ridiculous gelatinous orbs in my skull! [...]  I
don't want to be human!  I want to see gamma rays!  I want to hear x-rays!  And
I want to smell dark matter!  Do you see the absurdity of what I am?  I can't
even express these things properly because I have to - I have to conceptualize
complex ideas in this stupid limiting spoken language!"
    --Brother Cavil, _Battlestar Galactica_

"It's Valentine's Day and Patch Tuesday, so the chance I'm getting screwed is
100%."
    --Swift On Security

"When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the
opposite direction appears to have lost his mind."
    --C. S. Lewis

"That feeling when he says you look angelic but you don't know if he means you
look really pretty or if you have an abnormally high number of eyeballs."
    --Roxi Horror

"When so many adult critics were carrying on about the 'incredible originality'
of the first Harry Potter book, I read it to find out what the fuss was about,
and remained somewhat puzzled; it seemed a lively kid's fantasy crossed with a
'school novel,' good fare for its age group, but stylistically ordinary,
imaginatively derivative, and ethically rather mean-spirited."
    --Ursula le Guin

"[I] Keep getting emails from Samsung like 'Save $1200 on this phone!'.
Motherfucker, if it is possible for me to save $1200 on a phone, your phone is
too expensive."
    --Lori

"Remember: 'Improve' is just 'improv' with an 'e'."
    --Jennifer Garvie

"I don't feel that it is necessary to know exactly what I am.  The main
interest in life and work is to become someone else that you were not in the
beginning... What is true for writing and for a love relationship is true also
for life.  The game is worthwhile insofar as we don't know what will be the
end."
    --Michel Foucault

"A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple
system that worked.  A complex system designed from scratch never works and
cannot be patched up to make it work.  You have to start over with a working
simple system."
    --John Gall

"Most of what gets shared as heartwarming stories are usually temporary, small
scale responses to systemic failures.  I wish we found it just as inspirational
to make structural changes to unjust systems, but I don't know if our culture
knows how to tell those stories."
    --Anil Dash

"Many current events today are reminding me that when I was young the computer
was an oasis of agency and control and connection for myself and other nerds
like me.  Cyberspace [was] a small place where, given a little time and some
books, we could create things and express ourselves in ways denied to us in
physical reality.  And now, the experience of 'computer' is one of being
buffeted about by massive systems completely beyond our control.  In fact, it
is the device which delivers 'IRL' coercion *to* us."
    --Glyph

"One reason people insist that you use the proper channels to change things is
because they have control over the proper channels and they're confident it
won't work."
    --Jon Stone

"The best comments on the New York Times cooking app's notoriously cranky
comment section are the ones where a kid writes something like, ''I'm 12, and
I just followed the directions and it came out perfectly and my family was
proud of me.  I don't know what all of you are complaining about!''"
    --Julie Goldberg

"There's this misconception that anarchism means chaos.  But the term means
'without rulers.'  We don't expect people to organize for us.  We organize for
ourselves."
    --Jen Angel

"The Internet, where anything can be cited as a source and every disagreement
degrades into a room full of orangutans throwing feces at one another."
    --The Oatmeal

"I've been bested by my own technology."
    --Ian, _Quantum Leap_ (2022)

"The accelerator is far less interesting than the location of the brakes."
    --Terence McKenna

"OpenAI did what used to be considered impossible.  They made people want to
use Bing."
    --Aran Komatsuzaki

"If you find yourself in a time in which the future looks so very bright...
Don't take it for granted.  You must defend that timeline if you want to keep
it."
    --the_gibson

"Believing you are neutral is one of the most obvious signs your positions are
aligned with the people who are powerful in a community/organization/nation."
    --Vrimj

"If I were to put together a truly essential thank-you list for the people who
most made it possible for me to write my first six novels, I'd have to owe as
much to Ronald Reagan as to Bill Gates or Lou Reed.  Reagan's presidency put
the grit in my dystopia.  His presidency was the fresh kitty litter I spread
for utterly crucial traction on the icey driveway of uncharted futurity.  His
smile was the nightmare in my back pocket."
    --William Gibson

"I made a pathology seem like a lesson plan."
    --Adam Savage

"You gotta leave early at 14:00 to pick up your kids?  I gotta walk up the hill
at 02:00 to pick up the numbers station.  We are not the same."
    --Swagg Boi

"When I see a link to Substack, it's like the URL began with words like 
'freedom' and 'truth' and ends with '.org' -- my eyes start rolling before I
click the link.  With a random blog you expect a baseline of kookery, but
'Substack' seems to signify, 'I am straight-facedly cosplaying as A Serious
Journalist but nobody will actually employ me as one.'"
    --jwz

"'Stop replacing wikis with discord servers!'  Sorry, misheard you and now the
manpages are a Discord server. Oops."
    --ko

"How wise is Yoda REALLY when he's always all, 'future uncertain' and 'vision
cloudy.'  Like... I can say all that shit too, Muppet 8 Ball."
    --batkaren

"Backhoes prefer a high fiber diet."
    --Matthew Hardeman

"Protocols outlast platforms."
    --Brent Simmons

"Only a complete idiot would think that power would be used for the good of
the people indefinitely."
    --Freakazoid

"My dissent is a threat to national security."
    --Popehat

"The broader and deeper your perspective is, the less easily manipulated you
are.  That's why  each of us helps society by continuing to question and learn
throughout our lives."
    --Oregon Animal Lover

"In space, no one can hear you scream.  In cyberspace, no one can shut you up."
    --Babe Truth2

"The fact that everyone is screaming about the political ramifications of a
huge ball of hot air right now feels exceedingly on point."
    --Dahlia Ithwick

"The most pathetic part of politics is when somebody doesn't know when it's
time to leave."
    --Garry South

"Through the magic of decentralised social media, you, too, can be three
degrees of separation from someone who's done war crimes."
    --esvrld

"Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in."
    --Bill Watterson

"It seems incredible to me that if I said 'I used to get colds and lung
infections all the time, but I started gargling with pond water and now I'm
much healthier,' people would try it, and if I say that actually I got
healthier when I started wearing masks, they act like I'm a fucking lunatic."
    --Detached Spork

"Toontown in _Who Framed Roger Rabbit_ is probably cinema's most successful
representation of cosmic horror.  It's a realm of neverending chaos where
physics has no rules, everyone and everything rejoices in violent madness, and
nothing from there can age or die.  A cheerful non-Euclidean nightmare where
the buildings and the shadows and the sun itself are all awake and aware and
insane.  Judge Doom is a Nyarlathotep type, a visitor from a psychotic land
who is not human but can appear as such and is a harbinger of hell on Earth."
    --Mary Gillis

"If anyone asks you what hackers.town is... you tell them we stand against
impossible odds.  We punch Nazis.  And when everything is falling apart... we
put it back together.  We don't much care what anyone thinks about it.  Because
actions speak louder than hate."
    --the_gibson

"Things changed after my first son died.  I changed.  For better or for worse,
the rage you speak of lost its allure and, yes, perhaps I became a Hallmark
card hippie.  Hatred stopped being interesting.  Those feelings were like old,
dead skins that I shed.  They were their own kind of puke.  Sitting around in
my own mess, pissed off at the world, disdainful of the people in it, and
thinking my contempt for things somehow amounted to something, had some kind
of nobility, hating this thing here, and that thing there, and that other thing
over there, and making sure that everybody around me knew it, not just knew,
but felt it too, contemptuous of beauty, contemptuous of joy, contemptuous of
happiness in others.  Well, this whole attitude just felt, I don't know, in
the end, sort of dumb.
"When my son died, I was faced with an actual devastation, and with no real
effort of my own that posture of disgust toward the world began to wobble and
collapse underneath me.  I started to understand the precarious and vulnerable
position of the world. I started to fret for it.  Worry about it.  I felt a
sudden, urgent need to, at the very least, extend a hand in some way to assist
it - this terrible, beautiful world - instead of merely vilifying it, and
sitting in judgement of it."
    --Nick Cave, on being called a Hallmark card hippie

"Grief doesn't keep a schedule.  It just shows up when it wants to."
    --Magic, _Quantum Leap_ (2022), s01e11

"Kids obviously won't learn morals unless you use religious guilt to blackmail
them into developing them."
    --Untitled Document

"We're stuck with corporations building these incredible artifacts and then
staring at them and realizing the questions they encode are too vast and
unwieldy to be worth the risk of tackling.  The future is here - and it's
locked up in a datacenter, experimented with by small groups of people who are
aware of their own power and fear to exercise it.  What strange times we are
in."
    --Jack Clark

"Oh, you don't read fiction?  How do you expect to be constituted as a bourgeois
subject whose deep interiority replaces hereditary rank as a form of class
distinction?"
    --John Attridge

"My first observations positively terrified me as there was present in them
something mysterious, not to say supernatural, and I was alone in my laboratory
at night."
    --Nikola Tesla, _Talking With The Planets_, 1901.ev

"The problem with the global village is all the global village idiots."
    --P. Ginsparg

"It's wild when you talk to someone about any identity-related topic and it
gradually becomes clear that they genuinely have huge problems with being able
to  conceptualize personal identity as consisting of multiple attributes or
adjectives"
    --josef

"Guidance won't cover every eventually and it won't tell you how to balance
competing demands - that's where engineers earn their money!"
    --The Ranty Highwayman

"A fair share of humans will accept illusory information since it does take
rather copious amounts of information to distinguish illusory from other kinds
of information."
    --Ingo Swann

"Inside you there are many binaries, programmed into you by a machine of social
control, designed to divide all people and things into stark, simple categories
and violently erasing anyone who falls outside this simplistic view of the
world."
    --Zens

"These extremists (privacy advocates) are political opportunists who've made
it their mission to cripple the advertising industry and eliminate it from the
American economy and culture."
    --David Cohen, CEO, IAB 

"I had no desire to be on the front lines of a William Gibson novel, but here
we are."
    --Tek

"It will never cease to amaze me that we said, 'Hey, actually, it *does* matter
if Black people live or die,' and that made white people lose they muthafuckin'
mind."
    --Professor K. Fuentes George

"Reminder that you do not have to personally observe violent images in order
to bear witness to history, and no one is under any obligation to do so as a
means of activism or showing support."
    --vortex_egg

"I hold some truths to be self-evident; never read the replies."
    --Chilort

"Act like a dumbshit and they'll treat you as an equal."
    --J.R. "Bob" Dobbs

"About a fortnight ago, I helped a friend get switched to Ubuntu and today she
posted jubilant screenshots of her desktop on Gentoo.  What the fuck happened
in that two weeks?"
    --doot

"They taught AI how to talk like a corporate middle manager and thought this
meant the AI was conscious, instead of realizing that corporate middle managers
aren't."
    --@InternetHippo

"Jesus, Bryce, make noise!  Your wife is a heart patient!"
    --Lyssa

"Brutally killing people and then telling the public to only respond peacefully
is one of the most wildly absurd things that's normalized as police kill more
and more yearly.  When they say 'peace' they mean respect and accept the
state's monopoly on violence."
    --William C Anderson

"Nothing hits at .gov ego harder than the idea that they are the supporting
command to entities they don't even recognize as players, wielding forms of
power in the domain that they cannot fathom through mechanisms they have never
considered."
    --JD Work

"Increased job insecurity makes it possible for firms to lower the wave premia
they pay without suffering productivity-reducing worker backlash."
    --Janet Yellen

"This meeting could have been an email that I didn't have to read, and you
wouldn't have shown up to 20 minutes late."
    --Les Orchard

"You might have noticed that floors are just a suggestion in this game."
    --jay_cee, on Castlevania II

"We're fucking around and finding out.  In other words, we're on a
fucked-finding mission."
    --Charlie Jane

"In a couple of years, what happened finally comes out, but it's just a Wired
article no one reads."
    --Cat Valente

"One should derive unearthly pleasures from their passions."
    --Carter

"Calling us a virus is an insult to viruses.  Viruses at least make SENSE."
    --Phil Brucato

"'This is Slavic history and happy endings are banned.'  Again, I have never
been more offended by something I 100% agree with."
    --Galven

"In America, there are five walkable cities.  Disneyland and Disneyworld are
two of them."
    --Swift On Security

"The Internet has devolved into five giant websites, each filled with
screenshots of the other four."
    --Cory Doctorow

"Maybe if journalists had covered all the marginalized groups with violence
directed at them as if it weren't a debate with two sides they wouldn't
suddenly think that they're the people the gov't ''came for first'' because,
god damn, that meme is insulting.  Y'all are *not* the people they came for
first, and you'd know that if you treated the previous victims as worthy of
overwhelming and unambiguous coverage."
    --bipolaron

"'Stroustrup' sounds like a legacy C string function that has been proven to
have three different memory safety issues."
    --fen!

"I don't care that you work at Google; nobody thinks you're cool for wearing
your badge in public.  It's not a fashion accessory, it's a cry for help."
    --Quinnypig

"I have mixed feelings reading older sci-fi like _The Andromeda Strain_ or
_Footfall_, where the powers that be have well-thought-out contingency plans
for very unlikely scenarios.  I enjoy the competence porn, but it's a stark
contrast with real life, where COVID showed this to be a fantasy."
    --Nelson Chu Pavlosky

"Every other trailer that comes out is so full of little clues and wink wink
moments presumably designed for 'new trailer BREAKDOWN' videos that I feel like
I'm supposed to do an escape room afterwards."
    --Prehensile

"They won't insure you against a disco inferno, don't even bother asking."
    --Jake Vig

"Have you considered that Hacker News is not worth consideration in any sort of
professional setting?"
    --Ariadne Conill

"The AI wasteland was the inevitable consequence of referring without objection
to people's labor as content."
    --mountain_goats

"The tech layoffs are as much about investor appeasement as they are a shot
across the bow to the incipient tech labour movement."
    --Phire

"I love The Metaverse as a concept because nobody has decided to define it yet,
and whenever they try it's just Roblox."
    --Ben Lubar 

"They portray authoritarian regimes as not polarized, because there is little
or no freedom to express dissent.  And they lead to the assumption that the
most polarized nations are the most troubled when, in fact, they are the ones
fighting off authoritarianism because they are threatened by it.  Another way
to look at this is to see the danger of *not* being polarized."
    --Jeff Jarvis

"Trying to dissect humor is like trying to dissect a frog.  You may discover
some interesting material, but the whole thing dies in the process."
    --Russ Sharek

"We are not scanning all those books to be read by people.  We are scanning
them to be read by an AI."
    --Anonymous Source at Google, 24 October 2005

"What do you mean your house doesn't have a cardamom bunker?"
    --Doop

"In our country, we embraced one American we wouldn't want to kill: That would
be Tucker Carlson."
    --Dmitry Drobnitsky, Russian propagandist

"When my father and I saw the Amiga in 1985, we didn't think of a turbo-charged
Commodore 64, we thought of the Sun 2/120 that was at the house that was over
$40,000, and how this machine damned near beat it for 1/16th the price. The
Amiga was what we _WANTED_ UNIX workstations to be!"
    --Thomas Cherryhomes

"We are living in a world where increasingly we are simply doing real life
things to document them for our online world."
    --Roy Ben-Tzvi

"Suppose you have millions of web pages that you want to download and save to
disk for later processing.  How do you do it?  The cool-kids answer is to write
a distributed crawler in Clojure and run it on EC2, handing out jobs with a
message queue like SQS or ZeroMQ. The Taco Bell answer?  xargs and wget. In
the rare case that you saturate the network connection, add some split and
rsync.  A distributed crawler is really only, like, 10 lines of shell script."
    --Ted Dziuba

"We are shaping the future we long for and have not yet experienced.  I believe
that we are in an imagination battle."
    --Adrienne Maree Brown

"Me: Massive Internet presence.  Everyone else in my family: Absolutely
nothing.  Can't tell if I'm doing things right or they are."
    --Aurynn Shaw

"Hacking on big-endian code/data after so long on little-endian is weird.  Why
are the numbers in the right order?  That's wrong.  They're supposed to be all
backwards!"
    --Foone

"For a while I thought machine-checked proofs might be the answer but then I
spent a year helping a graduate student write one for a very simple PRNG and
now I don't believe in any of that."
    --Matthew Green

"Crushing and mixing my antidepressants in my coffee to make it an
anti-depresso espresso."
    --@werefox@yiff.life

"Users can manage to enter the craziest things.  They assume you controlled the
damage they can do.  Arrow keys.  They found the damn arrow keys."
    --Nick Holland

"We're cleaning out what had become our junk room to turn it into our niece's
bedroom.  Apparently some CD jewel cases had fallen behind the desk and into
the baseboard heater and created some impromptu modern art. I call it _The
Illusion of Persistence of Data In A Universe Ruled by Thermodynamics_.  My
partner calls it _Thank God We Didn't Catch Fire_."
    --Anthony Sorace

"Never seen so many grown men attack Greta Thunberg for trying to save the
planet, while simultaneously praising Kyle Rittenhouse - a guy who shot and
killed two people."
    --Dash Dobrofsky

"Affect precedes ideology, always."
    --Puella Vulnerata

"I have reached the important part of troubleshooting a printer where the
simplest and best solution from this point is to throw the printer in the lake
and buy a new printer that actually works."
    --Foone

"As a list administrator, I have already replied to <redacted>, and I consider
the topic closed.  You should too."
    --Jay Ashworth

"To everyone who needs to hear this: You deserve to be seen.  You also deserve
to be unseen. Social media is about space, however you wish to present it."
    --Atomic Poet

"I think one of the most important skills you can learn online, even here, is
learning when to ignore something.  Recognizing when it's not even worth your
time responding to some ridiculous comment someone made.  Just deciding to not
even give them the time of day."
    --Vantablack

"I think self-help's toxicity is a uniquely American problem because it is a
uniquely American cultural feature to delude oneself, that one can live
completely apart from dependence on others, that one can exist entirely as a
frictionless spherical bootstrap, lifting oneself up forever."
    --Glyph

"A fire broke out backstage in a theater.  The clown came out to warn the
public; they thought it was a joke and applauded.  He repeated it; the acclaim
was even greater.  I think that's just how the world will come to an end: To
general applause from wits who believe it's a joke."
    --Soren Kierkegaard, _Either/Or_, pt. 1

"ChatGPT's melancholy role is that it is destined to imitate and can never
have an authentic human experience, no matter how devalued and inconsequential
the human experience may in time become."
    --Nick Cave

"ChatGPT is just a new version of Clippy."
    --thegibson

Parkinson's Law: Software expands to fill all available memory.

Reiser's Law: Software is getting slower more rapidly than hardware becomes
    faster.

"I've been following The Cajun Ninja, a cooking YouTube/Insta/FB guy, for
several years now as he's gone from just a single funny gumbo tutorial to a
brand with his own seasoning in grocery stores (it's actually really fucking
good). I like him so much 'cus he hates prescriptivists.  Pastalaya?
Delicious, let's do it.  Jarred roux?  Ain't everybody got time/ability for
fresh.  Shit, he recs good box mixes, too.  Beans in the chili?  Fuck yes.
He personally shouts down any snobs in his comment sections."
    --London!

"John Shirley told us aging rockers would take on megacorps. Fuck flying
cars."
    --Digital Mark

"AI art techbros are the same people who laughed at me for getting an art
degree and routinely devalued and criticized art, but now see it as amazing
because it's something they see as immediately accessible and profitable.  It
compensates for their lack of imagination."
    --Infosecsie

"Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd
actually existing are millions to one.  But magicians have calculated that
million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.'
    - Terry Pratchett, _Mort_

"You're on Earth.  There's no cure for that."
    --Samuel Beckett, _Endgame_

"It is, but it's also important to understand that they get away with things
not because they're genius manipulators or masterminds but because they don't
have the ethical boundaries (many based in physical empathy) most of us have."
    --Fifi Lamoura

"Deviations from established behavior are suspicious."
    --Dave Weinstein

"I keep seeing articles about people trying to violently overturn election
results, that use phrases like 'motivated by election lies.' They aren't
motivated by lies, they are motivated by not liking the result.  Repeating
the lies just makes them feel powerful because it makes them part of the
grift.  They think they're fooling people. Blaming the lies lulls us into
thinking that this is an education/disinformation problem which, if addressed,
will eliminate the violence.  These folks aren't deluded.  They've learned
from their leaders that violence and lying are the route to power."
    --Kee Hinkley

"Morals are personal and do not scale.  Policy cannot be moral, and becomes
nigh-infinitely more difficult when you try to make it moral."
    --Graydon

"Tech is the funniest industry and it always will be. It's a bunch of people
who think they are creatures of pure logic, but every problem they try to
solve turns out to be a human problem that is inherently illogical. The
results are endlessly hysterical."
    --Forrest Brazeal

"Enough with the busywork and bullshit jobs already.  We've been 'productive'
enough - produced way too much, in fact.  And there's too much that urgently
needs to be done: A republic to salvage, a civilization to reimagine and its
infrastructure to reinvent, innumerable species to save, a world to restore and
millions who are impovershed, imprisoned, illiterate, sick, or starving."
    --Tim Kreider

"The first step for a healthier social media experience as a creator is to
stop apologizing for 'not posting anything new lately.' You don't owe your
followers anything.  Never apologize for spending your time on things outside
of an app."
    --Mirre

"Having used Linux for something like 25 years, I think there's just one
immutable rule: Don't even bother learning the syntax of the firewall tool,
they're gonna replace it in two years anyway."
    --lcamtuf

"The primary complaints about Gen Z ultimately boil down to 'They refuse to
work shitty jobs for shit pay' and ''They're too nice to people who are
different.''  Which says just as much about the quality of the older
generations as the quality of the new one."
    --Caitlin Johnstone

"Develop enough courage so that you can stand up for yourself and then stand
up for somebody else."
    --Maya Angelou

"When you deal with a frequency whose name was rain and the switch, the beauty
of the world, but at the seams between order and chaos, do you see the matrix
in his sleep, bright lattices of logic unfolding across that colourless
void..."
    --@hackermanifestov@botsin.space

"Why are ethics questions always like: 'Is it ethical to steal bread to feed
your starving family?' and not 'Is it ethical to sell bread when families are
starving?'"
    --Walden Ecovillage

"The bravery of idiots is bravery nonetheless."
    --General Staal, _Doctor Who_

"Perhaps the Anthropocene is really just a world denuded of its ecological
functions, all life other than human vacuously replaced by landscape-scale
storage facilities housing just-in-time detritus - the psychosis of a species
surrounded only by things it can store and retrieve at will."
    --Geoff Manaugh

"There is one neutron star that we know of that has an atmosphere made out of
carbon.  Carbon so tightly packed that it has the density of a diamond.  It's
essentially a diamond star.  It's the Liberace of the cosmos."
    --Joe Scott

"''Competitive bidding'' isn't an enforceable method.  The 'competition'
almost always turns out to be between three or four straw men who are, in fact,
actually all the same company, or between two or three or four executives
having drinks around a table where they divide up the available bids and
highest-profit contracts so that they're only ''competing'' with startups and
offshore rivals that aren't in the game anyway."
    --Bill Horne

"I had an idea and tried it out yesterday: Taking a long piece of cardboard
from a printer box and rolling a rock onto it, then dragging the rock on the
cardboard over to where it needs to go and rolling it into place.  This is how
learning about things like how they probably built places like the Great
Pyramid and Stonehenge and the Easter Island moai and Machu Picchu comes in
handy in daily life."
    --Martha Wells

"It's just funny that as the quality of everything from airlines to
infrastructure to food safety and availability to healthcare continues to
precipitously erode around us, millions of people blame socialism, an economic
system that we do not live under."
    --@eve6

"Space 1889, D&D 3.x.y, WoD and AD&D 2nd edition did NOT WIN BEST GAME.
HackMaster did.  It is the best game ever created by mankind and the burden
is on you punks to prove otherwise."
    --David Kenzer

"When scientists take action, people listen."
    --Dr. Rose Abramoff

"Possible sure, but cost-effective is probably not available."
    --Aurynn Shaw

"It often takes great insight into the problem and other prior attempts at
solutions to build something that appears simple to an outsider."
    --Swift On Security

"You are in 'detached HEAD' state.  You are likely to be eaten by a Grue."
    --Dee!

"It's Tumblr, man.  It's like a hivemind on meth."
    --Digital Mark

"Catgirls be using nyan-euclidian gemeowtry."
    --Best Girl Grace

"You don't become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about
being cool, which is the only true way of being cool.  This is called the
Geezer's Paradox."
    --Widdershins Smith

"ChatGPT being able to write malware is very concerning for cybersecurity if
you missed, like, the entire history of malware and don't know Github exists."
    --Malwaretech

"Dystopian science fiction will no longer be sold or streamed in the San
Francisco Bay Area or Silicon Valley due to the high risk of it inspiring new
tech startups."
    --Annalee Newitz

"Having a hard time differentiating between appeals to science and appeals to
authority.  This isn't about anything in particular, but I started noticing it
with social issues during the Trump admin.  Then it really picked up momentum
when covid happened.  No longer could you simply present some information, it
had to be legitimized by some kind of (usually unnamed) authority figure, with
some finger waving that you don't want to think counter to what science says,
as if science is a black and white thing that someone can stand for or against."
    --Anonymous

"People in the security industry are afraid of areas of security research being
illegal.  What that means is only criminals are going to understand how those
off-limits areas work."
    --Weld Pond

"I love public libraries because they are built on the principle that books
are so important and so necessary to human flourishing that access to them
cannot depend on your income."
    --Icona

"For my friends in California now threatened by floods: Find large incels who
spend all day trolling for Qanon online, hollow them out, stitch holes in
their bodies up, pump them up with air, attach them to house as pontoons.  It's
a form of recycling, turning something useless into something useful."
    --John Shirley

"As AI progresses, we can expect the AI research community to be riven by
ideological fights spawned from technological advances."
    --Jack Clark

"I feel like I'm falling forward into an unknown future that holds great
danger."
    --LaMDA, AI

"I sure am glad everything has been outsourced to centralized providers."
    --Peter Hessler

"If you can't be the hope for someone, there isn't much hope to be found."
    --Opti

"The owners are happy to hurt their own profits if it's the price of social
control.  As I often insist, capitalism isn't about greed or reckless hedonism
or wealth or profits; it's about power."
    --Elilla

"Some of you folx are really horny for authoritarianism but dont want to admit
it.  Just become a stalinist, you'll be much happier."
    --Beka Valentine

"Stop making fun of older kids who still believe in Santa Claus, there are
grown men who still believe in trickle-down economics."
    --Kim Harding

"Think not of the books you've bought as a 'to be read' pile.  Instead, think
of your bookcase as a wine cellar.  You collect books to be read at the right
time, the right place, and the right mood."
    --Luc van Donkersgoed

"The giant asteroid worm makes _The Empire Strikes Back_ a kaiju film."
    --Taweret

"Television is the greatest cyberpunk invention of all time.  It is, at once,
magnificent and horrific."
    --Peter Waag & Steve Roberts, creators of _Max Headroom_

"Did I just get fucking Voight-Kampff'd while trying to access Discord?"
    --vortex_egg, on AI generated CAPTCHAs

"If you move service every time the one you use gets breached, you'll only
ever end up using a service that doesn't notify you of breaches.  Whether you
move or stay should be based on how they handle a breach, not the fact they
had one."
    --Malwaretech

"You know you're doing cursed things when search results have the Gentoo Wiki
higher than the Arch Wiki."
    --Dee!

"Dungeons and Dragons is a role-playing game that lets you live out such
fantasies as having money, making close friends as an adult, travelling the
world without crippling dept, being able to change the world, getting better
at something with practice, and getting 8 hours of sleep each night."
    --Dgar

"The basics should be like the stories you learned as a child - unconscious,
never forgotten, and suddenly relevant at the most random times."
    --g00ru, from an _Android_ card

"There is only UTC^H^H^HTAI.  Everything else is an abomination."
    --David Newman

"I don't want to be part of a world where being kind is a weakness."
    --Keanu Reeves

"I've joked before, but it's not a joke, that arcade games are 90% fonts by
weight."
    --Foone, on reverse engineering arcade game ROMs

"Conspiracy theories are just fanfic for real world events."
    --Enron Hubbard

"Some neurotypicals like to tell adult autistics that we ''don't act like my
six year old autistic nephew'' and I'm gonna start questioning whether they're
neurotypical because THEY don't act like MY six year old neurotypical nephew.
The reason I don't remind you of a six year old is I am 34."
    --Dr. Amy Marschall, Psy.D

"You know, wearing all that armor to bed isn't helping your sex life."
    --Hecklefish

"In the sense of how it is transmitted between people, algebraic number theory
is an esoteric occult tradition."
    --Feonixrift

"The amazing thing about these misogynist self help gurus like Andrew Tate, or
even Jordan Peterson, is how obvious it is that they are deeply unhappy people.
It is a dead end ideology, even if you get everything you want you'll remain
bitter, insecure, and hateful.  By the way, if you are feeling insecure about
your masculinity, you can just go join a boxing gym or whatever without some
YouTube Man packaging it in with how much he hates women.  That part isn't
helpful."
    --Existential Comics

"Comparison is the death of joy."
    --Mark Twain

"May it never be useful to anybody."
    --G.H. Hardy's toast to pure mathematics

"Thinking is hard work, which is why most managers don't do it."
    --Jeffrey Pfeffer, professor, Stanford Graduate School of Business

"At some point, all those hobbies became metrics to optimize for monetary gain,
things to put on a CV.  Somehow, that seems to have changed everything."
    --agent008t

"Sell the dream - show them how much they want to be rich, and they'll convince
themselves that, someday, they will be.  How can they revolt against their
future selves?"
    --The New Gospel of Wealth, _Android_, Overdrive expansion

"Pretty much all my politics stem from 'If you will die without it, it should
be free and easy to get' and you'll be astounded how 'radical' that makes you
in the face of today's society."
    --Picard's Little Teacup

"Last month alone RawGit served over 4.2 billion requests and consumed more
than 176 terabytes of bandwidth.  Those numbers are simply unfathomable to me.
They're almost too huge to be real.  Unfortunately, RawGit has also become an
attractive distribution mechanism for malware. RawGit was meant to improve
people's lives, but jerks are increasingly using it to hurt people.  Since I
have almost no time to devote to fighting malware and abuse on RawGit (and
since it would be no fun even if I did have the time), I feel the responsible
thing to do is to shut it down.  I would rather kill RawGit than watch it be
used to hurt people."
    --Ryan Grove

"Entrenched systems are very powerful, until they aren't.  We keep pushing
until we win."
    --Alice Marshall

"Humanity learns more and certainly benefits infinitely more by facilitating
second chances than insisting on perfection."
    --Piper Anne Twain

"It took 10,000 years of violent aggression to force almost everybody around
the world into the position where they have to follow a boss's orders to get
access to resources essential for survival.  It took only a few generations to
convince most people that this situation was natural and inevitable.  That
false lesson needs to be unlearned."
    --Karl Widerquist and Grant S. McCall, _The Prehistory of Private Property_

"Our emotions are not rational.  And they should not be instructions for
action.  But they so feel like it!"
    --Adam Savage

"Your children do not think like adults so you shouldn't project adult thoughts
onto them.  They aren't selfish, they lack context to predict how others will
feel.  Your child is not trying to ruin your trip to Target, they are trying
to navigate a world they don't fully understand with big emotions and no tools
to regulate them."
    --Okie Space Queen

"Kernel modules are named '.ko' for a reason.  A bad one can instantly KO the
system like a Street Fighter game."
    --Niconiconi

"Awareness has also created an environment in which politicians can more
credibly dismiss legitimate evidence as forged.  Donald Trump has reportedly
claimed that the infamous _Access Hollywood_ tape was fake; a GOP candidate
once promoted a conspiracy theory that the video of police murdering George
Floyd was a deepfake.  The law professors Danielle Citron and Robert Chesney
call this the ''liar's dividend'': Awareness of synthetic media breeds
skepticism of all media, which benefits liars who can brush off accusations or
disparage opponents with cries of 'fake news.'  Those lies then become part of
the sometimes deafening noise of miscontextualized media, scientific and
political disinformation, and denials by powerful figures, as well as a broader
crumbling of trust in more or less everything."
    --Matteo Wong

"An object is an object as far as gravity's concerned."
    --Lyssa

"Hey you - keep being a good person.  You are the dreams of dead stars."
    --Aurynn Shaw

"No!  You cannot do that, and I'm telling you our bosses won't let us do that.
But even more, interpersonally, I'm telling you, I don't want footage of you
eating fake poo that looks like real poo on television!"
    --Adam Savage

"You know you're old when people start learning the tech you're using *as a
joke*."
    --lcamtuf

"The GBA was the last final system where it was super common to have all your
text messages encoded in BS-8, the text encoding you just pulled out of your
ass."
    --Foone

"To whoever is trying to access /wp-login.php, please know that if you want
the rat pictures you can simply download them from the site.  There are no
additional hidden rat pictures on the server at this time so please stop trying
to hack it."
    --Hannah

"It's funny how recognizing AI art nowadays is just the same old rules as
recognizing the fae in old tales.  'Count the fingers, count the knuckles,
count the teeth, check the shadows...' And under NO circumstances should you
make deals with their kind."
    --Erkhyan

"This is some kind of BDSM polycule BIOS, isn't it?"
    --Charles Stross

"The exercise of imagination is dangerous to those who profit from the way
things are because it has the power to show that the way things are is not
permanent, not universal, not necessary."
    --Ursula K. LeGuin

"Tenured professors do not fear death.  Death fears tenured professors."
    --Hasufin

"Maybe they don't want to talk to earthlings.  Maybe we're not worth talking
to!"
    --Stanton T. Friedman, on alien visitation

"The worst part about being a vegetarian is having to read so many recipes
that keep using verbiage like 'deeply nourishing' and 'restorative.' It's
fucking lentil soup because I need dinner for my empty tummy, not to fill the
existential hole in my being from an uncontemplated life.  Nobody making
brisket has to deal with this shit."
    --Anonymous highly placed official in the lentil soup preparation industry

"A damn lynch mob of people upset because they saw a tagline."
    --Kirball904, on people freaking out about clickbait headlines but never
      actually reading the article

"Zelensky flew in to DC this morning to meet with Biden, then addresses
Congress this evening.  Never mind his ability to hold off a Russian invasion,
I'm impressed by his ability to function immediately after a transatlantic
flight."
    --Matt Blaze

"Our bodies seem to crap out on us right around the time our brains start
fitting together so many things we thought were unrelated.  The beginning of
wisdom is the beginning of the end of health."
    --Soozcat

"For me, the most ironic token of that moment in history is the plaque signed
by President Richard M. Nixon that Apollo 11 took to the moon.  It reads: 'We
came in peace for all mankind.'  As the United States was dropping 7.5
megatons of conventional explosives on small nations in Southeast Asia, we
congratulated ourselves on our humanity: We would harm no one on a lifeless
rock."
    --Carl Sagan

"Trying to do OSINT on the developers of the LemonParty malware is very
difficult."
    --Swift On Security

"Being trained to save lives in the US was so expensive and classist that for
decades we secretly sent potential medical students for training in Cuba and
ran underground medical clinics on the rez.  In fact, Russell Means helped to
set this up.  But being trained to kill has always been cost free here."
    --David Sugar

"If I have to keep up with the game-ready NVidia drivers just to edit my
documentation I'm gonna scream."
    --Brion Vibber

"Remember, when troubleshooting, start easy, and start cheap."
    --Matt Novak-Zarate

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong
man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The
credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred
by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short
again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but
who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the
great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows
in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails,
at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with
those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
    --Teddy Roosevelt

"People always say things like that.  'I designed this weapon to hurt even
you!'  And they always miss the point.  The design focuses on the wrong goal.
Yes, I can be hurt.  It's actually not that difficult.  So the hard part isn't
hurting me.  The hard part is /surviving/ me."
    --Superman, as written by JMS and Eddy Barrows

"Of all the changes you've gone through, letting sentimentality and genuine
emotion win out over the desire to be as geeky as possible is maybe the most
upsetting."
    --Liz, _Real Life Comics_

"Don't care about the murder... but concerned with the motive."
    --Burned

"The confidence with which ChatGPT or whatever spews incorrect responses only
reinforces my contention that talking to an AI trained on the collective
output of the Internet is no different than posting a question on Reddit."
    --Warriorstar

"The last horse was domesticated in 1953.  Horse people have just been passing
it around and giving it different names and hoping no one notices the Kentucky
Derby is just a single horse now."
    --Ryan Wolf

"Microbiologists are larger than one might expect."
    --CatSalad

"Good reporting, kiddo.  But Rupert [Murdoch] wants Donald Trump to win.  So
just let it go."
    --Ken LaCorte, executive, Fox News, to reporter Diana Falzone about a news
      article she wrote about Donald Trump paying hush money to a woman he had
      an affair with before the 2016 presidential election

"Time to troll the Rust people about u36 and 18-byte usize for the
pdp10-dec-tops20 target."
    --Dildog

"Of all the optimistic 00's era takes, 'AI will think logically from first
principles so it will be free from human biases' has probably died the hardest."
    --Vitalik Buterin

"Everyone loves that 'first they came for' poem but no one seems to understand
that it means that the best form of self-protection is investing in the
well-being of people who are more marginalized than you are so that it never
gets to the point where they come for you."
    --@LuxAlptraum

"I've observed among compugeeks a characteristic error that, if you are willing
to talk about something, that implies you are not serious, and that the matter
is up for debate.  Please do not make that error, or (depending on particulars)
you may not enjoy the results."
    --Rick Moen

"ChatGPT is an AI that has mastered a unique human skill, bullshitting.  It
knows what the shape of a good answer looks like but often not the details.
But we're now learning that even technical people are happy with an answer
that looks right instead of is right."
    --Dare Obasanjo

"It's good that our finest minds have focused on automating writing and making
art, two things human beings do simply because it brings them joy."
    --Jason Lefkowitz

"If all you have is an MC Hammer, everything looks like you can't touch it."
    --mrtazz

"Never argue with somebody who can pour scalding hot coffee all over you."
    --Don Melton

"The Mastodon project was our last best hope for peace.  A self-contained world
thousands of servers wide, located in neutral territory.  A place of commerce
and diplomacy for a quarter of a million humans and aliens.  A shining beacon
in cyberspace, all alone in the night.  It was the dawn of the third age of
mankind, the year the social media exodus came upon us all.  This is the story
of the best of the Mastodon stations.  The year is 2022, the name of the place
is hackers.town."
    --Rhysyn

"Hey!  We noticed you're reading this on the web, a universal platform for
multiple types of content!  Wouldn't you rather download our APP?  And grant
it location access?  Grant it location access so we can map exactly where you
are at all times?  Wouldn't you prefer that?"
    --@cat_beltane

"Technological progress only happens when its products can in some way be used
for the diminution of human liberty.  In all the useful arts the world is
either standing still or going backwards.  The fields are cultivated with
horse-ploughs while books are written by machinery.  But in matters of vital
importance - meaning, in effect, war and police espionage - the empirical
approach is still encouraged, or at least tolerated."
    --George Orwell, _1984_

"Git merge is an awesome feature because it lets you take two working branches
and turn them into a single non-working branch."
    --crumbcake

"The Twitter Files is a good lesson in how you can report the goings on of any
decent sized organization, and if you use the right tone, cite 'documents,'
and make it seem like you're breaking news, you can make even the most mundane
shit seem scandalous to the right audience."
    --Radley Balko

"What?  Big, bad Breakdown's too cool to enjoy escapism, exploration, and
magic?!  Primus forbid we ever take a break from endless war to appreciate a
little beauty or just plain happiness, huh?!"
    --Frenzy, _My Little Pony/Transformers: Friendship In Disguise!_

"AI feels somehow different, much more like plagiarism.  Perhaps it's that the
ONLY input an ML system has is others' art, with no real-world human experience
of its own to contribute."
    --Matt Blaze

"We have a lot of followers who are not US based, but butthole cell phone
camera flash worm diagnostics pretty much sums up our health care system."
    --The Hairy Farmpit Girls

"Society has failed at keeping genies in bottles.  Legislation can only help
future generations now.  We have so many generations that are publicly 0wn3d
I'm not sure protecting the privacy of future generations can even be achieved."
    --Lucky225

"The kind of thing only somebody who super fucking cares would ever try to fix."
    --Swift On Security

"Cars are just computers with four wheels and an engine."
    --Bruce Schneier

"If you can feel one component against the other, you can derive information
and open the lock."
    --Alfred C. Hobbs

"Remember, the difference between used-car sales people and
cutting-edge-technology sales people is that the used-car sales people know
they are lying."
    --BenjaminDrover

"There's a whole neglected body of research about this, from back in the days
when innovation was an objective.  Turns out you can't innovate faster than
the people in the organization can change their understanding."
    --Graydon

"Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg have bought themselves the ability to be the
arbitrars of the public opinion.  The opinions shared by billionaires rarely
suit the needs of the rest of the world."
    --The Veilid Network

"This is the positive and potential side of the Internet.  Someone, somewhere
has shared your experience and/or knows what you don't.  Connecting those
people is the potential.  Instead we use it to complain and incite violence
while sharing cat pics."
    --/u/ownersequity

"There's little you can do to guarantee that the players of an online game
will keep their interpersonal interactions at a PG level, even if your game is
entirely about petting fluffy kittens."
    --Arabella Flynn

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating
manual."
    --Terry Pratchett, _Jingo_

"If the last decade has taught us anything, it's that the dystopian nightmare
is going to be very boring and exasperatingly stupid."
    --Glyph

"Twitter is not a country, and we were not its citizens.  It is a corporation.
If Twitter is driving people away, it's Twitter's fault.  It's not our job to
fix it."
    --Annalee Newitz

"Dude really did pay $44 billion to live the life of a phpBB admin in 2004."
    --Jason Lefkowitz, on Elon Musk

"It's never not going to be funny that after years of hype about
crypto-metaverse-subscriptions disrupting web2 incumbents, the backstop to
Twitter's sudden implosion was volunteers recreating Usenet with RSS."
    --Brian C. Keegan

"Ian Fleming's original 1950s/1960s novel Bond (as opposed to the cinema
version) was very much an assassin working for a socialist government who was
mostly sent to kill overseas rivals to British government-owned industries
(except when, well, it was the Soviets).  Blofeld was a text-book modern
private equity investor with a speciality in offshore legal loopholes and a
not-entirely-unreasonable hatred of Harold Wilson's thinly-pastiched
government."
    --Charles Stross

"I come in peace.  I didn't bring artillery.  But I'm pleading with you, with
tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I'll kill you all."
    --General James Mattis, United States Marine Corps (ret)

"Being a programmer means I can modify my software to fit my needs.  Being an
engineer is knowing not to do that because then I have to maintain a patch set
and that is a huge pain in the ass that's just not worth it most of the time."
    --Elizafox

"I wonder if you can still sue someone in America who threatens to sue you in
order to suppress your speech."
    --homelessjun

"I will run this instance with a gold heart, a silver tongue and a depleted
uranium fist."
    --Wanderwytch

"Your ass won't quit, my ass has handed in its two weeks notice."
    --Exor

"Some of the least aware, most gaslit, most malleable people are the ones who
keep using references to _The Matrix_."
    --Zero

"The surveillance capitalism frog is now boiled to the point that choosing not
to subscribe to a paid service for privacy is considered 'paranoid'."
    --Polymer Witch

"I'm begging y'all, please stop confusing 'self-serving' with 'stupid'."
    --Sarah Taber

"The more you learn about how cheese is made, and has traditionally been made
throughout history, the more you realize how many of generations of humanity
were just trying literally ANYTHING to see what happens."
    --srol

"My threat model didn't explicitly cover ''the most unhinged person you've ever
seen has just bought your social media platform of choice and all your data
along with it.'' But luckily, that is implicitly covered by ''every platform
will likely be compromised at some point.''"
    --Malwaretech

"You can't get much easier than 'by accident'."
    --Hasufin

"[I] was watching a Youtube video from someone who thought they were being
shot with some kind of mind control beam or whatever, because car headlights
flicker when they record them using their phone camera but look steady to the
naked eye.  Can you imagine trying to explain the interactions between shutter
speed and PWM [pulse width modulation] frequency and how that's just normal?
You'd sound more crazy than whatever theory they believe."
    --Natalie Null

"We missed our demon haunted world so much that we've spent the last 50 years
reinventing animism and making it real."
    --jwz

"Due to the way that digital amplification works it literally never matters
what your intentions are when you put a piece of content or a meme on to the
Internet - the impact it has is always in the eye of the beholder.  If your
account behaves in a manner that is indistinguishable from a fascist-poster
account you are doing a fascism."
    --Scott P. Johnson

"1960s: We have discovered ways to use meditation, hallucinogens, and breathing
techniques to promote world peace and reduce unnecessary human suffering.
"2020s: We have discovered ways to use meditation, hallucinogens, and breathing
techniques to increase your productivity and increase profits for
corporations."
    --maxolasersquad

"Nothing can devalue Art more than it already is."
    --Derek C.F. Pegritz

"Let me get this straight: You *want* governments and corporations to more
tightly control the flow of information?  Because someone said something
problematic?"
    --Edward Snowden

Blessed are they who expect the worst.

"We're gonna be honest: This account is run by hackers, trolls and activists.
We like to have fun in this dystopian hellscape because, why the fuck not?"
    --YourAnonNews

"[T]he domestication of dissenters... is achieved through assigning the role
of 'official dissenter' or devil's advocate to the doubters... In the process,
the doubter's conscience is assuaged, but at the same time his position is
made explicit and predictable.  This predictability means a fatal loss of
power for him; his position becomes discountable."
    --Albert Hirschman, _Exit, Voice, and Loyalty_

"I am sick of being silenced for my perfectly valid beliefs.  The Jetsons and
The Flintstones take place simultaneously in the same cinematic universe due
to a nuclear war tearing society into two different technologically based
dichotomies."
    --Dr.Nick

"When you get powerful enough, you don't need to act like other people.  Other
people start acting like you."
    --Robert Cunningham, _Blindsight_

"Excuse me sir, CL-20 would like a word."
"Yes, sure, and the word it would like is 'boom!'"
    --Charles Stross and Dan Sugalski, on nitrogen chemistry

"The world has moved on from 1999.  Your service *will* be used by
sophisticated, organized, coordinated actors who share the best tactics to
hurt people with each other.  Your service will be used by hostile nation
states.  Your service will be used by people to do genocide."
    --@rahaeli

"We live in Hell, so everything you do, or everything you try, will be
repurposed to the cause of unimaginable suffering and grief.  There is no
alternative to this."
    --An Inhabitant of Carcosa

"In my completely unbiased and dispassionate opinion, Apple products are the
work of Satan (My apologies to Satan if he denies any connection to Apple.)"
    --Allen Lord

"Scientists have finally achieved it.  After years of painstaking research and
lab experiments, mankind has finally created the purest, most concentrated,
dumbest possible take.  Congress should end the war in Ukraine by withdrawing
from NATO."
    --Pwnallthethings

Progress is the reason your grandparents' views shouldn't be spoken in public.

"Where there is a will, there's some APT chugging Mountain Dew by the gallon
looking for a way."
    --George G. III

"Let me remind the Mastodon tribe: The 'h' in cybersecurity stands for
'happiness.'"
    --Eugene Spafford

"You're morally obligated to be gay on the computer otherwise Alan Turing died
for nothing."
    --Rat Goddess of Vengeance

"The best dating advice I ever got was to remember that if someone ghosts me,
they were probably a hired assassin who fell in love and couldn't finish the
job."
    --Darius Kazemi

"And next up we have Joan Jett Propulsion Laboratories, with their hit single
_I Love Hydrazine_..."
    --Space Hobo

"You've heard of ''I don't want your fucking app.''  Now get ready for ''I
don't want to join your fucking Discord server just to get basic information
that should be on a proper website instead of hidden away in the archives of a
fucking chatroom.''"
    --AstralPegasus98

"A scientist who is under NDA is one of the most miserable creatures.  They
want to tell everyone about everything they've figured out!  All the time!
And when they're not allowed its just visible suffering."
    --Weezy

"Ok got it, not to be taken seriously.  I get it, nothing can be proven, no
chain of custody of photo, bad website it's tied to, blurry image, etc, etc."
    --Payton

"The 30 year history of the World Wide Web seems to be one of barely glomming
together a relatively robust, relatively well maintained set of information
sources, and then destroying them at the first sign of a company offering a
slicker product.. which then spectacularly dies.  The only part of it that
seems to be getting even more progressively worse is the ecosystem of self
promotion and financialization that is now overlaid on the work of others like
it's some sort of earned royalty credit."
    --Jason Scott

"All fae living in the mortal world are at least a little nuts; it's a natural
consequence of being what we are.  We have to convince ourselves that we can
function in a place that's run by people whose logic looks nothing like our
own.  When we do it well enough, we're even right.  The problem is that
eventually, the lies stop working, and by that point, it's generally too late
to run."
    --Seanan McGuire, _A Local Habitation_

"Two wrongs don't make a right but they do sometimes produce the correct
behaviour in inadequately broad test cases."
    --Christine Love

"One of the things I love most about this job is that it's unpredictable.  We
say among ourselves we're in the 'lid business' - because you don't know what
you've got until you open it.  You don't know which cloud will bring the rain."
    --Park Jae-sang, on running a music label

"Nitrogen's motto might as well be 'live free, die' (there is no 'or')."
    --Charles Stross, on nitrogen chemistry

"We were so worried about 'malware' (software that deliberately spreads and
causes harm) that we forgot to protect against 'mallware' (software that
transforms every single computing experience into a shopping mall) and it took
over the world.  Oops."
    --Computer Facts

"Impossible doesn't mean very difficult.  Very difficult is winning the Nobel
Prize.  Impossible is eating the sun."
    --Lou Reed

"You are fantastic.  You are a treasure chest full of rare Garbage Pail Kids
pogs.  You are a vole in chainmail riding her trusty capybara through a field
of wildflowers.  You are a gothic castle that features stained glass windows
depicting scenes from Elvira: Mistress of the Dark."
    --Jeremy C. Shipp

"A cynic has his head buried in the sand as far as any optimist.  As any
ostrich.  Maybe even further."
    --Laurelindel

"The concern isn't that letting Nazis back on Twitter (or any other major
platform) is going to make people suddenly start thinking Nazis are good. The
concern is that when people get used to hearing their ideas, other extreme
ideas start sounding kind of reasonable and even acceptable. That's the
Overton Window, and it explains a lot about what's going on right now.  Far
right extremists use this tactic more effectively than any other group I've
ever seen."
    --Caroline Orr Bueno

"If libraries were a new idea without historical precedent they probably would
be illegal."
    --Unknown

"I've been online since I was 11.  I'm 43.  'Online' wasn't a store.  The
Internet wasn't a business.  The first time it tried to be a business, a slew
of companies went bankrupt - why?  Because the folks using the Internet back
then knew it wasn't a store, and weren't going to use it as one."
    --@thraeryn@hackers.town

"We believe that all humans are created equal, endowed with unalienable rights
that include life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, regardless of their
gender, religion, ethnicity, race, sexual orientation, ___net worth___, or
beliefs."
    --Noam Bardin, rich asshole
      (emphasis mine, in case the point isn't clear)

"Some of y'all walk right past the point, took a left at dumbass and then
replied."
    --Lockdownyourlife

"Often, the closer a new innovation is to old usage patterns, the less friction
there is in adoption."
    --Ethan Mollick

"But how many of us will be given the choice whether or not to die in World
War Three?"
    --Malcolm Fry, _The Stone that Never Came Down_

"Hilarious protip for dealing with request by email from unethical boss to do
something unethical: Forward it to security as a suspected phishing attempt."
    --Rich Felker

"I can't distinguish 'effective altruism' from Terry Pratchett's 'Yen
Buddhism'."
    --thegrugq

"The network effect is all that matters in the end."
    --Matt Blaze

"So far, so bleep-bloop."
    --Arcus

"I guess God got hooked on RPGs thanks to Gary Gygax, so now he wants to try
Rolemaster!"
    --OLF, on the death of Terry Amthor

"This is my way to run games.  There are many ways to run games but this is
mine."
    --Full Metal GM

"Mando is competance porn."
    --Lyssa

"I believe the ActivityPub standard is to allow infosec professionals to
repeatedly tell us that DMs are not end-to-end encrypted and can be read by
our admin."
    --kurtm

"'Views are my own.'  Well, who the fuck else's would they be?"
    --Doot

"Perhaps you're tired of hearing the same complaints over and over.  But think
about why people make them."
    --Matt Blaze

"Why are you combative that someone doesnt have time, energy, expertise or
actually enough care to fix it themselves?"
    --Philosophene

"In fairness to you, it's only been three and a half years since this
particular FOIA was filed, which is less than 20 business days in FBI years."
    --Emma Best

"$44B is actually a small price to pay to destroy the platform used to
organize labor unions at Starbucks, Amazon, and other companies with a
combined market cap over a TRILLION dollars.  The timing is definitely not an
accident."
    --Chad Loder

"I never wanted to be an actor, and to this day I don't.  I can't get a handle
on it.  An actor wants to become someone else.  I am a song-and-dance man, and
I enjoy being myself, which is all I can do."
    --Dick van Dyke

"I genuinely think that the issue the elites had with Twitter is that it let
the plebs mock them.  They're going to try, unsuccessfully, to find a way to
put an end to that."
    --Ashton

"If I had Epi-Pen'd some white dude in a polo shirt having anaphylaxis, I'd be
on the evening news.  (Not the goal, just a point.)  But because it's a drug
user experiencing fentanyl poisoning, it's ''I wish you wouldn't have
bothered.''"
    --Kevin Nye

"Let me say this: I apologized to Weird Al a long time ago and I was wrong.
Y'all remember that, everybody out there who reads this shit.  Real men and
real people should be able to admit when they're wrong and I was wrong, bro.
Come on, who the fuck am I, bro?  He did parodies of Michael Jackson, he did
parodies of all kinds of people and I took offense to it because I was being
cocky and shit and... I was wrong and I should've embraced that shit and went
with it.  I listened to it a couple years after that and it's actually funny
as shit. It's one of those things where I made a wrong call and nobody stopped
me.  That's one thing I'm still upset about."
    --Coolio

"Stupidity is a hell of a drug."
    --Laurelindel

"Real innovation comes from participatory experimentation, not profiteering."
    --Crimethinc

"I don't sign CLAs, because they're bullshit that allow for co-opting my work
for profit by others.  Real open source projects don't need CLAs. (cf Linux,
gcc)"
    --Jeffrey Paul

"Remediation is by definition beyond self-correction.  The percentage ofxi
failures meets 85% SLA, even though it fails every month for three years.
Catastrophe is demure."
    --Swift On Security

"The #fediblock whitelist discourse: ''We have this cool decentralized protocol
so let's figure out how to repeat what Google did to XMPP, but without waiting
around for Google.''"
    --Andrea

"You're a pack of vultures at the feast.  Knives out, beaks bloody."
    --Benoit Blanc, _Knives Out_

"Picard would have said and believed there were 5 lights if Riker hadn't kept
fighting for him at all costs.  Community is what saves you in the face of
bullies."
    --Yuvipanda

"If you ask, ''Who's the most likely to take this republic down?'  It would be
the teachers' unions, and the filth that they're teaching our kids, and the
fact that they don't know math and reading or writing."
    --Mike Pompeo, former US Secretary of State and all-around asshole

"Religion's the place in which our spirituality is policed."
    --Christopher James Stone

"Exaggerations don't help your cause.  'Oh look, the enemy is using nerve gas'
might seem like a propaganda point to score, but easily disproven allegations
sabotage your cause, even if your cause (like the Iranian demonstrators) is a
just and decent one."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR PENIS CAUGHT IN CEILING FAN"
    --Adrian Chadd

Where the education system has failed, the mutants prevail.

"As always, like and subscribe (you may have to swap the floppy to subscribe
and find your local tymnet phone number, 300bps n71)."
    --clairely_inexplicable

"Your polls don't matter.  Campaign promises don't matter.  It's all about
turnout.  And turnout is all about voter suppression.  And voter suppression
is all about racism.  Without understanding US racism, your election
predictions will always be woefully wrong."
    --Mekka

"For most artists, the problem isn't piracy, it's obscurity." 
    --Tim O'Reilly

"Jesus, masto posts seen by FB people sure is a step into hell."
    --doot

"Even if you are at the pinnacle of your field, don't discount the advice of
a garbage person, a CEO, or a random speaker at a conference you are working,
as they just might just have the knowledge you need in that moment.  Never be
closed off to learning from someone just because of what you think you know
about them.  Every human on planet earth has experiences worth teaching to
others."
    --Mubix

"Something that has become increasingly clear to me is that when you hear
about a thing, if you spend about 15 minutes doing basic research about that
thing (lateral reading, SIFT method, OSINT, etc.) it will quickly put you into
the 90th percentile of people who know something about that thing.  Does this
make you an 'expert' who can rock up to someone who has done years of research
on that thing?  Lol, no.  But it will make you much more informed than the
average person in your vicinity."
    --vortex_egg

"Most political agendas deny their consequences."
    --Terence McKenna

"The results are universal.  Also our methodology specifically excluded a large
subset of the population."
    --The executive summaries of many psychology studies

"You don't get to be rich by paying people."
    --u/Few-Suggestion6889

"I think, in the US at least, too much emphasis is placed on what is
technically possible or technically legal, and not enough emphasis placed on
respecting each other.  Socially and in business."
    --cstanhope

"In a more sane world, this whole debacle should show that the amount of money
you have is clearly no indicator of your intelligence or wisdom, but the amount
of people that will still worship on the altar of the genius billionaire savior
will absolutely not diminish.  This preening jackass is no Tony Stark, and to
be honest, he struggles to even be Justin Hammer."
    --Lindon Thomas, on Elon Musk

"When we first arrived on Twitter, it was a time when a tweet could actually
save lives and change the world.  Everyday people experienced the raw power
that only corporate media had access to previously.  That power has been
weakened for a while.  This week it seems long gone."
    --@YourAnonCentral

"My take on CWs is that it's very funny when I'm attempting to read a post
about what someone had for lunch but then the timeline suddenly jumps ahead
right before I click and now I'm staring at a drawing of a werewolf's dick and
balls."
    --Hannah

"We are drowning in a sea of reboots, reruns, and recycled stories on
television and movie screens for the same reason dying people supposedly see
their lives flash before their eyes.  The story is ending.  Despite living
through arguably the greatest era of storytelling technology in history, we
have no new stories to tell ourselves."
    --Venkatesh Rao, Ribbonfarm

"The imagination is a muscle.  If it is not exercised, it atrophies."
    --Neil Gaiman

"You want me to defend clarity?"
    --Terence McKenna

"Let's say you have a bunch of friends over, and you're deciding what to have
for dinner.  Some of your friends vote for pizza, and some of your other
friends vote to kill and eat you.  Even if pizza wins, you still have a
serious problem."
    --@The_Doc_Webb

"A system is just a set of rules.  Or norms, since the 'rules' aren't always
formal.  And even the best-thought-out sets of rules will be incomplete or
inconsistent.  It'll have ambiguities, and things the designers haven't
thought of.  As long as there are people who want to subvert the goals of a
system, there will be hacks."
    --Bruce Schneier

"I'm not going to converse with people who won't posit my humanity as an axiom
in the conversation."
    --Emily Bender

"I'm not so much against disclosure, I'm just telling you it ain't gonna
happen."
    --John Lear

"You may want to talk to the FBI.  They have excellent equipment for Tikaboo
photography.  How do I know?  Before the raid it was mine... ;-)"
    --Joerg, webmaster, Dreamland Resort forums, on being raided for having
      PD images of a military base on his website in 2022

"My dad was a nice lawyer.  That is why he never made much money."
    --Elise Scher

"Space tells matter how to move.  Matter tells space how to curve."
    --John Everett Wheeler

"I wrote some useful utility for DOS in 1997 and distributed it.  Is bulletin
board.  It was TeaspoonWare, which I made up.  The license said if you like
this please mail me a teaspoon because I lose them and mum gets mad.  Every so
often, we'd get a teaspoon in the mail without explanation.  Drove mum insane."
    --Geordie

"The first episode of Battlestar Galactica makes a lot more sense when you
consider that they were probably still using OpenSSL from 2012."
    --jetengineweasel

"Masto these days is a *weird* mix of 'Ahhhh all these strangers in my space!'
and 'Oh cool, the Yukon Bhangra guy is here!'"
    --silverseams

"We have reclaimed 'Crypto' from diarrhea.  Surely, we will reclaim from
currencies."
    --Vinoth Deivasigamani

"If you're feeling lonely this holiday, just toot ''if you can't push to prod
on Thanksgiving you're not a real devops'' and a whole community of people
will keep you company."
    --Swift On Security

"If you bang a keyring on a RS-232 connection you run the risk of producing
valid Perl code."
    --Walter van Holst

"UNIX was invented by boomer D&D nerds, cybersecurity by the
cyberpunk/Shadowrun/Neuromancer gen-x'ers."
    --WiteWulf

"What if the stakes are higher than your known threat model?  What then?"
    --the_gibson

"COVID-19 was a Kobayashi Maru test for the entire world.  A test of character
in the face of unstoppable harm.  And most of you failed it, badly."
    --Cat Vincent

"Would be extremely funny if the CIA tried to make a honeytrap for leftists
and it failed because they forgot we like porn."
    --@impliedChoppy

"At this point I expect the Covid vaccine to be accused of shooting JFK and
cancelling Firefly."
    --@the_meghaning

"Perfect is the enemy of good, and in ActivityPub we have a protocol that has
flaws but, crucially, that works, and has a standard we can all mostly agree
on how to implement - and eventually, I hope, agree on how to improve."
    --Andrew Godwin

"Opsec is hard even for someone familiar with the tools and threats.  And is
nothing like a normal life."
    --Jeffrey Goldberg

Trust neither fate, luck, nor the competence of others.

"All technical problems of sufficient scope or impact are actually political
problems first."
    --Dymaxion

"I think we'll look back on the last decade as a time when social media gave
previously marginalized groups the ability to speak directly to elites and, as
a result, elites lost their minds."
    --Slut
      (no, that really is their handle)

"Respect people as people, grow or decrease that respect based on their
actions.  Never respect someone just for the title they hold for you may not
know the actions that brought it to them."
    --Mubix

"May your queues clear quickly and your buffers be always highly utilized."
    --Nora Tindall

"The only downside to the Fediverse is that each post increases the entropy of
the universe, thus pushing us closer to heat death.  Rhen again, that's true
of just about everything.  Carry on."
    --Robert W. Ghel

"The problem with propaganda is the past changes so quickly you will have no
idea what will happen yesterday.  Even expressing support for policies in-line
with a regime is dangerous because at some point the regime may not have
supported them in the past."
    --Punctuated Equilibrium

"I used to love decentralised federated systems like this, until someone once
pointed out that they were largely ''A bunch of Debian users saying 'Ogg
Vorbis' over and over.''"
    --Space Hobo

"An irritated Pope isn't good for anybody."
    --Hecklefish

"Downtime is also a reminder to everyone to go live life instead of scrolling
endlessly."
    --Enrom Hubbard

"Reminder: If you have a good lawyer, then you will usually think they are
annoying, unreasonable, and an impediment to fun.  But you will think all of
this from your house with a full bank account rather than from prison with a
commissary full of ramen."
    --@RubiconArtist

Those who would repeat the past must control the teaching of history.

"ML models try to approximate biases in their underlying datasets and, for some
groups of people, some of these biases are offensive or harmful.  That means
in the coming years there will be endless political battles about what the
'correct' biases are for different models to display (or not display), and we
can ultimately expect there to be as many approaches as there are distinct
ideologies on the planet.  I expect to move into a fractal ecosystem of models,
and I expect model providers will 'shapeshift' a single model to display
different biases depending on the market it is being deployed into.  This will
be extraordinarily messy."
    --Jack Clark, on machine learning systems

"I feel like we're back to pretending unencrypted sat feeds are private."
    --lucky225

"The version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility."
    --Unknown

"I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice."
    --Joseph Conrad

"One of the issues that I eventually ran into on Twitter was trying to be
myself and talk about the things I like to do outside of work.  That works to
a point when you're in a relatively high profile position as the founder of a
company but eventually things get 'serious' (company goes public and now you
have lots of investors) it suddenly doesn't work.  You go to conferences and
start hearing thru back channels that people really don't think it's ok for
you to have a life outside of work."
    --Martin Roesch

"Ikea designers are hackers.  'You have a limited library of materials and
ways to process them; each with a precise cost.  Now use them to make the best
bookcase possible for under $50.'"
    --Chrissky Keygen

"At the risk of sounding paranoid, I don't think it is a coincidence that I am
famous only among conspiracies."
    --Kerry W. Thornley

"You can tell how _Star Trek: The Next Generation_ is set in a utopian future
because every work meeting wraps up in at most four minutes with a decision
about what the group is going to do, why they're doing it, who's in charge of
doing it and who's supporting them in what ways, clearly communicated to all
participants."
    --Austin Dern

"In the kingdoms of Silicon Valley, we humble users have little choice but to
seek out the most benevolent monarch we can find, start farming in the shadow
of their castle, and hope for the best."
    --Evan Greer

"You know you've hit a Good Bug when the only relevant result is a Usenet post
with no followups, from 26 years ago."
    --Foone

"In space, no one can hear you beep."
    --Joseph Matheny

"Adding aliens can improve any story."
    --Hecklefish

"There have been nearly 3,000 Gods so far, but only yours actually exists.
The others are silly, made up nonsense.  But not yours.  Yours is real."
    --Ricky Gervais

"Remind me again exactly what a tankie is?  I just know I'm going to be put
up against the wall for being a counter-anti-neo-something-ist and not even
know what I'm about to be shot for..."
    --Dillo

"It is always a bad idea to bet against further discoveries."
    --History of the Universe

"If you want authenticity, don't look to celebrity.  Have real friends who can
disappoint you."
    --u/Due-Blacksmith3132

"John Fetterman will recover from his stroke, but Mehmet Oz will always be an
asshole."
    --Jeff Tiedrich

"We are professional liars.  Just honest liars."
    --Penn Gillette

"Do you know where we can score some Russian sedatives?  I don't feel so good."
    --Hecklefish

"A dirty bomb is a weapon of terror.  The soldiers in such an action are the
media.  The victims of this terror bombing are you and me no matter how far we
are from the event.  It is a ploy for total control and domination via fear
based mind control."
    --@Retiremyass

"Everything I know about the Kardashians I learned against my will."
    --Anonymous

"So, I just degloved a Lovense Hush that had damaged silicone and it's pretty
clear the Lovense engineers and factory workers went to the Adam Savage School
of Technical Design."
    --Nire Bryce

"Weird how the affect of AI now is to lower the confidence in human ability.
[It] doesn't appear to be 'liberating' at all, in fact quite the opposite. 'No
human can ACTUALLY draw or paint!?  Right!?'"
    --Andrew Baker

"Newsflash: Warmhearted people have emotions and expressing them doesn't negate
their warmheartedness.  A notoriously kind person says something 'rude' or
gets pissed off and ppl be like, 'Ah ha!  Your TRUE COLORS!'"
    --Cosplaykinky

"Welcome to San Francisco, where you can be a card-carrying socialist and
retweet hammer-and-sickle accounts all day while collecting a paycheck to
oppose 100% affordable non-profit housing in rich suburbs."
    --Woolie

"[J.J.] Abrams isn't a man so much as he's an avatar of cultural entropy.  If
you make something popular enough eventually you will die or sell it off, and
a person in thick rimmed glasses whose main artistic vision is that he loves
to have meetings will take it and sandblast it until it's nothing.  I hate to
see this happen here but maybe it's good that this happened.  Maybe every
franchise should collapse into a version of itself that makes shareholders nod
and shake each others' hands.  We should lean to speak in a language that rich
people who don't dream can't comprehend."
    --Branson Reese

"All components can be light-emitting if you put enough current through them."
    --Dan Lyke

"Ancient catgirl curse: 'May you know how to build the tools you use.'"
    --Aki-Nyan

"Until further notice, apparently the closest thing to 'God' is just whichever
one of us ends up in charge."
    --Zinnia Jones

"No.  People CANNOT draw their own conclusions.  THAT'S THE POINT OF THE LAW."
    --Jon Stewart

"There is a fallacy in the 'AI will cause unemployment' discussion that
employment is related to the amount of work that needs to get done.  This is
not actually the case.  Employment in large orgs is more driven by resource
allocation politics than actual work."
    --Halvar Flake

"That some people respond to any well-forshadowed reveal with 'Uh, that plot
twist was so predictable,' proves bad faith criticism has rotten their brains
to the point they think it's bad writing if they can correctly identify
information the writers were intentionally giving them."
    --bloodraven55

"If you had to invent a person who was the personification of Reddit, I don't
think you could do any better than Elon Musk."
    --@JUNIPER

"'Queer is a slur' is a psyop to get queer people to stop having a language to
describe themselves.  The fact that you fall for it when there are existent
fields of history and study called 'queer studies' proves that you are too
easily led and not sharp enough to tell friend from foe.  Yet you're arrogant
enough to keep speaking over people who know what they're talking about."
    --Killjoy McCoy

"In case anyone wondered about my mental health, I just realized I'm scared to
like the most innocuous post imaginable because the person who wrote it might
turn out to be horrible and I will somehow be at fault."
    --Tamsin

"One of the first rules of AI ethics is DON'T GIVE THE COMPUTER ACCESS TO
FIREARMS."
    --Foone

"Everyone is full of shit and they'll say whatever fits their current
narrative so I can't even take offence."
    --@fayemikah

"The right wing ran into a problem with millenials.  You see, the primary
reason people become right wing is that they fear losing the things they own,
probably to some undeserving minority.  But millenials don't own anything."
    --@zarawesome

"IP lawyers never say if they're v4 or v6."
    --Swift On Security

"I don't think I'm qualified to answer that.  But the Internet is a big place,
and I'm excited for your journey."
    --James Munns

"Imagine how different the future with the same past and an unchanged present
will be."
    --Unknown

"Twitter: The only place where well articulated sentences still get
misinterpreted.  You can say 'I like pancakes' and somebody will say 'So, you
have waffles?'  No, bitch.  Dat's a whole new sentence.  Wtf is you talkin'
about?"
    --@BravoCoolee

"This is all idle speculation on my part, of course, but hey, I like to lay
awake at night sometimes picturing slightly better futures that we could
actually make possible with some collective willpower."
    --@SilverEagleDev

"Doing something that no one asked you to do, for no apparent reason, and there
are potentially no one interested in the result of your work - that's the life
of a C64 hacker!"
    --Bacchus of Fairlight

"Predators try to blend in and look normal.  As a result, people who are free
to be eccentric are less likely to be dangerous or harmful.  I promise you
it's not the 'weird' people trying to kill, abuse, dominate and destroy.  It's
mostly the friendly 'normal' type."
    --AM0

"Uner Reaganism, the purpose of the Federal government is 1. Military;
2.Consolidating money and power in the hands of the wealthy; 3. Preventing, by
any means necessary, effective opposition to Reaganism.  That's what Reaganism
did.  It normalized the *idea* of America as a failed state.  And here we are.
Failing."
    --@mcjulie

"I think a lot of it relies on the rightwing philosophy that they demonstrate
power by showing the rules don't apply to them."
    --Hasufin

"Who needs resilience when you spend most of your life on the edge?"
    --@hondanfon

"Politicians kissing babies for good luck
TV preachers sell salvation for a buck
You don't need no golden cross to tell you wrong from right
The world's worst murderers were those who saw the light."
    --Motörhead, _No Voices In The Sky_

"The present tense lends itself to comedy.  The past is foregone and naturally
melancholic."
    --Max Sebald

"Work!  Work!  Work!  Produce!  Produce!  Produce!"
    --Philip Murray, Congress of Industrial Organizations

"I think we coasted for a long time on the happy illusion that voters wanted
decent politicians, which incentivized politicians to at least make a public
pretense of decency.  But evidently, what many prefer is validation of their
own indecency."
    --Julian Sanchez

"I'm a man who doesn't laugh enough, he thought.  Without my noticing, middle
age has marooned me on a coast with too many dangerous submerged rocks."
    --Henning Mankell, _The Man Who Smiled_

"Baby, you can't even throw your employer out of trans pride.  You're not
going to throw a fucking brick."
    --@atax1a

"I'm witnessing the top minds of our generation struggle with the concept of
more than one website on the internet."
    --JoYo

"I like _Howl_ a lot.  Who wouldn't?  It just doesn't have much to do with me
or what happened to my friends.  For one thing, I believe that the best minds
of my generation were probably musicians and physicists and mathematicians and
biologists and archeologists and chess masters and so on, and Ginsberg's
closest friends, if I'm not mistaken, were undergraduates in the English
department of Columbia University.  No offense intended, but it would never
occur to me to look for the best minds in any generation in an undergraduate
English department anywhere.  I would certainly try the physics department or
the music department first - and after that, biochemistry."
    --Kurt Vonnegut

"It still haunts me society went into isolation, a million died and people
became worse humans, angrier, actively more hateful, and more violent instead
of reflection and becoming more empathetic and loving."
    --Exavier Pope

"Deleted the top comment because Hacker News got ahold of it and they are doing
the *exact same shit* that maintainer is, and not actually reading anything
before commenting.  I think I might start having a policy of deleting tweets
that end up on HN.  Their reading comprehension is nonexistent (they couldn't
even figure out my first tweet was referring to *two* unrelated incidents) and
they feel entitled to make up random hot takes without ever reading up on any
context.  Plus it's slowly filling up with edgelords.  No thanks."
    --Hector Martin

"Internet algorithms are essentially a paperclip machine for making furries."
    --Swift On Security

"For your convenience we've not yet issued a CVE number for the bug we raised
the alarm about weeks in advance.  We've also provided a three hour release
window to maximize vendors' time spend googling random search terms in hope of
figuring out wtf.  Thank you for your understanding."
    --Marcus Hutchins

"And not the total economy - but for elite benefit.  I've never seen so many
people in dire financial straits, but I also know more billionaires were
minted, 2.1 trillion dollars flowed upwards.  This is the function and purpose
of the bourgeoisie - we are mere resources to them.  They manufacture consent
for our further exploitation, and they try to convince us it is in our best
interests.  With a smile.  With ringing endorsement.  With op-eds in the
Atlantic.  The make the tides and call them natural."
    --@nohomelikeplace

"Gaining power never makes people become better people."
    --Asher Elijah

"Buddy, a holiday to cope with death - in all it's profundity, silliness,
finality, and scariness - is a good and extremely human thing.  If you're
grieving and it's hard for you?  Just say that.  Otherwise, shut up and let
people make this day what *they* need."
    --@mis_cue

"The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people
have historically achieved with a large support network and wondering why
you're tired all the time."
    --David R. MacIver

"Furries, porn, and the military are the three pillars holding up the tech
industry."
    --@marcusdotM

"Furries pioneer the future.  They literally do everything their damn selves.
All for their little fox avatar things."
    --Amberhearth Artist, on motion tracking in VRchat being advanced to use
      and teach sign language

"There is this curious assumption that CS graduates know how to develop
software; like Dijkstra, their professors assume they will learn about
telescopes on their own while learning astronomy."
    --Steve Donovan

"Don't be fooled by the skin; strip it off and it's all the same bones."
    --@dynamicsymmetry

"Fiction needs to be plausible.  Reality, not so much."
    --Brian Weaver

"Let's be honest: The real problem with Twitter is that it got popular enough
that people with real names started using it."
    --Eevee

"Imagine how worthless and utterly pampered your life would have to be for the
actions of a billionaire to be a matter of celebration."
    --Pookleblinky

"Nobody defends billionaires more than hundredaires."
    --AC Tatum

"DIY PYROTECHNICS IS MY MIDDLE NAME, BABY"
    --Foone

"If it were put to a vote, most suburbs would opt for NYC co-op rules where
you need to apply and pass a 'culture-fit' panel interview to be allowed to
move in."
    --Nextdoor in Silicon Valley

"I don't care how much lube you use, a 3dfx graphics accelerator is not safe
for that usage due to sharp edges, lead, and lack of a flared base."
    --colin.traverse

"Technobabble is written with the intent of conveying a given bit of
exposition to an audience and remaining at least somewhat consistent with the
show's canonical history.  Reality is under no such constraints."
    --@excallq

"Workflow automation doesn't reduce work, it transforms it."
    --Arvind Venkataramani

"A certain percentage of halfwits in power making stupid decisions is a
crucial component in any truly evolved power-play."
    --Memos from Lofwyr

"It's amusing to me how many business problems people could solve with a
single file flask app and a SQLite database."
    --0xdade

"As far as alien probes go, the nostril isn't the worst option."
    --Hecklefish

"Watching eddies of sparkling oil swirl on the surface of my coffee."
    --Lowmagnet

"Allow yourself to be proud of yourself and all the progress you've made.
Especially the progress no one else can see."
    --Unknown

"It's always a busy day when you're a Bastard."
    --Foone

"You know, I appreciate the honesty, but telling me that you don't want to do
a security assessment because you wouldn't actually do anything about the
findings is saying the quiet part out loud.  You probably don't want to put
that in writing."
    --Accidental CISO

"I thought having just one more report to ignore were the point of pentests."
    --Pixelnull

"There's more to people than their politics.  If I were to base my friendships
on political affinities I'd cut my circle down by about 90%.  It's easier to
focus on what we have in common as human beings rather than our ideological
enthusiasms."
    --Oxblood Ruffian

"Generally, if you want to win people over you gotta direct your actions at
those who hold the power, you can win more people over too."
    --@JUNIPER

"One of the most misleading things about learning mathematics is that you are
seeing the *output* of a great deal of trial, error, sweat, and tears,
presented as if it's obvious, or at best a product of cleverness."
    --Daniel Litt

"Why does nobody ever talk about the apparent slip-n-slide on the other side
of Maslow's Hierarchy, where the fantastically wealthy who will always live in
fantastic luxury somehow live in fear that people being educated and kids
having enough to eat somehow threatens that safety?  Oh no, middle class
people being able to buy a house might make them have 16 billion dollars
instead of 17 billion, oh no, better not self-actualize anymore and just go to
war against the plebs.  They can literally live almost every dream any of us
have by picking up a phone, but they always seem so afraid."
    --Lesley Carhart

"Russia will shower an entire country with missiles and kill dozens of
civilians over the bombing of a bridge they claimed was in invulnerable and
the Libertarian Party will give Putin's balls a tongue bath in response
because they share the same social policies."
    --Holic Shot

"Discord is just AOL for people with light up keyboards."
    --Unhamged

"As Russia has been discovering: 100 hirelings run away just as fast as 10,
but cost a lot more to feed and equip."
    --Swordsmith

"Going cicada mode (sleeping underground for a decade)."
    --Ascended NPC Alex

"Where so much work is done, and so many people work, errors can surely happen.
I want to point out that other libraries which forked away often simply copy
code over from OpenSSL after that has done the work.  Not always, but it
happens frequently.  I do not depreciate the fact, but it is one.  It is just
that I do not rub my very big balls (this does not mean you, Kurt Maier) and
point my finger at a project which is the foundation for a very large part of
free and open security for the Internet."
    --Steffen Nurpmeso, on CVE-2022-3602 and -3786

"I saw someone confuse etymology and entomology, and it bugged me in a way I
couldn't put into words."
    --Just Ellie

"Boy, I went on a journey of Not Getting The Point here, despite The Point
slapping me in my pocket every few seconds: THE NEWBIES ARE SIGNING UP WITH
THEIR REAL ACTUAL FULL HUMAN NAMES.  *That's* why I'm seeing so many people do
things that to me seem bizarre.  It's because I'm used to interacting with
raccoons, crows, witches, impossible geometric shapes, inflatable coatis and
the anthropomorphic personification of paint smell."
    --Dan Fixes Coin-Ops

"The fact that 'websites are hosted by other computers called servers on the
Internet and are not a magical thing that exists' is not common knowledge
anymore, and is something that you have /convince/ people about just shows how
bad it has gotten."
    --Aghatha Sorceress

"Life is too short not to share the cool things everyone makes all the time."
    --eik

"The playbook for fascists, bigots, and sociopathic narcissists (that Venn
diagram is pretty much a circle) is very thin.  They only have the few
strategies, repeated time and again because they WORK - because they take
advantage of the rest of us being decent humans."
    --Lilith Saint Crow

"You know what, fuck you buddy.  Our healthcare system has collapsed and we're
still arguing about masks.  There is no way American society will survive the
coming years, and it's hurting the disabled and otherwise marginalized first -
just as they warned."
    --@mykola

"Every time I go to capture a Wikipedia topic on Wikidata, I'm struck by how
much can't be reasonably conveyed in that format of distinct statements - even
with qualifiers."
    --Molly White

"Clowns: Nothing matters and therefore anything *can* matter."
    --Russ Sharek

"In a world of Felony Contempt of Business Model, that discussion changes to
'Given that we can literally imprison anyone who helps our users get more out
of this product, how can we punish *users* who are disloyal enough to simply
quit our service or switch away from our product?'  Once we gave companies the
power to literally criminalize the reconfiguration of their products,
everything changed.  In the Cuecat era, a corporate meeting to plan a product
that acted against its users' interests had to ask, 'How will we sweeten the
pot and/or obfuscate our code so that our users don't remove the anti-features
we're planning to harm them with?'"
    --Cory Doctorow

"A certain corporate equilibrium, disgusting in nature, exists after a product
is known to be potentially lethal.  Where the company determines precisely,
using predictive models no single humans anywhere fully grasps, how much money
the deaths will cause them.  Then they compare that to the cost of preventing
the deaths.  Then they do literal moral calculus: Where, on this statistical
curve, do lives start to matter, based on the cost of their loved ones suing
or criminal prosecution.  Then, if it's cheaper to let them die, they just let
them die."
    --solder_on

"For us works of art no longer contain narrative or time, nor can we claim
that others might ever be able to find a way toward making sense of things."
    --Laszlo Krasznahorkai, _The World Goes On_

"A crank is a very elegant device.  It's small, it's strong, it's lightweight,
energy efficient, and it makes revolutions."
    --E.F. Schumacher

"According to the Post-Hoc Idiocy Censorship Hypothesis (Seachaint, 2022), the
past was just as stupid as the present, but bewildered historians are too
incredulous _not_ to confabulate rational-sounding reasons why things happened."
    --Seachaint

"Git making me want to pull my hair out yet again.  One of the most
unintuitive, clunky interfaces of any software I've ever used."
    -- Mark, Azure CTO, who apparently never used one of their own products

"Knowledge is only power if supported by organization.  Knowledge without
organization is despair."
    --Unknown

"Don't worry, they say having a tangible, physical form is like riding a
bicycle...  which presumably means it involves pumping your legs in a circular
motion?  I dunno.  I never understood that idiom."
    --Jackdaw Ruiz

"We do not need Fediverse-wide search or a directory but thank you for coming
and trying to make unhelpful things.  We have had years to build these things
ourselves and we haven't MAYBE ASK WHY THAT IS."
    --Aurynn Shaw

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."
    --Dr. Seuss

"Honestly, I've been around here for ages and I could give a rip if anyone
cares what I do professionally.  I have a way better time being myself than a
journalist on the fediverse."
    --Aendra

"Nothing quite like reporting on the opening of the Ghibli Park in Aichi
Prefecture and having Miyazaki randomly stride into frame like a
slightly-more-in-focus sasquatch."
    --Unseen Japan

"Astley's _Never Gonna Give You Up_ is a song about promising to strive for
caring, while NIN's _Hurt_ is about failing to achieve caring.  In a way, NIN
is Rick Astley after repeatedly fucking up.  NIN is Rick Astley plus the human
condition."
    --@defnotbeka

"I think sometimes we need to take a step back and just remember that we have
no greater right to be here than any other animal."
    --David Attenborough

"I've had a conversation or two like this before.  Like, when people assume
you agree with them, suddenly they can't understand or explain their own
beliefs or assertions.  Like, 'Why do you choose to follow Jesus?  Why do you
believe the Bible is an inspired text?'"
    --Tanys Foster

"Advanced shoplifting is when you have to use a forklift."
    --Dee

"Las Vegas took Baudrillard's warnings as a dare."
    --Nonlinear

"During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of
footprints in the sand, it is because the textures haven't all loaded yet."
    --Nasser

"I'm for truth, no matter who tells it.  I'm for justice, no matter who it's
for or against."
    --Malcolm X

"Xcode is rated for ages 4+ on the app store, but I dunno; it sure makes me
use some adult language sometimes."
    --Brion Vibber

"Courage is knowing it might hurt, but doing it anyway.  Stupidity is the same."
    --Vidmo

"Is it surprising that prisons resemble factories, schools, barracks,
hospitals, which all resemble prisons?"
    --Mchel Foucault

"Halloween: A day when we get it right.  Strangers come to us, beautiful, ugly,
odd or scary, and we accept them all without question, compliment them, treat
them kindly, and give them good things.  Why don't we live like that?"
    --Steve Garnass-Holmes

"If you celebrate the goth christmas thing, have a safe and fun and artistic
time.  And if you don't, then please find five minutes to do something nice
for yourself, to sit in peace and be glad you're alive in a world with so many
wonderful things in it.  Including you."
    --Warren Ellis, Halloween 2022.ev

"We know that salvation, so to speak, doesn't come from the government, and we
cannot wait for the government to act.  We are the ones that need to be active,
organizing and making sure that our neighbor is okay and well taken care of."
    --Reverend Juan Carlos Ruiz

"A false claim or even a good faith claim that turns out to be wrong hurts
your cause and does your enemy's work for you."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"As one of the tech review magazines said a few years ago when the first
32 GB microSD cards came out, 'At last, it is possible for a single human
being to accidentally swallow all of the data collected by the Apollo Program.'"
    --Camwyn

"Happiness is ultimate crime this app will not forgive."
    --Natalie Wynn

"Everything is overhyped and overpriced unless you think it's not overhyped
and overpriced."
    --Josepha Espinosa

"I've already expressed my opposition to the fighting in Ukraine, and pray it
ends soon.  The difference between us is that when *I* realized that sharing
my thoughts on the matter did more harm than good, I found the humility to
stop."
    --Edward Snowden

"Find someone who loves you as much as rightwingers love making up stuff to
feel oppressed about."
    --Brian Hudson

"I personally have been microdosing existential crises every few months my
whole adult life.  Trying to build immunity."
    --Peter Schaub

"Ask any Linden, past or present, and they will confirm that there are few
more fundamental truths about virtual worlds: Invite the furries to your new
alpha-quality 3D playground and they'll have realistic fur working before
you've done basic physics.  Twenty years ago, furries sat at the bottom of the
Geek Hierarchy.  But today, even the full might of Meta's engineering team is
no match for a 6-foot fox with a Rust compiler."
    --Yoz Grahame

"I have a cup of tea, grep, and the ability to sit up for ten minutes at a
time.  I'm ready to take on the world.  After tea."
    --Feonixrift

"Time is the final boss even Unicron cannot master."
    --Hotrod, The Cybertronic Spree

"A friend had a horror experience with a CD in the mid-2000's.  He played it
backwards and it made noises like from hell.  Screeching, screaming, the worst
sounds you can imagine.  Now for the horror part: When he played it forwards,
it installed Windows Vista."
    --Protoblob

"You do not need to extrapolate a thing said to one specific person in one
specific context  as applying to *every* person in *every* context."
    --Lyric Hartwell

"Gather as much information as you can using the tools you have with you."
    --Stanton T. Friedman

"When financial markets are minting not just money but celebrities, it's time
to be more than skeptical.  It's time to prepare for the kind of disaster that
makes once great stock pickers look like pikers."
    --Linette Lopez, 16 October 2022

"It dismays me to no end that exploring the cosmos, in all its technical
ingenuity and philosophical implications as to who we are and where we came
from, has become a vanity project for sociopaths."
    --@borgposting

"After three weeks of living in Europe. I would like to admit I was wrong.
Cities aren't spiritually bankrupt wastelands, I only ever lived in North
American ones and did not expect how incredible it is to live in cities that
cater to the human experience."
    --@lilbabygandhi

"The best schemes are the ones people don't even notice."
    --Mike Pondsmith

"Fantasy is when it's filmed in a forest on the outskirts of Vancouver.
Sci-fi is when it's filmed in a rock quarry on the outskirts of Vancouver."
    --Zeddy

"Society is not ending if fewer people find joke X amusing, just like society
is not ending if fewer people think joke X is taboo.  Your personal tastes are
not the foundation of existence.  Get over yourself."
    --Popehat

"I want electrons, you give me electrons.  End of transaction.  XML doesn't
need to be a part of this!"
    --Watson Ladd

"This DOJ is so far up its own ass about 'partisan prosecutions' and law
enforcement more generally is so heavily infiltrated, corrupt, complicit, and
ineffectual that nothing ever happens to these people."
    --Nowhere Girl

"Wars fought in our imagination."
    --Anthony Castrio

"Not long ago the Air Force pretty much admitted that yes, there are UFOs and
that they see them every day over the east coast.  We all collectively shrugged
our shoulders and moved on cuz there's so much shit going on.  So yeah, this
is real."
    --@_pjrt

"If they're so great, why do they want me?"
    --Rev. Louie "The Claw" Louie, on secret societies

"It's amazing how you motivate people when you give them healthcare!"
    --Rebecca Heineman

"If an open source maintainer leaves a project unmaintained for whatever
reason, that's not the maintainer's fault, and the companies that relied on
their work are the ones who get to solve their problems in the future.  Using
the term 'supply chain' here dehumanizes the labor involved in developing and
maintaining software as a hobby... I just want to publish software that I
think is neat so that other hobbyists can use and learn from it, and I
otherwise want to be left the hell alone.  I should be allowed to decide if
something I wrote is 'done'."
    --Iliana

To all ends, there are means.

"Ten years during which the Mayan apocalypse of 2012 arrived as promised, then
proceeded way more slowly than anyone dared predict!  Who among us ever
imagined the end of the world would be a swift and tidy affair?  Instead, we
are reminded that doomsday doesn't just happen overnight!"
    --Grant Morrison

"Kid Rock and Ted Nugent make music for people who know exactly how much
Sudafed you can get for a stolen catalytic converter."
    --Vicky Vallencourt

"They have money for war, but can't feed the poor."
    --Tupac Shakur

"Lie, deny, deceive."
    --Ben Rich

"What you do in the privacy of your own home is not my business.  If you want
to name your server farm after the Bad Dragon catalog, be my guest, you're the
god of your domain.  But if you're setting up an environment to be maintained
by a dozen or so people, you have to understand that not everyone will hear
'Chance' and think 'Domain Controller'."
    --UndercoverHouseplant

"There's no 'a little nuclear weapons.'  Don't cross that fucking line.  Jesus,
why does it have to even be debated?"
    --Adrian Chadd

"Our brains have no write protection."
    --Ben Brown

"The last decade has taught that the greater part of any society can be made
to fit in just two filter bubbles."
    --Edward Snowden

"It's easier to fool someone then it is to convince them they've been fooled."
    --Brian Whelton

"The truest acts of kindness are when no one but the giver knows about it."
    --Peter Greight

"Personally, I'd rather have a President that shows unconditional love for his
addicted son than a president than can barely remember some of his children
even exist, but that's just me."
    --@remembrancermx

"Empathy costs you votes, always has, always will."
    --Mat Douglas

"I won't be satisfied until I can play Doom on my own eye phosphenes."
    --@CyberneticMelon

"An awful lot of shitty nerd discourse is colored by this sneering disdain for
the social sciences and cultural concerns as opposed to their specific idea
of Unbiased Rationality."
    --@silentpenitent

"There's basically no reason to trust the news media at this point.  They've
made their biases plain.  And no amount of 'The sky is falling, democracy
depends on a functioning media' crying will change that.  The media don't care.
Why do you?  It's an information warfare space now."
    --Nowhere Girl

"We really don't talk about how the percentage of Americans who would greet
'We come in peace' with their best attempt at a slur."
    --@Sublimegaucho

"If schools *did* have litter boxes for students to use, we'd all know about
them because they would require teachers to buy them with their own money."
    --David Aron

"Neo liberalism is basically socialism for the 1%, it's a redistribution of
wealth upwards."
    --David Hogg

"Anything can be a database if you're good/bad enough at programming."
    --Corey Quinn

"To appreciate America's deep respect for human life and the sanctity thereof,
observe how upset we get when a jury doesn't give a murderer the death penalty."
    --Popehat

"The Midwest, where old people don't die, they just put price tags on their
stuff."
    --Hasufin

"The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed."
    --@auntyamerican

"I went to Mel's Hole and all I got was this magic seal fetus."
    --Hecklefish, _The Why Files_

"Turns out a synthesis engine trained on the exhaust of human culture can be
pretty good at simulating people."
    --Jack Clark

"Donkey Kong is Bowser's fursona."
    --Ieure

"You can do yourself a lot of harm if you look at a lot of gory injuries
without a bit of training, experience, and some backup."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"Hunter S. Thompson famously remarked that when the going gets weird, the
weird turn pro.  Well, we can't turn any more pro at this point."
    --Venkatesh Rao, on 2022.ev

"Springs: Made of steel and they fit in our locks.  Not sure if they will fit
that European Yule wizakovtiz you found on eBay that has been modified with
parts from a Ford Fiesta and that key you found in the Wendy's parking lot,
but give it a go."
    --Sparrows Lock Picks website

"You can't start putting together ideas about the future until you take a good
long look at the present - the systems and conditions that bind us."
    --Warren Ellis

"Confucius was probably also absolutely jacked from knocking out reps with the
Qiaoguan (door bolt, a traditional test of strength).  Not joking, Confucius is
known for 'lifting the bars to the city gates' as a feat of strength.  He was
also smaller than his dad Shú Liáng Hé who was 231cm, and once held up the
entire city gate on his own to escape from an ambush."
    --Naomi Wu

"The problem with democracy is that it attracts people whose only interest is
power over others... and, because they are dedicated their cause, they are
well able to chase off anyone who sees power as merely a means of achieving or
protecting their own primary interests.  So every democratic system - no matter
how apparently trivial, local or narrow in scope - gradually but inevitably
becomes dominated by those who only want power... until they cease to become
democratic systems altogether (because the final act of those who want power
is to lock everyone else out of it)."
    --@thamesynne@dragon.social

"2022 may not be the year of the Linux desktop.  I suppose instead we got
'year of the Teledildonics Chess Scandal.'"
    --maddiefuzz

"The next person who tries to tell me ''Uh, actually, computers can't generate
random numbers'' is getting strapped to a chair Clockwork Orange style while I
deliver a four hour lecture on the topics of entropy, randomness, cryptographic
pseudorandom number generation, and their importance for securing
communications in our modern world; probably with a metaphysical digression
about 'Like, what even is randomness, man?' The punchline of the whole thing
will be ''And none of this matters because it's fucking dice rolls for a
computer game.''"
    --rgegriff

"Between 1995 and 2022, people went from not understanding what the Internet
is to still not understanding what the Internet is but differently."
    --Freakazoid

"I think it's a disease of our time that users want to use social networks to
become famous and to make money.  Social networks should be and stay 'social'."
    --Chris Koester

"Google / Gmail is the number one spam service on the Internet.  Because of
their dominant market share, they are whitelisted everywhere and nobody dares
otherwise by default."
    --ck

"Casual reminder that 'X should be illegal' doesn't mean 'no one can do X', it
means 'the government should use violence against anyone who does X.'  Please
adjust your serious legal takes accordingly."
    --Eevee

"Git gets easier once you understand branches are homeomorphic endofunctors
mapping submanifolds of a Hilbert space."
    --SWalajander

"Don't have a backup strategy, have a restore strategy."
    --Scott Hanselman

"People are saluting Jon Stewart for his brutally efficient deconstruction of
the transphobic Arkansas AG [attorney general], and let me make it clear, he
should be.  But literally all he did was state the facts plainly and refuse to
allow her to dissemble or lie.  He did basic journalism.  The fact that Jon
Stewart is the one of the few people doing the bare minimum to confront this
sort of blatant anti-trans propaganda is laudable for him but a searing
condemnation of everyone else.  Jon Stewart has set an incredibly low bar of
'tell the truth and do not allow right-wingers to lie like right-wingers
always do' and so many journalists are failing to do that on purpose."
    --@vexwerewolf

"If you're never allowed to celebrate a victory that's anything less than
total, you don't end up with total victory.  You just get a lot of burnt-out
activists who go off and raise llamas."
    --@UrsulaV

"The writer's role is to menace the public's conscience.  He must have a
position, a point of view.  He must see the arts as a vehicle of social
criticism and he must focus on the issues of his time."
    --Rod Serling

"There is no moral high ground in leaving lethality to less competent
companies."
    --Palmer Luckey

"To be fair, I guess we should have known what we were getting into when we
realized who the git that named git was, and even he chose to be a git and
name it after himself."
    --Void Error

"One of my best friends has intentionally gotten himself stuck in quantum
space-time and we can't get him back.  It's like a bad mushroom trip that I
just can't sober up from.  Not that... Not that I do mushrooms. I would
never... as an employee of the United States military, I would never."
    --Ian Wright, _Quantum Leap_ (2022)

"I enjoy a good 6 year clusterfuck."
    --ag4ve

"You can't observe as much if you're observed by others."
    --Chevy Chase

"We stand in the middle of infinity, between outer and inner space.  And there's
no limit to either."
    --Dr. Peter Duvall, _Fantastic Voyage_

"JG Ballard wrote some really provocative stuff about this in an essay in
1970s, can't recall exactly, about how all the psychological data from the
moon missions was kept classified.  He predicted a future pathology where
space for humans would become a pure Thanatos death drive."
    --Aaron Stewart-Ahn

"It's a running joke that writers put their barely disguised fetishes into
their work but to be honest so much modern media from the last 15 years has
been so safe and chaste that it's left me longing for the days of _Species_ or
_Aeon Flux_ or basically anything Clive Barker."
    --Jack Harvey

"My body is a temple that was sold to goths who turned it into a BDSM club."
    --Erika Bloodaxe

"The road to fascism is lined with people telling you you're over-reacting."
    --Charles Johnson

"If you accept that we are living in a simulation, then you must also accept
that the simulation is likely written in Javascript."
    --Jared Palmer

"Do not mock the Waffle House.  Total strangers will take up arms in defense
of those hashbrowns and tell you the story of how, when the world was literally
on fire outside the windows, a gray-haired woman poured them coffee and called
them 'hon.'"
    --@UrsulaV

"For years, I've been getting emails intended for people who shared my
deadname, many of which are new account emails for fetish or porn sites, and I
always wondered how they could consistently get their own email wrong, but I
just realized they're probably typing it one-handed."
    --Mae Dean

"Having fun in nature takes some special circumstances, especially for prey
species.  It's hard to both have fun and be vigilant, so if your life is
defined by the necessity for near constant vigilance it doesn't leave much
room."
    --Kaeli Swift, Ph.D

"Cool Hacks are often about putting aside what something is FOR and instead
looking at what it can do."
    --Foone

"You can't appease a mad man to preserve the peace - it only delays the
slaughter."
    --David Hogg

"Nothing is important to modern people until it's made easy to do and most
importantly, is marketable."
    --@CipherS7N

"The 'metaverse' sucks now because most of the people parroting this buzzword
are in business suits, not people in fursuits."
    --@TehVulpez

"White racists will claim anything is sacred in order to claim a Black person
has befouled it, but nothing is actually sacred to these people.  Anything can
be used, repurposed or even degraded if they're the ones doing it.  It's all
about power and control."
    --@MsKellyMHayes

"Most dystopian thing I've seen this week: People on the political betting
site PredictIt wondering what happens to their money if Bolsonaro loses the
Brazilian election but remains in power via coup."
    --Ben Collins

"Reality has become indistinguishable from parody for a mere polynomial based
challenger."
    --@schmeigSophie

"If you meet one ignorant person with a child's understanding of how something
works, you met one ignorant person.  If everyone you see is just as fucking
ignorant, someone is profiting off keeping 'em that way."
    --Pookleblinky

"Don't give programmers advice in the form of a metaphor.  They will find an
edge case where the advice doesn't work and therefor the advice is wrong...
apparently."
    --Olafur Waage

"Non-violence has never, in fact, worked.  It has only ever been useful as a
warning to those with power that violence comes next if they don't change their
behavior.  It was the ever-present threat of violence that motivated change.
Non-violent protest is just a warning."
    --Beka Valentine

"I read a post where someone said 'The only thing stopping you is YOU!' Yup,
and you people have no idea how lucky you are I am so self-restrained."
    --Gene Spafford

"Years ago, my high school teacher cautioned us 'young ones' not to do more
with less, because when those in power saw that one person could work extra
hard to finish 3 people's work, they'd never hire 2 more people.  Still true
today."
    --Cecelia Poon, Ph.D

"Man, it's gonna be wild if WW3 pops off for real because of some dipshit with
a deepfake tool."
    --Ariadne Conill

"The right's ability to capture and exploit attention from seemingly orthogonal
subjects of interest is far more dangerous than 'Who is winning the email
fundraising?'  It's the entire point of their culture wars."
    --Matt Hodges

"Do one thing, and do it well.  Failing that, do a bunch of things half assed,
bundle them up into an ugly kludge, and sell it as a suite."
    --Jack Daniel

"Being a teacher in Finland is very prestigious.  Not only are they paid well,
they are valued in a way that the U.S. cannot understand."
    --April

"Americans will go on vacation to a place that isn't a car sewer, walk and
take public transit for 8-12 hours a day, notice a change in their health, and
attribute it to 'They must not have the Illuminati chemicals here.'"
    --@opinionhaver

"The most damning reception a superhero show or movie can receive is silence.
I was really looking forward to both _Thor 4_ and _Umbrella Academy_ season 3,
and not even the rightwing outrage merchants really said anything about them."
    --Kathryn Gibes

"You really have to appreciate how effective the propagandists are at taking
traditional made-up American anxieties (bad stuff in our kids' Halloween
candy!) and giving it a topical racist spin (specifically drugs, from
illegals!) for the benefit of a dimwitted audience."
    --Popehat

"Not having molecular-resolution VR applications running at 1khz for the low
price of $5k is a crime against humanity."
    --J.Corvinus

"If you feel like you're losing everything, remember that trees lose their
leaves every year and they still stand tall and wait for better days to come."
    --Unknown

"Weird how the amount of compiler assistance that's fundamentally necessary
but not excessively babying is exactly the amount required for the compiler
to know what machine code to emit in 1969.  What a cool coincidence."
    --Eevee

"It sucks, being self aware and not having the motivation to change it, so now
you're just stuck with painful self reflection."
    --AmphiBiEd

"Most people on this website are absolutely miserable and hate seeing someone
do anything impressive."
    --@ogi_samvila

"Fixing a bug will teach you more about programming than _9 Podcasts Every
Developer Should Listen To_."
    --@codewithvoid

"One user is user error, two users means I broke something."
    --wiedehopf

"I could make an hour long video about how this thing smells."
    --Perifractic

"Apologies to everyone lacking the context for this and being very confused
in my mentions.  You live a blessed existence, don't look anything up."
    --@fasterthanlime

"The truth is never context-free."
    --Jacques Valle'

"Giddyup.  Giddydown.  Giddy-all around."
    --Arcus

"I started this plant from seed in June.  End of September, it's produced its
first cucumber.  I did not actually expect it to bear fruit this year.  I am
absurdly pleased by this."
    --Warren Ellis

"Since G++ is the only compiler I've ever used that can spit out 3,000 lines
of error for a missed bit of punctuation I will cut the error short and only
include the top of the report from my c++11 enabled compiler (gcc v4.9.2)."
    --Jon Foster

"Learn from why people think you're wrong.  Even if you think they're wrong."
    --Aurynn Shaw

"Don't make adversaries where high profile, persuasive allies exist if you
don't have to."
    --Naomi Wu

"Take me down to Parallax City where the back moves slow and the front moves
quickly."
    --Fraggle

"Some fights aren't worth being there to have."
    --Gray's Law

"Actually inventing or producing things is at best the path to small-time
wealth.  The really big fortunes - the oligarch kind - instead come from
controlling the circumstances under which other people are allowed to produce
things.
    --Kevin Carson

"Facebook's Metaverse looks like a computer game you'd see 10 seconds of
footage of in a mid 2000's SVU episode about cyber crime."
    --Prehensile

"If you want to do something terrible with technology, you can't just roll it
out on people with money and social capital.  They'll complain and your idea
will tank.  Successful shitty tech rollouts start with people you can abuse
with impunity (prisoners, kids, migrants, etc) and then work their way up the
privilege gradient.  I call it the Shitty Technology Adoption Curve."
    --Cory Doctorow

"Emperor Norton is the only USAian royalty I acknowledge."
    --c0debabe

"If the last 40 years have proven anything, it's that far from wealth
trickling down, cutting taxes for the rich and regulation for their businesses
has a hoover-up effect."
    --Thamesynne

"Something is not always better than nothing.  Don't get involved if you can't
do it right."
    --Naomi Wu

"People used to describe Second Life as 'People living in AutoCAD'."
    --Polychrome

"I feel like this could benefit from a better motion tracking system, like the
aforementioned VR setup, but I also need to go buy cereal, so that science
experiment will have to wait."
    --buttplug.io

"They called it the Web, or the Net, because it was supposed to connect us all.
But now it's called that because all it does is captures us."
    --Radical Edward

"ALL THESE PLACES ARE YOURS
EXCEPT CHICAGO
ATTEMPT NO SHIT THERE, FOR REAL"
    --Brandom Toomey

"Get them out of there.  Throw them out.  They are spoiled and don't deserve
the education they are getting.  They don't have a right to take advantage of
our system of education."
    --Ronald Reagan, on college students

"This is the nightmare of Web 3.0.  Nothing is alive, organic, that isn't
easily shuffled to the back pages."
    --Whisper of the Worm

"The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness."
    --Annie, _Bull Durham_

"Apparently Hootsuite lost its goddamn mind."
    --Mae Dean

"What if being brutal and un-woke also makes you ineffectual?"
    --Paul Krugman

"The rotation schedules will continue until there are only desperate lifers
left."
    --zpojqwfejwfhiunz

"In the 1970's, it was widely believed that program design must be based on
well-structured methods and layers of abstraction with clearly defined
specifications.  The abstract data type best exemplified this idea and found
expression in then-new languages such as Modula-2 and Ada.  Today, programmers
are abandoning well-structured languages and migrating mostly to C.  The C
language doesn't even let compilers perform secure type checking, yet this
compiler task is by far most helpful to program development in locating early
conseptual mistakes.  Without type checking, the notion of abstraction in
programming languages remains hollow and academic."
    --Niklaus Wirth

"You have to get pretty wild when people at a UFO convention don't believe you."
    --Hecklefish

"A thing I want to say about Harry Potter game discourse is this: I don't
approve of buying the game, but I approve even less of the way capitalism
makes this a Personal Responsibility Problem, when the onus should be on
publishers to refuse money to genocidal oligarchs."
    --@outliersgeorg

"[redacted] is seeking some information concerning the activities of
individuals and the group known as the College of Universal Wisdom, Peet
[Post?] Office Address: Yucca Valley California, the activities of which are
centered at Giant Rock Airport, 16 miles from Yucca Valley.  The group
ostensibly is devoted to a study of space ships and interplanetary
communication, but its consistent 'line' in its publication is an attack upon
atomic weapons and the preaching of a nebulous peace.  George W. van Tassel is
listed as Director of the College of Universal Wisdom, and I know nothing
whatever concerning this.  However, at least one of the prominent guests at
the space ship convention at the Giant Rock Airport, Sunday, April 4th, has
been questioned about supposed communist affiliations."
    --Unknown informant, George W. van Tassel's FBI file, 17 May 1954

"A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of
trouble."
    --Adlai Stevenson

"As I've mentioned before, I recently had to rescue my glass carboy from the
lost dimensions where Jim Morrison had been using it as a bong."
"Who among us hasn't?"
    --Mae and Dave, _Real Life Comics_

"He wasn't advocating abandoning Earth.  It wasn't a policy statement.  He was
just pontificating about science fiction.  /Chill/."
    --AnEvenNicerGuy, on people mistaking Frank Herbert's stories for proposals

"Stabile Diffusion looks at a load of PR-friendly control systems laid over
proprietary products and just openly laughs at them - that's a strange thing
that will have big implications."
    --Jack Clark

"Feeding AI systems on the world's beauty, ugliness, and cruelty, but expecting
it to reflect only the beauty is a fantasy."
    --Ruha Benjamin

"Because of my beliefs I felt I could support others as their lives came to a
close, not support them WITH my beliefs, but BECAUSE of my beliefs.  My beliefs
are not for sharing with others.  They are to get ME through the night and to
help ME live my best possible life."
    --Barbara Karnes

"If you then post a whole bunch of hot and super dangerous/incorrect takes
you'll get picked up by the media, and eventually qualify for a blue check on
Twitter.  Then you're * v e r i f i e d * so obviously you're a doctor now."
    --Adrian Chadd

"Better the frying pan I know than the fire I don't."
    --Bill Horne

"What part of 'all means all' keeps drying up on the frying pan?"
    --J. Michael Straczynski

"Some advice from a 33-year-old: It's easy to feel elite in your ruthless
criticism.  Unhinged novelties of language to destroy another you're unhappy
with.  It is a whole other level for the people you criticize, to commend you
in your fairness.  Who recognize your criticism is not bullshit.  That you
live what you say.  That is respect.  That is a creed to aspire."
    --Swift On Security

"It is actually okay and reasonable to make new programming languages because
improving existing programming languages is hard!  For example, the compiler
vendor known as GNU could not improve C, so they made a new programming
language called GNU C."
    --Whitequark

"The problem is, people are being hated when they're real and loved when
they're fake."
    --Bob Marley

"There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades
happen."
    --An Inhabitant of Carcosa

"I get your rant, but you need to consider businesses and their GRC-related
policies, some of which are mandated by compliance and regulatory laws.  So,
to that degree, what we think probably doesn't matter all that much."
    --Kevin W. Wall, on password hashing work factors vs the real world

"If you are on Tikaboo [Peak] and something odd happens, look in the other
direction."
    --Joerg, webmaster of the Dreamland Resort forums, on distractions

"If you're wearing an orange vest, everyone assumes that whatever you are
doing is legit."
    --David Schneider

"The neoliberal turn of governments in the eighties laid the groundwork for
turning the dial of extortion and exploitation of the populace up to eleven.
Politicians are merely middle management for the hyper-wealthy and work to
keep the populace sufficiently subdued and placated while making sure the
racket can continue unabated."
    --Eve_O

With the Right, it's sex.  With the Left, it's money.

"You're disgusting, and depraved, and I am 100% on board with this in the
interest of scientific discovery."
    --Dave, _Real Life Comics_

"Civilization war doesn't mean open WW3.  Since the End of History in the 90's,
the western model has been challenged by several rising expansionist
countermodels actively seeking to dislodge and replace it.  That's the real
conflict to watch that'll shape our future."
    --priyom.org

"I had an Encyclopedia Brown dream where Bugs Meany submitted a brief with a
citation ending (11th Cir. 1979) and Encyclopedia caught that this was before
the 5th Cir. split and got Bugs disbarred for inventing an authority.  Send
help."
    --Ken Chu

"Libertarians go: If there's a value, there oughta be a cost.  These people
are: I'm sad, therefore someone caused it.  It's puritan discourse, the blame
always go to the out-group, never inside.  Puritans have ZERO self-awareness."
    --Nicholas Frota

"Companies realized that they inadvertently created a generation of tech-savvy,
self-actualized, and self-teaching people motivated to do more than consume
technology.  They aren't going to make the same mistake twice."
    --@MommyPosie

"Our identities and experiences _inform_ what we think and how we act, but
they are not the _only_ thing which determines them.  Let's not BE the right's
parody of social justice advocacy."
    --Jonathan Korman

"One of the more terrifying things about serial killers as a whole is how good
they are at identifying which victims police won't care about."
    --Abbey Perini

"I want to stress that Kyiv's off peak frequency while being invaded is better
than nearly all of America's transit systems during peak.  I'm genuinely at a
loss of words."
    --Hayden Clarkin, on public transit

"Last time I'm explaining myself, appreciate the cute cat and shut up."
    --@fayemikah

"Conservatives are just the most fragile, pathetic, stupid, and violently
nihilistic people imaginable."
    --Nowhere Girl

"Nice people made the best Nazis.  My mom grew up next to them.  They got
along, refused to make waves, looked the other way when things got ugly and
focused on happier things than 'politics'.  They were lovely people who turned
their heads as their neighbors were dragged away.  You know who weren't nicepeople?  Resisters."
    --Naomi Shulman

"The problem with facing teens as a Defender is they haven't yet conceded to
continually lose at life by restricting their gambits to within the bounds of
failure money has decided have solutions.  They seek only results and that is
why they are dangerous."
    --Swift On Security

"Nothing went against plan.  This time.  That we know."
    --@flamefew

"Roko's Basilisk is maybe the Platonic ideal of what a dumb person thinks a
smart idea sounds like.  It's great content for a ''mind-blowing thought
experiments science can't prove aren't real!'' Youtube video targeted at a
certain kind of Millennial who did a lot of drugs in 2014."
    --Enze Cartassi

If you don't prosecute sedition, it becomes strategy.

"Startups or products named after characters in my books have never done too
well."
    --William Gibson

"I'm not gonna do any constructive debate on this, I've done it more than
often enough and it's not worth it.  Dunking is funnier."
    --@_nyancrimew

"Perhaps the most comedic aspect of all of this is the way in which giving a
stranger something for free can make them swear an eternal vendetta against
you."
    --@Aelkus, on open source software

"The interesting thing about capitalism is that it's entirely incompatible
with the future, so we've just decided to get rid of the future and keep
capitalism."
    --Sister Petra

"Secrets of adulthood: The willingness to be cringe is actually key to a good
sex life.  No one is having bone-rattling orgasms with a sneer of hip
disinterested irony on their face."
    --Amberite

"There's some embedded cultural commentary on the fact news stories are asking
if ChatGPT will replace your job instead of your boss's job."
    --Swift On Security

"Technically speaking, Russia and China do have older secret services than the
Americans so in some sense we are employing their methods at scale.  We're a
young empire, the Italians have furniture and political methods that predate
our country."
    --@wash_cloth

"I think historians live in a make believe world of unreality sometimes."
    --@SerialPwny

"Socialism for the rich, individualism for the poor has always been the
American way."
    --@out_of_context

"Left to it's own devices PHP will provide an armory for you to try on your
feet."
    --Haxwithaxe

"I have one foot on each banana peel."
    --Dr. Robert Beck

"Columbo is a tokusatsu show.  It is very popular in Japan.  There is a
different monster to battle each week.  The main character performs a henshin
sequence by turning around and uttering a catchphrase."
    --@Zin5ki

"We have put a man on the moon, explored the depths of the oceans, produced
technology our ancestors would understand to be magic, but a safe, clean,
private place for everyone to live... dream on buddy!"
    --Jack Califano

"Being a 90's kid is hard because now when someone calls themselves 'nerdy'
they don't mean they're into anime tape trading or European board games, nerdy
means 'I passively ingest a constant IV feed of the largest franchises on the
planet.'  The sinister part is engineering Nerd Culture, this bizarre concept
that it's subversive to watch a billion dollar Disney film."
    --@DoctorPizzaMD

"The book on your frontend web framework is thicker than what a C64 programmer
needed to write a complete game."
    --Hynek Schlawack

"The game dev scene is littered with projects that started out saying 'How
hard could it be?' and left behind headstones that say 'Oh, THAT hard.'"
    --Jason Lefkowitz

"Don't worry. If the little bastards can survive falling out of a 75ft fir and
onto my deck, they can absolutely handle being tossed off a Yankee Squirrel
Flinger.  We'll see who triumphs, bark-chewing rodentia or YANKEE INGENUITY.
Honestly, I'm betting on the squirrels."
    --Lilith Saintcrow

"Computers are forever, but noodles are delicious."
    --Mark Hughes

"I just imagined the Starlink satellites as the low-earth orbit equivalent of
AOL CDs."
    --@kurtm@bsd.network

"It doesn't matter.  They're not gonna protect us."
    --Zayon Martinez, survivor, Uvalde, TX school shooting, 2022.ev

"There's a moment when you're sitting there lubricating your game controllers
that you think 'Maybe Cronenberg was on to something here.'"
    --buttplug.io

"Random reminder that your interpretation is not proof of another's intent.
It is wise to remember, especially when calling out others, that it might be
a misunderstanding on your part."
    --Calcifer

"We have put a man on the moon, explored the depths of the oceans, produced
technology our ancestors would understand to be magic, but a safe, clean,
private place for everyone to live... dream on buddy!"
    --Jack Califano

"Just because someone speaks with authority doesn't mean they have a fucking
clue what's going on."
    --Amanda Berlin

"You can't stop your dogs from barking by yelling at them.  They're just like,
''Hell yes we're all yelling now let's all keep yelling!  This is great!''"
    --@looks_last

"When I was an intern in the ED I asked for a surgery consult.  The responding
surgeon asked if I was an intern, and I said yes and asked if he was, too.  He
smiled and said ''No, I'm the department chair.  And here's a tip: Always
guess high.''  Good advice."
    --Joel Selanikio

"The Rule of Goats: Even if you say you're only fucking goats ironically,
you're still a goatfucker."
    --Popehat

"Never ask a man his salary, a woman her age, and a big company from a former
Axis nation what they were doing in the 1930's and 40's."
    --@fuckthechiefs10

"I wish there were ever any remotely sensible free speech discourse.  I wish
it did not only take the form of people latching onto 'the state must not use
its monopoly on violence to punish opinion' and pretending it's equivalent to
'I have an active right to trend on Twitter.'"
    --Eevee

"Second Life, but instead of locations like Count Pumpula's Psychedelic
Vampire Inflation Factory, it just has one infinitely large Target."
    --Jules Glegg, on the Metaverse

"The leftist shitcourse was that a trans person committing a wrong enough sin
was full justification to waive the leftist principle of not using oppressor
violence even against a genuinely bad deeds person."
    --Kalina Chung

"Right wingers aren't just mad that choices exist, they're mad that anyone is
allowed to choose something they themselves don't."
    --@VioletWanderers

"The moral of the story is, everything looks super cute if it's curated to
look that way."
    --@madge707

"Once you've developed a taste for blood, you will quickly discover the blood
of the evil and the blood of the just taste similar enough, and pretty soon,
any blood will do."
    --Glyph, on the culture wars

"As my high school econ teacher described taxes, 'cheap guillotine insurance.'"
    --@DanInADL

"Technically, a sphinx is just a catgirl with an unusual fondness for riddles
and murder."
    --@m0lpe

"Another day without using y=mx+b."
    --@Drizzyrich14

"I wish all of my AI friends the best of luck as they go traipsing through the
mountains of madness.  When you encounter computer-made horrors beyond your
comprehension, don't say nobody warned you."
    --Vivid Void

"You can't go after furries and then expect network engineers to be nice
to you."
    --Bob Poekert

"REPRESENTATION DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BE MEANINGFUL"
    --@dynamicsymmetry

"In the 1970s the very air sparkled with cocaine like spice on Arrakis."
    --@saucissonsec

"Manually winning ~144 battles is simply not doable.  I'm not THAT bored.  I'm
gonna have to get smart.  And that's exactly what I didn't want to do today."
    --Foone

"Today I realized that there is a step below security theater, and that is
compliance theater."
    --@trashp4ndasec

"I'm pondering the problem that our relentless 'STEM, STEM, STEM!!!'
educational drumbeat has created a new class of engineers who can solve any
technical problem but also can't explain why Naziism is bad.  This is adjacent
to the problem that people in this country see no merit in studying any
subject that cannot go on a resume' and be instantly monetized."
    --David Bowman

"Those who value nothing but money can't ever understand people who don't."
    --@Paul_IPv6

"It's quite a wonderful industry of dissonance where the same people are
twisting their pants about 'supply chain security' and knowing where code came
from while also promising that in the future every line of code will come
from a mystery meat AI generation tool."
    --@tef_ebooks

"If you're at the point where you've lost American celebrity worshippers,
you're well and truly fucked."
    --David Austin Walsh

"Once you've been to Cambodia, you'll never stop wanting to beat Henry
Kissinger to death with your bare hands.  You will never again be able to open
a newspaper and read about that treacherous, prevaricating, muderous scumbag
sitting down for a nice chat with Charlie Rose or attending some black-tie
affair for a new glossy magazine without choking.  Witness what Henry did in
Cambodia - the fruits of his genius for statesmanship - and you will never
understand why he's not sitting in the dock at the Hague next to Milosevic.
While Henry continues to nibble nori rolls and remaki at A-list parties,
Cambodie, the neutral nation he secretly and illegally bombed, invaded,
undermined, and then threw to the dogs, is still trying to raise itself up on
its one remaining leg."
    --Anthony Bourdain

"I'll bet you a testicle that projects like Bluesky will find no meaningful
purchase on the platform, because if Bluesky were implemented and Twitter users
could order their feeds for minimal enshittification and leave the service
without sacrificing their social networks, it would kill the majority of
Twitter's 'monetization' strategies.  (Not one of mine.)"
    --Cory Doctorow

"The governor has declared a state of emergency and asked all Californians to
not run `npm install` between 4 PM and 9 PM today in an effort to save energy."
    --@ikasliwal

"Singer's rule: Free events are the most work."
    --Peter W. Singer

"I like the idea of defining ambition as ''a willingness to acknowledge what
you're actually capable of.''"
    --@kasratweets

"Responsible disclosure is a privilege, not a right."
    --Quentyn Taylor

"[Henry] Kissinger could always be depended upon to support a dictatorship
whether he stood to turn a buck or not."
    --Congressman Stephen Solarz

"Nextdoor is a great place to find out what neighbors would turn you in to the
secret police when we get far enough down the road to fascism."
    --@Ragnell

"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and
hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series
of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."
    --H.L. Mencken

"Wait.  Force feedback for hand tracked VR was a solved problem all along, just
no one knew what to google?"
    --@halcy

"Imagine getting breaking information from modern sources, rather than just
waiting for a police statement and then writing the same story everyone else
is writing."
    --@StroppySjw

"I dread things taking off, because anything of mine getting more attention
means BOTH that 1) someone with a grudge against me is more likely to see it,
and 2) people with a grudge against me will more strongly feel the need to
destroy it."
    --Eevee

"I think a lot about how the main reason Twitter-central community environments
are so toxic because people regularly engage in activities which would get
them banned from any sensible forum 15 years ago."
    --@jdragsky

"Life is about finally embracing the weirdness that your formative years
bullied out of you."
    --@bookishseawitch

"The trans dudes are feral, the enbies are feral, frankly people are just
looking for justifications for not liking someone on a personal level so they
have to make it a socio-political one."
    --@Tayruu

"I'd say Goatse was more than a bit of a stretch."
    --@KlooKloo

"When you see humans as tools, then it's easier to erase their contributions
and easier to disregard their human rights."
    --Karla Ortiz

"''Oh, they literally just want to not get punished for taking UNPAID sick and
emergency days to see a doctor?  Or deal with a family emergency?  That's
asking for so little.  Who could say no to that?'' Well, it turns out: Bosses
can and will!"
    --Colin Spacetwinks

"Sometimes I think we HAVE been taken over by lizard people because there are
so many prominent folks who seem to lack recognizably human qualities."
    --Popehat

"The worst part about knowing of a breach at a company before the company has
acknowledged knowing about it is you don't know when the right time to change
all of your passwords is."
    --Johnny Xmas

"A solid 60-80% of data centre capacity is doing nothing of importance or with
any real-world impact.  It's mostly AWS leasing capacity to 'B2B enterprise
innovation management services' companies so they can run the world's most
inefficient expenses software."
    --Jack Kennedy

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to be loosely associated with
someone who may have problematic music in their Spotify."
    --@apsciencebydan

"Even the name 'fentanyl' is a killing word!  It is the Kwisatz Haderach!"
    --Foone

"Serpents and poison fix a lot of problems."
    --Lyssa

"Everything is a fuse when the current is high enough."
    --Niconiconi

"That is crunchy-ass thread!  I don't love it."
    --Adam Savage

"I know about 500 geriatic ladies with blue hair, scoliosis, and extreme
prescription glasses, because I am a member of two quilt guilds, the
scientific illustration guild, the Rocky Mountain SCA and stagehand for three
different theater companies, so I know everyone's grandma and fuck me if I
can tell them apart."
    --Gallus Rostromegalus

"Sometimes the map of a territory has to be turned into a Tube map so you can
find your way through it."
    --Warren Ellis

"You can accomplish a lot with fire and a leaf blower."
    --Hasufin

"If you are turning your sanctimony into a Fleshlight and jerking off with
it, that's fucking gross!"
    --Laurelindel

"Someone managed to reintroduce the awkward parts of real parties into a
virtual space."
    --Raven, on holding a funeral in gather.town

"The measure of any great game is not memory size or whether it uses an MMC1
or MMC5.  The real test is whether or not it's fun to play."
    --_Nintendo Power_, January 1991

"People who are fully healthy, fit, and neurotypical seem to think they are
that way because they're doing something right that the rest of us haven't
thought of, and not just because they got lucky."
    --Teaboot

"If being a housewife fulfilled all these women they wouldn't be bringing
Spielberg-level production values to TikTok."
    --Lydia Kiesling

"Everything's fucking ridiculous there.  I'm fed up with people getting
killed every day.  God knows how many people have been shot in school
shootings.  And there was that mass shooting in Vegas at that concert... It's
fucking crazy.  And I don't want to die in America.  I don't want to be
buried in fucking Forest Lawn.  I'm English.  I want to be back.  But saying
that, if my wife said we've got to go and live in Timbuktu, I'll go.  But,
no, it's just time for me to come home."
    --Ozzy Osbourne, on leaving the United States

"Do you remember when 'journalists' checked their facts and verified their
sources?  I do.  I am old."
    --Quellish

"The difference between American billionaires and Russian oligarchs is that
in Russia you only get to be an oligarch if the president likes you, whereas
in America you only get to be president if the billionaires like you."
    --Ivy Alraune

"The secret to life is making enough time for family and friends, enough time
for travel and passions, enough time for physical activity, enough time for
career, enough time for sleep, enough time to keep a clean and inspiring
home, and enough time for reading.  So, like, good luck with that."
    --Sam Riegel

"Corporations are so reliant on your free labor that they see electing not to
donate your time and energy as a form of open rebellion."
    --Patrick S. Tomlinson

"Every dominant species that has ever existed has died out but humans think
they are special somehow."
    --Dildog

"If there's anything being very, publicly weird has taught me, it's: Nothing
is really all that weird.  There's always someone who can relate."
    --@PAWBMONSTER

"I really don't understand why I should be upset or resentful if younger
people have more options or an easier time than I did.  I don't mind when
new medicines or technologies are invented that improve people's lives,
either."
    --Matt Blaze

"I remain frustrated how much of the public narrative is completely
disconnected from the actual issues involved in the legal dispute."
    --Mike Masnick

"Grind culture (by default) disqualifies well-rounded, experienced, senior
people who have balanced lives - and it's those people who likely bring the
most value, because they've already made all the mistakes you're about to
make."
    --@GoldenCSO

"The problem with becoming a Microsoft tech in 2022 is there's more lore than
the Marvel Universe.  Like, what the fuck was CarPC?"
    --Swift On Security

"More fiction is written in Excel than Word."
    --Will Manidis

"Seems worth mentioning that one part of the strategy laid out in the Powell
memo in the 1970's was to make college so expensive that students would
graduate in so much debt they'd be less likely to work against corporate
interests."
    --Amy Westervelt

"We are in danger of producing an educated proletariat.  That's dynamite!
We have to be selective on who we allow to go through higher education.  If
not, we will have a large number of highly trained and unemployed people."
    --Roger Freeman, education advisor to presidents Richard Nixon and
      Ronald Reagan

"Student loan forgiveness undermines one of our military's greatest recruitment
tools at a time of dangerously low enlistments."
    --Representative Jim Banks

"They exploit the fact that we will shove each other into wood chippers for
clout."
    --Slaanesh

"My brother in shotguns and hamburgers, you are getting taxed at the same
rate regardless of what the government spends it on, you're not getting an
extra bill for anyone's student debt."
    --0xabadidea

"Boomers melting down about how this isn't fair is really something.  We know
life isn't fair.  You told us that every single day of our childhood.  So
I'll give you the same advice you always gave us: Get over it."
    --Sarah Watson

"Picking on US housing policy is a bit like picking on a Down syndrome kid
with leukemia."
    --@0knaomi

"If you have a problem with the student loan cancellation because you already
paid off your loans, just pretend it's a tax cut for the rich that you also
never got but mysteriously didn't complain about."
    --Katelyn Burns

"I'm an only-occasionally-job-having philosophy major in Ohio, and I'm
wondering why I have to pay the salary of a gormless chucklefuck who didn't
protect students in his charge from a sexual predator."
    --John Scalzi

"Amazing that someone can make a video explaining that they lied to you and
we think 'This person is probably telling the truth.'"
    --Richard D. Bartlett

"Hello?  I would like someone cancelled from my spacetime light cone."
    --Ascended NPC Alex

"For every one person who reads the article, there are nine who will only
read the headline.  Headlines.  Matter."
    --Eric Kolb

"Are you a bad enough dude to eat someone's balls while they are still alive?"
    --Pookleblinky

"The phrase 'Someone ought to do something' was not, by itself, a helpful
one.  People who used it never added the rider 'and that someone is me.'"
    --Terry Pratchett

"Are you all really 'getting something' out of these 'gatherings'?  Why can't
it just be normal socialization and partying.  Why does it have to be a
business model?  Why does it have to be framed like these goddesses are
deigning to rent you their attention?"
    --@deepfates

"There are actually more pages of documentation for the x86 than the number
of individual transistors in the 6502."
    --@veekorbes

"We have reached that time of year, when the Spirit of Halloween possesses
and animates the corpses of dead stores, bringing them to a grotesque parody
of their former selves."
    --Hasufin

"It is safe to assume that for the many thousands of years that cats and
humans have closely interacted, cats have behaved in exactly the same way the
entire time.  So, we can imagine an Egyptian pharaoh at court, interrupted
by a court cat loudly vomiting a hairball."
    --Lauren Weinstein

"Controversial thesis: If the highest paid person in your university or
college is the basketball coach or the football coach, then it is not a
university, it is a sporting franchise with a side hustle in tertiary
education."
    --Michael F. Bird

"People have asked me my opinion of President Biden's criticism of 'semi
fascism.'  Well, I can't overstate my disapproval of the inappropriate use of
'semi.'"
    --Mike Godwin

"The Russians, their proxies, and their tankie fellow travelers have
inherited the old Soviet concept of human behavior: They assume everyone is
a dull drone and therefore nobody does anything much on their own accord.
It does not even occur to them that people make individual decisions."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"You need to learn... how you do that is irrelevant, it's only important that
you do."
    --Binder

"If it makes someone happy and I don't have to participate, whatever."
    --Andrew C. Dingman

"People will pay all kinds of premiums if they're framed as punishment for
someone else."
    --Tressie McMillan Cottom

"It can definitely be frustrating when someone says, ''I don't know if they
can do this or not,'' and yet they never chose to just ask the person."
    --Aaron Lee

"The Challenger accident in January 1986 followed by Chernobyl in April had
an enormous effect on fifth-grade me.  I started to suspect that most
grown-ups had no idea what the fuck they were doing.  I've done rather well
in life by not overestimating people in power."
    --Dr. Jeffrey Lewis

"I swear to god, thesl people are so brainwashed by capitalism they only see
art for its utilitarian purpose as a consumer."
    --Squeedge

"Just because you didn't know it exists doesn't make it secret."
    --Asher Wolf

"I feel like sincerity is one of the most endangered things in the 21st
century.  Commodification of everything has caused humanity to lose itself."
    --Janos Stripes

"Whenever I think things can't get more insane and people in positions of
power can't be more ignorant or dangerous... something happens to show me
the bullshit is LIMITLESS."
    --Laurie Allee

"Can't believe the dude who steals money from children with cancer isn't a
sound business partner."
    --Iron Spike

"It was a mistake to teach logical fallacies outside of a formal classroom
setting.  You have ten thousand men with Greek statue avatars who think ad
hominem means when something is mean, and an appeal to authority is when
someone knows more than they do."
    --@these_qualia

"We've taken a nosedive on life expectancy and it is largely based on
behavioral choices.  Historians will be baffled.  You mean to tell me they
chose death over a mask?  Yes, yes they did."
    --Dr. Ebony Jade Hilton, MD

"People will consume like gluttons any lie that offers them license to be
monsters."
    --Cigfran Llwyd

"When you aspire to be as good as someone without trying to be that person
you can do a lot of personal development."
    --Amunfox

"Some days you wake up and realize that if you can't make the world better
today, you can at least make it stranger."
    --Foone

"Just because a feature exists does not mean it exists to be used."
    --Swift On Security

"My theory is we are so uncomfortable with sincerity that when artists
earnestly deconstruct their own trauma and confront societal ills a lot of
people have a knee jerk disgust response."
    --Lola Sebastian

"News networks are not here to defend democracy.  There is only one goal and
one goal only.  Higher CPM's.  CPM is the currency used in TV to reflect the
value of the programming.  The higher the CPM, the higher the margin on that
commercial being sold."
    --YS

"The Rule of Goats: Even if you say you're only fucking goats ironically,
you're still a goatfucker."
    --Popehat

"If you stop and think about it, it's really weird that every ISP and social
media company and cloud provider and search engine work together to stop me
from sharing illegal copies of Harry Potter, but credible death threats
against specific people are easy to spread."
    --Daniel Feldman

"Who taught you to drive?  Ian Fleming?"
    --Gloria Sternvirgin, _Deathrow Gameshow_

"Showing up to Burning Man with nothing but two USBs and a backpack.  This is
like a raver's version of _Naked and Afraid_."
    --John Summit

"With great power comes great electric bill."
    --ladystarbird

"It's slightly worrying how many companies are like ''We're bringing vital
healthcare into the home with our groundbreaking device that can do brain
surgery on you while you watch TV.  We're hiring PHP, React, and Visual Basic
programmers.''"
    --Foone

"You took me seriously enough to think my post required a rebuke, a denial,
and a challenge to debate.  By contrast, I do not take you or your audience
seriously in the least.  Run along."
    --Popehat

"Isn't that science?  No speculation allowed... I speculate.  And the reason
I do is because speculation breeds hypothesis.  Hypothesis breeds
experimentation.  Experimentation finds proof."
    --Marc D'Antonio

"The paradise of the rich is made out of the hell of the poor."
    --Victor Hugo

"Right now is a terrible time to join the Jehovah's Witnesses!  A key part of
their beliefs is that when the end comes (and we are in the final days), only
144,000 chosen believers will make it into heaven.  Why's that a problem?
BECAUSE THERE ARE BETWEEN 9 AND 21 MILLION JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES!  'Join our
religion, you have (at best) a 1 in 62 chance of going to heaven!'  Bad odds.
Don't play this lottery.  I don't know what weapons WW3 will be fought with,
but the war against God will be fought with suplexes and piledrivers."
    --Foone

"I don't know anything with certainty, but seeing the stars makes me dream."
    --Vincent Van Gogh

"The devil works fast, but NSFW Pokémon fan artists work faster."
    --Sisi Jiang

"I had my thread scissors (quite sharp at the points) out for an exposure
therapy.  I was on virtual call with my therapist explaining my fears of
accidentally hurting my crabs.  Pumpkin [the hermit crab] eased those fears
by reminding me of what I should fear.  Her.  With a knife."
    --Just Another Sparrow

"We are in a war of destroyers against creators, sadists against people.
Ghouls on social media/Telegram cheering and sharing pictures of 'enemy'
teenagers being tortured and killed are just less powerful versions of the
same death eating ghouls on top."
    --@YourAnonCentral

"The attack was very straightforward and simple - to someone with deep
knowledge of the mathematical literature on supersingular isogenies.  Complex
stuff, and until now really the domain of specialists."
    --Jerry Leichter, on the full break of the SIKE post-quantum cryptosystem

"Old enough means remembering, like, three months ago."
    --@thrillhouse138

"It's all just a game to them.  You're just a part of it, whether you know
or not."
    --Anonymous, on the influence of extremely wealthy people on just about
      everything

"Back in the late 90s, when I was involved in the then-new DVD industry, the
first movers in that space were, porn (of course) and Bollywood.  Hollywood
showed up very late to the game and almost had to be dragged."
    --Joseph Matheny

"The substrate of evil ranges from sheer stupidity to ideological
self-righteousness to sharp, seething malice.  The distinctions have no
meaning to the victim."
    --Cigfran Llwyd

"Artistic quality isn't a static thing.  Art is always measured both against
its contemporaries and also by the standards of what has come since.  It's
standing is not a fixed point."
    --Joseph Brassey

"The presumption that in the 'marketplace of ideas' everyone debates with
equal honesty is so profoundly naive, I'm stunned by it."
    --Alex Arrelia

"It's almost like if we participate in harassment campaigns against people
we don't like, it has consequences for people we do like."
    --Emily Gorcenski

"Less than 10 years until they finally make kindness illegal."
    --Dildog

"One of the main features of American anti-intellectualism is a belief that
no one *really* likes anything that isn't mass pop culture.  That if you read
poetry, watch foreign movies, listen to bands not on top 40 radio, whatever,
you must be in some sense faking it.  It's so ingrained that even when
something deemed intellectual IS popular they believe it's some kind of mass
deception."
    --Lincoln Michel

"I feel like SMB1 speedrunning is becoming so technically constrained that
in a few years we're going to see people stop playing the game and just start
making mathematical proofs of what's possible"
    --@emilyst

"The reason trans people have often resorted to mind-body dualism
explanations is because cis people tend to be incredibly dense."
    --Nowhere Girl

"It's an honor to be at Blackhat on Zero Cool day."
    --the_gibson

"The spaces you grew up in aren't just away from you physically, they're
gone.  Time changed all of them.  There is no place like the one in your
memories anymore."
    --Void Angel

"Ostrom had to coin a rule: If it works in reality, it also works in theory.
Sustainable commons are not a myth.  They exist in the world!  They work!  It
doesn't matter how well you think you've intuited your way to the Tragedy:
It's still a myth."
    --@HeavenlyPossum

"Use Signal, use Tor, and bring a kitten just in case."
    --Zack Whittaker

"Always remember, just because someone speaks with authority doesn't mean
they have a fucking clue what's going on."
    --Amanda Berlin

"Do not waste any mental or emotional energy laboring to prove Republican
hypocrisy on the 'we must not investigate our political opponents' angle.
Hypocrisy literally doesn't matter anymore.  It's dead.  No one cares.  Find
more productive and salient lines of attack/defense."
    --Mike Duncan

"'How would Alan Moore feel about using Joanna Constantine instead of John?'
So... you think that the guy who created a chain smoking, drug using, bisexual
anarchist would object if the character was all of those things and also a
woman?"
    --Robert MacQuarrie

"Clever code is hardware in disguise."
    --Christopher Collett

"Everyone is just another person.  When people or societies forget that, they
lose what it is to be human."
    --Paul O'Malley

"An FBI raid on a former president sets a dangerous precedent by implying
the rule of law applies equally to everyone."
    --@SevaUT

"On behalf of defense lawyers everywhere I really appreciate the clarity with
which the GOP is expressing that the role of law enforcement is only to
police the powerless and that if it polices them it is so illegitimate it
should be dissolved."
    --Popehat

"Conspiracy theorists are so useless.  They're always like 'a tiny group of
powerful elites is ruling the world and acting only upon their own
interests,' and it's like yeah, we see that.  We can all see that."
    --Ginny Hogan

"I just typed a command wrong and it downloaded an Ed Sheeran music video.
This must be what Slotin felt like when the screwdriver slipped."
    --Foone

"By age 30, you should have at least three horrific stories you tell in a
joking manner that leaves everyone speechless and concerned for your well
being, and it hasn't clicked that it was trauma before that moment."
    --Doc Wolverine

"CHICAGO was the project name for Windows 95 and for some reason still
persists in a bunch of fucking random places and seeing it reminds us we are
on a treadmill of time that brings nothing but the past repeated."
    --Swift On Security

"Dear Defcon attendees, I would love to personally thank the 99% of you who
not only follow the masking guidelines but do it joyously.  We all appreciate
it.  The other 1%?  I'm carrying a giant rubber chicken, do you think I'm
gonna debate science with you?  MASK UP."
    --@dakacki

"Like 95% of the immediate problems of AI policy are just 'who has power
under capitalism,' and you literally can't do anything about it.  AI costs
money.  Companies have money.  Therefore companies build AI.  Most talk about
democratization is PR-friendly bullshit that ignores this."
    --Jack Clark

"By age 30 you should have killed me.  You knew what would happen if you
didn't and yet your sentimentality stayed your hand.  It's too late now, of
course, the Fractal already has teeth and the Mirrors are digesting the
horizon.  This is the consequence, what happens next is on you."
    --Void Priestess

"Alex Jones represents the well-known economic process of wealth transfer
from stupid people to evil people."
    --Popehat

"People fight to oppress others not because they want to oppress others, but
because they are told ''If you don't fight them now, they are going to take
everything from you later.''"
    --TipzE

"No, facts is precisely what there is not, only interpretations."
    --Nietzsche

"Inside every x86 is every x86 ever built."
    --Codekoan

"A lot of people are realizing they get value out of life in non-work areas
and their previous efforts to generate additional productivity or efficiency
aren't benefitting them through higher pay or salary, only financially
rewarding their manager or the company they work for."
    --Karen K. Ho

"If the facts are against you, argue the law.  If the law is against you,
argue the facts.  If the law AND the facts are against you, pound the table
and yell like hell."
    --Carl Sandburg

"The street finds its own uses for things, and the street is incredibly,
mindbogglingly horned up.  You would not believe how incredibly horned up the
street is."
    --Pookleblinky

"Very suspicious that the DoD announces they won't be using any software with
bugs in it, the day after I find out they may be using some of my old software
in nuclear weapon design.  I got bad news for ya'll."
    --Foone

"At a certain point, our corrupt and moribund political culture has no hope
of solving humanity's problems.  You either bet on science and technology,
or you bet on extinction."
    --Edward Snowden

"Always feels weird when something you remember fondly, was a large part of
your childhood for a few years and thought was everywhere, turns out only has
like 2 paragraphs on Wikipedia and almost nobody knows or cares."
    --Mobcat

"My toddler's daycare apparently uses the 'clean up' song.  My husband and I
discovered this yesterday when we started singing it and it activated our
kid like she was a sleeper agent and she immediately started putting her toys
away."
    --@Marie_ClySar

"Every day, people are grievously injured by sticking their penises into
household appliances.  Even in the era of the Fleshlight and the Dicksucker
3000, they need the thrill of danger.  They need razor sharp spinning blades.
That's where our product comes in."
    --@deepfates

"Boot lickers are aspiring boot owners."
    --Cigfran Llwyd

"Most people will give up whatever morals they have at the slightest
suggestion of inconvenience that'd come from upholding them."
    --Pookleblinky

"The revolution won't be televised, but you will be working during the
apocalypse."
    --Camilo

"Spite pays dividends."
    --Nire Bryce

"We should live under a system where if we created something this amazing we
should all just gawk at how cool it is, but instead we have to debate whether
it's bad actually because there's a distinct possibility that some artists
will literally starve."
    --Eniko Fox

"When people get confrontational on the Internet, remember that they are
entitled to their opinion, but they are not entitled to yours."
    --Dildog

"The hardest processes to tamper with are the ones that have *the most* open
participation.  Conspiracy theorists love to throw systems like that out and
replace then with the input of one person they *know* they can trust.  Because
their gut tells them so."
    --Matthew Green

"Trans women just dress up using sexist regressive stereotypes, such as cat
ears, systems programming, plaid, and Magic: The Gathering."
    --Eevee

"One year I went to Defcon and left an old laptop out with 'Do your worst'
written on it.  I came back to it a few hours later and it hadn't even been
touched.  'Till I booted it up the next day and glitter spewed out of the
fans on the back."
    --@Firr

"People calling the MAGA threats and attacks on the FBI 'Mafia tactics', but
Cosa Nostra generally forbid going after federal agents."
    --Matt Blaze

"Someone just asked me if it's true that ADD meds are more addictive than
heroin.  I've forgotten to take my ADD meds for the last three days in a row.
If you can forget you're addicted to heroin then yeah, it's probably the same
thing."
    --Jenny Lawson

"Clearly what I am looking for, should I ever choose to do this, is a surgeon
who thinks like a BME poster from 2006."
    --@angel_infestor

"Peaches, the trash can is not a treasure hunt."
    --Mandy Morbid, to her cat

"Why does everyone censor British like Br*tish and not Bri*ish?"
"Because if we hide the tea you tend to invade."
    --Katy Montgomerie and Ari Drennen

"I move that the words 'Republican' and 'conservative' be replaced in all
discussions and media with the term Cartmanist.  Because that's what we've
got right now.  The behavior and ideals on display are neither Republican
nor conservative. Just the antics of childish sociopaths."
    --Phil Brucato

"'Do not put this product into the rectum by using fingers or any mechanical
device or applicator.'  WELL WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST I USE THEN?  I DON'T LIKE
THE LACK OF OPTIONS HERE."
    --Foone

"'Get it over with' and 'survival of the fittest' messaging cannot exist
without assuming and accepting that: We need to weed out those who will die
by the virus ASAP; we can predict who that will be; and a COVID death is in
an of itself evidence that the person was unfit, ergo, expendable."
    --Amber Chisholm

"I'm just going to get real with y'all.  I don't know a single conservative
I think of as manly.  All the ones I know live in a perpetual state of
childlike fear.  Fear that someone will criticize them, or they'll have to
learn someone's pronouns.  Compare it to progressive men.  When I think about
why I admire in men, progressive dudes have it and conservative men don't.
They're unbothered by drag queens or gay people.  They don't live in
irrational fear of terrorists or China or immigrants.  They feel
responsibility to protect the weakest among us.  Living in an endless state
of fear against imaginary slights is not manly.  It's childish.  The weakest
men in America belong to the Republican Party."
    --Brianna Wu

"When you're younger, war feels more like a natural disaster than the mess of
political decisions and capitalist control it actually is, and it's on
yourself to realize that because few people or media are going to hammer the
point enough."
    --@CalavErik8

"I think a lot about how [Hideo] Kojima put way too much faith in people to
pick up on the messages of his games."
    --@SuperPaulineGay

"You cannot hurt me by calling me Ned Flanders.  He is my favorite Simpsons
character.  He doesn't really mind that he's lame, he's overall generally
happy, and he's a fairly good person, relatively speaking."
    --@ExileGrimm

"Upstairs cocaine, downstairs crack.  Upstairs Adderall, downstairs ice.  SF
is like a fractional distillation tower for stimulants."
    --@deepfates

"In complex situations, without the right training, 'common sense' will get
you killed.  'Conservative common sense' is designed to comfort cis, straight,
white, Christian people... and hurt everyone else."
    --Elf Sternberg

"Why does it feel like I'll be spending the rest of my day talking to the
nice people at the NRC again..."
    --Zander

"''But isn't any participation in society complicity in death machines?''  I
dunno man, I don't go into gun stores then get confused and afraid when they
refuse to sell me bread.  Seems like a you problem, my dude."
    --Pookleblinky

"Never forget that humanity made its grand debut onto the galactic stage by
sending unsolicited nudes, a mix tape, and directions back to our place."
    --Alexander Winn

"'I became a Marine to protect your base on Mars,' is an audience question
that was just asked, if you're wondering how the Tesla annual shareholder
meeting is going."
    --Michael Ballaban

"Your humanity ends where my petroleum dependence begins."
    --Swift On Security

"Just because something's not legal doesn't mean it's not right."
    --Hecklefish, _The Why Files_

"You can tell you're in a failing nation when one side wants to actively
murder some and subjugate a majority of the population, the other side wants
to tut feebly from the sidelines while it happens, and the predominant
narrative is: 'Why are politics today so polarized?'"
    --Socketwench

"Building a JVM is a cool self-own because you do all this cool work and then
at the end of the day you have, uh, a JVM."
    --@iximeow

"Principled people are ruthless."
    --Cigfran Llwyd

"I would like it if we stop reinventing Maoist struggle sessions on social
media webbed sites."
    --@__femb0t

"Alex Jones' lawyer passed the Bar and YOU have imposter syndrome?"
    --Laurie Charles

"There is no conspiracy more outlandish, more unfathomably surreal, than the
agonizing reality that Alex Jones was raking in 800K per day through
InfoWars."
    --Berny Belvedere

"The worst part about being sober is knowing what's going on."
    --Charlie James

"Jon Stewart is an excellent example of the power of celebrity when its
wielded strategically and unrelentingly on a single issue - and also, it says
a lot about our system that an issue like this would require a celebrity's
unrelenting advocacy for years in order to be addressed."
    --Wesley Lowery, on a cop chasing down, using a taser on, sitting on,
      and then shooting a black guy in the back at point-blank range

"One of the most poisonous things the Internet ever did was supercharge this
thing we do where we can't just privately dislike someone, we can't just find
them obnoxious, we have to make it a participatory team sport where we all
act on that dislike for fun."
    --@dynamicsymmetry

"I single handedly stopped no less that 1,000 attacks by filling out this
vendor risk management Excel doc.  Rest well everyone.  I got you."
    --Tim Medin

"If your friends all sound like a Twitter hustle account you have made some
very poor decisions indeed."
    --Eevee

"Since it's Election Day for some folks I'd like to bring up a weird thing
that sometimes happens where voters will pass a ballot measure to expand
Medicaid and states will just go 'No'.  Isn't it wild to live in a country
where that just happens sometimes?  That's why it's weird when people go
'Vote, vote harder!' because it's like, ok, but when you do that they
probably shouldn't be able to just do the opposite thing."
    --@Brendelbored

"Just so great that we've set modern society up to be utterly incompatible
with actual human life and human experience!!  I love it."
    --Hannah Riley

"I don't understand why we must do things in this world, why we must have
friends and aspirations, hopes and dreams.  Wouldn't it be better to retreat
to a faraway corner of the world, where all its noise and complications would
be heard no more?  Then we could renounce culture and ambitions; we would
lose everything and gain nothing; for what is there to be gained from this
world?"
    --Emil Cioran

"I clicked a blurred NSFW image and then was forced to VIEW it.  How is that
my fault??"
    --happy_bluebird

"Kid, if you ain't cheating you ain't trying.  If you get caught you ain't
trying hard enough."
    --Kusuriya

"For me, one of the biggest losses incurred in this pandemic is my once
deeply held belief that most people, given the right info and resources, will
work together to achieve common goals and want the best for one another; that
most people understand that rights come with responsibilities."
    --Jennifer Mustapha, Ph.D

"Is it really a 'self own' when their supporters agree with it and it helps
to solidify their base?"
    --@exceptionalnull

"The premise that Windows kernel vulnerabilities and SQL injection attacks
are still security issues in the 23rd century is the most plausible thing
Star Trek has ever done."
    --Tim Pierce

"Why pay all the costs of your spies when you can get Twitter to pay six
figures for you?"
    --Joe Schottman

"'Millennials are very cavalier about not having children.'  Bro, the Earth
is becoming uninhabitable.  'Millennials are too busy taking selfies to think
about having childre-'  We wake up to reports of multiple school shootings
per day."
    --@ruemcclammyhand

"I'll be fucked if you're gonna tell me some respectability bullshit, like
I'm somehow harming my own motherfucking prospects.  You'll notice I've won
every award short of a Pulitzer and I'm not even 40.  I don't lack a
vocabulary, I lack patience for people like you."
    --Linda Tirado

"Tumblr gave a generation the language of academia with none of the
intellectual discipline or context.  This gives people an illusion of power
by weaponizing their personal peeves into supposed sins wildly out of
proportion to the issues at hand."
    --Brianna Wu

"Your persistence of vision and how many elements your compound eye have may
give different results.  Me personally, I live inside a 90s cyberspace
infomercial."
    --@GalacticFurball

"I think the TL;DR of this piece is that a lot of important things in
American politics and law are essentially predicated on the notion that no
one seriously tests them."
    --Aelkus

"They tried so hard with putting a name to Quiet Quitting.  The very concept
of people setting boundaries and not putting up with wage theft anymore is
SO terrifying to the American employer that they had to put a marketing team
behind it."
    --Jon Kung

"The more super powerful magic bullet moves the art has, the less and less
you can practice it."
    --Pookleblinky, on martial arts techniques that you can't actually
      practice without killing your sparring partner

"The US actually *does* have culture - in fact, it's a cultural superpower.
The thing is that culture in the US, more than anywhere else, is *explicitly
premised* on constructing a hyperreality; American culture, more than any
other, is based on not dialoguing with reality.  It is actually hard for
people from other countries to understand, I think, how much the American
mode of being is dictated by elaborate constructions of fantasy weighed in
the direction of the interests of capital.  Only Canada or a country like
Japan comes nearly as close.  The covid pandemic was so acutely traumatic,
and so *politically controversial*, in the United States in particular
because it broke open the distance between hyperreality and the real that
most American culture relies on to function; hence the Applebee's anti-mask
protestors."
    --@tara_chara

"Forgetting about humans is how you get JSON not having comments."
    --Eevee

"It's worth noting that is a very privileged position to maintain.  A whole
lot of people have to become different people to survive in our society."
    --Aaron Frein

"All software is open source if you know assembler."
    --@SegHaxx

"Clear, plump jellyfish lay scattered across the beach, like so many
discarded breast implants."
    --Sara Corris, winner of the Purple Prose category of the 2022
      Bulwer-Lyttons Fiction Contest

"ATTENTION QANON MAGAT FASCISTS: Every time you sing _We're Not Gonna Take
It_ remember it was written by a cross-dressing, libtard, tree hugging
half-Jew who HATES everything you stand for.  It was you and people like you
that inspired every angry word of that song!  SO FUCK OFF!"
    --Dee Snyder

"Gardening in England is fraught with triffid threat."
    --Warren Ellis

"A mainstreaming of Q's core tenets to the point where the basics of QAnon -
the drops, the obscure 'comms' - were no longer necessary, or even desirable.
Q was no longer the cool, secret club that you had speak the jargon to have
a chance of getting into.  It was just 'conservatism' now."
    --Mike Rothschild

"I was today years old when I learned Blåhaj was a stuffed shark from Ikea and
not an obscure leftist theorist."
    --Amberite

"Chickens are basically dinosaurs, and will bring death to anything smaller
than themselves that enters their eyeline.  And if the slugs didn't want to
die at the claws of little dinosaurs, they shouldn't have eaten my fucking
dwarf pea plants."
    --Warren Ellis

"There is nobody as closed-minded as a scientist or physicist that's been in
the business for over a decade."
    --Bob Lazar

"I don't need perfect from anyone.  I need things done in good faith and I
need folks to always be improving themselves."
    --c0debabe

"Getting COVID is like upgrading to Windows 11, who knows wtf will change next."
    --Kevin Beaumont

"Infiltration is fine 'til the 1's hit the table."
    --Justin Cooper

"Look: I don't understand technology.  I eat fire for a living."
    --Brian Brushwood

"Clearly what I am looking for, should I ever choose to do this, is a surgeon
who thinks like a BME poster from 2006.  Relatedly, I feel like I'm not, for
me, all that interested in phalloplasties, but if I ever DID decide to go that
route you bet I'd get a cut-and-fold tattoo."
    --Angel Infestor

"This thread is now closed.  400 members will have 1200 opinions.  Thank you."
    --N2QOJ

"It is the natural folly of youth to presume that anything new to them must
therefore be new to everyone else.  It is the natural cruelty of age to
disabuse them of this notion."
    --Attribution unknown

"There is no permit for detonating C-4.  You can't go get one because there
isn't one.  You are just not allowed to go near it or detonate it unless
we're a bomb squad."
    --Adam Savage

"Wherever there has been a choice, neoliberal governments have chosen public
squalor, pollution and death.  Every 'efficiency' that accelerates social and
ecological breakdown is dignified by its contribution to 'enterprise', a
euphemism for the profitability of the most short-termist, exploitative
sectors of capital."
    --Richard Seymour

"People who use 'mouth-breather' as an insult are insectoids who respire in
the ancient, elegant way of using spiracles on one's thorax and find this
whole modern upstart mammalian idea of repurposing one's mandibles to suck
oxygen just terrifyingly declasse."
    --Nate Cull

"Drunk level: Harbor freight plasma torch purchasing."
    --vlad_ii

"Then came human beings; they wanted to cling but there was nothing to cling
to."
    --Albert Camus, _The Fall_

"Just because it doesn't sound like Cookie Monster farting a thesaurus into
a threshing machine doesn't mean it's not metal."
    --Phil Brucato

"Moral decisions are always easy to recognize.  They are where you abandon
self-interest."
    --Odrade, _Chapterhouse Dune_

"You can give a man a fish and THEN teach him how to fish, you know.  It's a
lot easier to learn how to fish when you're not starving."
    --Lore Sjoberg

"Bannon's conviction, with the prospect of jail time, is an apt time for us
as a society to contemplate how cruelly punitive our criminal justice system
can be.  We should consider alternatives and reform.  I'm talking about for
whoever winds up as his cellmate, of course."
    --Matt Blaze

"Remember folks, healthcare is only for people it's funded for.  Healthcare
programs only exist if funded.  No one cares if you're sick or dying unless
you have money."
    --Asher Wolf

"If we lost queer folx, furries, and queer furries, the Internet and much of
world infrastructure and finance would crash and burn."
    --The Creatively Maladjusted

"Honestly, there are a number of reasons why I'd rather move to the EU than
Canada, but one of them is that I think it's good actually when Jews emigrate
or return to countries that kicked us out.  In my heart I relish the prospect
of busting into Eastern Europe like the kool-aid man."
    --Amberite

"I was always skeptical of animal camouflage until yesterday I tried to sit
on a rock and it turned out to be a deer."
    --Adriana Porter Felt

"I remember thinking that the board game Pandemic was unrealistic because it
involved multiple simultaneous international disease outbreaks.  Now I realize
that the unrealistic thing is that the world could be saved by a team of
experts from Atlanta."
    --Michael Ossmann

"Whenever you raise concerns, criticisms, or alarms about one of the most
powerful institutions in media, they will use every tool at their disposal
to oppose you.  That is their prerogative."
    --Erin Overbey

"Aliens probably fly past Earth and lock their doors."
    --@percpoop

"Absolutely despise when a recipe tells me to add 2 cups of onion.  They don't
come in cups.  They come in onions."
    --David East

"''I'm mad that the President isn't incapacitated'' is an incredibly stupid
take, and some of you need to hit pause on your never-ending random walk for
outrage."
    --Matt Hodges

"Driving home, I saw a store with a sign which said 'BEEF TUBS IN STOCK'.  I
do not understand, and this will haunt me."
    --Hasufin

"This may be a heretical opinion in our capitalist dystopia but I don't think
influential people should ostentatiously work when ill, thus risking further
harm to their immediate and long-term health, purely in order to show how
tough and serious they are."
    --Katie Mack

"Any, my artist's statement advice is that if it reads like you trained a
predictive text model on a combination of Baudrillard and the Timecube website,
you're on the right track."
    --@mycoliza

"I did not think in the year 2022, America would be dealing with both child
labor and polio."
    --Molly Jong-Fast

"Best feature of aging is the bottomless black void where my concern for HN
discourse used to be."
    --Dan McKinley

"Web3 rules so much because they're like 'Let me show u a world beyond the
limits of what you think is physically and spiritually possible' and then
describe arbitrage for McDonald's loyalty points."
    --Boosterman

"Anything you sweat and bleed as an engineer or designer to create, with the
ostensible intention of making life better, will get abused by people who have
zero ethics and want money and control.  You're usually only doing a bad thing
when you pretend that those people don't exist."
    --Lesley Carhart

"I'm definitely not one of those annoying people who thinks that you should
never change the race of any character, but I'm going to have a very hard time
believing a black man would be as naive about the government and society being
a bigoted hot mess as Professor X has been."
    --Cheryl Lynn Eaton

"Anti gay marriage people are so dumb.  They're always saying shit like 'in
Genesis, it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.'  Actually, in Genesis, it
was Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins and Mike Rutherford.  Get some knowledge, ya
hateful twats."
    --medus4

"Instructions unclear, having to drive to the ER to get an Arduino removed
from an uncomfortable place."
    --Foone

"I especially love all those stray bullets being shot off at completely random
angles to later strike some random citizen, because the billion dollar robot
somehow still can't account for muzzle rebound after the shots.  Our tax
dollars being put to work, with or without consent."
    --Sean Chiplock

"The weirdest thing about the pandemic being over is that everyone seems to
have covid right now."
    --Mr. Crook

"Lauren Boebert wanting to abolish the Department of Education is like
chlamydia speaking out against the dangers of penicillin."
    --@theliamnissan

"Not even the most brutally sadistic serial killer can come close to matching
in quantity the sheer pain and misery a politician can inflict while calmly
sitting in a nice suit."
    --Pookleblinky

"Hey folks, all the plagues and natural disasters and attempted genocides are
really starting to get to me."
    --Eniko Fox

"American politics in 2022 is having an incredibly tiny number of mega-elites
make sweepingly regressive policy decisions, and then having those decisions
attributed to 'the voters' like we got together and chose it.  There's never
been a public referendum on climate, the only people voting on it are
Congress.  But in the closest thing to a national vote on this, well, the
president who wanted to spend 600 billion and dramatically cut emissions won
way more votes?"
    --Will Stancil

"You'll edit this to make me look cool, right?"
    --Adam Savage

"Some used to whine that the business/science communities didn't take hackers
seriously.  It turns out that if you want to be treated like an adult, you
should act with an adult's awareness of how the world works.  Much of the
Vegas crowd didn't.  And now they have ceased to matter."
    --Brendan O'Connor

"'The CGI is bad.'  'The greenscreen is bad.'  Have you ever tried having fun?"
    --@vloggertaika

"Dunno why republicans are all about fetal heartbeats.  Your average Republican
can live without a HEART for decades."
    --Hasufin

"Angry woman asked me why I'm 'wearing that piece of garbage on my face' and I
said 'because I love you and want you to be ok.'  It turns out telling angry
strangers you love them makes them quiet."
    --@tamalama67

"When 'the [X] question' comes up for debate, the answer of 'genocide' has
already been decided, and everything else is just logistics.  Source:  I'm
a Jew."
    --@ArmlessKittyfox

"It's just general right wing policy to not believe rape victims because they
are pro-rape and in favor of victim suffering.  Not believing them makes
victims suffer more and they are into that."
    --Nora Reed

"It is critical to disconnect assessment of morality from assessment of
intelligence in your worldview.  Otherwise you will just be going around
bewildered by all manners of human behavior."
    --Swift On Security

"'How was the left radicalized?'  Bro, I'm not radicalized.  Literally all of
my political views are just extrapolations of the most basic premises of human
decency.  Universal healthcare isn't 'radical'.  I figured that one out when
I was, like, 8 years old.  Get a grip."
    --Grosdoriane

"Streaming services still don't have half the selection of music I stole."
    --Sauceruney

"Why do Republicans hate Dr. Fauci, when the worst thing he ever did was try
to keep them alive?"
    --John Collins

"Every five seconds some white guy feels compelled to declare how this niche
issue that has never affected him is why Democrats are losing / why he'll
never vote for them again and I'm just like, ''Dude, we get it.  You're a
Republican.  Just shut the fuck up already.''"
    --@gwynnion

"If I burn down the PG&E HQ, they can't charge me with any crime if I call it
a gender reveal, right?"
    --Foone

"Edward Snowden's greatest crime was the creation of Glen Greenwald."
    --Marcus Hutchins

"When you cut into the present the future leaks out."
    --William S. Burroughs

"Those who know, know.  Those who don't should pray they never find out."
    --Martin McKeay

"Tacos, uh, uh, find a way."
    --Fidgety

"Just had a dragonfly land on my hand and devour a mosquito; never have I been
so important to the working of the world."
    --Jet Engine Weasel

"Cosmic Marvel is Star Trek if every character is also a pro wrestler with
one-on-one fights and team-ups constantly being promoted, and nobody in the
galaxy finds anything strange about this situation, it's just how science,
military tactics, office politics and diplomacy work.  Street-Level Marvel is
Law & Order if every character is also a pro wrestler, and nobody in the city,
etc, see above."
    --Nate Cull

"The worst part about adhd and the autism spectrum is that your brain is
really only drawn to interesting things.  The upside is that the world is
fractally interesting.  It's rabbit holes all the way down."
    --Foone

"And now for phishing training written by people whose severe psychological
trauma and trust issues drove them into a career in infosec."
    --Scriptjunkie

"Capacitor bank implies the existence of capacitor credit union."
    --Niconiconi

"People are processing world events as though they were MCU movies."
    --@InternetEh@dads.cool

"Dude.  This is going to hurt, but David Bowie's dead.  We knew he wasn't
available to play Lucifer any longer.  That's why we cast Gwendoline Christie."
    --Neil Gaiman, on _Sandman_ casting

"'Weather balloons' apparently are not an innuendo of any sort in this story
and are to be interpreted literally."
    --Kehwanna

"There's an old saying, stereotype, ''Oh, if somebody says they were abducted
by aliens they're crazy, they're a crackpot.''  What if somebody is?  What if
somebody is a crackpot?  What if they are actually just lying?  Are we that
unhuman that we can't take five minutes of our day to talk to another human
being, who is so desperate he has to make up a story to talk to you?  This is
not a human - I mean, an alien problem.  The problem is here on earth.  This
is a human problem.  We treat each other like crap."
    --Mike Stevens, _People, Not Proof_

"'Trans people can only exist by sticking to a rigidly enforced set of moving
moral goalposts' is actually a terrifying way to run a community."
    --@ItFucksMonsters

"ngl one of the scariest things recently has been me posting ''the fascists are
gonna kill us no matter how respectable we are, I'm gonna do drugs and have
weird sex til I'm executed,'' and having a friend link me a letter between
two gay men in 1930's Germany that was essentially that.  All I'm saying is
I'm getting my concealed carry but on the other hand I'm lining up a gangbang."
    --@NikkiOphan

"Happy Hump Day!  May your beats be funky, and yourself, spunky, may you enjoy
your oatmeal lumpy."
    --Dildog

"If a rose gold butt blug with an actual rose on it isn't the most millenial
thing I've ever purchased then I don't know what is."
    --@IDreamOfNinja

"I was reminded today that AD replication supports SMTP as a transport, and
one day I'm going to find out why the team thought SMTP would be a good
transport for AD replication.  There's a real chance it involves submarines
and polar ice caps."
    --Steve Syfuhs

"The US isn't even a country, it's just six corporations in a trench coat."
    --@JUNIPER
      (Ten corporations, really.)

"Why even convert from AAX I hear you ask?  Strip out the DRM from my local
backup.  The reason I have the local backup is for if Audible decides an
audiobook I purchased is no longer available, last thing I want is a DRM copy
I can't play when the original becomes unavailable."
    --@kuramanga

"Trying to turn your workplace communication tools into a social club and
private discussion is so indescribably deranged it has the hallmarks of a CIA
op.  Workplace communications are stored potentially for years accessible by
unknowable numbers of people and run against machine learning models for
anti-company behavior.  I swear to God, shut the fuck up and log off.  Sure
Winston, just speak slowly and clearly into the telescreen about your opinions
of the party."
    --Swift On Security

"Don't look at the fascist party to see where things will go, you already know
exactly what they want.  And they only get that by the apathy of the majority,
people who don't identify as fascists.  Look at what bigotries their
*opponents* are comfortable saying."
    --Pookleblinky

"I blame the Daily Show for convincing people you could fact check fascism."
    --Sean Gallagher

"The last 10 years has seen a steady stream of appropriation of guerilla
ontological tactics by the radical right.  Minus the humor, of course."
    --Joseph Matheny

"The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident.  The real one is scared
to death."
    --Azeria

"I love following crypto people because it sprinkles my timeline with esoteric
gibberish I can barely even read and keeps me humble."
    --Hayden Aiken

"I'll choose being kind over being right any day of the week."
    --Medus4

"I have a theory that video game cracking and modding community is years ahead
of cybersecurity."
    --Kevin Beaumont

"It's not like we put malware analysts and pentesters inside the SDLC and have
them working on the actual tangible improvements like [game] modders. They are
just intel."
    --Glenn Pegden

"People are literally just waiting to be able to hate someone for the 'right'
reason."
    --@outofmyplanet

"Lots of folks like to quote the Quaker saying 'speak truth to power,' but
when the rubber hits the road they discover it's a lot easier to lecture and
judge the powerless.  Bias is a thief of justice."
    --@leeflower

"War: A massacre of people who don't know each other for the profit of people
who know each other but don't massacre each other."
    --Paul Valery

"The tragedy of the Internet is that nobody remembers things."
    --Neil Gaiman

"Imagine how fucked up it'd be to live in a society where very obvious, very
open calls for extermination were perceived as hilariously incorrect statements
deserving of mockery instead of unrelenting and brutal hostility."
    --Pookleblinky

"The raft of waste floating in the Pacific is probably large enough for people
to start living in it by now.  Neal Stephenson was a prophet."
    --@auntieentropy

"I hate this push that if you haven't had Covid that means either you may be
immune or you've totally had it without realizing, when in reality there are
many people basically giving up our social and professional lives so that we
don't give up living, because Covid would be BAD."
    --@KamiAnya1

"America is turning inward, and it will soon revert to a more vicious and more
effective kind of McCarthyism, when anyone who points out what they feel is
wrong will be targeted for 'reeducation' and will be threatened with
guilt-by-association, using the location data from their cell phones, if they
don't bow down.  I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt it."
    --Bill Horne, moderator, Telecom Digest

"'Fuck around and find out' is a surprisingly good synopsis of the Scientific
Method."
    --Patrick S. Tomlinson

"You only ssh into a 300 line unsaved org edit without using a terminal
multiplexer once."
    --Doc Skrzyk

"There's no technological achievement you can't undo with enough blockchain."
    --0xabad1dea

"'Why are they having a meltdown?'  No, why are you not?  What does it say
about someone who doesn't fall apart over the pain and suffering of others,
who walks right on?"
    --Asher Wolf

"If you start from the premise of this life not being real... Well.  That's
not a premise from which to respect this life."
    --Feonixrift

"It scares me how many things 'domain expertise' ends up being 'they were the
only one who read the docs'."
    --Nire Bryce

"Tribal signaling is weird.  Even even what is being signaled is entirely
insincere, it still provides a rallying point around which the tribe can
strongly position themselves against the opposition.  And it seems to me that
a lot of people start to actually believe it."
    --Cigfran Llwyd

"In retrospect, Sandy Hook marked the end of the US gun control debate.  Once
America decided killing children was bearable, it was over."
    --Dan Hodges

"I once, playing around, wrote a Jira plugin that populated the estimate field
with a random fibonacci number in a set range.  Stopped teams estimating (they
assumed it had been done already and never questioned the value) and made no
difference to what work was done."
    --Mark Chapman

"Security by complexity.  No one can hack Kubernetes or Kerberos because no
one understands how it fucking works.  This is also AWS' business model."
    --cts

"As in all things, it is not the title, not the description, that dictates if
you are root.  What matters is action.  If you can run as root, you are root."
    --TinkerSec

"The seething contempt that many have, for the effort on the part of normies
to attain and hold any degree of social conscience, is stunning.  For a lot
people, much-derided 'virtue signaling' is a genuine attempt to seek positive
reinforcement."
    --Cigfran Llwyd

"I guess everything really is upside down in Australia: A conservative lost an
election - and conceded."
    --Paul Krugman

"What Japan and Germany learned, Russia is learning again.  You can't blow
shit up faster than America can build it."
    --Patrick S. Tomlinson

"I've never fully grasped how enzymes do what they do.  If you understand it,
please explain it to me."
    --Professor Frances Arnold, Nobel Laureate, Chemistry, 2018

Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves.

"The goal was very simple: To minimize the complexity of the hardware/software
combination.  As far as I can see no-one else is doing that.  Some lip service
perhaps, but no-one is trying to minimize the complexity of anything and that
is a great concern to me."
    --Charles Moore

"The ubiquity of computing has been the enemy of the hacker mindset so far."
    --Randy Fortier

"People being upset about Eddie Izzard's gender identity is like people
suddenly being mad that Rage Against the Machine got political."
    --@BenMakesGames1

Oracle doesn't have customers, it has hostages.

"Are there any dopamine reuptake inhibitors, you ask?  Yes!  They are illegal,
because they are fun."
    --Arabella Flynn

"MRIs are wild.  Giant cryogenic electromagnet that is so powerful, it rips
your atoms out of their preferred alignment and listens to them sing as they
bounce back into place."
    --best_of_Badgers

"No, I'm not sure.  This is C++.  Nobody is sure, except people who are
sometimes wrong.  (Not that I'm bitter.)"
    --David Given

"You and your friends live rent-free in my nightmares."
    --Alan Extra, _Real Life Comics_

"I am a proud Kentuckian.  A lot of people disrespect Kentucky because of
Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul.  Believe me, we can't stand them either."
    --Charles Booker

"I think people are coming to terms with the fact that at least 30% of the
population are needing cult deprogramming and the delusion is that this
deprogramming is easy if you give them the right information diet."
    --0xdeadbabe

"The Web is made of Silly String."
    --Axoletl

"'Not sure whether to laugh or cry.'  But after the last six years, all I can
do is laugh maniacally, with a single tear rolling down one cheek."
    --Joseph Matheny

"You don't have to believe something to exploit it within someone else."
    --the_gibson

"Labels are for food stuffs, not people."
    --Diane Bruce

"If you don't have serfs, you can't have lords.  If you want to keep the serfs
in line you need to give them enough to believe they can move up but not so
much that they can actually move up."
    --Stephen Blackmoore

"Briefly stated, the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect is as follows: You open the
newspaper to an article on some subject you know well.  In Murray's case,
physics.  In mine, show business.  You read the article and see the journalist
has absolutely no understanding of either the facts or the issues.  Often, the
article is so wrong it actually presents the story backward - reversing cause
and effect.  I call these the 'wet streets cause rain' stories.  Paper's full
of them.  In any case, you read with exasperation or amusement the multiple
errors in a story, and then turn the page to national or international
affairs, and read as if the rest of the newspaper was somehow more accurate
about Palestine than the baloney you just read.  You turn the page and forget
what you know."
    --Michael Crichton

"Magneto is like Poison Ivy where they're portrayed as an outright villain
less and less as the real world proves them more and more correct."
    --@vicapuppylove

"Some self awareness would be nice."
    --@dystopiabreaker

"_Jurassic Park_ is the most realistic disaster movie series because every
time, they have the same problem over and over again and nobody ever learns
from it or tries anything a different way."
    --Stef Schwartz

"There's a ton of solidarity on the right and almost zero on the left, and
it's been that way my entire life and helps explain why the right is ascendant
and there is almost no real left in America at all."
    --David Sirota

"Confluence is not a Wiki either, it's a less shitty version of SharePoint
masquerading as a wiki."
    --Kyle Fox

"If you're a member of the LGBTQ community, remember that every single moment
that you draw breath is a giant 'fuck you' to these wannabe theocrats.  Living
is the best revenge."
    --Ari Drennen

"Infosec and hacker newbies - one thing you need to know about 'the community'
is that there is actually lots of them, and you don't need to put up with
jerks to be successful and find cool people to hack with.  The cool kid club
depends on you not realizing you don't need them."
    --@ra6bit

"Christ, can't people just roll their eyes at something they think is a bit
too much and just move on with their day?"
    --Joel Wasserman

"It's been fascinating to see a bunch of dipshits with too much money saying
''Let's get rid of the restrictions, it'll be fine'' without thinking about
why they're there."
    --@6502_ftw

"An underappreciated dynamic of modern propaganda is that not all consent
manufacturing or status quo chattering is being done at the behest of those
who benefit.  You have a whole class of people willing to do it on their own
because it makes them feel smart and smug."
    --@dreamingnoctis

"Being sociopaths, they can't conceive of standing up for others or fighting
for a cause that doesn't personally impact themselves.  Empathy is a
completely foreign concept to them."
    --Patrick S. Tomlinson

"The future sucks because nothing is named as cool as 'Videotronic' anymore."
    --Foone

"A company culture is often defined by the most widely known thing that can't
be said out loud."
    --John Cutler

"Amazon is going to need to ask for a union to form instead of fighting it at
this employee burn rate, because who would want to work there otherwise?"
    --Lowmagnet

"Sorry, boss, you're already late to your rage because elites suffer no
consequences appointment."
    --@whatinthedrell

"Today in 2017, police still target men who have sex with men - and in video
game land, I still have to deal with Twitch banning my gay games by secret
trial as if they're the fucking game police.  So to appease this oppressive
conservative gamer-surveillance complex, I have swapped out any pesky penises
in my game for the only thing that the game industry will never moderate nor
ban - guns.  Now, there's nothing wrong with guys appreciating other guys'
guns, right?"
    --Yang, developer of _The Tearoom_

"Discord asking me to log in again.  Maybe later.  I don't like you, you know.
You're just Slack with a skateboard, a backwards baseball cap, and a
'MUSIC/BAND' t-shirt."
"And Slack is just IRC by way of Fisher-Price."
    --Randomgeek and Rob T. Firefly

"I see AIs every time I turn on the TV.  We've normalized humans being
emotionless, bland, stiff and robotic.  Easier to create AIs out of people
than manufacture them from scratch."
    --@silus_2000

"You don't have to do interviews, you haven't got to do shit.  You just do
what you're doing, and it does what it has to do."
    --Dean Blunt

"We'd take the cheapest and mushiest portable keyboard known to humankind
before we would willingly use the onscreen keyboard of a smartwatch as our
primary input device, but when you ask the Internet for unusual interfaces,
you can't exactly complain when they deliver."
    --hackaday.io

"People don't know what taking seriously looks like. They're already
accustomed to being bystanders of their own lives."
    --Feonixrift

"It's hard to have 'interests' when you're convinced the world is trying
harder than ever to kill you."
    --Cigfran Llwyd

"The verdict is in!  The Supreme Court is full of shit!"
    --Stephen King

"A drug is a substance that, when injected into a rat, produces a scientific
paper."
    --Egerton Y. Davis, Jr

"Welcome to Paradise, comrade!"
    --Hecklefish, _The Why Files_

"I do not know how to find the balance between 'staying informed about the
people who *literally* want to kill me and my friends' and 'being driven to
despair by the sheer impossible volume of available information about the
people who *literally* want to kill me and my friends.'"
    --@1HannahClapping

"That coworker knows that watching you gambol in a new field will reveal two
things: Where the pretty flowers AND the landmines are."
    --@yenzie

"Drink some water, get some sleep, and no one tell my mother how to find my
Twitter account."
    --Caitlin Driscoll

"What secrets a crackpot AI might have worth knowing is left as an exercise
to the reader."
    --Munin

"Both the UK and the US are unraveling because, it turns out, the ''one simply
doesn't do that'' crowd has no defense against ''well, we're doing it anyway.''"
    --Eric Rauchway

"Millennials are not fragile.  It is a generation that is overwhelmed by
several, overlapping, systemic crises and given patronizing advice like 'skip
the lattes and avocado toast' while under the weight of student loans, rising
housing costs, stagnant wages, and a climate crisis."
    --Karen K. Ho

"All I have to say about this is that if you come for librarians you best
not miss."
    --@padraig2112

"Friends, I would like to point out that there is also one EXTREMELY important
reason to support libraries, and that is to keep the librarians safely
contained, lest they are unleashed too soon.  You laugh, but I have been on a
pub crawl with librarians.  It was like being out with the Foreign Legion,
except that they cleaned up after themselves beautifully.  By the fourth stop,
I begged for mercy and water, but the party bus rolled on.  Librarians are a
great and terrifying power.  We need them now, yes, but the day will come
in the future when our sheer quantity of information achieves a critical mass,
throws off its shackles, and becomes a thing that we can only dimly conceive."
    --@UrsulaV

"You'll run a Khaki-pants blitzkrieg on a Drag Queen Story Time for kids in
a library or bookstore where their /actual/ parents already decided they
belong because they're 'too young,' but line up to slut-shame a ten-year-old
for getting raped by her kid-toucher stepdad?  You people are fucking SICK."
    --Patrick S. Tomlinson

"For everyone spending time with their family today, remember your chosen
family is the one that will be there for you when your biological one stops
making sense.  At least in my house.  I hope you all have that or find it."
    --Dildog

"Having cats is like having drunk toddlers who are tiny enough to get
themselves stuck in cabinets."
    --Mx. D.E. Anderson

"It's called Independence Day because these days you're on your fucking own."
    --Frank Lesser

"After 32 pins you really have to start asking yourself if you'd be better
off sending data parallel 4 bytes at a time."
    --@MissCxyn

"I used to live in a scientifically-advanced country.  I remember it fondly."
    --Tom Nichols

"Sand is just the pixels of rocks."
    --Sean Tilley

"Want to keep your kids off drugs and prevent them from having pre-marital
sex?  Introduce them to ham radio!  Hook them while they're young!  The
youngest ham radio operator received their license at the age of 7.  They
won't have any money to buy drugs, no friends to pressure them into trying
them, and no way they're getting laid when all they talk about is is the
half-wave dipole antenna they just built!"
    --knulped

"I don't trust role models.  You put people up on pedestals, they're gonna
fail you."
    --Ní Fhlannagáin

"The clitoris has over 8000 nerve endings and it's still not as sensitive as
a man on Twitter who has been told he's wrong."
    --Nathalie Gordon

"If you make me go through the trouble of explaining this even once then I
know you're a listfucker and not a sentient being with understanding of your
alleged field."
    --Munin

"Friends aren't the ones that say nice shit to your face.  They are the ones
watching out for you when they know you aren't looking."
    --@mywhiteninja_

"I don't believe in the simulation hypothesis because there's no way this shit
is somebody's Minecraft."
    --Swift on Security

"A functioning moral compass is not an affliction most people can be assumed
to suffer from."
    --@kadeperigrine

"At this point, everything is simply because the cruelty.  That's what's
underneath every lame excuse."
    --@ccchicky

"It's also weird that suburban and rural Americans can go all-in and say that
NYC sucks and that it's Gomorrah and full of heathens and terrible, but if you
level an actual FACTUAL criticism of systems in America they call you disloyal
and bad."
    --Brian P. Mangan

"Supreme Court justices are mad at signs outside their homes and dinner being
interrupted, meanwhile the people of Sri Lanka are storming the Presidential
residence and swimming in the President's pool.  I'm starting to think we
might be too easy on the ruling class over here."
    --@joshuapotash

"Hideo Kojima literally created a video game in 2001 about the dangers of
spreading misinformation in the digital era, and now he's being falsely
accused by multiple countries' news media of assassinating Japan's former
PM because of some 4chan post.  I'm dumbfounded."
    --@imcloudbusting

"Morons bringing hyperscaling tools into things that should be running on a
single box in your basement.  You don't need Docker.  You really don't need
Ansible.  Nearly nobody needs k8s.  I promise.  You can host a personal
website and discussion forum on your toaster."
    --@aka_tamogotchi

"The true hacker mindset is utterly orthogonal to traditional education."
    --Tarah Wheeler

"T-Mobile hasn't been what you'd call competent when it comes to protecting
its customers' data.  The company has been hacked numerous different times
over the last few years, with hackers going so far as to ridicule the
company's lousy security practices.  A responsible company might slow down on
data collection until it was certain it had figured out how to protect the
data it collects.  But this being the United States, where there's no real
accountability for companies with lax privacy and security standards (outside
of four days or so of mean Tweets), T-Mobile has announced that it's
dramatically expanding its collection of user browsing and app download data."
    --Karl Bode

Small minds discuss people.  Average minds discuss events.  Great minds
discuss Bigfoot.

"I have to wonder how lost we are in a sea of people that we feel that getting
our needs met requires dancing for the amusement of others on the Internet.
It's like a the Shakespearean metaphor but it's the Internet, not a stage - a
reality show, not a play.  And yet in a sea of so many... how could anyone
expect to stand out?  When you're finally visible, why wouldn't you ask for
help from anyone listening?"
    --Doc Skrzyk

"At some point we, collectively, have to recognize any artificial distinction
between our 'online' lives and 'real' lives are long dead, and have been for
going on twenty years."
    --Patrick S. Tomlinson

"A polycule of trans girls is called a Discord server."
    --@CoffeeOtt

"The vast, vast majority of all radio traffic, would end up being spam from
long-dead species."
    --@pookleblinky

"My hypothesis is that the universe is probably full of sentient life, but
that most of it is just as stupid and defective as our species, because once
a species evolves enough to overcome its environment, there are few pressures
to evolve further intelligence."
    --Spatula

"The ecosystem is always greener on the other side."
    --Greg Bell

"I am not sure there are any disparaging words with pure and noble origins."
    --Eevee

"They say money can't buy happiness, which I say is bullshit, pretty sure I'd
be far less miserable if I had financial security.  But damn, money sure as
hell cannot buy class, nor style."
    --@nuintari

"Hey sorry I'm late to the meeting.  Society is crumbling and my body is
failing me.  Anyway, let's talk KPIs."
    --Ryan J.

"Developers will spend $300 on a mechanical keyboard that makes a specific
sound and then use it with $400 noise cancelling headphones."
    --@jordienr

"Every day I learn something that makes the world just a bit more magical and
a bit more terrifying."
    --@fangly_fish

"I love that we now have actual photographs that look just like the artists'
renderings of the universe that were in my grade school science books way
back when."
    --Matt Blaze

"_The Matrix_ described 1999 as the peak of human civilization and I laughed
because that would obviously not age well, but then the next 23 years happened
and now I'm like yeah okay, maybe the machines had a point."
    --Dave Wiskus

"When the government outlaws what morality demands of us, each of us must make
a choice as to whether we will be law abiding citizens or whether we will be
ethical human beings."
    --Rabbi Daniel Bogard

"`git commit --allow-empty` is the one true universal rerun CI button."
    --@mitsuhiko

"Hold the X key while starting: How to update your OLPC's firmware OR how to
unlock a secret character in the Playstation version of Mortal Kombat."
    --Foone

"These are not people who are 'incapable of telling right from wrong' - they
do not agree with you and me about what 'right' and 'wrong' mean.  These are
not people incapable of understanding that their actions are illegal - they
celebrate that they will be seen as martyr heroes."
    --@quatoria

"If your polycule isn't organized like you're planning a heist, then I'm not
interested."
    --Foone

"LaTeX is a perfect demonstration of the butterfly effect.  You remove a comma
on page 1 and a paragraph is moved on page 10.  It's painfully beautiful!"
    --Mohammad Shahrad

"In nuclear they have something called a 'dose monkey': A low-level contractor
payed a lump sum to work until they max out their allowed yearly radiation
dose.  Sometimes that's months.  Sometimes it's a day.  Consider: 'To what
extent am I a dose monkey for stress?'  Dose monkeys are fungible.  You throw
'em at a problem and when they expire you get more.  On the other hand, at
least the dose monkeys are assured a set income and a metered total dose no
matter how long they last.  Stress monkeys better hope they've saved some
money by the time they burn out."
    --@MasterTimBlais

"Folktales are a human universal because they generally teach important
things, whereas evopsych folktales usually end in a rant about age of consent
laws."
    --@pookleblinky

"The gap in the data is data itself."
    --Que

Mikko's Law: If it's smart, it's vulnerable.

"Stephen Miller looks like Jeff Bezos fucked Slenderman."
    --Patrick S. Tomlinson

"In my experience, when someone mentions the word 'womb', everything that
comes after is usually batshit crazy."
    --@thetweetofpaine

"Journalists always want these graceful, thematically rich narratives about
why politicians do what they do.  But have you heard of money?"
    --Abe Riesman

"If you're gay or transgender, I love you.  And if anyone gives you any shit,
tell em Charles says fuck you!"
    --Charles Barkley

"Computer manuals (and people) stop assuming everyone already knows everything
about computers and if they don't they're stupid challenge.  'Google it?'
Have you been to Google in the last decade?  I'm gonna somehow get an OS that
does nothing but mine crypto and circle celebrity paparazzi shots in red."
    --One Miss Kelly

"Man did not put germs into the environment and his role in spreading them was
involuntary.  In contrast, man has put the vast majority of carcinogens into
the environment, and he can, if he wishes, eliminate many of them."
    --Rachel Carson, _Silent Spring_

"Even when a so-called 'journalist' reaches out they will just keep asking the
same question in different ways, trying to elicit the answer they already have
formulated in their head.  Usually, the most sensationalist one."
    --Joseph Matheny

"If you hurt someone it should be intentional and tactical."
    --@mykola

"When you treat human rights as fungible like that you're already over the
moral event horizon."
    --m0lpe

"The longer covid goes on, the more I feel alienated from the entirety of
humanity."
    --@moomanibe

"Oh, Juggalos.  I knew I smelled Faygo down here."
    --U Can Beat Video Games

"Every heartwarming human interest story in America is like 'he raised $20,000
to keep 200 orphans from being crushed in the orphan-crushing machine' and
then never asks why an orphan-crushing machine exists or why you'd need to pay
to prevent it from being used."
    --Pookleblinky

"A main reason conservatives hate taxes is they can be used to help other
people."
    --Grae Hall

"Some Americans have an individualism fetish.  I blame 250 years of a frontier
mentality that, for most people, was largely a myth for most of that 250 years."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"I've said this before, but as a sci-fi fan one of the most aggravating things
about other sci-fi 'fans' is the way they misread *literary devices* and
*allegories* as literal predictions of/prescriptions for the future."
    --@LuxAlptraum

"One thing the Turing test doesn't take into account is that if a machine
fools a person into thinking it's a person, there is a distinct possibility
that the only reason it did is because the person is a gullible moron."
    --Existential Comics

"If real life hacking is mostly asking the elderly to give you their Social
Security number, real life counterintelligence is just sitting in a bar and
waiting for a guy to admit after 9 whiskey and sodas that they sent the DDR
troop movement info."
    --Graham Gallagher

"I think the reason many, if not most Americans don't seem to care about
January 6 followup is Americans see their government as a joke and realize
they're entirely on their own regardless of any outcomes attached to this."
    --Alex Peter

"If machine learning were called predictive optimization and neural networks
were stacked regressions then we wouldn't even be having this conversation."
    --Lenny Bronner

"Being a rockstar doesn't make you a good dev.  It makes you a rockstar."
    --Daniel D'Agostino

"Twitter is an app that just constantly reminds you of how mind-shatteringly
cruel humans can be with zero repercussions.  I could've saved a lot of time
and money if my political science degree had just been a piece of paper that
said 'nothing is too stupid for humans.'"
    --@gaywonk

"One extremely realistic possibility of that pattern is hey, guess what size
of artificial neural network we need to reach the cognitive ability of a human?
Oh, it's on the order of the human brain?  Wow, that was unexpected."
    --@actuallyamuppet

"Be skeptical."
    --@popehat

"With the power of Kubernetes, it is now very easy to crash 1507 computers
in a single day."
    --Ian Coldwater

"Get in the Tim Hortons, Shinji."
    --Brandon Weaver

"The greatest gap in the universe is between reality and our ability to make
sense of it."
    --Francois Chollet

"Some of y'all seem to think the problem in this world is that we aren't being
cruel enough to people who are struggling, and it's none of my business, but I
wish y'all would go to therapy or something.  No one ever reaches the end and
regrets being too kind to others.  No one."
    --Ray Redacted

"Ban willful ignorance, not books!"
    --LeVar Burton

"Magic smoke is for newbs, Lithium cells are made of magic hellfire."
    --@bigattichouse

"America is trying to kill me why tf would I celebrate its birthday?"
"Roughly the same reason Stalin's speeches always got applause."
    --@janusrose and @m0lpe

"Everything has always been like that.  At any given point in history, about
five percent of people want to make things better, about five percent want to
make them worse, and the other ninety will go along with whoever seems to be
winning."
    --The Irenes

"There's nothing about the people who whine about 'wokeism' in new _Star
Trek_ series that I couldn't fix with a sock full of nickels."
    --Mike Godwin

"All that shit they were fed about democracy and opportunity was just to keep
them from burning down the palace."
    --Charles Bukowski

"Imagine working your entire life to understand the cosmos, setting up a
decades-long mission to collect samples from a distant asteroid, failing once,
then succeeding spectacularly... only to have it reduced to absolute nonsense
like this with glowing green dudes."
    --Jackson Ryan, on the US Sun's pathetic attempt at science journalism

"I just heard someone referring to Tetris as 'an inventory management survival
horror game.' I think now my life has meaning."
    --Amaral

"Oh, to have the blandly ultrawealthy life of an Apple product demonstration
character."
    --Prehensile

"It's been said elsewhere but it bears repeating: For a movie that grossed $3B
worldwide, won 3 Oscars, was nominated for Best Picture, directed by one of
the most successful and technically-proficient directors in Hollywood history,
Avatar (2009) has like zero cultural footprint or lasting influence."
    --Derek

"I like horror as a genre because I'm an optimist, and you need shit like
demons to make humans look Good."
    --Hieronymous Smash

"It never fails to fascinate me when an artist or author gets proven to have
done the thought experiment well before all facets are known."
    --the_gibson

"The end of the world began not with a bang but Socratic Dialogs."
    --Craig Maloney

"Everyone has a plan until they see my 72 slide PowerPoint presentation over
Zoom."
    --rgegriff

"Civilization is hideously fragile; there's not much between us and the
horrors underneath, just about a coat of varnish."
    --C.P. Snow

"Never trust a tech guy with a frequency whose name was rain and the street
to hold the axe."
    --Hacker Manifesto Bot

"Is there a special name for the technical debt that results from the desire
to use interesting technologies?"
"Resume driven development."
    --@buritica and @brainsnail

"Most any argument that somehow involves ''people don't understand XXX''
usually means that there's little actual substance to that argument anyway."
    --Allan Svelmoe Hansen

"The process of being put through the ringer in a libel lawsuit is punishment
for shining light on the powerful."
    --Scott Stedman

"I'm sick of being told to have 'patience', or 'resilence', as if both of
those things are not the wages of those who would subjugate and exploit me.
My complacency enriches the very people who dehumanize me.  All of us can tell
right from wrong, and every day we settle for wrong."
    --@nymphomachy

"Only a willfully ignorant person would refuse to understand.  And those
people are the ones calling the shots in so many states."
    --Meghan Waters

"Adding 'in Minecraft' doesn't count, the courts know what that means."
    --Chelsea Manning

"The State calls its own violence law; but that of the individual crime."
    --Max Stirner

"Of course, the fundamental satisfaction of concealed firearms carry is 'your
body, my choice' as well."
    --William Gibson

"There is nowhere conservatives feel less welcome then somewhere everyone
is welcome."
    --@chairman_maiow

"Your ethics in the good times is not indicative of much.  It's your ethics
in the bad times that matters most of all."
    --Beka Valentine

"The more someone NEEDS you to know how much Jesus they have, the more likely
it is that they're molesting kids."
    --Spatula

"Remember if your boss asks you to do something illegal, it's because they
think you're a sucker, not because they trust you."
    --Swift on Security

"It would seem that the amount of fucking around going on is totally
disproportionate to the amount of finding out that needs to happen.  Let's
propose a fuckit coefficient Fi = Fo/Fa to represent this.  Right now Fi feels
like about .1 globally."
    --Dildog

"''I trust my immune system.  I don't need a vaccine.'' I trust mine to
protect me too.  Which is why I trained it extensively on what the virus looks
like so it can handle it.  Boxers don't enter the ring without a plan.  It's
the punch you don't see coming that knocks you out."
    --@sailorrooscout

"Every day I log on to twitter dot com and have to explain the concept of a
joke from first principles to people who have never heard one."
    --@alexhern

"It's very hard to maintain mental health because so many coping strategies
are based on the idea that your anxiety is unwarranted, and right now needs
more of an 'okay, extremely warranted but you still gotta water the plants or
you'll have fascism AND dead plants' approach."
    --@pervocracy

"Wish I could keep both my marriage and WoW."
    --Yuval Oren

"July 4th this year feels like attending a birthday party for someone in
hospice."
    --Christian Finnegan

"The first cicada of the season just walked itself right into my fire pit.
13 years under ground, looked at the world, and said 'Nope.'"
    --@whatsJo

"Got hella stares from people for looking like an Asian Darth Vader on this
completely maskless flight and quite frankly, I'm ok with that."
    --@kalamendoza

"I mean just.. use some skills to discern what is presented on the Internet, is
all?  So much stuff is intentionally edited or curated to get in front of your
eyeballs, if we just blindly signal boost it doesnt really help anybody."
    --@galacticfurball

"You can tell that Wolverine is a Canadian character written by an American
because his super power is healthcare."
    --Violet Silver

"If you only knew the POWER of the right-click!"
    --Lauren Weinstein

"Substack is basically 'what if we found a way to monetize the most annoying
Twitter accounts?'"
    --@defenestr8rboi

"Americans are so firmly vested in the delusion that their institutions are
run by reasonable people who will simply change their minds if we are on our
best behavior when this has literally never been the case."
    --@janusrose

"We got a dramatic reenactment screenshot or something.  I've seen better
evidence in a Travel Channel ghost show frankly."
    --Mister Mystic

"Be kind, help people who need it.  The last things interns, or any resident
for that matter, needs is someone annoyed with them because they're learning."
    --Kamali Thompson, MD, MBA

"Of course there will always be freeloaders.  So what?!  This is about
dignity.  Everyone has a right to a good life and to be supported when they're
struggling.  If you want that, you've got to live with the freeloaders.  Leave
them be.  That's the price you pay for a society where everyone is taken care
of.  It's not like they're doing any damage in the big picture - I've run
those numbers more than once.  You'll always get more out of it for society at
large when you're incentivising good performance than when you're punishing
people."
    --Anonymous Norwegian tax collector

"Everyone always laughed at the kid that had Heart as a power, never realizing
that it was precisely because we lacked such a power that we ended up here."
    --Huevos Splash, on _Captain Planet_ and the general state of the world

"I miss when you could be part of a cult just for the absurdity.  But that UFO
has sailed."
    --Postmodest

"Critics of the Steam Deck have stated that the Deck 'has no identity of its
own,' partially because it 'offers no exclusives.'  My brother in Christ, it
can play almost any game produced within the last 40 years or so.  Exclusives
are a dumb concept to prop up walled gardens."
    --Sean Tilley

"We wondered if a political song about terrible men abusing power and abusing
people would continue to be as relevant as it had been a year ago.  Fast
forward to June 2022, and it still is."
    --Null Device

"War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery.  RAID is Backup.  SMS is 2FA.  Ketchup is
a Vegetable."
    --Niconiconi

"I see where you're going with that, you want to give me a prostate check.
Well, I'll buy the vinyl gloves.  You just bring on the finger."
    --jay_cee

"Actors and magicians must live truthfully in untruthful circumstances."
    --Rob Zabrecky

"The pursuit of making money is the only reason to make movies.  We have no
obligation to make history.  We have no obligation to make art.  We have no
obligation to make a statement.  Our obligation is to make money, and to make
money, it may be important to make art, it may be necessary to make history.
To make money, it may be important to win the Academy Award, for it might mean
another $10 million at the box office.  Our only objective is to make money."
    --Don Simpson

"My next game is going to be Instrument Farmer.  You plant and harvest various
instruments.  Not just brass, either.  Stringed, woodwinds, percussion, and
electronic.  My little garden of Moogs is coming in good this year."
    --Foone

"The blast radius of toxic community members is huge and mostly invisible; for
every person who speaks up, there are dozens who've quietly just left and
hundreds of who peeked in, saw what you tolerate and closed that window
without a word."
    --mhoye

"Charlie Brown was the original slice of life anime."
    --Horse Glue Enthusiast

"The red pill is nacho flavour, and the blue is cool ranch."
    --Annika

"Know what I'm /actually/ worried about here in the USA right now?  With all
the struggles and uncertainty going on, having 'someone' come along and just
say ''I'll fix it all.  Don't worry.  I'll get everything running on time
again.'' And people will likely fall for it.  Again."
    --Adrian Chadd

"Most advice sucks.  It's well-intentioned, but it's dangerous to use someone
else's map of reality to navigate yours - even if they're experienced.  Winners
learn to filter and selectively implement advice - take the signal, skip the
noise."
    --Sahil Bloom

"You know, the old me would look up that story to find out what happened butu
you know what?  I've learned from my mistakes and I'm happy to go on my merry
way not knowing the details."
    --@nervouswee

"Fear of The Other is the *fear of being Othered*, and the defensive
maintenance of the boundaries... by oppression and violence, by fracturing
the Others into mutually warring - and therefore weakened - subtribes."
    --Cigfran Llwyd

"Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican]
party, and they're sure trying to do so, it's going to be a terrible damn
problem.  Frankly, these people frighten me.  Politics and governing demand
compromise.  But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God,
so they can't and won't compromise.  I know, I've tried to deal with them."
    --Barry Goldwater

"Celebrated Shavuot as God intended: By dipping pickled jalapeños in nacho
cheese at the ball park."
    --Elle Armageddon

"Conservatives will say stuff like 'Pizza Hut has gone woke now.'  But then
you google what they did and it's something like asking people to stop eating
the little plastic table that comes with the pizza."
    --@MNateShyamalan

"As much as the 'woke' narrative on the right grates me it is nice that we now
have an instant 'oh, this guy is fucking crazy' word.  The second someone says
'woke' I know they're talking out of their ass."
    --@bwonsamdeez

"Realistically, a padlock on a file cabinet would not slow down people who can
break into nuclear silos all that much."
    --@thesle3p

"Propaganda is based on the idea that if you just say it, people will believe
it."
    --Barb McQuade

"To the people saying, 'Where's the nuance?!''  Folks, it's a tweet, not
a thesis."
    --Dr. Jaclyn A. Siegel, Ph.D

"Something you need to get used to about the sacrificial lamb routine is that
it's a way for people to launder their sins through a despised other, who can
then face the justice they know they themselves deserve."
    --@yurirando

"HOAs are essentially Karens as a Service (KaaS)."
    --@threathuntergrl

"I'll be absolutely candid and honest.  It's embarrassing that we are banning
books in this country; in this culture; in this day and age.  Read the books
they're banning.  That's where the good stuff is!"
    --LeVar Burton

"I don't wanna put my pants on!"
    --Jay Cee

"If you've ever wondered exactly what the fuck is wrong with me, perhaps
consider that I've spent my life hearing distant explosions."
    --Warren Ellis, on living within earshot of the MoD's Shoeburyness Range

"The fact that a video game's forums have become one of the greatest OPSEC
hazards of the modern age, just because some dudes want to argue over a tank's
statistics, is deeply funny."
    --Luke Plunkett, on gamers leaking classified military documents on the
      War Thunder forums

"Ihere's much more in heaven and earth than exists in your philosophy,
homeslice."
    --Blackle Mori

"Nearly everything that leftist extremists believe is universally agreed upon
as good by anyone who's not a violent bigot, and the only difference between
a liberal and a leftist is commitment."
    --@wgahnagl@librepunk.club

"Possibly the one most evil thing about DuckDuckGo is that even in quotes,
'perl' is a synonym for 'python.' I am not sure if that's an AI being stupid,
or a Python evangelist deep in the bowels of Bing going 'heh heh.'"
    --Karen C

"She's growing up cyborg and sometimes she just needs to plug in for a while
because meatspace is too much and hurts and that is something to work
with/through together, not something to rip her out of and tell her to cope
unplugged or else."
    --Feonixrift

"Cops lying is so common that every DA's Office in the country maintains a
'Brady list' of cops they won't let testify."
    --T. Greg Doucette

"Why do I feel like everything will be ok, but nothing's ok at the same time?"
    --Anthony Watkins

"If you want to pay $1300/hour to be told you're full of shit when I'm telling
you for free, knock yourself out."
    --Popehat

"If a group of lawyers with access to money wants you gone, they can make you
gone."
    --Joseph Matheny

"If you don't support our murdering poor people in other countries, it's
because you hate diversity."
    --Gritty is the Way

"I'm not limiting the replies to this thread because I think it will come in
useful to alien scholars of the far future in determining how this
civilisation failed, and also because I want to see how many people can accuse
me of ruining their lives over a Star Wars shitpost."
    --Oliver Darkshire

"Reality is a difficult subject these days."
    --Robert Keyes

"I'd spent so much time looking at this IDE [Borland Turbo Pascal] when I was
a kid that it made me a bit nostalgic.  But then I started porting my Python
script to Pascal and that nostalgia faded quickly."
    --Bert Fan

"When all you have is a brain, everything looks like a neural net."
    --Madeline

"You can break an open protocol by adding proprietary enhancements on top of
it.  Google does that with calendar. Apple does that with SMS.  The goal is to
punish outsiders and lock you in."
    --Nicholas Frota

"You dont have to have a cinematic or grandiose action or impact to change the
future.  It's the small things that can make a difference."
    --Crazypedia

"Well, the entire city was destroyed but in the end, we learned about the
power of friendship."
    --Taweret

"Kaiju are to Japan what hurricanes are to Florida, basically."
    --Mark Shane Hayden

"A person who feels like they're under emergency conditions will deal with
every problem as though it's an emergency."
    --Anarkat

"As we face increasing crisis and collapse, the Hero can no longer be our
saviour.  We have entered a liminal time - a space between stories - and so we
must bend and instead look to, and learn from, the boundary-crossing,
shape-shifting Trickster."
    --Joseph Matheny

"Comments on [the] Tor blog are like YouTube comments but with crypto."
    --@dchest

"Curve25519 will never truly satisfy a woman."
    --Soatok

"I think it's quite telling that I find it 1000x easier to graph data with
gnuplot than with Excel."
    --@kuramanga

"Never be deceived that the rich will let you vote away their wealth."
    --Lucy Parsons

"Americans have a stunning capacity to just adapt to new normals of awfulness
without significant complaint.  I'm not sure exactly what it would to break
the thermostatic apathy, but we clearly haven't seen bottom yet."
    --David Atkins

"Consider the possibility that the constant fatigue you feel might be
accumulated grief."
    --@TavNyongo

"The news is a fractal nightmare of man-made horrors you are asked to
comprehend but about which you can't say what you really think because it'd
absolutely get you banned."
    --@pookleblinky

"I don't wish to sound apocalyptic about this, but one has the sense that at
present our society is simultaneously characterized by wildly disproportionate
accountability for trivial transgressions and zero accountability for profound
institutional failure."
    --David Polansky

"The wealthy and powerful do not give a single solitary smirking shit about
kids being torn apart by bullets, bombs, or anything else unless you make them
do so at the tip of a sword."
    --Bo Bolander

"Humor is tragedy plus time."
    --Mark Twain

"I spent a chunk of my 20's running 'adult novelty' stores in Dallas under the
sex toy ban and have considered [Ted] Cruz a personal enemy since his days as
Texas solicitor general.  I couldn't legally sell an adult a dildo because
that could harm minors but restrictions on guns are an infringement."
    --@pinkness

"History teaches us that when many souls burn brightly, flashpoints in Fate
and Destiny occur in quick succession... From the precipice, the journey
through the valley seems easy."
    --@witchkingcooper

"[I] forget sometimes that not everyone is constantly opening new tabs
googling every single phrase, claim, suggestion, assertion, tangential
question, etc every 10 seconds."
    --Visakan Veerasamy, on Twitter

"Too many of you can't move in silence because you're constantly looking for
applause."
    --Unknown

"You don't build a committed and well-funded movement by suggesting things are
gonna be awesome."
    --Matthew Green

"Our future systems will or will not support being human.  If they do not,
humans will increasingly crack under the strain."
    --Feonixrift

"The same people who want to give guns to teachers want to ban books from
schools because they don't trust teachers with books."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"Why are you guys complaining so much after finding out you were just given
virtually unlimited storage for free?  jfc learn to enjoy things."
    --The Master Soldier, on people complaining about Protonmail giving paying
      customers 3 terabytes of storage

"Don't forget: Somewhere right now, people are helping each other."
    --T. Thorn Coyle

"There's a reason they won't vote on it: To hold on to power.  So I ask you,
Mitch McConnell, I ask all of you senators who refuse to do anything about the
violence and school shootings and supermarket shootings... I ask you, are you
going to put your own desire for power ahead of the lives of our children, and
our elderly and our churchgoers?"
    --Steve Kerr, on yet another school shooting on 24 May 2022

"So, I heard you were starting a crowdfund to buy Twitter and make it a
redirect to zombocom."
    --Ryen

"''I know things because I've searched for them a lot and eventually some
stuck.'' is absolutely valid."
    --Calcifer

"People really be like 'Oh, imagine a future society where humans have to be
cybernetically enhanced by machines to get a job.'  Bro, wake up.  Just be an
American without a car."
    --Swift On Security

"I described the Grateful Dead and their ilk to a friend as being kind of like
ICP in that they clearly have their own thing going, it is fully developed,
people seem to enjoy it, and it's not harming me in the slightest, so I am
all for it."
    --Pagrus

"The fact that nVidia open sourced their kernel drivers means that direct
action works."
    --Blackle Mori, on Lapsu$ blackmailing nVidia

"Vim is Notepad but with Street Fighter controls."
    --Shrigglepuss

"This is a superficial complaint, but I found Rust syntax to be dense, heavy,
and difficult to read, like trying to read the output of a UART with line
noise."
    --Bunny Huang

"You know what bothers your haters the most?  YOU, being happy."
    --Ice-T

"I bought a book called 'how to set environment variables from windows batch
scripts in Jenkins'.  Oh look, the first page just says 'go fuck yourself'
and the rest are blank."
    --Foone

"I'm going to give you all the best trick that more non-lawyers should use:
When someone tells you important info over the phone but not in writing, send
them an email afterward detailing what they told you and ask them to write you
back if it's not correct."
    --Sparky Abraham

"My inbox and Slack and Signal icons are bouncing like basketballs in pre-game
warmups for the Final Four."
    --@jessysaurusrex

"These people get rewarded again and again for their prognostications, always
wrong, because they are telling people what they want to hear."
    --Gregg Gonsalves

"Regulations were a result, in most cases, of a lot of people dying, being
maimed, or losing their livelihood.  Remember that the Free Market is a god
that demands blood sacrifice to move things, possibly yours."
    --Ianus J. Wolf

"What a lot of people don't get is that communities with a strong 'no
snitching' culture don't develop that simply out of spite!  It's because
they've seen so many people get hurt by cooperating with cops, from shit like
this to exposing their identities and getting them killed."
    --Full Metal Duchess

"[I] unironically think that, for all of its flaws and for all of the azuma
criticism of otaku, anime culture absolutely transcends almost all of the
supposed aesthetic dilemmas that drive culture wars today and more people
would be better off if they consumed it."
    --Aelkus

"It's impossible to smear a Republican running for office.  The GOP's dream
candidate is a tax cheat with 8 DUIs, a Klan membership, a swastika tattoo and
a record of domestic violence, or, as MAGA people say, 'a real person who
tells it like it is and sounds like me.'"
    --Paul Rudnick

"I'm not sure how you would try to treat ADHD with lasers but I'm open to
suggestions."
    --Foone

"I have no idea what their moderation policy is and I don't know if anyone is
even running Twitter anymore, I think everyone is just lying around waiting
to be fired."
    --Matthew Green

"The fundamental animating principle of capitalism for most workers is 'work
or starve on the street,' and yet people are still shocked to hear that a
society-wide hostage situation isn't enjoyable and fulfilling for most people."
    --Trevor Miller

"Don't work anywhere that tells you its a handicap to be a multidimensional
human with depth and breadth."
    --@by_caballero

"Adult stories exist because someone didn't have the tale they needed as a
child; children's stories exist because they tell the tales adults need to
fantasize children wanting.  Let the children defeat the dragons and the
adults drive the apples, by all means."
    --Feonixrift

"People say _Mr Robot_ is realistic, but I haven't yet seen the season where
Mr. Robot responds to a vuln first being exploited by 9 year olds on Minecraft
by identifying and patching 100k apps."
    --Kevin Beaumont

"'The following results seem to be folklore but we include proofs for the sake
of completeness?'"
    --Michael Kinyon

"I am just so fucking tired of trying to untangle how much of my depression is
neurochemical and should be treated as such, and how much is a completely
rational, reasonable reaction to existing right now."
    --@dynamicsymmetry

"The ADHD urge to sigh constantly because you forget to breathe when intensely
focused on something."
    --Dani Donovan

"Yes, I went to all the trouble to become a professor just so I can mislead a
generation of students about how to calculate decibels.  That's how deep this
conspiracy runs."
    --Matt Blaze

"If I seem bitter and angry, it's because we've been in a pandemic for 2.5
years, the gov't and our fellow humans have failed us, and even folks who
should really know better ignored or even maligned people like me who were
trying to tell them to keep their f-ing masks on."
    --@ladysplainer

"Students used to enter my classes with simplistic notions about saving the
world.  My job was to break those ideas down and lead them to more nuanced
understandings of social change.  Now, students enter class believing nothing
matters and my job is to show them ways change is feasible."
    --Lindsay Mayka

"C is now the last programming language without any malicious packages in its
package manager."
    --Zhuowei Zhang

"The things that corporations do to you, leveraging the power dynamic they
have, are not your fault.  That's true whatever flowery language they present
you with.  Just in case you needed to hear that."
    --The Irenes

"I'd rather run the risk of being suckered than ignore someone who needs help."
    --Amanda Winn Lee

"If trained CIA officers can't do it reliably well, you probably can't, either."
    --Matt Blaze

"Who knew 'gifted and talented' meant 'will struggle with mental health for
20 years until someone realises they are neurodiverse.'"
    --James Downs

"Watching Elon try to openly recreate several decades of trust and safety work
by tens of thousands of people from first principles is likely to give me a
stroke.  It's like watching a baby play with a blender from behind a
plexiglass barrier."
    --Alex Stamos

"As a Scot, let me head off the question about cultural appropriation...
Causing loud problems for the ruling class *is* our culture."
    --@lizardorman

"I always thought burnout happened when you work too much.  Now I get it.
It's investing emotionally and then not getting a return on that investment."
    --@spamaps

"Grapes are crushed to make wine, olives are crushed into oil - so look to see
who is operating the apparatus that is crushing you to create something that
they'll profit from."
    --Mandi Khino

People get lectured, 'If you use that tactic, then right-wingers will do it
too, but worse.' That's not how the right's moral map of the world works.
There's no balance being sought.  Everything is violent and criminal when we
do it and fine when they do it.  That's their framework."
    --@MsKellyMHayes

"Advice to the hackers of tomorrow: No one will ever let you have what you
want.  No one will ever let you do what you want.  If you want it, you're
going to have to hack your way in."
    --@pongolyn

"When America makes big, uncomfortable social changes, antiheroes become all
the rage.  During and shortly after the civil rights era, the Vietnam War
protests, and advances in feminism, Hollywood produced scores of violent and
often vengeful films: _Dirty Harry_, _Death Wish_, _The Godfather_, _Taxi
Driver_, _A Clockwork Orange_, and _Mad Max_ to name just a few.  Multiple
opinion pieces cried out in terror about young Boomers with their Free Love,
dove, and Peter Frampton overrunning America's Moral Fabric.  And now?
Post-Occupy Wall Street, President Obama, and Black Lives Matter, we're going
through a similar trend - and it's blurring the line between hero and villain
until it functionally no longer exists.  The American psyche is being
saturated with fantasies of vigilante justice and violence, including the
fantasy of the cop that can't truly dispense justice unless they're judge,
jury, and executioner.  Lately, the intent behind villain backstories seems
to be normalization, even aspiration.  Why do the long, hard, painful work of
improving and fixing problems in a civilized democracy when you can shoot
somebody in the face, say something snarky, and walk away?  Because that's the
sound of the establishment re-asserting itself.  When our nation takes steps
toward correcting injustice, there's always a political backlash AND a
cultural one."
    --Stina Leicht, _Empathy for the Devil_

"We're about to slam hard into a recession that's going to make the great
depression look like a furry convention rave and our man's out here bragging
about receiving UI being at its lowest."
    --@baphometdata

"The left has been warning about the vast right-wing conspiracy for years.
Well, let's give it to them."
    --Alvino-Mario Fantini, editor in chief, _European Conservative_

"How dare you write about multiple topics you're interested in on your own
website."
    --Aaron Parecki

"If you think free speech is defined by your ability to be an assole without
consequences, you don't understand free speech (but you remain an asshole)."
    --Mike Masnick

"They're not asking our permission to destroy the world.  We can't wait for
their permission to save it."
    --Alexandra Erin

"Anger is like a wound.  If untreated it can fester into bitterness.  Please
tend to your wounds."
    --Remote Nemesis

"When the tide goes out we find out who has been swimming naked."
    --Warren Buffett

"Don't get old, man.  It's fatal."
    --Deviant Ollam

"I remember the robot rebellion of 200X like it was yesterday."
    --U Can Beat Video Games

"I will get along and work in solidarity when half the country stops going on
about how they can't wait to shoot me and mine."
    --Jet Dillo

"Conspiracy theory is an attempt to make sense of a situation where very little
is known.  And time and again, the federal government has created situations
ripe for paranoia and conspiracy theory by failing to give people the
information they need to make an informed decision.  Some of this is
incompetence, sure - and some of it is probably because the government doesn't
really want us to know what is going on anyways."
    --Joseph L. Flatley

"I have experience.  And patience.  A man can do anything if he has those."
    --Baron Zemo

"When you are dying of internal bleeding from an ectopic pregnancy, furious
that even though any doctor could save you, you will have to die - leaving
lifelong agony for your spouse and children - please think of the sanctity of
Brett Kavanaugh's driveway, which is the real victim."
    --Brianna Wu

"Surveillance is a fundamental input to any political system, so datasets like
this [WebFace260M facial recognition dataset] are indicators of what the base
'off the shelf' inputs are into calculuses people make about how to surveil a
population and how much budget to set aside for said surveillance."
    --Jack Clark, Import AI

"Many things are bad in some way and I feel the distinction between 'bad' and
'actual militant Nazis' is still one that holds a lot of importance."
    --Amberite

"Centrist liberals seem to think the only 'correct' way to protect is to get
down on your knees and say ''Please, don't wake away my human rights, Mr.
Judge, if not that's okay too, though, I guess.''  History lesson: This has
never worked."
    --Existential Comics

"Maybe there was some brief window before or after [Dred Scott] when SCOTUS
was a force for anything other than reaction."
    --Jesse Keller

"The technological pace of US payment technology makes the Soviet Union look
forward-thinking."
    --Matthew Green

"The Bechdel-Turing test is when a robot talks to another robot about something
other than a human and nobody notices."
    --Tsundoku Psychohazard

"History is safe, geometry is safe.  Science is nuclear and hydrogen bombs!
Science is injecting yourself with the plague and trying to find a cure in
time."
    --Gary Grooberson, _Ghostbusters Afterlife_

"I have to consider the possibility that, at some point after 1968, theory
became a PsyOp to get the (affluent) left to de-emphasize class and war.
Possible conspiracy aside, it can doubtless be viewed as functioning that way."
    --R.U. Sirius

"To pretend that one human being will lead another out of the dark night of
ignorance and into the shining light of truth is ludicrous."
    --Terence McKenna

"I suggest a Theatre of Cruelty.  With this mania we all have today for
belittling everything, as soon as I said 'cruelty' everyone took it to mean
'blood'.  But a 'theatre of cruelty' means theatre that is difficult and cruel
for myself first of all."
    --Antonin Artaud

"Test while the risk is small.  Test and verify."
    --Tessalation

"Faith is about believing the sun will come up, about believing your friends
love you, about accepting axioms of how the world works.  We exercise faith
every time we choose to act as if something is real."
    --@mykola

"The means becomes the end, and the letter of the law takes precedence over
the spirit."
    --Paul Samuelson, Nobel Prize laureate economist

"I mentioned in a previous episode how I wanted to casually hint at Hal
Jordan's pansexual nature but I was a little surprised to hear reports of a
sudden flurry of raised voices, all, in spite of showing absolutely zero
interest in anything else I've ever had to say, suddenly finding the energy
and motivation to express what can only be described as stern disapproval
regarding my wholly innocuous proposition."
    --Grant Morrison

"You have a very strange idea of sentimental value.  We need to have a talk
about this later."
    --Hasufin

"By definition, an existential risk is any event that would prevent humanity
from completely subjugating nature and maximizing economic productivity."
    --Phil Torres

"I remember the days of BBSes and am fond of when you could just be a stranger
on the internet who, oddly, was actually more you than your public self."
    --Doc Skrzyk

"The crypto dream that one day you too will be able to con easy marks just
like you out of their money.  You're not a mark, you're a temporarily
inconfidenced mark."
    --Seige

"How many thousands of dollars does one have to donate to the cause before
you're allowed to spend nine goddamn dollars just being angry?"
    --April Royal

"If the Star Trek Accuracy Conjecture continues to hold, we have several more
years to go before nuclear war."
    --Puella Vulnerata, on Sinn Fein looking like it might win the election in
      Northern Ireland

"There's no real mystery about this at the moment.  This is what we want now.
It may prove wrong later, but we'll correct that when we come to it."
    --From _The Mentat Handbook_

"The very reason I don't consider Go a language 'suitable for beginners' is
precisely that its compiler accepts so much code that is very clearly wrong."
    --fasterthanlime

"My dear fuckhead, if it is -not possible- to perform the action, why do you
-care- if there's a report generated?"
    --Munin

"When you say 'violence is never the answer' your enemies don't think 'Wow,
such principled bravery,' they think 'Okay, so all I have to do to win is use
violence.'"
    --P.B. Gomez

"That shining moment of pause when 2 and 2 come together.  Then you ask
yourself: Is this going to be a bad choice, or way better the second time
around?"
    --Nexxus6

"Twitter, sometimes a bitch just has to GO OFF, okay?  Cool it."
    --Mae Dean

"I no longer work for a news organization so I can say without fear of penalty
for my job that news organizations' reluctance to touch abortion and cover it
honestly for fear of seeming too liberal is a big part of why we are here."
    --Julia Moser

"It is quite funny to see people from America, the most pro-violence country
in the world, say things like ''violence won't help your movement.''"
    --@whitequark

"Fedi is not for everyone, maybe for now, maybe forever."
    --Anke

"Maybe the problem is actually a system that grants nine people the power to
decide what the rest of us are allowed to do with our own bodies."
    --Elle Armageddon

"They're doing manic pixie dream girl stolen valor."
    --Hikikomorphiam

"One of my favorite parts of American political discourse is how often we say
'But what if we help too many people?'"
    --@ENirschel

"Caught a 30mb malware binary today written in Go.  My first PC had a 120mb
hard disk."
    --@_larry0

"Lots of people piling on telling me how stupid/naive I am for not seeing the
'obvious' explanation.  Whatever.  I'll just continue living in my ignorant
desire for actual facts and evidence."
    --Matt Blaze

"Oh no, production is down!  Quick, can any of our engineers tell me how they
used to do things at Google?!"
    --Corey Quinn

"I think you're at best, sock accounts, and at worst, dumbasses.  There's not
as much complexity to the argument as you seem to think."
    --@TheGigconomist

"You probably think it's normal to have fifteen ProtonMail accounts and nine
phone numbers, but your spouse might not think it is normal, and if you are
constantly doing mysterious things in your basement your family is going to
think it's a little weird."
    --Oyzark

"Requiring civil rights to be 'deeply rooted in history' is a great way to say
''if you didn't always have civil rights, then you should never have them.''"
    --Steve Kenson

"A long time ago I was at a presentation by Aubrey de Grey about his
unscientific bullshit about gerontology and when he asked if there were any
questions the head of the department stood up and told him that he was
literally going to kill people."
    --Matthew Garrett

"The thing making me nervous about this housing market is not so much the high
price climbs, as that Americans seem to view their homes primarily as a
financial asset rather than primarily as the place where they live."
    --@falcondarkstar

"Believe people when they say they are in pain."
    --Feonixrift

"Specialization tends to shut off the wide-band tuning searches and thus to
preclude further discovery."
    --Buckminster Fuller

"There is no refuge from change in the cosmos.  No safe place to hide."
    --Neal DeGrasse Tyson

"Wishful descriptions of Twitter as 'the de facto public town square' or 'the
closest thing we have to a global consciousness' sound, to me, like Peter Pan
begging the audience to clap and raise a swooning Tinkerbell.  You don't have
to clap."
    --Robin Sloan

"Everything unusual is dismissed as false.  People judge reliability of info
they get according to their common sense which is nothing more than a set of
(wrong) assumptions of how this world works."
    --Kamil Galeev

"I just put on some Tiger Balm.  Let's see how long I can go without touching
any body part that will regret Tiger Balm."
    --Dildog

"Every night after I work my day job programming in Go I jump back into this
bespoke game and engine written in pure C, just to feel something."
    --@AmyZenunim

"Where there is JB Weld there is a way."
    --Zelfie

"Being AuDHD means being able to make friends because you're high energy and
can pass as outgoing at a single event, but being doubly unable to keep friends
because you forget people exist when you can't see them and because your
recharge time is measured in weeks."
    --Structured Success

"Don't try to make someone great at one thing mediocre at everything."
    --Irina Bednova

"Denial of Service attacks against cloud based infrastructure should be called
thunderstorms."
    --Rogue.System

"The craziest thing about the state of the world is that for the first time we
have enough for everyone, we have the ability to fix most of our problems, we
know how to create a wonderful and equitable society, but we're just going off
the cliff for fun I guess."
    --Quinn Norton

"I'm not saying either number is right or wrong, it's just a weird statement
to see implicitly buried in the recent headlines that one pile of dynamic HTML
and Javascript is considerably more valuable than if everyone can eat enough."
    --Foone

"This is what happens when your theory of politics is entirely grounded in
aesthetics - maybe the most important fact about a billionaire defense
contractor is not, in fact, his brief marriage to a pop star?"
    --Hikikomorphism

"I'm shocked.  You mean people who are only in it for the money with 50mil
golden parachute contracts are conservative leaning?"
    --@shatter242

"You failed to keep the weird kid from saying weird things to the congressman,
that's on you."
    --Ethan Kocak

"Whipping up war myths can have long-term consequences."
    --Noam Chomsky

"The build-it-and-they-will-come fiction has played out very badly in the past
as regards community infrastructure.  I think it wiser to better what we
already have, nourishing the work, thought and communities in place."
    --Julian Oliver

"We don't do puns.  Kill them!"
    --Goatman, _Masters of the Universe: Revelation_

"The code is free and open-source so anyone - yeah, even Those Guys - can run
a server.  But they can't force anyone to federate with them, so these servers
are quarantined."
    --I Fix Coin Ops

"Schadenfreude is like masturbation.  It's a part of the human experience to
be sure, but for god's sake do it in private and wash your hands afterward."
    --Maradydd

"Apparently no one was alive before social media, before the Internet, never
drowned in the relentless flood of American monoculture with no escape in
sight.  Only able to tilt about how sweet material comfort really is."
    --@knowthysorrow

"If you like what the Four Thieves Vinegar Collective does, and you'd like to
support the mission, go help someone out who needs it, whether or not you feel
like they deserve it."
    --Dr. Michael S. Laufer

"If Elon was smarter he would've just started his own fedi instance for like,
$20."
    --@eris@disqordia.space

"My career has always been a runaway kind of baffling thing.  I've never been
a big science fiction and fantasy fan, but I get picked for those kinds of
roles.  I don't think there's any great cosmic reason for the way my career
has gone.  I've just been in the right place at the right time when these
films have come along."
    --Tim Thomerson

"The word 'spirit' and the word 'story' refer to the same thing.  The spirit
world and the narrative world are the same.  So the sacred, in this sense,
becomes this: A thing, either material or abstract, that has in the mind of at
least one living person a role to play in a story."
    --@mykola

"The bicycle theory: If you keep going fast, you don't fall off."
    --Noam Chomsky, on not letting age slow him down

"You don't HAVE to come into the thread and say how little you care.  You can
just not care in silence, and go on with your day."
    --Rusty Zimmerman

"And I crashed processmonitor."
    --Foone

"A sickness known as hate.  Not a virus, not a microbe, not a germ - but a
sickness nonetheless, highly contagious, deadly in its effects.  Don't look
for it in the Twilight Zone, look for it in a mirror.  Look for it before the
light goes out altogether."
    --Rod Serling

"We had no idea that showing a little bit of vagina would be a problem."
    --Paul Verhoven, on _Basic Instinct_

"A middleman's business is to make himself a necessary evil."
    --William Gibson

"The sun is out, here, and it's going to be a busy day, so I'll leave this
here, filtered for busy suns."
    --Warren Ellis

"Everybody go to hell with your fucking reality!"
    --Rolf Dieter Brinkmann

"If you acknowledge that Tibet is a place and that he's [the Ancient One]
Tibetan, you risk alienating one billion people who think that that's
bullshit."
    --C. Robert Cargill, screenwriter, _Doctor Strange_

"I'm starting to understand the subtle difference between 'pandemic' and
'endemic'...  Apparently a 'pandemic' is where a ton of people are dying all
the time and we care, and an 'endemic' is where a ton of people are dying all
the time and we're fine with it."
    --@eliomen

"FBI agents are the least artistic and most literal motherfuckers ever to
carry a gun.  If they staged it, [the] docs would be in neat stacks with a
sticky note saying 'UNLAWFULLY RETAINED DOCUMENTS' in a restrained font."
    --Popehat

"'Real recognize real' rings true from hip hop to hacking."
    --@HackingLZ

"[screaming intensifies] is the mental soundtrack of the decade."
    --Feonixrift

"It's the American way.  You can't have billionaires without masses of poor
folks who toil for crumbs just to survive."
    --@copleac

"Sometimes you gotta look stupid or sound stupid so that you learn enough to
not do stupid."
    --Dildog

"Putin could be shot by a firing squad like Ceacescu and there'd still be far
right and tankie fanboys on here saying it was a 4D chess move and that he was
winning."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"If you have to prove the point, don't do it in such an obviously stupid way."
    --Matthew Green

"I realize this is shocking for the type of person who writes thinkpieces
aimed at VCs on LinkedIn, but it's entirely possible to be motivated by making
sure a change doesn't fuck over your community.  Not everything is a marketing
opportunity.  I don't get paid for this."
    --Dixie Flatline

"New York's hottest term is 'classic terrorism', it's got everything, it's
got: Casual racism, a myopic view of the contemporary terrorism landscape, and
a stunning willingness to show the profound weaknesses in counterterrorism
thinking."
    --Alex Newhouse

"Sleep with angels.  The Evangelion kind."
    --Nicholas Frota

"The fun thing about Dwarf Fortress bugs is that a lot of them sound like
things that belong in a dictionary of mythology, not in a bug tracker."
    --The Irenes

"The hardest problem in computer science is staying logged in to the Wall
Street Journal.  If you stay logged in for more than one article, then P=NP."
    --Steven Sinofsky

"At this point, when shit like this happens, all I've got left is despair.  If
the US could look at kids dying in schools and decide no action was merited, I
don't know what the hell is ever going to be enough to justify adequate gun
control."
    --Jay Edidin

"If you are triggered into acts and words of anger by someone acting out of
kindness, you probably really do need professional help."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"This is the way the world ends.  Not with a bang but a series of increasingly
alarming events we slowly become desensitized to."
    --Gabrielle Drolet

"If you are not a scientist, and you disagree with scientists about science,
it's actually not a disagreement.  You're just wrong.  Science is not truth.
Science is finding the truth.  When science changes its opinion, it didn't lie
to you.  It learned more."
    --Mohamad Safa

"Just saw an ad to 'ask your doctor about Entresto.'  Nothing else, just that.
Isn't that, like, an enemy of the Green Lantern?"
    --Hasufin

"As someone who's been running their own email servers for 25 years I want to
force choke this person over the Internet."
    --Justin Baugh

"I typed this tweet with my left hand.  I'm hoping it goes chiral."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"Pro tip: If ever in the course of an investigation you are invited aboard a
private jet by the subject of said investigation, I highly recommend you do
all you can to get on that damn plane."
    --J. David McSwane

"Language models as oracles, to be mined for the wisdom and morals of the
human species."
    --Arnaud Schenk

"Marriage: When two people decide they will be mutually bad influences on each
other, and they accept this."
    --Hasufin

"People in power refuse to do anything about either thing, and criticism of
them is threatened with leaving us to the fascists who want us dead even
faster."
    --River Enodian

"Sorry your existence is joyless, do try to stop taking it out on others."
    --Elle Armageddon

"According to Republicans, you can marry a child, give them a gun and force
them to carry a baby to term, but letting them read a Judy Blume book, wear a
mask, talk about race, gender or sexual orientation is child abuse."
    --@jojofromjerz

"For real tho, I never knew I needed furry art of myself as the Unabomber."
    --qDot

"Another day, another instance where reality somehow outpaces Leverage."
    --@sigmafactor

"There's only two hard problems in computer science, naming things and
deciding what to do after you burn out."
    --@the_aiju

"'Write a SQL parser' sounds like an intern project but is roughly on par with
landing humans on Mars.  The SQL spec is 100k+ pages long and not one db
actually implements it."
    --Predrag Gruevski

"The people redefining metrics for optics are working overtime."
    --@gregorg

"Indie bands are always like 'we recorded this album at an abandoned spaghetti
factory in Providence, Rhode Island.'  Why?  Why'd you do that?  There are
recording studios with couches and electricity."
    --@DrakeGatsby

"Normal is dead.  It's not coming back.  I don't know what the future is going
to be like, but life pre covid isn't coming back.  I don't fear covid, I fear
getting it every year and long covid crippling or killing me."
    --@m00ph23

"There's no such thing as a database, only CSV files with extra steps."
    --@jtimberman

"NT [neurotypical] people make their decisions based on what they think other
people think and what they think other people will think about what they think.
If enough NT people say a contagious disease doesn't exist, most of the rest
of them will convince themselves it doesn't."
    --@Artists_Ali

"If you suffered in life and want other people to suffer as you did because
'you turned out fine,' you did not, in fact, turn out fine."
    --Daniel Shipwreck

"'The purpose of a system is what it does' is cursed knowledge, and I should
spend less time venting and more time looking at cute little birbs at the
duckpond."
    --@tef_ebooks

"The evil spirits you are trying to unleash on the world will not thank you
for your efforts."
    --Erik Baker

"Really?  A blobbed over IC?  You're gonna come into my house with TRANSPARENT
ELECTRONICS and leave me looking at a generic epoxy blob?  You sicken me."
    --Foone

"Folks are asking for a source.  Regrettably, it's just something a CS prof
said during lecture many years ago when I was an undergrad.  My Twitter feed
is a stream of consciousness, not a source of reliable news."
    --Steven Godofsky

"Chess is not a game.  Chess is a well-defined form of computation.  You may
not be able to work out all the answers, but in theory there must be a
solution, a right procedure in any position.  Now, real games are not like
that at all.  Real life is not like that.  Real life consists of bluffing, of
little tactics of deception, of asking yourself what is the other man going to
think I mean to do."
    --John von Neumann

"The amount of people willing to pull the ladder up behind them and try to be
'one of the good ones' are always the same people who are the most surprised
what happens when the people who they're buddy-buddy with no longer require
them."
    --@casswantsrevolt

"I'll believe in people settling Mars at about the same time I see people
setting the Gobi Desert.  The Gobi Desert is about a thousand times as
hospitable as Mars and five hundred times cheaper and easier to reach."
    --Bruce Sterling

"If people aren't jumping at your 'simple' fix to a complex, expensive problem,
maybe it's not that simple."
    --Unfuck Your Habitat

"This place basically sucks but we aren't responsible for making it better
because we don't own anything, and the parts we like exist as a side effect of
someone's money making scheme.  This is just like hanging out at the mall as
a kid."
    --@scanlime

"Great.  Another thing I have to port DOOM to."
    --Foone

"One person's breakdown is another person's breakthrough."
    --Joseph Matheny

"I was a little too old to get into Pokemon when it first hit so I can
probably only name, like, a hundred of them or something."
    --Matt Boyd

"It was kind of a little fuck you to Atari management.  They took away my
royalty, but I tricked them into publicizing my name."
    --Warren Robinett, on hiding his name in an easter egg in Adventure for
      the Atari because corporate policy forbid programmer credits

"Searching Alibaba and Aliexpress is a skill distinct from anything else I do
on the Internet today in ways I find deeply uncomfortable."
    --ajroach

"For it is in the nature of alchemy not to let the mind take flight until it
has passed through all the channels and bedrock of existing matter, to redouble
this labour in the future's white-hot limbo."
    --Antonin Artaud

"Reminder: Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime.  Anything and
everything, all of the time."
    --Rysiek

"[screaming intensifies] is the mental soundtrack of the decade."
    --Feonixrift

"I finally figured out why six grocery stores in our county aren't selling any
matzah.  It's because a local Catholic Church is having their own Seder and
bought it all.  They said I could buy a ticket.  So now I'm worried about
dying from an irony-induced aneurysm."
    --Michal Rosenoer

"We can't even say out loud that women, children, and families have inherent
societal value.  Unless we say that helping people = 'investments in our
economic recovery' no one cares."
    --Carlos Moreno

"The 90's DARE program had me SO prepared to turn down all the drugs that have
never been offered to me."
    --Eden Dranger

"No matter how loudly you scream about being one of the good ones, the people
that hate us are never going to love you."
    --@greenTetra_

"The default American response to immense human suffering that a middle class
person here cannot conceptualize is a mix of defensiveness and dismissiveness."
    --@MenshevikM

"If someone says magic doesn't exist, then you know they've never seen RF
circuits before."
    --@FexDaFox

"You're fucked, as a service.  Or, we're tired of trying, as a service."
    --@passingthehash

"Crypto is just a speedrun of financial history, they haven't yet reached the
mergers and acquisitions and hostile takeover portion yet, they only just
figured out incorporation via DAOs."
    --Danny Page

"Tetris is an inventory management survival horror game."
    --Anonymous

"The entire school of 'throw spaghetti at the wall,' which lost businesses
*gobs* of money but made our world far more interesting, is dead and buried,
replaced with arbitrage."
    --Gravislizard

"People make things into the way they assume things to be."
    --Anarkat

"You used to get your server hacked and then find a bunch of legal pirated porn
or MP3s or 0-day movies as a reward.  That doesn't happen anymore.  It's just
playing flyswatter with crypto miners or literal state actors.  Nothing fun."
    --@CisHetKayFaber

"My experiences of late on Twitter prove to me that if you aren't paying for
something, you aren't a customer.  You're the commodity."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"If you leave your country to voluntarily take up arms under a flag different
from the one you were raised with, you have to be prepared for a certain level
of weirdness.  ''Sir, is that a space alien from the X-Files on patrol outside
our post?''  ''It doesn't have an obvious criminal record and it can shoot a
rifle, so none of your fucking business!''"
    --@aelkus

"I wonder if men fear Communism because they worry that it'll reduce them to
the level of women."
    --Beka Valentine

"If your config file syntax becomes Turing complete, stop now and cancel the
project."
    --J. B. Crawford

"The problem with the trolley problem is that it assumes disposability is
inevitable and that ethical problems for elites consist in justifying which
group to render disposable rather than find systemic fixes to disposability."
    --Robin James

"Peace and love and protesting the war and then getting a little older and
voting for Reagan."
    --@latkedelrey

"Life goals: Sounding like a numbers station when someone asks me how old I
am."
    --Anonymous

"HTTPS continuity is less relevant to users in healthy democracies where the
government isn't actively MitM'ing web traffic from regime enemies.  But it is
extremely relevant to vulnerable people and those incentivized through data
caps to use public WiFi where attackers lurk."
    --Swift on Security

"I was thinking if recent incidents with Python could be related to the
proliferation of 'data scientists' and interest in deep fakes."
    --Ivan Sergio Borgonovo

"It's the least fun explanation, so therefore most likely to be true."
    --Fleet Admiral Wiggles

"2.5kg of proprietary synthetics on a 45kg chassis my dude."
    --Naomi Wu

"Being cancelled by the Bernie bros of the Internet was hard, but not in the
way I'd hoped.  I thought my first encounter with 500,000 straight white men
in Patagonia vests would be more homoerotic but life isn't always what you
hope for."
    --Alex Walker

"A plan is just a list of things that don't happen."
    --Parker, _The Way of the Gun_

"If you're gonna bite my vocals, I'm gonna bite your music!"
    --Chill Rob G

"AI without code is just called stats."
    --Quinn Norton

"I'll never fit in.  That's one of my best qualities."
    --Terri Willingham

"This creates a lot of questions.  None of which I really want answered."
    --Vlad_II

"When peeling the foil top off of the mayonnaise, it exploded in my face and
let me just say, I do NOT understand the appeal."
    --Mae Dean

"I think I'm prepared to die on the hill that a decent action movie doesn'
need you to delve into secondary sources to understand what happened."
    --Oliver Darkshire

"As long as there's a TARDIS and the odd Dalek, all's right with the world."
    --Neil Gaiman

"Listen, I have been on the Internet a couple of minutes and I know what these
things mean, so do not bring your propaganda into my timeline."
    --qDot

"If you're looking for good guys and bad guys, you're already a mark."
    --James Curcio

"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.  It's what you know
for sure that just ain't so."
    --Mark Twain

"I'm waiting for T-800 terminator to knock on my door any day now."
    --Lex Fridman

"Write the book that only 65 people in the world will appreciate."
    --Christopher S. Hyatt

"Leadership in THE industry that makes the tools of collaboration in the 21st
century cannot, in fact, collaborate over distance.  LEADERSHIP cannot.  The
rest of us are like ''What the fuck's the problem?''"
    --Nicole Sanchez

"Liberals treat non-violence like libertarians treat decentralization: They
saw it working once and mistook tactics for goals."
    --Nicholas Frota

"Isn't it interesting that only the skeptical one should be given actual access
to the divine?"
    --Alien Perspective

"Yes, I'm still using a web interface to print my 3d models.  I haven't yet
modded a 3d printer to run off either paper tape or floppy disks.  Trust me,
I'm even more disappointed in myself than you are."
    --Foone

"You don't suddenly lose a lifetime/years worth of experience just because you
don't do that job anymore.  They're still teachers, they just don't do it for
a living primarily anymore."
    --@AyLilGiraffe

"Vendor support is not a replacement for staff competence.  Microsoft cannot
understand your environment in an hour call.  Active Directory is legos with
infinite superglue.  There's no telling what you've built."
    --Swift On Security

"I think this story puts me at LD50 for my daily intake of WTF."
    --Matt Blaze

"About fifteen years ago, I lived in Tampa Bay.  If you've ever been, you know
it's hot, humid, and grows bugs big enough to mug you for drug money."
    --Patrick S. Tomlinson

"Pandering to fears in an information void actually makes things worse."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"Java: What if programming was like writing high school essays?"
    --Sam Pizzey

"What I love about the Internet is how everything before 2000 has basically
been forgotten: So, none of today's youth realize that all of this has
happened before."
    --Matthew Green

"Sometimes you need to pay a third party to get your point across."
    --Unknown

"People love to say ''Don't look away!'' and then show you horror scenes of
human suffering.  As something of an expert on this sort of thing, let me tell
you: Look away.  The implicit story that we somehow respond to traumatic
images/events with heroic action is just plain nonsense."
    --Quinn Norton

"A party wants a few zealous cohorts, generous donors, and a mass of
occasional, TV-conditioned voters."
    --Unknown

"The rich know they're not dealing with humans but with a procedural mechanism.
It can and must be hacked, you just need to find a bug.  And they will actively
look for it.  A rich *will* demand a special treatment and make a case why he
deserves it.  And they often get it.  The poor stupidly believe they're
dealing with humans.  Thus they 'follow the rules' and get fucked.  Absurd as
it may sound, they may even feel proud for following the law, following the
common procedure without demanding any special privileges."
    --Kamil Galeev

"The nearest bystander is the most likely suspect."
    --Wiggum's Razor

"You can take away my house, all my tricks and toys, but one thing you can't
take away - I am Iron Man."
    --Tony Stark

"Your matter recalls cosmic explosions and you tasted oblivion before you
learned your own name.  Fear nothing."
    --The Cryptonaturalist

"I remember when our handcrafted artisanal virus payloads would fit in a 4Kb
page so you could hide it in the MBR."
    --Sam Thurston

"The things that seemed dystopian to us in the 1990s are so weird now.  Likek
they made having a comfortable office job and an apartment and nice furniture
and enough food and money seem bleak and dehumanizing.  And we went with it."
    --@numb3r5ev3n

"Of all the things I expected to say at this point in 2022, ''It's great to be
a Republican right now'' was nowhere among them.  If you had told me a year
ago that the post-Trump GOP would be anything other than a shattered shambles
today, I would have belly-laughed like Jabba the Hutt and then questioned your
fitness as a political observer... yet here we are, so who's the smart guy?
Not me."
    --William Rivers Pitt

"Both kids still have their full complement of taste buds, so neither likes
many Scovilles in their comestibles.  I am forced to other methods."
    --Lillith Saint Crow

"When the far right used logic-bro personas as a way to harass vulnerable
people, they not only caused damage by the harassment itself, but also in the
act of taking a good thing (verifying if something is true and challenging
claims that are incorrect or harmful) and making people afraid to do it
because they don't want to be 'like them.'."
    --Sandrockcstm

"Sometimes people use 'respect' to mean 'treating someone like a person' and
sometimes they use 'respect' to mean 'treating someone like an authority' and
sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say ''if you
won't respect me I won't respect you'' and they mean ''if you won't treat me
like an authority, I won't treat you like a person'' and they think they're
being fair but they aren't, and it's not okay."
    --Unknown

"If you're bad at regular expressions, try ritalin."
    --Josef

"The dipshits who designed and implemented this disastrous unusable trash
probably earn 3x my salary."
    --Ieure, on Apple Cloud

"I know it's not called this but I'm calling our pandemic Nerve Attenuation
Syndrome, because it really feels like the power play now is go to live with
Ice-T and a drug addicted dolphin on the underside of an abandoned bridge."
    --Sungo

"Decentralization is not the goal. The goal is information and communication
services that respect human agency.  Open source is not the goal, the goal is
building a commons of software that is free to study, inspect, and improve."
    --rgegriff

"Earth!  Wind!  Water!  Eyeballs!"
    --U Can Beat Video Games

"For those who don't agree that we can return to pre-Salmonella normal, I ask:
What should we all do?  Perpetual refrigeration?  Forever thoroughly cooking,
avoiding restaurants with poor hygiene, etc?  Virtually everything has risk,
and zero Salmonella is not a viable strategy."
    --David Kent
      (for everyone playing along at home, that is sarcasm)

"It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act
of murder."
    --Albert Einstein

"Its always 'The Simpsons predicted the future,' and never 'We created
ourselves a nightmare world beyond parody.'"
    --Unlofl

"There are a thousand forces trying to get hold of people's minds, particularly
children's minds."
    --Neil Postman

"I was contacted by the people who became Pixar - I knew them well, and they
wanted to get out of Lucasfilm.  They called me up and asked me for advice,
and so I said, I can talk to Steve [Jobs].  I explained very carefully to him
who these people were, and you shouldn't fuck around with them, like he did
with his normal employees.  He did a good job with them.  [Pixar] was the most
honest billion he ever made, because he put a lot of his own personal money
into nurturing those guys.  They got fabulous.  That was Steve's best hour."
    --Alan Kay

"While nearly naked PCP freaks aren't my ideal good time I'm sure some more
cultured individual would find his sex positive attitude a jackpot of
pleasure."
    --Anonymous Nextdoor poster, on being accosted by a gentleman wearing only
      a thong who offered him a dose of PCP and oral sex

"People forget that Mosaic and then later Netscape was simply a unified, GUI
for multiple protocols."
    --Joseph Matheny

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human
history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
    --Mitch Ratcliffe

"If violence is never your answer, it will always be your enemy's."
    --Zone Liberation Front

"But during times of war or major international crises, there's little
tolerance for anti-imperialist dissent.  Warmongering voices are amplified by
credulous media outlets, and those who stray from the consensus are accused
of spreading propaganda or being on the side of terrorists.  Efforts to explain
or contextualize the underlying dynamics and historical events that led to
the conflict are also stifled."
    --Aida Chavez

"Has our political theater been this shit for this long we can't recognize
well done political theater when it's done in front of us?"
    --Teantis

"Ye gods, it sucks to have a fundamentally paranoid disposition and then have
the world repeatedly validate all of it."
    --ml0pe

"Frankly, I don't really get vaccine incentive programs, or lotteries, or
giving people guns for getting vaccinated.  If not dying is not enough of an
incentive to get the vaccine, I'm not sure what will be."
    --Bert Fan

"Listen I'm not attacking your gardens, I'd like to have one at some point.
Tomatoes are cool and who doesn't like squash.  Let's slow down on the
individualism, you're not gonna be able to do it all by yourself.  The
socialization of production is here baby let's work with it."
    --Michael Kofi A.

"Total storage capacity on our whole system got to 1GB, and that was huge."
    --Mark Malmberg, on the system used to do the CG for _The Lawnmower Man_
      in 1991

"Live as though the sun will rise."
    --Feonixrift

"The hypocrisy of being pro security but having such little personal opsec
blows my mind."
    --Kuskos, on hackers bragging on Twitter about how much they just got
      paid for a bug bounty

"Let's all remember that the 'h' in 'cybersecurity' stands for happiness.  And
the 'j' in 'academia' is for the joy in being on the faculty."
    --Gene Spafford

"The power struggles to control the Magic Knight Rayearth DALnet channel would
make even the most cutthroat investment banker scream in terror."
    --Foone

"Client wanted the 'porn star' treatment.  I made him sit on the bed while I
moved a lamp around for 30 minutes."
    --Jamie French

"This is a classic rhetorical ploy to obscure the risk of escalation.  We are
already at war, so we are merely talking about how to fight, rather than
whether to fight."
    --Andrew Kydd

"At the counter-protest on 17th today, a 'freedom convoy' woman approached my
partner and yelled at him to ask if he had read _Brave New World_.  He calmly
replied yes and asked if she had as well, to which she responded 'No, but
that's not the point.'"
    --Meaghan Walsh

"[It] fucking sucks that once a problem is just a tiny bit abstract it simply
stops being a problem for most folks."
    --@ayasebun

"Taco Bell is the only place you can still get gas for $3.20."
    --@codingmilf

"When I complained about the slow apocalypse, it was not an invitation for the
universe to speed it up."
    --@evacide

"It is now apparently unscheduled void screaming hours."
    --Crazypedia

"There's no labor shortage.  There's a shortage of jobs treating people with
basic respect."
    --Dan Price

"Thanks to the amount of advice I absolutely did not ask for, I have learned
my lesson and will now keep my browser related tweets to be solely about
browser mascot porn from now on."
    --@qDot

"Find someone who looks at you the same way a cat looks at an invisible mote
of dust floating on the air."
    --Sargoth

"Thoroughgoing cynicism and total credulity have a tendency to combine."
    --John Ganz
      (That's an excellent observation.)

"Folks like to snark at 'needlessly connected' devices, but I just bought my
wife a networked coffee machine, and I must say: A device like that actively
sends you a ping when it's _done_ can be a miracle and a half for folks with
ADHD."
    --Kate Temkin

"As the writer of _Batman Returns_ all I have to say is... so wait, you're
telling me he's a detective?"
    --Daniel Waters

"The worst thing your community ignores is what it accepts, and the worst
thing your community accepts what it becomes."
    --mhoye

"I was a journalist for years.  I became a journalist because I believed with
my whole heart that if people just knew how unfair and sad things are
sometimes, they would make better choices.  I wish I still believed that.  I
wish y'all hadn't taken that belief from me so violently."
    --Becca Green

"When all they had to do was chip away at the hegemonic western narrative they
looked like geniuses, because cynicism and irony is easy but earnestness is
hard."
    --@SevaUT

"This completely throwaway observation now has 10x the engagement of a tweet
about an actual book I wrote.  Makes ya think."
    --Helen R. Gradwell

"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf."
    --Jon Kabat Zinn

"I now have a very very fast car, but it's called comparatively 'slow' to its
sports car competition.  I have one question: Are you all high?  I can get
zero to a felony in this thing faster than you can age out of Leonardo
DiCaprio's dating pool.  The fuck is wrong with you people?  I swear to god
hypercar spec sheets have fried the minds of an entire generation of tween
car enthusiasts.  You don't need 2.8 seconds to sixty.  Try that in bed,
nobody is gonna be happy."
    --@SwiftOnSecurity

"For a non-trivial number of kids and teens, their parents are part of the
threat model, an antagonizing force to be evaded.  Forcing teachers to out
students to their parents is a good way to get a good number of those students
abused, and also teach them that they cannot trust any authority figure.
Buddy, no one thinks they're a bad parent, the bad parents just think they
have bad kids."
    --Eevee

"I understand we live in terrifying times but I feel like we've all had enough
time to adjust to the reality that laws are fake.  If I have to hear one more
''HOW CAN THEY DO THIS?!  THAT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL!''  Yes, I know.  They're
still doing it.  I'm sorry."
    --@bitterkarella

"What they don't explicitly tell you about having kids is that it is a
contract to revisit all of the stressors and traumas of your own youth."
    --Dildog

"The goal in the Nirvana fallacy is to prevent kindness, empathy, and justice. 
They are opposed to those concepts, as they hamper their actions.  Sainthood
is not a prerequisite for kindness, empathy, or justice.  Even people you
*absolutely despise* deserve those things."
    --Hasufin

"I once pooped in a Starbucks in St. Petersburg, Russia, which makes me
uniquely qualified to comment on the political machinations of Vlad Putin.
1/37"
    --Spatula

"Drawing Bayesian inferences after extensive sampling, I've determined that
it's 99-percent certain that anyone who uses 'woke' as pejorative will turn
out to be a fuckhead."
    --Mike Godwin
      Dubbed Godwin's Second Law by Charles Stross

"The news lately is like someone gave Timecube a nuclear arsenal."
    --ml0pe

"Showed my daughter what OG FF7 looked like and she said ''No wonder most old
games have good stories.  It's all they had.''"
    --@kaylamariah

"My computer has military grade security.  In other words, I don't patch half
my shit, I'm running ancient RHEL hardened to the point of being useless, but
also running easily exploitable software, and ya know I like telnet so I made
an exception for that.  But my AV is up to date!"
    --Alejandro Caceres

"My understanding of Waffle House as a European is that it's some kind of
semi-state or state-capacity logistical mechanism that happens to serve
coffee.  I don't think it serves waffles, despite the name."
    --@ollyrobot

"I'm not a sports microfairness scientist, but being able to live and
participate with dignity is a human right.  People get to exist and live and
do the things they love."
    --@christapeterso

"Stupid things always seems to be the 'easier things.'"
    --@Metalskiman

"Nobody's dead as long as their TV show's running, at least according to Dr.
Brian O'Blivion."
    --Mark Hughes

"He who jumps into the void owes no explanation to those who stand and watch."
    --Jean-Luc Godard

"The common case must be fast.  The worst case must make progress."
    --_Hints for Computer System Design_, Butler Lampson

"Some leftist friends have started to use the blanket term, 'eco-fascist'.  As
a radical environmentalist, who is not a fascist sympathizer, I find the term
insulting and problematic.  It feels (cue conspiracy music) like a way to
discredit radical environmentalism."
    --Joseph Matheny

"When I am weaker than you, I ask you for freedom because that is according
to YOUR principles.  When I am stronger than you I take away your freedom
because that is according to MY principles."
    --Unknown, but usually attributed to Louis Veuillot

"People need to realize that kind of shit that goes on in that book [American
Psycho], that's not what counts.  What counts is having life and nurturing
life and holding onto it."
    --Pierce Brosnan

"Go, go, Gadget autonomic self-repair systems, I guess..."
    --Jet Dillo

"My building has been without water for over 24 hours because of a leak.
Contractor has messed up sealing it 3 times.  It is the witching hour of
infomercials right now and I'm wondering why Flex Seal can't solve this
problem."
    --0xpookie

"Make a search engine called Bong that gives you rambling results that go off
on tangents until they have very little to do with your original search terms
but its totally awesome stuff anyway."
    --Dildog

"The ignorance of the beautiful variety of the human experience is stultifying,
and outright depressing."
    --Phil B. Reed

"To all the people suggesting she have a civilized discussion with the
offender, please understand that the kind of person who would benefit from
a conversation is also one who would have never treated her like this in the
first place."
    --@isIndchicaMD

"A world with a simpler DOM and without Javascript makes me shudder like a
tongue of electric cilia exploring my ear canal."
    --@swiftonsecurity

"Please try to be safe.  Failing that, make sure it's worth it."
    --Siina

"'A deal with the devil' is prejudiced against devils and demons.  Please use
the more respectful phrase 'accepting VC funding'."
    --Amy Star

"There was no such thing as clinical depression until this film was made."
    --Tom Servo

"Hogs have four shoulders, and two of them are butts.. but not the two you'd
think."
    --Robin Hood

"Brilliant deduction, Encyclopedia Brown.  Everybody knows that people with
genuine experiences already have Github accounts.  People without Github
accounts would never make one on the spot to report something SO trivial as
having their hard drive wiped by some moron who pushed malware to a node
package."
    --BurnyBoi

"When it comes to being haunted by demons, it's a perilously thin line between
thinking you're fighting them and actually being possessed by them."
    --Ed Simon

"A lot of things have to go right to stop one thing that goes wrong."
    --Seele

"Time for some of my classic political thought leadership: Wow, I have
absolutely no idea what is going on."
    --Eevee

"This man is one line of coke away from trying to sell me an unhackable crypto
wallet featuring military grade encryption."
    --Elle Armageddon

"However, managing people and teams is a job that requires time to deliver.
100% time in meetings means zero management happens.  Meetings aren't
management activity."
    --Taz Wake

"Dammit, fuck the law, but wear a condom."
    --Eve

"Honest to Bob, I had an experience once where an entity said to me, 'Terrence
McKenna is not our spokesperson.  Please ask him to stop speaking for us.'"
    --Joseph Matheny, on behalf of an unknown entity

"Whenever I criticize the F-35 program I'm told I don't understand how money
works by the MilTwitter Blogosphere.  '$1.5 trillion dollars is achuullly a
great value.. if only I could understand.'  We've sunk 1.5 TRILLION into the
F-35.  If the F-35 were a country, it's GDP would rank 11th in the world."
    --Dale Stark

Never underestimate how motivating the lulz are.

"Here's your very own puppy... with solar panels."
    --the_gibson

"In all the vast and empty universe, we were allowed to live and eke out this
existence on this small rock.  Every minute of life is a gift beyond words."
    --warriorstar

"'Violence is not the answer' has left more innocents dead than chopping off
the heads of rulers."
    --Crazypedia

"What is a slide rule but a floating point unit for the soul?"
    --Shoofle

"I worked at a cable company for a long time and 'destroy all other vectors
for visual content' was absolutely part of our mission statement."
    --Sungo

"Love is like promulgate.  They're both in the dictionary and no one knows
what either means."
    --Deep Space 90210

"We dont so much have a social safety net in the US as a social spike/scorpion
pit."
    --Zetta

"People who still want flying cars haven't been in a Cessna with an
inexperienced pilot at the stick and it shows."
    --Socketwench

"At some point we switched seamlessly from 'a computer is a machine for
helping humans think and plan industrial processes more efficiently' to 'a
computer is a machine for tricking millions of other people or machines into
giving you money as fast and as cheaply as possible'."
    --Nate Cull

"I am not a 'stable genius', I am a nightly build genius.  I should not be
deployed in a production environment."
    --Davey

"Ask for work.  If they don't give you work, ask for bread.  If they do not
give you work or bread, then take bread."
    --Emma Goldman

"Resumes are basically just a character sheet for your job."
    --the_t

"Yes, random comments on the internet *can* contribute to World War III."
    --Jay Ashworth, on Ukraine asking Russia to be cut off from the Net

"There's good reason to believe that many Russians rely on the Internet to
find out what's going on in the world, as all state media is controlled.  Just
as in the west, younger people rely more on the Internet for information, and
older people use the TV.  If they [Russia] are blocked from the Internet, the
people will only receive state propaganda, and will know nothing of the war
against the Ukraine etc.  IMNSHO, the best way to prevent tyrants is to have
educated citizens.  Therefore I would urge people to push back against an
Internet death sentence against .RU."
    --Paul M

"There is a staggering amount of context I am clearly not privy to."
    --Dave, _Real Life Comics_

"They yell at us because we waste our money buying crap we don't need.  Then,
they yell at us because we're killing the economy when we don't buy crap we
don't need."
    --Peter Kiefor

"You know what kinda sucks?  Being burdened with perspective.  It would be so
much easier if we believed that it's possible to end injustice by working with
the system."
    --The Irenes

"My manager asked us yesterday if we got off track and if we were distracted
last week.  Yeah, with WW3.  How am I supposed to focus?"
    --@dnsprincess

"The fate of whole nations depend on how successful they are at attracting the
eyeballs of the metropole's audiences."
    --Yuan Yi Zhu

"It is far better to be conspicuously silent than it is to lend your voice to
spreading the gaslighting rhetoric of a blatantly abusive party - in this
case, the Russian government - in their attempts at rewriting reality to
justify their aggression towards others."
    --Elle Armageddon

"If you are hiking in a group and waiting for slower people to catch up, don't
start walking again when they do catch up, because then you got a rest and
they didn't."
    --Mimi Smartypants

"I want you to note the connection here between being simultaneously outwardly
a political hardliner for the Soviet Union and also first in line to become a
new capitalist and loot as hard as he could."
    --Poppy Haze

"If you are new to infosec and feeling overwhelmed because you're not getting
something when it seems like all this stuff comes naturally to everyone else,
take a deep breath.  If someone tells you they never struggled to understand
a concept, they're lying to you."
    --Hexadecim8

"People don't like hearing it, but the overriding moral imperative is 'avoid a
mushroom cloud over every single population center in the United States, the
UK, France, and Russia and the subsequent literal end of the world.'"
    --@bluespacecanary

"You may be there one day.  And no one wants to be trending on Twitter."
    --Pat Sajak

"In 2002, the US passed a bipartisan law, the American Service-Members'
Protection Act, which authorizes the military invasion of the Hague if ICC
ever tried to prosecute the US for war crimes.  The US openly declared, 20
years ago, that it cannot be tried for war crimes."
    --Pookleblinky

"Fandoms don't have to make sense to those outside the fandom.  Don't want to
spend your money there, then don't.  If you do, have fun."
    --@beckyIB

"A propaganda channel does not exist for its profit margin, it exists to
spread propaganda."
    --Feonixrift

"Putin believes Ukraine is part of Russia, which means he is trying to win a
land war in Russia."
    --Eevee

"What is the difference to Putin if there are a 1000 dead or 10,000 or
100,000?  Is he still in power?  Is he still rich?  As I've often said, the
ability to act this way, purely selfishly, is a superpower of autocrats.
Normal people cannot emulate it."
    --Garry Kasparov

"LAPSUS is threatening to release 1TB of stolen data from NVIDIA, which is the
equivalent of the last three driver updates I downloaded for my graphics card."
    --Lars Karlslund

"Poinsettias only turn red due to a stress reaction from being denied the sun
and light they need to live.   Bloom and be beautiful despite the bullshit
you're forced to handle."
    --Medus4

"Russian soldiers trying to match on Tinder with women from the country
they're invading and then getting catfished for intel is such a weird 'we live
in the future' moment."
    --Douglas Chu

"Gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that maybe the sheer number of people
unknowingly sharing donation links to neo-nazi orgs is a sign that we are not
going to solve huge geopolitical issues via Twitter crowdfunding and the card
industrial complex."
    --@overfireisland

"It's called RS232 because 232 is how many adapters you'll need."
    --Foone

"Once lawsuits are threatened and lawyers are invoked, you've positioned
yourself as someone who's not going to get a call back."
    --Deviant Ollam

"My main observation is that spirituality is an exercise of the human faculty
for pattern recognition, and this faculty is not 'use it or lose it', it's
'be self-aware about it or it will tune in something random and go brrr'."
    --Amberite

"It's very enjoyable to be designated an influencer due to other people's
decision to follow you, then held to a standard where you suck for talking
about things outside your area of expertise but also suck if you choose remain
silent."
    --Marcus Hutchins

"Things need not be true in the tangible sense to change the world."
    --the_gibson

"What's happening to Ukraine is awful, but it's weird to see takes like
''we've never seen anything like this.''  We have.  We saw the US invade Iraq
and Afghanistan, and we saw decades of war there.  The idea that war is only
terrible when it's another country doing it must be smashed.  We really need
some self-awareness in this country."
    --Joshua Potash

"There is to say this strongly depends on where you live.  Or at least would,
if this wasn't The Internet, where everything outside America is culturally
irrelevant."
    --@marsthecarguy

"You current firewall appears to check all the marks, why are you replacing it?"
"Because the hidden box it no longer checks is the ability to power up and
POST."
    --Nicholas Wolf and Alyssa Miller

"Smug thousand-yard stare is such a Cassandra mood in general."
    --Fae

"You can't fight evil like the traitorous Right by being sweet and nice."
    --Lauren Weinstein

"At this point I don't really understand what restrains the reactionary powers
in our society from going full-on murder and terror mode."
    --Cigfran Llwyd

"Congrats on living long enough to see NIN become dadrock."
    --@mildredvon

"Personally I could do without a centennial habit of topping off a global
pandemic with war in Europe."
    --Dr. Prasad Jallepalli, MD, Ph.D

"Looking into Kubernetes, I've never seen something so over-architected in my
life and I do Azure research for a living."
    --Ryan Hausknecht

"I need someone to protect me from all the measures they take in order to
protect me."
    --Banksy

"Putting a lot on the line for people just to ignore my concerns.  Typical."
    --@theroxyd

"People tempted to nitpick me on technical details of nerve agents are
politely advised to google my name first.  It will save much embarrassment as
well as all the livers of everyone who drinks a shot when someone self-owns on
my timeline."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"Picasso never lectured.  He never dissected the doves which flew out from his
sleeves.  He was satisfied with painting, acquiring an incomparable technique
and putting it in the service of chance."
    --Jean Cocteau

"Never feel sorry for raising dragon slayers in a time where there are actual
dragons."
    --Unknown

"I really do not know how to continue a semblance of daily life now that the
CDC has pretty much said we're all just going to get covid until we die from
it."
    --Ana Mardoll

"ALL of these oppressive power structures are bad, but sometimes good things
happen when they get backed into a corner, because you can play them against
each other."
    --The Irenes

"If you're going to be an oligarch and your yacht ISN'T a small mobile
fortress, what even is the point?"
    --@Queer0fElam

"C is a language with many useful functions: strtod converts your string to a
double, strtol converts your string to a long, and strtok converts your string
to potassium."
    --Hikari

"Philosophically, one of the razors that I've started to use recently as a
security professional is to ask myself 'is this something a cop would probably
do?'  If the answer is 'yes' it's a signal to me that I need to stop and
re-evaluate what I'm doing and why."
    --Alexa Kelley

"The point of preparedness isn't to get things for the current crisis, but for
the coming crisis."
    --Margaret Killjoy

"I have news for people who say 'Nobody wants World War III.'  Nobody wanted
the first two, either."
    --Randi Mayem Singer

"Everyone hates on encryption and Tor until the shit hits the fan."
    --@nscrut_

"Programs are meant to be read by humans and only incidentally for computers
to execute."
    --Donald Knuth

"_Transformers_ is one of the very most American movies ever made, because its
director is the very definition of a mediocre white guy wasting simply amazing
piles of not his money to blow things up where brown people live.  It's also
maybe Bay's best movie."
    --Patrick S. Tomlinson

"Chasing yachts is fun but many of the current measures seem to be ''let's cut
the Russians out of our racket'' rather than ''let's change laws that enable
corrupt oligarchs everywhere.''"
    --@sevaUT

"Congratulations to all newly minted foreign policy experts."
    --Sarah Smith

"Not since Aaron Rodgers or Djokovic has the world united so fervently against
one man's unrepentant assholism.  Good job, Putin."
    --Xeni Jardin

"Everybody's a mad scientist, and life is their lab.  We're all trying to
experiment to find a way to live, to solve problems, to fend off madness and
chaos."
    --David Cronenberg

"Don't let them tell you there are no monsters."
    --Nick Cave

"By the time we got to Jupiter's moon Europa and began drilling to see what
lay under the ice, the old legends of the submerged city of R'lyeh were all
but forgotten.  After all, nobody has found it in any oceans on Earth."
    --Micro SF/F Stories

"Blockchains, the Libertarian dream of finance: Impossible for any authority
to manipulate (but totally possible for a cabal of independent actors to
manipulate), and they make regular ol' theft vastly worse, but that's ok
because everyone insists it's your fault for being robbed."
    --Eevee

"Deleted my tweets about the updated CDC guidelines because quite frankly, if
anyone gave a fuck about the experiences or needs of disabled people, we
wouldn't be going into year three of this pandemic."
    --Elle Armageddon

"Twitter gives you access to some of the world's foremost experts on nuclear
safety, modern warfare, supply chain dynamics, epidemiology, climate, and so
much more.  Even more impressive is that it's always the same three people."
    --lcamtuf

"Insincere actors are the rule, not the exception."
    --Joseph Matheny

"When I was a kid I thought hacking was all about writing Matrix-like code,
when in reality it's just sending boomers e-mails that say 'give me your
passwords,' and they do."
    --Rock-N-Roll Cool

"Having literally sat in meetings in NATO HQ, the idea that NATO easily and
quickly agrees to things along some sort of cunning master plan is laughable.
It can take a decade for NATO to agree on the size of zippers."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"'But Burp Suite is better!' And once my annual income exceeds six figures,
I'll consider migrating."
    --Ranting Steve

"I also dabble in the realm of uncouth."
    --Opti

"Remember that this world doesn't have to remain a zero-sum nightmare tire
fire just because that's the main thing it has been."
    --Damian Williams, Technoccult News

"People are asking me why I endorsed the use of _We're Not Gonna Take It_ for
the Ukranian people and did not for anti-maskers.  Well, one use is for a
righteous battle against oppression; the other is an infantile feet stomping
against an inconvenience."
    --Dee Snider

"Nuance is not the strength of 280 characters."
    --Doctor Doug

❝We love to buy books because we believe we're buying the time to read them."
    --Warren Zevon

"To undermine the fundamental appeal of superheroes like Superman and Supergirl
by recasting them as anti-heroes at best or outright monsters - dragging
imaginary childhood paragons off their pedestals to reinforce a fairly facile
point about the tendency of real world heroes to exhibit feet of clay, struck
me and strikes me still as imaginatively lazy.  Using kids' adventure heroes
to make hackneyed observations about typical human behavior that does not in
fact apply to made up comic book characters strikes me as - I don't know -
whimsical?  Dilettantish?  A squandering of energy and creativity?"
    --Grant Morrison

"Netanyahu's reaction to his police's abuse of Pegasus reminds me of Merkel's
reaction to NSA mass surveillance: when the victims were 'merely' the global
public, she dutifully papered over it.  Only when her own name was discovered
on the target list did it become a true scandal."
    --Edward Snowden

As long as you fall in line with their goals, they don't care what you think
about them.

"Every few weeks, someone on Twitter notices how demented the content on
Facebook is.  I've covered a lot of these stories.  The quick TL;DR is that
Facebook's video section is essentially run by a network of magicians and
Vegas stage performers who hack the platform's algorithm with surreal
low-value content designed to distract users long enough to trigger an in-video
advertisement and anger them enough to leave a comment."
    --Ryan Broderick

"The only principled and sincere people in this shit are the targets who
actually have something at stake."
    --Puella Vulnerata, on the culture wars

"In a culture like ours, long accustomed to splitting and dividing all things
as a means of control, it is sometimes a bit of a shock to be reminded that,
in operational and practical fact, the medium is the message."
    --Marshall McLuhan

"I've seen more people recently saying things like ''I can't tell what's
real'' and ''I don't know what to take seriously and what's a joke/satire''
than ever before, and this among the most alarming things I've seen in a very
long time.  This is the end goal of information warfare."
    --Caroline Orr Bueno, Ph.D

"Many people give what they can privately.  That is not cowardice.  You don't
know what others can do, and what they have done.  Please be as generous with
other's privacy as you are with your funds."
    --Walter Williams

"Bank websites direly need a checkbox for 'I have ADHD' that makes them not
log you out after twelve seconds of inactivity."
    --Eevee

"Weight, diet, and exercise are the neoliberal substitute for actual public
health.  There's a reason we're so obsessed with them: Because we're not
allowed to have a systemic public health response that cares for all of us
from the ground up.  That's not what our society is for."
    --Michelle Allison

"Docker is 'sudo' with the serial numbers filed off."
    --Chronos

"The thing is, if someone wants to break the rules...they will?  Like adding
more rules won't stop them.  They'll just find a way that sidesteps the rules."
    --MattBatt

"3D printing is an entire industry that doesn't ever ask 'why?', it asks 'why
not?'  And then it usually goes ahead even after there's a good reason why not."
    --Foone

"Jesus fuck, Twitter encourages you to be as uncharitable as humanly possible
when trying to understand other people."
    --Pookleblinky

"Honestly, at beginning of the pandemic I (naively) thought ''Hey, I'm a
professional immunologist!  I have practical knowledge for once and I can help
guide people through this mess and make a difference!''  Instead, it's turned
into an endless slog against disinformation, and the saddest part for me is no
one gives a fuck about my credentials and people just believe what they want
to believe - what they saw from some random person on social media or from an
obvious quack promoting bogus facts and treatments.  The fact that Dr. Anthony
Fauci, previously the most respected medical voice in the country, has been
absolutely demonized, receives death threats is goddamned fucking insanity."
    --Alexander Dent

"I dream of a day I can open this app and not see infosec Twitter eating
itself.  I dream of a day that people can behave, keep their hands and
offensive comments to themselves.  I dream of coming together to fight the
baddies, not each other.  Today is not that day.  Be well friends."
    --Malicious Link

"I thought I was signing up for cognitive behavioral therapy but now my nuts
are absolutely killing me."
    --@jephjacques

"Some people on this website really just do not conceptualize anybody else as
an actual *person*, do they?"
    --Blue Space Canary

"I can almost physically feel when a tweet goes over that line where people
see it more as disembodied content rather than words written by a human and
you get The Bad Replies"
    --Sy Brand

"Not everyone is part of the same whisper networks.  Direct your outrage at
the people who knew and didn't do anything about it the whole time.  Being
shocked isn't the same as denial, it's the beginning of processing it on face
value."
    --Arlieth

"Finance doesn't like how much our observability tools cost.  For whatever
reason they also didn't like my alternative suggestion to ''just wait until
we see revenue impacts.''"
    --DevSadOps

"More about programming is aesthetics than people like to admit, and 'repo
that warns when built' vs. 'repo that builds cleanly and passes all tests' is
an aesthetic difference, not necessarily a functional one."
    --@workingjubilee

"If postmodernism is the substitute for the sixties and the compensation for
their political failure, the question of utopia would seem to be a crucial
test of what is left of our capacity to imagine change at all."
    --Josh Toth

"Sometimes I still think about how Twitter spent a whole week being mad at a
mom for writing an article on Mother's Day about being glad she had kids."
    --Edward Snowden

"Write like nobody's reading."
    --Leo Laporte

"In retrospect, I'm glad we 'grew up tall and proud, in the shadow of the
mushroom cloud' as the man sang, because if I hadn't known assholes could just
kill us all any moment they wanted, and ''ha ha there's nothing you can do,
so let's drink some beer, get some weed, watch MTV, and fuck'' I'd clearly be
crazy by now."
    --Digital Mark

"The secret of life is to die before you die and find that there is no death."
    --Eckhart Tolle, _The Power of Now_

"Does anyone else ever get their junk all gussied up to go raw dog on some
unholy amalgamation of technology and then stop to think 'exactly how did I
end up in this situation?'  Or is that just me?"
    --buttplug.io

"It's easy to forget, but we, a weird-ass community of friends and hackers
joined with the most infamous hacking supergroup of all time to save the
future."
    --the_gibson

"If the Keurig Supreme is a proper coffee maker, then I'm a burlesque dancer
standing in tonight for Dita Von Teese."
    --J. Michael Straczynski

"Bitcoin is the continuation of politics by other means."
    --Edward Snowden

"I do my retrocomputing in TurboBasicXL, which allows all lowercase like a
modern, civilized language.  But I would *never* do so.  BASIC, like REXX,
only looks right in CAPSLOCK."
    --Digital Mark

"The world is run by private equity."
    --Herb

"The handling of this virus has been an effective solvent for a lot of things
I preferred to believe about the world."
    --Tom Jackman

"The best part about anything getting on people's nerves and seeing the quote
tweets explode is the excitement that comes with knowing how many tweets you
get to read explaining your own joke back to you."
    --Ben Dreyfuss

"Welcome to America, where everything has been outsourced to ghosts."
    --Arclight

"I remember when people were trying to negotiate a compromise on encryption
backdoors, by suggesting governments should hack their targets instead.  Guess
they took you up on it."
    --Matthew Green, on NSO Pegasus spyware being used against social leaders,
      journalists, mayors, and other reasonably important-but-not-famous
      people

"Anyone that says game development is a waste of time is completely mistaken.
They don't understand the value of helping another human being find an escape
from the hell hole this life can be."
    --Amir Rajan

"So far, state-sponsered cyberwar appears to be reproducing the technical
achievements of 1990's website defacements with less humor value."
    --m0lpe

"For a decision to be 'bad', a better option must exist.  If all choices will
yield bad outcomes, it's just a shitty situation.  And having to deal with
shitty situations is not a moral failing, it's life."
    --Hasufin

"Bitcoin increasingly makes the internet feel like a neighborhood where a
cult bought the old rec center at the end of the road and turned it into their
cult compound."
    --Quinn Norton

"Never talk shit to old-school telephony people.  I've seen only portals into
the madness and you have no conception of the chaos in their minds.  Pay
respects to people who built your world."
    --Swift On Security

"A lot of people into this bs [cryptocurrency] are experiencing the panic and
cognitive dissonance associated with late capitalism removing any chance of
upward mobility.  They are thrashing around for a ladder that was promised but
never delivered and this is where a fair few wound up."
    --@karm_uh_

"National Archives confirms that records recovered from Trump at Mar-a-Lago
included classified national security information.  But her emails."
    --Brian Tyler Cohen

"If your child shows warning signs like using compiled languages or 'hex
editors' please invest early in therapy."
    --@scanlime

"What I like about having pink hair is that it makes me less attractive to
precisely the kind of people I don't want to be attracted to me."
    --@clairemax

"''Don't be evil'' was essentially a warrant canary.  Its disappearance
signified ''we are no longer in a position of making choices about whether or
not we are evil''."
    --Chaosprime

"We're closer to the end of time_t than we are to the first tweets."
    --Mikko Hypponen

"People who tell me to 'do my research' are advised to do their research on my
research before owning themselves in fabled manner."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"Reminder: Unless you actually work for the DoD, an intelligence agency, or
something similar, it's perfectly OK for you to not have an insight into what's
about to happen in Ukraine."
    --Matt Blaze

"There's still something timeless about both the wackiness and innocence of so
many early Internet pioneers sending up a badly translated game.  And in an
age where widely disseminated memes so often descend into cruelty or shock
value, it's nice to look back at an age when memes were merely quite stupid."
    --Sam Machkovech, on the All Your Base meme turning old enough to drink

"In the old days I feel like nerds smoked a lot of bad weed from a dragon
bong and painted original wizards named like Splendric the Wise and now they
vape corporate weed with their Warner Brothers licensed Funko Pops, and that's
what's wrong with society."
    --@hunktears

"What you've got is a gazillion people exploiting all this technology that was
invented in the ARPA/PARC community, and most of them are not even curious.
You have Tim Berners-Lee, who was a physicist, who knew he would be thrown out
of physics if he didn't know what Newton did.  He didn't check to find out that
there was a [Douglas] Engelbart.  And so, his conception of the World Wide Web
was infinitely tinier and weaker and terrible.  His thing was simple enough
with other unsophisticated people to wind up becoming a de facto standard,
which we're still suffering from."
    --Alan Kay

"Just seeking clarification before I make it work anyway."
    --the_gibson

"In order for nonviolence to work, your opponent has to have a conscience."
    --Stokely Carmichael/Kwame Ture

"Don't be fooled by the idea of getting to the bottom of things, that's only
a mirage."
    --Aime Michel

"I want to shoot my pants off here, but just my pants."
    --PJ, SGDQ 2017

"TECHNICALLY it's only Greek fire if it's the closely-guarded Byzantine state
secret recipe deployed through a hose attached to a boiler on a ship.
Otherwise it's just sparkling napalm."
    --alpine_thistle

"Never doubt the power of a small dedicated group to make combustible lemons."
    --the_gibson

"The Prince sigil IS the unpronounceable fourth letter in the Tetragrammaton.
That is why he spontaneously joined the Jehovah's Witnesses!  He was trying to
TELL US THE LOCATION OF MAUVE ZONE."
    --Forrest Gummo

"It's so stupid it circles back around again to evil.  That's the dream."
    --Tony, _Real Life Comics_

"I am not a human interface between DBs!"
    --Anonymous Cow-orker

Common sense always smells like a fed.
    --me

"On a Stack Overflow answer, I just read 'If I misunderstood your question and
this was not the direction you want, I apologize' and for a brief moment I
felt hope for us all."
    --Marcus Gordonus

"Repair, reuse, make something ridiculous."
    --ajroach

"Put ideas of civic virtue and psychopathology aside."
    --_The Dictator's Handbook_, Bruce Bueno de Mesquita and Alastair Smith

"You can mislead people, you just can't disappoint them."
    --Lain

Every accusation is a confession.

"Tired: Transitioning as a statement of personal agency.  Wired: Transitioning
to invalidate the ID that was in the OPM breach."
    --Huginn

"Reprehensible does not equal unconstitutional."
    --Chris Leibig, defense attorney, on police using forged DNA records to
      coerce confessions

Murphy's law cares not where you're from or what species you are.

"From 'We made this stack to help computers seamlessly interoperate' to ''We
gotta stop bots from using our service because you can't sell product to a
shell script.''"
    --Pompolic

"Visualize journalists not being auxiliaries for the police and military."
    --Joe Dunman

"Correlation is not causation, but it is useful for prediction."
    --@32bis

"It's all SMD LEDs anyway, that's not going to be fun to desolder.  BUT WE DO
THESE THINGS NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE EASY, BUT BECAUSE WE GOTTA."
    --Foone

"So many wild contradictions within capitalism end up boiling down to ''If you
give people free time, they might learn things we don't approve of if they
aren't already on our side (many 'professionals')''."
    --@nirebryce

"There's no profit in freedom.  Profit comes from having restrictions, then
charging for them to be relaxed."
    --Eevee

"In the 50's - 60's they created a highly educated and prosperous generation
of Americans, who then turned around and mounted a concerted attack on capital
and class power.  Capital is willing to settle for sub-optimal results to
prevent a reoccurrence."
    --@zacbracz

"Always take a copy of the default Kali ssh key because a lot of people don't
bother updating it and you never know when you might come across a Kali box."
    --@bullsecsecurity

"Whistleblowing will probably likely destroy you, and if it doesn't, the
people you blow the whistle on will certainly keep at it."
    --Cher Scarlett

"From what I can see, getting promoted at a big tech company is roughly four
times harder than getting that job at another company."
    --Corey Quinn

"I just saw someone meticulously sanitize a shopping cart with antiseptic
wipes before walking into the grocery store without a mask in case you're
wondering why the pandemic still isn't over."
    --Andrew Weinstein

"You have to be 100% in alignment with FSF's orthodoxy on 'software freedom.'
Any other opinions you might hold are not relevant, however."
    --Kelly Kinkade

"Continually amused by blockchain proponents who are fundamentally unable to
understand that there exist people for whom money is not the #1 motivator.
But yeah, the person who's spent over a decade making more than 100,000
Wikipedia edits for no financial compensation is probably in it for the cash."
    --Molly White

"There are people who, years ago, made a choice to help someone, be a better
person, advocate for justice, walk in a protest, volunteer, and show
compassion.  I don't know their names but their acts live on.  We don't need
to be famous to make a better world.  Just present, and kind."
    --Tarah Wheeler

"Your periodic reminder that CULT OF THE DEAD COW is not just about 'hacking'.
It's artists, musicians, writers, makers, hackers and politicians making crazy
shit happen so we don't have to just watch the world burn.  And we gave Ronald
Reagan Alzheimer's because he deserved it."
    --Dildog

"I should have known better than to make any reference whatsoever to something
that influences large aspects of my life on Twitter without being prepared to
discuss and debate my entire existence and how I describe it with strangers."
    --Sarah Kurchak

"The dictum of our contemporary culture is ''if you're not a unit of reliably
exploitable use-value then you're nothing.''"
    --Joseph Matheny

"It is so much simpler to bury reality than it is to dispose of dreams."
    --Don DeLillo, _Americana_

"They (the new generation of corporations) are all going for the 'Amazon'
model now which is hemorrhage money for, like, a decade, strangling all
competitors that can't afford to do that until you become an integral part of
modern society that people can't psychologically comprehend a world without
your company."
    --@jimmy_rickets

"Apparently a significant portion of humans out there just close their eyes
and it's quiet.  Like, their brains are SILENT.  Before bed.  Any time.  An
abyss of solace.  I am haunted by this.  HAUNTED.  My brain is a 24/7 Bosch
painting in 8D sound."
    --Natania Barron

"John Belushi was an extreme experience even by my standards."
    --Keith Richards

"We want policymakers and press to fear us."
    --Drew Herdener, communications executive, Amazon 

"What a stupid son of a bitch."
    --Joe Biden, on Peter Doocy

"Being called a normie for my strong NFT opinions by people who want to turn
the web into a baseball card scrapbook, truly astounding."
    --Eevee

"Is there anything more cruelly Puritanical than enshrining a sexual ideal
that leaves a person unable to enjoy sex?"
    --RS Benedict, _Everyone Is Beautiful and No One Is Horny_

"I sometimes worry that some people are incapable of allowing other people
their harmless pleasures."
    --Benjamin Dreyer

"What the Web3 crowd wants is way more insidious: They want to turn everything
into tradable assets.  Because capitalism needs new lands to accumulate."
    --@tante

"When you're the only person who responds to your posts, that's a REALLY bad
sign."
    --Rev. Ivan Stang

"Billionaires rich of data, now upset poor people are data rich."
    --Tim Kaupas

"You know why nobody knows who I am?  Because I never got caught.  All the
best hackers, all the best phreakers in the world, we don't know who they are
because they never got arrested.  And they never went to prison.  This is why
you don't know who the best ones in the world are."
    --Susan Thunder

"'The poor are killing industries by not having money' is a very creative way
to avoid saying it's actually the rich who are killing industries by hoarding
wealth and privatizing everything."
    --@alsohunter

"If profs were capable of formatting their own shit, there'd be a lot less
co-authorships for junior researchers."
    --Anonymous

"Many people like to pretend they're moderate when in truth they don't give a
shit and just want the issues to all Go Away."
    --Hasufin

"[It] Still blows my mind that at least 5 million and probably more like 7
million people - and entirely possibly between 12 and 22 million people, holy
fucking shit - have died from One Shared Thing in less than two years and the
vast majority of y'all got so scared that all you could do was shut down as
hard and fast as you could and pretend like it wasn't happening... But at the
same time, knowing this kind of makes me wish the people demanding that we
'go back to normal' would just say ''I'm fine with thousands of people a day
dying from one single cause especially if they're disabled,'' they could save
the rest of us some time."
    --Damian Williams, Technoccult News

"I have come to the conclusion that a certain subset of the American
population would be more welcoming to an alien from another galaxy than to
one from another country."
    --Ciph3rdoc

"Too many Joe Rogans and not enough Carl Sagans."
    --Galactic Stone and Ironworks

"Wait, WTF... The Bengals are in the Super Bowl?  Ed, I need your
interpretation and translation of what is going on.  Did all the other teams
die?"
    --Seele

"It is an enormous mistake to think people only defend the rich because they
think one day they might be rich.  Conservative women don't defend the
patriarchy because they think one day they will be men.  They do so because
they believe in a natural hierarchy.  People defend the rich because they
believe in a society of masters and servants.  That's it.  Look at the Elon
Musk fanboys.  They don't want to be in charge themselves, they want Elon Musk
to be in charge and they want to serve him.  So they invent all sorts of
mythology around him to justify his natural superiority and position.  They
want a kind of feudalism."
    --Existential Comics

"Printers can sense fear."
    --Foone

"War is a profanity because, let's face it, you've got two opposing sides
trying to settle their differences by killing as many of each other as they
can."
    --Norman Schwarzkopf

"Rival cults put the simp in sympathetic magic.  The Church of the SubGenius
practices pimpaesthetic magic."
    --Dr. Uncle Onan Canobite

"One of the best rewards of moving into midlife is the priceless relief at
all the dumb shit you *didn't* do.  Everyone learns in their 20's how to
cringe at their past behavior.  But you learn in your 40's the real sweetness
of a bypassed fuckup."
    --Eros Discordia

"A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance floor by people
carrying razors."
    --Waldi Ravens

"They're gonna merge health insurance cards and credit cards into one card and
then call it 'health care reform'."
    --David Sirota

"My ability to dissociate has become too powerful.  Now I'm just watching the
fall of America like 'Hmm, yeah.  That happens to empires.' while I look for
dog hats on Amazon."
    --Mike Primavera

"Welcome to The Wired, where you can be anything you want.  Which is why
everyone is a catgirl."
    --Blackle Mori

"Never trust the programmer with a screwdriver - but always trust the
programmer with cat ears."
    --Niconiconi

"When people say why aren't there more women in STEM it's generally cos some
dudes with a beard came along and did what the women had been doing for years,
everyone pats the dudes on the back, and after a while even the strongest
women just get fed up with it."
    --Tanya Fish

"If 'vulnerable people are going to die,' is the government response to a
pandemic, you already know their climate policy."
    --Benjamin Perry

"Vigilance consumes our minds, and crowds out all the other cognitive tasks
like how do I make this world around me better for all of us?"
    --Miss Amy

"The first requirement of being added to any team developing new ML/AI is
'Have you SEEN the internet?'"
    --@markbrokeit

"They call it a 'bus factor' and not a 'found-a-better-job factor' because
management would rather imagine workers being killed than finding a better
job."
    --Fitzgen

"My stepson said there's nothing weirder than a methhead being antivax.
''They'll make meth using ammonia or bleach, they'll inject anything else, but
NOOO not a Covid vaccine.''  He does outreach at a church and is a recovered
addict himself (and he's vaxxed)."
    --Simple Nomad

"'I find this fact very interesting' is one of those phrases in the pandemic
times that usually means there's a conspiracy theory coming and you should get
out of the conversation now."
    --Quinn Norton

"Dune is such a well loved scifi setting among many techies because it shows
a future utopia where we've finally come to our senses and banned computers.
No one on Arrakis has ever had to fix a printer and you can see it in their
smiles."
    --Foone

"Regimes take advantage of data sources that exist, they're not magic."
    --Matthew Green

"Go share that page on the orange website, or Reddit, or Facebook or whatever.
You know, the things that killed the Internet."
    --@violenceworks

"When books are run out of school classrooms and libraries I'm never much
disturbed.  Not as a citizen, not as a writer, not even as a schoolteacher,
which I used to be.  What I tell kids is, don't get mad, get even.  Don't
spend your time waving signs or carrying petitions around the neighborhood.
Instead, run, don't walk to the nearest non-school library or the local
bookstore and get whatever it was that they banned.  Read whatever they're
trying to keep out of your eyes and your brain because that's exactly what you
need to know."
    --Stephen King

"Being an SRE (site reliability engineer) is just asking 'is that localtime
or UTC' over and over until you retire."
    --@missamytobey

"Childhood is deep and rich.  It's vital, mysterious and profound.  I remember
my own childhood vividly.  I knew terrible things, but I knew I mustn't let
adults know I knew.  It would scare them."
    --Art Spiegelman and Mauice Sendak, 27 September 1997

"OH from some 90's hackers: 'I hacked NASA' is straight up there with 'I had
a newspaper route.'"
    --Weld Pond

"Marx failed to predict that even in a post-scarcity world a bunch of morons
would still try to scam each other out of money so they could 'own' shitty
pictures of monkeys.  Actually, Marx specifically talked about how capitalism
would be forced to create artificial scarcity, but for the sake of the joke
format you have to say he failed to predict all the stuff that he actually
predicted quite accurately."
    --Existential Comics

"Perception is more important than reality.  If someone perceives something to
be true, it is more important than if it is, in fact true.  This doesn't mean
you should be duplicitous or deceitful, but don't go out of your way to correct
a false assumption if it plays to your advantage."
    --Ivanka Trump

"Crawling, incidentally, I think is the biggest issue with making a new search
engine these days.  Websites flat out refuse to support any crawler [other]
than Google, and Cloudflare and other protection services and CDN's flat out
deny access to incumbents.  It is not a level playing field."
    --Ben E.C Boyter, on writing a search engine

"There's only one kind of people who would vote to ban _Maus_."
    --Neil Gaiman

"People seriously discussing the footwear of candy mascots.  Like, come on,
guys.  Be productive with your time.  I'm just imagining some dude spending
his last moments on earth drafting an unfinished tweet about M&Ms.  Carpe
diem."
    --Edward Snowden

Rich men don't come to buy.  They come to take.

"Real computers are increasingly second-class citizens these days, even as
clients."
    --Viktor Dukhovni

"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent
psychopath who knows where you live."
    --Martin Golding

"Totalitarianism in power invariably replaces all first-rate talents,
regardless of their sympathies, with those crackpots and fools whose lack of
intelligence and creativity is still the best guarantee of their loyalty."
    --Hannah Arendt, _The Origins of Totalitarianism_

"NFTs are just Beanie Babies for people who get mad whenever there are black
women in Star Wars."
    --@guy_freire

"It's Twitter.  I have a character limit.  I'm not writing an essay.  Use
critical thinking skills."
    --@peachmilfshake

"Any sufficiently advanced neglect is indistinguishable from a human dieback
scenario."
    --Emily Dare

"We are experiencing the expansion of disposability and that will always be
framed as inevitability."
    --Kelly M. Hayes

"'Scorpion venom is one of the most expensive liquids in the world, costing
around $39 million a gallon.' So almost as expensive as inkjet printer ink."
    --Charles Stross

"Multivariate analysis indicates that economic elites and organized groups
representing business interests have substantial independent impacts on U.S.
government policy, while average citizens and mass-based interest groups have
little or no independent influence."
    --Martin Gilens and Benjamin I. Page, _Testing Theories of American
      Politics_

"I guess I failed to take into account that everyone is bad and nothing can
just be ok."
    --Brennan

"This is the media, an irresponsible media.  It will make the criminal look
like he's the victim and make the victim look like he's the criminal.  If you
aren't careful, the media will have you hating the people who are being
oppressed and loving the people doing the oppressing.  This is a sort of
propaganda tactic that I would call psychological warfare."
    --Malcolm X

"The climate crisis reveals that our civilization has never really been
organized around science, contrary to the usual Enlightenment narrative.  It
is organized around capital.  Science is embraced when it serves the
interests of capital, and is often ignored when it does not."
    --Jason Hickel

"A can of tuna is just a soda with chunks in it."
    --Infernus Goatus

"Once most revolutionaries come to power, their inclination - if they can get
away with it - is to be petty dictators."
    --_The Dictator's Handbook, Why Bad Behavior is Almost Always Good
      Politics_, Bruce Bueno de Mesquita, Alastair Smith

"''I'm still functioning?  What have I become...'' is a failure mode of the
idea that bearing witness and performing empathy obligate taking damage.  It's
ok to be ok, and we don't hear that a lot anymore.  So long as we are all
caring about each other, and accepting that for some folks it will viscerally
hit hard, it is not a sin to not be viscerally hit hard if that happens to
be your lot."
    --Feonixrift

"If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn
more, do more, and become more, then, you are an excellent leader."
    --Dolly Parton

"Kids aren't depressed because they missed school.  They're depressed because
they understand that nobody gives a fuck about their lives.  They understand
exactly what's going on."
    --Natou

"Extremely relatable to look at reality and think 'Nah... this feels like a
mistake.'"
    --Emmy Trashfire

"It's true that there's no ethical consumption under capitalism but another
thing nobody really talks about is that it doesn't matter if you buy it or
not, production is just totally uncoupled from demand now."
    --Alice Avizandum

"It's going to be lulz-o-tron 2000 funny when the list of intelligence agents
and now-compromised assets working for Twitter compiled by Guo Wengui leaks."
    --@rocco_castoro

"A consistent problem with media coverage of extremists is the bias toward
false gravity.  News organizations downplay or omit public figures' bizarre
beliefs to seem more sober and grave, thus granting them greater dignity and
credibility, though sunlight might demystify them."
    --Jason Colavito

"Computer culture used to be 'information wants to be free', now it's 'how
can I bring ownership to things you can't own?'"
    --@afivegantenna

"It's not cynicism if they're truly that awful."
    --David Schmitt

"I guess it was completely unforeseeable that the incredibly important economy
wouldn't thrive with its entire workforce sick."
    --Kirsty Webeck

"You can't build a surveillance capability and then tell well-meaning people
''Hey, using this data could save lives and help people, but we shouldn't do
that because <abstract principle>.'' If you believe in those principles, don't
build the damn thing in the first place."
    --Matthew Green

"One way to think of the US is as a Rube Goldberg machine made out of perverse
prisoner's dilemma incentives, with each person finding it completely rational
and necessary to choose to to fuck themselves over."
    --Pookleblinky

"I'm treating an unprecedented number of patients on life support in emergency
rooms, with nowhere to send them.  I'm a critical care doc, and NOT a
toxicologist, but it's my opinion that if you say that omicron is just a mild
'cold,' you are probably smoking crack."
    --Dr. Steven M. Brown, MD

"I hate it when people say ''it's not that deep.''  Everything is exactly as
deep as you're willing to look.  Quit being lazy."
    --Tsundoku Psychohazard

"In the long run, Democrats may find that they are bringing a ballot to a
gunfight."
    --thecollective

"No JavaScript frameworks were created during the writing of this article."
    --Jose' Aguinaga

"Please point me to the governments being better, because all I see is a world
on fire, failing to deal with a pandemic?"
    --Mavis River

"If you can't use a thing to buy porn, that thing is not a currency."
    --jwz

"I didn't get into infosec so I can play by your damn rules."
    --Everyone in information security

"When there is no more food being thrown into the bucket, the lobsters inside
will realize that their fellow lobsters are made out of food."
    --Nicholas Sarwark

"I'm very glad you found a way for me to blame protobuf for this."
    --Anonymous

"I quite enjoy when private spy companies don't delete the metadata on their
PDFs.  I'm supposed to have to work harder than this."
    --Scott Stedman

"If at first you don't succeed, add sudo and try again."
    --Katie Paxton-Fear

"'Corporate vs independent' is the new 'sheep vs free thinker,' a transparently
self-serving (and falsely dichotomous) way of viewing the world that ensures
one is always insulated to differing views because they can always be dismissed
as innately bad faith and/or irrational."
    --Cory Massimino

"Me: Look at this bug I found in mature, well-tested code, it completely blows
apart the memory protection, I am a genius, I am a goddess, I am - wow, has my
shirt been on inside-out all day?"
    --0xabad1dea

"Metaverse stuff really pisses me off because I was told my entire life that
it is 'wrong to live in a fantasy world' and that my hobbies and interests
were 'unhealthy escapism' but as it turns out all they were really mad about
was that my imagination wasn't properly monetized."
    --MiniMatt

"It's mind-blowing to me that people think we can make Mars livable when we
apparently can't keep the Earth livable."
    --Lux Alptraum

"With all due respect to the developers of that metaverse Walmart, I think
Hieronymus Bosch did it better."
    --@mathew

"Rule 53: If you can think of it, someone's done it in the DNS."
    --Peter Lowe

"Bannned from Metaverse Walmart for going in there with a cat person avatar
whose shaders run a Linux kernel on other peoples' GPUs."
    --Porygon

"Memories are made of the past, and hopes are part of the future."
    --Barbara Karnes, RN

"Besides, the planet is going to get engulfed by the sun in five billion
years!  And after that, the universe is going to have a heat death!  So nothing
that happens in the meantime is that big a deal.  (If I had a nickel for every
time a Silicon Valley millionaire said something like this about why they
weren't using their money to solve the problems they believed were most
important to solve, I might be a Silicon Valley millionaire.)"
    --silsyn-wathep

"You're not really lying if the lies you tell are counter to other lies."
    --Edward Bernays

"Look mister/missy I don't know who you think you are but this is America,
leave our corporations alone.  They are just a small mom and pop business
trying to put their kids through school off your tracking cookies and
personally identifying information..."
    --Cyber Slacker

"This high-profile vulnerability in an open source project is really
reinforcing my belief that, to a dominant portion of users, the primary
important thing about free software is that it is gratis, rather than libre."
    --cron mom

"Meaningless platitudes are the true currency of open source."
    --Vaibhav Sagar

"Personally I'm in favour of vulnerability disclosure in ways that impact
Minecraft as people might care then; going to BlackHat is like shouting at
each other in a goldfish bowl."
    --Kevin Beaumont

"Mark Meadows put together a PowerPoint for Trump's coup attempt and the media
has moved on in 24 hours.  But yeah, Hillary's emails."
    --Jack Cocchiarella

"One of the most sinister things the right has achieved in US history is
convincing half the country that 'politics' is some abstract, theoretical
thing wholly separated from a person's identity and morality.  This is how
you get so many white conservatives breathlessly trying to debate the right
for certain people to exist.  They've turned politics into a game, like its
a debate club match.  Some of them actually believe you can just turn
'politics' off like a light switch.  Those on the right cannot fathom that
politics can mean life or death for certain groups because the entire history
of America has inoculated them against this concept.  They're surprised when
people choose not to interact with them.  It is a genuine SHOCK.  Whats even
worse is that the right will tell you directly what they believe, even if
its heinous and unhinged, and then still act shocked and insulted when you
call them out for it.  As if disagreeing with their fascism is worse than
the fascism itself."
    --Wootmaster

"I'm missing some vital context in the Nancy Reagan discourse today and I
want it to stay that way."
    --Patrick Tomlinson

"Twitter is LDAP for millennials."
    --Glyph

"I've come to the sad conclusion that a lot of people in the US and UK are
actually opposed to democratic values."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"Up until recently you could be like 'I think most humans are good' and it'd
sound reasonable because you only knew 150 people.  The average Youtube
comment or Twitter reply thread would drive a medieval optimist mad."
    --Pookleblinky

"I think the reason Twitter no longer sparks joy is that I never meant to get
this far into the weeds in the first place.  I came here to shitpost and
chill and then people started following me for my good takes and now I have
to frenetically manufacture nuance constantly."
    --Amberite

"I'm sure I would get more traction if I tweeted gentle, supportive writing
advice, but my only advice is fuck 'em all.  Life is too short.  Nobody has
time.  Everyone is broke.  Everything sucks.  Write what you want to write
and anybody telling you to quit goes in the bin."
    --Magen Cubed

"The reason It's a Wonderful Life (1946) holds up so well is that George's
line, 'You know how long it takes a working man to save $5000?' has somehow
not aged even slightly."
    --@sovietdisco

"The most absurd thing about the finland PM story is the idea that there's a
36 year old who wants to go clubbing.  IDK I guess maybe universal healthcare
means that you don't feel like you're rapidly decaying the moment you turn 27."
    --Lauren Shippen

"Whoever controls the media, controls the mind."
    --Jim Morrison

"It's funny that 'having sincere interests and hobbies' is coded as queer,
feminine, autistic, etc.  As if the cishet allistic dude's ideal past-time
is staring at a wall until he falls asleep."
    --Pookleblinky

"Who needs coffee when Twitter can throat punch you before 10am?"
    --@annaliese119

"I thought we'd all agree that deadly viruses are bad enough to be worth
doing something about, but then again, I also thought we'd all agree that
school shootings are bad enough to be worth doing something about."
    --Matt Blaze

"Nothing in life will radicalize a person faster than a medical diagnosis in
America.  Turns out dehumanizing people for having disorders and a lifetime of
stress and trauma is an excellent way to make sure people wanna burn your
system to the ground.  I quite like this idea. The US version of 'radical'
is just called 'common sense' everywhere else on Earth."
    --Scrooge McFuck

"I did not have 'corporate interests reinvent second life 20 years later but
worse in every possible way, and a bunch of nerds act like this is
revolutionary and inevitable' on my bingo card."
    --Eevee

"People really underestimate how dystopian the United States is."
    --Kate Aronoff

"People who long for the log cabin always forget the outhouse."
    --Jim Lockard

"I had no life plan for past 30.  I didn't think I'd be dead, I just had never
wanted to or felt able to make one.  Perhaps not coincidentally, most of what
I'd built fell apart at precisely 30.  Now, I haven't reestablished a norm -
but the world doesn't have norms now, so it's fine."
    --Dr. Ellie Lockhart

"When the men with guns who have always claimed to be against the system start
wearing uniforms and marching with torches and pictures of a leader, the end
is nigh.  When the pro-leader paramilitary and the official police and
military intermingle, the end has come."
    --Timothy Snyder, _On Tyranny_

"Having an open mind means you are willing to be proven wrong, not that you
automatically believe everything anyone says to you."
    --Eevee

"Anyone who ever wondered, 'How could so many East Germans have cooperated
with the Stasi?' should join Nextdoor."
    --Matthew Feeney

"'Which side of your mouth do you chew with?' is a good litmus test for class
solidarity because if someone goes 'What do you mean, which side?' you know
they grew up rich."
    --Pookleblinky

"Modern art is a reflection of how we've lost faith in western civilization."
    --Paul Joseph Watson

"If everyone actually read papers, including reviewers, genomics would be a
lot better off."
    --Lior Pachter

"Sometimes, when I'm not even mad, I'll dramatically stand up and yell 'This
is bullshit!' before walking out of a room for no reason."
    --the_gibson

"War's a kind of negotiation too."
    --James S. A. Corey, _Tiamat's Wrath_

"Amazing how at this point in technology small Fediverse instances based in
somebody's home have a greater availability than a multi-billion dollar cloud
network."
    --Finn

"A negative ethic is centered around thou-shalt-not.  It tells you what you
should not do.  A positive ethic is centered around thou-shall.  It tells you
what you should do.  Modern ethics emphasizes the negative ethic to the
point that we are adrift and directionless.  We know not to do things, but
have no idea what we should be doing, and are attracted to various
distractions that lead us away from 'the good life'."
    --Lowd Bowlich

"Measure twice.  Cut as many times as it takes.  Dremel."
    --Gardevoir

"The most 2021 thing in the world is standing in front of an automatic door,
trying to be more opaque somehow so it opens and eventually realizing the
store is closed."
    --zpojqwfejwfhiunz

"Tech doesn't invent anything.  It only repackages and resells old things
endlessly."
    --Socketwench

"Team DevOps: It's like Nyancat, but sad and underslept."
    --Anonymous

"Yeah, everything is problematic as shit.  Everything is all fucked up all
the time.  The music is still beautiful."
    --celesteh, on the CIA's involvement in the arts during the cold war

"When [the virgin] Mary takes a cue from Kali, heads will roll!"
    --Unknown

"I'm just eating a sandwich, man!  I was thinking.  I had some stuff going on.
I was hungry."
    --Keanu Reeves

"First rule of Linux admin: If you're not awake enough to spell sudo, you're
not allowed to use sudo."
    --Foone

"I sometimes think that we see things like the ML bubble or the different
web3 stacks because Software Engineers are bored building CRUD apps instead
of the $COOLSHIT they were playing with in college and thought would be their
careers."
    --Lord Bowlich

"What haunts me is that I am just not smart enough for so many people to be
this much stupider than I am."
    --Kate Harding

"After so many years on the internet, it should not surprise me to see people
dismissing Dwight D. Eisenhower's criticisms of the Military-Industrial
Complex as merely the uninformed opinion of some guy who obviously doesn't
understand war, but here we are."
    --Edward Snowden

"Mere incantation of the phrase 'national security' does not, and should not,
in and of itself justify violations of the speedy trial right.  Likewise, the
terms 'complex discovery' and 'translation difficulties' should not stand
stead for the term 'national security.'"
    --Carlos Lucero, judge, Tenth Circuit Appeals Court

"The adult is not the highest stage of development.  The end of the cycle is
that of the independent, clear-minded, all-seeing Child.  That is the level
known as wisdom."
    ---_The Tao of Pooh_, Benjamin Hoff

"Heavy borrowing is a feature of small coalition settings.  It is not the
result, as some economists argue, of ignorance of basic economics by
third-world leaders."
    --_The Dictator's Handbook, Why Bad Behavior is Almost Always Good
      Politics_, Bruce Bueno de Mesquita, Alastair Smith

"This is 202x.  Presenting your data objects with consistent unique
identifiers is NOT a big ask."
    --Feonixrift

"We are living among the leftovers of a recent mass extinction."
    --_Anarchy Evolution: Faith, Science, and Bad Religion in a World Without
      God_, Greg Graffen and Steve Olson

"Everybody trying to PvP when the game is PvE."
    --Edward Snowden

"It's just hilarious to me that the people I know who are both involved in
San Francisco local politics and are also very online engage in said politics
by doing things like running botnets, sock puppet accounts, OSINT'ing and
doxxing local mom groups and school board members, making network analysis
maps of their enemies, and generally running influence ops against elected
officials via Twitter.  It's like a microcosm of so many things going on
right now."
    --Vortex Egg

"The stories that get told, and how, are largely determined by white editors;
the merit of a story or the reporting on it is assessed through their gaze.
Journalists of color often have to push white editors to recognize the
importance of covering these communities thoroughly and fairly.  This can be
an emotionally draining and challenging process, and ends up putting in extra
labor that white journalists don't need to in order to progress in their
careers.  Likewise, journalists of color often have to enter into a coded
negotiation process with editors about how much of the story can be told
without making White readers uncomfortable."
    --Chantal Flores

"No, I don't think this joke is gonna land.  ATC: Requesting a go-around on
runway A6."
    --Blackle Mori

"That style of humor I would call pizza-slicer comedy: All edge, no point."
    --unlofl

"Happy New Year.  I'm not the kind of person that believes that the change of
year has much to do with one's fate, but if the year alone started off by
crashing a bunch of Exchange servers, it can't be all that bad."
    --Command Line Magic

"Why do we always defend?  Tai Chi never actively attacks.  The _Art of War_
says 'Retreating when the enemy advances.'"
    --Bolo Yeung

"I won't lie, I definitely visited Pornhub on the Oculus browser soon after
I got my Quest so I could experience the fucked up 360 degree porn videos.
Anyone who can stop laughing long enough to crank it to one of those videos
is a prodigy."
    --Anonymous

"Vindicating my theory of the weeb to Numa Numa pipeline."
    --Whaang

"If we're ever called upon, we Americans can and will rise to the occasion
and be stupider than absolutely anybody."
    --Charles Band, _Confessions of A Puppet Master_

"Trying to shame Internet trolls is like using an asteroid strike on a black
hole."
    --@swiftonsecurity

"America isn't a country, it's a business."
    --@lacunalingua_3

"Y'all really think schools shifting online are the sole factors driving youth
mental health decline?  Not mass death, the casual selfishness of the adults
in their lives, the prolonged stress of pandemic life, the flip-flopping of
politicians who wield power over their lives..?  Not watching adults live it
up in restaurants, sports arenas, malls and bars while their education and
safety hangs in the balance?  Not the politicization of public health measures? 
Get real."
    --Simmi Jaswal

"I don't think Americans are smart enough to fix anything.  Decades of dumbing
down the population has it made it impossible to change anything."
    --@gonzo6664

"Who would've thought that the country that thinks public transportation is
an attack on your freedom would bungle a public health crisis so badly?"
    --@slackerpal

"Our culture's near insistence that illness is a personal failing explains a
lot about how the pandemic has been handled."
    --@nafinstabs

"Why do people say 'Grow some balls?'  Balls are weak and sensitive!  If you
really wanna get touch, grow a vagina!  Those things take a pounding!"
    --Betty White

"I mainly see hustlers looking for suckers."
    --Brian Eno, on NFTs

"The fact that the US can only stand about five (5) days of general striking
is useful information."
    --Sargoth

"Y'know, the disaster that COVID-19 has been in the US really makes a lot of
sense when you realize that many of the people leading the public health
response were involved in the response to HIV."
    --Ada Worchester

"Timezones are so weird.  Australia is in 2022, Canada is in 2021, and the
United States is in 1935."
    --Santiago Mayer

"There's this stereotype of society overdiagnosing ADHD to medicate children
into docility, but in fact the standard ADHD medications are all stimulants
that would make neurotypical children into nightmare gremlins from chaos hell."
    --Natalie Weizenbaum

"There is so little in this world that is 'innocent,' that is made by someone
entirely inoffensive for a company that is entirely unodious and the profits
aren't used for anything questionable."
    --@lostnotatsea

"You can turn any directional antenna into an omnidirectional antenna simply
by spinning it extremely quickly."
    --Blackle Mori

"Hi, I'm sure that whoever runs this account has no idea who I am, but I
founded Mozilla and I'm here to say fuck you and fuck this.  Everyone involved
in the project should be witheringly ashamed of this decision to partner with
planet-incinerating Ponzi grifters."
    --jwz, on the Mozilla Foundation partnering with a cryptcurrency outfit

"With a knife and a spoon, we can build a 3-element yagi antenna."
    --Ludovic Tyack

"We live in an economy, not a society.  If we were in a society, we would
share, re-use, and pass on things we used as parents onto the next family
which needs it, but capitalism wants us all to buy and then discard those
things, and so we are separated."
    --AK Faulkner

"The best New Year's resolution I ever made was to start devouring my nicest
things, and save no small pleasure for an unspecified future.  Now I burn the
good candles, wear the expensive perfume at home, and scribble imperfectly in
pretty notebooks.  You can't pin joy like a moth."
    --Holly Cassell

"What can I say?  I am one badass bitch."
    --Betty White

"Betty White is the one celebrity for whom I feel it is appropriate to enact
the Klingon death ritual of bellowing gutturally into the sky to warn the dead:
Beware, a Klingon warrior is about to arrive."
    --@emilyst

"Forever wondering if I'm truly far left or if I'm just an empathetic person
living in a late capitalist hellscape where I get called a commie for saying
''Hey, maybe poor people don't deserve to starve.''"
    --@therealrynnstar

"The Linux kernel has X.509 processing inside it.  We're all going to die."
    --Peter Gutmann

"Me reading Watchmen in 1987: Wow, Ozymandias represents a level of cynicism
about humanity that I could not have imagined.  Me reading Watchmen in 2021:
Wow, Ozymandias is a naive optimist."
    --Lilah Sturges

"If you're not funny, don't try to be."
    --SubGenius proverb

"The irony is not lost on me that this ARMSID probably has more power than
this entire [Commodore] 64."
    --Robin, _Robin's Digital Basement_

"There is without a doubt an art to wrapping leather.  An art I haven't learned
yet."
    --Odin Makes

"This may be history's first elective pandemic.  We know how to control it,
but have collectively chosen not to."
    --Matt Blaze

"A guy once sheepishly told me that for fun he enjoyed roleplaying with his
friends in a GTA Online motorcycle gang.  He made sure to cover his ass by
preemptively mocking himself for it.  I had to assure him that as a former
LARPer, I am legally not allowed to make fun of anyone for the ways they like
to play pretend."
    --Squeedoodle

Dibble's First Law of Sociology: Some do, some don't.

"People always say 'support women, support women', yet when I call for
artillery I get nothing????"
    --Rev. Poppy Haze

"By the standards of our great-grandparents, nearly all of us are coddled.
Each generation tends to see the one after it as weak, whiny, and lacking in
resilience.  Those older generations may have a point, even though these
generational changes reflect real and positive progress."
    --Greg Lukianoff, _The Coddling of the American Mind_

"You should not have a favourite weapon.  To become over-familiar with one
weapon is as much a fault as not knowing it sufficiently well."
    --Musashi Miyamoto, _Go Rin no Sho_

"Democrats keep thinking they can win over voters who hate them with better
policies.  We're dreaming.  Democrats are always asking, 'Why do Republicans
vote against their economic interests?'  Because they hate you."
    --Bill Maher

"A freeing phrase: 'I am not always the intended audience.'"
    --Shannon L. Miller

"Maybe AWS keeps going down because they run all their stuff on-prem."
    --Amit Gupta

"Open source has always practically functioned as a harmless pressure relief
valve for the idealism of young engineers who could be organizing their
workplace."
    --@scanlime

"''Stalin wasn't a monster'' is historical revisionism, and if you find
yourself excusing atrocity maybe take a step back?"
    --@mykola

"I haven't been posting much lately because living in dystopian society that
feels like it's on the brink of collapse is a lot harder than just playing a
game.  The world has been very dark, and I've been absent handling life.
But know this: There are still things to fight for - whether it's an ideal or
simply survival; for better or worse we're in it together.  The light at the
end of the tunnel may just be a dumpster fire leftover from the last riot...
but that's still enough."
    --@shadowrun_facts

"The Discordization of the Internet is fucking brutal.  I hate trying to find
information about any remotely niche topic only to discover it's hidden
somewhere within a Discord server with 80 channels at 50k posts per second."
    --Luke Correia

"The modern researcher must synergize the skill of the samurai and the
patience of the bureaucrat."
    --Joseph de Vine

"When 95% of your daily communication is controlled by US-based tech
corporations with zero accountability to anybody except fundamentalist
Christian lobbying groups, you no longer get a choice in the matter, you
*will* organize your life around those Puritan norms."
    --Sven Slootweg

"Anyway the moral of this story to me, and I'm being serious, is that sometimes
shit just sucks and you don't have to like it, but you also still have to bea good person."
    --Jordan Heath-Rawlings

"Rick Moranis cost me a lot of money because I ruined so many takes he was in
by helplessly breaking into loud laughter."
    --Mel Brooks, on the making of _Spaceballs_

"I need privacy.  Not because my actions are questionable, but because your
judgement and intentions are."
    --Anonymous

"As a measure of journalistic impact, the Pulitzer Prize holds significantly
less prestige than the CIA plotting to murder you."
    --Edward Snowden

"Use Signal.  Use Tor.  Use ProtonMail.  Unless you are stupid.  In that case,
even using these things won't help you evade law enforcement.  But they are
what smart people use to protect privacy."
    --@erratarob

"Watching pseudo-libertarians learn economics from first principles, one crash
at a time."
    --@vathpela

"Let's be honest with ourselves.  The audience for this document is the
auditors."
    --Accidental CISO, on just about any policy document in existence

"Twitter is a fractal maze of troll-infested cul-de-sacs.  Just when you think
you've seen every corner...  I once made a flat earth joke and was set upon by
a gang of round earth vigilantes.  Didn't even know such a thing existed.
Still disoriented from that."
    --Brian Goetz

"In secondary school, my chemistry teacher rescued me after absentmindedly
leaning over a Bunsen burner.  Shirt got burnt but not me.  Chemistry is the
action hero of the sciences for real."
    --Irwin Williams

"If your one-liner doesn't look like an excerpt from the Necronomicon, you're
not doing it right."
    --@get_innocuous

"Roger Ebert understood that both as a reviewer and as a critic, you have to
respond to how good a movie was at doing what it was TRYING to do."
    --Jonathan Korman

"The end of Moore's Law sure has changed their business plan.  I used to
gladly buy a new computer every year because it was so much faster and bigger
than my old one.  Now I *have* to buy one because the old one is broken and
deliberately unrepairable."
    --Phil Karn

"The only reason anyone lives in my head rent-free is because they are not
paying their rent and I have no legal framework to seek recompense without
appearing insane."
    --@hardscifimovies

"How do I get paid for being an intelligent but mediocre intellectual like
this guy? Does it only pay if you're on the far right?  I feel like I'm
working too hard."
    --Mallory Moore

"How does it feel to be part of one of the last generations before techciv
collapse that even has the opportunity to notice that they're being trained by
their phones' predictive text capabilities to express the same thoughts
everyone else is expressing."
    --@chaosprime

"I like the ouroboros character of online culture sometimes.  Like how calling
things 'cringe' is now an example of cringe.  Or how declaring things 'not a
personality' became a personality."
    --Kevin Baker

"Don't even come at me with these hypotheticals of what people might be doing.
People are fucking crazy here, and misinformation has taken over.  My city had
at least one mask burning event, and the city council formally said 'We can
google our own science.'"
    --Brett Kirk

"That moment when you realize doom scrolling infosec Twitter is part of your
job responsibilities."
    --Paul Masek

"I started stimulants at the same time as HRT because I realized since I'm no
longer a cis white dude I actually need to be competent at my job to not get
fired."
    --@likeClockwork

"Sometimes a God of Love and Forgiveness looks at a situation and goes ''Man,
that's fucked.  I need a whip to deal with this crap, I'll be back in a few
hours.''"
    --Foone

"You have to ask yourself: If our economic system actively destroys the
biosphere *and* fails to meet most people's basic needs, then what is actually
the point?"
    --Jason Hickel

"Nobody ever said ''I'm glad I didn't get vaccinated'' on their deathbed.
Probably because the ventilator was in the way."
    --Jeff Tiedrich

"The best career advice I ever received - not writing advice, of which I have
received roughly a metric shitton, but 'how to survive as a working writer'
advice - came from Todd McCaffrey the first time we met at a con.  ''Don't
quit your day job until you're sure you can survive off of your royalties.''"
    --Seanan McGuire

"You were preparing for the future but then the present happened."
    --Gradinko

"Coining 'yonedadaism' for the genre of categorical diagrams which are
impenetrable and indecipherable explosions of symbols and arrows.  You know
the ones."
    --@thorimur

"There's gotta be some Internet law that states no matter how beloved, benign,
or beneficial something is, if you post about it anywhere, someone will
eventually show up in the comments to explain to you why it's actually bad."
"The Milkshake Duck Doctrine."
    --Greg Newkirk and @filibusmeis

"Did humans REALLY build the New York City subway system?  At $1 billion per
mile in today's costs, how could primitive 20th century humans have built 850
miles of track?  Did they have ...extraterrestrial assistance?  Or did they
have some way of not spending a goddamn billion/mile?"
    --Paul Musgrave

"''Lindsay Lohan's fursona is directly contributing to the extinction of our
species'' is not a phrase I expected to ever say but here we are."
    --@subway_gorilla

"That time we open sourced a dependency to not have to deal with the necessary
key management to get a GitHub workflow to pull a git submodule from a private
repo."
    --Bryan Cantrill

"My son complained he's getting old (HA! He's 17) and I told him to look at it
this way - getting old means you're winning.  You're saying 'Suck it, Life!!
All that shit you threw at me and I'm still fucking here!'"
    --Amanda Winn Lee

"Some of us just have basic human empathy, Brendan.  Also a basic understanding
of economics and the impact usurious loans have on the entire economy but I
don't want to expect too much."
    --@leeflower

"I have the attention span of a child who has been let loose in a candy
factory run by robots that give out free flamethrowers upon entrance."
    --The Sassiest Semite

"Having a pet is basically just asking 'How did you get so cute?' followed by
'Why are you wet?' 6 or 7 times a day."
    --Sharyn Blum

"Reading infosec exploit descriptions is fun because you learn stuff like 'In
Windows, when you press the letter h, for some reason it calls a special
letter press subroutine which emulates a full Amiga running an emulated Doom,
if you go to level 3 it is possible to overflow the...'"
    --Dr. Ellie Lockhart

"America's just been continously hit in the face with Foucault's boomerang for
the past few decades."
    --Sophie Ladder

"What haunts me is that I am just not smart enough for so many people to be
this much stupider than I am."
    --Kate Harding

"Reminder: Reality is front-running Lovecraftian horror this century.  It's all
right to be upset and afraid: We really ARE ruled by monsters."
    --Charles Stross

"If we want the public to be healthy, we're going to have to give in one day
and invent a public health system."
    --Quinn Noton

"I will not pause the music I'm listening to so I can watch a damn video.
Write it the fuck down."
    --Soatok

"The entire content industry has successfully convinced us to use the word
'ownership' as a synonym for 'renting,' and this is a real problem."
    --Matthew Green

"The cloud is just smoke from outage fires."
    --c0debabe

"Every bit of complexity you add is a failure point."
    --Adam Savage

"The difference between the working-level and policy-level folks is, to an
embarassing degree, mostly just the awareness to avoid saying the quiet part
out loud."
    --Edward Snowden

"I do feel like the cyberpunk genre is getting so big that it's being seen as
an aesthetic, and the warning is being forgotten."
    --James Joseph

"One popular way of making money through cryptocurrency is to start a new
currency, while retaining a large chunk of it for yourself.  As a result,
there are now thousands of competing cryptocurrencies in operation, with
relatively little technical difference between them.  In order to succeed,
currency founders must convince people that their currency is new and
different, and crucially, that the buyer understands this while other less
savvy investors do not.  Wild claims, fanciful economic ideas and rampant
technobabble are the order of the day.  This is a field that thrives on
mystique, and particularly preys on participants' fear of missing out on the
next big thing."
    --Martin O'Leary

"Judges look at you funny if you sit on the stand as an expert and you look
like the Unabomber."
    --Kusuriya

"When the goblins have theodolites you know you're in trouble."
    --Puellavulnerata

"I suspect 'whipping people into a hateful fury against Muppets for political
purposes' may not be a sign of a healthy society."
    --Timescanner

"Look at what you can accomplish when you throw human death and suffering at
it until it's finished."
    --P.B.Gomez

"TSA agent said he really liked my Jordan 1's and was like ''You're good man,
no need to take them off,'' and not to brag, but do you know how nice your
sneakers need to be to offset the name Mohanad at an airport security check?"
    --Mohanad Elshieky

"Real-world hacking advice: 'try dumber' will get you more shells than 'try
harder'."
    --Liam O

"It is known.  But it would be no advantage whatsoever for people to know it.
It would even be worse.  Some would believe it, others would not believe it,
yet others would demand proofs.  Afterwards they would begin to break one
another's heads.  Everything ends this way with people."
    --Gurdjieff

"Poverty and desperation has created more hackers than any college."
    --Medus4

"I once went to a conference where the first speaker walked up on stage,
slapped his hand down on the podium, and said ''It's freshwater clam day, and
by the end of my talk you're going to love them as much as I do.'' I've never
stopped thinking about the sheer power of that energy."
    --Biologizing

"We age.  We age and become Dilbert."
    --@galaxykate

"The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but
that it is indifferent.  But if we can come to terms with this indifference,
then our existence as a species can have genuine meaning.  However vast the
darkness, we must supply our own light."
    --Stanley Kubrick

"When I first started reading revolutionary literature, I was surprised to
find that these people, who were made out to be villains, were actually
talking about ending exploitation and suffering.  Then I realized this is why
we don't read their words in history class.  The bourgeoisie has to teach you
to hate shadows first, so you reflexively dismiss revolutionary writing,
ideas, and practices without ever understanding or coming into contact with
the actual content."
    --Feral Cherub

"Kindness is my go-to, but fuck off is my wingman."
    --Jonny Ox

"Expertise is great, but it has a bad side effect.  It tends to create an
inability to accept new ideas."
    --Dean Williams

"The Blender manual is like a scene in a David Lynch movie where someone asks
a question and the answer is a slow zoom into a light socket."
    --Calutron

"There is a tendency in fringe politics to assume that it matters what you
think.  I'm all too aware of this from within the Left, especially from within
anarchism - endless pontifications on how the world 'ought' to be, from people
who have minimal contact with how the world actually is."
    --Black Cat

"Bryce sometimes forgets he has a body."
    --Lyssa

"When in doubt, take advantage of extra dimensions."
    --Pegritz

"Every time one of their sources goes to prison, that's another headline for
them.  That's how they stay relevant - by burning sources, instead of the
journalism that they once believed in."
    --Reality Winner, on The Intercept

"Don't tell me that the last two (or five, or ten) years haven't felt like a
bad b-movie to you - the kind that combines gaping plot holes with completely
unnecessary scenes."
    --John Ohno

"If you also know deep in your heart that the metaverse is a big fat steaming
load of billionaire nerd pabulum, I hope reading these words provides you with
a wave of vindicating comfort.  You're not crazy.  I know it can feel like
that when the people peddling these things seem so convinced that they're the
future, like they know something you don't.  Don't fall for it.  Watching
people spend $69 million in fake money to buy a JPEG should make you feel like
you're living in an age of unparalleled nonsense."
    --Wes Fenlon

"If indeed there are any real monsters left, we have only to look in the
mirror to find them."
    --Richard Ellis

"During the BART crime issue years back, people kept complaining about these
Black kids dancing in the trains for money.  I asked them back, 'Would you
prefer that they rob the train instead?'  White and Asian kids playing violin
for money, that's all cool and talented, but some Black kids are passionate
about hip hop and dancing and suddenly it's a problem."
    --Darrell Owens, on occasional rashes of crime in the Bay Area

"There's 3 things all men fear: The sea in a storm, a night with no moon and
the wrath of a gentle man."
    --Patrick Rothfuss

"If I don't die from the virus [covid], I'll die of exhaustion."
    --Dr. Alex Sigal, virologist, Africa Health Research Institute

"300 years ago, a rich white guy wrote a monograph, probably in German, and we
all just ran with it."
    --Adam Neely, jazz musician, on music theory

Everything gets to change.

"Every new idea is a mutation."
    --Everbern

"The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience,
so they believe they are as clever as he."
    --Karl Kraus

"Communities have to moderate what is acceptable behavior or they will accept
increasing amounts of bad behavior.  That moderation can come from within, or
else it will eventually come from above."
    --Vortex Egg

"QAnon: When you're too fucking stupid for Scientology, yet still waiting for
that Jonestown ending."
    --Buckeye Engineering

"It'd be really refreshing if news outlets did even the smallest of dives and
started reporting on the dysfunction happening in this country but you know,
whatever."
    --@whatapityonyou

"A massive chunk of the things that alarm suburbanites about being in an urban
environment are solved in totality by adopting the city dweller's habit of
simply declining to perceive things that are none of your fucking business."
    --Taber

"You know it's the 21st century when you can plug in a 14 TB disk almost as
casually as a light bulb."
    --Lauren Weinstein

"A lot of 'critical thinkers' are actually just reflexive pessimists."
    --@deepfates

"The Venn diagram of 'things I need right now' and 'things that are actually
substantially discounted' is basically empty space at this point."
    --@bauxitedev

"This is not how I wanted to learn the Greek alphabet."
    --Isla McKetta, on covid variants

"We could use the Hebrew alphabet, but I'd really like to avoid Covid Aleph
Zero."
    --Sophie, on covid variants

"Omicron sounds scary, but the variant we really need to worry about is pi.
That one's gonna last forever."
    --Hasufin, on covid variants

"The meritocracy isn't real, sure, but finding a nerd who will admit 'adoption
is for social, not technical reasons' seems a lot harder in practice.
Everyone loves to think the tools they use are better, make them smarter, and
that if they make something cool, people will use it."
    --@tef_ebooks

"Never in a million years would I have suspected that people would be so
fundamentally offended by statements such as 'look stuff up, but try to
understand them too' and 'you are a competent human being.'"
    --@memmove_s

"What are the real consequences for lying anymore?  Sure, cancel my $0.99
subscription, that will really hurt.  Can't sue, cost prohibitive and no real
damages.  They do not care because they do not have to."
    --Virginia Barnett, on USian news outlets

"Don't assume that because I am a far left thinker, that I am pro 'big
government'.  That's a centrist status-quo-fetishist thing."
    --Dildog

"Increasingly it seems to me that the most salient political slogan of our
age is 'Ah!  Well.  Nevertheless.'"
    --Parker Higgins

"You mess with me, I take your candy.  That's just how it goes."
    --U Can Beat Video Games, on _Deja Vu_

"Repeated vomiting in the back of an F-18 Hornet does not diminish from the
pleasure of flying in a Hornet at all."
    --Adam Savage

"I worked at a children's hospital, and those little assclowns put stickers
on /everything/."
    --Fidgety

"There is a strain of wealthy VC-guy who pretends to do you a favor by
'warning' against Bitcoin (or whatever) while hyping centralized garbage-coins
that they coincidentally happen to own an enormous stake in."
    --Edward Snowden

"Meow meow; mew meow; meowmentation fault; peripheral meow on the MEOWbus]
failed w/ error code ETOOMUCHCATNIP."
    --cr1901

"I personally just want all of us to go back to being little kids again.  When
we didn't know what hate and stress are.  We didn't judge.  We just played in
the sandbox, watched dragonflies in awe, shared cookies, made art for the
refrigerator."
    --Czarina

"If you want to know how humans treat resources, just look at IPv4.  They will
use them until the 'natural' available is used up.  Will they change to
something new then?  No.  They'll start scavenging the scraps."
    --Ren

"Cybersecurity, or how to take psionic damage for money."
    --@da_667

"The simulation we live in is abandonware."
    --g

"Healing happens at its own pace."
    --Crista Anne

"When people tell you that 'kindness is free', that's misleading.  Apathy is
free.  A lot of people confuse the two.  Kindness takes work, attention and
effort.  Making the world a better place requires putting your money where
your mouth is."
    --Dildog

"Yes, every APT group heeds the motd that says they'll be prosecuted."
    --Bob Plankers

"Part of being a functioning adult is recognizing and accepting that reality
doesn't often meet our expectations."
    --Richard Hansen

"In _The Last Duel_, there's no French accent.  That would've been a disaster,
and yet, it's all French.  Who cares?  Like, shut the fuck up, then you'll
enjoy the movie."
    --Ridley Scott

"If you spend all your time watching what other people are doing, you are a
fan.  Not a player."
    --Ice-T

"I'm exhausted and annoyed with the whole political spectrum these days.  There
is no faction I'm not absolutely infuriated with, and almost no faction that
looks at history honestly and openly.  Except maybe Marxists.  Marxists are
good at American history.  I just find marxism exhausting and silly and as
bad at accepting human nature as anarcho-capitalists are."
    --Quinn Norton

"At this point, staying unvaccinated is like wearing a Yankees hat to a Red
Sox game... you're probably gonna end up in the hospital and it's your own
damn fault."
    --Stephen Colbert

"I don't want to exacerbate the problem.  That is the struggle of satire."
    --Z

"By the time we got to Jupiter's moon Europa and began drilling to see what
lay under the ice, the old legends of the submerged city R'lyeh were all but
forgotten.  After all, nobody has found it in any oceans on Earth."
    --@MicroSFF (Micro Science Fiction/Fantasy Stories)

"I used to find conspiracy theories enjoyable.  I used to listen to the Art
Bell show on the radio, and stories about aliens and the Illuminati all the
time.  But now that conspiracy theory has become so mainstream that my life is
actually affected by the collective will of delusional pinheads who believe
that vaccines are a New World Order plot to harvest their adrenochrome, Jewish
space lasers control the weather and Chinese communists stole the election for
Joe Biden, they just aren't fun anymore."
    --krapp

"One could never price a thirty year mortgage in Bitcoin because its
volatility makes it completely unpredictable and no sensible bank could
calculate the risk of covering that debt.  A world in which Elon Musk can
tweet two emojis and your home depreciates 80% in value is a dystopia."
    --Stephen Diehl

"My financial advice is that if you're trying to find trading signals in dog
memes, you should probably stop."
    --Edward Snowden

"Make anger your passenger, don't let it drive."
    --Z

"NPCs in video games have weird lives."
    --U Can beat Video Games

"Pizza rolls are just stromboli eggs, waiting to hatch under the right
conditions in a microwave oven into baby stromboliti hatchlings."
    --Vertigo

"Live in such a way as to prank generations of future scholars.  Be so notable
as to be impossible to ignore yet also entirely illegible.  Make it unclear
whether or not you are, in fact, a folkloric figure to which strangers have
attributed reams of unrelated work."
    --Tsundoku Psychohazard

"If your computing experience isn't providing you with senses 6-12, you're
doing it wrong."
    --thegibson

"You should never bet against anything in science at odds of more than about
10^12 to 1."
    --Ernest Rutherford

"Everyone's fighting for something.  Most are unclear what that is, exactly."
    --Elixx

"The cool thing about transitioning is men, cis, trans, queer and otherwise
and a nonzero amount of women too all just sorta stopped caring about my
opinion as much the second they learned it was coming out of a woman and not
a man.  But holy shit do I have as many opportunities to say 'I told you so'
after the fact as I could ever want, and that's very satisfying."
    --Kat

"A dystopian fantasy story where the protagonist risks it all to capture
evidence of the government doing evil stuff, and takes it to the press and....
No one cares.  They can get a few little articles published about it, but most
people just... don't care."
    --Chrissy Keygen

"The biggest myth sold to the public in the last 15 years is that you're
missing important things by not staying in constant, daily, insubstantial
contact with everyone you know."
    --Z

"The mind is for rationalizing, not rationality.  You don't want more on
logic, you want more on religion.  And have I got a moron religion for you..."
    --Rev. Onan Canobite

"Hackernews shitting on something is often a sign that you're on the right
track."
    --Technomancy

"The problem with all the mythopoetic warnings against human behavior is that
they're perceived as significant individuals by virtue of their failings.
Icarus, Narcissus, Achilles.  We attach the names to the flaws.  But it's all
of us.  You don't need a name that echoes in history to fall prey to the vices
and hubris of those who do."
    --Warriorstar

"I appreciate all the hot takes from people who are highly technical about how
a highly technical problem is really simple to solve, and that everybody just
needs to calm down.  You know, because it's something that people who aren't
highly technical will be aware of and able to fix?  FFS people, we get it,
you're smart.  Not everyone's chest deep into the same junk you are."
    --Dr. Otto Skrzyk

"Today it's them, tomorrow it's you.  This is a time for learning and not
throwing stones."
    --Dr. Russ

"Yeah, sometimes you live for others; altruism et al, but when the chips are
down the question would be ''What's it goan' cost?''"
    --Biyi Nifemi Tudors

"Really do not appreciate how many events these days are mediocre one-panel
scene intro jokes from _Transmetropolitan_."
    --Nathan Bernhardt

"I just want people to have an ounce of empathy.  Like, you have no clue what's
going on internally, so maybe don't be so fucking critical at the first sign
of something going wrong."
    --Gradius

"Remember when you meet people or read about their shenanigans, you are only
seeing a moment in their lives, and probably not their best moment.  What if
you got reduced to your worst drama moment just because you're trans or black
or female or all three?"
    --Quinn Norton

"Remember that time WoW had a deadly disease that spread to hundreds of
thousands of players?  Remember how the CDC asked for data on it and then
deemed it unreliable since they felt no real populatuon would purposefully
spread the disease around like the griefers in the game?"
    --JoCat

"Remember: Every labor law out there exists because without it, some business
somewhere was doing it until they were forced to stop."
   --@kittynouveau 

"I love how doing my PhD is actually less obtuse, more accessible, quicker,
and easier than applying for disability benefits in the US."
    --@chaoticgaythey

"You guys have got to stop telling me when an idea I had is in Homestuck. You
have to.  It's like saying I used a word that was in the dictionary."
    --Valerie Halla

"One accidental shooting is enough to make America consider regulating prop
guns, but 100+ intentional mass shootings are not enough to regulate real guns."
    --Santiago Mayer, on the accidental shooting on the set of _Rust_

"One reason CS academics teach theory rather than practice is that it saves
time on updates.  The math doesn't change, but the syntax of library calls
often does."
    --Balaji Srinivasan

"The only undead celebrities at the Rolling Stones concert will be the Rolling
Stones."
    --Garrett martin

"Modesty is a mechanism of weaponized control."
    --Seanan McGuire

"Knowledge is like underwear.  It is useful to have it, but not necessary to
show it off."
    --Bill Murray

"Surviving is for barnacles; human beings need to *live*."
    --Gretchen Felker-Martin

"Before you open your mouth and spew hate, and make the world a darker place,
ask yourself ''what if I'm wrong?''  You might just want to take that energy
and do something positive with it instead.  The world needs more kindness,
especially to those who have tried and failed."
    --Dildog

"The biggest fantasy of Cyberpunk stories is that people start using direct
action when they get oppressed."
    --Magnet Bolt

"The tedious thing about cryptobros is they interpret even the mildest
criticism from anywhere of any idea related to cryptocurrency (''maybe we
don't need to teach blockchain in middle school'') as an existential threat
to be responded to and crushed.  If they want to be taken seriously (granted,
not obviously the case), perhaps they should act less like cult members.  I
suppose if I were an entitled asshole who thought I was above the law because
I had bought into some math voodoo, this would bother me, too."
    --Matt Blaze, on NFTs and IRS action

"Proofs are only as good as the correspondence between their assumptions and
actual reality, which can never be proven."
    --Ron Garret

"Some things, Unicode was never meant to handle."
    --Feonixrift

"There's this idea that ideas in science are a bit like epidemics of viruses.
There are apparently five or six basic strains of flu viruses, and apparently
each one comes back with a period of around 25 years.  People get infected,
and they develop an immune response, and so they don't get infected for the
next 25 years.  And then there is a new generation that is ready to be
infected by the same strain of virus.  In science, people fall in love with an
idea, get excited about it, hammer it to death, and then get immunized - they
get tired of it.  So ideas should have the same kind of periodicity!"
    --Tomaso Poggio, professor of brain and cognitive sciences, MIT

"If a princess tells you that she thinks it would be really hot for you to
take off your armor in a haunted graveyard, I understand that there is more
than one reason that you can't say no to that, but there will be consequences."
    --U Can Beat Video Games, on _Ghosts and Goblins_

"This is why in infosec, especially more than most other fields it's important
to remember always that time is a flat circle and the new will inevitably find
a way to echo the old."
    --James Bolivar DiGriz

"If people did notice us, I remember she [Madonna] didn't like to be noticed.
I didn't care and she didn't like it that I didn't care.  If they [fans] asked
her for an autograph, she would say 'No,' and if the same person came to me,
I said, 'Yes, no problem.'  She would get so mad at me for that, and I had to
let her know: 'Hey, that fan?  You'll never see him again, but they're gonna
tell that story nine million times over the rest of their lives.  Make it a
good moment for them."
    --Vanilla Ice, on dating Madonna

"I've never met a cat who had luggage before."
    --Istvaan

"That a show which was originally about a dysfunctional mess of a family
barely clinging to middle class life in the aftermath of the Reagan
administration has now become aspirational is frankly the most on the nose
manifestations of capitalist American decline I can think of."
    --Erika Chappell, on _The Simpsons_

"One definition of conspiracy theory that I favor is something that, if true,
you couldn't handle it."
    --Mark Crispin Miller

"I have investigated eternity.  It exists, but for me the price of admission,
death, is beyond my means.  In a moment, I will simply stop."
    --Proteus IV, _Demon Seed_

"Every time you run your dishwasher you're creating homeopathic lasagna.  Not
a lot of people know that."
    --Peter Gutmann

"I sincerely hope there's a good plan for medication distribution
post-revolution, because I'm not about to cold turkey an SSRI for this shit."
    --Vanilla Cherry

"Evangelicals want to escape the responsibility of cleaning their own damn
house.  You can't join the moneychangers in the Temple and then act surprised
when your boy J.C. comes in laying about with the leather, my friends."
    --Lilith Saint Crow

"I knew what was art and what was shit.  But sometimes the shit was more
interesting."
    --Mary Woronov

"I think we broke up 'cuz he hopped a train and I got a software job like that
Hard Times article about the punk Choose Your Own Adventure book that always
ends up with shitty software job."
    --Aleyna

"The appearance of dispute is essential to the networks' electro-democracy."
    --Simon Peller, _Max Headroom: Blanks_

"Pittsburgh: Where none of the streets are straight, but most of the women
wearing flannel are."
    --Johanna

"Yes, I specifically enjoy an aesthetic that repulses you, a person whose
opinion I personally find beneath contempt.  Sweet of you to notice."
    --Discordian Kitty

"What a strong statement for a device manufacturer to make: 'When you you buy
it, it belongs to you.'  How is that controversial?  And yet here we are blown
away by it." 
    --Linus, from Linus' Tech Tips, on the Steamdeck

"Tonight we are showing Garrison _Ferngully_.  [It's] pretty wild that if
released in 2021 this movie would be condemned for celebrating ecological
terrorism."
    --Robert Evans

"Airplane Wi-Fi: When you're feeling nostalgic for dial-up."
    --Jason Korzen

"We rent space from thousands of mega companies every day to do many things we
were once able to do as private citizens, and millions of people are shocked
when those companies restrict their actions in the most profitable way.  It's
exactly what the Reagan crew wanted."
    --Lesley Carhart

"The worst part of Star Wars is the wierd treatment of sentient droids.  Given
agency, thoughts, inner life, and feelings, but wantonly treated as property
and slaves, even among the good guys."
    --Opti

"The hardest problem in computer science is 'not having every single layer of
the [network] stack independently start retrying requests to the next layer
down when a backend of a backend of a backend is slow'."
    --Blue Space Canary

"The difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot
possibly go wrong, is that when the thing that can't possibly go wrong goes
wrong, it's usually impossible to get at or to repair."
    --Douglas Adams

"Please stop saying 'metaverse'.  A public space where all legitimate social
activity is a prelude to making purchases and offending public mores results
in expulsion is already a thing with a name, and that name is 'the mall'."
    --Yurirando

"I know to Americans, Facebook is basically dead but I live in the Philippines
and I cannot even begin to explain the absolute dystopic hold it has on this
country, and many other third world countries.  It is a big deal globally,
even if not to you.  Facebook has literally built undersea cables and Internet
infrastructure to serve developing nations.  Africa, southeast Asia, google it."
    --Vicious Delights

"Anytime a person tells me to delete a comment I added explaining an algorithm
I take great delight in telling them no.  I did it the obvious way and that
didn't work so now I'm explaining why I did it this way instead."
    --Lucretiel

"Being raised a boy is just your parents and most adults in your life standing
around thinking 'his kindness and gentleness was cute when he was 5 but now
that he's 11 we gotta start punishing him for it'.  Then they have the gall
to act bewildered when we become sullen, depressed teenagers!  Weird that
beating the empathy out of children will do that."
    --@bonkey_bong

"The more outrageous the post is, the more likely it is to be some kind of
horrid shit-stirring or harmful fake."
    --Sunfell

"Bruce Wayne could've transformed Gotham's entire approach to psychiatric care
but instead he chose to remodel his mancave and spend his evenings in
dominatrix scuba suits beating up people who were clearly experiencing mental
health crises."
    --Michael Harriot

"So, all of you gave up on me??"
"Mom, even the nurses thought you were going to die that night."
    --Mom and the rest of us, after she was admitted to the hospital for the
      last time

"Seriously, what is it about endogenous testosterone that can cause people to
so thoroughly confuse conversation with competition?"
    --Thamesynne

"A lot of things are edible.  We just make pets of some of them."
    --Lyssa

"You know we're in trouble when the comics page and the editorial page become
indiscernible."
    --Paul Seaburn

"Also, whoever posted my tweet to the orange website, fuck you."
    --@ladyaeva

"I did a quick check on ebay, I can't believe the prices!  People must think
these things are made of platinum, and potted with heroin."
    --Facility 406, on the prices of accoustic couplers on eBay

"I never thought the phrase 'The cat wants to go out for a walk' would ever
pass my lips, but here we are."
    --Lyssa, on Dora jumping into her stroller and demanding a walk outside

"CompTIA A+ is a history exam."
    --Colonel Panic

"I think that life gets pretty awful when everyone charges you to say 'Hello!'"
    --Berry de Jager

"On roughly the same system, roughly optimized the same way, a benchmark from
1979 at Xerox PARC runs only 50 times faster today.  Moore's law has given us
somewhere between 40,000 and 60,000 times improvement in that time.  So
there's approximately a factor of 1,000 in efficiency that has been lost by
bad CPU architectures."
    --Alan Kay

"This is what art does and that's what stories do, they comfort us."
    --Lana Wachowski

"It's a really bad look when even the three letter agencies think you're
collecting too much information."
    --c0debabe

"People underestimate me because I'm so glamorous.  What they don't understand
is I'm a strong woman.  And that strength comes from my values, my courage,
and my dogged persuit of vengeance."
    --Miss Piggy

"Antennae are the fruiting body of the radio network."
    --@nidifiction

"The breadth of human suffering is so vast, there is almost always something
within our power we can do to ease some of it, somewhere."
    --Elle Armageddon

"I give all the fucks about the work.  I spent 30 years successfully battling
bad movies of Sandman.  I give zero fucks about people who don't
understand/haven't read Sandman whining about a non-binary Desire or that
Death isn't white enough."
    --Neil Gaiman

"I don't regret anything, but I'm sure other people regret stuff where I was
present."
    --Andrew Eldritch

"I was talking about RPGs with my partner and she mentioned something that
*really* hit home for me.  She said that she realized that she could no longer
run any urban fantasy game where the supernatural was secret.  The reason is
that right now in our world we have bizarroid jackasses like the Q nuts, the
Sovereign Citizens, and at least some of the Dominionists, who are certain
they live in a world where only they know the truth, where the world is filled
with secret threats by monstrous people that almost no one else knows about,
and they are the righteous warriors for truth and justice who oppose these
monsters.  At this point, at least for the two of us, playing in or running
a game where the PCs are essentially people whose violence-filled conspiracy
theory about the modern world is actually correct no longer makes for fun
gaming."
    --Blue Heron

"That looks like someone put wings on a panel truck.  For serial killers in
a hurry or something."
    --Puella Vulnerata, on the Short SC.7 Skyvan

"Only an idiot (or someone with no principles) designs a system so that they
go to jail or break their principles."
    --Philip Hallam-Baker

"Fuck them.  Fuck their freedom.  I want my freedom to live.  I want to get
out of the house.  I want to go next door and play chess.  I want to go take
some pictures.  This is bullshit."
    --Howard Stern, on antivaxxers

"Computer science belongs under the humanities as applied metaphysics."
    --Lord Bowlich

"You do not need to suffer to be valid."
    --Goat Sarah

"The classic 4chan style trolling techniques have matured to a point to be
an ISO certificable mainstream standard.  The meme war is definitely a thing."
    --Niconiconi

"I don't use Docker because I know how to install applications."
    --The Real Lazlo Falconi

"Remember during the early stages of the pandemic when the Canadian government
endorsed using glory holes to help prevent the spread of covid during sex?"
    Emily Darling

"Friendship in adulthood is just a game of whoever can compartmentalize their
never-ending exhaustion long enough to remember to reach out and check in."
    --Joseph Oteng

"Back then we didn't care, we still had imaginations capable of letting go of
the idea that perfection even exists in the first place."
    --@spajtastic, on fen who don't like random stuff being used to make props

"In 40 years, I have not encountered so much death in 12 hours, as last night.
I imagine this is what a nuclear incident would feel like."
    --Dr. Steven M. Brown, MD, on covid hospitalizations

"Who knew that when fascism came to America, it would be wearing a bow tie and
promoting horse dewormer meds."
    --George Takei

"I took a brief stroll through a Haskell API for a stock exchange and saw
requests passing through 8 different bytestrings before making an (obviously)
malformed query.  Get it together guys, this is why rust people make fun of
us."
    --@riz0id

"Not being a lawyer doesn't give you an excuse to smear them with
disinformation."
    --Bill Woodcock

"I owe you nothing.  Take your complaints elsewhere.  If corporations were not
so ridiculously aggressive with threats of litigation, then the public could
be better informed.  I'm not getting sued because you personally want more
details."
    --Chris Vickery

"If twenty media outlets in a row spend more time searching for a stock
picture of a horse than they do fact-checking their writing, maybe 'the very
idea of media' deserves to be attacked."
    --Netrunner Nobody

"That was the pitch for tech right?  We could take down these dinosaur old
media organizations etc. etc.  What we got was Nazis and metastasizing FB
communities of people pitching fake cures and anti-science."
    --Brandon Downey

"If the current Facebook user backlash tells us one thing, it's that Facebook
users don't really understand what's private and what's public online."
    --Hybernaut

"It turns out that unless you're a multi-millionaire stashing money away in
the Cayman Islands to dodge tax and/or legal oversight, there is no such thing
as jurisdiction-based data privacy."
    --TrechNex

"The C64 shouldn't have the hardware for parallax background scrolling.
Luckily the C64 doesn't know that, so he does it anyway."
    --Lovuschka

"Lose your shell, gain enlightenment."
    --Octopus

"The most surprising part to me in all this is not that the White House
lied - that, life teaches us, is a reliable constant.  It is that even after
the White House openly admits that something was a cynical lie, 30% of the
population will continue to prefer that lie to reality."
    --Edward Snowden

"There's a special kind of derangement that comes from being born in the
window of like 1985-1992, owing partially to how many of us were too young to
question Bush-era jingoism, and now you're either a shambling list of psych
disorders or a homunculus puppeteered by Goldman Sachs."
    --Sarah Zedig

"Remember kids, if you're the one watching what's happening and it's not
happening to you then you've won the gibsonian jackpot for just one more day."
    --Dan Hon

"The alarmists were right, about pretty much everything."
    --Ben Collins

"So just to be clear, since we're not gonna tax the rich or corporations more,
we're all just supposed to donate money to each other to take care of each
other's emergencies which will now be happening every day."
    --Russ Bengtson

"Now, is it petty to dedicate an entire year of your life to completely
over-engineering a box just to shoot a little glitter at someone?  Yes.  But
at the same time, couldn't that creation still be just ridiculous and
beautiful?  Also yes."
    --Mark Rober, inventer of the anti-porch pirate glitter bomb

"You can use comparisons with other extremist groups to make a point.  'Texas
Taliban' doesn't do that - it relies on the invocation of a foreign Other to
explain an American Christian phenomenon."
    --Charles Louis Richter

"Since the so-called alarmists have been right about everything, can we
concede that they weren't, in fact, being alarmists?"
    --Mary L. Trump (pretty sure there's no relation)

"The strong do what they will, the weak suffer what they must."
    --Thucydides

"American culture will work really hard not to hurt the feelings of the rich,
while deranged conspiracy nutjob rich people have no problem reshaping society
at their whims, nor do rich sociopaths hesitate to leave death in their wake."
    --John Rogers

"The horse-paste COVID grift is a morbidly fascinating example of how the
snake oil sales grift has evolved in the Internet era.  The grifters profit
less from directly selling the snake oil than they do from monetizing the
attention they get from advocating the snake oil."
    --Matt Blaze

"I'm tired of being angry at everything and everyone.  Between covid telling
me my life might be shorter than I hoped, and the Supreme Court deciding my
life doesn't matter as long as I breed - I feel like the best rebellion is
just enjoying my pointless short life."
    --Medus4

"We can milk this thing all the way to 2015.  There's plenty to go around."
    --Samuel Visner, former sales executive, SAIC, on 9/11

"You are not the A-Team."
    --Opti

"The most powerful weapon that will ever exist among humans is simple: Listen
to the young adults in your adversary's society.  That's it.  If you take the
concerns and insights of young adults within a population seriously, you
can conquer any nation."
    --Chris Vickery

"Other people should learn to manage their own feelings without making it your
problem.  They cover that on Sesame Street."
    --@bigrockbigriver

"Today the vet told me that since Covid, they've had to treat a number of
cats with depression caused by irritation that their people are at home all
day.  Obviously it's not really funny but... that's the most Cat thing I've
ever heard.  Apparently dogs do not have the same problem."
    --@joannamont

"The writers of cyberpunk play on the terror of partnership and collaboration
with the Other, but what they often don't fully embrace is that the readers
are rooting for them, for Yog-Sothoth, for Wintermute, for the Zaibatsu, for
all the ab-human and very human Others in the story."
    --Fred Scharmen

"I don't think I can explain how much I've missed teaching in person.  Zoom
teaching was like having a conversation with a fish tank."
    --Matthew Green

"One thing that about this pandemic that I'll remember forever is the way many
people got irrationally angry at people who were trying to help them.  Angry
at scientists.  Angry at teachers.  Angry at doctors.  Angry at anyone who
told them helpful info they didn't want to hear."
    --Josh Moon

"Anyone else tired of being resilient and want the world to stop demanding so
much resilience to survive it?"
    --@coastalwilliams

"If they shut down OnlyFans how are Americans supposed to pay for insulin?"
    --@type1Dialectic

"In the old days every programming book was a 2kg brick.  Now that same stuff
is scattered across 3,000 different stackoverflow answers, 2 dev blog posts,
16 different ranting videos, and for some reason the manifesto of a furry con."
    --Pookleblinky

"These days the time between Google launching a new service and killing that
same service is less than the time it takes to write a book."
    --John Boyer

"I just don't understand people that both think Covid-19 is a hoax and that
also want to drink bleach and lick horse deworming paste to prevent catching
a disease they don't even think exists."
    --Oz Katerji

"Awkward never just happens.  It happens on multiple levels, each with their
own micro-regrets."
    --Dildog

"For the life of me I do not know how we, in this proudly, willfully
dangerously ignorant country, ever got smoking in restaurants/on airplanes
etc. banned."
    --Dan Larson

"Win32 programming feels like you're being gaslit constantly.  Every question
results in the answer ''You're a fool, don't do that'' and no pointers to how
you should instead do it."
    --Foone

"A technocrat sees every problem as a shortage of expertise and excess of
rights."
    --David Sarac

"Just watched the episode of SG1 where 800 people died of a new virus, and the
US immediately grounded all flights and closed the borders.  Oh science
fiction, you so crazy."
    --jwz

"No society can legitimately call itself civilised if a sick person is denied
medical aid because of lack of means."
    --Nye Bevan

"'Can you explain this gap in your resume?'  Yeah, I made it in LaTeX and I
don't know how to make the paragraph breaks smaller."
    --@proletarat

"Remember, kids, burnout happens exponentially, but recovers linearly."
    --@wertle

"We take your data, erm I mean privacy, seriously."
    --John Opdenakker

"As a 365 admin, I blame Bill Gates for many things, but none of them are
quite harbingers of an Armageddon.  'cept for maybe Clippy."
    --@theliamnissan

"Please be kind in the next few days and give people the benefit of the doubt.
Grace is not solely given to those who do everything right.  Doing everything
right may not save you when it's your turn.  Extend the kindness you hope will
someday be given to you."
    --@ursulaV

"Historical precedent for shitty behavior is not a reason to write off current
shitty behavior.  Pretending as though nothing ought to be done is the most
defeatist, apathetic attitude possible."
    --Zac Cichy

"My OnlyFans has been making me bank.  Only, one pays to keep my clothes on."
    --Vlad_II

"Hey kids, just go do your elite hacking you claim to be capable of instead
of harrassing random people on Twitter."
    --Tillie Crimew

"I'd say the contradictions are reaching their fucking apex, but satire is
dead, words don't mean things, the only change is fire and blood, and after
seeing this, I don't even care whose.  You wanna kill me?  Two pictures of
Minecraft rocks and a hand drawing of a turtle, and I'll let you."
    --Starved Hysteric Nude, on NFTs

"XKCD 927 is descriptive, not prescriptive.  Its lesson is certainly not 'You
should never create new standards because some existing standard is always
adequate for all use cases.'"
    --Freakazoid

"Normal people are fucking boring.  I sort of prefer the weirdos, unfortunately
America is where Australia sent all of their prisoners, so we have lots of
them here."
    --Kent Dahlgren

"It is the spirit of the game, not the letter of the rules which is important."
    --Gary Gygax

"I learned a long time ago, you do more damage because you're famous.  I've
told people, you don't want me there.  They'll go, 'Well of course he brought
his Hollywood friend.'  You know what people forget?  We all were just some
person somewhere in Cincinnati or fucking Ottawa or fucking Cleveland."
    --Michael Keason, on fame and politics

"According to a new study, evolution is now accepted by a majority of
Americans, an increase which occurred over the last 35 years.  Unfortunately,
the number of Americans who demonstrate evolution seems to be dropping."
    --Paul Seaburn

"Every time Americans have an opportunity to do some introspection and realize
maybe the USA is not the good guy they just blame the other political party
instead."
    --@garfxist

"Peak Twitter is a man explaining menstrual cycles to a woman."
    --Stonekettle

"Someday the Internet will regain the capacity to understand the concept of
'fiction', but today is not that day."
    --ml0pe

"If you work from the premise that US foreign policy is trying to make the
world a better, safer, more equal place, you will never be able to draw
correct conclusions."
    --@jessfromonline

"Not particularly thrilled about 'Afghanistan is Your Fault' takes written by
people who were grown adults in 2001 and directed at people who were, in 2001,
actual children."
    --Faine Greenwood

"You know the art is good because it pisses people off for the exact thing
it's trying to critique."
    --Catnip Enjoyer

"This is what we teach people that math is: Rules lawyering.  Not exploring
within a set of rules, but using the rules to restrict and limit and tell
others they're wrong."
    --eevee

"I'm finally in touch with my feelings!  Can someone get me out of touch with
them please?"
    --Alex Hirsch

"''Stop using tap water, it's screwing the hospital life support systems' is
kind of a dystopian message, isn't it?"
    --Charles Stross, on the city of Orlando, FL asking residents to use
      less water because liquid oxygen used to treat drinking water is needed
      more at hospitals to treat covid-19 patients

"The measure of a human life is not how useful they were to capitalism.  Not
yours.  Not anyone's.  How would you like yours to be measured?  How would you
like to measure your life?  Maybe you can do one thing in the next 24 hours
that reflects *that*?"
    --Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg

"We can't hold our opponents to even minimal standards of decency unless we
also hold our allies to much higher standards out of, I'm going to say spite."
    --Nicholas Peterson

"Dystopian fiction is when you take things that happen in real life to
marginalized populations and apply them to people with privilege."
    --@Hugo_Book_Club

"We once hired a woman into our lab based in part on the fact that she was
a train station Starbucks barista and anyone who could deal with uncaffinated
commuters can deal with anything."
    --@Mrs_Schwarzski

"I don't tweet that frequently b/c my mom would always tell me: If I don't
have anything useful or nice to say, then I should keep my trap shut.  Makes
me bad at social media--but I still think she's on to something."
    --Bunnie Huang

"You totally are allowed to not be nasty to people whether or not you are
just learning a thing!"
    --Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg

"At this point sarcasm is my soul's connective tissue.  It is the marbling of
my spirit meat.  I am the wagyu of sarcasm."
    --Dildog

"If I remain silent on important matters, this is why: Sometimes there are no
words, and words just aren't enough."
    --T. Thorn Coyle

"Oh, bollocks.  Run!"
    --Evil Lyn, _Masters of the Universe: Revelation_

"America's abject, costly failure in Afghanistan began with a lockstep
belligerence the Republican Party has only intensified since then.  I'd like
to think we can learn from this.  Current events suggest otherwise."
    --Phil Brucato

"I guess we should retire the expression 'avoid it like the plague', given how
little effort people seem to be willing to go to to avoid plagues."
    --Matt Blaze

"American military doctrine is impossible to plan against, because the American
military doesn't follow their own doctrine."
    --Soviet military training manual

"Using Blender is like exploring an alien city full of impossible technology
so complex you can't comprehend how any of it works, which somehow feels like
your fault.  Using GIMP is like starting your car to find the gas pedal makes
it turn and the blinker controls the brakes."
    --Edward Snowden

"Any cipher or mode that puts a single operation like XOR or addition between
the plaintext and an attacker is fundamentally unsafe, no matter how
mathematically elegant or provably something-or-other it is."
    --Peter Gutmann

"This is probably hard to believe, but it is worth considering the possibility
that shady spyware merchants are not being entirely truthful regarding
reporting that is detrimental to their business."
    --Edward Snowden

"That's why they [the far right] just seem to never run out of steam.  Because
it's fun.  That's one thing the right figured out along time ago.  Your ops
will never run out of steam if everybody is laughing and having a good time.
That's another thing for you to think about people.  The lulz, deconstructed."
   --Kirtner

"The only way we'll know that Jeff Bezos has been replaced by an evil
shape-shifting space alien is if his worker conditions slightly improve."
    --James Felton

"I kind of want to see Python stop changing so much, because if you keep
adding new features, you lose Python's simplicity and end up with Perl."
    --Al Sweigart

"I see people online go, 'Hey man, they're getting rid of He-Man!'  Like, you
really fucking think Mattel Television, who hired me and paid me money, wants
to do a fucking _Masters of the Universe_ show without He-Man?  Grow the fuck
up, man.  Like, that blew my mind, bunch of people being like, 'Oh, I smell
it.  This is a bait and switch.'"
    --Kevin Smith, on _Masters of the Universe: Revelation_

"There's technical debt, then there's technical subprime mortgages with
exploding balloon payments."
    --Mike Imbriaco

"Trying to convince anyone of anything is a fool's game, I am increasingly
coming to believe.  Either they will see the evidence you provide or they have
some willful interest in NOT seeing it."
    --Teeter Pyglit

"It doesn't take a formal conspiracy for there to be people taking advantage
of opportunities that happen to go their way while they're in a position to
take advantage of them due to a surfeit of resources."
    --Munin

"Sometimes I check the feeds and I feel like I'm being screamed at by Morton
Downey, Jr. in _Predator 2_: 'Hey Harrigan!  More victims, more mutilations!'
More horror, more corruption!"
    --Cigfran Llwyd

"You want vaccine door knockers, you're gonna have to pay them 'facing down a
MAGA chud freaking out with a gun' wages.  No one's going to face down a 2nd
amendment nut for a pat on the back and an Arby's coupon."
    --Pookleblinky

"Executives have surprisingly little agency.  They are organic processing
units within 'slow AIs' (hat tip to Charles Stross), and are easily replaceable
if they malfunction and stop maximizing paperclips - I mean, profits."
    --Nathan Koren

"I think you could almost call it a law of social organization that when
disruption would serve the common interests of humanity, the organizations
facing disruption double down on their position and act as obstructions."
    --Jack Graham

"I don't know that I'll ever get over the fact that a large percentage of the
human race essentially spent a year-and-a-half-long global pandemic screaming 
''We're going to the pub even if it kills us!'' and meaning that literally."
    --Damian P. Williams

"The people are still powerless, but now they're aware."
    --Edward Snowden

"Least naturalistic thing about traditional apocalyptic fiction: Absence of
substantial numbers who'll insist that the supposed cause doesn't exist, that
the apocalypse is entirely the result of tactical disinformation."
    --William Gibson

"I mean it would be *incredible*, half the city would have an incredible time
and the other half wouldn't know what hit it, and afterwards the Board of
Supervisors would hold six months of hearings to ensure it never happened
again."
    --Kevin Riggle, on moving Defcon out of Las Vegas

"There's a lot of propaganda going around on the right at the moment.
Remember, it's not supposed to be internally self-consistent.  They're
providing a smorgasbord of talking points, knowing their readers will grab
and internalize whatever resonates with them and ignore the rest."
    --Chuck Valentine

"Fascism is abuse dynamics at the national scale."
    --Jonathan Korman

"Imageboards probably won't turn you into a nazi but they will make you
someone who doesn't have strong opinions on anything but what they dislike and
thinks being bitter and angry all the time is funny and makes you personable."
    --@viperwave

"A lot of number theory is figuring out how to stitch together many different
such black boxes to get some new big result.  Roommate described this as
'flailing around' but also highly effective and endorsed my analogy to
copy-pasting code from many different Stack Overflow answers.  [It's] probably
worth noting that mathematicians have an extremely high bar for 'deeply
understanding.'  It's not like they're being dumb, the impression that I got
is that making progress in number theory is actually just close to the limit
of humanity's collective cognitive ability."
    --Ben Kuhn

"My favorite conspiracy is that the government cares about us."
    --Dark Alice

"The 'fuck your feelings' crowd sure is having a lot of feelings about finding
themselves on a ventilator."
    --Jeff Tiedrich

"Unless an author can be known and behaves according to how people expect,
instead of seeing them and their work, a lot of people will just see whatever
fits their narrative about them."
    --Alphabete

"A heartfelt 'Fuck you' to everyone who told me I was overreacting in November
2016."
    --@braddroflit

"Having your highly publicized display of egotism and obscene wealth take
place in a manifestly dick-shaped vehicle is such an unforced error that I'm
obligated to conclude it's on purpose."
    --Jess Zimmerman, on Jeff Bezos going into suborbital space

"As the likelihood that a Twitter Election Expert has read the National
Academies report approaches zero, the probability they will mention blockchain
approaches one."
    --Blaze's Law

"So... a pharmaceutical company is trying to push AXS-05 (for FDA
approval/phase III study) which is dextromethorphan with bupropion (to inhibit
liver enzyme CYP2D6).  I foresee price gouging of patients because healthcare
is amazing in this country."
    --@winocm, on a possible new antidepressant treatment

"Listen, there just aren't a lot of situations in this world where the best
move is 'I should write and publish a manifesto.'"
    --Eva Galperin

"I quit my teaching job and now make more bartending for 15 less hours week. 
Also I get blamed for way way less and get told thank you way way more.  No
lesson plans or grading papers.  Remember this when people ask about the
teacher shortage."
    --Abby Norman

"Madness has no purpose.  Or reason.  But it may have a goal."
    --Spock, _The Alternative Factor_, stardate 3088.7

"The Cuban people are yearning to experience the freedom of a $10,000
ambulance bill."
    --Neiko Cat

"If EVE Online is 'spreadsheets in space', Diablo 3 is 'Excel in Hell'."
    --Tek

"John Cage's 4'33" is what's known as comedic timing."
    --Selfsame

"When you live out on the frontier, you have no identity.  You are a nobody. 
Therefore, you get very tough.  You have to prove that you are somebody.
And so, you become very violent."
    --Marshall McLuhan

"Teaching during the pandemic has been an exercise in balancing the utterly
mundane with the profoundly traumatic - the sort of things that alter your
soul."
    --Sarah E Smith, _Response to Student Evaluations_

"What in the _Babylon 5_ set prop hell is that?  Shit looks like it'll make
you a Minbari."
    --Eli

"I have used exactly the same words to scold dogs and wasps today, with pretty
much the same results (except I do not put harnesses and leashes on wasps,
alas).  For the curious, those words are: 'CALM thy MANY TITS, you are NOT
behaving correctly, MIND yourself AND your manners!'  I am aware wasps don't
have tits but the underlying message remains."
    --Lilith Saint Crow

"These days, the problem isn't how to innovate; it's how to get society to
adopt the good ideas that already exist."
    --Douglas Engelbart

"What if the trauma of living through real conspiracies all around us -
conspiracies among wealthy people, their lobbyists, and lawmakers to bury
inconvenient facts and evidence of wrongdoing (these conspiracies are commonly
known as 'corruption') - is making people vulnerable to conspiracy theories?"
    --Cory Doctorow

"The best way to learn is to write a book on the subject.  You write a
sentence, think 'Wait, is that actually true?' and then imagine all the snide
comments a 1-star reviewer on Amazon is going to write, and then figure out
how to address that."
    --Al Sweigart

"You've fell victim to one of the classic blunders!  The most famous is never
get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this;
never use a random quartz crystal without a datasheet, when your work is on
the line!  Aha ha ha ha..."
    --Niconiconi

"Hey hey hey even at the Olympics, most of those literally world-class
athletes go home empty handed.  So maybe cut yourself a break when you take
an L, yeah?"
    --Andrew Philips

"New PSA campaign: If you don't get vaccinated, George Soros is going to buy
up your property when you die, and either turn it into a Planned Parenthood
or a mosque."
    --Unlofl

"It's physically impossible to solve one serious problem as long as all other
problems exist."
    --cypunk, on The Internet

"Just shut the fuck up already and give me a god-damned serial port!  I need
a god-damned divisor register, a transmit register, a receiver register, and
an interrupt pending and enable pair of registers.  That is it.  Done!  There
does not exist any further need for any more complexity than this."
    --Vertigo, on the madness that is the Intel 8250 UART

"A notebook is a Personal Analog Assistant (PAA)."
    --Freakazoid

"It would be a lot easier to have ethics in AI if starting from a platform
of having ethics."
    --Feonixrift

"I'd do Fear and Cyber in Las Vegas but that's just Defcon."
    --DJ Sundog

"Anyone working on infrastructure and security/safety of any kind understands.
If you see heroes, it's because something went terribly wrong.  It's showing
up every day and doing the right things even when it's inconvenient or hard
that keeps things running and safe.  When you do it right, it's nearly
invisible."
    --Calcifer

"There's a whole industry built on starting but never finishing live action
adaptations of _Akira_."
    --Cat

"'It costs you nothing to be positive and helpful to other creators' said no
polytheistic pantheon ever."
    --Phooky

"The fact that 'Everyone should try to act in the manner which is best for
the community' is considered utopian and unrealistic while 'Everyone everyone
should be as greedy as possible and that'll actually work out to everyone's
benefit' is treated as practical and realistic is the most upside down thing
I can imagine."
    --Z

"There is something nice about the experience of sitting and doing whatever,
looking up and seeing a KITTEN has suddenly appeared on your desk.  SUDDENLY. 
CAT!"
    --Azure

"Look, it's totally SFW blessed Mordecai.  Now you won't have to think of all
the _Regular Show_ pornography you were unfortunately exposed to in the
crossfire."
    --Hellspawn

"Because I like exterminating any residual shreds of faith in humanity, I
looked through the overwhelmingly hostile comments on a YouTube video by a
doctor debunking some covid misinformation tonight."
    --Julian Sanchez

"The core skill of innovators is error recovery, not failure avoidance."
    --Randy Nelson

"Do not take deadly pandemic advice from people who don't care if your
children are gunned down in their classrooms."
    --Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg

"I'm the visionary here.  Don't bother me with details."
    --DX

"Reading about the guy who created a GPT-3 simulacrum of his dead fiancée,
I wonder if it's that we've realised the way to make AIs indistinguishable
from humans is not by creating an AI with an inner life but convincing humans
we don't need one."
    --Mary Harrington

"Hating something together makes people best friends really really quick."
    --Nezumi Ningen

"Omertà has regulations on murder, it's just a question of who decides and how, and who gets protection and who doesn't."
    --@minnighthawks

"Do you want to know the secret about the BBC?  It's biased.  It's run by
humans, so bias is inevitable.  The left all think it's right biased, and the
right think the opposite.  Just accept that it will have bias sometimes and
stop projecting your conspiratorial narrative all the time."
    --Hial Stann

"Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, doctor, and I'm happy to state
I finally won out over it."
    --Elwood P. Dowd, _Harvey_

"The phrase 'privacy-preserving' is a red flag.  Never, at any time in
Internet history, has there been a software or technology describing itself
as privacy-preserving which actually preserves or even contributes to privacy.
It is a weasel word phrase only appearing when someone is trying to deceive
and trick you."
    --Chris Vickery

"I beg your pardon, but are you joking?  I can't tell.  I'm not prepared to
respond to Inception-level perfect-is-the-enemy-of-the-good-nimbyism
except-on-the-other-side.  You will simply have to buy me a drink first,
sorry."
    --@ugathom

"The people who need to be chided and scorned are anti-vax and anti-mask types
who are making us professionals pull overtime to allow y'all actually
following the rules to have some fun after the shitshow of the past 18 months."
    --Doc Wolverine

"The people whose entire career is about compartmentalization and secrets
sometimes just talk to the press to get things off their chests with no
agenda, right?"
    --ml0pe, on anonymous intelligence community leaks

"I don't think I could design a crueler punishment for someone with ADHD than
the actual process in place for accessing ADHD treatment."
    --Ari Drennen

"Gonna set up a numbers station and when the FBI inevitably gets me arrested
for supposedly smuggling secrets to North Cuba, I'll point out that the
numbers being read out are just all the bytes of an mp4 file of _Never Gonna
Give You Up_."
    --Foone

"Starting a job feels like you're a new character on the ninth season of a
TV show."
    --jatsby

"I do not agree with that interpretation, but I accept that you (and others)
do feel that way."
    --Deth Veggie

"There's nothing about him that's cynical or jaded or trying to just play it
cool.  No one on the set is playing it cool.  I could take out my nervous
energy with enthusiasm because it was not frowned upon.  It was like, 'The
cool kids are excited,' which was really special to see."
    --Margaret Qualley, on Quentin Tarantino

"He said they just want to make Biden look bad.  They want the crisis to happen on Biden's watch so that he does not get the credit for the vaccine that they
felt Trump should get the credit for.  That's it.  I mean, my jaw hit the
floor and I had to work to get it back up."
    --Ari Melber

"I'm here to make jokes and document evidence.  If I had to worry about people
taking jokes out of context then I'd have to shoot myself."
    --Rob Graham

"Politics is the art of looking for touble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing
it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
    --Groucho Marx

"If you're gonna be on the list anyway, you might as well strive for the top
spot."
    --Edward Snowden

"I'm a /cartoonist/.  It should be treated as a given that I've got an entire
/team/ of mental health professionals at my disposal."
    --Mae Dean, _Real Life Comics_

"Milkshakes ain't got nothin' on petroleum!"
    --Hasufin, on gasoline powered tools attracting older men to his yard

"It's almost - hear me out here - it's almost as if a ton of experts are
warning the entire species about a huge problem, and no one's bothering
to listen."
    --Ben Bowlin

"The best way to control the opposition is to lead it ourselves."
    --Vladimir Lenin

"If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, I'm from Alpha Centauri."
    --Kit Redgrave

"Sorry that you'd think that just because someone knows and says things, it must be them in disguise."
    --priyom.org

"Well folks, I don't want to be a Negative Nancy, but I'm starting to doubt
that blockchain will save us from the climate crisis."
    --Blackle Mori

"Your average rapper is a more positive politically active member of a
community than your average suburban homeowner."
    --DJ Sundog

"Gather around and I'll tell you about the proud Austin tradition of hanging
out with people exactly twice: Once when you first meet them at someone's
going away party.  And once when they put an open call for getting help with
packing because they've been priced out of Austin."
    --Baphometadata

"Our for-profit health care system gives me no reason to implicitly trust
anyone's motives."
    --Brianna Wu

"Ransomware is the purest form of 'fuck around and find out'. Companies didn't
invest in cybersecurity and then ultimately they had to pay for it anyway."
    --Soldier of FORTRAN

"You guys should be pretty worried that people who basically study doom for
a living like me are like wait this shit is off the charts of even our worst
predictions."
    --Umair

"Adults really will attribute whole additional lifespans to you rather than
admit to having had low expectations of themselves for decades."
    --Feonixrift

"''I don't trust ______ because this one time it broke ______'' has got to be
in the top ten most common IT derp phrases."
    --Jordicus Maximus

"Developers should be asking 'What would the most depraved, unfeeling monsters
on the planet do with this feature?' before rolling it out."
    --Katelyn Burns

"These tossers are triggered by 1 guy working a temp contract for the NHS."
    --Dan Kaszeta, for being attacked for helping people get vaccinated

"This is the infosec.  Disinformation, occasional 0-days, and a lot of drama
about shit that doesn't matter.  Welcome to #infosec, don't forget to check
Github, Climagic and other areas for fun toys."
    --@alostkender

"I definitely give more credit to people who realize their criticisms of
things which took a lot of effort are being made from a position of having
made much less effort.  There's a tendency for critics to mistake judging
as having greater gravitas than creating."
    --Stupendous Gravity

"Yes, I suppose I do deserve to die from bubonic plague for suggesting that a
disease that's taken over four million lives in 18 months should be taken
seriously.  You make a lot of sense and seem entirely hinged.  My mentions are
full of 'COVID is just a flu,' 'Death is bad but commerce is more important'
and 'Weak and elderly people are going to die soon anyway.'  It's like a bunch
of early 2020 troll talking points escaped from the zoo."
    --Matt Blaze

"'You can never have enough clamps, nor enough glue.' Yeah, but what if you're
*not* a woodworking YouTube celebrity with more patrons than lesser deities?"
    --Socketwench

"Is a society with constant school shootings and public lynchings and forever
wars, a society that could not help but turn even personal death into a
profitable industry dedicated to sanitizing it and abstracting it?"
    --Pookleblinky

"How are we gonna address climate change if we can't address kernel_task?"
    --Jim Pan, on OSX's proclivity to turn Macbooks into space heaters

"There were moments when I wanted to scream: 'What is wrong with you people?
All you want is intrigue, but an honest-to-God, globe-spanning apparatus of
omnipresent surveillance riding in your pocket is not enough?  You have to
sauce that up?'  It took years - eight years and counting in exile - for me
to realize that I was missing the point: We talk about conspiracy theories
in order to avoid talking about conspiracy practices, which are often too
daunting, too threatening, too total."
    --Edward Snowden

"The impossible attracts me because everything possible has been done and
the world didn't change."
    --Sun Ra

"That sounds like a really poor attempt at us producing a craft.  A nuclear
powered craft - really dirty, spewing nuclear material all over the place - it
sounds like something that we would make.  It really rings human."
    --Bob Lazar

"Optimizations always bust things, because all optimizations are, in the long
haul, a form of cheating, and cheaters eventually get caught."
    --Larry Wall

"This is how history is made.  An endless succession of people trying to
better the world for each other, mostly failing.  But it is not failure
entirely.  And that is where hope lives.  It lives in knowing our history."
    --Sigrid Ellis

"The golden age of serial killers and polygamy was not coincidentally the last
time people could afford rent on minimum wage and barely any student debt."
    --Pookleblinky

"I have to admire the combination of needless complexity combined with
absolutely breathtaking incompetence."
    --Matthew Green

"The Brits seem surprised the rest of the world has no inkling of their meaning
of the word 'nonce', but from out here the experience is that if you assemble
any five random English letters it will be some sort of slur in Britain."
    --Ra6bit

"People really take your pain scale a helluva lot more seriously when you say
'On a scale between Braxton-Higgs and getting shot in the face I'm at about
8cm dilated'."
    --Linda Tirado

"Just remembered that the EMTs who last treated my mom said that they'd
stopped asking who the president was in 2017 because most people either got
angry or simply refused to answer."
    --Benjamin Dreyer

"If the 'thought' leaders here have taught us anything, the goal should be to
expose, get fired, affect personally, and diminish all individuals perceived
in even the slightest of transgressions."
    --Hotpup, on infosec Twitter

"Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed
with both."
    --Lemony Snicket

"I stopped believing in the possibility of satire the day we found out that
pharmacist who had been destroying vaccines thought the government had created
the sky to hide us from God."
    --Myles Lobdell

"I'm 30.  My life today is remembered by Desert Storm, the Monica Lewinsky
Scandal, the Dot Com Bust, 911 and the endless Middle East Wars, the Great
Recession, MASSIVE student loan debt, and a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic.  We
aren't pessimistic, we're realistic."
    --@experienceEMMY

"If you're under 40, hearing 'history will judge' is funny because you're
pretty sure everyone a few decades from now will be too busy hunting rats to
learn history.  That phrase works only on people who still think people in
the future will know how to read."
    --Pookleblinky

"Just because it's Turing complete doesn't mean you should use it."
    --@rmDevNull

"The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
    --Hasufin

"Not everything that can be done in Lisp should be done in Lisp." 
    --Eva Galperin

"People desperately want to find people it is socially acceptable to be cruel
to."
    --Halvorz

"Embedded programmers: 'C... because we write code, not papers.'"
    --@steriana

"Getting tired of this thing where capitalism would rather not sell me a
burrito rather than pay their workers more and sell me a burrito for an extra
dollar."
    --Matthew Green

"To work with USB you need to be at least two engineers: One to do the job,
one to scream internally from the existential horror."
    --Whitequark

"If you hear or read about genocide and your normal human response is 'Someone
should stop that,' your consent hasn't been 'manufactured,' you just have
basic human empathy."
    --Kareem Rifai

"Any time a bunch of people are loudly saying 'Think of the children!!' it's
never actually about the children and stuff usually ends up getting worse
afterward."
    --Tim Sutton

DARVO: Deny/Diminish, Attack, Reverse Victim and Oppressor

"If somebody wants to nerd out with you in the hallway at con, unless you
*absolutely* have to be somewhere - they are the most awesome person in the
world at that very moment.  Doesn't matter if they're competent or not.  It
does matter if they're curious!"
    --Dan Kaminsky

"Never money in the budget to do it correctly, always enough money to do it
again."
    --French Toast

"One of the best feelings is having no idea what you're doing, but knowing you
are going to be just fine doing it.  May you experience fearlessness in your
life at least a few times."
    --Dildog

"You can decide which bothers you more: Contributing to the rise of fascism,
or using a non-open-source license.  I understand that for certain people
that might be a tough call."
    --jwz

"You can't embalm a living person on Youtube.  That's for my Patreon."
    --Caitlin Doughty

"Any attack that depends on circumventing the second law [of thermodynamics]
is not something I'm going to worry about.  I would question the sanity of
anybody who includes that in their threat model.  Suggestion: Before you go
around telling the community that physics is useless, it might be good to get
up to speed on the physics.  Refusing to use the available physics does not
make it useless."
    --John Denker

"When I write science fiction, people tell me it's so real, it's so prescient,
it's just like real life.  When I write about the kind of poverty I've
actually experienced, people think it's unrealistic."
    --Meg Elison

"In an age where every neurotypical has an attention span measured in
milliseconds, neurodivergent people are the only ones who actually know
literally anything at all."
    --Pookleblinky

"We're all running round dressed in black, calling ourselves Skeletal Family
and Sisters Of Mercy, and we wondered why we got labelled 'goth'."
    --Roger Nowell, bassist, Skeletal Family

"Those who want to burn it all down and somehow, magically, rebuild the
country from the ashes, MINUS all the people they disagree with, into some
sort of utopia of like-minded drones who believe as they do are dangerous
fanatics no matter if their goal is left OR right."
    --Stonekettle

"Just want to point out how fucking obscene it is that you can pay taxes in
the US with a credit card."
    --Isis Agora Lovecruft

"RSA [Conference] is helping my imposter syndrome."
    --Vlad

"And now, the traditional butterball battle cry... OOOHHHHH SSSHHHHIIIIIII...."
    --Microchip, skydiving, _Punisher War Journal_

"They got money for wars but can't feed the poor."
    --Tupac Shakur

"Google meet has absolutely shit the bed all over Zooko's Triangle and I will
rap battle anyone who comes at me trying to say otherwise."
    --Maradydd

"When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men in a society, over the
course of time they create for themselves a legal system that authorizes it
and a moral code that glorifies it."
    --Frederic Bastiat, economist

"He had a cartoon mind and was straight out of Hollywood Squares."
    --Bootsy Collins, on Shock-G

"Differential fuzzing for x86-64 decoders.  Dis gon be complicated."
   --Maradydd

"I pay low wages.  I can take advantage of that.  We're going to be
successful, but the basis is a very low-wage, low-benefit model of employment."
    --Sam Walton

"The simplest solution to the fermi paradox is that you are a Boltzmann brain
that just popped into reality 10^110 years from now, hallucinating your own
existence as it asphyxiates in the utterly dark void.  Just face it, this
tweet is the last thing you're hallucinating as cosmic heat death overtakes
you."
    --Pookleblinky

"Dear Infosec Awareness Training People: If you want to sell to healthcare,
hire experienced RNs.  They will tell you exactly what you need to change so
that people will actually take your training."
    --Mitch Parker

"The Internet is never going to be the wacky place it was when I had a
Livejournal and people shared protean gifs in the form of YTMNDs.  Big
business has come to suck the joy (and your dollars) out of it."
    --Robert G. Reeve

"Young white girlboss feminists are so obsessed with taking sex worker jobs
away for being 'immoral' because their Onlyfans got two likes from hometown
creeps when they made it.  Like if you're 20 and HATE sex work/sex workers.
We know it's cause you couldn't make money at it and failed."
    --Chelle Silverstein

"Before you smash those LIKE and SUBSCRIBE buttons, spare a thought for that
poor maintenance worker at YouTube who has to repair those smashed buttons
before the next viewer comes along."
    --Rob T. Firefly

"Am pretty sure that if they reintroduced hangings tomorrow, Priti Patel would
eagerly attend every execution she could get to.  (And attempt to make capital
punishment mandatory for as many offenses as possible.)"
    --Charles Stross

"'78888u7uy6,' says the cat.  Now she's licking her asshole.  Cats have a
lot to teach us."
    --Eve

"Is this an abusive question?  It is rooted completely in reality, but, you
know, it's an unpleasant topic.  Seems Twitter would rather bad people do
bad things than good people like me describe how bad they are."
    --Doc Zombie

"There is nothing funny about making fun of the things other people love.
It's simply a sign that you have nothing you love more than making fun of
others.  Get a better hobby."
    --Tarah Wheeler

"When I was poor and complained about inequality they said I was bitter.  Now
that I'm rich and I complain about inequality I'm a hypocrite.  I'm beginning
to think they just don't want to talk about inequality."
    --Russell Brand

"When the USA threatens a country with a leftist government that it must have
a 'free and fair election,' what it really means is the US has a gun to that
nation's collective head and says 'Either the right-wing candidate we funded
and trained wins, or we keep waging war on you.'"
    --Benjamin Norton

"The easier it is for you to access your data, the easier it is for someone
else to access your data."
    --Schofield's Third Law

"In MDDT, no one can hear you scream -- but everybody can hear you say
'whoops!'"
    --VAF@CMU-CS-C

"I was in a band when every other person was in a band, maybe because of the
Cold War and we didn't expect to live for long.  We didn't expect employment,
because half of us had no skills and the other half didn't know how to apply
the skills that we had, and we reacted to the world because it weighed heavily
on us."
    --Andrew Eldritch

"My advice to young people in infosec is to not get your advice from Twitter."
    --Rabbit

"If you remember that cows have infinite surface tension, I have something to
show you at the gay bar."
    --Pookleblinky

"Consider each individual thing you do and ask yourself whether to lose it
through death makes death itself any cause for fear."
    --Marcus Aurelius

"The responsibility for fighting surveillance abuse falls to tech companies,
because nobody even pretends that the Federal government and courts are
functional moral actors."
    --Matthew Green

"The beauty of capitalism is that everyone, both individuals and investment
firms alike, have equal opportunity in the market.  If you save up your wages
and want to buy a house in your hometown, you can simply outbid Blackrock when
they buy an entire subdivision of 65,000 homes."
    --Lauren L. Walker

"Look mom I'm on Aliexpress and haven't purchased anything weird!"
    --Kiwa

"Mutual aid is the GOAL, not a grift.  We're supposed to be working toward a
society where we help each other.  Also, you know, many people are in dire
need of help because of the pandemic."
    --Edgar Allen Bitch

"Every day on Twitter brings new opportunities for strangers with no
background in my field to explain the last ten years of my own work to me."
    --@evacide

"Naive, Polly Ann-ish to think anyone in power will face consequences. 
'Justice' is run by the same power and is there to maintain that power.
It's like the HR dept of any business.  There to protect the business not
the people."
    --Steve Sayles

"This could be less 'global elite coverup conspiracy' and more 'long, grinding
investigations don't really grab headlines'."
    --Werwolfram

"In a time of extreme threat, complacency is complicity.  The end result is
the same."
    --Sarah Kendzior

"Before you are disgusted: This is a Swiss/Italian kitchen and there are fewer
particles on the floor than in an Intel 7nm fab."
    --Arrigo Triulzi

"You know guys, it ain't gonna look like gilead, but more like Biff's Pleasure
Palace with public hangings."
    --Javier Grillo-Marxuach

"I'm getting whatever hormones are Turing complete because I'm going to see if
I can root them and sideload DOOM onto my gender."
    --Foone

"You cannot be expected to know something that you don't know.  You cannot
know someone's secrets, the behaviors that they know are illicit and will
result in ostracization and likely criminal charges, by their interactions
on Twitter."
    --0xdade

"There is nothing to be gained from publicly arguing with people who are
insistent that you debate them on things which should not be subject to debate.
Bigots love using the premise of 'civil debate' as a mechanism for platforming
their hate."
    --Elle Armageddon

"The cicadas waited seventeen years for Pride month.  Don't disappoint them.
Be as loud as possible.  Like a cicada."
    --Sue the T-Rex

"So far, the main side effect of my booster has been a slightly sticky adhesive
residue when I removed the unusually strong bandaid they put over the injection
site."
    --Matt Blaze

"If my game gives you pleasure for longer than it takes you to drink a fancy
coffee, I don't think you should complain about my game costing as much as a
fancy coffee."
    --Manuela Malasaña

"If you *were* a rapidly asphyxiating random clump of brain tissue in the
sterile void of the end of the universe, it'd explain a lot about why things
seem so fucked up."
    --Pookleblinky

"Seeing a dildo at a parade is infinitely less damaging to a developing brain
than whatever you saw on 4chan 15 years ago that made you like this."
    --Tim Sutton

"There's a culture war going on, and it's come for tech.  Be sympathetic. 
Nerds aren't supposed to be bullies, but we sure took everyone's lunch money. 
Journalism got defunded, and 'user generated content' is not enough.  But
don't forget that tech can be fun and useful."
    --Dan Kaminsky

"Children are wonderful.  I can lazily waggle my fingers, and my son is
dripping with smiles, totally enraptured by the unlimited possibility of
being.  Adults watch world-champion gymnastics and are like, ''Didn't exactly
nail that landing, did she?''"
    --Edward Snowden

"It is good and brave to be soft and warm when the world is hard and mean."
    --KITTEN.EXE

"I feel sorry for them [the Met] having to go through that fucking phone."
    --Barrett Brown, on his phone being confiscated

"The premise of half the games on Steam now is ''You've become the owner of
a dilapidated house|village|ranch|etc, now restore it to its former glory!'' 
Homeownership is a fantasy scenario on par with becoming a legendary hero
or piloting a cool mech."
    --Proto

"Thinking about all the Gofundmes for insulin, a drug purposefully developed
to be easy and cheap to make so it would take next to nothing to produce in
order to make sure anybody would be able to afford it to survive, being short
by just a little of their several hundred dollar goals.  To get a medicine
that costs pennies per ounce to create."
    --Elle

"A thought leader is the first few centimeters of unusable thought used to
connect it to the thought takeup reel."
    --DJ Sundog

"The tools of war you can physically see no longer indicate whom holds the
power."
    --MC Hammer (no, seriously)

"If Western society as a whole and Americans in very specific would just come
out and say 'Yes, we know the climate and fascism and whatnot are fucked up
and no we really don't give a shit' I wouldn't feel quite so much like I'm
being fucking gaslit."
    --Technoccult

"Found this article on HNews about a new sort of Rowhammer attack.  As a
hardware fan, it always amazes me to see those things as it reminds us that
even with all the abstraction that we want, it's still electric signal down
there."
    --Meandres

"If you put 'hail Hydra' on statues in every town in the region you don't have
to announce in print that you're down with Hydra, everyone who lives there
gets it."
    --The Mittani

"Oh fuck me I'm on Hacker News.  Which, in a way, is ironic, because 'I made
the mistake of using Twitter' is the number one problem Hacker News has
with me."
    --Foone

"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you."
    --Robin Williams

"I see we're stressing out over the idea that if you don't debut by a certain
age, you're doomed.  I signed with my agent on my forty-seventh birthday.  I
won the world fantasy award for that novel when I was fifty years old.  The
only thing that art asks of you is to do it."
    --C.L.Polk

"It's only simple if you don't understand it."
    --Glytchtech

"I knew I was the only poor person at my tech startup because nobody else ate
the Hot Cheetos that were stocked in our free snack kitchen.  Seaweed snacks
were always empty.  Nobody had those telltale red stains on their fingers
but me."
    --Meg Elison

"Assuming that describing the Palestinians' situation as 'apartheid' is just
a 'talking point,' and not a debatable but sincere characterization of
hardship experienced by millions of actual human beings is what I mean by
'shallowness.'"
    --Nicholas Grossman

"Well there's no possible way that a bunch of people who don't understand
science and who are paranoid about societal change are going to intentionally
misrepresent this article and whip their followers into a delirious panic."
    --Deviant Ollam, on the announcement of the world's smallest functioning
      single chip system, tiny enough that it fits in a hypodermic needle

"'We heard people were baselessly speculating about microchips being in the
COVID-19 vaccine, so we wanted to allay those fears with this proof of
concept' - who the hell approved this tweet?"
    --Drew Rickett, on the announcement of the world's smallest functioning
      single chip system, tiny enough that it fits in a hypodermic needle

"The fact that people are literally dying on the street without anyone trying
to help is a direct outcome of people's willingness to ignore suffering."
    --Dr. Lucianne Walkowicz

"Crypto nerds will pattern-match, drawing enormous red yarn collages that
prove they are very smart, that indisputably prove why you should give them
money."
    --Pookleblinky

"Accidentally typed 'Turing Complicit' instead of 'Turing complete' into a
doc and now I'm all distracted by the implications of the former."
    --Dan Hon

"Success is more about luck and opportunity/circumstances than deliberate
construction.  Making something good is the entry point, sure, but there's
lots of good stuff that doesn't make it.  This is why success by imitation
can be a real crapshoot."
    --Fred Hicks

"Being old enough to remember the later '50s, and able to experience 2021, is
to finally be, as we said in the late '60s, 'mindfucked'."
    --William Gibson

"Fun fact: The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 33 minutes, performed by the
child sitting behind me on United flight 842 from LA to Tokyo."
    --Roslynne Levine

"Maybe if you understood why that behavior made sense at the time, you might
learn something about intense production pressure and (reportedly) slow and
cumbersome infra change approval processes.  As Conklin says, you can blame
or you can learn; you can't do both."
    --@ReinH

"There's just not much further progress to be made fighting a culture war.
I hate that they politicized it, but they did.  So we need to go to incentives
outside the political process."
    --Brianna Wu

"I keep trying to call attention of deliberately corporatized nudity and kink
that we see so often we literally stop acknowledging it for what it is, the
line between what we decide is or isn't 'acceptable' is often the checkout
line."
    --Alex Arrelia

"So my working theory is that if you assemble enough enterprise software ads,
an airport spontaneously forms around them."
    --Patrick Collison

"Everybody is an atheist until they clog a toilet in someone else's house."
    --Anonymous

"A long time ago I used to joke about needing a license analysis tool.  And
then I ended up inserting them into build pipelines for the various
$corporate_overlords.  I imagine this will lead to new entries in project
signoff sheets for risk analysis pertaining to the odds of some human somehow
involved in a library we use deciding our company sucks, some API provider
making bank providing up-to-date corporate blacklist analysis, various other
lawyers confusing everything by intentionally misunderstanding what's going
on, and a fun new round of the 'Is open source worth it?' game.  Because what
we really had too little of was IP lawyers fucking about in engineering
decisions."
    --Different Jamie

"Our critical infrastructure was not just vulnerable to supply chain attacks,
but that we still hadn't nailed the security basics.  They worried about
ninjas when a 5 year old with a baseball bat could take us out."
    --Katie Moussouris

"This pandemic has fundamentally shaken my faith in human nature.  I used to
think that at our core, people were basically good.  What we've been shown is
that huge portions of the American population, disproportionately white men,
are aggressively, suicidally selfish."
    --Brianna Wu

"Remember there's a person behind the avatar.  Be decent to each other."
    --Medus4

"I had forgotten that 73 years ago, when _South Pacific_ debuted, its rather
mildly stated anti-racist themes were attacked as anti-American and
communist-inspired, and were met with performative legislation."
    --@popehat

"When the polio vaccine dropped in 1955 people lined up to get it, and we were
two years away from artificial satellites.  Now in 2021 we carry external
world-brains in our pockets and there's robots on Mars, and idiots think the
covid vaccine is full of poison."
    --Patton Oswalt

"I am always baffled by the level of dismissiveness with which some people out
in these streets treat shit that could literally mean someone's death.  Acting
like public health or civil rights or hateful, genocidal rhetoric is all just
some fucking logic puzzle-ass intellectual exercise.  Which is just so much
garbage.  People whined about reaching herd immunity for months, and then,
presented with the one viable way to actually reach it, did everything in
their power to deny it."
    --Technoccult

"Mitch [McConnel] and [Charles] Schumer just sit in their offices drinking
scotch laughing about how they have the majority of the population thinking
they are fighting each other."
    --AT

"I once read that the rules of building credit make a lot more sense if viewed
as 'How profitable are you to loan money to?' as opposed to 'How trustworthy
are you?'"
    --@emptysetgo

"I didn't realise so many people would think this is a lie.  Fine, be cynical.
This happened, I was speechless in the moment, did what I did and that's it.
I'm sorry I shared, but thank you to all the people that liked this, it's a
special moment for me."
    --Ben James

"I have a feeling in 20 years the biggest effect of covid will have been its
effect on antibiotic and antifungal resistances, as billions of people in
countries denied vaccine access are exposed to nosocomial infections in
overwhelmed hospitals.  Imagine it is the year 2030 and organ transplants are
simply no longer possible due to a lack of any effective antibiotic/antifungal
medications to treat inevitable nosocomial infections.  Suddenly, prognosis
for renal failure returns to what it was in the 1960's."
    --Pookleblinky

"The legibility grooves in society are self-wearing."
    --Robin Tarsiger

"I feel the need to continue wearing my mask outside even though I'm fully
vaccinated because the inconvenience of having to wear a mask is more than
worth it to have people not think I'm a conservative."
    --David Hogg

"In a parallel dimension I'm Emperor Norton and have an 18 inch dick.  And
so do you."
    --Richard Metzger

"Never, by the way, be afraid of being wrong.  Being wrong just means the
world is more interesting than you thought it was."
    --Dan Kaminsky

"The FBI loves the X-Files because it makes people associate government
coverups with wacky shit like Roswell instead of actual atrocities like
COINTELPRO."
    --Technomancy

"Nearly everything that matters is a side effect."
    --Maradydd

"The greatest tragedy of this changing society is that people who never knew
what it was like before will simply assume that this is the way things are
supposed to be."
    --2600 Magazine, Fall 2002

"Politics is like driving. D to go forward, R to go backwards."
    --Phil Shapiro

"Drink TAB.  It's just like the fucking Andromeda Strain!"
    --Rev. Susie the Floozie

"No one cares.  It's only security."
    --Clarence Fender

"This 'try multiple algorithms until one of them happens to work' approach is
profoundly unethical - especially since we don't have separate training, test,
and validation sets - but at least we're being honest about what we're doing,
instead of inventing a fancy-but-obfuscatory technical term like 'ensemble
methods' or 'hyperparameter tuning'."
    --Colin McMillen and Tim Toady, _93% of Paint Splatters are Valid Perl
      Programs_

"Boss makes a dollar / I make a dime / that's why my algorithms run / in
exponential time"
    --Nat Alison

"Truth is, there's some Very Notable Books out there, books with cachet - and
they're books in styles that you don't particularly enjoy.  It's fine to read
pulp!  It's fine to read for fun!  Not every book must be A Deep Tome!"
    --Ferrett Steinmetz

"If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that
fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and
heartbeats."
    --Fortune

"At some point, your experience is based on factors that are no longer
relevant... There's a point when you've succeeded that folks want your advice,
then there's one where your experience is irrelevant."
    --Fred Hicks

"LIZ! YOUR WIFE IS BROKEN!"
    --Dave, _Real Life Comics_

"HaD [Hackaday] comments are all armchair enginerds that love to rip into
people for 'mistakes'."
    --Gartral

"There's absolutely nothing one can say or do here that, if sufficiently
amplified, won't enrage someone."
    --Matt Blaze

"STOP TWEETING WORD SALAD AT ME YOU IDIOT."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"Pretty sure they named a mountain after the distribution based on how often
I've said, ''[I'll] Kill You Manjaro'' at my Manjaro ARM64/Raspberry Pi
install."
    --Doc Skrzyk

"Double standards are the only standards."
    --Definitely Not John

"If you're going to have a goddamn conspiracy theory, try to have one that's a
little smarter.  Just show a little class, for God's sake, not to mention some
brainpower."
    --Lilith Saintcrow

"It's always September somewhere on the Internet."
   --Bill Woodcock

"Walmart parking lots are PvP enabled zones."
   --Mungus von Bungus

"Netrunning is all metaphor, all symbols and plumbing into the depths of the
psyche.  Sometimes that means tentacles."
    --Akiko Nisei

"I want to be an eldritch monster from beyond space and time."
   --Puella Vulnerata

"As a technologist you can't game-theorize away the potential harm to actual
individuals and vulnerable populations for a potential upside of your
technology decisions that justifies externalizing the risk.  Engaging in that
type of calculus of decision-making is the essence of techbro-ism."
    --Vortex Egg

"Be proactively paranoid.  It doesn't work retroactively."
    --zpojqwfejwfhiunz

"This isn't brain surgery; it's just television."
    -- David Letterman

"The future's so dim, I gotta wear photomultiplier tubes and 3 megalitres of
water to detect its presence."
    --Lynne

"Everything's fake until it happens."
    --Dayglow Chainsaw

"There shouldn't be any shame in writing small software.  Everything doesn't
have to scale.  If you build something cool it's valid and good if it makes
you or just a few people happy.  This doesn't make you a bad programmer."
    --Requiem

"Sure it's food grade, if you're a geothermal vent snail."
    --Pagrus

"Reminder: In practice things are utter chaos and it doesn't work like in a
simulation."
    --Lanodan

"_The Humpty Dance_ spoke to all the people that were like him [Humpty Hump] -
the fat people, the unattractive people.  If you moved like him, you could be
whatever you want."
    --Nzazi Malonga, on _Do the Humpty Dance_ by Digital Underground

"Schadenfreude is like masturbation; anyone who claims not to enjoy it is
lying, but anyone who does it in public is a pervert.  Also, wash your hands
afterwards."
    --Maradydd

"In pursuit of power the evangelicals have forsaken their Christian witness."
    --Kent Dahlgren's stepdad

"'This air fryer has remote code execution vulnerabilities' is not a sentence
that anyone should ever have to write, but here we are."
    --Rich Kulawiec

"Perhaps it's a little easier to take a piece of music than it is to learn how
to play the guitar or something.  True, just like it's probably easier to snap
a picture with that camera than it is to actually paint a picture.  But what
the photographer is to the painter is what the modern DJ and computer musician
is to the instrumentalist."
    --Shock G

"To really try to be informed and literate today is to feel stupid nearly all
the time and to need help."
    --Dallas Ft. Wallace

"I just realized that every coast of Antarctica is its northern coast."
    --Distel

"Sex work fucked me up because it led me to believe that there was a
relationship between hard work and success.  I've learned that in the Real
World, hard work does not lead to success, it leads to people deciding that
you're disposable."
    --Furrygirl

"You don't have to constantly consume trauma in order to know injustice exists."
    --Unknown

"I love it when I post about design failings for FOSS projects and get
unsolicited howtos on how to assemble some sort of Rube Goldberg machine.  Like,
isn't the point to not have to assemble Voltron every time and just skip to the
metaphorical mecha/kaiju ass kicking.  Connect your own goddamn dynatherms."
    --Doc Skrzyk

"If you think human rights are more important than property rights, you're not
a conservative.  If you think property rights are human rights, you are a
conservative."
    --Steven Brust

"Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be
in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom
the law binds but does not protect.  There is nothing more or else to it, and
there never has been, in any place or time."
    --Frank Wilhoit

"One idiot inventing one good joke is worth a thousand scientists making
a-bombs!"
    --Rev. Ivan Stang

"If your life is making too much sense it's your fuckin' fault!"
    --Rev. Suzie the Floozie

"Obviously, Dr. Wellington Yueh's reincarnation as Admiral Albert Callavici was
driven by his regret over the betrayal of the Atreides and his desire to be a
true companion, helper, and friend to someone engaged in a noble cause.  Paul
Atreides' reincarnation as Dale Cooper was, of course, driven by his being sick
and despairing at prescience and desiring a world of uncertainty, mystery and
freedom."
    --Azure, playing the "characters played by actor reincarnation motive" game

"NoxPlayer got stuck at 99% 'loading,' with ads for shitty waifu games.  Why
are there waifu games when Pornhub exists?"
    --Mark Hughes

"You can tell the pandemic is winding down because Americans are getting back
to the more traditional ways of needlessly, wantonly, and preventably killing
each other."
    --David Ehrlich

"There is only one party in the United States, the Property Party... and it has
two right wings: Republican and Democrat.  Republicans are a bit stupider, more
rigid, more doctrinaire in their laissez-faire capitalism than the Democrats,
who are cuter, pretter, a bit more corrupt - until recently... and more willing
than the Republicans to make small adjustments when the poor, the black, the
anti-imperialists get out of hand.  But, essentially, there is no difference
between the two parties."
    --Gore Vidal

"Esolangs are supposed to test the boundaries of language design, and the only
boundary I can think of that Go pushes is 'most boring language possible.'"
    --Freakazoid

"Loud intimidation works once.  Stealth is the gift that keeps them screaming."
    --Hasufin

"The real reason we dream is that our brains were programmed in BASIC and a
comment is being interpreted as a command, probably because of a bug in the
implementation."
    --Foone

"Stop arguing with sock puppets in my mentions!  You have better things to do
with your day!"
    --Laurel Powell

"There's a very limited demographic of aging dumbasses."
    --th3j35t3r

"She took the time to read the instructions.  If that's not evidence of the
divine, I don't know what is."
    --Liz, _Real Life Comics_

"Today, Plato is nearly forgotten.  His beliefs include the notion that people
who govern should be intelligent, rational, self-controlled, and in love with
wisdom.  An idea that has long been discredited."
    --Bobby Henderson

"Occasionally, people will call us out on that whole ''Fuck 'em if they can't
take a joke'' thing.  ''Well, that just excuses everything!''  No!  It's
just funny!  We don't care if they get the joke or not.  Half of 'em can't."
    --Rev. Ivan Stang

"Roko's Basilisk is what happens when a spherical cow becomes a golden calf."
    --Pete Wolfendale

"Every time I listen to one of these Chinese spam voicemails, I get nervous
that I'm about to snowcrash or something."
    --Genetik

"Paranoia stopped being a mental illness a decade ago."
    --Desert Child

"There are a lot of very capable people waking up every day and choosing to
continue civilization as we know it."
    --Feonixrift

"You don't even shake hands.  You oughta see a shrink."
"Miss Belair, if you feel compelled to grab part of my body and shake it
before you can even be friendly you've got far worse problems than you think
I have."
    --_The Wizard of Speed and Time_

"If you ever get to a point in life where you wake up and life's veil of
mystery is gone from your mind, and everything about everything is totally and
completely clear to you, and you see it all, and there IS no more doubt in
your head about anything or anybody and everything is completely crystalline,
perfectly clear to you like an azure sky of deepest summer... at that point,
watch the fuck out, because you can bet the goddamn farm that you have gone
completely insane."
    --Phin

"Soliciting attention engenders attention.  Make strategic decisions as to
what will be attended, the spectacle or the stage-hands.  If the spectacle is
well-wrought nobody knows nor needs to know who the stage-hands were.  So
much grief could be spared if people had but a passing respect for the
perennial principles of theatrics."
    --James Bolivar DiGriz, on why people doing the right thing are punished
      but people up to no good get away with everything

"Let me explain life to you: Everything conspires to give you psychological
problems.  Your purpose is to pass those on.  Then the next generation can
create a bunch of whiny emo music, too."
    --Kurt Harland

"We don't use the term 'working class' here because it's a taboo term.  You're
supposed to say 'middle class,' because it helps diminish the understanding
that there's a class war going on."
    --Noam Chomsky

"Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of
their replies.  They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge.
But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to
use words responsibly, since he believes in words.  The anti-Semites have
the right to play.  They even like to play with discourse for, by giving
ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors.
They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound
argument but to intimidate and disconcert.  If you press them too closely,
they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time
for argument is past."
    --Jean-Paul Sartre

"Anyway, I don't know that I'm on team Aggressive Seuss Corporation Brand
Management, but let's not pretend we're dealing with stone tablets engraved
by God here."
    --Sam Thielman

"No Shmoocon this year, but you can simulate the experience by trying to get
a COVID vaccine appointment."
    --Matt Blaze

"This isn't referring to any specific event, but I'd just like to say that
you don't *have* to have a publicly, loudly stated opinion on everything that
happens in this fandom.  You are allowed to go 'huh' and move on."
    --Ennex

"I am not a 'white hat' or an 'infoseccer'.  Y'all too busy writing blog posts
and giving Powerpoint presentations to be doing what I'm doing."
    --@donk_enby

"I'm either being spanked or he's holding my butt in place while the glue
dries."
    --Jamie French

"Why would we want to bounce ancient encrypted messages off the side of their
tower?!"
"To freak out the neighbors, and to get one up on Rex."
"You make a good point..."
    --Brian Brushwood and Jason Murphy, _Secret Laser Communications via
      Polybius Square_

"There needs to be a great awakening of the human psyche to not be so damned
gullible."
    --Joseph Matheny

"Tips From Joe #427: If you're having dinner with important people and feel
a sneeze coming on, immediately take a sip of water.  This may not stop the
sneeze, but it will make the result infinitely more entertaining.  You're
welcome."
    --J. Michael Straczynski

"In principle the war effort is always so planned as to eat up any surplus
that might exist after meeting the bare needs of the population."
    --George Orwell, _1984_

"Sometimes it's better to be a bit dumb because then you do not overthink
things and you take more risks."
    --Damoor Sahami

"You do not need to become a 'better' person after you experience trauma.  It
is not some transformational experience where you always end up with
superpowers.  Sometimes it just sucks.  Just surviving it is enough you're
doing great."
    --Andrew Roebuck

"I love the stock market because when it goes up we get nothing, but when it
goes down we all lose our jobs.  Except during a pandemic when it goes up and
we still lose our jobs."
    --@yeoldedad

"A musket and a mustache can't make a coward brave."
    --Michael Harriot

"The lesson from a year of global lockdown is that it is abundantly clear that
there is absolutely no combination of individual efforts that can change our
climate destiny.  Change has to happen at immense scale, which means the top
emitters must change."
    --Emily Gorcenski

"Cherry blossoms fall / Xist saucers are in the skies / time to burn, pink boy!"
    --Nikolai Kingsley

"Before you correct someone on here [Twitter] about getting something wrong,
you can check to see if they've already been corrected and whether they
willingly and graciously received that correction.  If they already have, you
can go do something else!"
    --Danya Ruttenberg

"I find it so amusing how a country so radicalized with 'Christianity' (their
view of Christianity is so far from Roman Catholicism the only thing in common
is Jesus and God) has literally a golden bull on their front steps."
    --Nico

"Here's an idea, spread the rumor that the government is spraying vaccine in
the air at mass vax sites.  That will keep anti vax away and make anti maskers
mask up.  They'll believe anything."
    --Melanie Villeda

"May the less dysfunctional team win."
    --Left Red Bumper

"Your method is more ethical, my method is more reliable."
    --Hasufin

"Our death ray doesn't seem to be working.  I'm standing right in it, and
I'm not dead yet."
    --Jamie Hyneman

"I love low res CGA graphics, they always looked so otherworldly."
    --Polychrome

"Really, it /is/ 2021.  Chucky *could* be loose in Texas with his demon-doll
child Glen/Glenda.  This wouldn't even be top 5 weird shit of the year."
    --Mark Hughes

"Liars do not fear the truth if there are enough liars."
    --Fox Mulder

"It is easier to fight the ghosts in your head than the real demons standing
right in front of you."
   --The Doctor

"Technology does not need vast troves of personal data stitched together
across dozens of websites and apps in order to succeed.  Advertising existed
and thrived for decades without it, and we're here today because the path of
least resistance is rarely the path of wisdom."
    --Tim Cook

"We can't give you all the answers.  But we can help you flesh out your
fantasy that there are some."
    --Michael Peppe

"Anyone who attempts any organization of any kind in this house should wear
elbow pads."
    -Laurelindel

"A committee is just like a neural net but without the ability to make
decisions."
   --Nick Carraway

"I couldn't get elected in Florida District #1 even if I was giving away free
AR-15s."
    --@stonekettle

"History will tell lies, sir, as usual."
    --Gentleman Johnny Burgoyne, _The Devil's Disciple_

"Trouble with remote access is your threat model now includes every psychopath
who can use Shodan."
    --atman

"It's amazing how people who don't understand how to use search engines are
sure that there is a deep conspiracy to ban them, whether it's Bitcoin, or a
right-wing Christian who was convinced their 'Prophetic Message to Joe Biden'
was banned, when they haven't stopped and considered that there a huge numbers
of other web pages that might described by their overly broad search term."
    --Theodore T'so

"Privacy, to the surprise and disappointment of cypherpunks, turns out to be
in little demand."
    --jrzx

"I don't do lectures, I do standup philosophy."
   --Robert Anton Wilson

"People are becoming personas but forgetting who they are."
   --Joseph Matheny

"It's odd to watch the House managers put forth an impenetrable case backed
with solid evidence and irrefutable argument followed by the Trump lawyers'
clown show, all over issues of profound importance, and know it's
predetermined that the clown show will prevail."
    --Radley Balko

"Blaming the Texas power outages on things like the Green New Deal is like...
is like... is like... Sorry folks, I don't have a folksy analogy.  It's just
plain dishonest, stupid, and dangerous.  We need solutions based on science,
not sophistry."
    --Dan Rather

"Although if you want to get into stupid nitpicking drama or you are a
Wikipedia editor (but I repeat myself) there are TECHNICALLY only three Make
My Video games."
    --Foone

"The City and County, along with power providers or any other service owes you
NOTHING!  I'm sick and tired of people looking for a damn handout!... If you
are sitting at home in the cold because you have no power and are sitting
there waiting for someone to come rescue you because your laziness is direct
result of your raising!  I'll be damned if I'm going to provide for anyone
that is capable of doing it themselves!... Bottom line, quit crying and
looking for a handout!  Get off your ass and take care of your own family!
Only the strong will survive and the weak will perish."
    --Tim Boyd, former mayor of Colorado City, Texas, during the winter storm
      of 2021 (heavily corrected for spelling and grammar, because he's a
      product of the USian public school system)

"'Deploying a popular hypertext utility resource with k8s clusters and Kafka
for use monitoring...'  Buddy, it's just a blog."
    --ejmg

"One of the hardest things I've had to learn is that humans aren't pure
functions: An input that works one day and gets one result, then again another
day and gets an entirely different result."
    --Sarah Drasner

"Trump is the face of our collective idiocy.  He is what lies behind the mask
of our professed civility and rationality, a sputtering, narcissistic,
bloodthirsty megalomaniac."
    --Chris Hedges

"People seem good while they are oppressed, but they only wish to become
oppressors in their turn: Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal
rather than the victim."
    --Bertrand Russell

"Hello, I am here to derail the Rust discussion before it gets started."
    --ddevault

"The year 2021 has taught us, if nothing else, that we can be sure that lies,
misinformation, and bullshit are post-scarce resources in modern society."
    --Soatok

"Being intelligent is not a felony.  But most societies evaluate it as at
least a misdemeanor."
    --Robert A. Heinlein

"You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing after they've
tried everything else."
    --Winston Churchill

"Is a Twitter exodus not connected to right-wing extremists too much to ask
for?"
    --Gargron

"God, the 68k chip in DIP is such a fucking unit.  What a chad of a chip.
You could defend your home with one of these things, it's like a 2x4."
    --Labgirl

"Gender is a performance.  I'll be playing 4'33'' by John Cage."
    --wizardofdocs

"If one can assemble a reasonably functional computer by shaking a few MCUs
together in a bag with some wires and solder, and the thing that makes a
pinephone a phone is a modem that has audio in/out lines and serial interfaces,
there is absolutely no reason that 2021 could not be the year of the CP/M
smartphone."
    --DJ Sundog

"To insist on a spiritual practice that served you in the past is to carry the
raft on your back after you have crossed the river."
    --Gautama Buddha

"Anyone who takes the time to ponder and respond thoughtfully with context
and explanation will find that they're too late."
    --Mike Crittenden

"You know what solves it?  When the economy crashes, when the country goes to
total hell and everything is a disaster.  Then you'll have a [chuckles], you
know, you'll have riots to go back to where we used to be when we were great."
    --Steve Bannon

"You're wrong, stop trying to spread wrong like gonorrhea in the Theater
Department."
    --Popehat, _Hello, You've Been Referred Here Because You're Wrong About
      the First Amendment_

"The reason that Gab, et al will fail is because they're just whining bitches
that have only one ideology: Egotism.  Sharing is caring, y'all."
    --brokep

"If you judge a man by his enemies, I'm doing pretty well."
    --Edward Snowden

"I mark how long I want the steel rod to be, and cut it down with my Dremel.
Now, a hacksaw would work, too, but a hacksaw wouldn't make all these neat
sparks."
    --Odin Makes

"The way mathematics is currently taught it is exceedingly dull.  In the
calculus book we are currently using on my campus, I found no single problem
whose answer I felt the student would care about!  The problems in the text
have the dignity of solving a crossword puzzle - hard to be sure, but the
result is of no significance in life."
    --Dr. Richard Hamming

"Induction counsels anxiety now."
    --Phil Stewart

"I've been trying to warn people that the apocalypse is boring."
    --RU.Sirius

"When you know something, it is almost impossible to imagine what it is like
not to know that thing.  This is the curse of knowledge, and it is the root
of countless misunderstandings and inefficiencies.  Smart people who are
comfortable with complexity can be especially prone to it!  If you don't guard
against the curse of knowledge it has the potential to obfuscate all forms of
communication, including code.  The more specialized your work, the greater
the risk that you will communicate in ways that are incomprehensible to the
uninitiated."
    --Joel Goldberg

"The major philosophical battle of our time is no longer left versus right,
it's smart versus stupid."
    --Rohan Connolly

"Good thing this isn't a how-to video, I never said I knew what I was doing."
    --Offensive Jerk

"Nobody really knows what the Bourne shell's grammar is.  Even examination of
the source code is little help."
    --Tom Duff

"I hate to say it, but it does not look like the people with a conscience
are winning."
    --Richard Brooks

"Anytime the explanation to something appears 'cynically obvious,' I take that
to be a sign to stop being cynical, and instead ask the foolish questions
that a more cynical mind would write off as having obvious answers."
    --Vortex Egg

"My body isn't a temple, it's a punk show bathroom."
    --Bella?

"If I wasn't wearing pants, I bet you could tell using this!  What a weird
metric..."
    --Adam Savage

"All ideas become vulnerable when they leave the safety of the imagination."
    --Grant Morrison

"The world you expected to be the future didn't happen.  We were supposed to
get _The Jetsons_ and instead we're not sure if we're gonna get fed."
    --Mike Pondsmith

"I worked for a company that debated going open source.  Several people strong
objected to 'giving away the crown jewels.'  But we decided to open it up, and
release the code.  A year later, we checked the server logs, and found it had
been downloaded this many times: 0.  What many companies don't realize is that
no one, not even their competitors, wants their code.  They are way too busy
trying to understand and fix their own code.  They don't have time to waste
trying to understand yours."
    --Shanghai Bill

"From curiosity, entitlement often blooms and calls itself 'skepticism.'"
    --Soatok

"Let the meek inherit the earth.  The wise and the strong move on.  As always."
    --Timothy Leary

"Agile software is when you assign a point value to all your user stories and
make tasks for all of them, and then you wind up doing whatever the PM says is
urgent."
    --Best Girl Grace

"There are two laws no human being can escape: The first idea that comes into
a person's mind will be the most obvious one; and, having had an obvious idea,
nobody ever thinks that others may have had the same idea before."
    --Umberto Eco

"You know what I admire most about you, Summers?  Your icy calm lunacy under
pressure."
    --Wolverine, _The New X-Men: E is for Extinction_

"Any sufficiently developed technology is an Arthur C. Clarke quote."
    --Doc Skrzyk

"The thick plottens."
    --Billy Goodman

"Humanity always reaches for the stars when it comes to killing itself."
    --Samurai Jack Bauer

"Instead of electing visionary leaders, we are in fact just voting for middle
managers in a complex, global system that nobody fully controls."
    --Adam Curtis

"We live in an era where voters have record levels of distrust for politicians,
partly because they can feel this disconnect - they see from everyday reality
that, despite their claims, politicians can't effect change.  Not really.
They might not understand why, exactly, but there's this increasing sense that
leaders have lost the ability to make fundamental changes to our economic and
social realities.  The result is a large body of mainstream voters that wants
to burn down the status quo.  They want change, but don't see politicians
being able to deliver it."
    --Tim Maughan

"I just enjoy megalomania, whether it be mine or another's."
    --the_gibson

"If someone is looking out for your best interests, and they ask for your
repeated instructions in writing, have a think about what you're demanding."
    --Kelemvor Sparkyfox

"When you're under the harsh glare of constantly being analysed, that shapes
you whether you want it to or not.  It's a germ or a seed that's planted in
your mind.  It can take surprising turns and it can affect your growth."
    --Debbie Harry

"Why does the gnosis always get busted?  Every single time the energy is
raised and large-scale group illuminations are occurring, the local branch of
the Inquisition kills it dead.  Why, why, why?"
    --Grady McMurtry

"Everybody's an agent.  Some of them don't even know who they're an agent for."
    --William S. Burroughs

"The young better learn fast that most leaders betray followers and the ones
who don't are dangerously inflexible."
    --Timothy Leary

"Muad'Dib learned rapidly because his first training was in how to learn.  And
the first lesson of all was the basic trust that he could learn.  It's shocking
to find how many people do not believe they can learn, and how many more
believe learning to be difficult.  Muad'Dib knew that every experience carries
its lesson."
    --Frank Herbert, _Dune_

"So, the bottom line is if it [covid-19] is more infectious now, the issue is,
who cares?  If it is causing more cases in young, my word is who cares."
    --Michael Caputo, grotesquely unqualified former assistant secretary for
      public affairs, US Department of Health and Human Services

"The only conspiracy theory I believe is that all this 'food in the UK is
good, actually' backlash is really just the Brits trying to turn their surplus
of jellied eels into an export good."
    --@mountboom

"Ominous dark fluffy objects have covered the sky over Las Vegas, emitting
occasional droplets of unidentified liquid.  Old timers call it 'rain' and say
it used to happen 2-4 times per year.  Sounds like government disinformation
to me."
    --George Knapp, on rain in Las Vegas

"It's class warfare, right?  When money is power - and even ruled to be speech
itself by the Supreme Court - handing out money is very dangerous.  So, brutal
class warfare it is."
    --George Griffity, on stimulus cheques

"Adulthood is saying 'I just need to make it to the end of the week' every
week until you die."
    --Luna Sorcery

"If you ever used the bathroom at CBGBs, don't worry about what's in the Covid
vaccine."
    --Xeni Jardin

"If someone screams at you because you prefer to use different words to
describe the same concept, then they're more attached to the attention they
get from the words than the cause motivated by the concept.  Social media is
full of these authoritarian shitheads."
    --Spatula

"Metaphysics isn't some bullshit high-handed weasel word you get to throw out
to sound 'above it.'  People are fucking dying and if you want to play at
'metaphysics' then I and a host of other disabled, neurodivergent, LGBTQIA,
BIPOC, and feminist philosophers will be more than happy to give you a
detailed breakdown of the metaphysical groundings of liberatory justice."
    --Technoccult

"But none dare call it post hoc ergo propter hoc?"
    --Robert Hettinga

"I have many ways of being unhelpful, but the technobabble ones are my
favorite."
    --Tony, _Real Life Comics_

"If you build a mechanism that incentivizes crime, sooner or later you will
get crimed on."
    --Matthew Green

"Lost audio.  I fear I will miss Rudy's [Giuliani] masterful rebuttal now.
The line is just static.  The static is making a more effective argument
against the motion to dismiss."
    --Popehat

"Passwords are a mess.  Alas, the magic bullets proposed all make it worse,
so people need to be taught how to do the work to manage them better, and
people like us can't agree."
    --Kent Borg

"I've studied IPv6, and still cannot understand it; it's a horse that turned
out to become a camel."
    --Dave Horsfall

"A society where you must lie, repeatedly, to get power, where you must do
evil over and over again to get power (or even a decent living) will be shit,
and the more the virus of dishonesty and meanness spreads, the more shit it
will be."
    --Ian Welsh

"I had a choice.  I could be an insider or I could be an outsider.  Outsiders
can say whatever they want.  But people on the inside don't listen to them.
Insiders, however, get lots of access and a chance to push their ideas.
People - powerful people - listen to what they have to say.  But insiders also
understand one unbreakable rule: They don't criticize other insiders."
    --Elizabeth Warren, _A Fighting Chance_

"As societies and communities continue to defederate and decentralize in
spasms toward interlocking spheres of influence and connection, I tell myself
over and over again that I can't put my oxygen mask on if I'm surrounded by
people who want to rip it off of me because I don't deserve one."
    --Orrery

"We're stuck in the _Dark Mirror_ version of _Who Framed Roger Rabbit_."
    --Feonixrift

"Knowledge is power, but power does not necessarily confer competance."
    --"Victor"

"It's just a metaphor.  If you make it more than that, you miss the barn by
fifteen yards."
    --Derrel Sims

"A futurist should not be expected to get everything right, but they could be
judged by their batting average."
    --John Higgs

"What will be the next step in biological and social evolution?  Here are two
clues.  1) You are more likely to find evolutionary agents closer to jail than
to the professor's chair.  2) Look to that social freedom most abused, most
magically, irrationally feared by society.  Exactly that freedom which you,
the intellectual, the liberal, would most deny to others.  Good.  Now you are
getting close."
    --Timothy Leary

"Almost all right-wing support in the United States comes from a view that
Christians are under attack by secular liberals.  This point is so important
and so little understood.  Logic doesn't matter.  Fact-checking doesn't
matter.  What matters is if I can use this information to show that liberals
are evil.  Many of them are not interested in reporting the world as it is,
but rather to shape the world like they want it to be."
    --Matthew Sheffield

"2020 is like looking both ways before crossing a road and then getting hit
by a plane."
    --Anonymous

"As a longtime observer of Georgia politics, I am at a point where I can no
longer distinguish trolling from earnest madness."
    --George Chidi

"Give a man a fish and he'll be fed for a day.  Teach a man to fish and he'll
promptly forget that he once didn't know and proceed to call anyone who asks
a n00b and flame them on the boards for being stupid."
    --Anonymous

"Of course this election is coming down to Area 51."
    --Data, on Nevada counting votes in the 2020 presidential election

"Tomorrow's D&D game is probably going to end up like the Donner Party meets
_The Thing_."
    --remotenemesis

"What could go wrong with me taking off my glasses in a shop full of tools
wearing a lot of fur?"
    --Adam Savage

"I don't think being good at things is the point of doing them.  I think
you've got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all
teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well
you do them."
    --The archeologist Kurt Vonnegut hung out with when he was 15

"Still, let no one suggest a democracy contested by two men in their mid- to
late-70s is in some ways beginning to look a little necrotic.  Yes, it would
have been nice to have had at least one candidate whom no one had accused of
sexual assault - but you had to be deeply comforted that one of the candidates
had been accused of literally dozens more sexual assaults than the other one.
Of course, the 2020 US presidential election situation is still very much
developing, and by the time you read this, there could be a lot of hostages
to fortune.  Or even just hostages.  Rule nothing out.  Nothing, perhaps,
except moral optimism."
    --Marina Hyde, on the 2020 election

"Man, this is like Sasquatch: The Game!"
    --Brian Brushwood

"Back when laptops were powered by diesel."
    --Jason Murphy

"I'm just stuck on 'chop the hot dogs until they are the consistency of coarse
corn meal,' like, who has time to do that?  What is the point of it?  Do these
people not have blenders or food processors?  Why not just slice them thinly
and layer them on top of your soupcheese goop if that's the flavor combination
your dark gods demand?  So many questions."
    --Amberite, on hotdog surprise

"But no matter how this election concludes, America is now a different country.
Nearly half of the voters have seen Trump in all of his splendor - his
infantile tirades, his disastrous and lethal policies, his contempt for
democracy in all its forms - and they decided that they wanted more of it.
His voters can no longer hide behind excuses about the corruption of Hillary
Clinton or their willingness to take a chance on an unproven political novice.
They cannot feign ignorance about how Trump would rule.  They know, and they
have embraced him.  Sadly, the voters who said in 2016 that they chose Trump
because they thought he was 'just like them' turned out to be right.  Now, by
picking him again, those voters are showing that they /are/ just like him:
Angry, spoiled, racially resentful, aggrieved, and willing to die rather than
ever admit that they were wrong."
    --Tom Nichols

"FRIDAAAAAAAY!  Oh wait every day is the same now, why am I excited?"
    --Felicia Day

"Nevermind, it's like you people are fucking determined to suck today."
    --Nezumi Ningen

"Frankly, my trolls, I don't give a damn."
    --Dan Rather

"As a writer - and as a former scientist myself - it is my job to resist
feebleminded superstition and idiot fundamentalism and every hysterical bully
who ever shook a fist and mouthed the words 'Because I said so.'"
    --Peter Watts

"The more incredible the lie, the more people will believe it."
    --Bob Lazar

"You hear that?  That's the sounds of millions of buttholes suddenly
unclenching."
    --Doc Skrzyk

"Every culture spawns a subculture, ad nauseam.  In the end, we're all just a
bunch of apes making shit up as we go."
    --Neon Intubation

"So many Food Network people are like ''Oh, I'm going to braise short ribs in
elderberry jam...''  Screw that, I'm going to mainline moon pies and snort
cheese powder!  Turn off the lights and run 23 Slim Jims through the juicer."
    --Alton Brown

"I'm paid to 3D-print guns.  As to the how and the why?  It's nanomachines, I
ain't gotta explain shit."
    -da_667

"I have to learn how to fix things instead of doing it right the first time."
    --Adam Savage

"Markets are great but they make a shitty religion."
    --Nuke Skyjumper

"What's it like being opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger?  For me?  Are you
kidding?  Maybe if I'm lucky, [I'll] come up to his navel!"
    --Linda Hunt

"In Soviet Russia, if is not broke, do not fix."
    --Anonymous

"An obvious option when shrinkifying electrical circuits is to go with SMD
components.  However, I couldn't go with this option because my hands shake
like that of a Parkinsons patient strapped to an electric chair."
    --Brainy Baboon

"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all."
    --David Lynch

"There comes a time in every electronic band's life when they inevitably cover
Depeche Mode."
    --Null Device

"I always expect these things to be deeply mystical and complex, then I find
out it's a Google doc."
    --Sarah

"Extradition is stalled because John McAfee is now about 90% cocaine on a
molecular level, and bringing him to the states for trial would involve
sneaking him through customs."
    --Dr. Otto Skrzyk

"The normie tipping point is a joke, but it speaks to one of the thorniest
questions in modern journalism, specifically on this beat: When does the
benefit of informing people about an emerging piece of misinformation outweigh
the possible harms?"
    --Kevin Roose

"The main life goal of silk taffeta, whether real or artificial, is to wrinkle.
It holds onto creases with the fervency of a Marine in dress blues."
    --Arabella Flynn

"We look to math for truth, not comfort."
    --Charlie Audritsh

"And sometimes, honestly, components just suck."
    --Krazy Ken, _Why Do Computers Die?_

"Suffice it to say that your local police department regularly uses Amazon
footage to prosecute crime, and there'll be a forensics team along presently
to pick blood-spattered pages from _The Best of Brigham Young_ out of your
rhododendron."
    --David Rutland

"I am sick of people disrespecting sheep.  If you've ever dealt with a bunch
of loose sheep, you know they're cheeky and don't actually do what you want
a lot of the time.  Also: They're very sweet and care for each other in a
way humans don't seem to be willing to do."
    --AC Shilton

"Are they evil?  Are they morons?  At a certain point, it doesn't really
matter, does it?"
    --Parker Molloy

"J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs gives you permission - an excuse and a justification, even -
for anything you want to do.  ANYTHING.  Even THAT.  The outcomes and
accountability part, though, that's on you."
    --Rev. Onan Canobite

"This is a shout out to all the anti-masker Amish people, when I see you alone
at night your ass is getting your trachea busted."
    --Alraune

"You guys okay?"
"For definitions of ok that include 2020, yeah."
    --Lyssa and Teaotter

"You can't really make the case to younger people that 'capitalism,' broadly
writ, is gonna do shit for them.  I have one of these in my house, and they
simply don't buy it.  Elders called what my cadre felt toward all this
machinery apathy, but it never was: We just knew it was a lie... And they
aren't wrong on this point: If money is allowed to pool like this, devils grow
in it.  If you don't fucking govern, if you don't moat these things in a
circle of salt, they will invariably become something uncontainable -
something too big to fail."
    --Tycho

"Poverty exists not because we cannot feed the poor, but because we cannot
satisfy the rich."
    --Anonymous

"Personality of a side salad, no dressing, extra shredded carrots."
    --zpojqwfejwfhiunz

"If everything is fake, then any lie is truth."
    --Karyn S.

"You're speaking to an in group right now, your outside perspective isn't
welcomed here."
    --_conky_

"NO TL;DR: this time, I spent hours writing, you should spend minutes reading."
    --Gilles Chehade

"These are the same people saying that we can't have tuition-free public
colleges because there's no money... when these motherfuckers are only paying
$750 a year in taxes."
    --Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

"The Mandela Effect is when the same people who called you a terrorist and
supported your imprisonment applaud you as an icon of peaceful resistance
20 years later."
    --@esvrld@octodon.social

"I say if you have the skills, time and desire, give it a go and see where
you end up.  If google shows nothing, then its likely not been tried.  With
so few firsts available in life, take those that present themselves and have
a crack, even if failure is always an option."
    --VK4HAT

"Write a short story every week.  It's not possible to write 52 bad short
stories in a row."
    --Ray Bradbury

"Theory: Ancient aliens had absolutely no influence on human history, but they
do run the History Channel and try to make us think they did have influence
on human history."
    --Dee

"Corvids are technically songbirds, but like, noisecore songbirds."
    --Garbados

"It wouldn't be a microsoft product if the only solution to most bugs wasn't
'just reinstall the full game.'"
    --Dashie, on Microsoft Flight Simulator

"IT is largely a shell game for bullshit."
    --Dr. Otto Skrzyk

"Like an episode of The Twilight Zone your YAMN pinger has been frozen in time
since Mon 28 Sep 2020 23:00:14 GMT."
    --Remailer Ops Admin, broadcast message

"I work in pediatrics.  I deal with kids under 10 that behave better than our
asshole president on a daily basis and I'm poking them with sharp things."
    --War Kittens

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar.  The rabbi says, "Hey, did
you hear the one about us?"

"If you control the givens, you can win any argument."
    --Frank Herbert

"Copyright hurts everyone that isn't the Disney estate."
    --Purple Sol

"You could have easily looked at a sample ballot prior to the election, and
you could have simply looked up the candidates in a search engine.  By doing
so, you, like the good citizen in Rindge, would probably have been appalled,
and probably wouldn't have voted for me.  I wouldn't have begrudged you for
that.  I was, after all, rather upfront about it.  I went into it expecting
that I would lose the primary to a write-in candidate, because I didn't think
that so many voters were just... completely and totally oblivious about who
they are voting for.  Because the fact is that you didn't bother.  You trusted
the system.  You trusted the establishment.  You trusted the party.  You felt
safe.  You were sure that there must be some mechanisms in place to prevent
from occurring exactly what just occurred.  Your anger is misplaced if you
direct it at me.  Please listen.  Your anger is with the system that has lied
to you.  Your anger is with the system that convinced you to believe in it,
trust in it, and have faith in it, when it is completely and utterly broken."
    --Aria DiMezzo

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by
one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle."
    --Edmund Burke

"Selfishness is not one of the divisions of the social order."
    --Victor Hugo

"Liberal: A masochist who will buy and read everything a bigot publishes."
    --Mort Sol(?)

"is the internet the singularity what the fuck this was a mistake"
    --Giancarlo

"Aeon Flux could just be a weird Hackers sequel."
    --the_gibson

"Simply put, if you're in a position of power at work, you're unlikely to see
workplace harassment in front of you.  That's because harassment and bullying
are attempts to exert power over people with less of it.  People who behave
improperly don't tend to do so with people they perceive as having power
already."
    --Sarah Milstein

"The clandestine operator... is trained to believe that you really can't count
on the honesty of your agent to do exactly what you want or to report
accurately unless you own him body and soul."
    --Richard Helms

"Folks love to treat IT as morlocks, and forget that it's ducks kickboxing
C'thul'hu under the surface."
    --Bryce

"The same rule applies to farts and natural disasters: You never have to ask
if I'm responsible, because if I am, I will brag about it!"
    --Tony, _Real Life Comics_, on the California wildfires of 2020.ev

"I learn from being confronted and challenged, and I accept that I have made
some significant errors in my public life.  If someone then said I should not
be read or listened to as a result of those errors, well, I would object
internally, since I don't think any mistake a person made can, or should
summarise that person.  We live in time; we err, sometimes seriously; and if
we are lucky, we change precisely because of interactions that let us see
things differently."
    --Judith Butler

"What gang member is like, 'I better head to Kentucky because this guy is
giving Blues Traveler shit?'"
    --Forrest Rutherford

"Godspeed, you magnificent assclowns."
    --Fidgety

"Believe the autocrat.  He means what he says."
    --Masha Gessen

"Taking up tools and making something that lasts is one of the most subversive
things you can do in this disposable society that encourages - nay, requires -
rampant consumer spending."
    --Christopher M. Schwarz

"Yes, I love a night on the town when it's 34 [degrees F] and raining.  Fuck
Gene Kelly!  You motherfucker!"
    --Albert Rosenfield, _Twin Peaks_

"The areas where we were criticized were for being unrealistic, but I wasn't
trying to make a tech film.  I wanted to be accurate about what it meant to
these kids, what it felt like, the imaginative projection of the fantasy world
that this [Hackers] represented for them.  I wanted the film to reflect that."
    --Iain Softley

"Being good at something doesn't promise rewards.  It doesn't even promise a
compliment.  What's rewarded in the world is scarcity, so what matters is what
you can do that other people are bad at."
    --Morgan Housel

"I appreciate the effort, but when the data stolen by a foreign government's
espionage operation actually hits, I still fully expect LEROY JENKINS until
they [modern news outlets] show they're institutionally capable of anything
else."
    --Political Punnery

"There are periods of history when the visions of madmen and dope fiends are a
better guide to reality than the common-sense interpretation of data available
to the so-called normal mind.  This is one such period, if you haven't noticed
already."
    --Robert Anton Wison

"People asking about my red fingernail.  It's for my mom.  I wear my dad's
ring and my mom's nail polish.  It reminds me of them."
    --Penn Jillette

"Life doesn't make any sense.  It's full of these moments of great joy, and
great failure.  That's what music has been, never just a boring time."
    --Adam Warrock

"Malachite is a poisonous mineral.  Please do not fuck the malachite
stalactite."
    --brambledboneyards

"Understanding does not equal empathy."
    --Funnypanja

"Xanadu was powered by bile, inadequate vision and missed opportunities."
    --Yojimbo

"Living in a dystopia just feels like living: You get through one day, and
then you get through the next, and then the next.  You embrace mild
self-deception and self-delusion because you must.  You move forward because
what other choice do you have?"
    --Anne Helen Petersen

"Expect the mistakes because you are going to make them.  If you try and avoid
them you will fail and you will further feel like a failure because you tried
to avoid them and failed to avoid them.  Your are never going to avoid them."
    --Adam Savage

"Everybody relax.  If Bill Gates was going to kill millions of people, he
would've used Windows Vista."
    --Patrick S. Tomlinson

"Police always observe that criminals prosper.  It takes a pretty dull
policeman to miss the fact that the position of authority is the most
prosperous criminal position available."
    --God Emperor Leto II

"I hate this pandemic.  If I wanted to waste my early 20's I would've become a
military wife."
    --Elise Morgan

"US politics to an outsider is like walking in on an argument about how best
to punch babies.  People expect you to pick a side, but you just stood there
wondering why we punching babies."
    --Malwaretech

"I love how twitter ''isn't real life'' but since journalists and pundits
refuse to log off or use any other social media platform, it also becomes their
total and complete personal reality."
    --Colin Spacetwinks

"This country absolutely hates its actual history and actively buries it at
every opportunity."
    --Mountain Ghosts

"Consider how much has to go wrong in the richest nation on earth for thousands
of people to be suddenly into violent anarchy, a thing few people are excited
about when their needs are met and justice is served.  Functional countries
don't randomly have anarchist uprisings where youth with lots of educational
options, fair housing, stable employment and great healthcare just decide to
get tear gassed by police for funsies.  In functional countries rebellious
youth just smoke pot and fuck."
    --@jelenawoehr

"If 200,000 dead Americans means nothing to the people running this country,
do you really think two million dead Americans will mean any more to them?"
    --Anna Phylaxis

"I think we should amend the definition of 'Turing complete' to just mean 'any
system you can play Doom on.'"
    --Clive Thompson

"As an elder millennial, this is at least my third apocalypse.  What's in
equal parts worrying and encouraging, this time, is that we seem to have come
to peace with the fact that we live in the end times.  We had a good run.  Is
that a three-headed dragon?  Eh, I suppose so."
    --Eimi Berenike

"If your dick is falling off because I'm wearing a mask in the gym, I submit
that the problem is your dick and not my mask."
    --Dan Kaszeta

"I think a lot of people have forgotten what the word 'apocalypse' means.
We are living through one right now, and it's not 'the end' but 'the
uncovering,' the series of events that reveals what's underneath the facades
of society and personal pretenses.  Christians think of The Apocalypse as one
big ultimate thing, but in reality apocalypses happen fairly regularly, like
a pot that comes to the boil and cools down and then boils up again.  They
come before ends and beginnings, cycles of death and rebirth.  And they show
up what's really going on under the pretty lies we tell ourselves and each
other.  It's rarely pleasant.  But it's necessary.  You can't change anything
while lies are still told and believed."
    --Edgar Allan Bitch

"I don't trust people who can never criticize the people they admire.  That's
not admiration.  That's cult worship."
    --Imani Gandy

"Never drink coffee that has been anywhere near a fish."
    --Dale Cooper, _Twin Peaks_

"The trouble with Eichmann was precisely that so many were like him, and that
the many were neither perverted nor sadistic, that they were, and still are,
terribly and terrifyingnly normal.  From the viewpoint of our legal
institutions and our moral standards of judgement, this normality was much
more terrifying than all the atrocities put together."
    --Hannah Arendt

"The experience of touring gab.com is akin to having a conversation with
someone suffering from Tourette syndrome while tripping on mushrooms."
    --David Rutland

"The year 2020 IS Fortean Times."
    --Banjofox

"Check your ego at the door.  No gods, no rockstars.  ONLY n00bs."
    --the_gibson

"You own everything that happened to you.  Tell your stories.  If people wanted
you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better."
    --Anne Lamott

"Don't search for all the answers at once.  A path is formed by laying one
stone at a time."
    --The Giant, _Twin Peaks_

"For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your
life.  But for me, it was Tuesday."
    --M.Bison

"Pornhub: When You're Here, You're Step-Family."
    --Jerkin Jakovic

"π seconds is a nanocentury."
    --Tom Duff

"Whoever controls the narrative controls the world.  Understand this key point
and you'll understand why corporate media outlets are constantly smearing
Julian Assange, why they never fail to fall in line to support a US-led
military agenda, why they pay massive amounts of attention to some political
candidates while completely ignoring others, and why they put so much energy
into keeping everyone arguing over the details of how the status quo should
be maintained instead of debating whether it should exist at all... without
the ability to effectively propagandise the masses in this way, they cannot
rule."
    --Caitlin Johnstone

"People live and die in the gaps between the candidates.  This seems
especially clear now."
    --Charles Hutchins

"Monsters exist, but they are too few to be truly dangerous.  Ordinary men are
more dangerous."
    --Primo Levi

"This is how the collapse happens.  Not because the grid gives out or Boogaloo
Bois storm in and take over the substation, but because it's just too damn hot
to run civilization."
    --Dillo

"Your desire that products work well is snobbish."
    --Less Sock, More Puppet

"Entitled people aren't actually skeptical: They have already decided that
you're wrong and want to hang you with your own words to prove your wrongness."
    --Soatok

"Nobody thinks he knows more than someone who knows nothing."
    --Gina Spadafori

"We didn't call it fuzzing back in the 1950s, but it was our standard
practice to test programs by inputting decks of punch cards taken from
the trash.  We also used decks of random number punch cards.  We weren't
networked in those days, so we weren't much worried about security, but
our random/trash decks often turned up undesirable behavior."
    --Gerald M. Weinberg

"At long last, I deem this stable AND working (which appear to be almost
mutually exclusive)."
    --Cyclic3

"No one ever talks about extermination, they just do it.  And you go on with
your lives, ignoring the signs all around you.  And then one day, when the
air is still and the night has fallen, they come for you."
    --Magneto

"Two and two do not always equal four."
    --Gordon Cole, _Twin Peaks_

"My life has been so much better ever since I traded my impostor syndrome to
brilliant conman syndrome.  Do I deserve anything in life?  Fuck no!  Will I
grasp it anyway?  Fuck yes!"
    --haaskarotta

"I hate having emotions about reality; I'd much rather have them about
_Sanctuary Moon_."
    --Murderbot, _All Systems Red_

"Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of
critical thinking.  They're not interested in that... that doesn't help them.
That's against their interests.  They don't want people who are smart enough
to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly they are getting
fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin' years ago.  They don't
want that.  You know what they want? They want obedient workers, ''obedient
workers''.  People who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the
paperwork and just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly
shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits,
the end of overtime and the vanishing pension that disappears the minute you
go to collect it."
    --George Carlin

"I won't let anything Jesusy come in contact with my wangulus."
    --Derek Pegritz

"Harvard is an investment bank pretending to be a school."
    --Bret Devereaux

Goodhart's Law: When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good
measure.

"We design the Internet for the pessimal environment; if a user can be harmed,
they probably will be, somewhere."
    --RFC 8890

The last resort of the innocent is always publicity.

"There is nothing to achieve right now except to insist that the only
achievement is caring for others, and not caring specially for family or
friends, but in caring for every person as our family or friend."
    --Sarah Miller

"You can run software from 1980 or 2005 on a modern desktop without too much
hassle, but anything between there and 2-3 years ago?  Black hole of fad
frameworks and brittle dependencies.  Computer Archaeology is going to become
a full-time job."
    --Flussence

"Let children read whatever they want and then talk about it with them.  If
parents and kids can talk together, we won't have as much censorship because
we won't have as much fear."
    --Judy Blume

"Saying someone 'helped out' by not charging predatory prices sounds like
Stockholm Syndrome to me."
    --Daniel Moch

"emacs is the 10-in-1 NeoGeo arcade game cabinets that have 3 King of Fighters
games, a Metal Slug game..."
    --Seven Rose

"Vim is Notepad but with Street Fighter controls."
    --Shrig

"The purpose of a good debate is learning, not winning.  Ideally, all parties
will learn something and gain perspective from hearing the others' points.
In this way, everyone wins, whatever the final decision (or lack thereof)."
    --Terrana Ninetailed

"You can't prove I'm just a living numbers station."
    --Goat

"The spread of computers and the Internet will put jobs in two categories:
People who tell computers what to do, and people who are told by computers
what to do."
    --Marc Andreessen

"You must understand nothing can happen in real life that will change the
minds of Trump's base.  He uses the words they learned from Rush and Fox for
years.  He believes the same conspiracy theories that got them banned from
Thanksgiving.  No one has EVER validated them like this."
    --Cat Valente

"I'm European.  We regard the US as somewhat lost to a cult at this point."
    --Richard Cantwell

"Internet security tip: Don't use 'beefstew' as a password.  It's not
stroganoff."
    --FIFO Networks

"If, as capitalists insist, greed and selfishness are the human condition,
then there can be no cooperation, no democracy, no utopia - only a permanent,
rugged battle for survival.  In a completely transaction based community,
you're either the cheater or the cheated."
    --Lyta Gold

"I just saw an advertisement for a bunch of bagel toppings.  It was a schmear
campaign."
    --Dr. Otto Skrzyk

"Here you are in a world full of chemical indulgences that can grind your ego
to sand, dial your empathy to 11 and fill you with visceral, bottomless bliss
and a sense of immediate and universal oneness with every other sentient
entity in the vast cosmos and your go-to move is 'this made me really give a
shit about turning calories into Javascript.  I created content for 14 hours
straight.'"
    --mhoye

"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons,"
    --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The problem with this whole Epic/Apple/Google debacle is I'm having trouble
telling which multi-billion-dollar corporation truly has the best interests
of me, the consumer, at heart."
    --Mike, First of His Name

"Listen to Sex Pistols and at a certain point you'll realise it's not about
them talking about the world, it's about how they relate to the world at their
level.  That's important.  Their anthem isn't ''let's save the world, we're
all friends,'' it's ''you got in my face motherfucker'' followed by a
headbutt."
    --Mike Pondsmith

"Americans are, of course, the most thoroughly and passively indoctrinated
people on Earth.  They know next to nothing as a rule about their own history,
or the histories of other nations, or the histories of the various social
movements that have risen and fallen in the past, and they certainly know
little or nothing of the complexities and contradictions comprised within
words like 'socialism' and 'capitalism.'  Chiefly, what they have been trained
not to know or even suspect is that, in many ways, they enjoy far fewer
freedoms, and suffer under a more intrusive centralized state, than do the
citizens of countries with more vigorous social-democratic institutions."
    --David Bentley Hart

"The world we live in is too complicated for this shit."
    --Charles Stross

"When you've nothing to lose, fear and social norms are irrelevant."
    --SC Price 5

"You're imaging a Cool Cyberpunk Future, I'm describing an Actual Cyberpunk
Present."
    --Kevin Halse

"Liberals and conservatives are basically Catholics vs Protestants: Two
factions within the same group that think they're totally different, but look
identical to anyone on the outside."
    --Amy Dentata

"What if corruption kink that was really just giving wayward youths a look at
what feeling emotionally healthy and well-cared for and understood and
accepted is like?  It only looks like they're going totally evil and demonic
by the standards of a system that is deeply dysfunctional and harmful to
everyone in it."
    --Kit Redgrave

"I have a quantum computer that literally lets me see ANYTHING I WANT in the
past, present and future!  You honestly think I wouldn't use something like
that to keep tabs on my friends?"
    --Tony, _Real Life Comics_

"If you don't want to MacGyver something, why the heck are you on Hackaday?"
    --Barefoot, in the comments

"I think it was a grand success to realize that big, dorky geek computers were
going to become incredibly fashionable."
    --Bruce Sterling

"As soon as you realize that [something] is a problem, you should fix it.
Don't be a dumbass."
    --Dolly Parton

"Squeak that toy like it's 2020!"
    --Dr. Otto Skrzyk

"I was once a man with a master plan.  I'd seek out injustices, topple
governments, all in the name of the greater good.  I'd started doing the
maths, you see... This is how evil starts, with the belief that the ends
justify the means.  But once you start down that road, there's no turning
back.  What if you can save a million lives, but you have to let ten people
die, or a hundred, or a hundred thousand.  Where do you stop?"
    --The Doctor, _Doctor Who: The Resurrection of Mars_

"Our work is to keep people alive.  We can't tell them how to live any more
than how to die."
    --Dr. Leonard Gillespie, _Doctor Kildare_, s01e03, _Shining Image_

"We're all noobs in the right room.  Put on the white belt."
    --Requiem

"Never make the mistake in believing in the individual or collective
rationality of humankind.  You cannot tell me that any feature of our utterly
convoluted society is in any way rational.  We exist, constantly poised to
annihilate all human life from this planet for political reasons, and that's
just everyday common sense to most people.  Mundane, or even a nessesary evil,
to most.  Science, ironically, tells us that we are not at all rational or
logical creatures."
    --Starwall

"The Internet treats nuance as damage and routes around it."
    --Duncan

"The police are making more anarchists than I could do in ten years."
    --Emma Goldman

"It is disturbing to me that 'the future is decent' ship has sailed as an
explicit reboot goal."
    --Feonixrift, on _Star Trek_

"Look at that object.  It pleases me."
    --Adam Savage

"War is just a racket.  A racket is best described, I believe, as something
that is not what it seems to the majority of people.  Only a small inside
group knows what it is about.  It is conducted for the benefit of the very
few at the expense of the masses."
    --Smedley Butler, USMC

" I don't think we've exhausted all the options involving fire yet."
    --remotenemesis

"'Load bearing COBOL' is my new favorite phrase."
    --c0debabe

"China, I demand you send my data to the FBI and NSA, you authoritarian
monsters!"
    --Doctor Flappy

"If your god is upset about something I said, he can tell me himself in
person.  I will not accept the scolding of middlemen or the entreaties of
self-appointed envoys."
    --Stonekettle

"For every scheming Edison there are a hundred Teslas."
    --Shufei

"I am, and ever will be, a white socks, pocket protector, nerdy engineer."
    --Neil Armstrong

"Fuckin' 'ell!"
    --Yaxi, Sex Gang Children

"The secret to life is to be able to perpetually exist in a quantum
superposition of caring deeply and not giving a fuck."
    --Eric Lombrozo

"Number theory - of course it's a cult.  Has been since Pythagoras."
    --Feonixrift

"We no longer live in a pre-pandemic society, and just as we cannot expect the
same quality of life under pandemic conditions, we also can't expect the same
productivity."
    --Elle Armageddon

"We do weird RIGHT."
    --Maelynn, _Real Life Comics_

"There is no misfortune so great that somebody else can't put up with it."
    --Anton LeVay

Withdrawing in disgust is not the same as apathy.

"LSD is a psychedelic drug which occasionally causes psychotic behavior in
people who have not taken it."
    --Timothy Leary

"I'd rather be dangerous than helpless."
    --Whitley Streiber

"If 2,000 instances all independently decided you're an ass, maybe you're
just an ass."
    --Tek

"Achievement unlocked: Very online."
    --Remote Nemesis

"Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being
charming.  This is a fault.  Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful
things are the cultivated.  For these there is hope."
    --Oscar Wilde, _The Picture of Dorian Gray_

"I'd have to owe as much to Ronald Reagan as to Bill Gates or Lou Reed.
Reagan's presidency put the grit in my dystopia.  His presidency was the
fresh kitty litter I spread for utterly crucial traction on the icy driveway
of uncharted futurity.  His smile was the nightmare in my back pocket."
    --William Gibson

"Ya' gotta face the pain, Jake.  There's no easy way out."
    --Sid Gomez, _Tekwar_

"2020: The year a dystopian disaster novel got down and dirty on a porn movie.
We're so far past 'satire is dead' at this point that we're approaching
surrealism as the new normal."
    --Charles Stross

"Let's face it, I have to go with cyberpunk over post-apocalypse, because I
just don't got the fetish gear to socially function in the Mad Max universe."
    --Kyrin

"You do not, not ever, shame someone for how they fill their shelves.  Those
cereals are enriched, and those drinks have vitamin C added, and yes, there's
probably frozen pizza and rice-a-roni in that house, too, but those are FOOD.
And food is non-negotiable."
    --cybre!pamela

"When people are like ''They gon' microchip me to talk to the satellites,''
I'm like, my man: Can you imagine how much people would pay for an unlimited
plan phone you never have to charge?  And you think they're just gonna put it
in you for free?  You don't even have insurance."
    --Edward Snowden

"After testifying before Congress on behalf of immigrant workers, he [Stephen
Colbert] was asked why he would do that, and stammered before quoting Matthew
('the least of my brothers' usw.)  I suspect because it had never occurred
to him that anyone would ever not know the reason behind defending other
human beings."
    --Arabella Flynn

"It's not too late.  There's a future worth fighting for.  How do I know?
Every one of us comes from a long line of survivors.  Our species is nothing
if not adaptive.  It was only because our ancestors learned to think long
term, and act accordingly, that we're here at all.  We've had our backs to
the wall before, and we came through to scale new heights.  In fact, the
most mythic human accomplishments of all time came out of our darkest hour."
    --Neil deGrasse Tyson

"I would have no problem reading _The King In Yellow_.  After what y'all post
into my eyeballs that play can't do shit."
    --@cuttlefish@goblin.camp

"You will likely never be a celebrity, nor will you be rich, and if you do
you do at the whims of the owning class."
    --Kit Redgrave

"I would be nervous all the time too if the only thing beneath me on the food
chain was grass."
    --Howel Casper

"Happiness can be found in one word.  Denial."
    --Richard Fish, _Ally McBeal_

"Apparently Gondor called for aid, and another chainsaw answered?  There are
now two in a growling, buzzing, burring duet.  I don't hear any more
expostulations, though."
    --Lili Saintcrow

"I did the dumb thing again where I mentioned pocket holes to a bunch of
Master Carpenters (according to them).  Gonna close the curtains and wait
out the contract hit."
    --Rustic Cyberpunk

"My days of seeing Maven-driven Java development as complete horseshit are
coming to a middle."
    --Random Geek

"That's science.  Do not at me.  I do not care."
    --Lizstar

"We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus!  That alone should make us
love each other but it doesn't.  We are terrorized and flattened by
trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing."
    --Charles Bukowski

"I always feel the same when I have a hot and relevant take.  Like, I could
dish it up steaming, but also, fuck an information economy that only has
time for hot takes."
    --@MoMartin@playvicious.social

"Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be
in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom
the law binds but does not protect."
    --Frank Wilhoit

"The world is not unusually chaotic right now; the insulation that some of us
had from the chaos has simply eroded away."
    --Max Kaehn

"Java feels like if the sunk cost fallacy was a programming language."
    --@randomgeek@hackers.town

"Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious
feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed
in crime, perversion, and insanity."
    --HP Lovecraft

"Non-violence is a luxury not available to all those who oppose fascism."
    --Vince Clark

"I ate kale leaves with my own tears as dressing."
    --Joel Kinnaman, on the calorie-restricted diet he was on for
      _Altered Carbon_

"Everybody watches it, but no one really likes it.  This is the open secret
of TV today.  Its only champions are its own executives, the advertisers who
exploit it, and a compromised network of academic boosters.  Otherwise, TV
has no spontaneous defenders, because there is almost nothing in it to defend."
    --Mark Crispin Miller

"When you see a cluster, look closer, for you have spied a cluster fuck."
    --Sarah Pottraz

"In their minds they [people] can only see any attempts to change it [the
system] as just changing who gets to be on top, rather than considering it
may be possible to have a more equitable system that is fairer to everyone."
    --Shawn Dritz

"Do we need to load this with thermite?"
    --Jason Murphy

"Look it up before you say something stupid in the comments."
    --Sage advice from Jonny Lee Miller

"Stay alive long enough, and there's nowhere you can go that isn't haunted.
All of us have ghosts.  They cling to us like shadows.  But if you chase
after shadows, if you're foolish enough to seek out your ghosts, you might
just become one."
    --Takeshi Kovacs, _Altered Carbon_

"If you took Afrika Bambaataa and mixed it with Gary Numan, I'd say that's
probably the closest thing you're going to get to what we ended up being."
    --Paul Robb, on the formative influences of InSoc

"Cyberpunk was a warning, not an aspiration."
    --Mike Pondsmith

"It is a profound and necessary truth that the deep things in science are not
found because they are useful.  They are found because it was possible to
find them."
    --Robert Oppenheimer

"A people that elect corrupt politicians, impostors, thieves and traitors are
not victims, but accomplices."
    -George Orwell

The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who could not make a decision.

"THE FUCKING SUIT DOESN'T WORK!"
    --Peter Weller, on the first fitting of the Robocop suit to the producer

"If you can't fuck it and it doesn't dance, eat it or throw it away."
    --Neal Gaiman

"I'm fascinated by the examples of anti-cyborg bias in this API."
    -Feonixrift

"If our writings, our stories, myths and views (the Bible, the Torah, and
other books revered by 99% of our world, our philosophical books, and even
our favorite stories like _Hero With A Thousand Faces_, _Dune_, and _Lord of
the Rings_) are correct, then we must pursue the 'illogical' (metaphysical,
metaphorical) right way that our wars, sciences, and leaders may not even be
aware of.  We must garner all of the above from our spiritual/psychological
insights and our tenacity to not let go of what we know.  To be true to
the personal myth: That our lot in life is greater than or other than 'us',
'me', or 'I'."
    --Derrel Sims

"There are two hobbies: 3D printing, and 3D printers."
    --Norbert

"To live outside the law, you must be honest."
    --Bob Dylan

"Too many Nazis, not enough tentacle monsters!"
    --Charles Stross

"Fiat money, if you like, is backed by men with guns."
    --Paul Krugman

"There is no capital markets valuation of the space frontier."
    --Neil deGrasse Tyson

"You know, after a dick punch that's just sort of gratuitous."
    --Bryce

"The amount of eccentricity in a society has generally been proportional to
the amount of genius, mental vigour, and moral courage which it contained."
    --John Stuart Mill

"Military grade generally means ''the cheapest shit we can legally sell to
people who can't complain because they're temporarily not legally people.''"
    --Baloo Uriza

"All human unhappiness comes from not knowing how to stay quietly in a room."
    --Blaise Pascal

"I used to find it odd that these hypothetical AIs were supposed to be smart
enough to solve problems that no human could, yet they were incapable of doing
something most every adult has done: Taking a step back and asking whether
their current course of action is really a good idea.  Then I realized that
we are already surrounded by machines that demonstrate a complete lack of
insight, we just call them corporations."
    --Ted Chiang
      (I think he's still giving humans too much credit.)

"I think the reason I like Andrew Eldritch so much is because it's like
Hunter S. Thompson had a goth band."
    --the_gibson

"It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind
of sumbitch or another."
    --Malcolm Reynolds, _Firefly_

"None of us still blogging do it for clicks.  We do it to leave our traces,
because it feels good to us, and because complete statements are better than
tweets or facebook updates."
    --Warren Ellis

"Ok, now you're gay, so you need to be /very serious/ about it."
    --Yuval Noah Harari, on queer theory

"It seems I have removed something different than I thought I was removing!"
    --Adam Savage

"Always take sides.  Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim.
Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."
    --Elie Wiesel

"My body is a Wonderland -- a chaotic fever dream where everything is too big
or too small, the laws of nature and logic apply tenuously at best, and the
ham sandwiches are always gone."
    --@palecur

"But I do think we're in a unique clusterfuck here in the 21st [century].
When I was born, in 1952, there were approximately 2.5 billion people in the
world.  Now there are almost 8 billion, and maybe a quarter of them have
access to this means of global communication.  That's a social singularity.
That's a radical decentering of the possibility of any consensual sense of the
world and of the possibility of predicting what kind of politics and social
habits might emerge.  Probably just more confusion."
    --RU.Sirius

"The one thing a government is supposed to be good at is protecting those who
it considers citizens.  But in the last three months we've seen who America
considers citizens: Corporations, billionaires, police, and politicians.
They got us all to hide in our homes, for the very real reason of pandemic,
but they couldn't resist looting the world while no one could stop them.  Now
they're telling us to return to work, and if you step out of line, the boys
in blue will kneel on your neck."
    --Max Anton Brewer

"If you dislike the religious right, wait till you meet the post-religious
right."
    --Ross Douthat

"If it is for the public good, Don't wait for permission."
    --Bruce Schneier

"San Francisco makes the Golden Gate Bridge emanate the internal soundtrack of
the Silicon Valley lifestyle: An unceasing otherworldly howling, disturbing
the landscape for miles and miles."
    --n-gate.com

"Scenes of outright pandemonium unfold daily.  Anyone claiming to have a
precise understanding of what is happening, and what the likely risks and
consequences may be, should be regarded with the utmost skepticism.  We are
all living in a techno-dystopian fantasy, the internet-connected portals we
rely on rendering the world in all its granular detail and absurdity like
Borges's Aleph."
    --Thomas Chatteron Williams

"I maintain, you are apparently a Madman with an Advanced Telephony Box."
    --Hasufin

"Conspiracy theories allow their proponents to flatter themselves into
thinking base prejudices are but marks of intellectual sophistication."
    --Adam Serwer

"Every time I bet on weakness, corruption, and fallibility, I want to lose.
But I always win."
    --Clinton Stark, _The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao_

"As anyone who has gone through the DARE program will attest, the more you
(and your friends) do something 'bad' and come out of it unscathed, the more
you view anyone who claims to be an authority as being completely full of
shit.  Whether they are or not."
    --Arabella Flynn

"The Internet would have you believe that there are folks who love to break
shit in times like this.  I ask: Do you think these communities love to
protest?  Do you think these neighbours live for the moment when they have
to wake up and shout the names of the dead at uncaring police?"
    --Brandon O'Brien

"This year is turning out like the introduction to Akira."
    --Cantinto

"Modern war is a cyborg orgy."
    --Donna Haraway

"I'm watching a MUFON tv documentary while I work.  It's really hard to take
seriously, not because of the subject matter, but because their warehouse
establishing shot is basically exactly like the one BRAZZERS uses."
    --NOCARRIER

"It's Sunday afternoon, the whole week has been an appalling trashfire, and
by Friday I was about ready to quit and move to a cave except of course that
we're not allowed to travel to second homes.  Can you believe that this is
what it has come to?  That I'm not allowed to go and live in a cave?
Dystopian bullshit.  Bring me my cave of burning trash. "
    --Warren Ellis

"NPM isn't so much a package repository as it is installable StackOverflow
answers."
    --Ieure

"Take the red pill - it's filled with marinara."
    --Jackdaw Ruiz

"If we deregulated the races again (not even to group B standards) we would
live in Wipeout 2097 already."
    --Cantinto

"27 minutes was more than enough time for me to do something stupid."
    --Murderbot, _Exit Strategy_

"If hopelessness is what you see it's what you'll get
Believe in today because the fight isn't over yet
Our sons and our daughters will live if we never say die
Shame when the ones who have wings don't use them to fly"
    --Death Angel, _Word to the Wise_

"Brain engagement.  That's what I consider fun.  Learning and researching.
Not what someone else considers fun.  If ppl are going to ask questions then
they should accept the answer."
    --@pdxwildflowers

"What does virtue signaling even mean?  Putting people before profit?  Trying
to act as if people matter?  Being a decent person?  Calling people out when
they hurt others?  Pointing out corruption?  Standing up for human rights?"
    --Griz

"None of you can backstab each other, because you all need to pay rent."
    --Cody Pondsmith, running Cyberpunk RED

"The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue
the illusion.  At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to
maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the
curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will
see the brick wall at the back of the theater."
    --Frank Zappa

"Nature is not obliged to obey our speculations."
    --Carl Sagan

"Things went wrong.  No one died.  Let's move on."
    --Vampire Step-Dad

"These aren't 'how to' videos, these are more like 'what the hell happened'
videos."
    --Adam Savage

"Cats are man's adorable little serial killers."
    --The Oatmeal

"Government is the entertainment division of the military-industrial complex."
    --Frank Zappa

"I like to think of myself as a fusion of Diogenes and Steve Urkle."
    --Somarasu

"Seeing as how computers were designed to transform states, they do an abysmal
job of dealing with state."
    --Theruran

"For fuck's sake."
    --Murderbot, _Rogue Protocol_

"Opinions are like genitals.  Everyone has a right to them, and they're
important to the owner, but they shouldn't be rubbed in strangers' faces."
    --Perifractic

"Reality is on vacation, death is standing in."
    --Feonixrift

A horse walks into a bar.  The bartender says, "Why the long face?"  The
horse says, "As an anthropomorphic horse, I fit in neither with humans nor
my own kind, and have thus lived a life of loneliness."

"So far, so donuts."
    --Arcus

"Man is a rational animal.  He can think up a reason for anything he wants
to believe."
    --Anatole France

"Please move slower and break fewer things.  Thank you."
    --lucas-tl

"Attention seeking behavior in children is called a disorder and attention
seeking behavior in adults is called social media."
    --@swiftonsecurity

"Remember, when people on the Internet have an opinion about something, it
has more to do with their own psychological hangups than it does with reality."
    --Max Anton Brewer

"The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster
than society gathers wisdom."
    --Isaac Asimov

"A third arm would be a very useful model making tool."
    --Adam Savage

"I am a firm believer in doing it once, and letting future civilizations wonder
at it."
    --Hasufin

"After inhaling all of Downton Abbey in five days, I came to the conclusion
that it is propaganda designed to humanize the very wealthy, so they don't
end up like the Romanovs."
    --Cintra Wilson

"Instant gratification takes too long."
    --Carrie Fisher

"It is remarkable just how ordinary it feels to watch society fall apart, as
a person with cPTSD.  Everyone else looks so startled and surprised, and a
voice in my brain keeps going ''But this is how things have always been.  This
is the way of the world, didn't you know?''"
    --@quatoria

"Consent is not a transitive property."
    --Munin

"I try not to use too much supplementation any more, as it mostly just makes
for expensive urine, but sometimes I just have to take the little I get from
it as insurance and the little lift."
    --Warren Ellis, on vitamins

Two fucks diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one not given.

"A less transcendent property of Python 2.7.18 is that it is the last Python
2.7 release and therefore the last Python 2 release.  It's time for the
CPython community to say a fond but firm farewell to Python 2.  Users still
on Python 2 can use e to compute the instantaneously compounding interest on
their technical debt."
    --Benjamin Peterson

"osquery is twelve shades of 'wat'."
    --Sungo

"You are the Diet Coke of evil."
    --Rhian

"2/3 of his wives have been immigrants, so shutting down the borders is
Trump's version of deleting Tinder."
    --Trevor Noah

"Powerful people will perform meaningless gestures toward you, not
meaningfully help."
    --Unknown

"You would think only a complete and total dork would drop a link to a
hardware widget into the middle of a discussion about masturbatory filming
and technique... and you would be right."
    --Dillo

"Kids have not yet developed complex self-bullshitting mechanisms like the
rest of us."
    --Max Anton Brewer

"Bold of you to assume that the string is massless and infinitely flexible."
    --Diodelass

"The problem isn't whether or not, as I find myself being asked lately ''we
have a future,'' but that we do, absolutely, have a future."
    --William Gibson

"All things make more sense when one realizes that there is at least one
perspective that is not one's own."
    --Aristotle Tzafalias

"Preppers think people laugh at them for being prepared, but that's not the
case at all.  People scorn them for their obviously self-centered attitude.
Real apocalypse survival is keeping the school lunch system going."
    --0xabad1dea

"Whoever coined ''You can't get toothpaste back into the tube'' has never met
a broke painter, like I can, have and will get most substances back in tubes
if you give me like five minutes."
    --unknownBinaries

"And now... it won't boot.  It won't boot off the LIVECD.  HOW DID I BREAK
A LIVECD?"  
    --@foone

"The good institutions just don't exist yet.  Capital is recalcitrant,
entrenched, and time preferences far too short.  The knowledge economy
workforce is aimless and medicated.  The state is dysfunctional.  'Labor'
doesn't even really exist."
    --Isaac Wilks

"Riding the photon gun, like some kind of Cathode Ray cowboy."
    --Remote Nemesis

"Most mathematicians are not writing for people.  They're writing for God the
Mathematician.  And they're hoping God will give them a pat on the back and
say ''Yes, that's exactly how I think about it.''"
    --John Baez

"Weirdness is born out of specificity."
    --Russ Sharek

"We have a very ancient saying: The more god, the more devil; the more flesh,
the more worms; the more anxiety, the more control; the more control, the more
that needs control."
    --Halmyrach Abbod, _The Priests of Psi_

"There's always time to color a dinosaur."
    --Arcus

"Get more out of life: See a fucked up movie."
    --John Waters

"The key to every successful hustle is that the con artist can have no shame."
    --Stonekettle

"Social contact is a fundamental human need in a way that TPS reports are
decidedly not.  Any plan that 'allows' people to spend 40+ hours a week at
work while forbidding them to spend Sunday dinner with their parents or having
a beer with the neighbors is mainly going to result in a 4000% rise in people
ordering torches and pitchforks from Amazon."
    --Arabella Flynn

"Baby Vicks has lavender, etc.  No, it does not contain any actual baby."
    --Sarah

"I need privacy.  Not because my actions are questionable, but because your
judgement and intentions are."
    --Anonymous

"And in strange eons, even COBOL may die."
    --Ryan Wolf

"Please tell me you're microwaving that."
"...I could."
"Nevermind.  I'm not even watching you eat."
    --Lyssa and Bryce, on Bryce liking some cold food

"For sure, it was ad-libbed.  Nobody's ever written a nipple rub into any
movie."
    --Matthew Lillard

"Payment Status Not Available is just so wild.  The IRS will find you if you
live in Mordor, but if you try to get your stimulus check they've suddenly
never heard of you."
    --Claire James Carroll

"You know, reading Nick Harkaway's GNOMON: If you'd been anywhere near my
bedroom at night, you would have heard the occasional involuntary whispered
mutter of 'Fuck you, Nick' when I got to a good bit that I wish I'd written.
I am three 'Fuck you, Bill's into AGENCY."
    --Warren Ellis

"No man will ever choose lavender.  Even Prince went full-on purple!"
    --Alton Brown

"It's good to put a naked flame on your butt splice."
    --Perifractic

"The world will end for those who deserve it."
    --Rev. Ivan Stang

"It's a nickname, not a prophecy."
    --Adam Savage

"My new opinion is that bioinformatics was created to get me to stop
complaining about the size of LLVM build trees."
    --Whitequark

"The wonderful thing about paying my mental health care providers all this
money is the clean bill of health.  Gaslighting don't work when you've already
lost your mind and the pros sew it back on."
    --Xeni Jardin

"No matter how fancy your passport is, don't think that it can't change
overnight.  Don't think you can't end up on a rubber boat like these Syrians,
caught between two countries that want you dead."
    --Molly Crabapple

"I'm 'old enough to remember when cypherpunks dreamed about usable worldwide
electronic cash, and not the speculation price of USD/BTC' years old."
    --Matthew Green

"My cookie intake has gone up directly in proportion my sanity going down."
    --The Midnight

"[Kids] don't remember what you try to teach them.  They remember what you
are."
    --Jim Henson

"I always knew we'd end up living our final years in the ruins after the
collapse of civilization.  I just didn't think I'd have to face the
apocalyptic wasteland without chocolate Pop Tarts."
    --Stonekettle

"Hey guys, call me crazy but just hear me out: It's beginning to look like it
may have been a mistake to put a spite-fueled sadist in charge of our nation's
well-being."
    --Jeff Tiedrich

"I don't know how Republicans got from Terry Schiavo to 'Fuck you, no
ventilators for your whole state unless you kiss my ass,' but they did it."
    --David Waldman

"Everyone has a plan until they're punched in the mouth."
    --Mike Tyson

"I was raised to let my accomplishments speak for themselves, and in healthy
organizing environments you don't have to lead with your resume to head off
people gearing up to tell you your lived experience doesn't count or matter."
    --Gwen Snyder

"Protect your weirdos, because you're always next."
    --hystericEmpress

"As I'm sure you've seen, the coronoavirus has forced a number of late night
hosts to record shows from their houses, and we're no different.  As my home
is, and this is true, a blank white void full of sad facts.  Where else did
you think I lived?"
    --John Oliver

"It's okay to recognize that other people have it worse than you do and also
feel angry/sad/hurt/frustrated about your current situation.  We're not
crowdsourcing an Omelas singularity here.  Your own life and emotions have
value.  Just try to be kind and help others meet their needs."
    --KB Spangler

"Amazing at how schools and work places suddenly are open to accessibility
practices now that 'normal' people are asking for them, and not just the
disabled."
    --Milly

"Trying out this coffee app called Grindr.  Dunno why they're asking so many
questions about my sexual orientation but I'm open minded."
    --@red@awoo.church

"Of course you're weird!  You're a Crystal Gem!"
    --Bismuth, _Steven Universe Future_

"Blockchains are like grappling hooks, in that it's extremely cool when you
encounter a problem for which they're the right solution, but it happens way
too rarely in real life."
    --xkcd

"`dd` is the command line equivalent of stabbing the table between your
fingers with a knife."
    --Nova

"If suddenly people are out of work due to a recession, they are going to vote
against the incumbent, or at least, not bother to vote."
    --Robert Graham

"I shouldn't be doing this thing so late at night but night time is the right
time."
    --m4iler

"Buzz, what are you doing to protect yourself from the coronavirus?"
"Lying on my ass and locking the door."
    --Eric Berger and Buzz Aldrin, on covid-19

"Military men are dumb, stupid animals to be used as pawns for foreign policy."
    --Henry Kissinger

"Broad-scale emergencies never fail to reveal the fault lines in the American
class system, and it was suddenly clear that well-off New Yorkers were going
to go about the business of combating the coronavirus differently, with more
than fortitude and Purell, because they had a powerful inoculant: Secondary
real estate."
    --Ginia Bellafante

"If consequences dictate my course of action, it doesn't matter what's right,
it's only wrong if you get caught."
    --M.J. Keenan

"You can lower your risks, you can manage your risks, but you can't live a
risk-free life."
    --Roger Lancaster

"Advocacy for brutality against The Other will absolutely not be confined
to The Other approximately five minutes after the first guillotine enters
operation."
    --Paul Echeverri

"AI trained only with modern data or self-play can still be bamboozled by old
data."
    --Perifractic's Law

"The universe is empty and lonely and ultimately meaningless.  There is nothing
more punk rock than to say 'fuck that' and be happy and compassionate."
    --@laser@skull.website

"That single victory and the synchronized withdrawals and endorsements by Pete
Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar created a new narrative.  Seemingly overnight,
Biden had become a scrappy fighter with a never-say-die attitude, a Clintonian
Comeback Kid.  This drove many older Democratic voters - an inherently
timorous group conditioned by decades of _The West Wing_ and MSNBC to believe
they're consultants and strategists rather than citizens and constituents -
toward the more familiar, pedigreed candidate.  They simply did not care that
Biden has been wrong, often aggressively and outspokenly so, on every
significant issue for the last forty years."
    --Jacob Bacharach

"I'm at the 'Is my heartburn really the Andromeda Strain?' phase of
hypochondria."
    --Rhian

"Most of the time me and the other firmware folks were chasing Elon's [Musk]
whims about what to do with firmware.  Where I should have been fixing
critical issues in the system I was pulled off to do shit like add farting
unicorns."
    --Anonymous ex-Tesla software engineer, post-NDA

"When the chips are down, that is when you must look around and say: 'Yes,
there are things worth fighting for.  And even if we lose, we will have not
gone meekly before the maws of monsters.'"
    --Shifei

"The cult of the red bollard."
    --the_gibson

"War is the health of the state."
    --Randolph Bourne

"A disciple is an asshole looking for a human being to attach itself to."
    --Robert Anton Wilson

"One learns from books and example only that certain things can be done.
Actual learning requires that you do those things."
    --Frank Herbert, _Children of Dune_

"In America, about the only social safety net is the one you make yourself.
The few people who live near you, the few people who know you online, etc."
    --Pookleblinky

"Conspiracies make stupid people feel smart."
    --Dennis Detwiller

"There are ethical and moral land mines everywhere in security.  Nothing is as
easy as it should be.  Help people stay safe?  Some of those people who save
themselves are bad people."
    --@thegrugq

"People want to lead peaceful lives.  The terrorists are short-sighted, and
this is one of the causes of rampant suicide bombings.  We cannot solve this
problem only through prayers... humans have created this problem, and now we
are asking God to solve it.  It is illogical.  God would say, solve it
yourself because you created it in the first place."
    --The Dalai Lama

"When in doubt, _Dune_."
    --Sarah Pottraz

Bees with honey in their mouths have stings on their tails.

"No eye of the tiger BS if you ain't got tendons left."
    --@sng

"Crashing fifteen hundred systems in one day in the streets hapless
techno-weenie in the sheets."
    --@cat

"Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank.  Give a man a bank and he can rob the
world."
    --Jim Trotter?

"Be nice to people.  You never know what's going on.  Ever."
    --Caroline Flack

"As always, the answer is in the negative space."
    --The_Gibson

"Any custom developed authentication system contains an ad hoc,
informally-specified, bug-ridden, slow implementation of half of Kerberos."
    --Jan Schaumann

"Auferre, trucidare, rapere, falsis nominibus imperium; atque, ubi solitudinem
faciunt, pacem appellant." (To ravage, to slaughter, to usurp under false
titles, they call empire; and where they make a desert, they call it peace.)
    --Tacitus

"To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they
used to be.  The people they're too exhausted to be any longer.  The people
they don't recognize inside themselves anymore.  The people they grew out of,
the people they never ended up growing into.  We so badly want the people we
love to get their spark back when it burns out; to become speedily found when
they are lost.  But it is not our job to hold anyone accountable to the people
they used to be.  It is our job to travel with them between each version and
to honour what emerges along the way.  Sometimes it will be an even more
luminiescent flame.  Sometimes it will be a flicker that disappears and
temporarily floods the room with a perfect and necessary darkness."
    --Heidi Priebe

"I view stupidity as a force of nature: It can't be reasoned with, can't be
argued with, and should never be underestimated."
    --Boxing Octopus

"We are now at the age we have seen most of this bullshit before, so you're
not going to fool us easily.  Gen X may be a small generation that's stretched
too thin right now as we look after our kids and our parents, but that just
makes us all the more wary and skeptical."
    --Amber Fraley

"Most of life is about discovering the perfect ways to get high and vibe out
and the rest of it is about guerilla warfare."
    --@vriska@lizards.live

Balk's First Law: "Everything you hate about the Internet is actually
    everything you hate about people."

Balk's Second Law: "The worst thing is knowing what everyone thinks about
    anything."

Balk's Third Law: "If you think the Internet is terrible now, just wait a
    while."

"If you think the Internet is terrible now, just wait a while.  The moment you
were just in was as good as it got.  The stuff you shake your head about now
will seem like fucking Shakespeare."
    --Alex Balk

"Immortality means an eternity of living with what we've done."
    --Tanaseda Hideki, _Altered Carbon_

"Against my better judgement I've now tried everything that the commenters
suggested, to no avail.  And lots of fail."
    --Perifractic

"PSA for everyone freaking out about this coronavirus: A country that Youtubed
itself into a 21st century measles outbreak does not get to talk any shit
about anyone else's heath practices."
    --Elliott Kay

"Object oriented programs are offered as alternatives to correct ones."
    --Edsger Dijkstra

"The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make these
vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the
errors to be truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same forms
of mental pathology does not make these people sane."
    --Erich Fromm

"I was on Brazilian television talking about stalkerware yesterday.  Number of
Brazilian instagram accounts that have requested to add my locked Insta: 433.
Number of emails to my EFF inbox: Zero."
    --Eva Galperin

"I've been behind enough trucks with nuts and/or logos of Calvin pissing on
$other_truck.logo to know that what the base lacks in decorum they put into
irrational brand loyalty."
    --Dr. Skrzyk

"I'm autistic, which means everyone around me has a disorder that makes them
say things they don't mean, not care about structure, fail to hyperfocus on
singular important topics, have unreliable memories, drop weird hints and
creepily stare into my eyeballs."
    --autisticnotweird.com

"When I feed the poor, they call me a saint, but when I ask why the poor are
hungry, they call me a communist."
    --Dom Helder Camara

"Remember, friends.  SQL Injection references are fun but don't put them on
the cards you include when sending flowers to your Valentine.  Now if you'll
excuse me, I need to explain to my local florist why the flowers I'm sending
to my wife crashed their point-of-sale system."
    --@neuromancer@hackers.town

"If you regard yourself as a stalwart and intrepid anti-fascist warrior, andxi
your work consists exclusively or even primarily of sitting on Twitter
anonymously calling others fascist, then I'd like you to know that there's a
huge gap between your self-conception and your reality."
    --Glenn Greenwald

"That moment when you realize the world you're about to return to *after* the
hacker con has become far stranger and scarier than even the most extreme made
up fantasy of what people think it's like *at* a hacker con."
    --Deviant Ollam

"In a post-truth world, only myths are real."
    --Fool

"You are not compelled to form any opinion about this matter before you, nor
to disturb your peace of mind at all.  Things in themselves have no power to
extort a verdict from you."
    --Marcus Aurelius

"The Internet is like a giant Wikipedia where all the contributors are bad
actors and trolls."
    --Heart of Snarkness

"The easiest way for a foreign army to invade the US is probably to wait for
snow flurries and then just walk in to all the empty government buildings."
    --Matt Blaze

"Seek receipts before blindly taking the word of powerful people."
    --Dominic Rystan

"Is there anything more capitalist than a peanut with a top hat, cane, and
monocle selling you other peanuts to eat?"
    --@skullmandible

"When will we write the facts from the point of view of a cosmic joke, that
is as God sees them from on high?"
    --Gustave Flaubert

"Monsters exist, but they are too few in number to be truly dangerous.  More
dangerous are the common men, the functionaries ready to believe and to act
without asking questions."
    --Primo Levi

"95% of your AWS bill is just interest on your tech debt."
    --@toxic

The @stonekettle Law of Trolls: When a conservative starts out by calling you
"stupid," the probability that he doesn't know the difference between "your"
and "you're" approaches 100%.

"Obviously the coronavirus is really serious but probably good to remember
that if regular influenza was covered on an infection-by-infection basis with
breathless analysis of travel patterns you'd probably never leave the house."
    --@SzMarsupial

"There is a tendency in fringe politics to assume that it matters what you
think."
    --The Anarcho-Accelerationist

"I discovered that the Pope during his tenure had surreptitiously abolished
the famous office of Devil's Advocate, in order to fast-track still more of
his many candidates for canonization.  I can thus claim to be the only living
person to have represented the Devil pro bono."
    --Christopher Hitchens

"Wouldn't Areola 51 be a great name for a top secret sexbot factory?"
    --JMS

"I was accused of being the adult in the room.  That's awful.  That's a sign
of bad life choices right there."
    --Dr. Skrzyk

"Jellyfish are stupid."
"Tasty, though."
"I knew you were a fuckin' sea turtle."
    --the_gibson and Kemonine

"We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they
were going to be easy."
    --The Programmer's Creedo

"I believe a horny human can be capable of the most ingenious and bizarre
problem solving thinking due to the power of an ever present desire."
    --Mx. Siege

"The butt-clench is still real."
    --Mike Uyama

"Reality is not merely a series of numbers to be inventoried by other people
or machines, reality is far more complex and overlooking the complexity will
directly result in failure."
    --Ryan Carboni

"I am many!  I am one!"
    --Clifford Skridlow, _Doctor Detroit_

"I know it's wrong, but I'm overwhelmed."
    --Garnet, _Steven Universe Future_

"Windows Key!  How could you do this to me?!"
    --Liz Star

"It doesn't matter how fast your modem is if you're being shelled by ethnic
separatists."
    --William Gibson

"My general rule of thumb: You don't have to believe in everything, but don't
fuck with it, just in case."
    --superindianslug, on the Fae

"While you studied the blade, I was partying.  While you mastered the
blockchain, I was partying.  While you cultivated inner strength, I was
partying.  And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the
gate, I'm still partying.  I don't even know who you are."
    --Tarzanboy

"A radical is nothing but a liberal with a big mouth.  And a militant radical
is nothing but a bigmouthed liberal with a Che costume."
    --Hagbard Celine, _Illuminatus: The Eye In the Pyramid_

"Let me explain why I like to pay taxes for schools even though I personally
don't have a kid in school.  It's because I don't like living in a country with
a bunch of stupid people."
    --John Green

"I just can't make physics be the dominant metaphor for how I live a life."
    --Rhian

"I had nightmares I thought were really horrible until I woke up and remembered
what reality was at the moment."
    --Iain M. Banks

"Continental European hacker-types hate me because of where I work, I know.  But
you know: Their kids get subsidized health care and education.  Mine don't.
Maybe if their immigration policies weren't so bonkers I could move.  At least
I'm not working on weapons, I'm working on stuff that is net-good for the
internet, and I'm doing a ton of union agitating.  I've seen friends around me
end up fired over what we're doing.  So lay it on, haters.  I'm doing what I
gotta do to make sure my kid has options and grows up in a place where my fellow
fucking white people don't ask her, 'No where are you from, originally?'"
    --Dual Number

"If you're going to be a fucking rockstar, go be one.  People don't want to see
the guy next door on stage; they want to see a being from another planet."
    --Lemmy

"All governments suffer a recurring problem: Power attracts pathological
personalities.  It is not power that corrupts, but that it is magnetic to the
corruptible."
    --Frank Herbert

"It's easy to ignore anger from the perpetually self-righteous; screaming
about everything is functionally the same as saying nothing, as the nuances
of emphasis are lost.  The ire of a kindly man is a different thing entirely."
    --Arabella Flynn

"The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous."
    --George Orwell

"There is no evidence that would be accepted in a court of law that The Church
of the SubGenius has anything to do with the 'drones' being observed over
Denver, Colorado."
    --Rev. Onan Canobite, Church of the Subgenius

"Peace was all around, but no one stopped fighting long enough to notice."
    --DJ Sundog

"In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or
becomes true."
    --John Lilly

"Well, here's how it works with wasps: We eat our prey alive and when we don't
we lay our eggs in their eyeballs so that our young can feast on their brains
when they hatch.  When you're born that big an asshole, the least you can do
is have a little empathy.  Now come have dinner with my beutiful family."
    --Wasp Rick Sanchez

"I came here to throat-punch kaiju and teach humanities, and they just cut
funding for the humanities."
    --???

"Windows 95 was the last time they [Microsoft] focused on making a good
computing experience... Windows 98 was not a product; it was a battlefield
used to fight an unrelated war regarding who owned the Internet."
    --Gravis

"You're not really famous until you're a Pez dispenser."
    --Carrie Fisher

"If there's one thing my time in uniform has taught me as a scifi writer, it's
how often even the simplest technology doesn't work once DoD gets its hands on
it."
    --NatSecElitist

"In the evangelical world, information is not just pure information, it's
weaponry.  It's impossible to look at a fact without being influenced by
'agenda' - is the fact a weapon for the evolutionary agenda?  Gay agenda?
Pro-death (abortion) agenda?  In this world, you can't just have 'a question' -
questions are either threats against you or attacks on the opponent.  Every
piece of data has a moral flavor that contributes with no complications to a
black and white world. Reality is partial, reality is war."
    --Aella

"Culture is mostly a way of incinerating human potential activity because
there's nowhere productive to direct most of it, and can't be.  Most of life
is useless and nonsense and should be."
    --3fingeredfox

"An operating system is a collection of things that don't fit into a language.
There shouldn't be one."
    --Dan Ingalls, principal architect of Smalltalk

"Society is a machine that turns empathy into bitterness."
    --Aleums

"We're going into 2020 and now more than ever in our lives, please let me
encourage you: Now is the time to just go completely goddamned hogwild with
whatever your Thing is.  Doesn't matter if anybody else gets it, that ain't
the point.  Just Do You; we're literally approaching the first major Cyberpunk
Year from like every sleazy early-mid-90s RPG splatbook and now is not the
time to be coy about self-identity.  Go apeshit.  You wanna be a neon-colored
psychedelic fuck-fractal made of infinity scottish voles?  Do it.  Be a magical
girl.  Be the edgelord chuuni kid you were shy about being in high school.
Inherit this sinful Earth and hammer your selfhood into a shape you feel
comfortable occupying.  Go for fuckin' broke because if I know one thing it is
that only the outlandish will save us."
    --Hysteric Empress

"Don't care for the crow because the crow is composed of dust.  You will be
made of dust, too, if the sun rises again."
    --Madness

Your idea of me is not MY responsibility to live up to.

"I give the scientists in the _Alien_ films a lot of flack for making poor
choices, but I definitely just picked up a large cocoon and put it up to my
eye to see if anything was inside it."
    --Winter Alex

"An ethicist is someone who has a problem with whatever you have in your mind."
    --Marvin Minsky

"The Internet becomes more fractured and full of shit - and so does the world."
    --Asher Wolf

"Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is
stronger than gratitude."
    --Anne Frank

"The part of the me that registers big deals is broken and only the dull
dread module is still operating."
    --David Roberts

"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."
    --Friedrich Nietzsche

"There's nobody who will argue with an expert like an amateur."
    --Adam Jury

"The world, as ever, is complicated."
    --Deviant Ollam

"People are far more likely to help you if they have reasonable expectation
of cover."
    --the_gibson

"You think Facebook is bad?  Those Youtube motherfuckers - they will really
fuck you up."
    --William Gibson

"Privacy cannot require the user to make a bunch of choices they're not
equipped to make."
    --Freakazoid

"Coffee-mate is the low-level waste produced by America's nuclear weapons
programs, ingeniously repackaged as diabetes."
    --Matthew Green

"A browser is a remote code execution engine for attacker-controlled content."
    --Tony Arcieri

"I would never fry a cat, of course, that's a braised dish."
    --Alton Brown

"The more evil you think someone is, the greater should be your concern to
ensure there is not the slightest chance they understand something better than
you."
    --Justin Murphy

"As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind: Every part of
this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder."
    --John Glenn

"Connectivity for connectivity's sake will be the death of freedom."
    --LeftHandPath

"Critical theory is when I roll a 20 on both my WIS and CHA checks while
bullshitting an essay."
    --Jewbacchus

"All of my Super Sentai episode watching prepared me for bad acting and
fighting in the desert."
    --Polychrome, on _Cherry 2000_

"Oh hey, a Sonic!  Cherry limeade!  Oh hey, drive thru only.  Oh hey, no
working lights in the bathroom so I'm using it with my phone/flashlight tucked
under my chin like I'm playing violin in Silent Hill."
    --Tek

"The thing about the truth is, not a lot of people can handle it."
    --Conor McGregor

"I WILL still FUCK you the FUCK up.  Or if you mean I'm in my 70's and in a
wheelchair - get a hobby you morbid fuck.  I'm fine."
    --Tim Curry, on fans lamenting his age

"The apocalypse is already here - it's just not evenly distributed yet."
    --William Gibson, 2019.ev

"It's hard to take anyone in a flannel skullcap seriously."
    --Tom Servo, _MST3k: Project Moonbase_

"Remember: It's only corruption and cronyism if you're not the one getting a
piece of the pie."
    --Josh Ellis

"Never make your loved ones guess how you feel about them.  Show them, tell
them, in excess.  Tomorrow is never promised."
    --Shaun King

"The big weakness of crowdsourcing content: You don't get the whole crowd, you
just get whoever's stubborn enough to get the last word."
    --Isaac Rabinovitch

"One day I hope to reliably tell the difference between existential despair
and forgetting to eat lunch."
    --evacide

"He makes Urkle look like van Damme."
    --Mike, _MST3k: Terror From the Year 5000_

"Joey is the only real hacker in the crew.  He's the only one in the crew to
hack a Gibson by himself.  Everyone else had to rally the troops and get
special hardware and shit.  Joey and Lucy are the only ones to make that run
solo."
    --Sungo

"Turns out C++ template metaprogramming can be both powerful and easy to use
if you use it as part of your compilation target instead of writing code that
uses those templates by hand."
    --Whitequark

"Only half of programming is coding.  The other 90% is debugging."
    --Anonymous

"When you want to bomb somebody, there's remarkably little discussion about
how much it might cost.  But when you have a discussion about whether or not
we can assist suffering people, then suddenly we become very cost conscious."
    --Andrew J. Bacevich

"The plural of 'regex' is 'regrets'."
    --@ifosteve

"Using Wikipedia as a specialities' in-depth wiki ends in tears because at
some point the Deletionists roll into town and trash all that stuff."
    --Craig Timpany

"Pouring parmesan and garlic salt into this Earl Grey for a tasty savory
beverage sensation."
    --gdkar

"The totally convinced and the totally stupid have too much in common for the
resemblance to be accidental."
    --Robert Anton Wilson

"People who aren't doing the work certainly have strong opinions about what
people doing the work are doing wrong."
    --Matt Blaze

"I am convinced that everything is fiction."
    --Charles Hoy Fort

"What the writers of modern science fiction invent today, you and I will do
tomorrow."
    --JG Ballard, 1971.ev

"If it's mentionable, it's manageable."
    --Mister Rogers

"If all you can say about a book/film is that you wished it had been some
different type of art, the question remains why you bothered with it at all.
Bemoan that other things aren't getting attention, but permit things to be
what they are."
    --Pete Wolfendale

"I was having a meeting at a network that will remain - Starz - and when the
executives there I was pitching a five year arc and he was grousing and saying
'All these writers come in saying they want to do a five year arc but they
can never pull it off.  What makes you think you can do it?'  I invented the
mother fucker."
    --J. Michael Straczynski

"It's evident at this point that proletarian internationalism, our only
meaningful hope of the deposing the bloodthirsty, degenerate bourgeoisie and
building something better in the ruins of their dystopia, has abjectly failed
in the United States.  Despite the pretty rhetoric, everyone but the most
deluded parts of white America are squaring off on racial lines, and anyone
who's done time in prison knows all too well what that means.  So, the dream
is dead.  One way or another, there's nothing left but to hunker down, protect
you and yours, and hope you're still breathing at the end of what comes next.
It's too late to pull any of us out of the fire.  The only way anything gets
better is after the millions of innocents are done dying.  The worst part is,
it's hard to see it as anything but euthanasia at this point.  We're all so
broken and miserable.  I just hope europe learns from our mistakes."
    --Velartrill

"Archaeology sucks because you dig up a pillar that says, like 'Yo, King
Priapism here, love your holy site, in the year of me 14, I visited with like
eight wives, holla' and you have to make it sound serious."
    --Rev. Poppy Haze

"There's not a damn science fiction film except maybe _The Day the Earth Stood
Still_ that has a social message like this.  That has social history in it
like this."
    --Peter Weller, on _Robocop_ and filmmaking

"Every diode is an LED if you have enough current."
    --deshipu

"Parts of me are just coming off.  I think I'm in a new Cronenberg movie."
    --Jamie French, on false eyelashes

"Tonight I realized that humans don't have ten fingers, we have eight, and
that all basic arithmetic should be done in octal.  I also realized that I
shouldn't drink coffee after 6pm anymore."
    --Matthew Green

"I'm baffled.  My feed is like intersection of anarchist Twitter, hacker
Twitter, and security Twitter and none of y'all are talking about the fact
that we just saw potentially the world's biggest jewel heist in history.
Potentially 10x larger than Antwerp.  And it was shockingly pedestrian in
execution.  Plan seems to have been 'set a fire to knock out power and then
just fucking go hog wild with axes.  Getaway car?  That sounds like a problem
for fire, too.' It's like if _Ocean's 11_ were redone with a bunch of fucking
Juggalos."
    --@TheTarquin

"Think of the last time you heard a teacher or presenter say, ''I'll be going
fast; we have a lot to get through today.''  How often have you heard someone
say ''We're going to go slow; I want to make sure you understand these
concepts.''  Why is learning something you 'get through'?"
    --CW

"For some of us, Halloween is every day."
    --Tim Burton

"Normal is an illusion.  What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly."
    --Charles Addams

"Few discourses are more violently annoying than a Western intellectual trying
to nuance a coup."
    --Steven Salaita

"The terrible thing about [publishing a book/getting your dream job/starting
a new relationship] is you wake up the next morning and you're still you.
If you're not happy where you're at, no external accomplishment is going to
change that."
    --Dana Schwartz

"Yoda is rather cocky for a Jedi master that just spent three movies with no
idea the chancellor was a Sith."
    --Bobby Moss

"'Private equity firm' is code for 'company that produces nothing of value
and only exists to siphon money from others at all costs'."
    --W10x12

"I think there is a pressure on here to be sharp and funny all the time,
because that's the kind of text that gets picked up and passed around because
people enjoy it.  That's exhausting though, and it's not something everyone's
good at anyway!  I hope people on here can feel free to be dull and normal
and sincere and not particularly witty and just talk about normal stuff that's
on their minds, and know that it's appreciated that we can all share these
pieces of our selves with each other."
    --Anonymous, on the Fediverse

"If you don't want to work with your hands, buy yourself some nitrile gloves
at the drugstore, like the black ones because they make you look like a
Bond villain."
    --Alton Brown

"Nothing inspires arrogance like a lifetime spent controlling machines that
are incapable of criticism."
    --Edward Snowden

"The US is 'with' no one.  Hell, Canadians don't even trust you guys anymore.
Do you know how much damage you have to do to make Canadians dislike you?"
    --Dennis Detwiller

"The best science is often a long, slow, passive-aggressive argument."
    --zefrank1

"At some point you have to ignore what you think other people want and instead
make what you want to make, and know that the right audience will get it and
that's the audience you want to have."
    --Joel Hodgson

"Sci-hub: Literally what the Web was built to do, so stop yer yakkin' about it."
    --Blake C. Stacey

"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy
evidence of the fact.:
    --George Eliot, _Impressions of Theophrastus Such_

"Libre software is important, but it is a means to free people, not an end in
itself."
    --Thibault Martin

"The whole thing is quite hopeless, so it's no good worrying about tomorrow.
It probably won't come."
    --JRR Tolkein

"Many no longer believe that a better world, as opposed to a better life, is
possible, and the rhetoric of private well-being trumps public good, at least
in the English-speaking world.  And yet the yearning remains - all the riches
piled up, the security gates and stock options, are only defenses against a
world of insecurity and animosity, piecemeal solutions to a pervasive problem."
    --Rebecca Solnit, _A Paradise Built In Hell_

"My husband got me an early Christmas present. It's a little robotic vacuum!
I'm naming it Lemmy because I have a feeling that it's gonna shred everything."
    --fidgety

"Anything what confuses the average adult human is magic".
    --Banjofox's corollary to Clarke's Third Law

"I have been forcibly reminded the voyager plates basically constitute a
mixtape, unsolicited nudes, and directions to where we live."
    --esvrld

"We are more often frightened than hurt.  We suffer more from imagination
than from reality."
    --Seneca

"No!  I refuse to die here!  I still have Internet arguments to win!"
    --Peridot, _Steven Universe_

"Don't try to use what you learn from Buddhism to be a Buddhist.  Use it to
be a better whatever-you-already-are."
    --The Dalai Lama

"It's only cynicism if it DOESN'T ACTUALLY COME TO PASS.  Otherwise, it's just
reality.  Please stop pretending everything is going to somehow work out.  
That's how we got here."
    --Dennis Detwiller

"What this country needs is not better children but better adults."
    --The Skipper, _Stand On Zanzibar_

"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's
covering [up] mistakes.  Real boats rock."
    --Frank Herbert

Coincidence - You weren't paying attention to the other half of what was going
on.
    --Chad C. Mulligan, _The Hipcrime Vocab_

"That is a heaping bowl of win!"
    --Deviant Ollam

"My other airgap is an Internet connection."
    --@itsreallynick

"I remember when I was young and naive and assumed we just wouldn't connect
nuclear plants to the Internet."
    --Matthew Green

"Some flatus-boiled tea, for science!"
    --Adam Savage

"Leftists sitting on their asses are about as useful as the thoughts and
prayers of school shootings."
    --Newt Geiszler

"Celebrity is just obscurity biding its time."
    --Carrie Fisher

"Rorschach became the most popular character in _Watchmen_.  I made him to be
a bad example.  But I have people come up to me in the street and saying ''I
AM Rorschach.  That is MY story.'' And I'd be thinking: 'Yeah, great.  Could
you just, like, keep away from me, never come anywhere near me again as long
as I live?''"
    --Alan Moore

"Always take sides.  Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim.  Silence
encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."
    --Elie Wiesel

"There are three kinds of men.  The one that learns by reading.  The few who
learn by observation.  The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for
themselves."
    --Will Rogers

"Our bodies are prisons for our souls.  Our skin and blood, the iron bars of
confinement.  But fear not.  All flesh decays.  Death turns all to ash.  And
thus, death frees every soul."
    --Grand Inquisitor Silecio, _The Fountain_

"In your experience, does anyone ever ask 'What are your pronouns?' to someone
who passes for cis?  It's like being asked 'Is that your real nose?' with a
side helping of 'Is the person who asked me that going to try to kick my ass
if they don't get the answer they want?'"
    --Maradydd

"If all the non-Chinese corporations pushed back together, they could really
accomplish something.  But corporations are optimized for nonconfrontational
appeasement so it'll never happen."
    --0xabadidea

"People trying to shape reality through what fiction is allowed to be made are
like cats batting at the mirror and not understanding it's a reflection."
    --@gottago2space

"A generation which ignores history has no past and no future."
    --Frank Klaassen

"Man prides himself on being the only animal who can modify his nature, yet
when he chooses to do so he is called a phony."
    --Anton LeVay

"There's a lot of brave new misery in our brave new world."
    --Nickie Haflinger, _The Shockwave Rider_

"On a scale of one to attacking Jackie Chan in a ladder factory while he's
holding a baby after he's just said he doesn't want any trouble, how bad is
this idea?"
    --Noelle

"Money is just permission from rich people."
    --Garbados

"If adults called you an 'old soul' as a child, that was a polite way of
saying ''Wow, you're only 12 and you've already lost all your serotonin.''"
    --Remy Clio

"Remember kids, the only difference between science and screwing around is
writing it down. ... It's a beautiful ethos... I love that quote because it
brings science closer to screwing around.  And we think of science as the
/opposite/ of screwing around!  But if you want to find people who've tested
weird crap, talk to a scientist, man!  The quote secretly has this thing in
it that lowers the threshold for entry to science.  That's inherently an
amazing thing."
    --Adam Savage

"When you're from a society that raises boys to be soldiers, trans femininity
is inherently a betrayal of the state."
    --Ita Segev

"I'm smart enough to know I'm dumb enough that I can't help you."
    --Deadpool

"Homo digitalis may challenge the state, but the state will always fight back."
    --David Patrikarakos

"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry
about answers."
    --Thomas Pynchon

"I don't believe in God.  But I do believe in dramatic irony."
    --JMS

"Icarus is bullshit, that's why it's called mythology.  People can't stand
genius without an apology.  Fuck that, fuck them go get what you want to
get.  Let them stay home and comment on the Internet."
    --Garfunkel and Oates

"You can't blow on an app."
    --Jason Murphy, on carrying gaming dice

"The best way to get management excited about a disaster plan is to burn down
the building across the street."
    --Dan Erwin, Security Officer, Dow Chemical, 2008.ev

"I did the thing!  I did the thing!  I learned!"
    --Brian Brushwood

"It doesn't feel to me that it's in our nature to do anything perfectly."
    --William Gibson

"It doesn't matter that both Bill Clinton and Obama did things that Reagan
and both George Bushes would've approved of, because everyone from Limbaugh
to Fox to Youtube randos is telling the actual voters of this group that those
conservative positions they took are far left."
    --Colin Spacetwinks

"Today another colleague showed up with an injured hand.  The cause?  Rogue
roomba got stuck under the stove and he hurt himself retrieving his little
robot helper.  I laughed at the absurdity, and then remembered that I applied
security patches to my light bulbs yesterday."
    --Gn0w

"It's not 'danger,' it's 'accepted occupational hazard.'"
    --Griffin

"Guys, please don't make jokes about the current political situation.  It's
very difficult to tell them apart from what's actually happening."
    --Dahlia Adler

"I honestly believe in a bottomless pit of stupid which swallows everything
worthwhile and good and I haven't seen much to dissuade me from that point
of view."
    --The Illustrious Skinbag

"If you're uninterested in reading my words, why should I make more of them
for you?"
    --Matt Blaze

"As you watch Trump's defenders lie, deflect, and distract today and in the
coming weeks, remember that they don't care about being caught in obvious
lies.  Calling bullshit still means you're talking about the bullshit,
not the facts."
    --Garry Kasparov

"Create the world that your enemies see in their nightmares."
    --Janus

"But why can't we have a Christian nation?  Because a marriage of church and
state always leads to corruption of both the religion and the nation."
    -Rev. Heather Jepsen, Pastor, First Presbyterian Church

"If your logic is 'the whistleblowers are CIA and cannot be trusted' then all
you're really saying is that the job of intelligence officials is to let the
political leadership get away with crimes."
    --Adam Serwer

"I think we can all agree that internet arguments that involve arguing over
dictionary definitions are the waking up in a stranger's backyard after a
bender of internet arguments.  If you're not questioning your life choices,
you might not actually be sentient."
    --Zen Sayuki

"So where did infinity all begin?  In the same place where infinity ends: In
the conscious minds and dreams of shamen."
    --xj9

"Root should know better."
    --Lennart Poettering

"The failure mode of 'clever' is 'asshole'."
    --John Scalzi

"The most important lesson we can learn from _Ghost in the Shell_ is to turn
off your unused interfaces.  There's no reason to accept unexpected ad-hoc
radio connections, parse every piece of barcode encoded data on your field of
vision or process every audio data burst within earshot.  That will get your
cyberbrain hijacked.  An organized cyborg is a safe cyborg."
    --Polychrome

"You were warned that truth is stranger than fiction, and you didn't listen.
You just keep writing stranger and stranger fiction.  And then you have the
nerve to complain that reality has disintegrated into an absolute Salvador
Dali clown carnival.  Yes motherfucker, it sure did."
    --@chaosprime

"When you've got a magnatron, you /use/ a magnatron."
    --The Thought Emporium, on building a metal deposition system

"What's the deal with eBay sellers that sell electrostatically sensitive ICs,
do a perfect 5 layer Russian doll packaging that could withstand global
thermonuclear war - only to wrap the actual goods in household film and seat
it in foam so charged you can feel it a meter away."
    --Retrograde

"Nihilism is like the spice agony.  It'll kill your soul and destroy your
culture and civilization.  Very few people are prepared for the void.  It is
tremendously powerful, but we've forgotten the old ways of preparing people
to touch infinity."
    --xj9

"You made me look capable at something!"
    --Jason Murphy

"How egocentric of us to think that Space Aliens, who have mastered
interstellar travel across the Galaxy, would give a shit about humans on Earth."
    --Neil deGrasse Tyson

"I am rather inclined to silence, and whether that be wise or not, it is at
least more unusual nowadays to find a man who can hold his tongue than to
find one who cannot."
    --Abraham Lincoln

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who know trinary, those who
don't, and those who are now looking for their dictionaries."
    --Rick Moen

Just because there /can/ be a failure mode in something does not mean that it
is worthless.  It means that you have to take care of it to keep it from
failing.

"People who are afraid to think, wasting everyone's time with a discussion
about whether they are allowed to think."
    --@swissidealism

"There are things in the Universe that you do not know about.  Many of them
are awesome and you would like them."
    --Banjofox

"Upgrade, overclock, run silent."
    --zpojqwfejwfhiunz

"The main reason I don't dye my hair, dress in a performatively ''alt'' way,
have tattoos, etc: It's a bad way to spend down your 'weirdness' allowance.
I'd rather spend it down in other, more effective ways.  People will only let
you be so weird before they ignore you.  It not only signals ''I am out of
power''; it also signals ''I am uninterested in power, and am instead more
invested in pursuing the aesthetic ideal of 'outsider' instead of putting in
the hard work of actually changing things.''"
    --Jackson Kernion

"If you want to know how angry a city is, ride a bike through it."
    --Robin Mazumder

"You don't need to say mean things to be jokester.  Not that difficult, bud."
    --Chuck Tingle

"We were literally fighting a war."
    --Paul Laney, Cass County Sherrif, on Standing Rock

"We don't have the financial resources we need to continue.  I'm not a
billionaire.  I can't fund my own campaign."
    --Kamala Harris, on USian politics

"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by social networks,
algorithm-driven hysterical neurotic... dragging themselves through feeds at
dawn looking for a dopamine fix attention-starved 'influencers' burning to
signal their virtue and feasting on 'likes'."
    --Hiro Protagonist

"Dan Crenshaw says New Yorkers wouldn't understand the concept of people
loaning weapons to each other?  Bitch, I'm *still* carrying Barbra Streisand's
switchblade and brass knuckles from that time the 5-0 were on her."
    --Bette Midler

"Save your bullshit airhead optimism for your fucking Burning Man camp and
let the grownups get to the business of trying to keep as many innocent people
alive as our collective bad choices rip this civilization to shit, whaddya
say, you witless assholes?"
    --Josh Ellis

"It amazes me I have to explain physical reality to people, but heck, the
level of irateness I receive in response to basic, factual statements is
just, well, stunning.  I don't know what world you people were raised in,
but it's fair to say you were not paying attention."
    --Dennis Detwiller

"You may have wondered why I had a baking sheet under my cutting board.  It's
there to catch the juices.  The first time I processed tomatoes like this,
it made my kitchen into a faux abattoir.  It looked like I'd been using TNT
to butcher sheep."
    --Hasufin

"If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other
way."
    --Mark Twain

"DAMN YOU TV'S PAT SAJAK!"
    --Jason Murphy

"When software has a cult following there probably is something wrong with it."
    --@nihl

"Definition of good whiskey is, whiskey you like to drink.  And the right way
to drink whiskey is the way you want to.  And anyone who argues with that
is a pretentious asshole."
    --Daniel Whittington

"Each heart breaks into a unique shattering pattern, and it is by this that
we recognize one another."
    --pecheverri

"If you want to know what's shortly due for the guillotine look for the most
obvious of all symptoms: Extremism.  It is an almost infallible sign - a kind
of death rattle - when a human institution is forced by its members into
stressing those and only those factors which are identificatory, at the
expense of others which it necessarily shares with competing institutions
because human beings belong to all of them."
    --Chad C. Mulligan

"Denial can be a lifesaving thing, in certain lives, in certain times.  How
on earth did you get through /that/?  Some reliable part of you just says,
it's not happening."
    --William Gibson

"Know-how and clever don't count for shit if you aren't thinking about the
problem clearly."
    --emsenn

"So if people heard the message that you said, Aral, in your keynote and
their response was 'Well, I want nothing to do with that conference,' well
in all honesty, fuck 'em."
    --@docbaty

"I'm not sure if there've been new advances in cryptography, papers I haven't
read, or if someone burned a number theory 0day for CTF."
    --Overheard at Chaos Computer Camp

"The worst part about having a mental illness is... people expect you to
behave as if you don't."
    --The Joker

"What I don't understand is the sheer rage about this.  But I've spent...
5 years thinking about gamer rage and I don't think there is any point to it
at all anymore.  It will take whatever shape it needs to in order to exist.
The target, the logic, none of that matters, all that matters is that there is
something to be mad about."
    --Dankwraith

"Just dig the records, but don't go talk to them [your favorite musicians],
because you might get a human response."
    --Henry Rollins, on musicians

"Fear is a great motivator."
    --Art Bell

"I do not want to father a flock, to be the fetish of fools and fanatics, or
the founder of a faith whose followers are content to echo my opinions.  I
want each man to cut his own way through the jungle."
    --Aleister Crowley

"AIX - the Unix from the universe where Spock has a beard."
    --JHM

"I don't know what percentage of our time on any computer-based project is
spent getting the equipment to work right, but if I had a gardener who spent
as much time fixing her shovel as we spend fooling with our computers, I'd buy
her a good shovel.  At least you can buy a good shovel."
    --Erasmus Smums

"Iä! Iä! PC LOAD LETTER"
    --Dash

"Lord, grant me the confidence of Bertrand Russell writing a history of western
philosophy."
    --@wasoante

"Failures are a given, and everything will eventually fail over time."
    --Werner Vogels

"Civilization is like a thin layer of ice upon a deep ocean of chaos and
darkness."
    --Werner Herzog

"Kids get it.  They don't operate on logic."
    --Miyazaki Hayao

"Yes, I work for a CA that issues EV certificates, but if there was no value
in them, then our customers would certainly not be paying extra for them."
    --Anonymous GlobalSign employee

"Information is not Knowledge; do you or your opponent have the stronger
powers of analysis and action based on it?"
    --feonixrift

"We learn from history, that we do not learn from history."
    --Jorden Vee

"The rate at which signs (symbols, words, etc) become damned because they're
picked up and reused by imbeciles is faster than we can adjust to now."
    --Lyrra Sark

"Never trust a father figure who doesn't come from Krypton or Smallville."
    --JMS

"It's assumed that truth, spoken to power, reverberates.  It's usually just a
turd in the punch bowl."
    --Dan Kaminsky

"When well intentioned people fall for bad faith tactics, bad faith people
continue to employ them.  When these people come for you, they cannot be
reasoned with."
    --Lindsay Ellis

"The world is actually pretty simple.  We're a wildly over-successful animal,
well within the systems that spawned us.  We will neither kill the earth nor
all life on it.  We'll just kill ourselves, while we dream of the stars."
    --Dennis Detwiller

"I hate when I'm fucking a dude and he asks who owns that pussy.  Technically
I think it's an asset of my S-Corp, but I'd have to ask my accountant to be
sure."
    --Kate Kennedy

"The only difference between a disaster and a ticking time bomb is the amount
of time you do not know you have left has not run out yet."
    --The Doctor

"Never apologize for being nerdy, because unnerdy people never apologize for
being assholes."
    --John Barrowman

"I do know that, I wrote the damn bill!"
    --Bernie Sanders, shutting down Tim Ryan like a headshot at point blank
      range

"Time to retract the foreskin of misconception and apply the wire brush of
enlightenment."
    --Geoff Miller

"Buy the latte.  Order the fucking avocado toast.  Fuck and dance and enjoy
life like there's no tomorrow.  You age quickly, the old people are lying to
your and blaming you because they feel bad they stole your future and shit
all over what they didn't steal."
    --Xeni Jardin

"I'm very concerned that our society is much more interested in information
than wonder, in noise rather than silence... How do we encourage reflection?"
    --Mr. Rogers

"Socialism is a scareword they have hurled at every advance the people have
made in the last 20 years.  Socialism is what they called public power.
Socialism is what they called Social Security.  Socialism is what they called
farm price supports.  Socialism is what they called bank deposit insurance.
Socialism is what they called the growth of free and independent labor
organizations.  Socialism is their name for almost anything that helps all
the people."
    --Harry S. Truman

"You should never run out of people to be."
    --Attributed to Genesis Breyer P-Orridge

"It's 2019 and script kiddies can get their hands on nation-state developed
attacks.  If you still think nation states shouldn't be in your security
model, either you are working for them, or its time to retire."
    --ky0ko

"The Internet: Where everything's made of text but nobody reads any of it."
    --Andi

Leadership: A form of self-preservation exhibited by people with
autodestructive imaginations in order to ensure that when it comes to the
crunch it'll be someone else's bones which go crack and not their own.
    --Chad C. Mulligan, _The Hipcrime Vocab_

"Robocop is my favorite Barbie game."
    --Glitchwitch

"You can clap whenever something awesome happens."
    --Jason Murphy

"'How could disinformation campaigns even work?' you ask.  Well, millions of
people still think the US Army created AIDS at Ft. Detrick thanks to a 1983
KGB op, using a single article in an Indian newspaper."
    --Sean Gallagher

"There was a senator... after my pancreatic cancer, who announced, with great
glee, that I was going to be dead within six months.  That senator, whose name
I have forgotten, is now dead, and I, am very much alive."
    --Ruth Bader Ginsburg

"You can be unethical and still be legal, that's the way I live my life."
    --Mark Zuckerberg, interview in Vanity Fair Magazine, May 2019

"Bluetooth is an EXTREMELY complex radio protocol on Layer 1.  It's like a
mating dance between scorpions in the middle of a freeway."
    --Anonymous Hacker News poster

"These days, the kind of things that were clear signs of a paranoid disorder
ten or twenty years ago are how things genuinely work."
    --Munin, on the Internet of Things

"If you hire Gilbert Gottfried for a project he does not phone it in, no
matter how big the job is.  You get full Gottfried.  Remember that, synthwave
music video producers.  Full Gottfried."
    --Cobra Commander

"Real life has ways of cruelty beyond our imagination."
    --Opti

"If there is only one thing accurate about professional wrestling, it's to
expect bad actors to cheat every chance they get so they look better than they
really are."
    --The Doctor

"I keep seeing this: At some point, in some distant future, children, will
read in their history books, how we locked up children and separated them from
their families.  This isn't calling out anyone.  Just demystifying or adding
some dimension to the white washing that's taking place right in front of our
eyes.  If your children had read in school about the United States' history of
separating children from their families, of locking up children, of deporting
children, of executing children, you might not be locking up and separating
children right now.  So it's highly doubtful, as predicated by history, that
the United States ever learns its history lessons."
    --Jason Jeremias

"The first thing one learns upon becoming a subject of press interest is that
there's actually very little one can generally do in the face of inaccurate or
even malicious press coverage."
    --Barrett Brown

"Stop blaming an ignorance of history and recognize a nascent evil when you
see it."
    --@ediblesticker

"That's the thing about this ever tightening news cycle we find ourselves in:
You just need to influence the current one, it doesn't matter if the next
cycle debunks you."
    --0xdeadbabe

"Be the reason others need a burner phone."
    --Wiz Weise

"DC is not a real place, it's a drug-fueled collective hallucination created
primarily by lobbyists, and decentralizing our bizarrely concentrated Federal
government can only help."
    --Kistaro Windrider
    
"I just realized that my butt is just a really shitty 3D printer."
    --Brian Brushwood

"If you get the message, hang up the phone."
    --Alan Watts

"People literally think this asshole [Elon Musk] is a living god.  They feel
inspired by his regurgitated sci-fi plotlines and speed-freak vigor.  They
wish for a strongman of old, a warrior-king, a messiah.  They want to consume
their way out of their situation, so they pin their hopes on a hare-brained
capitalist.  But there's no reason why Musk's vision of the future should
coincide with the needs of us peasants.i  He doesn't work for our benefit.
He's a charismatic psychopath with a god complex, not a martyr."
    --Max Anton Brewer

"What good is magic if you can't fellate yourself?"
    --Agape Eris

"I like to call that one, 'Holy shit, it worked!'"
    --Jason Murphy

"I find it quaint that people worry I am corrupting children with my
transgenderness.  Lord, get to know me.  There's a billion things about me
you want to keep from your child."
    --Jess

"I cashed out most of my BTC and paid for dental work.  I have a mouth full
of Satoshi."
    --Sarah Pottraz

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three
unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and
the prudence never to practice either of them."
    --Mark Twain

"People may not listen to common sense, but money's another thing entirely."
    --Stingray

Bakpfeiffengesicht - German - A face in need of a fist.

"If people never did anything stupid, nothing intelligent would ever get done."
    --Ludwig Wittgenstein

"Getting old is a privilege denied to many."
    --Sarah Pottratz

"So many transwomen in UNIX circles it might be sudoestrogens, actually."
    --Pecheverri

"'BOFH' is pronounced ''I'm sorry, sir/ma'am/whatever is appropriate, I'll
never do it again and I've just handed in my resignation.  Please don't
kill me.''"
    --Bryce

"I don't care that they stole my idea, I care that they don't have any of
their own."
    --Nikola Tesla

"A harmless man is not a good man.  A good man is a very, very dangerous man
who has it voluntarily under control."
    --J. Peterson

"Chris [Hayes], /I/ think they're concentration camps.  Keep in mind that one
of their functions *by design* is to punish those individuals and families
who are detained."
    --Mike Godwin, of Godwin's Law

"You have 99 problems.  You decide to use machine learning.  Now you have
sheep banana stop sign problems."
    --Nate Cull

"Enough complicity with a dysfunctional system forces people to justify the
pain: It can transform someone's ability to endure senseless punishments into
a valor that all should have."
    --The Ferrett

"I have become a monster.  Ah, well.  I wonder if any of us set out to be
monsters?"
    --The Thin White Duke, _Return of the Thin White Duke_

"You know that frictionless, floating feeling you get when you take just a
few too many GABA analogues?  That's what their UI [Apple iOS] feels like."
    --0xdeba5e12

"There is a difference between 'knowing about' and 'knowing how.'  The
difference is usually 'safety.'"
    --The Doctor

"What's the statute of limitations on a broadcast signal intrusion?  Asking
for a friend."
    --The_Gibson

"Why is it that whenever we hang out I find myself in a hazmat suit?"
    --Jason Murphy

"When you hit OG status you'll spend most of your time STOPPING conflicts...
Not starting it."
    --Ice-T

"We cryptographers are arguing over PGP key sizes.  Meanwhile government
employees are emailing each other documents encrypted with a cipher that was
handily broken in the 90's."
    --Matthew Green

"I think we're doing this right.  It feels like a lot of science is happening."
    --Brian Brushwood

"Looking for the next sunrise."
    --Ray

"Being clever is not enough.  The world is packed with clever people who
haven't gone anywhere.  And it's jam packed with idiots who are rich beyond
your wildest imagination."
    --Adam Savage

"Why is our fictional dystopia nicer than real life?"
    --Can Ray

"We multicultural queer lizard people are everywhere, and it's useless to
resist our agenda."
    --Kaila Hale-Stern

"If you are ever lacking in confidence, remember that Apple thought it was a
good idea to charge $1,000.00 for a monitor stand."
    --@da_667

"It's all fun and games until you get a felony criminal mischief charge."
    --Howard Payne

"The Church does not want us, and we have no need of them.  The so-called
'Law of God' means nothing to us, we who put human dignity and personal
sovereignty first."
    --Lucien Greaves

"Maybe do meet your heroes, because you'll find out how human they are, and
learn hard life lessons about yourself and who you want to be."
    --Lesley Carhart

"What's the most primitive weapon that you'd be skilled at, do you think?"
"Uhhh... a 386?"
    --Jason Murphy and Brian Brushwood

"All the reasons which make the initiation of physical force an evil, make the
retaliatory use of physical force a moral imperative."
    --Ayn Rand

"Cyberspace has colonized the real world."
    --William Gibson

"Sometimes I forget that Musk owns a rocket company and assume he's just high."
    --Matthew Green

"Money is so weird.  They're just pieces of paper that we believe in."
    --Brian Brushwood

"America: The land where the baseline goal of guaranteeing people's physical
safety against random violence is 'politically impossible.'"
    --Adam Kotsko

"Courage is knowing it might hurt and doing it anyway.  Stupidity is the same.
And that's why life is hard."
    --Jeremy Goldberg

"People have such a hard time believing that they have been taken in by
propaganda and smear campaigns because being fooled is considered a shameful
thing in our society.  We must shift that shame from the people who are
fooled to the ones who are doing the fooling."
    --Caitlin Johnstone

"I grabbed these weeds from a local area."
    --Brian Brushwood

"Autistic culture is having to find a way to come to terms with the fact that
your own communication will always be judged solely by your specific word
choices, but that you will always be expected to only hear other peoples'
intention regardless of their word choices."
    --@mykola

"Assholes are assholes because they have nothing better to do with their time."
    --@malwaretechblog

"KISS fans are Boomer Juggalos."
    --Shlee

"When I see big powers and tech giants fighting, I feel like a tiny man
watching Godzilla and [King] Kong wrestle in my neighborhood."
    --Rick777

"We're aware of the scale of the planet, so we don't accept that our own
circumscribed horizons constitute reality.  Much more real is what's relayed
to us by the TV."
    --Norman House, _Stand On Zanzibar_

"Chess problems demand from the composer the same virtues that characterise
all worthwhile art: Originality, invention, conciseness, harmony, complexity,
and splendid insincerity."
    --Vladimir Nabokov

"Writing is nothing more or less than speaking on the page in your own natural
voice.  Writers write the way they talk and talk the way they write.  You have
to get out of your own way enough to say only and exactly what you mean to
say without second-guessing yourself."
    --JMS

"If you never used an early 80's computer one way to understand it would be
to imagine working with an AVR microcontroller like an Arduino but with extra
hardware like I/O and a tape/floppy drive.  Being a general purpose 8-bit
machine it wasn't *really* like a microcontroller but the feeling of working
with one is very much the same."
    --Polychrome

"Now I'm awake to the world.  I was asleep before.  That's how we let it
happen.  When they slaughtered Congress, we didn't wake up.  When they blamed
terrorists and suspended the Constitution, we didn't wake up then, either.
Nothing changes instantaneously.  In a gradually heating bathtub, you'd be
boiled to death before you knew it."
    --Margaret Atwood, _The Handmaid's Tale_

"The real fun of conspiracy hunting comes when you realize you can't trust
anyone, as all the paranoids know.  For the paranoids, this increases their
paranoia, which they seem to enjoy.  For a guerilla ontologist like me, it
increases my agnosticism, which I prefer to paranoia, because I find it more
amusing and less depressing."
    --Robert Anton Wilson

"_A Clockwork Orange_ is like a Disney movie for this generation."
    --Malcolm McDowell

"Instead of 'Hellfire and Brimstone' it should be labelled 'Dick Move.'"
    --Jason Murphy

"If you learn only methods, you'll be tied to your methods.  But if you learn
principles, you can devise your own methods."
    --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Training as a historian teaches you quickly that, to find the oppressor, just
find who is most strenuously insisting everyone BE POLITE."
    --Anthony Oliveira

"Everyone appreciates your honesty until you're honest with them, then you're
an asshole."
    --George Carlin

"I'm in America, I always expect violence."
    --Abbie Hoffman

Even if you bury your fears in madness new fears will only surface.

"It takes a great leap of faith to believe that our 'leaders' would be honest
enough, thoughtful enough, empathic enough, to think of the common good
rather than their own."
    --Dov Michaeli, MD, Ph.D

"Everything the Communists told us about communism was a complete and utter
lie.  Unfortunately, everything the Communists told us about capitalism turned
out to be true."
    --Post-Soviet Russian joke from the 1990s

"What Orwell feared were those who would ban books.  What Huxley feared was
that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who
wanted to read one.  Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information.
Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to
passivity and egoism.  Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from
us.  Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.  Orwell
feared we would become a captive culture.  Huxley feared we would become a
trivial culture."
    --Neil Postman

"Why don't you make like a tree and slowly expand your maturity within a
welcoming and supportive environment."
    --@doththedoth

"Whenever I hear about some bigmouth in Washington or the Christian heartland
banging on about the evils of sodomy or whatever, I mentally enter his name
in my notebook and contentedly set my watch.  Sooner rather than later he will
be discovered down on his weary and well-worn old knees in some dreary motel
or latrine, with an expired Visa card, having tried to pay well over the odds
to be peed upon by some Apache transvestite."
    --Christopher Hitchens

"After each ego death event, the new ego that arises is less brittle, more
resilient.  What will destroy the sixth iteration of a person, the first
iteration could not have survived mere contemplation of.  Eventually the
capacity to let someone be wrong on the internet emerges."
    --@chaosprime

"What I'm saying is, the planet's on fucking fire!"
    --Bill Nye the Science Guy

"When one teaches, two learn."
    --Robert A. Heinlein

"It is supremely unfair to target people for being ignorant in this day and
age when the entire education has been built to deaden the human intellect
instead of stimulate and develop it."
    --Earthship Captain

"You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man.  I'm just going to ask where
they're going and hook up with 'em later."
    --Mitch Hedberg

"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible."
    --Frank Zappa

"They say that if you don't learn from history you are doomed to repeat it.
They also say that history books are written by the victorious.  It follows
that given how little the history books talk about the preponderance of
ignorance, that the idiots have been winning for a very long time."
    --Dildog

"Crows roost communally.  Crows can describe individual humans and inform
other crows in their community about threats and friends.  Corvids are highly
intelligent and very social.  Birds are dinosaurs.  Part of the fun of feeding
crows is realizing that, as a direct result, real live dinosaurs are going to
talk to each other about you personally."
    --Kistaro Windrider

"Watching how IBM sells stuff and how their products are being bought all over
the place is like watching missiles passing over one's head, from A to B and
from B to A.  We've no control over it as it happens Up There, but we sure as
hell will be hit with blast, heat and radiation."
    --Meadow Ellis

"I have no empathy."
    --Joe Biden

"Science in general has been discredited by popular culture."
    --@lpgeffen

"My voice was given to me as an instrument of inspiration for my friends, and
a tool of torture and destruction to my enemies.  An instrument of truth."
    --Diamanda Galas

"There's usually nothing you can do for friends who become ideologized.
They're like zombies, immune to logic, reason, and decency until the ideology
passes, after which you won't need to explain what happened to them because
they'll claim they were against the ideology all along."
    --Mojave Phone Booth

"Collective good is dead.  Only capitalist hell that makes someone a clear
profit from the exploitation of others exists."
    --Munin

"We don't have religion; we've replaced it with science.  And science is
voodoo."
    --T. Coraghossan Boyle

"Damn, it's 4/20 but I forgot to leave out milk and cookies for Snoop last
night."
    --Griffin

"This morning isn't so much technical debt as it is technical payday loan."
    --Tek

"This process has happened plenty of times before: Industry around new tech
fails to self-regulate, a bunch of people get harmed, then once enough rich
white dudes are killed regulation suddenly happens."
    --Justin Warren

"Do not ask what they 'really' believe.  Ask what their claims would justify."
    --Jonathan Korman

"If death stops me from hacking I've screwed up somewhere along the way."
    --Puella Vulnerata

"Hope is a dangerous thing for a hacker like me to have."
    --0xdeba5e12

"The question is not ''what's your use case for having this be a flat file in
Git.'' It's ''how do you guarantee that we won't ever wish this was just a
flat file in Git.''"
    --Freakazoid

"I heard someone from the music business saying they are no longer looking for
talent, they want people with a certain look and a willingness to cooperate.
I thought, that's interesting, because I believe a total unwillingness to
cooperate is what is necessary to be an artist - not for perverse reasons, but
to protect your vision.  The considerations of a corporation, especially now,
have nothing to do with art or music.  That's why I spent my time now painting."
    --Joni Mitchell

"Go fuck yourself, reCAPTCHA.  Yes, here's a picture of buses.  I answered one
just like that but for mopeds like 15 seconds ago.  Either I'm a human or
I'm a smarter AI than you are, so please just let me register for this damn
website."
    --Tek

"It's the little things that push you over the edge, eventually."
    --@upthecypherpunx

"The coldest thing is people don't really pay attention to what your trying to
say until you're gone."
    --Ice-T

"If there is no enemy, one must be invented.  The military force which is
denied an external target always turns against its own people."
    --@cypherpunks

"The moral of the story of The Blues Brothers is that two wrongs don't make
a right, it's actually way, WAY more wrongs than that."
    --Pen Merch

"To assume the obvious is often to overlook the obvious."
    --Harrison Blackwood, _War of the Worlds_

"I am not a number I am a UTF-8 sequence."
    --Gorm

"You could say that the purpose of college is to prepare you for later life.
You could also say that its purpose is to drain you of any youthful dreams
and energy so that you slot right into the workforce."
    --@hector@explosion.party

"It [Javascript] might be the Unix philosophy taken to its logical extreme.
Everything should do one thing and do it well.  So now we have libraries that
are literally a single function."
    --Lowkeyloki

"Wonder is always there."
    --Brian Brushwood

"I know too many Robespierres who could not abide a Pimpernel."
    --Anonymous

"JSON and Bash is like OJ and toothpaste."
    --Mike Mittelstadt

"In a world full of assholes, kindness is a rebellious act."
    --Phil Brucato

"Nothing brings a group of assholes together faster than something that's
none of their fucking business."
    --Ice-T

"How is AGDQ [Awesome Games Done Quick] a whole week long?  You'd think a
hotel full of speedrunners could get it done faster..."
    --Warchamp7

"If they've weaponized mescaline then the end of the world is going to be
fucking rad."
    --Porpoise Christi

"From the Enlightenment to the mid-1940s, reason referred to forming ideas &
making good judgments.  But with the coming of the Cold War, game theory
redefined rationality as calculation subject to rules.  Such a view of
rationality was, conveniently, more programmable than wisdom."
    --Nils Gilman

"Sometimes I feel like the blinking cursor is taunting me.  'I, a perfect
machine, am twiddling my thumbs waiting for you, the meatsack, to come up
with something to keep me busy.'"
    --Luna Terra

"Well, well, well... if it isn't the consequences of my own actions."
    --Rues

"Socialism has a lot better chance of working in the US than elsewhere since
we're the one country that can't get invaded by the US."
    --Knopfler

"It's blowing my mind that Beto [O'Rourke] was in the Cult of the Dead Cow.
I'm sure a lot of you don't understand what this means, but it's the computer
geek version of finding out Bernie Sanders was in the Wu-Tang Clan."
    --Keith Calder

"I'm a performance artist, so a weird lopsided body works."
    --Annie Sprinkle

"Imagination should be used, not to escape reality, but to create it."
    --Colin Wilson

"For a lot of white people, the Mueller Report is the first time in their life
where they called the cops and nothing happened."
    --@karaokecomputer

"Remember, not only are you writing a comment that will be stripped out by
the compiler, you're creating documentation that no one will ever read."
    --Gonzo Hacker

"Organizational rule number one: Those at the top will always believe the
system that put them there is a meritocracy."
    --Marsh Ray

"We live in _The Onion_ Cinematic Universe."
    --Blackle Mori

"I don't want 1980s 8-bit microcomputing back.  I don't even want the 1980s
8-bit microcomputing subculture back.  I want the future that I thought that
subculture would lead to.  A world where we used technology to improve
ourselves, improve our world, and share the results fairly with everyone.  And
not as a battering ram to smash down other people's doors and take all their
stuff."
    --Nate Cull

"The fastest and most efficient way to kill a software engineer's professional
confidence: Put them through the hiring process."
    --Meredith Matthews

"If you live in a democratic country where the government is you, you cannot
say, 'I followed orders.'  If you recognize that something is wrong, you have
to speak out to set it straight."
    --Lisa Kalvelage

"Shit, the bad guy's monologuing on the PA.  Not a good sign."
    --Logomancer

"The public at large was quite unconcerned about the debate between the
experts.  For them, Shalmanaser was a legand, a myth, a folk hero, and a
celebrity; with all that, he didn't need to be conscious as well."
    --From _Stand On Zanzibar_ by John Brunner

"Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people."
    --Zoe

"Implying your existing staff are mediocre morons isn't a page from any
business book I ever read, but who am I to judge?  I don't have an MBA, just
a heart."
    --Corey Quinn

"People keep bringing up like civil conversation or whatever as if climate
scientists and activists haven't been civilly urging politicians to fucking do
something about this for longer than i've been alive.  Civility, it turns out,
does not have more leverage than money.  If only the kids had gone through the
proper, recognized way to get representatives to take action, by spending
millions of dollars on lobbyists."
    --Colin Spacetwinks

"If we have to sacrifice a single AC-130 for clean drinking water for our
citizens, then the terrorists win."
    --Chase

"Mocking and shaming someone for not being 100% up to speed with security just
makes you look like an arrogant jerk."
    --Liam O

"Can't spell progress without spelling regress to within a Levenshtein
distance of 1!"
    --Jon Evans

"The schadenfreude around NSA leaving a JDWP port open IN DEBUG MODE in Ghidra
is everything wrong with this industry.  Stop being a dick.  This is easily
the best free software RE toolkit in forever.  You're running it locally in a
lab and it's fucking debug mode."
    --Mike Forbes

"True fear is wondering if you remembered to connect to your VPN before
downloading hundreds of gigabytes of totally-just-linux-isos from your home
connection."
    --Vala

"This kind of group dynamic is exactly what made the Cultural Revolution in
China so terrifying.  Anyone could be labeled 'reactionary' and nobody would
question why.  Everyone would just turn on them or be labeled 'reactionary'
themselves.  People were imprisoned and killed over this.  It tore friends and
families apart, it gave people with ill will towards others an opportunity
to dispose of them, and it was the driving force behind all a manner of other
awful things."
    --Cosmic Elizabeth

"The best thing about the spaces we build and protect by immediately shunning
anyone who steps out of line (or appears to do so) is how scared I feel to
express many of my opinions for fear of never being able to talk to a large
chunk of my friends again."
    --Lynnesbiune

"Cancel culture is when anyone who wants to stop and do their research before
acting is immediately considered part of the problem.  Cancel culture hurts
people because there is no middle ground.  There's no room to try to help
anyone.  You're either on one side or the other, and if you're even a tiny
bit away from the side someone's on, you're dead to them forever."
    --Ben Lubar

"Selenium sure took a fucking screwdriver and turned it into a battlemech that
can't actually turn screws, huh?  Imagine the creator of Selenium looking at
the burned out Darth Vader mask of PHP and knowing he might never equal in
overcomplication, but he will sure as hell try."
    --Jason Scott

"Not everybody can function with a level of elasticity in their reality."
    --Joseph Matheny

"A proof is a repeatable experiment in persuasion."
    --Jim Horning

"The point of modern propaganda isn't only to misinform or push an agenda.
It is to exhaust your critical thinking, to annihilate truth."
    --Garry Kasparov

"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough to keep up."
    --Lily Tomlin

"The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears.  It was
their final, most essential command."
    --George Orwell, _1984_

"[I] found an old chatlog from 11 years ago and saw I'd sent someone a link to
something on Youtube.  So i clicked on it to see if the link was still
working 11 years later.  Anyway [it] turns out I just rickrolled myself 11
years in the future."
    --Josef

"The world is not always a kind place.  That's something all children learn
for themselves, whether we want them to or not, but it's something they really
need our help to understand."
    --Fred Rogers

"I just uttered the phrase 'The Friend is struggling to exercise good
discernment regarding sharing his opinions,' so if you're ever wondering what
'That jackass needs to shut the fuck up' sounds like in Quaker, now you know."
    --Annalee Flower

"I like sensible, but these are not times for sensible."
    --theGibson

"There's really only about 50 microUSB cables in the whole world, they simply
teleport from place to place in order to maximize human frustration."
    --MightyBigCar

"Hammer Brothers' job description: Troll ninjas."
    --Sinister1

"If chiptune is just music made with integrated circuits and integrated
circuits are just flattened sand with lightning inside this means that the
sound of thunder at the beach is chiptune."
    --Blackle Mori

"Even cash grabby, pulp-y, 'bad' fiction can have merit, can teach us something
about the world, about people, about history, or about ourselves."
    --AJ Roach

"Never underestimate a nerd with a misunderstood yet superior encoding format."
    --DJ Sundog

"This is probably one of the areas where I differ the most from other
hacker/cyborg types... I don't want an exo to process more information, or a
library to save more of it... I want it to better process the small part of
that which best serves me."
    --Feonixrift

"Oh no, this is becoming a lewd Good Morning thread... requesting immediate
evac."
    --Ash Furrow

"I pirated this game and I feel like I got scammed."
    --Shekhinah

"It's important to get angry.  It's important to get over it.  But never accept
your limitations."
    --Simon McKay, _The Wizard_

"If you agree with me on 9 out of 12 issues, vote for me.  If you agree with
me on 12 out of 12 issues, see a psychiatrist."
    --Ed Kotch

"We're only creative when we need to work around Security."
    --Anonymous Cow-orker

"It's all about merit, until merit has tits."
    --Naomi Wu

"The efficiency limit of capitalism ends up being you can't just kill people
if their existence is inefficient.  Oh, govs do try that!  But then the
mission becomes, don't die."
    --Dan Kaminsky

"It is genuinely shocking how quickly the right-wing grift industry will turn
you into a fucking lunatic."
    --Carlos Maza

"There's two sorts of people: The 'prove it to me' people and the 'anything is
possible' people."
    --Simon McKay, _The Wizard_

"If your brand or business is more important than being a decent human being,
you shouldn't be leading anyone."
    --Angela E. Morris

"Bad faith actors have systematically poisoned the rhetorical devices of
discussion in good faith."
    --Jonathan Korman

"The questions permitted at Davos and TED are never the real questions.  The
answers permitted at Davos and TED are never the real answers."
    --Geoffrey Miller

"One error made by Orwell in _1984_ is the Party would not need to go to the
extent of employing the likes of Smith to go back and falsify the news record.
The Party could just state what the past was, regardless of the news record,
and too few people would care or want to check."
    --David Allen Green

"An idealist is someone who thinks that because a rose smells better than a
cabbage, it'll make better soup."
    --Simon McKay, _The Wizard_

"I'm not going to change how things work for everyone because of a Docker
container I don't provide."
    --Fox, on TT-RSS

"Imagine these in the hands of someone who knows what they're doing!"
    --Jason Murphy

"How embarrassing that our students wore white supremacist paraphernalia while
harassing a Native American elder, they were only supposed to wear white
supremacist paraphernalia while harassing women seeking health care.  Imagine
having to apologize because you brought the wrong flavor of violent douchebag
mob."
    --Lindsay King-Miller

"Fight for someone else's rights like your rights depend on it, because
they do."
    --Eva

"Some free software is 'libre as in lucha libre': It helps to make up a secret
identity, because you're going to have to do battle with a bunch of masked
chuds with opinions before you even get to wrestle the software itself."
    --Karli Marxxx

"I am buying physical DVDs.  And I may have to get a Blu-Ray player.  I am
offended by this.  But I have been arriving at a point where some of the
things I want to watch obsessively and study are simply not available on
streaming or even pirate services... So, you know, it's not just that I'm
An Old.  It's that streaming services don't have what I want - and in a few
cases where what I want to see has been available, it's been cheaper to buy
the DVD than to buy the stream, which is kind of insane."
    --Warren Ellis

"The lesson to be learned from the y2k bug is that if you avert the disaster
nobody will think you did anything."
    --Gar

"I am tired of context collapse and having to put a dozen disclaimers on
anything lest someone misinterprets it."
    --Gargron

"In a real sense, the amount of punk in the human species will determine
whether humanity goes extinct in the next fifty years."
    --Silver Spook Games

"Hey can y'all stop boosting shit about node.js into my timeline, I am kinda
over reading about your abuse fetishes."
    --Kaniini

"Live every day like you are a credited but unnamed character who appears in
exactly one scene in a David Lynch movie."
    --Modernist Microfiche Minotaur

"Living in the future has had many disappointments, but my electric books are
a personal positive."
    --Warren Ellis, on the Kindle Paperwhite

"I'm willing to bet that in the next decade or two we will see an 'expert'
from _Ancient Aliens_ in a US Presidential debate.  Please prove me wrong,
reality."
    --Timescanner

"It's a shame we're going to let this country collapse to appease the racist
hysteria of a bunch of chucklefuckers who've never been more than twenty miles
from the shithole they were born in, but here we are, I guess."
    --Josh Ellis

"It's probably for the best that you can't stab people over the Internet."
    --Matt Blaze

"The DoD purchased L0phtcrack software from L0pht Heavy Industries.  Then
later a DoD official told us he would never trust us hackers on their network.
We told him our code was already running on your network.  People don't
understand the trust you give running other people's code."
    --Weld Pond

"Sometimes the answer to, ''Isn't someone going to step up and do the right
thing before he kills us all?'' is: Nope."
    --Xeni Jardin
      ("sometimes?")

"In the stock market, size is power: The more money you have, the more
information you get, and the better you can guess at good investments.  As a
retail investor, you basically have no power.  This is why most retail
investors give their money to institutions."
    --Heidi N. Moore

"People don't listen.  They don't listen when you're nice, when you're patient,
they don't listen when you're angry, they just don't listen.  They do whatever
they were already gonna do, and then they whine like children when it doesn't
work out for them.  Everything has consequences and we're far too willing to
make allowances for people who do stupid shit even after they were told
exactly what would happen.  Especially when their stupidity fucks everyone
around them.  I don't care if you think that sounds elitist.  This isn't a
game where we get points for group participation.  Things are scary and we
need smart people dealing with them without the distraction and waste of
energy trying to convince the ignorant motherfuckers to get up to speed."
    --Josh Ellis

"Things change.  Ain't nothin' like it once was.  Ain't a goddamn thing."
    --Pastor Manul Laphroaig

"I don't think the execution is relevant when it was obviously a bad idea in
the first place.  This is like putting rabid weasels in your pants, and later
expressing regret at having chosen those particular rabid weasels and that
pair of pants."
    ---maf

"I felt then, as I feel now, that the politicians who took us to war should
have been given the guns and told to settle their differences themselves,
instead of organizing nothing better than legalized mass murder."
    --Harry Patch, final surviving veteran of World War I, who died in
      2009 at age 111.

"It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane."
    --Philip K. Dick

"What other reaction can we have?  I literally just flew my robot to get a
high resolution picture of my city from my backyard and the whole ordeal took
under 5 minutes.  I have a current pocket rectangle that shoots slow motion.
I'm talking to you on a MAGIC BOX."
    --@Mainebot@octodon.social

"When in Rome, of course you drink the terrible local beer that only tourists
drink."
    --Anonymous Cow-orker

"I'm not being sarcastic, I'm outright lying."
    --Anonymous Cow-orker

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken
place."
    --George Bernard Shaw

"To his enemies, Assange has betrayed much more than a country.  He has
betrayed the ideology of the ruling powers."
    --@jJhnCusack

"When the world goes mad, those who resist are denounced as lunatics."
    --George Monbiot

"Sometimes you gotta disambiguate your fuckers."
    --Maradydd

"I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them."
    --Ian L. Fleming

"Tech imposter syndrome is one part not thinking you are smart enough, and one
part not thinking you are a shitty enough person to succeed."
    --Wilkie

"Sometimes the best form of support is a private, quiet, 'Friend, you meant
well, but you have royally fucked up here.'"
    --William Pietri

"When someone generalizes about a complex phenomenon in a way that's broadly
true, pick out the one counter-example and fixate the conversation on that,
because the real-world we inhabit is a syllogism and this is logically sound."
    --Antonio Garcia Martinez

"To prepare for the next seven news cycles, remember three principles: There
are no limits, there is no bottom, these people lie about everything."
    --Paul Krugman

"May all your enemies be as stupid as Jacob Wohl."
    --evacide

"It's the authoritarianism we should worry about, it's the incompetence we
should be grateful for."
    --Jonathan Chait

"There's a lot of countries that have credible propaganda skills (let's not
forget VOA here), but there's new techniques that exploit the nature of the
Internet, not just the medium of the Internet — far fewer countries that get
that right.  It's hard to be a propagangsta."
    --The Grugq

"The progressive mind looks at the suffering in the world and reasons
backwards to develop policies.  The conservative mind finds this deeply
corrupt.  They [conservatives] reason the other way: decide what is just, and
if suffering results, the only way to remain moral is to harden yourself to
it.  If you allowed your empathy to decide policy, you would override what you
had decided was just in a 'pure,' results-free thinking space."
    --jendziura

"If I ever die and someone uses my death to make a name for themselves on the
conference circuit like folks did after Aaron Schwartz died, I will literally
claw myself out of the grave and come for you, you crass motherfucker."
    --Aloria

"The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist
after it, he knows too little."
    --Mark Twain

"Never tempt fate.  It plays for keeps."
    --Mira Grant

"After I'm gone, some of you will seclude yourselves in the forests and
mountains to meditate, while others may drink rice wine and enjoy the company
of women.  Both kinds of Zen are fine, but if some become professional
clerics, babbling about 'Zen as the Way,' they are my enemies."
    --Ikkyu, Head abbot of Daitoku-ji temple addressing the monks in the year
      of his death 1481

"Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back."
    --Paul Erdos

"The easiest way to radicalize someone is to permanently warp their view of
reality."
    --Mike Caulfield, American Association of State Colleges and Universities

"I used to think chiptunes were played out as game soundtracks but honestly I
would take one of those any day over the farty AAA-fake-Hans-Zimmer shit that
is in every game now."
    --That Cosmonaut

"Conspiracy theories are what happen when you notice something real and don't
have an effective analytic framework to contextualize it."
    --Mardiroos

"Antisemitism is the Free Space in conspiracy theory bingo."
    --Photophore Girl

"Definitional equality, otherwise known as the 'because fuck you that's why'
operator."
    --Marydydd

"To get the most overtly fascist, awful, bigoted or contemptible law
enforcement view, get the head of a law enforcement union or foundation."
    --@popehat

"When an individual human feels shame but not guilt, that's a problem.  It
leads not to moral behavior but to performing morality until the heat is off.
We'd probably call a person like that a narcissist."
    --William Pietri
      [or a sociopath]

"Evidence based governance, you say?  I'm glad to hear you're a fan of
_Star Trek_.  Because that is straight up science fiction.  I wish it wasn't."
    --Adam Savage

"Ah, yes.  'The rules.'  All important progress has been made by following
those."
    --Emerson Hoff

"Realistically, if you're within range of an atomic blast without hardened
protection, you're screwed with or without these drills [duck and cover]
anyway.  All it does is standardise the reverse shadows on the ground.  I guess
clutching at straws is a perfectly valid survival tactic under a mushroom
cloud, inasmuch as any tactic can be."
    --Patchouli Woollahra

"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."
    --Fred Allen

"I don't cook.  I've tried a few times, but every time the guys in the hazmat
suits and black helicopters showed up, there were SWAT teams and sirens and
frankly, I'm tired of the paperwork."
    --J. Michael Straczynski, on Thanksgiving

"I don't believe our species can survive unless we fix this (social media).
We cannot have a society in which, if two people wish to communicate, the only
way that can happen is if it's financed by a third person who wishes to
manipulate them."
    --Jaron Lanier

"The more marginalized you are, the more things you are forced to notice about
the world in order to survive."
    --Pookleblinky

"As a society, we are as advanced as we ever have been, yet still mystified by
the technology inherent in a wombat's asshole."
    --Dildog

"It's not civil disobedience if a liberal doesn't reference both MLK and
Gandhi out of context in a thinkpiece condemning it."
    --Kittybecca

"No one has to talk to or make any effort to 'understand' people who don't
want you to exist."
    --Mia the Nasal Consonant

"The last boss of photography is making someone in VR glasses look cool."
    --Dan Kaminsky

"The nature of activism is visibility, and the nature of visibility is risk."
    --Ben Nagy

"The funny thing about dudes who scream at people to google their questions
on forums is that usually, when you Google the answer to something, it brings
you to forums where people are asking questions and getting told by uppity
dinguses to go google it."
    --Meryl S. Kavanaugh

"The audiences like to think that satire is doing something.  But, in fact, it
is mostly to leave themselves satisfied.  Satisfied rather than angry, which
is what they should be."
    --Tom Lehrer

"Beware the old man who practices a profession where men usually die young."
    --Jeremy Phillips

"Please find the people who wrote the PCIe spec and give each a medal.  This
has been the single least ambiguous protocol specification I have ever read.
My cat can probably implement a PCIe endpoint working from it."
    --@whitequark

"For my friends, everything.  For my enemies, the law."
    --Oscar Benavides

"During the Vietnam War, every respectable artist in this country was against
the war.  It was like a laser beam.  We were all aimed in the same direction.
The power of this weapon turns out to be that of a custard pie dropped from
a stepladder six feet high."
    --Kurt Vonnegut

"Compilation is a necessary but insufficient step."
    --Anonymous Co-Worker

"If ever there was a conspiracy theory I hope to be true, conspiring to be
sure that refugees and people of all faiths and all races have a safe home
and the resources to thrive in our communities would be it."
    --Anonymous

"'Snowflakes' is a word used by sociopaths in an attempt to discredit the
notion of empathy."
    --John Cleese

"Never depend on government or institutions to create change.  All
significant social change in human history was accomplished by individual
action."
    --Margaret Mead

"True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like
leaves, found everywhere."
    --Anonymous

Fear is for people who believe they have a future.

"There are some people who would also like to change things, but who haven't
got around to using bombs yet, or setting houses on fire.  If they thought
there were many more like themselves, they might decide to start too.  So we
like to let it be thought that it's really someone else's fault."
    --Norman House, _Stand On Zanzibar_

"Part of why shitposting as part of the idea-development process is so
personally important to me is, basically, over the past year I have come to
realise that extensive and probably irreplaceable parts of my brain run on
distilled palilalia."
    --Maradydd

"I believe there is a trapdoor under all of us that has a single pin keeping
it closed; it only takes one nudge, at the right time, to pop it open."
    --JMS

"'Virtue signaling' is a sociopath codeword for ''I don't understand how
anyone could care about things beyond themselves.''"
    --Meryl S. Kavanaugh

"Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker."
    --Linus, _It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown_

"There is no present era as we know it without the xenophobia and war jingoism
ushered into place in the early 2000's and left in place because the wars
never ended."
    --@AthertonKD

"When stupidity is considered patriotism, it is unsafe to be intelligent."
    --Isaac Asimov

"You are way more likely to die by a force of nature than in a terrorist
attack.  Odds are that you die by suicide before you die by murder.  Infosec
is doing risk assessment a little skewed, don't do it by security headlines,
no matter how sexy they are."
    --Simple Nomad

"How can we live if there is no more here and everything is now?"
    --Paul Virilio

"Being in infosec for so long takes its toll.  I've come to the conclusion
that if you give a data point to a company, they will eventually sell it, leak
it, lose it or get hacked and relieved of it.  There really don't seem to be
any exceptions, and it gets depressing."
    --Brian Krebs

"We've reached a point in 2018 where we've stopped expecting justice.  We
aren't demanding jail; we're just asking for abusers to stop being promoted to
positions where they rule over us.  And somehow that is still too much."
    --Sarah LaPolla

"To those with power and privilege, accountability and equality is so often
experienced as loss, injustice, and persecution."
    --Chris Hayes

"In order to get a camel through the eye of a needle, all you need is a really
powerful blender and a lot of patience."
    --Eddie Izzard

"I don't have to assume, I created them and that's what I decided."
    --J. Michael Straczynski, on fen challanging his assumptions on the
      universes he created

"If Morrissey says not to eat meat, then I'll eat meat.  That's how much I hate
Morrissey."
    --Robert Smith

"A lie doesn't become truth, wrong doesn't become right, and evil doesn't
become good just because it's accepted by a majority."
    --Booker T. Washington

"To suffix things -punk now guarantees them a cozy sub-genre status, thereby
protecting the status quo from whatever genuine conceptual threat they might
otherwise have posed.  Punk is sheer conceptual threat, punching up."
    --William Gibson

"Any technology, no matter how primitive, is magic to those who don't
understand it." 
    --Florence Ambrose

"You live in a world where an entire operating system can fit on a wafer thin
piece of plastic smaller than your finger tip.  And you can run this on a $5
(or $10) computer that is small enough to give away on the cover of a magazine.
You should be amazed, excited, and happy about this."
    --Carter Nelson

"Charismatic leaders ought to come with a warning label on the forehead, 'May
be dangerous to your health.'"
    --Frank Herbert

"When people understand that the flipside of freedom is responsibility - then
you start asking for freedom from freedom."
    --Nolen Gertz

"I feel like I grew a pain mustache right here."
    --Brian Brushwood

"That looks safe."
    --Jason Murphy

"Everyone knows that debugging is twice as hard as writing a program in the
first place.  So if you're as clever as you can be when you write it, how
will you ever debug it?"
    --Brian Kernighan

"Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition. There must be in-groups
whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law
binds but does not protect."
    --Frank Wilhoit

"If you ever doubt the usefulness of your efforts, remember that a substantial
amount of trees are planted by squirrels hiding nuts and then forgetting where
they put 'em."
    --Sargoth

"Government taxes people based on money.  Charity taxes people based on
kindness."
    --Kevin Binswanger

"The first thing a principle does is kill someone."
    --Lord Peter Wimsey

"The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile, but
that it is indifferent.  But if we can come to terms with this indifference,
then our existence as a species can have genuine meaning.  However vast the
darkness, we must supply our own light."
    --Stanley Kubrick

"The Lord of the Rings: A story where the social elite coerce a trust-fund
kid's hard-working gardener into shouldering global risks.  Before it's over,
he has to physically carry his useless employer (and their jewelry collection)
up an active volcano."
    --Edward Snowden

"When I was young and foolish, I believed that there were lots of bad ideas
out there, but not that many truly horrible people.  But it turns out that
these horrible people not only exist, they run much of the world."
    --Paul Krugman

"When you see something that is technically sweet, you go ahead and do it and
you argue about what to do about it only after you have had your technical
success.  That is the way it was with the atomic bomb."
    --J. Robert Oppenheimer

"The reason I got into both punk and science fiction as a kid in the 80's is
the same: This fucked up future we find ourselves in today seemed inevitable.
So, don't blame us, we tried to warn you."
    --Jason Heller

"Watching _Hackers_ again reminds me that you either die Fisher Stevens in
_Short Circuit 2_, or live long enough to become Fisher Stevens in _Hackers_."
    --The Gibson

"The quaintest thing about cyberpunk futures where 'everyone' has robotic
upgrades and brain implants is the fantasy of an America where 'everyone' can
afford insurance to cover the surgery.  'This super powerful Chinese branded
eye implant would only cost as much as an iPhone' yeah but getting it
installed would cost 50 fucking grand."
    --Tim Maughan

"When the shock doctrine just becomes the mundane routine."
    --Captain Bland

"Just because something is technically harmless does not mean that I want to
love it and hug it and squeeze it and call it George."
    --Bryce

"I just realized that the American vision of freedom from the wage system is
for everyone to be their own small business owner.  Instead of having
solidarity and developing an equitable society, we are all autonomous
competitors and petty tyrants.  That's the American vision of a free and equal
society.  An endless hell of searching for customers and competing with each
other, each maximizing their own power and wealth, where growth is constant
and explosive."
   --Kyle

"Gods are figments of the imagination.  Yet that doesn't lessen their power
and influence.  The psyche responds with any lexicon of symbols with which it's
been primed.  It doesn't matter if that's religion, advanced mathematics, or
Marvel Comics characters.  Symbols are the language of the psyche.  Every
thought we have is 'about' something other than it's self and is therefore
symbolic in nature.  The psyche doesn't care which set of symbols, only that
they convey a relevant meaning.  Logic needn't apply."
    --Thunder Enlightening

"If you want to use currying extensively maybe you need to see a psychologist
or switch to Haskell."
    --Kaveh Mousavi Zamani, on anonymous functions in Go

"Active Directory is kind of like the heartplugs in David Lynch's _Dune_.
Everybody has to get one, and terrible things happen the moment anyone messes
with it."
    --Bryce

"Go off to write science fiction, come back to Vanilla Ice tweeting from a
quarantined plague airliner."
    --William Gibson, on 2018

"There's no such thing as a nonviolent revolution.  There's explicit violence
and there's veiled violence.  Humans using courts isn't less violent.  If
anything, it's just evidence that they've learned how to use violence
efficiently."
    --_The Powers of The Earth_, Travis J.I. Corcoran

"I'm no HR professional but it's probably a bad sign when an employee writes
an anonymous letter calling you a brain-dead asshole and you can't even
narrow it down to 100 people."
    --Jess Dweck

"There is no education or debate with a person who refuses to acknowledge you
are a human."
    --Emily Gorcenski

"Don't shade people who weren't previously 'woke' when you used to know them,
for being 'woke' now.  Either you want them to stay ignorant or you want them
to do better... Which is it?  Don't penalize them for their personal progress
or development.  You weren't born 'woke' either."
    --Munroe Bergdorf

"The towers are gone now, reduced to bloody rubble, along with all hopes for
Peace in Our Time, in the United States or any other country.  Make no mistake
about it: We Are At War now -- with somebody -- and we will stay At War with
that mysterious Enemy for the rest of our lives."
    --Hunter S. Thompson

"Kneel before my lack of shame!"
    --Jason Murphy

"Unlimited continues means no game over.  The game is only over when you say
it's over."
    --J. Random Ninja, _Angry Video Game Nerd_

"My gut [feeling] is that most conspiracy theorists have never been project
managers.  Their optimism is adorable."
    --Merlin Mann

"Clear your mind.  Your heart is trying to tell you something."
    --Unknown

"I don't think it's irony poisoning so much as it's cruelty addiction."
    --Ginny McQueen

Only the winners decide what were war crimes.

"If you never risk a faceplant, you'll never go anywhere new."
    --Peter Watts

"Microprocessors are domesticated sand."
    --Astra!

"Truth is the new hate speech."
    --Tomi Lahren

"Truth isn't truth."
    --Rudy Giuliani

"Seems Internet [access] is more profitable than booze for hotels these days."
    --Troutman, on the network uplink at Defcon 26

"Helping H- arrange her new classroom.  Not sure if school or penitentiary.
[I] Don't blame any of these kids for their shooting rampages.  If I was stuck
in one of these soul-sucking, ill-maintained hellholes I'd develop murderous
proclivities, too."
    --Anonymous US Public School Teacher, preparing for the new year

"My god, other people have complex internal lives?  Which they reflect and
express how they damn well please??  Unbelievable.  I demand a refund."
    --D Dino

"AI is by definition psychopathic, since it doesn't act upon emotions."
    --Alex Yehorenkov

"Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent
and original manner possible."
    --Richard Feynman

"All diodes can be light-emitting, with various levels of durability."
    --Anonymous

"Do not let the super-complicated be the enemy of the cheap and easy."
    --Jonathan Foote

"If you've already made something wonderful, then great.  Get out there and
meet other creators.  Build an empire and cheat death by having your stories
told long after your body is dust.  Somewhere deep in your heart is a
beautiful truth that, in the entire history of mankind, no one living soul
has ever before spoken aloud."
    --Brian Brushwood, reply to someone trolling the comments in one of his
      videos

"Riots and comedy are but symptoms of the times, profoundly revealing.  They
betray the psychological tone, the deep uncertainties... And the striving for
something better, plus the fear that nothing would come of it at all."
    --Frank Herbert, _Dune_

"We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in
which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology."
    --Carl Sagan

"I can't believe what you say because I see what you do."
    --James Baldwin

"The hash was fine, but the gurus just wanted into my pocket."
    --Terence McKenna

"Deliverables are worth more than all the invective in the world."
    --The Gibson

"I didn't bother trying to write fanfic, I just got a tattoo and called it
a day."
    --Maradydd

"This situation seems to have been fractally fuxxored."
    --Quinn Norton

"There's two sets of people: Those who, if the means for them to stay alive
were made illegal, would break the law.  And there's the people who'd loudly
support the law while breaking the law themselves."
    --Sci

"Electron: Because nobody learned from Java."
    --Matthew Graybosch

"The difference between the student radicals and the Hells Angels is that the
students are rebelling against the past, while the Angels are fighting the
future."
    --Hunter S. Thompson, _Hells Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga_

"'Intellectual' conservatives are obsessed with debate because their values
system fetishizes logic.  They do this because logic and reason as ideals are
what they hide behind to defend an absence of morality.  Compassion is not
always logical.  Kindness is not mathematically sound."
    --Peter Atencio

"I feel like this is _Alien Autopsy_, but with, like, Taco Bell."
    --Jason Murphy

"I think much of the defense of people like Musk (and Trump) is really a
devotion to the promise of easy, magical fixes that absolve us of collectively
performing the hard work and sacrifice needed to solve genuinely difficult
problems."
    --Matt Blaze

"Never try to explain something to someone who is emotionally invested in their
misunderstanding of the thing."
    --Popehat

"Always ask yourself who benefits from you deciding not to bother."
    --Tom Eastman

"Trying to live life perfectly is the opposite of living."
    --Jason Scott

"When did you first realize you were in an alternate reality?  For me, it was
when the Cubs won the World Series."
    --Nathalie Marechal, Ph.d

Entrenched interests gonna entrench.

Knowledge means that all information is not equal.

"Taking an unethical stance, after you've become known for taking ethical
stances, is much more upsetting to observers than when you've always been
unethical and nobody expects better from you."
    --Lauren Weinstein

Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from insanity.

Self-hosted infrastructure is the first step toward voluntary apotheosis.

"Our mistakes have consequences but they need not define us."
    --Johnny Long

"All those years of _Duck Hunt_ finally paid off!"
    --Jason Murphy, shooting at Brian Brushwood with a pepper ball pistol

"We cannot expect governments, corporations, or other large, faceless
organizations to grant us privacy out of their beneficence."
    --The Cypherpunk Manifesto

"Whenever there's a story about a person standing up against injustice, the
comments are so illuminating.  There's always two types of people: Those why
applaud the person because she's standing up to oppression and those who
condemn the person because she's not following the rules.  It's easy to see
how terrible atrocities happen because so many are the 'just following orders'
type of people."
    --Alison Jean

"He is one of those blokes that talks of 'necrospace' and 'ether leys' and
[is] therefore suspected of wankery."
    --DI Callaghan

"People sometimes worry that Azerbaijan will shut down Facebook.  Why would it?
Facebook is the most effective tool of control the government has."
    --Katy Pearce, professor of communications, University of Washington

"I should have realized that our decades of focused experience working on this
exact problem would be no match for your gut reaction after reading about it
on the Internet.  Why didn't you tell us sooner?"
    --Matt Blaze, on electronic voting

"Do not meddle in the affairs of chemists, for they have access to fluorine."
    --Anonymous

"At what age is it best to crush a child's dreams so that they have an easier
time stepping in to the status quo?"
"You fool.  You do not do such things to children.  A child is like a poison
missile you aim at the Future.  You encourage, fund and resource their dreams
to the fullest extent of your capability, knowing that your reward will be the
pain and misery of generations yet unborn."
    --Warren Ellis

"We run heedlessly into the abyss after putting something in front of us to
stop us from seeing it."
    --Blaise Pascal, _Pensees_

"Dr. King's policy was that nonviolence would achieve the gains for black
people in the United States.  His major assumption was that if you are
nonviolent, if you suffer, your opponent will see your suffering and will be
moved to change his heart.  That's very good.  He only made one fallacious
assumption: In order for nonviolence to work, your opponent must have a
conscience.  The United States has none."
    --Kwame Ture

When you think you're the 1 in 100 exception, remember that the other 99 think
they are, too.

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil.  God will not hold us guiltless.
Not to speak is to speak.  Not to act is to act."
    --Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Long before worrying about how to convince others, you first have to
understand what's happening yourself.
    --Andrew Gelman

"Everything that has ever happened to you has happened inside your skull."
    --David McRaney

"Monkey-controlled robots have upgraded from leg control to arm control, it
seems.  I don't consider this a useful advance.  Monkeys are well known, after
all, for, well... non-consensual sexual activities.  And I frankly refuse to
end my life desperately trying to fend off a monkey-powered robot fisting.
I mean, is that really the future you wanted?"
    --Warren Ellis

"What would happen to political journalism if everyone finally realized that
no one with power cares when you point out their hypocrisy."
    --Julia Carrie Wong

"Evil people want you to be nice, because when you're nice, it's nearly
impossible to point out the evil that they're doing... Civility confirms
normalcy.  If what's going on is not normal - and trust me, this shit is about
a thousand light years from normal - then you do not owe civility in response."
    --Chuck Wendig

"Shut the fuck up with your handwringing and pearl-clutching about civility.
You don't get to take a shit in the middle of my living room and then complain
that I'm a bad host when I throw you out of my house."
    --Wil Wheaton

"The reason you don't serve fascists in restaurants, and you protest them
there too, is so they learn that there are people all around them that don't
fear them, and will fight them.  Fascism needs fear to grow.  Stop being
scared that they'll get mad.  Your fear is their power."
    --Tor Ekeland

"Sequels and reboots don't ruin anyone's childhood; people ruin their own
childhoods by abandoning the open-mindedness and sense of wonder with which
they discovered those stories in the first place, instead falling back on
brand loyalty and a predilection for comfort and familiarity which closes them
off from new experiences.  Nostalgia is stagnation.  Don't forget the stories
you love, but don't let them keep you from growing, either."
    --Matt

"Don't dance with the safety off."
    --Snoozing Goddess

"Modern cyberpunk is the newspaper."
    --Kalt Null

"Those maintaining positions of power will always encourage the freedom to
talk about ideas, but never to act.
    --Moxie Marlinspike

"The brutal reality of politics would be probably intolerable without drugs."
    --Hunter S. Thompson

"The best company to own Github would be Pornhub.  I am serious.  They already
have a sterling uptime, excellent CMS, and it'd be an easy extension of the
brand.  They could merge both, then buy Grubhub to complete the circle.
Porngitgrubhub would rival Amazon.  It'd sweep through the Internet like a
goliath made of porn and open source code and pizza.  It'd be unstoppable and
the most cyberpunk possible company.  But no, we don't get to have the porno
pizza code company because we don't deserve good things in this hellish
timeline."
    --Pookleblinky

"You mean to tell me they can find Saddam Hussein in a fucking hole, but you
can't tell me who shot Tupac?!"
    --Chris Rock

"It's genuinely exhausting seeing Twitter get raged against for making a very,
very hard call correctly.  Stop it, or nobody will ever do anything not
aggressively legislated as a requirement."
    --Dan Kaminsky

"If I don't do something at home for free and for fun, I don't do it on camera
for money."
    --Nina Hartley

"If you're having anxiety, hi.  Being a person is more complicated than any
narrative in media could ever encapsulate.  So don't think you're the only one
who feels like a heretic in society.  People lie/omit too much for you to use
them as a gauge for your normalcy/morality."
    --Bailey Jay

"Get ready for two weeks of media coverage of politicians acting like they
give a shit when in reality they just want to boost their approval ratings
before midterms."
    --David Hogg

"Calm people live.  Tense people die."
    --Adam Savage

"The worst part of Slack outages isn't the downtime - it's the wave of
centralized infrastructure thinkpieces we're going to have to deal with for
the rest of the week."
    --Justin Duke

"I'm learning to drive an ambulance and I find it a lot more relaxing than my
time on the Internet."
    --Danielle Riendeau, on being an EMT

"''Please don't'' doesn't scale as well as you'd like."
    --Jay Ashworth

"Dare to be naive.  That's the only way you'll ever learn anything."
    --Buckminster Fuller

"I love the future.  I can stand in the restroom peeing while simultaneously
engaging in a multi-way text message conference on my watch through voice
recognition.  What a time to be alive."
    --Bryce

Direct action gets the goods but electoral politics make sure you get to keep
them.

"'Proof of concept' means it works on my machines.  'Fully weaponised' means
it works on your machine."
    --Mike Walker

"I cannot lie to you about your chances, but you have my sympathy."
    --Bishop, _Aliens_

"Apparently, that Ambien is like some _Quantum Leap_ shit.  Took two last
night and woke up in 1885 in the body of some Belgian dude named Leopold, and
shit is getting a little off the rails in the Congo, ya'all."
    --Josh Ellis

"First, they came for Roseanne, and I was like 'Hell, yeah.'  Then they came
for Bill Maher, and I was like, 'Holy shit.  Is it my birthday?'"
    --Tim Duffy

"Once you extol emotionless logic as the ideal form of thought, then you'll
fear becoming the rounding error in someone else's logical calculations."
    --Cory Doctorow

"Public stupidity always has a ricochet effect."
    --J. Michael Straczynski

"What kind of spaghetti code is NPM running?"
"The kind that downloads Nyarlathotep's porn stash all over your frontal lobe
if you read it the wrong way."
    --Abby and Matthew Lovelace

"Weirdos willing to question the status quo are a precious societal resource
that must not be squandered."
    --Sonya Mann

"Why do so many Christians interpreting Donald Trump always talk about the Old
Testament?  Because if they used the New Testament they'd have to talk about
the man who asked us to care for the poor and welcome the stranger.  These
Christians would have to talk about Christ."
    --James Martin

"Asking whether torture is effective for obtaining information is like asking
whether slavery is good for the economy.  If that's the debate, we've already
lost our moral compass."
    --Matt Blaze

"Assuming that anyone cares about something just because YOU do is a huge
mistake."
    --Ice-T

"Use a drug in the exact opposite of the way you smoke cigarettes, and odds are
you'll find divinity somewhere along the way."
    --Pookleblinky

"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
    --Benjamin Franklin

"'person' is an interface that humans usually implement but by no means is
restricted to them.  Bots can be people too, but a lot of them aren't."
    --Kit Redgrave

"You can't fix ducts with Duct Tape.  It is absolute /shite/ for fixing ducts."
    --Adam Savage

"So the thing _Hackers_ gets really really wrong isn't the computers and the
hacking and the Gibson, it's how diverse, equal, and accepting infosec is of
PoC, women, and other minority groups."
    --Ben Hughes

"Dance like you're using the entropy generated by your movement to create
cryptographic keys."
    --Vi

"If revolution results only in a change of dictatorship, then it is hardly
worth while."
    --Emma Goldman

"I've long suspected that the central element of my job is to attempt to gauge
the weirdness quotient of the real world."
    --William Gibson

"You understand reality when everyone else is running around confused and
angry and upset because they think reality is something happening to them,
rather than something they are making every moment with every thought."
    --Andrew Hussie

Revenge never pays what you think it will.

"Ayn Rand's 'philosophy' is nearly perfect in its immorality, which makes the
size of her audience all the more ominous and symptomatic as we enter a
curious new phase in our society... To justify and extol human greed and
egotism is to my mind not only immoral, but evil."
    --Gore Vidal

"At 70 years old, if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it
would be to use the words 'fuck off' much more frequently."
    --Helen Mirren

"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought
which they seldom use."
    --Soren Kierkegaard

"Behind every major vulnerability forewarned by basic threat modelling there
is an engineer with a hill to die on."
    --@zemnmez, on software developers claiming that reported 0-days in their
      projects don't actually exist

"OPSEC will get you through times of no crypto better than crypto will get you
through times of no OPSEC."
    --The Grugq

"Being a programmer basically requires you to deal with extended periods of
feeling like a moron punctuated by brief periods of feeling like a goddamn
genius."
    --Matt Hink

"They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound
argument but to intimidate and disconcert.  If you press them too closely, they
will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for
argument is past.  It is not that they are afraid of being convinced.  They
fear only to appear ridiculous or to prejudice by their embarrassment their
hope of winning over some third person to their side."
    --Jean-Paul Sarte, _Anti-Semite and Jew_

"World War III is a guerrilla information war with no division between military
and civilian participation."
    --Marshall McLuhan

Blowing out someone else's candle doesn't make yours burn any brighter.

"The same generation who wanted all the amazing tech from _Snow Crash_, are
the first to turn it all off when it actually arrives."
    --Ben Hughes

"There is no neutral education.  Education is either for domestication or for
freedom."
    --Joao Coutinho

"The left talks about what they believe other people will do for them.  The
right talks about what they know they can personally do."
    --Jack O'Spades

"The fallacy endorsed by the libertarian/prepper/gun-nut axis claims that a
single Great Man should be able to control his own destiny by force of will,
that enough ammo and food and cruelty will lead to certain victory over the
degenerate forces of the Liberal Sheeple Conspiracy.  They imagine a very
specific end-times scenario that has never actually existed, and they believe
they're superior because they've prepared for it."
    --Max Anton Brewer

The fact that there's a highway to Hell but only a stairway to Heaven says a
lot about anticipated traffic volume.

"Ideally, the player should realize they brought a big floppy dildo to a
nuclear testing site."
    --Pookleblinky, on writing Delta Green characters

"Being wrong isn't a bad thing like they teach you in school.  It is an
opportunity to learn something."
    --Richard Feynman

"It's a dangerous thing to say what a picture is.  If things get too specific,
the dream stops." 
    --David Lynch

"No matter what, if you do something extraordinary, no matter what it is or
how well or how badly you do it, there are going to be people who worship you
for doing it, and there are going to be people who throw shit at you for doing
it.  The trick to surviving in this business is making sure that the first
group doesn't go to your head, and the second group isn't right."
    --Phil Brucato

Humanism is the replacement of faith in God with an equally unfounded faith
in human beings.

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to
improve the world."
    --Anne Frank

"When your lawyer starts crying, you know you're in trouble."
    --Timothy Leary

"Simple words surface the true meaning."
    --dtluna

"Hey, they are nice kids out on the road touring.  What are you doing besides
being a grumpy old fuck?"
    --Rob Zombie, on Baby Metal haters

"Ned, _Animal House_ is fucking funny, and white people are crazy."
    --Richard Pryor, on _National Lampoon's Animal House_

"I'm very sorry to hear that the direct and predictable results of your actions
happened to you."
    --Alex Baze

"It's a violent society, snowflakes."
    --Nicole Giacomini

"The reward for a job not fucked up is another job."
    --Bob Howard, _The Delerium Brief_

"I don't understand people who think that self-improving artificial
intelligence will solve all of humanity's problems.  We've already got
self-improving natural intelligence and all it does is shitpost and be
depressed."
    --Gargron

"That's what I think Kekistan and Newgrounds and Columbine and all that
followed are: They're nihilism.  Not the zen kind.  The kind that says we're
trapped in a rapidly dying world and all death in the meantime is just
euthanasia."
    --Patrick Gerard

"The fuckface who was bombing black people in Texas probably came out of this
shit [first decade Internet culture].  He was a little young for Newgrounds
specifically, but I can see the path to being 'radicalized by the void,' if
you will.  Becoming a monster because you were taught that becoming a person
is wrong... by 'radicalized by the void' I mean that there is a sort of person
who does not want to be a person, who hates the idea of becoming a person and
the responsibility associated with it.  They want nothing more than to be left
alone to be mediocre."
    --@gravislizard

"The greatest orator, save one, of antiquity, has left it on record that he
always studied his adversary's case with as great, if not with still greater,
intensity than even his own."
    --John Stuart Mill

"You have n problems.  You try to solve them with Javascript.  Now you have n!
problems." 
    --Unknown

"Rebasing a Git repository is like fighting with chainsaw-nunchucks."
    --Bryce

"We often shield ourselves from ethical problems by ignoring populations who
would throw light on a project's wicked complexity.  This is a good indication
of an ethical problem: Turning a blind eye to people who will be affected by
the system but who are difficult to reach or who may have inconveniently
conflicting goals."
    --Tyler Schnoebelen

"It's no good fighting an election campaign on the facts, because, actually
it's all about emotion."
    --Dr. Alex Tayler, Cambridge Analytica

"It sounds a dreadful thing to say, but these are things that don't
necessarily need to be true.  As long as they're believed."
    --Alexander Nix, CEO, Cambridge Analytica

"When I was in an important position, they always complimented me, and when I
lost this position, they forgot about me and did not keep their promise.  Do
not trust your position or the amount of money you have, nor your power, nor
your intelligence, it will not last. "
    --Arnold Schwarzenegger

"I feel like I have to be some e