You might be a technopagan if...
Wednesday 17 January 2007 at 10:23 pm- You write computer viruses that contain copies of your memories. You're going to live forever, dammit!
- An antiviral software company has to release updates as a result.
- You've used a fractal explorer as a pathworking tool.
- You've used awk and sed to assist in temurah.
- You've written a compiler for a magickal language.
- You've defined a new Unicode mapping for a magickal language you've created.
- You wrote a search engine for your book of shadows.
- You've ever consecrated a PDA.
- ...and now no one else understands how to use it.
- You use a .wav file, Google, and your display instead of a bell, book, and candle.
- Apprenticeship isn't a year and a day for your coven, it's eighteen months (per Moore's Law).
- Your preferred method of divination consists of
- ...dissecting a core dump.
- ...executing /usr/games/fortune.
- ...looking at output from /dev/urandom.
- ...fingering everyone else on your system to see what's in their .plan files.
- ...screensaver gazing.
- ...contacting the Usenet Oracle.
- images.google.com
- ..randomly changing your desktop background.
- A page from your book of shadows has ever made it into Phrack.
- One can find back issues of Equinox and 2600 side by side on your bookshelves.
- You open and close e-mails with '0x5d'.
- You take advantage of sleep deprivation during [finals,midterms,OS projects] to practise dreamwalking.
- You've ever had to sneak your coven into your building for circle because you're too busy at work to leave.
- You've ever sent your PFY out for fried chicken for a sacrifice.
- Psychic protection means erecting a firewall.
- Instead of north, south, east, and west, you call the watchtowers of TCP, IP, UDP, and ICMP.
- You've ever written a spell in Perl.
- You've ever experimented with glamour by trying to encrypt yourself.
- You studied goetia in the hope of dealing with Word macro viruses more effectively.
- ...and it works.
- "Waving a dead chicken" over your Exchange server takes on an entirely new meaning.
- Your athame was manufactured by Gerber, Leatherman, or Victorinox.
- Your wand is a laser pointer.
- You refer to studying for the MCSE certification as 'walking the left-hand path.'
- Your altar cloth is a few meters of old source listings.
- A sabbat has ever been interupted by
- ...a crashing server.
- ...your pager going off.
- ...someone knocking over a candle onto your laptop.
- ...your laptop running out of power.
- ...a power outage.
- ...writing off a bug as the remote case.
- Instead of the watchtowers, you invoke Linus Torvalds, Richard M. Stallman, Eric S. Raymond, and James Parry.
- ...by e-mail address.
- ...by MAC address.
- ...by message ID code.
- ...by public key.
- You have ever GPLed a spell.
- You banish by reformatting a hard drive.
- Your ritual garb is a duster and a pair of mirrorshades.
- You have ever developed a ritual to cleanse a computer of Windows.
- An evangelist asks if you've been saved, and you produce a small DAT tape.
- You've ever smudged the server room at work.
- Being born again means executing `apt-get upgrade bash`.
- Your book of shadows was written by Brian Kernighan.
- You've ever used gematria on source code to find a bug.
- You envoke your servitors from /etc/rc.d/rc.local
- Working customer support and Inanna's quest are all too similiar.
- You name systems after sabbats and esbats.
- You have caught yourself chanting in binary.
- You accidentally erase a directory and remark that the data is on its way to the Summerlands.
- Root. God. What's the difference?
- You've ever written a ritual in Perl.
- ...in C.
- ...in assembly.
- ...in LISP.
- Books on the Craft and programming are intermingled on your bookshelves.
- The Quabbalah sparked your interest in cryptography.
- You use it regularly for this purpose.
- The Old Craft means coding in FORTRAN.
- Your circle is cast to conform to DoD Orange Book rating B-2 or better.
- Your altar doubles as your workstation.
- Your ritual space looks like a Radio Shack stockroom.
- It is a Radio Shack stockroom. The manager's in your coven.
- A Working has ever caused a major network outage in your region.
- You've ever asked "Where'd I leave my tarot deck?" and the answer is c:\winnt\profiles\<username>\personal\cards.txtor/home/<username>/religion/deck.txt
- Your keyboard is burned or has melted wax on it.
- Your weblog doubles as your Book of Shadows.
- Your magickal language of choice isn't Latin, Ouranian Barbaric, or Enochian, it's L3375p34k.
- You model your servitors after science fiction or video game characters, such as Daleks, Scutters, the sentrybots from Impossible Mission, the ghosts from Pac-Man, or Red Lectroids.
- Your license plate or bumper sticker is an invocation of some kind.
- You don't take querants or seekers into your order, you have PFY's.
- You've ever used a sigil for your desktop background.
- ...computer case medallion.
- You've ever venerated your servers as godforms in ritual.
- You've made ritual tools out of discarded electronics.
- You've found a way to use fibre optic cable in a rite.
- You've ever consecrated your coffee maker.
- You've ever fired a random Google Image search as a sigil.
- You speak Perl.
- You speak in regular expressions.
- Your book of shadows was autographed by William Gibson.
- You use punchcards as bookmarks.
- You've ever gotten qwertyitis studying or writing in your Book of Shadows.
- You read information security case studies to see if one of your workings has been written up.
- Your vanity license plate was inspired by gematria or notariquon.
- Your vanity license plate is one of the 'special numbers', like 23, 93, 333, or 74.
- ...in a different numerical system, like binary or hexadecimal.
- Your official title in your coven is BOFH.
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