Neologism: Sharkfinning

Nov 03 2018

sharkfinning - verb, gerund - Learning something from scratch in an entirely hands-on way, which is to say, "Swimming with the sharks."  When you don't know what you're doing or how to do it, but you have a job to do.

Neologism: Faraday roundtable

Oct 22 2018

Faraday roundtable - noun phrase - A meeting conducted entirely offline.  All portable devices and computers are powered down, and ideally locked inside conductive and grounded containers to prevent radio transmissions from reaching or being emitted from same.  Similarly, no active computers are permitted at the meeting.  The proceedings of such a meeting are carried out using Chatham house rules.

Named for the Faraday cage.

Neologism: Squirrel clever

Oct 01 2018

squirrel clever - noun complex - The state of being extremely smart when it comes to figuring out how to do something.  Notably, this does not include figuring out whether or not one should do something.

Neologism: Onboarding suppository

Aug 11 2018

onboarding suppository - noun complex - The massive volume of data that a new hire has to assimilate and comprehend before they can understand what they're supposed to be working on to any meaningful extent.

Neologism: PoS

Jul 16 2018

PoS - noun phrase - Term for the DSL or cable modem your ISP requires you to run.  The quality of the equipment is exactly what you think it is.

Neologism: Binder Hell

Jun 21 2018

Binder Hell - noun - The state of being stuck dealing with varying numbers of people on the phone who are only functionally capable of putting you through processes documented in their three ring binders, even though none of those processes will actually fix the problem you have.  Symptomatic of an over-engineered system which has all but programmed out common sense and initiative.  For example, a company which is so hell-bent on keeping customers will needlessly obfuscate or entirely eliminate processes that let customers cancel their service.  As another example, a telecom provider which demands the serial number of your SIM card when your device doesn't actually have a SIM card.

Neologism: GSCA

Mar 31 2018

GSCA - acronym, verb - Using grep, sed, cut, and awk on a Linux or UNIX box to chop up, mangle, or otherwise process data on the command line prior to doing anything serious with it.  This is not to preclude the use of additional tools (such as sort).

Neologism: Nopefully

Mar 31 2018

nopefully - adverb - Something in a state or manner in which one fervently hopes something does not happen.